Did I really complain about sleeping yesterday morning?

 I went to bed at my usual time last night - and was awake at 1:38AM this morning.  After tossing and turning until around 3:30AM or so, I finally gave up and got up.  I'm sure I dozed some in between those two hours - but seriously, sleep felt like it eluded me.  I came in here, hoping to sleep in my chair, but alas, that was fruitless as well.  I may need to sneak in a nap later this afternoon.  I have no clue as to what is messing with my sleep.  The only caffeine I've been getting is from my tea in the mornings.

Taking a tablespoon of olive oil daily is something I'm not really interested in, but I have been intrigued with two couples we know.  Actually, three couples.  They are 'our' age range - either above or just below. No, wait, I am the youngest of all of them! LOL Anyway - the couple we played 'spades' with (that was fun!) last weekend was telling us about it.  A certain kind of olive oil - she sent me a photo and a note, but I haven't read it yet.  I guess two of the men (one has had cancer two-three times now) were a bit unstable walking and tired, and foggy (you know what I mean - just like I am every morning) - and some doctor (Dr. Gundy? LOL) told them to take two tablespoons of olive oil - cold pressed, I think it is - and it will change things.  Surprisingly, it has!  The one with the previous bouts of cancer is out taking long walks every day, feeling energetic (I think he is in his upper 80's) and moving about more than he has in years!  Should I/we try it?  The thought of pouring oil down my throat does not appeal to me.

But it does remind me of when I was pregnant with my first child.... I was past the due date.  Brother in law was coming home from college.  We all wanted the baby to arrive.  Mother in law talked me into taking castor oil in a glass of orange juice.  HAH!  The only thing it did was clean me out!  It took me YEARS before I could drink orange juice again without feeling the oil sliding down my throat.  YECK!

Work was really busy yesterday and one of the doctors who does a presentation during our board meetings gave me a task that I had no clue what she was talking about.  I finally asked for help - and I think I got a response after I signed off.  Will see this morning.  I don't support this doctor, but it is 'my' board meeting so she is making me create this slide for her.  My 'don't want to' keeps getting in the way of 'you have to'. Sigh. I wanna retire.  Or at least set a date to retire.

I've discovered the past two days that I am starting to feel my age.  What do I mean by that?  I haven't been working out since Morgan took maternity leave.  It will be hard to get back in sync when she returns in a couple weeks - plus she plans to put us each 3 x week as we had bought extra sessions before she took off.  My body has gotten lazy and even though I've done a few things here at home, I haven't pushed myself at all - and I'm flabby.  Sad, isn't it.  I felt so much better when I was working out; so much stronger and ready to do anything.  Now I feel tired all the time and lazy. I've got to find time to make myself do things.  I can only use my broken toe (I thought it was two toes that broke, but I got my summary this morning and the one toe is broken in two places.) as an excuse.  It is still swollen, painful and I have to be careful, but I can use weights and do low impact.  Just need to get my lazy butt moving.

James 1:2-3 (ESV):  Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.

Be joyful when I'm going through things I don't want to go through?  Count it to be joyful when my heart is in angst over family illness and relationships?  Be happy and joyful when I struggle to be myself?  And yet, that is what James, the brother of Jesus, is telling us to do.  Be joyful.

But sometimes I LIKE being frustrated.  I LIKE being angry.  I LIKE being... well, whatever.  Ok, maybe LIKE isn't the right word.  I just don't 'like' people telling me I need to be happy and to 'get over it'.  But James says our trials should cause us to be joyful.  Why?  Because through those trials and problems we go through, whether it is our own personal sickness, another's illness, relationships, children..... no matter what it is, we can be joyful because Jesus lives within us and He will always walk with us through whatever trial we are going through.

I know He does.  Many, many times I have cried out to Jesus to help us in various things.  Things I would never share with anyone - at least until after the fact.  I know I've shared on here at times that years ago our finances were zero.  We had nothing and I was the only one working.  I felt so alone that I was forced to go through that - and it was all of my own making.  But I cried out to God about our situation and in going through my bible, I found another scripture in Philippians that morning that brought soothing joy to my heart, for I knew that God had heard my cries to Him for help; He had seen my tears.  Things didn't get better right away, but I knew I was heard.  And many times, I think that is just all we want.  We want to be heard.

