This one has been 'different'...

 I went longer without discomfort from my right eye surgery - but this left one seems to cause discomfort soon after I came home.  Not the eye itself last night but around it.  For one thing, the left side of my forehead was numb - that didn't happen on the right side.  Odd.  When I turned my head to the right yesterday afternoon, pain would shoot down from the left side of my nose down to a couple crowned teeth.  Obviously, I didn't do that often last night, but as I check it this morning, it seems to be ok.  I ended up taking a couple tylenol extra strength yesterday over the afternoon - and I rarely need a 'pain pill'.  This morning it feels like a stitch is sticking up against the eyelid ... it comes and goes.  I go to the doctor this morning and they will remove the patch I have over my eye.  I'll discuss it then.  I wonder if I will notice any drastic difference once the patch is removed, as I did with the right eye.  So glad both surgeries are over.  Two weeks from today I go back for the one month check up on the right eye. Two weeks after that, the one month check up on the left eye.  Then I think I'm done for awhile.  I already have an appointment in October... I wonder if I need to keep it after having all this done in between last year and this year's appointments.

Youngest son headed north yesterday with the prodigal granddaughter and her baby and all her things.  He had planned to do a 'turnaround' and come right back.  I was awake numerous times throughout the night, thinking of him driving back alone, and offering up prayers for his safety.  This morning I find a text that he may be staying overnight there as they had snow.  He didn't text again so I'm hoping he did stay overnight.  That's a long trip to make a turnaround.  As the boyfriend left when they arrived, she was able to get all her things and the baby and his things without confrontation.  How I wish I was able to take that baby and raise him myself!  

I managed to do some reading last night - even with one eye.  It was awkward, but not too bad.  I have slacked off somewhat on my reading and need to get back to it.  Grateful I love to read for I can lose myself in a book and forget about issues going on about me.  Got a couple books going now... LOL .... and a couple crochet projects too!  I certainly have enough to keep me busy!  Although both are relaxing for me and I enjoy both.

Oh my goodness - I made a new recipe the other day and it was delicious!  We finished it up last night.  It's 'crockpot enchiladas'.  I told hubby last night that it is something that would be good to have when we have company over.  Easy to fix, and it only takes a couple hours in the crockpot.  Although, I am thinking if I double or triple the recipe for 'company', that I need to bake it in the oven - that would work too.  The crockpot is only to heat up all the ingredients.  The only thing that is cooked first is hamburger.  I wonder if I could substitute chicken and it would be as good... I think I may try that soon.  I'll buy a roasted chicken and tear off the meat and use it.  MMMM that even sounds good!  It shouldn't be much different - and it is so easy to make!

Isaiah 53:5-6 (NKJV):  "But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities; the chastisement for our peace was upon Him, and by His stripes we are healed. All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned, everyone one, to his own way; and the LORD has laid on Him the iniquity of us all."

As I sit here this morning, I am reminded that Sunday is Palm Sunday.  When I was growing up, we remembered Palm Sunday by the children taking palm branches and walking throughout the sanctuary and calling out "Hosanna!  Hosanna to the King of Kings" as a reminder of the day Jesus rode the donkey colt into Jerusalem.  Isaiah 53 tells us what will be happening to Jesus, centuries before it actually happened.  

Jesus is our sacrificial lamb.  So grateful we don't have to make sacrifices like they did in years of old.  Jesus ended the sacrifices with His life.  He was wounded, beaten, his beard torn out from the skin, gashed skin from the lashes.... for us.  He took every lash, every beating, every torn skin from his body, for you and for me.  Our Shepherd.  Taking the 'heat' for His sheep.  Yes, we are sheep and as mindless as they are, we are so much like them in that we also go astray.  We have to stay close to the Shepherd to be taken care of.   Our Shepherd took all the sins we have done, and all the sins we will do, to the cross and He alone bore all the stripes and beatings.... for you and for me.  Without fighting them.  Letting them do whatever to Him.  He took it all, He bore it all.  The greatest sacrifice ever.

"It is finished."  His final words. Jesus gave up His life, to save yours and mine. 

John 15:13 (NKJV):  "Greater love has no one than this; than to lay down one's life for his friends."

And we are friends of Jesus.  Whether we acknowledge Him or not; whether we choose Him or not; whether we live for Him or not.... Jesus died for us.  Why?  Because we are His friends.  Eternally grateful.  God's sacrifice of His only Son.... for us.  I could not give up one of my sons.  Could you?

Take a moment and reflect on the sacrifice that Jesus made for you.  Think about how much your love your son(s).... would you die for them?  (I would, in a heartbeat!)  Would you let them die to save the world?  (that is a much harder decision)  

Make today the first day of your life, and choose Jesus, and thank Him for His sacrifice, to give you life.   I'm so glad I made that decision years ago.  Over the years He has transformed me.  I was a mess when He accepted me.  But I was free the moment I turned to Him.  And you will be too.  Feel the burdens roll off you; accept His grace.  He loves you endlessly, and never gives up on you.

Blessings!

Taking time for a 'short one'....

 I don't have much time to write in here today...but you know, habits are difficult to let go of - or even to 'let slide' even for a short time!  For example, I have been getting up at 4AM for years for work.  I always had the schedule of 4-5AM was my quiet time with God, 5-6AM I showered and got dressed for work, 6AM I was out the door to be at work by or before 7AM.  When COVID hit and I was sent home to work, I maintained that getting up at 4AM and allowed myself more time with God.  I didn't have a drive to make anymore (and I have truly enjoyed that!) and I get more time with God - win-win, right?

Some mornings my 'sleep in' mode kicks in, as you know, and I often snuggle down in to my chair and take another 'nap'.  Then I get mad at myself because I did that!  I wanted to sleep this morning, but knew I didn't dare - what if I slept too long to get ready and make myself presentable for leaving to the doctor's office?

Yes, today is the day for the left eye and I am so ready to get all this surgery over with.  It hasn't been painful; it hasn't been bad.  Only thing I've had to do is cover my eye with a plastic piece the first week at night and put drops in my eyes 3 x day.  Now I have to do that to this eye.  No biggie - and the bonus - I can see better.  Yahoo!!

Happy 32nd anniversary to my middle child and his wife.  Where have all the years gone?  I'm sure they remember good and bad times.  Births of children and of a grandchild.  What a blessing their children are to me!  I'm sure the celebration will be somewhat muted with the death of a pet on Monday; my heart grieves with them.  Daisy was a good dog and occasionally got to come out to visit me.

As I sit here and wonder what I can possibly quickly write and share this morning, I am reminded of the peace of God that fills me.  I am not afraid of what is ahead of me this morning, nor am I afraid of what my future holds.  Why?  Because the future is not in my hands, but in God's hands.  All that I have belongs to Him, and He loves me and blesses me with abundant things.  He hears my prayers and He knows my heart.  I gave Him my heart years ago.  I am 'all in'.

Do you know Him like that?  Are you free of anxiety and fear?  Those are things that the devil throws at you to keep you off balance and your thoughts on other things rather than your loving Heavenly Father.  Satan doesn't want you to think about God and he will do all he can to keep you from it.  Satan will throw bad things - and maybe even some good to throw you off - but he doesn't want you thinking about how good God is.

I love to think of my Heavenly Father, Jesus His Son, and the Holy Spirit.  I wish I thought of Them more!  I live my life for them; not always perfectly, but I seek to be His all the way.  I want to be so emptied that I can only be filled by Him.

Where do you stand with Jesus?  Are you ignoring Him, or seeking Him?  One puts you in the world; the other in Him.  Choose wisely whom you will serve.

Joshua 24:15 (NKJV)  "...... But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord."

Blessings!

What am I going to do about it?

 I've talked about my weight struggles many, many times over the years.  Many times doing this diet fad or that diet fad.... and just as easily as I went on them, I fell off of them.  I am responsible for every pound lost - and every pound gained.  This year I hit my all time high - and I was never pregnant to get there!  That is a sad realization!  I have continued to be so consumed (at times) with my weight that I either say 'the heck with it - I'm eating that ice cream!' or 'whine..... I can't eat that cause just looking at it gains five pounds!'  Oh, woe is me, right? Absolutely not.

I think I've mentioned it before and I truly wish I could find it, but about 30 years or so ago my daughter-in-law, during one of my struggles with weight, gave me a pin that read "You are not what you weigh".  I have never forgotten it.  Silly, isn't it, that a pin handed to me years ago would still be in my mind.  But it has been for years.  I have to keep repeating that to myself at times.  Yesterday was one of those days.

I had gone to David's Bridal a few weeks ago and tried on dresses.  I tried on this one and it fit fairly well, but was too expensive for 'grandmother of the groom' to wear, I felt.  It wasn't one I would ever wear again, I am pretty sure.  So I remembered that size and in my continued search for a dress for the upcoming wedding, I took to David's Bridal website.  I found one, similar to what I had worn to my granddaughter's wedding last year, and bought it in the size I had tried on.  Silly me, thinking it would fit.  I haven't bought a dress for about 3 years, because I haven't been going to the office.  Last time I bought a dress it was a size 12 or Large.  Maybe a 14 depending on its style.  I ordered a 14 from the website.  It arrived.  I tried it on yesterday morning and it fit ...... like a size 18 on this body.... tea length hit the floor, bodice way lower than the photo.  Yeah... it was going back.  

Great customer service from David's Bridal!  I text'd the number they had on the original email and they responded quickly.  Throughout the next hour I was asked questions and I responded.  By the time we were done, I was advised I could take it back to a store here, or mail it back to their warehouse at my cost.  If I wanted them to send me a smaller size dress, they would give me another 10% discount.  Tempting...I almost did it. But, no, I will have to try on whatever I get.  (I still have a dress I bought via Macy's if I run out of time; it can be easily altered)  So at the end of my work day, I headed the few miles to the store and took it in with all the paperwork I had.  Again customer service excelled.  They took the dress and said a refund would be sent as soon as the warehouse received the dress (wherever that is).  No problem; I have all I needed to follow up.  This morning, in my emails, is a notice that a refund has already been put back in my bank account.  Yahoo!

So where am I going with this five paragraph rambling explanation?  On my way to the bridal shop I began to berate myself because I am so difficult to find a dress to fit the way I want it to.  Yes, I'm 'dieting' again (somewhat) - I haven't eaten any chocolate in three weeks!!  No - I'm not fasting for lent and giving up food.  (I gave up facebook, linked in and instagram instead)  But I am watching what and how much I eat and I have lost a couple pounds, I think.  But, the realization of 'it isn't going to happen if I don't make it happen' sunk in.  I talk about watching my food intake and what and how much... and that is a good thing.  I need good food to keep my mind clear and my body feeling good.  But I need to exercise, even if only walking around the block.  I need to quit making excuses and blaming 'others' for why I'm not doing it.  

Losing weight is NOT going to happen; getting this body in shape is NOT going to happen... if I do not take care of it.  I need to lose 50 pounds (do you ever get tired of seeing the doctor put 'obese' on your records?  That has disturbed me for many years!) but I'll settle for a loss of 20 pounds for now, but it isn't going to happen unless I decrease the food calories and type of food, and increase body movement. Sigh.  It's a vicious circle, isn't it?  It really sunk in as I drove to the store... it will only happen if I make it happen.  It's up to ME, not anyone else.   Watching my food intake helps, but exercise makes it happen.

Ok - enough of that rambling.  Sorry if I bored you to death, but it is on my mind this morning.  Perhaps it is so that I will find the time to get on the trampoline or treadmill or go for a walk. I belong the the rec centers here that we pay for (mandatory) so I need to suck it up and just go - right?! Enough, enough, enough! 

Hubby just left to head over for a bone density scan.  Not sure what it is exactly he is getting.... he goes this morning to have a dye inserted.... then goes back this afternoon for an actual test.  He's concerned, obviously.  But this test will determine if he will need to take other measures.  Still waiting on approval from the insurance company on a CT scan to check on his aneurysm... the doctor has appealed.

It's hard getting older, ya know?  Grateful (as far as I know) I don't have a lot of medical issues to face. I know many that do, even younger than me.  Heck, I fought the doctor assigning me simvastatin for cholesterol (and it wasn't even that high - like about 217, maybe.  But, I was 'reassured' it was hereditary and they only gave me 10 mg... or is it mcg... anyway - a small dose - and it dropped it to 147.  I had joked that taking the pill meant I could eat what I wanted cause I had a pill to keep it low.  That didn't go over very well.  It was a joke - not a statement!!

I saw there is a new movie coming out that I may actually want to go see - "His Only Son".  It's the story of Abraham (and Isaac).  Looks like it will be very good.  And I head that "Chosen" season three can now be streamed on the Angel Studio channel on TV.  Guess we will watch that this weekend - we've watched seasons one and two.  It's really good.

And, now I see I have a long, rambling, blog this morning.  Do I need to apologize for that?  It's time for me to get off now and turn the work computer on.  

I may not have time to write in here until late tomorrow.... have to be at the outpatient surgery center at 6:30AM ..... will need to leave here about 5:45AM I'm guessing, to ensure we are there in time.  I always like to be a little early. I expect to be back home by 9AM or so... but I imagine I will go back to sleep for a long nap, thanks to the anesthesia.  I'm actually looking forward to that - I have an excuse to sleep in the daytime!  

So - with that - I'm shutting my computer off.  Have a blessed day!

Blessings!

Interesting book....

 I have heard of this man before, and have seen some books about him, but hadn't read any yet.  Last night when hubby turned the TV off, I quit crocheting and started to read my kindle.  I chose a book I had downloaded about Smith Wigglesworth.  Yes, that is his name.  And Smith was his first name.  He was a real person.  He was a man of God who had such faith and spoke healings over others.  Which is what I am thinking about now.  I am only in the 8th chapter, I think, but it's been interesting.  I read of him going up to strangers and telling them what is wrong with them and prophesying over them.  When healing, he had a dramatic way of praying over someone.  One person had stomach issues and went to him for prayer - he punched them in the stomach and told them they were healed!  And they were!!  Another time a man had cancer sores all over his neck and he wrapped his neck in gauze because the air on them sores were painful.  He went to Smith Wigglesworth for healing - and his neck was slapped - and he didn't even feel it!  He was told to go home and the next morning to take the gauze off his neck.  He did so - and every sore and tumor was gone.  That is MY God doing that!  Smith Wigglesworth was a man who sought after God's heart and would not waver in his faith.  I'm 'enjoying' the book and the ways he healed people - in the name of Jesus - and he never took the glory for it, but gave it all to God.

I love this story that was shared.... "Wigglesworth believed that God has no favorites. He believed all Christians have the potential to grow into strong faith. This matter of favorites was illustrated quite sweetly for us by a Swiss friend of my wife's named Martha.

In broken English, Martha said one day,, "I was cross with Jesus because He had favorites, and I told Him so. He asked me why I said that, and I told Him, 'Because you let John lean on your bosom.' Do you know what Jesus said? He said, 'Martha, all the disciples could have leaned on my bosom. Only John wanted to.'"

What a realization of that is!  As a mother and grandmother I have always said - and will always say - I do not have favorites among my children and grandchildren.  They are ALL my favorites.  Some may get more of my time and attention - but it is because they give me more of their time and attention.  There should be no jealousy among any; as they give, they receive, and I will love each one until I die.  Some think others get special treatment; they don't.  With some the bond is stronger than with the others, because a hug is sometimes more than a hug, a phone call is more than just a call, a note is more than just a note.  Which makes me think with that comment.... I have a special note that I have up on my bulletin board from one granddaughter about something I had given her.  I read it ever so often, and it makes me smile.  I have thank you notes from different ones that I have hung on to for the very same reason.  They make me feel loved.  And they are loved.

I want to be that one who leans upon Jesus' bosom.  I often say I climb up into my Heavenly Father's lap to be comforted... but I love the way John leaned upon Jesus as well.  I hadn't thought of it the way it was shared in the book.  Only John wanted to.  And now I want to as well.

Do you feel a longing in your heart to lean upon Jesus as well?  Do you feel a longing for a grandchild - or child - to come and just lean up against you?  It is such a comforting and loving thing.  You feel the love when they truly lean in to you, when they give you more than the obligatory kiss and hug - if you get that!  I know, boys are less likely to do it, but they should.  Maybe we need to open our arms first, so that they know they are welcome to enter into your arms.  Don't wait until it is too late; time is short.  And for those who we have lost and long to lean into them once again?  Take a moment and close your eyes... picture them... and remember their arms wrapped around you in love and you leaned into them.  Be comforted; feel the love.

Memories are flooding my mind right now.  Sometimes I share them in hopes of making a point.  

A couple months before my mother passed away, I was back to visit and for the first time I stayed with her (at my brother's house where she lived).  That week is full of treasured memories.  I know that I have shared it before.  But I will share it again.  My mother shared things with me that I didn't know.  Some I wouldn't have even thought about.  Some surprised me and made me laugh and go 'MOTHER!' But the one thing she told me that touched my heart more than anything else....  now remember, I was so young when my father passed away that I don't have many memories of him, other than he was so sick and in the hospital bed in our front room.  But mother told me...

"Your dad and I were so much in love.  We could look at each other across the room and know what the other was thinking.  We were connected in such a way that we knew each other's thoughts."

"so much in love."  My mother and father loved each other.  Many times children don't know that - even by word or action.  I had never thought of it before mother said it.  But she made me cry when she said it.  I looked at her with tears in my eyes and told her that was the best gift she could have ever given me, to know that she loved my father, and that he loved her.

To my children... I loved your father.  He was my soulmate and will always be.  I love him still.  There are always two sides to every story... and neither of us were right.  I will always regret what happened between us.  Time can not change the pain I felt.  Nor the pain I am sure he felt.  We both were young and naive....... that is the only explanation I can give.  I'm sorry it ended the way it did.  Please forgive us both.  But know that we did really love each other (there are lots of good memories too).  

Ah... I have gotten off track with my memories this morning and time is getting away from me.  Am I becoming melancholy in my mind?  Perhaps.  I know I was loved; I know I am loved.  You know what helps in letting others know you love them?  Just a quick note, a text, a phone call... that says "I'm thinking of you."  Tell your spouse, tell your child.  Tell your siblings. Tell your parents.  I tell my mom and dad frequently that I love and miss them... and it brings me comfort, for I know that I am still loved by them, although they are gone.  They may not be here in person, but they live through me.

We are products of our parents and how we live our lives is a reflection of who they are/were.  Are we living to bring them honor?

Blessings!

Four days to go - counting today!

 For what?  For getting my left cataract out of my eye.  Yes, I am looking forward to seeing clearly.  But, I did get a notice yesterday that my claim had been processed.  Sigh.  Curious, I signed in to the insurance website.  I am thinking I'll let it ride until after this surgery .... They paid some for my doctor - I may need to pay a couple hundred more than I have already paid... and that's for one eye.... so close to $900 for the 2nd eye I will have to pay, I'm guessing.  But what concerns me, and I didn't expect; they aren't paying anything for the outpatient surgery center.  I may go back in today and relook at everything and send them the question as to why they aren't paying.  It is nearly $700.  At least I will be close to meeting my $1600 deductible and they should pay more.  It is for my eyes - and for me to see - yeah, I'm worth it.  I just hate spending the money!  It's only money anyway - right?  And that is what I have a savings account for and have put money in.  For emergencies.  