I'm sure some of you are going through some very difficult times right now, or have been, or will be.  Life is hard.  Keeping our eyes on Jesus during these times is hard.  I know; I've been there.  My life has never been easy and some days it is harder than others.  And I'm sure yours is as well.  No matter what the issues is - finances, illness, relationships - they hurt everyone whether they are involved or not.  But I want you to remember this........

Philippians 4:6-7 (NLT):  Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything.  Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done.  Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything that we can understand.  His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

That is the verse that I found that morning when I was in so much anguish.  And you know what, the scripture was right!  I chose then not to worry about the problem, but thanked God that I could bring that problem to Him and leave it in His hands.  I thanked Him for what He was going to do to help me - one way or another.  His peace that your receive after giving whatever it is that is troubling you to Him, His peace will settle over you and you will feel so much better.  Trust me on this.  I have frequently experienced His peace when I let go of my worry, my fears, my whatever.  

Give it all to Jesus; He is the only One who can rescue you from yourself; and set your feet on His solid ground.  Give it some thought - you will be glad you did.

Blessings!

I just want to sleep....

 Another strange night of not sleeping much.  Awake at 12:30-ish and tossing and turning for what seemed like forever, praying and asking God 'WHAT??? and sleeping lightly - and awakening at 3:30AM again with a big headache this time.... could it be from the storm that will arrive Thursday night?  Tossing and turning again, I knocked my clock off the stand, unplugging it... finally just got up and took an ibuprofen and came in here.  Tried to sleep, but soon heard hubby getting up so turned the light on and started my reading.  I got most of my reading done, but then the ibuprofen took effect and I got drowsy and dozed some.  I've been dozing for about the last 40-50 minutes, I'd guess, and I still want to sleep. That's why I don't take ibuprofen very often.  I discovered it makes me sleepy for a long time. But I also knew it would quickly knock the headache, much faster than Tylenol.

So here I am, short on time, still sleepy, and no major thing to talk about.  I can't even get a scripture (at this moment) to come to mind to write about.  

Concerned about my middle child.  What's happening should not be happening.  Saying prayers and hoping he will contact his doctor for follow-up.  Only putting this hear for don't know if he would see my note on his blog, as he doesn't write every day.

Hubby is to go for lunch and a movie with the youngest son today - part of his Christmas gift.  He was given a small gift card, I think, and a note that the youngest would take him out at a certain time after Christmas to lunch and a movie as his Christmas.  And here is the day.  The youngest did the same for me, I got a Michael's gift card and a note he'd take me out to whatever I wanted to do.  I was joking around with him the other day.... we were chatting and he brought it up... said he'd even take me for a spa day.  I know he can't afford that for both of us... it can get quite expensive... so I suggested we go get pedicures and manicures. LOL  He wasn't so sure about having someone touch his feet.  Since we acknowledged, he would have to wait until the end of the next month to have the money to take me out, I'm sure I will have my feet done before then.    But now I need to figure it out.  I told him - as I tell my middle child frequently..... I don't care if we just go out for a cup of coffee or a coke .... my favorite gift is spending 1:1 time with them and just be with them.

Wouldn't that be a fun gift from my grandchildren too?  At Christmas time we all get so caught up in buying gifts.... I would love my grandchildren to hand me a card with a note... "grandma, on this date/time, let's go to breakfast/lunch/dinner."   I wish they - meaning my children and grandchildren - all understood that at my age, all I want is to spend time with them.  I want us to make a memory that will last them a lifetime, even if it is nothing more than "I remember when grandma and I went out for a hot fudge sundae at Dairy Queen, and we spent quality time together and I will hold that memory forever."  (or even my sons and daughter, for that matter!)   Time with my family is more valuable to me than any gift could be.   (I always have been a 'cheap date'.  LOL)

But I know for him, it could be a bit more... so I will try to think of something 'special' for us to do.  If not, then he can take me to lunch.... he doesn't read so finding a unique bookstore is out of the question... but my older son - yeah, I think he'd like that... just to browse.  Maybe.  He prefers his kindle. I use both - real books - and my kindle.  Wouldn't it be fun to find some thrift bookstores and just rummage through them?  There is a half price bookstore - or used to be - on Camelback.... I've ordered from them, but never have gone there... uh oh.... there I go again, thinking about books!  LOL That will be my retirement years.... reading all the time.  In between sewing, crocheting, knitting, etc.  