So today we go get our taxes filed.... and I have prayed that God will give us increase in a refund.  That we won't have to pay this year.  I am hoping that it will be enough that hubby can pay for his own dental surgery ($1400) that he is to schedule in a month or so.  UGH. I need to quit spending too.  Tighten the belt.  And we should anyway.  Some year I hope to be able to truly retire.  

As for the weekend - I did straighten up my yarn stash.  It took a few hours to go through everything and sort out colors/styles/etc.  And after church, after lunch (and yes, we broke our 'diets' by stopping at Streets of New York and had a thin crust New York Combo pizza.  Oh.My.Goodness... it tasted so good!  I've taken to thin crust more than the pan pizzas anymore.  So good.  Anyway - after we came home, I went to JoAnn's and Michaels to look for a flat long container for my knitting needles.  Yep.  I used a gift card I had received from hubby some time ago  and bought more yarn.  Hey - it was on sale!  I only spent $13 over the gift card so I did good.  I left it in the car though.  It's in two big sacks.  Hubby asked if I bought yarn and I said yes.  I just didn't bring it in.  I'll bring it in when he's busy today :-)  I don't need his comments.  Yes, I still have a lot of yarn... but I have things I need to start on for gifts.  Oh, I decided to make do with a box I found that can hold y knitting needles.

It was a great service at church yesterday, although it went two hours.  I saw that hubby kept looking at me at the end... but I wouldn't make eye contact and made him sit through the altar call and the prayers. It was a good message from a guest speaker.  We hadn't heard her speak before and I admit her style is totally different than what we are used to.  And I knew some of her pacing back and forth and loud talking and some other things, would distract hubby from hearing.  But he said that he couldn't understand all she said - and I agree with that - but I did notice about halfway through the message he put his hearing aids back in.  Music is usually so loud that he doesn't wear them.  It didn't help though.

But the words that keep coming back to me are ones I heard a few weeks ago.  Something like "God can't take you to your future if you can't let go of your past."  Such a true statement.  Sometimes I'll hear comments that make me go hmmmm.

Psalm 62:7 (NKJV):  "In God is my salvation and my glory; the rock of my strength, and my refuge, is in God."

I struggled to stay awake this morning (and I did fall asleep some) as I tried to do my quiet time.  Part of that is my fault this time - we were watching ION on television - and NCIS was going one after another... and believe it or not, there were a couple that we hadn't seen.  At least neither of us remembered them... so we watched until 10PM.  When that one stopped and we saw another was starting, hubby turned the TV off so that we wouldn't be tempted to stay up later.  Yeah, I know, 10PM is not late for some people... but for us who usually go to bed 8:30PM or 9:00PM... yeah, it's late.

But I did get my reading in, and I am reminded how important it is to have faith.  Jesus tells us that 'whatsoever we ask for, we need to have faith it will happen'.  Now mind you, that 'whatsoever' needs to be in the will of God... and you know what I mean by that.  But as I learned this past year as I prayed for my older sister, although I prayed - and believed - for a miracle.... she passed away.  I truly believed that God not only heard my prayer for her healing and restoration, but that He would answer.  And He did answer.  The answer was 'No'.  But it doesn't change my faith nor my belief in my God  Why?  Because my salvation is in Him alone  He is the Rock of my strength, and when I am in pain and hurting with the things that life throws at me, He alone is my Refuge.  

I've prayed for healings and people were healed (not just because of MY prayers, but because others prayed as well).  I've prayed for healings and people were not healed in the way I wanted them to be.  I've prayed for salvations - some happen, some don't.  I continue to pray for salvations and restorations of things.  I even pray for things for myself.  Now you would think that if I pray for myself ... that I can take care of it - right?  No, not always.  My 'don't want to do that' gets in the way - no matter how much I pray that I do such and such.  I have to surrender my will to His and allow Him to work things out and see what His plans are.  My plans are of no value... His hand is upon my life and whether I live or die, whether I stay or I go, whether I work or not - I am in His hands alone.  I complain hubby won't let me quit work..... but God is the One who is truly in control and He has me still working for a reason.  It may be just for my own sanity. :-D

So the next time you are seeking success in something you have planned; when you are struggling with the things of life.... pause and ask God what are His plans for you... and surrender your work; surrender your finances; surrender your family; surrender your very own self to Him.  You will never regret it

Blessings!

Waking at 2AM is not always a good thing...

 Yeah, it was one of those nights - in a deep sleep, only to be awakened at 2AM.  What caused it?  I was thinking of my prodigal granddaughter.  My heart just grieves over her and her behavior, her life.  How I wish I could intervene and get her straightened out.  But she won't even respond to my emails.  My son says she doesn't always get the emails.  Whatever.  So, being awakened with her on my mind, I did what I knew to do - pray for her.   I still couldn't sleep so finally got up at 3AM and came in here and tried to go back to sleep in my chair.  Didn't happen.  Turned the light on at 4AM (now mind you, it's Sunday and I could sleep later!!) to start my time with God.  Hubby gets up and brings in my coffee.  After he leaves - I fall asleep in a deep sleep and dreamt the craziest dream!  Awakened at 5AM I refused to go back to sleep, but started on my reading.  I really did want to go back to sleep, but resisted it.  Now my coffee is gone and I think I need another cup this morning.

I transported Ms. Amy yesterday.  She sure is a hoot.  She called just after noon to come pick her up.  I drive over, and on the way back we stopped to get her premium gas.  She said she has NEVER pumped gas before.  After her husband died, she got someone to come stay with her during the day and she let her drive the car and pump the gas.  So I pumped her gas and we continued on.  She took three hours to go through her things.  She grabbed a couple tops and some jewelry.  Know what took so long?  She showed me her passport and that it had 80 countries in it that she had been to... and then had to show me things she had bought in some of the different countries.  Jewelry pieces that she will probably never wear again from Egypt, Spain, Jerusalem, and many other countries.  At 1:30PM I told her we needed to 'keep moving' and she said 'it's not 2PM yet' - to which I replied I know, but I need to be back home by 3PM and just wanted to remind you of the time.  LOL  We left at 2;40pm I think.  But she got a lot of things she wanted to take back.  She wants me to come have lunch with her one day at the assisted living place. And she wants to take hubby and I out to dinner at a steak place.  LongHorn is not far from her so I'm thinking I will tell her that.  On a weekday it may not be too busy cause we can go around 4:30PM.  Maybe in the next week or so.  She still plans to go to Florida to live in May.  When she does, I will probably never see her again.  But I ca write and call her.

I received my cookbooks yesterday.... and hubby had to make his comments.  I thought they were all soup but they weren't -  one at least was for crockpot cooking (love those!) and the other was a diabetic cookbook.  No, I'm not diabetic, but two of my children are.  I'd like to be able to make food that is good for them - and invite them over sometime to eat!  Hubby commented something about all the cookbooks I have.... why did I buy more?  How often do I use the ones I have?  I didn't really respond for it really wasn't a question.  I wanted the cookbooks, so I got them.  Enough said, right?  I plan to spend time this afternoon going through them and figuring out what I want to make.  I ought to do that daily - grab a cookbook and cook something from it.  But I need to see what all is needed for I don't usually have everything on hand.  And if I do - it's frozen so then it has to thaw out.  Oh well. - I'll figure it out.

Deuteronomy 12:28 (NKJV):  "Observe and obey all these words which I command you, that it may go well with you and your children after you forever, when you do what is good and right in the sight of the Lord your God."

Some people scoff at the Bible and say it is 'old fashioned' to obey and believe the things that God has said.  Why do they say that?  Because they don't want to obey God.  They don't want to 'be told what to do'.  They don't want to allow an 'old book' to tell them how to live.

But they should.  Why?  Because by following what God says to do - and to not do - is for not only OUR protection, but for the protection of our children.  We are responsible to raise our children to know and love our Lord.  I tried, but I was too late, and my example wasn't the best, I think.  I can see it in my children and grandchildren's lives.  God is not important to them; He is an after-thought, if anything at all.  I have confessed my sin to God many times, and I have wept many tears over my children and grandchildren.  All I can do is pray for them and trust that they will eventually see that living for Jesus is the ONLY way.... it may not fit the people around them... but if their relationship with God is right, then He will provide for them and take care of them and their children will come to know Him as Lord of their lives as well.  I have children and grandchildren who chose God at one time... were even baptized... but each one has chosen to go their own way.  They let the world tell them how to live.  I don't always see joy in their lives.  And it grieves my heart, for there is Joy to be found in the Lord.

Oh I know, I talk about my own struggles, my own battles, my own depression at times..... but I will make one thing clear.  I am dependent upon Jesus.  He is the Rock on which I stand, my Firm Foundation.  I know where I would be if I had not chosen to follow Jesus.  And yes, I was raised in the church and allowed the world to pull me away.  But I ran back to Jesus and although I struggle at times with my own resistance to being obedient, I know that Jesus is the only way to success, the only way to prosper, the only way to have true Joy.  He alone is my Hope, my Joy.  And He will supply that to you as well, if you choose to follow Him.

You may think you are getting by just fine right now... but there is an emptiness within that you keep pushing aside... and I pray that one day you will look at that emptiness and understand that only Jesus can fill it.  Not busyness, not people or family, not other things.  Only Jesus.

....that it may go well with you and your children after you forever.... I read a story about a woman who had 12 children, and every day, three times a day, after she fixed their meal, she would go into her bedroom and pray for each child by name, that they would accept Jesus as Lord.  When she died, 7 had become Christians, 5 had not.  At the time of that writing, the last one was the oldest one.  He was in his 70's when his mother died, and he was now 92.  A neighbor had a dream about him, and invited him to church - he went - and was saved that day, baptized the following week.  I think the story said that only two were left that were not Christians.  Where does it stand with you and your child/children?   Are they following after Jesus?  Are you praying for them, teaching them?  Don't think there is plenty of time - one never knows when our time on earth is over.  It could be today.  Where will your child end up?  Where will you end up - Heaven or Hell.  Hell isn't a very nice place and I don't want any of my children to go there.... so I pray for each and every one... calling them out by name before our Heavenly Father, asking for His intervention in their life.  No matter how old you are, you can still follow Jesus. 

I John 1:9 (NKJV):  "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."

You and your children are worth it.

Blessings!

Doing the Saturday 'dance'!

 I love Saturdays!  I can sleep an hour or so later, (sometimes) and I can hang in here an extra hour if I want to.  I love my Saturdays when nothing is planned and I feel inspired to DO something. Well, today really isn't one of those Saturdays, but I do have some 'free' time this morning.

After lunch I will be going over to pick up Ms. Amy.  I will drive her Lexus over as she wants to put gas in it (and it takes only Premium she says.  I told her she can pay for it) and bring her 'home', which is right next door to us.  She only wants to pick up a couple things, and then I will take her back to the assisted living, drive back here and park her car back in the garage.  After that it should be time for us to drive and meet our friends at Top Shelf for a nice Mexican dinner.  But in between all those times, I hopefully can get some things done.  Trying to keep my 'don't want to' at bay.

One more week left in March, can you believe it?  Saturday, I think, is April 1st!  My oh My!  The first quarter - gone!  What have I accomplished this first quarter..... I finished a puzzle.  I made food and gave it away.  (I got an email my soup cookbooks should arrive today!  YAY!)  We took a grandson out to dinner.  We were taken to dinner.  I'm sure there are a lot more things... but I'm not going to sit here and try to remember them all.  What did YOU accomplish the first quarter of this year?

I got my silver hair blended last night ... blended means I had bleach blond added to kind of reduce the sharpness of it. LOL  And it was to be trimmed....but I think he trimmed a bit more than I meant.  But that's ok.  My hair still grows; just slower, I think.  But the best part?  

The man who we gave our Sheeba to came in for a haircut before I left.  He saw me and called me 'stepmom' (to Sheeba).  He told me she has gotten bigger in the last two years; he still takes her walking for two miles every morning and she now weighs 104 pounds.  When he's home, she is always stays close to him.  He says he loves her so much and is so grateful we gave her to him.  I'm so glad she is in a home where she is dearly loved.  In spite of the fact she has eaten one entire Bible and yes, he forgot to put away his new one and she got started on it before he caught her...   there is just something about 'getting the Word in you' that she likes, I guess.   I do miss Sheeba a lot.  He asked if we wanted to come and see her, but I declined as I don't want to confuse her.  He said the first month she would just mope around the house, like why am I here? where are my mom and dad?...  that made me sad.  But, she has gotten used to him and loves him too.  I would love to see her and see her reaction to me; I think she would remember.... but I don't want to confuse her.  So I stay away and hold on to my memories.  I so long for another dog, but will probably never have one again.   LOL  Some day I may have a cat.. but since hubby does not like cats, it will be awhile.  Later last night our 'friend' sent us a photo of Sheeba in his back yard.  She looks so content.

Why does one still grieve after so much time?  We often do that in human terms... but over a dog?  I miss Marley a lot too....  I often think of her and wish she could have lived.  I think I am so much more attached to Marley and Sheeba because - although hubby wanted them for himself - they became my dogs because I took care of them the most.  I walked them the most.  I loved on them the most.  Those two dogs have my heart, for sure.  Marley was so gentle and loving.  Sheeba was so big she rough-housed everywhere she went.  I love and miss them both.  As you remember, we've had many dogs, and had to get rid of them for various reasons.  That bothered me, but not like losing Marley and Sheeba has. 

Ah, there I go, letting my thoughts get to me.... I need to let it go and move on.  It's a new day and it's going to be a beautiful day. I do hope I can get something accomplished.  First of all, I'm sure that hubby is waiting for me to fix breakfast.  He loves breakfast; I'm ok with it - after all, it is food, and I love food.  Bacon and eggs is probably what it will be.  

Maybe I'll defrost the freezer an see what is in there.  I've used up a lot, and I need to figure out what is left in there.  I want to sort through my yarn and get all the brands/kinds/colors together so that I know what I have.  I want to go buy MORE yarn, then tell myself I don't need to until I use up more of what I have.  I only have one big project I want to complete for Christmas... so I do still have several months to work on them.  They will fly by, I'm sure, but should still have time.  Want to clean out my closet; clean out the dresser drawers that are full of things I never use anymore (I'm sure you have some of those as well!) . I want ot clean out the cabinets in the garage again.... still have boxes out there I'm not sure what is in them - and after two years, if I haven't used it, I need to dispose of it, right?  So much I'd like to do.... but you know I won't get it done... definitely not today.  Hubby always seems to put a damper on things I want to accomplish most days.  I can't explain it.  He just does.

Psalm 69:29 (NKJV):  "But I am poor and sorrowful; Let Your salvation, O God, set me up on high." 

Sorrows come and go... it's how long we choose to live there that affects us and everyone around us.  This has been a heavy week with remembering and missing my mama, my big brother, my big sister, and my little brother.  They have been on my mind this week; all of them; thinking of and being reminded of things they said or did.  I felt I was sinking in depression and have fought to not be in the pit.  Missing them is beneficial to me; it keeps them close to my heart.  But allowing my grief and sorrow to overwhelm me where I don't do anything but lay around, is not acceptable.  I have to refocus and get out of the pit of sorrow.  How do I come out of it?

By reminding myself that Jesus is Lord of all, that He sets my feet on solid ground.  He is the One who gets me through each and every day, no matter what comes my way.  It is ok to remember those I love and are no longer here.  That is an expected thing.  But as I heard one pastor say....

"You can not live in your future, if you don't let go of your past."

We can either let the past control all we do and think... our failures, our sorrows, our wickedness - or we can give that to Jesus, and live in our future.  I choose a future.  Sure, there will still be failures, grief, and things happening.... but it is how I choose to get past them and move on.  My Mama, big brother, big sister, and little brother would all want me to think of them occasionally.... but they would never want me to live in my sorrow.  They LIVED... therefore I live in their memories too.

Jesus helps us in ways we don't understand.  He's always there to listen to our hearts.  Let His salvation sweep over you; allow Jesus to set you up on high.  Let go of sorrows and regrets; keep the memories.

Blessings!

Friday already?

 Ah- who am I kidding?  Friday took forever to get here!  It's been a busy week and I'm tired.  I've been given very difficult meetings to schedule and difficult tasks to complete.  And my 'don't wanna do it' rises up and I have to get up and go have a talk with myself.  I don't have an option.  It's not  'I can do it or not' - it's 'I will do it cause it's my job.'  Grumble!  And I'm taking off an hour early today cause I am going to get my hair done!  My hair has become extremely valuable because it looks (in my opinion) like it is about all silver.  My little sister loves to comment on how 'gray' my hair is....  I like silver. :-)  I'm hoping we can blend the bleached blonde/brown/silver together somehow and make it nice.  Plus my hair feels like it is thinning out.... always something.

I didn't sleep well last night as I was thinking about one of my granddaughters who is our prodigal one.  I still can't get past she will leave her baby with her boyfriend for weeks at a time.  Talk was of her moving up north and in with a cousin... she is to take her baby with her... but will it happen.  It was to happen twice this week and didn't.  But... she's 18 and thinks she has all the answers.  She has no clue.  No diploma. No job. Footloose and fancy free.  Sigh.  And yes, I was praying for her and this little one nearly all night because my heart is grieved over her life.  How I wish I was able to take that baby and raise him!  I am heart-broken over her, and over this child.

Went over and visited Ms. Diane last night.  Her memory is getting really bad.  She cracked me up.  Her daughter asked if she had eaten and she said yes.  So the daughter asked what.  Her comment back was tell me what was in the refrigerator and I'll tell you what I ate.  So she started naming a couple things and Ms. Diane goes 'Oh I had the spaghetti!' - and her daughter looks at me and shakes her head; the spaghetti was still in the refrigerator.  Her daughter makes sure she has food before she leaves every night.  I did take over the Texas Chili to her I had made the night before, and I made lentil and ham soup yesterday and took some of that over to her.  I imagine she had some of one of those last night.   I cut up ham and put in the lentil soup so I still have some ham and a ham bone to use - maybe I'll make split pea soup today.  But then, what will I do with the rest of the lentil?  Yet, I don't want to waste the ham bone.  Maybe I'll make the split pea soup tomorrow... we can eat the rest of the lentil soup today.  Can't wait until my new soup cookbooks arrive. :-)

Tomorrow will be somewhat busy too.  I need to call Ms. Amy today; she wants me to bring her over to her house and I told her I'd do it tomorrow.  But - we are meeting friends for dinner at 4PM so need to bring her over here early and get her back earlier than usual.  If she don't like it, she can just wait a couple more weeks.  Her daughters should be coming out in May and start packing up her personal things to take to Florida.  Last I heard was that she still will be moving to Florida in May.  They plan to let the house sit for now... I'm hoping they'll put it up for sale soon.  It has sat empty for a year now.  Can you imagine the dust on all her furniture?  I don't touch anything; just check to make sure everything is ok and bring her mail in.  Which reminds me, I need to check on it and take inside now.  I throw away the junk mail and stack up the rest.  Her son pays everything online but for some reason they won't forward all the mail - although he has put in two forwarding requests.