And.... I need to go jump in the shower and get ready for work.  Oh - speaking of... I did take the training for that legal contract thing my one boss was making me do.  sigh.  I also scheduled time with him yesterday and made him share his screen with me and he input a contract he sent me to do.  He didn't even have all the information and had to email the other company asking for specific things - how would I have even known how to do that??  I'm definitely frustrated with him, and I told him so... sorta.  And then this team building things he was to have reserved for his team (and me)... he hadn't done it. "Will you do it?" he asks and gives me his credit card number.  I call, get some information - such as they don't open until 4PM but my boss wants it at 12:30-2PM.... so long story short, they emailed me that they would make an exception for our 8 member 'team'..... at $40 a person, plus tax, plus 20% gratuity.  I forwarded the information to my boss and told him that decision was way above my pay grade.  He needs to make the decision as it is going on his credit card.  What is this event?  It's axe-throwing.  There is one in Tempe and one at Westgate.  Usually, it is $20 pp so I'm wondering why $40 pp - I guess because they would be coming in earlier in the day to accommodate us.  Well, not my decision.  I'll wait and see what the boss says - and does he know that per company... nothing over $25 per employee can be done.  And I didn't want to get involved in it - and here I am!  Other duties as assigned.  Oh well.

And with that - I'm off here - sorry I have just rambled... blame it on the ibuprofen and headache.

Blessings!

Was it the coffee, tea or nap?

 Guess who didn't sleep much last night?  Yep - I tossed and turned nearly all night; I did fall asleep in here for a little while but don't know how long.  And I'm still tired.  So what's with the title?  I had my usual cup of coffee when I got up.  After hubby left for church, I fixed myself a flavored cup of coffee and settled back in my chair to watch our church service.  When hubby came home from church, I had hoped he would stop and pick us up something on the way home, but he did not - and I didn't fix anything for lunch.  So I suggested KFC and he was all for it - so we went there for lunch and I had two glasses of ice tea.  When we came back home, I was really tired (was that residue from the surgery still cause I had slept well the night before) or what.... so I slept deep for a good hour, I'd guess, although I didn't think I slept.  Hubby of course said that I snored so he is sure I slept.  Sigh.  Why is it everyone likes to comment on my snoring?  When I do it, that is one thing... but to be continuously reminded is disturbing.

Anyway, we did a 5 hour marathon of NCIS on ION.  I do enjoy the NCIS series.  Actually saw 2 or 3 that I had not seen before - or if I have, I had forgotten them.  We finally turned the TV off around 9PM and headed to bed.  I knew I was still 'awake' but thought once I settled in bed I would fall asleep.  I was wrong.  I was wide awake and tossed and turned nearly all night, it feels like.  And it's Monday. UGH. 

We are to go out to dinner with the youngest and his wife tonight.  They asked for last Thursday, but since that was the day of my surgery, we declined and he called and asked for tonight.  It will be fun to get cleaned up to go out and be with other people.  I couldn't put on makeup until today... and I probably will still skip the eye makeup I generally wear.  I still can't get over the different shades when I close one eye - so drastically different.  Can't wait until March 30th when I can have both colors the same!

My biggest forgetful part is DO NOT BEND OVER.  The doctor had said to keep my head above my heart - I guess so that gravity doesn't pull the new lens in my eye off?  I dunno - and I've tried to be conscious of it - but I have bent down several times (catching myself as I do it!) to pick something up that I dropped.  A couple times I was bending down to the couch to move something and hubby was telling me "don't bend over" as I did so.  I sure didn't realize how often I do that.  Sure, I could squat and pick it up - which is what the doctor told me to do.  But the problem with that is.............. if I squat, I can't always get back up on my own.  Quit laughing!  You know exactly what I'm talking about!  It's like the legs are frozen in the squat position and they will not give you any leverage up.  It happened to me a few times in the office... talk about embarrassing!  I had to find something to pull myself up to get up!  So I try not to squat.  I suppose I should do leg exercises to help?  It's lunges, right?  Probably not going to happen.  I lunge and still can't get back up - if I can keep my balance!

What is this with our crazy weather lately?  It was finally a beautiful day the other day, and yesterday was cloudy and cool.  I love our sunshiney days.  I know several do not like the heat, but I'm inside all day so getting to go outside one in awhile to 'breathe' is wonderful.  

Colossians 1:9 (NKJV):  "For this reason we also, since the day we heard it, do not cease to pray for you, and ask that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding."

Some of you know that I pray daily for you; some of you know I agonize in prayer for you.  But it has nothing to do with me.  Some of you may or may now know how your children have prayed for you over the years.  How do I know this?  Because I spent time with your children when they were younger. I took them to church on Wednesday nights, for one thing... and they would often share things as we talked.

One grandson, as we were driving to or from church, made a comment that touched my heart.  Now I dearly love ALL my grandchildren... but some have that special connection.  Shall I share the story? My mother had recently died, so we are talking back to 2004.  The grandchildren were all asking questions about their 'Great-Grandma Hanky' and I was doing my best to answer, without breaking down in to tears.  Then one grandson shared this... "But you can have joy, grandma, because you will see her again in heaven."  Such wise words from such a young man! Oh how he touched my heart that day!  

Do you know of that joy - that some day you will see your loved ones in heaven?  Not everyone will go to heaven; but those who love Jesus, and have accepted Him as Lord and Savior.  Do you have loved ones in heaven you are longing to see again?  Will they be standing at the door to greet you.... waiting for you?  

I remember a dream I had shortly after my mother passed.  She was in her mid-40's ... and I was on one side (as a small child of about 6-8) and my little sister was on the other side (again as a small child) and we each had mother's hand... and we were running through a beautiful field of wheat, laughing and enjoying the blue skies, sunshine, and joy.  It was a beautiful dream.

What would your dream hold?  

Blessings!

In the middle of the night...

 once again sleep aluded me. Awakened around 12:15AM by an unknown reason, I could not go back to sleep.  Last time I looked at the clock it was 1:30AM and I debated on getting up and settling down in my chair for the duration of the night.  But I resisted, and finally dozed off to sleep, only to wake up at 4AM. This morning has been a struggle to stay awake - again - and often found my eyes closing.  I finally decided to just get dressed out of my jammies and I think I'm finaly able to stay awake.  Maybe.  It will be a light day today so if I need a nap, I know that I can get one in.  Both of my bosses will be at Corporate today for meetings so I don't expect to hear much from them - if at all. I am still working on my mandatory training stuff so have plenty to do.

Because I have had difficulty staying awake earlier, I haven't read my books yet this morning - well, I did read my Bible, and I have read one other book.  But haven't done my lesson yet.  And I still have time, but thought I'd start on this first.  But the problem with that is - my mind is blank and probably still tired - and nothing is coming to mind to write about.  Let see.... what can I share...

Have you ever done something that made you want to go and hide and not be seen?  Not held accountable for something?  I'm sure we all have at some point in our childhood - and in our adult lives!  A light example would be.....  some time ago I wanted a cookie.  Now I know a cookie is NOT on ANY of the diet plans I have been on.  But I STILL wanted a cookie.  I think they were oreos - which are one of my many favorites.  And I wanted one.  Not a handful.  Just one.  So I got up from my desk, walked to the kitchen (hubby was in the front room and I had to cross over from one side to the other), quietly got into the pantry, got a cookie, and walked back to my 'office'.  I text'd my little sister and told her "It has to be pretty bad when an adult has to go sneak a cookie and hide it under her shirt so that she can enjoy a cookie without any comments" (or something like that).  My sister had to call me - she nearly choked on her water when she read my note!   Now in all fairness, hubby would not dare to tell me I couldn't have a cookie, but he could make a comment... and I didn't want to hear it.  I didn't want him to know I was getting a cookie.  So I snuck it to my room under my shirt, so that I could enjoy it all by myself.  I am 72 years old - surely I can have a cookie if I want it!

And isn't that what we do with life?  We see something we want and go after it, but then we think we shouldn't let it be known (sometimes) what we did.  Sometimes we put the item in the closet and after a week or so, bring it out and when someone asks when did we get it, we respond with "oh it has been in the closet".  And, in all honesty, sometimes you HAVE had it for awhile and the other party just doesn't remember you having it.  But sometimes, that shirt or dress, or a book, may be on a shelf or in the closet for awhile before being brought out into the light. :)

Genesis 3:8 (NIV):  Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the Lord God among the trees of the garden."