My eye is recovering well, I think.  I still put the drops in it 3 times a day - two more weeks of that or until it runs out.  It has never hurt, except when I put the drops in it.  I can't wait to get the left one done and just be done with it all.   Next Thursday!

Psalm 143:7-8 (NKJV):  "Answer me speedily, O LORD; my spirit fails!  Do not hide Your face from me, lest I be like those who go down into the pit. Cause me to hear Your lovingkindness in the morning, for in You do I trust; cause me to know the way in which I should walk, for I lift up my soul to You."

I imagine all of us, at one time or another, have had those sinking into despair feelings.  Feelings that are empty, void of emotion, feeling lost and alone.  This is one of those verses that always encourage me when I get in that pit of depression.  Oh yes, I fall into at times as well.  Unfortunately, this has been one of those weeks in which I feel I am clawing my way up out of the pit most of the time.  And there really isn't any reason for it.  It's a lot of little things, a lot of emotions that cause my thoughts to run away and leave me feeling I want to run away.  

It's in those times that I want to sit on the floor, put a blanket on my head, and pretend I am not here.  If I can't see you, you can't see me, right?  Remember when we would play peek a boo with the babies and they would giggle when we would show our face - and we would giggle when they showed theirs?

Well this emotion isn't so much like that - but that thought did pop into my head.  Sometimes life is hard.  I keep a lot of things inside me - yes, although I write a lot of personal things on here, I still hold within a lot of feelings and emotions and words.... and you know very well that you do the same.  You want to say things, but don't want a fight. Or you don't want to hurt someone's feelings.  Or you just need space from someone, but can't tell them that cause it would hurt them.  I know you know what I'm talking about!  

This week has been a tough one... even with seeing my boss Wednesday morning.  Even with seeing Ms. Vicky and Ms. Diane this week - and seeing Ms. Amy tomorrow.  I tell others often 'they need to get a life'... and yet, the reality is that I don't have much of a life either.  Sequestered within this room from 4AM until 4PM with few departures from it.. doing the dinner thing and then sitting on the couch... I have no life.  And it is depressing.  Yes, I have found myself sinking into the pit of depression frequently this week.  But because of work I do have distractions.   I recognize it, and I am clawing my way out of it each time that I realize it.  I.MISS,PEOPLE.  I miss the interactions with others.  I used to say my grandchildren kept me young... but now that they are older... well, they do have lives.  Hubby tries to meet my needs, he really does, although he drives me insane.  

For example, last night (and this is most nights)... after I visited with Ms. Diane a little bit and came back home, sat down on the couch with my crochet... "do you want to watch a movie, watch TV, turn it off, read, or just sit and crochet?"  That is usually the nightly question.  If I say I want the TV off and just have quiet... he grumbles, and then - seriously - he will be on his phone for the remainder of the evening.  Not that it bothers me, in my opinion he could be doing something more productive - like reading a good book!  I have stayed off facebook and instagram and linked in since Ash Wednesday.  A couple times my sister sent me something in messenger and when I clicked on it - it took me to facebook, but I would jump right back off and not watch it.  I don't want the temptation to break my fast and start scrolling.  You know what?  Although I have missed seeing what my family members and friends have posted.... I have gained back so much time that I don't really miss not scrolling and losing an hour or more in the evenings.  I do still play my WWF though. :-)

So here it is Friday and I see it is 6:50AM and I need to sign on the work computer yet another day.  Shaking off the heaviness of my heart, I will focus on the tasks before me today.

Today I am praying you will have a blessed day, free from all cares and struggles.  May the Lord bless you and keep you, may all that you do prospers and makes your way sure.

Blessings!

I still like to play with my eyes...

 It's only been a week - and I'm still comparing my right eye vision to my left eye vision.  I find it funny to see 'white' out of my right eye (on which I had the surgery last Thursday) and see 'cream/beige' out of my left eye (on which I will have surgery March 30th.  It is a stark difference.  It's only been a week, and yet, it seems like I had the surgery so long ago.  

Met up with my boss yesterday for breakfast and our admin meeting, which is what we call it. I attempted to cancel it because it was raining pretty hard out here, but when I checked with her - it wasn't even raining there!  So I prayed that the rain would stop - and by the time I left.... it was a mere drizzle.  Traffic was absolutely horrible and it took me 15 minutes longer than usual to get there.  When my boss arrived, she said it had started the downpour in her area so it took her an hour to meet me as well.  But - we are both worth it.  Took her a jar of bread and butter pickles and she returned two empty quart jars from Christmas.  She says she does that so that they will refilled.  LOL  Christmas she always gets a jar of pickles and a jar of salsa.  They use them in their entertaining over the holidays.  Been doing that probably for 20 years or more.  

Had the start of an interesting dream this morning...  I say start for it was just beginning when my alarm went off to get up.  Sure didn't want to.  The dream?  It was really odd.. my little sister was out here and we were getting ready to travel up the mountains to a cabin to have our own retreat with God.  And then I woke up.  How I would love to getaway and just spend uninterrupted time in God's Presence!  My little sister understands what 'being alone' means.... and I'll hush there.

I did make Texas Chili yesterday and took some over to Ms. Vicky and visited for a bit.  I talked to Ms. Diane a couple times yesterday and will take some over to her today some time.  With her getting weaker and falling, I didn't want to make her open the garage door for me - which won't open now; they had trouble with it yesterday she said... anyway- I'll wait for her daughter to come over tonight and take the chili over to her.  I need to call Ms. Amy today; I am to pick her up on Saturday and bring her back over here.  We have early dinner plans with friends so she will have to come early or wait until another day.  My 'community projects' in process.  LOL

Thinking about making split pea soup today.  Ham bone is thawed out so got to use it.  This is the good part of working from home; I can cook during the day instead of trying to figure out what to fix when I get home - plus we can have dinner over with usually by 5PM and it has time to settle before heading to bed.  And if I cook during the day, I save money by us not going out to eat.  And hubby doesn't 'like' fast food so much when I want to bring it home to eat rather than go in and sit in the dining area.  He has every excuse in the book that we have to eat it there.  Today is pay day so he will probably want to go out for lunch.

James 1:12 (NKJV):  "Blessed is the man who endures temptation; for when he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him."

Sometimes our temptations come quick and fierce, don't they?  Someone does or says something that hits us wrong - or we interpret it wrong - and boom!  We want to lash out and do or say something in response - and many times we may even over-react.  You ever fall in to that category?  I know I have.  And then I have to 'eat crow' and apologize for getting out of sorts.   See, there are two temptations in that.  First - is the temptation to respond in anger or attitude, and the other is the temptation to 'blow it off' and never apologize for being reactive.  I know I have a tendency to shoot out 'attitude' at times with hubby..... and I am learning to keep my mouth shut.  As much as I would love a retort... I know my comment would not benefit anyone - including me.  And, when I hold back my comment, the situation may blow over and then I can explain what was incorrect or wrong..... it's the times when I immediately respond.

Reminds me of last week.  Rarely does hubby let me drive.  His driving makes me nervous most of the time, although I manage to read or crochet/knit so that I don't watch his driving.  (I'm in God's hands and He determines what happens to me - not hubby.  I just don't want to see it happen,)  Anyway - I'm driving and I'm about a 1/2 block away from the light and it turns yellow, so I apply my brakes. Not hard, just firmly, to slow down from 40 mph.  Hubby gasps and puts both hands on the dash.  I am so serious!  Talk about an over-reaction!  I didn't even stop hard!  I kept my mouth shut (with astonishment, I'm sure).  We go eat, and as I'm working my way out of the parking lot he starts yelling "WAIT WAIT"  I do a hard break cause I didn't know if a car was backing out that I didn't see or what.  What was he telling me to "WAIT! WAIT!" for?  A car was approaching from a side lane.  I looked at hubby and asked what the problem was.  He said "It didn't look like he was going to stop".  The car was still 40 feet away from us!!!!  I took THAT opportunity to tell him to stop his over-reacting.  That driver wasn't anywhere near us - and he did stop (I had the right of way) as he should. Then I took the opportunity to comment on his grabbing the dash when I made the stop when the light turned yellow.  Geez.  I told him to 'just stop it'.  Funny - he never did any of that for the rest of the evening!  Nor has he done it when I have driven with him in the car again.  What was that all about?  I reminded him that I don't do that to him, and I do not appreciate him doing it to me.  I may 'put my foot down on the brake' at times; I may do a quick gasp and close my eyes.   But I don't over-react.  And I don't appreciate him doing so.  Silly things to get upset about, right?  Making dramatic comments won't change the situation. Point I'm making is that I didn't say anything the first time.... but the second time, I was able to calmly tell him I did not need his over-dramatic over-reacting behavior.  Interesting it all stopped when I 'called him out on it'.

Point is - don't be so quick to call out other people when the temptation arises.  Hold your tongue; there may be a valid reason.  Some times we need to look for it.  Don't let our irritability (if that is the case) fall onto others; resist the temptation to make a 'smart aleck' comment.  Instead, look for ways to praise and encourage.

When we love Jesus and choose to follow Him, we want to live as Jesus lived.  We want to 'walk in His steps'.  Keeping our mouths shut and resisting the temptation to respond to others; watching our behavior that it doesn't offend others.  These are things that we can control.  If it's difficult, ask Jesus to help.  He's always willing to help us through the tough people, difficult circumstances.  Trust me, I know.  

Blessings!