Ah, yes, I am referring to Adam and Eve.  You remember the story.  The serpent tempted Eve by asking her "Did God really say you couldn't eat of that tree?"  And Eve, desiring the fruit, took and ate of it, and also gave to her husband, Adam, and he did eat of the fruit.  But then, reality hits!  He looks at her - she looks at him - and both realize they are totally naked!  So what do they do?  They couldn't let God see them naked (although He already had, since He created them!) - so they (somehow) sewed fig leaves together to cover themselves.  And then they hid.  And when God came to visit them, to walk with them as He always did..... they were hiding from Him.

And that is what we often do, isn't it?  We may just speak a cross word to a child or to a spouse... and then we want to go back into our corner to hide because we know we did something we shouldn't have done.  It doesn't mean they love us less (overall, anyway), but it just means that we know we have sinned and shouldn't have done that.  We want to hide and pretend nothing happened.

But because of God's great love for Adam and Eve, he clothed them with animal skin, and sent them out of the garden to till the ground.  They still worshipped God, but had to accept the consequences of their disobedience.  Same as we do; same as the punishment we give to our children.  "I TOLD you not to do that - but you did it anyway!  Your punishment is....."  Consequences.  Being banished from the Garden of Eden.  That's tough.  But very necessary.  

Oh, and the serpent got punished too!  He was made to eat dust all his life... crawling along the ground.  And yes, to get even with man, he will strike out at our heels, but the devil's head was crushed when Jesus went to the cross and died for us.  The devil thought he had won the battle over good by getting the people to crucify the One who was God's only Son.  But the battle wasn't over.  Jesus died, was buried, and rose again on the third day - and Victory was declared over the devil.  Death could not hold Jesus down!  Hallelujah!   Now THAT is a story that should never be hidden!

Hmmm now that I mentioned oreos, I want one.  And I don't have any.  Oh well.  Guess I'll fix a shake for breakfast this morning.  It will get me through the morning.

What - or who - are YOU hiding from?  Have you heard that small voice inside trying to tell you something?  Maybe you need to apologize?  Maybe you need to make things right?  Maybe you should change the way you do things?  I don't know... but if you have that small voice causing you to 'hide', then perhaps you need to step back and NOT hide, but face whatever it is.

God loves you - no matter what.  He loves you so much, He has given you such great worth, that nothing you do could ever cause Him to walk away from you.  Why not take a moment and just have 'that conversation' with Him this morning?  Ask Him why you are hiding from Him, and what you can do to get taken care of.

Me.... I'm out of cookies.... so I'm not hiding right now!  (Not that I need to ever!)

Blessings!

Who would have thought....

 that at 2:23AM I would be awake and typing on here?  I am exhausted.  No, I'm more than that.  I'm wiped out.  Spent the day at the hospital waiting on hubby to have his surgery, then he was sent to a room as they decided to keep him overnight for observation, although he was doing just fine.  The doctor told me it was because the incision was in the abdominal area and it was a couple inches deep to the vein he had to go down to get to the aneurysm behind the knee.  I left the hospital around 5:30PM-ish I think and then headed home.  Stopping at El Pollo Loco, I grabbed a 2 pc chicken meal to have when I got home.  I hadn't eaten breakfast or lunch except for a protein bar and some grapes/strawberries I had packed.  I was hungry.  Got home, ate, watched a movie, decided to crash about 8:30PM... which is around our usual time for bed during the week.  Only... this time... I'm tossing and turning, and am awake some time after 1AM.  I refuse to get up.  I continue to toss and turn. I pray for those tat came to mind.   I finally gave up.  I came in here to my room to sleep in my chair; perhaps that is what I'm needing.

Nope.  My legs are aching - more than likely from sitting for most of the day.  I did get up and walk occasionally, but obviously not a whole lot.  I sat and nearly crochet'd an entire baby blanket while I was there.  And that's with taking breaks!  So, my legs hurt, I'm really tired, and I can't sleep.  I'm thinking I can take a tylenol to maybe stop the ache and maybe in a bit I can snag another hour or two of sleep before needing to start work.  And, another thing that popped up in my very tired mind this morning is that it shows how inactive I have been with sitting all day, moving just enough to fix dinner, then sitting all evening.  I simply must start getting more active.  I don't think it is going to be today.