I ate the chicken and okra....

 cause I love fried chicken... and I really love fried okra.  My mama could cook the best fried chicken you ever tasted.  Seared in an iron skillet in Crisco and then temperature turned down and lid put on and that chicken was allowed to cook to the best crispiness and oh my goodness, there was nothing like it.  I know some of my children think of biscuits and gravy when they think of my mama... but I always think of her friend chicken.  Fried okra.. mmm... okra sliced and rolled in cornmeal and fried... oh yeah.  Mama knew how to cook it.  Oh course I rarely fry foods at all anymore... and use my air fryer more often than not.  In fact, my cooking skills are getting less and less it seems.  But.... did I tell you I ordered 4-5 soup cookbooks from Thriftbooks?  Most, if not all, are Taste of Home.  I love their cookbooks.  These are all for soup... I'm wanting to make different kinds of soup.  There is just something comforting about soup on a cool/cold day.

But for today, I'm not thinking of soup - but Texas Chili.  I think I have everything and will see if I progress towards that goal this afternoon.  Or late morning.  I am meeting up with my boss this morning for our breakfast meeting.  I won't be hungry for the rest of the day, probably, but if I get it made, can run some over to Ms. Diane and Ms. Vicky.

Oh - called Ms. Diane and talked with her yesterday.  She had fallen yesterday, which is why her children and a nurse was there.  I encouraged her again to go in to an assisted living, and promised I would visit her if she would go.  Bless her heart, I love her to pieces, and hope she will make the plans to go.  She's worried about all her things.  I reminded her she can't take it with her when she dies, and if she has things she wants others to have, tell them to take it now.  The rest is just 'things'.  She agrees.  But will she do it.  I get it.  I'm attached to a lot of things I have too, but I'm learning to 'let go'.  I came in to this world with nothing, and I will leave with nothing.  These are just things.

I finally finished the puzzle I got for Christmas and decided I would pull out one I was given a few years ago.  I hadn't even opened it yet.  It's a photo of me sitting in a red convertible that my big brother still has.  He even says it is my car.  It's mine whenever I go to Indy.  But I don't usually go get it, but do a rental cause we are usually all over the place... the car has to sit outside.... but I don't make a big deal of it cause the one year he did let me drive it while in Indy, he gave hubby instructions he was NOT to drive it... it was MY car, and only I could drive it.  Needless to say, hubby was furious.  But I drove it everywhere we went.  Anyway - the puzzle - my brother had it made for me from the photo.  It's pretty cool.  It's now on my table being sorted out by colors.

I hear the rain falling pretty good this morning.. and yes, it was raining yesterday when I commented on it.  Now I'm praying that it will stop when I head to the restaurant - it's about a 45-50 minute drive on a good day... driving with some of the people who don't know how to drive in rain can be somewhat unnerving.  I understand there was a 5 car accident right next to us yesterday morning... hubby said he couldn't figure out what happened, but my guess is people were sitting at the light and one person either wasn't paying attention and tried to stop too late... and rammed the car in front, which hit the one in front, etc.  I don't know - didn't see it - but understand it wasn't pretty.  That's what happens when you move to an 'old people's area' as well... our reflexes aren't as good.  But when hubby stops for a red light half a block away from the light... that annoys me.  LOL

Ephesians 6:10-11 (NKJV):  "Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil."

Every day we need to put on the whole armor of God so that we can stand against the wiles or thoughts of the devil.  We need to put on the Belt of Truth.. to stand for what is right and to speak truth.  We need to put on the breastplate of righteousness.  We need to put on our feet the gospel of peace.  We cannot forget our shield of faith, that it will stand against and block the enemies tactics to take us down.  We need to put on our heads the helmet of salvation.  And we need to take the sword of the Spirit - the Word of the Lord - and be ready at all times to share His word with others.  Oh that this world would see that only our Heavenly Father's way is best for them!

Why do people run so far away from Him when He loves them so much?  God, in fact, loves you so much that He gave His Son for you.  Can you even imagine giving up your son or daughter to save the world?  I don't even want to think about it!  And yet, His love for us is so great; that is what God did for you and me.  

Jesus came with one purpose.... to die.  To be our sacrifice.  To be our redemption.  To set us captives to sin FREE.

Are you free?  Or does the enemy still hold you captive in his evil schemes?  Put on your armor and fight!

Blessings!

The HumilityTour

 What in the world is that, you wonder?  I have no idea, but the idea kind of scares me, wouldn't it you?  I don't know where that came from in my dream... I'm going to think I had a few dreams last night, for the dream that I woke up with remembering, isn't one of humility.  It wasn't a nice dream and I am trying hard to remove it from my mind and not think about so, so that I don't remember it.  It was abusive and stupid. I have no idea where it came from.  But the words The Humility Tour came at the beginning of that bad dream.  So did I dream before of something - or are the words telling me something is coming that will cause me great humiliation?  Is the thought even for me?  I don't know.  It was just all so weird.

Enjoyed a good dinner with my youngest and his wife last night.  Bubba's 33 - we hadn't eaten there before and I had to go look at the menu before we went so that I'd have an idea of what I'd get.  I still didn't.  It all looked so good!   I ended up with a 5 oz salmon over rice and a side salad.  I kid you not - that side salad was pretty big and I wasn't hungry at all after I ate it (I got it first) but did manage to eat the salmon - then had to just quick stop quit.  My stomach would not take any more in.  And they had diet coke.  I just can't drink pepsi.  I was a happy camper.

Hubby and my son both got the signature ribeye - I understand it is soaked in expresso which gives it a really good flavor - I took a bite of hubby's - and wow - it was good.  I could not believe hubby ate all his (it was huge - nearly filled the entire plate!) plus mashed potatoes, gravy, and coleslaw.   My son could only eat about 1/2 of his steak, and his wife got a double hamburger with lots of toppings and onion rings. She didn't eat but a few bites.  I ate one of her onion rings and it was so good - not greasy like some are.  The hamburger was huge - I couldn't have eaten it all either.  Price-wise - it wasn't bad at all.  I would say it was like many others.   The steaks they chose were $25.99; my salmon was $15.99... I don't remember the hamburger cost but similar to mine, I think.  All in all, a great meal and we had a good time.  I would go there again, although it was noisy even at 4:30PM because spring training had just let out and it is across the street from the restaurant so many people went over.  It was pretty full.

My eye is still doing well and I can't wait to get the left eye done.  I still have a small bruise under my right eye, which is from the shots, I'm going to guess - or perhaps they had to clamp my eye open?  I don't know and don't need to know!  I'm grateful I was totally out as far as I was concerned to the entire surgery.  So grateful for that.  I've heard of people who just had the eye numbed and they "watched" all that happened.  No thank you. 

It sounds like it is raining outside.  Too dark to peek outside.  I thought it was to start tonight.  Maybe I hear the sprinklers?   Hmm. now it doesn't sound like it.  Am I hearing things?  I kid you not, this past week I have heard things that I hadn't before ... noises from the duplex net door.  I had hubby go with me one day last week and we went through the entire section to see if anything was amiss - it was not.  This morning I again thought I heard like water running (again)... I may get hubby to go over with me again when he gets back from bible study.  I only hear it when I get up in the mornings at 4AM and am in my bathroom.  That is what is so weird.  I come in here and hear nothing from the other side. 

Which reminds me, I am to go pick up Ms. Amy this Saturday and bring her to her house for awhile.  Not sure what is going on across the street with Ms. Diane.  When we came back from dinner, all three of her children were there... on a Monday night... which makes me nervous.  I will call her today to see if she is ok.  Were they talking to her about going to an assisted living?  She has agreed to go, for I have talked to her about it numerous times as well.  She really can no longer take care of herself and she has literally quit eating except for when someone brings her something  - and she is a diabetic.  She has lost so much weight she looks like a skeleton, even with her clothes on.  I hope she is ok.  I've come to love these women, and Ms. Vicky next door too.  I need to call and check on her as well.   I call them all my 'community project'. LOL

Our cleaning people are coming this morning and of course we straighten things up before they get here. I empty my waste baskets and pick things up off the floor.  Oh wait - I can't do that yet! LOL Hubby will just have to come in here and do it ... or I can get down on my knees and move things.... and then hope I can get back up!  Actually, this room and my bathroom aren't that bad.  And I get all my yarn projects together in the front room. I'm actually real excited in that over the past two-three days I have finished 3 baby blankets and a two-three dishcloths!  I usually have a half-dozen or so projects going on at one time.  Ugh - just remembered I really should straighten up that desk in the exercise room - it has become the catch-all for a lot of things.  

Anyway- my projects - I start one thing and then need to start another... until I have several going.  I decided I needed to finish up some... and have done so.  I still have about 5 projects I can see in here .. I'll get to them eventually.  Sometimes I just need to work on another color!

Jeremiah 17:7-8 (NKJV):  "Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, and whose hope is the Lord. For he shall be like a tree planted by the waters, which spreads out its roots by the river, and will not fear when heat comes; but its leaf will be green, and will not be anxious in the year of drought, nor will cease from yielding fruit."

I love reading the biographies and the stories of men and women who believed in God and trusted in Him alone.  They inspire me, and give me strength for the journey ahead of me.  I know my life past has been full of ups and downs, and I'm sure my future paths will be as well.  But I want them to be strengthened as a tree planted by the waters, because I trust in the Lord.

Why do I trust in Him?  Because He has proven to be all that I need.  When I have fallen flat on my face, He is the One who picks me up and sets my feet on solid ground.  When our finances and been so bad I didn't know what to do, when I cried out to Him, He has always provided just what we needed to get us through that rough patch.  When I needed a friend, He provided those.  When I needed an outlet to share my thoughts, my feelings, my emotions... like I do right here.... he used my son to set this blog up for me.  See, you didn't really think about that, did you?

I have always loved to write.  I wish I could pull thoughts together to do what I love to do... maybe if I ever retire before I die I will sit before my computer and ask God to give me words to write.  I didn't know it when my son offered to set this up for me, how valuable it will become to me to write my thoughts out..  Oh I still use journals, but not like I did before. I use my journals now mostly for prayers versus all my thoughts and feelings.  But this blog has served - and does still serve - its purpose of allowing me to ramble, to share my heart, to share God's Word and what it means to me.  Thank you, son, for setting it up for me.  It has been a 'life-saver' of sorts.  And, you have a true 'journal' of my life, don't you?  My ups and downs, my angst, my hopes, my dreams.

But out of all of it, I want to show that Jesus is my All in All.  I can not do life without Him.  I tried and I made a big mess of it.  Only when I asked Him to be my Lord and Savior could I survive the mess I had made of my life.  I am a better person because of who He is.  I love Jesus with all my heart, soul, mind and strength.  He leads me through still waters.  He restores my soul.  I trust Him with my very life, the journey I am on, the prayers I pray.  He is the only answer.

Blessings!

Was it the coffee, tea or nap?

 Guess who didn't sleep much last night?  Yep - I tossed and turned nearly all night; I did fall asleep in here for a little while but don't know how long.  And I'm still tired.  So what's with the title?  I had my usual cup of coffee when I got up.  After hubby left for church, I fixed myself a flavored cup of coffee and settled back in my chair to watch our church service.  When hubby came home from church, I had hoped he would stop and pick us up something on the way home, but he did not - and I didn't fix anything for lunch.  So I suggested KFC and he was all for it - so we went there for lunch and I had two glasses of ice tea.  When we came back home, I was really tired (was that residue from the surgery still cause I had slept well the night before) or what.... so I slept deep for a good hour, I'd guess, although I didn't think I slept.  Hubby of course said that I snored so he is sure I slept.  Sigh.  Why is it everyone likes to comment on my snoring?  When I do it, that is one thing... but to be continuously reminded is disturbing.

Anyway, we did a 5 hour marathon of NCIS on ION.  I do enjoy the NCIS series.  Actually saw 2 or 3 that I had not seen before - or if I have, I had forgotten them.  We finally turned the TV off around 9PM and headed to bed.  I knew I was still 'awake' but thought once I settled in bed I would fall asleep.  I was wrong.  I was wide awake and tossed and turned nearly all night, it feels like.  And it's Monday. UGH. 

We are to go out to dinner with the youngest and his wife tonight.  They asked for last Thursday, but since that was the day of my surgery, we declined and he called and asked for tonight.  It will be fun to get cleaned up to go out and be with other people.  I couldn't put on makeup until today... and I probably will still skip the eye makeup I generally wear.  I still can't get over the different shades when I close one eye - so drastically different.  Can't wait until March 30th when I can have both colors the same!

My biggest forgetful part is DO NOT BEND OVER.  The doctor had said to keep my head above my heart - I guess so that gravity doesn't pull the new lens in my eye off?  I dunno - and I've tried to be conscious of it - but I have bent down several times (catching myself as I do it!) to pick something up that I dropped.  A couple times I was bending down to the couch to move something and hubby was telling me "don't bend over" as I did so.  I sure didn't realize how often I do that.  Sure, I could squat and pick it up - which is what the doctor told me to do.  But the problem with that is.............. if I squat, I can't always get back up on my own.  Quit laughing!  You know exactly what I'm talking about!  It's like the legs are frozen in the squat position and they will not give you any leverage up.  It happened to me a few times in the office... talk about embarrassing!  I had to find something to pull myself up to get up!  So I try not to squat.  I suppose I should do leg exercises to help?  It's lunges, right?  Probably not going to happen.  I lunge and still can't get back up - if I can keep my balance!

What is this with our crazy weather lately?  It was finally a beautiful day the other day, and yesterday was cloudy and cool.  I love our sunshiney days.  I know several do not like the heat, but I'm inside all day so getting to go outside one in awhile to 'breathe' is wonderful.  

Colossians 1:9 (NKJV):  "For this reason we also, since the day we heard it, do not cease to pray for you, and ask that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding."

Some of you know that I pray daily for you; some of you know I agonize in prayer for you.  But it has nothing to do with me.  Some of you may or may now know how your children have prayed for you over the years.  How do I know this?  Because I spent time with your children when they were younger. I took them to church on Wednesday nights, for one thing... and they would often share things as we talked.

One grandson, as we were driving to or from church, made a comment that touched my heart.  Now I dearly love ALL my grandchildren... but some have that special connection.  Shall I share the story? My mother had recently died, so we are talking back to 2004.  The grandchildren were all asking questions about their 'Great-Grandma Hanky' and I was doing my best to answer, without breaking down in to tears.  Then one grandson shared this... "But you can have joy, grandma, because you will see her again in heaven."  Such wise words from such a young man! Oh how he touched my heart that day!  

Do you know of that joy - that some day you will see your loved ones in heaven?  Not everyone will go to heaven; but those who love Jesus, and have accepted Him as Lord and Savior.  Do you have loved ones in heaven you are longing to see again?  Will they be standing at the door to greet you.... waiting for you?  

I remember a dream I had shortly after my mother passed.  She was in her mid-40's ... and I was on one side (as a small child of about 6-8) and my little sister was on the other side (again as a small child) and we each had mother's hand... and we were running through a beautiful field of wheat, laughing and enjoying the blue skies, sunshine, and joy.  It was a beautiful dream.

What would your dream hold?  

Blessings!

I'm staying home today.....

 and I think hubby is still going to church.  I will watch church online today.  Maybe a couple services; I can get Jentezen Franklin at 8AM, and then Pure Heart Peoria at 10AM.  Win-win - right?  Hopefully I will learn something?  Hmmm - that should not be a question mark. Sigh.

I did pretty much finish up my part of the tax info I needed to provide to hubby.  I worked on it about 4-5 hours, I think, sorting through the receipts I had in my folders, double checking receipts against my list from the checkbook to make sure I didn't duplicate.  Our medical expenses this past year is higher than before because of all the dental surgery we had - and this year it will be high because of my eye surgery (and paying out to meet my deductible) and hubby having a wisdom tooth removed (that alone is $1400!!).  Our ministry expenses are high tis year as well as I am claiming the airfare and car rental when I went back for my sister's funeral. Yes, I would have gone back anyway, but I did officiate her funeral and I can therefore claim it as an expense.  I'm not claiming every single detail of things... but am justifiably claiming what I'm allowed.  Hubby seems to be having confusion and difficulty of pulling it all together, which concerns me, but he will not allow me to touch anything he is working on - which is the joint checkbook and his expenses.  And he did have a lot of medical expenses last year and doctor appointments with the aneurysm surgery and prostrate issues.  It's a 'bear' getting old, isn't it!

Now where did that saying come from?  Hmmm I decided to google it.  Oh my!  The first definition of 'it's a bear' is "something that is difficult or unpleasant to do or deal with".  Ok, I get that - and that is the term I use it for.  But going further down definitions, it certainly changes its meaning! 

I'm wishing this morning that I had more time to read, more time to do other things.  Yes, I do crochet a lot and knit occasionally, usually while the TV is on. (see, I CAN do two things at once!)  But I'm getting the itch to do other things too.  Like (my continuous thought is to declutter but I have to be selective when I do this so that I don't have hubby monitoring me) straightening up the bookcases and getting the books in author or alphabetical order.  Every time I mention it, hubby grumbles about the mess in HIS office.  If I could send him away for a week or so, I could get so much done around here!  LOL  Hmmm. What else would I like to do.  Oh yeah.  Read.  But, then I can't physically get other things done.  I'd like to sew but it's been so many years, I think I need a refresher course at a sewing shop.  Wouldn't that be fun to do!  I checked in one place nearby one time - they wanted $75/hour to show me how to sew.  I paused on that thought!

I want to do more creative cooking.  I enjoy cooking and used to enjoy trying new dishes, new recipes, but anymore, with it just being hubby and I, I don't even bother.  I think about cooking and inviting others over, but then hubby and I can't agree (always) on whom.  And then, what do I fix?  I always have these grand ideas of this or that... but I settle back down on the couch with my crocheting and keep quiet.  I need to get a life, I guess.

Galatians 5:22-23 (NKJV):  "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering (patience), kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control.  Against such there is no law."

Most of us can think of people who have those qualities, or most of them, can we not?  I TRY to have all those traits, those qualities, in my life, but I know I often fail.  My patience can at times wear thin... and my self-control... well, you know my issues with food!  Although sometimes my self-control fails me when my mouth blurts out things I should bury.  I bet you do that too!

But those are the things we need to bring to Jesus and ask Him to help us.  I like what Mark Batterson wrote in his book Draw the Circle.  

"Quit talking to God about your problem and talk to your problem about God."

What does that mean?  Quit praying all the time about the issue, thinking that God is going to take care of it without any effort from you.  Instead, tell that problem, that issue, that our God is bigger than that relationship, bigger than that financial, bigger than that deadline... our God is bigger than any of these things and when we bring it to God and ask Him to help us with what we need to do to overcome it - speak to that problem or issue and learn to say "I'm sorry this happened" or "Can we start over" or "I will not add to expenses for something that won't last" or "let's focus on getting that expense paid off"... there are so many issues and problems that we all face - many are so different that one can not address them all.  I definitely have my own relational and other issues to deal with, as you know, for I have shared many of them in the past.  

And for many of them, God has helped me let go of things; let go of hurts; let go of issues; and work on the things that matter.  Some things will take time.  Others are (or will be) resolved easily enough when I let my pride go, let go of my "I am right" attitude.  Which is one reason we also have separate checking accounts - he takes care of the joint account, and I have my personal account, which comes in to play when he runs short.  We don't agree on things; surprisingly, right? - he insists on spending more time than is needed on checking and paying bills.  For example, he has always mailed our mortgage payment in, although it can also easily be done online.  Our mortgage was recently sold to another bank.  That bank happens to be down the road from us.  Again, he refuses to do it online.  He actually made a trip down to that bank last week and asked if he could bring our mortgage payment down there and pay it in person.  Now if you can explain the purpose of that....  sigh.