Hubby is to be discharged this morning.  I didn't take today off so asked him to call me when they discharged him and when he is ready to come home, I will drive over and pick him up.  I don't need to go up and sit and wait.   I remember last time I did go up the next morning and he had already been discharged and was finishing packing up.  No sense in me finding a parking spot and going up to his room when I can just pull up front and they will bring him down.  Of course if I went and parked my car, that would mean I'd be walking some... 

It was nice my bosses both checked in with me yesterday to see how things were going.  My one (male) boss.... I feel bad for him... his calendar is always back-to-back meetings, and he is one of these people who are so organized and keeps notes of every meeting, etc.  Since he and I often share 'true' feelings, he shared he got called on the carpet yesterday..... for not attending specific meetings.... when he is already double and triple booked most of the time.  He had delegated to someone else another meeting or two...  and was called on it.  He felt very discouraged... and he said I was able to help him get past that discouragement by reminding him that he doens't work for this company, he works for God.  Yes, he is a religious man.  He is a mormon, so I just share the goodness of Jesus with him.  And he listens.  I was able to share some thoughts with him and he said he appreciated the reminder.  Sometimes life really does get overwhelming and we need to stop and grab hold of Jesus' hand and remind ourselves that He is the One in control.  And yet, He allows us to make our own decisions.

Colossians 3:23-24 (NKJV):  "And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance; for you serve the Lord Christ."

In other words, do everything as if you are working for Jesus.  When you do your job well, you (usually) get paid well, but even more than that, you have the favor of Jesus.  Why do you have His favor?  Because He sees your heart and what you do.  He loves you.  He is always there for you.  Even now, as tired as I am, I know that today as I try to work, He will get me through it.  I have amazing bosses who will allow me to take a nap if I need it.  I'm covered by His hand.  And it is a very good place to be..

I'm going to try and grab a bit more sleep..... and if I can't, a shower and a hot, strong, cup of coffee (or two) will get me through the day.  Hope your day is going well.

Blessings!

kind of out of it this morning....

 I don't know if hubby had something on his mind last night or if his shoulder was hurting him worse than usual, but he woke me up several times during the night with his tossing and turning.  I barely dragged myself out of bed this morning - I guess I was never awake enough to tell myself to get up and come to this other bed.  But the constant waking up has left me groggy, with a dull headache from lack of sleep, and tired.  And add in to it today is 'Fosamax Day'!  Which means by evening (although I try to ignore it) I will be exhausted for a couple days.  I get through it ok, it's not a big deal, but I find it helps a lot if I will allow myself 10-20 minutes to take a nap in the afternoon.  I go see the endocrinologist on April 8th - my doctor says I DON'T have to deal with the exhaustion every week for 2-3 days - I am to see if there is something else I can take - Reclast (infusion) or Prolia (shot) that is only every six months and I'd only be worn out a couple days at that time, instead of every week.  It's not that bad, but it would be nice to have energy again.

But then again, I have changed my diet and am eating more healthy so maybe it is also I'm working toxic food out of my system.  Do you know how hard it is not to reach in the bag of pretzels or chips and shove them into my mouth?  Or grab an ice cream bar out of the freezer?  UGH.  Last night we went to dinner at Macaroni Grill - don't waste your time.  On the way there as I was reviewing the menu (I 'sometimes' have difficulty making up my mind - especially when I'm trying to eat healthy) and saw some recent reviews - and all three of them were negative - giving the location we were going to 1 and 2 stars!  Yipes.  But we were meeting hubby's study guys and their spouses so we went.  The waitress was nice and we were seated in the almost empty room at 6PM  - we had reservations but 'wait until we put a couple tables together'.   They bring us water, as we were there first.  Then the other couples arrived and they brought their water.  They brought one loaf of rosemary bread with about a tablespoon of oil  For six people.  They were asked for more oil and we were told "we're out of oil".  HUH?  It's an Italian restaurant.  At 6PM, and they were out of oil for the bread.  Ok then.  We ordered our food.  I ordered tomato basil soup and a side salad.  I was trying to stay away from all the creamy and breaded entrees.  I asked that my salad be brought with my soup.  Well, a few others also asked for side salads and when they brought them - they put one in front of me and of the other two that wanted side salads.  I started to eat the salad, although I had asked they wait (and thought the salad was kind of chintzy) and then we realized they had given me one of the guys' side salad that he was splitting with his wife.  He told me to go ahead and eat it.  And, we told the waitress and she left.  A little bit later they brought our food.  I was impressed they divided up the food for the two couples on separate plates - very nice.  They bring me my soup and she goes "oh- you already got your salad".  I said I had been given one of the others' salad - and they never brought his - so he told them don't worry about it.  Now mind you, the salad he ordered was $3 and unlimited because it was ordered with his entree.  By the way, my soup was also to be 'unlimited', but I was never asked if I wanted any more (I didn't).  Soup was ok, nothing to write home about.  The others said their food was good.  They filled our water once.  Hubby got the bill for ours and he, not really knowing what had transpired with the salad, and we were sitting at the opposite ends of the table because we were wanting to have girls at one end and guys at the other so that we can talk, he didn't let me review it.  He paid it.  I glanced at it on the way home.  Not only did they put the $3 charge for the guys' salad on our bill, they also left on the $4 for my side salad - which no one got.  So they got an extra $4 for our meal - which was nearly $40.  Hubby had gotten a shrimp something or other - and we both drank water.  Yeah, we won't be going back.  Service was tolerable, food was ok, but messing up the order and not fixing it.... you don't mess with people's money.   They even added a $2 'temporary inflation tax' on each bill.  Yeah.  Temporary.  It's so temporary it was also listed on their website that they were doing that. 