Sounds like I need to 'talk to this problem about my God' huh!  Some things are only a problem for me. If going down to the bank to pay our mortgage in person is comforting to hubby, I guess I just need to keep my mouth shut.  If I can ever get him to relinquish the bills to me, it will be paid online, for sure! And not on the day it is due! (that part annoys me)

Anyway - now I'm back to my wordy rambling so will hush.  It's Sunday; hope you are getting ready for church, or at least ready to watch it online.  Free Chapel/Jentezen Franklin comes on at 8AM.  Those messages are always amazing.  Love how God uses him.

Have a blessed day - take a moment to bless someone today - you'll be glad you did.

Blessings!

I can't believe the difference!

 I went back to the doctor yesterday for the one day follow-up.  They took the bandage off the eye and added some drops.  They did some testing on what I could see out of the right eye - pressure is great; and vision is 20-30.  I don't know what it was prior.  Anyway, they had me go sit in the lobby until the doctor was available to look at my eye.

As I sat there with the bandage off, I'm trying to get a 'feel' for what is different.  I'm having a blurred flash on the right side of my peripheral .... I wonder about that; is that normal?  Is it just getting the new lens in my eye adjusted and in place?  As I sat there looking around the hallway, I put my hand over my left eye and look only through my right eye - and things seem so bright and clear.  I put my head over my right eye, and everything looks dingy gray.  What?  I do it again.  The right eye shows the wall a beautiful bright white.  The left eye shows the wall a dingy gray color.  Oh.My.Goodness!!

It's like looking through a muddy glass... I now understand what people NEED cataract surgery!  If you are ever told you need cataract surgery - schedule it immediately!  

In fact, after the doctor came in and examined me.... he commented he could not do the other eye - whenever I was ready for it - but no sooner than two weeks.  I said "Great! Let's get it scheduled!"  So I am scheduled to have my left eye cataract removed on March 30th.  I.can't.wait.  I still cannot believe the difference in the lighting - it's like day and night.  

The blurred vision on the right continued and soon began to get spaced throughout both eyes... yep.... my silent migraine appeared.  I've had a dull ache between the eyes since the surgery so I kind of figured it was from that.  But the jagged lines attested to the fact that my head was doing its thing again. I took an Ibuprofen.  After about 20 minutes the jagged lines went away, but the dull ache remained somewhat.  

I finished a puzzle that I have been working on for some time... I was beginning to think I was missing pieces when it finally came together.  Hubby had the TV on, of course.  He really does need to get a life.  When I finished the puzzle I sat down and started to crochet.  Hubby asked if I wanted to watch a movie... I said no... I wanted quiet.  Usually he doesn't say anything, but last night he went off on me about 'how can I sit in the office all day by myself 'quiet' and still want quiet at night!  He doesn't get it.  I don't want to 'think'.  I just want to be alone with my thoughts... that are not of work.  After a short while I went on to bed... and he stayed up to watch his precious TV.  It's either his phone, his computer, or TV.  sigh.

I have already put my drops in the right eye for the start of the day.  3 x day x 4 weeks - or until I run out.  No make up for 4 days.  Don't rub the eye (that part is hard - I find myself reaching up frequently to rub it).  Keep water out of the eye if I take a shower or wash my hair.  Wear the guard over my eye for one week at night to keep me from rubbing it in my sleep.  Do not bend over. Keep my head about my heart. Do not pick up anything over 10 pounds.  Don't. Don't. Don't.  Do you realize how many times we do things automatically without thinking about it?

 I took an extra strength tylenol when I went to bed last night - slept all night without waking up at all - until 3:53AM.  I thought about what day it was, and decided I could sleep a bit longer... but sleep escaped me so got up about 30 minutes later.  I love it when I can sleep through the entire night without interruption.  I don't even mind the early waking up as long as I've slept all the way through.

Need to figure out a grocery list today and pick up some things.  I want to clean out my closet.  I need to clean out dresser drawers.  I need to sort through all my costume jewelry.  So many things I really do want to do - but I can't do them because .... well... let's just say it has nothing to do with my surgery.  My life is not my own and someone always wants to control what I do.

Oh yeah.  Taxes.  We meet with our tax guy on the 27th.  I've gotten a start on my stuff... reckon I should finish it today and give to hubby.  I think I can do that; I've gone through my checkbook and the credit card so know what I charged or spent on medical, etc.  Now to sort it all out and figure out mileage for prescriptions and doctor visits.  THIS year I will have a lot with having this surgery.  But need to work on last year first.  Every year I always say I will write everything down as it happens... and I never do.   I know I always miss a lot of donations, but trust God to make it right.  Hubby has already put a 'curse' on it by saying "I feel we are going to have to pay this year".... well, I don't.  I'm not going to 'own it'.  I love that we just take totals in to the CPA and ten minutes later our taxes are done and we know what we need to pay or what we will get back.  I think we did pay Federal last year.. but it is what it is.  But got enough back from State to cover it.  Need to work on that today.

Psalm 23:3 (NLT):  "He renews my strength. He guides me along right paths, bringing honor to His name."

I like to look at different translations of the Bible to see how a verse is changed - or not.  As I looked at Psalm 23:3, most of the translations are He restores my soul or He restoreth my soul or He renews my life....   but I kind of like how the NLT says it today.  "He renews my strength."  Life has a way of throwing punches at you - sometimes so often that you don't even realize you have been hit until later.  You shrug off the hurt and the discomfort.  You push aside the pain that is felt, until you think it is but a dull annoyance.  But it remains.  And if you sit quietly, sometimes that thought brings back the pain anew, and buries itself deep within the recesses of your heart and mind.  You try to push it out again, but find it just keeps coming back.  But God.

I find that when those times come to my mind; when the pain of living gets almost unbearable, when the hurt of rejection and domination overcomes... when I run to Jesus and tell Him all about it, He renews my strength for yet another day.  He takes the pain of my struggles; the hurt in my heart, the injustice spoken or done, He takes it and guides me along His paths of righteousness that sets my feet back on solid ground.  My soul is renewed and refreshed when I spend time with Him and His Word.  He speaks to me through His Word of life.  Oh how I wish I could get you to understand His faithfulness - even when we are unfaithful!  His grace covers me; His precious grace covers you.  I am lost without it. And so are you.

Let Jesus renew your strength today.  Let Him guide you along the right paths, bringing honor to His name.  Only He is worthy.

Blessings!

It went well.....

 It all happened so quick.  I got there; 5 minutes later I was called up to review my paperwork and sign a few more. 5 minutes later another person took me to a room where there put about 6 (no, I am not making that number up!) different kinds of drops into my eye, explaining what each one was to do.  About 5 minutes later, the doctor came out and got me and took me into another room where he did a couple of drops into the eye and had me go to a machine where he snapped lots of visuals of my eye.  Then he said in 30 minutes they'd be back to check my blood pressure to see if it spiked due to all the different drops - only 5 minutes later the nurse came out and got me!  Laying on the bed, she hooked me up to oxygen in the nose, a blood pressure cup on the right arm, a oximeter on a finger, and an IV in the left arm.  Ooops, she 'blew out' a vein in my hand so put the IV in my wrist.  The anesthesiologist was very nice, came over and said he was going to put something in my IV and I would feel warm and fuzzy.... and the next thing I knew, I was waking up and being told I was ready to leave.  My eye is patched and the nurse helped me to the car.  

After waking up though, knowing I had to be thirsty, I was offered soda or water.  For an unknown reason, I opted for the soda and you know what - it tasted so good to this parched throat!  Only one sip of water for my pill yesterday morning had left me pretty dry!  And no food since dinner had left me hungry.  We stopped on the way home to pick up food and headed home to eat - after which I laid down and slept for almost three hours - I'm talking a deep, deep sleep.  Guess it was the anesthesia wearing off?  Or the 'excitement' of the morning was done?  Of course hubby was asleep in his chair when I woke up.  All in all, I am sitting here with a patch still over my eye.

As you know, sometimes the corner of our eye will itch when it has some sleep in it... I'm talking about the outside corner of the eye... well, of course it is the one with the patch on it that I can't rub out... but it sure is itching this morning!  I go back to the doctor this morning for a follow-up and I think he removes the patch and leaves it off.  I will get this 'cup' to put over my eye at night for the next week, plus I remember he told me to put these drops in my eye four times a day for four days.  After today, I go back in one month.  I know I won't see perfectly. I know I will still wear my glasses.  I'm just hoping to see a bit more clearly.  Then will think about the left one.  Especially since I know now what to expect, and it isn't as bad as I imagined it would be.  My eye has not hurt at all.  I was told the numbness would wear off in about six hours and since it is long past that, I am believing it will be ok. 

I didn't do much reading this morning as it is difficult to read with one eye - although do-able.  So I' have spent a lot of time praying and doing some 'shut-eye'.... I slept deep last night, which was surprising with the deep sleep I had in the afternoon.  But, it is soon time for me to get up and get my work computer turned on and clear messages.  With one boss on PTO and the other who has given me permission to take whatever time I need to rest today, I will clear my messages and keep up on them, but any 'real' work I can take it easy on.  Last time I checked I had 60 messages; but most aren't for me.

Psalm 23:1-3 (NKJV):  "The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me to lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still waters. He restores my soul; He leads me in the paths of righteousness for His name's sake."

It is in this time of healing, He causes me to lie down in green pastures.  He leads me beside the still waters.  He restores my soul.  May you know that Peace that comes from Him alone.

Blessings!