I didn't have much to do yesterday with work - had several meetings to schedule, but other than that, it was pretty quiet.  About 3PM I picked up a book and started reading.  Discerning the Voice of God by Priscilla Schirer.  I really enjoy her books,  This is like a Bible study, only it's a personal Bible study in that you read through it, and she asks questions at the end to think about.  At least at first glance that is what it is.  I'm still in the first chapter.  I tried to read it earlier, but couldn't stay awake.  No, I didn't go back to sleep, but it wasn't for lack of not trying.  I started this book some time ago, but see I never finished it.  I'm starting at the beginning again so hopefully this time I will.  Sometimes I get too many books going and then have to stop and put some aside so that I can not fill all my time with God with busyness, but allow time to be quiet and listen for Him.  One key sentence she has made in this first chapter is that we don't hear from God, because we aren't listening for Him.  I admit, sometimes in my rush to get through everything I want to do in my 'quiet time' ... I don't wait for God to talk to me.  That's probably most days in  total honesty.  I read, I do some study, I type in here, I pray, and I get up and turn on the work computer and start my day.  Sometimes I sleep in the middle of all that.  I want to reorganize my mornings to where I allow time to just sit still and be quiet.  THEN I will be able to hear.

Has God ever spoken to me before?  Yes He has, and I know His voice.  It's not an audible voice, although some times when I've heard it, I'm looking around with a 'who said that?' mentality.   Those times that I've heard God speak to me are - whether in Word alone, or just feeling His Presence near me, are times that I can never forget.  There is nothing like it.  I've let too much of the world in my quiet time and I need to close the books and put back on the shelf, and carve out specific time to just wait.  It doesn't have to be a long time; it could be as short as ten minutes.  But, when I do all the talking, God doesn't have a chance to get a Word in edgewise cause I jump up and get busy.  You ever do that?

Let's make a pact.  As you spend your time getting ready for your day, sit back in your chair, close your eyes to the distractions around you, and spend ten minutes just doing nothing.  Let your thoughts turn to Jesus and, especially during this Lenten season, think of what Jesus has done for you.  Still your mind as you picture Him walking down the road.  Picture Him smiling at you, hugging you, gathering you close.  He is so happy you are thinking of Him.  Sit there and feel His Presence around you.  There is nothing like it.  You will find the 'peace that passeth all understanding' will fall upon you and your day will be completely different than any other.  

Try it.  You'll be glad you did.

Blessings!

It was too early...and yet...

 I struggled out of bed around 3:20AM this morning becaues I could sleep no longer.  Hubby was snoring and although I had been awake for awhile (I'm sure I was dozing, at least lightly) I could not get back into a deep sleep.  I tried to go back to sleep here in my room, my eyes were glued shut, but the 'dreams' that flowed in and out of my mind were weird and odd. The wind is blowing and our metal flag against the house is banging against it. (I am going to find a place to move that metal flag!)  I hear hubby get up around 4:30AM I think, and so I turn my light on.  I'm still struggling to get my eyes open.  My arms feel like they are dead weight, that they are asleep.  I finally move enough that my arms regain feeling and my eyes open.  What in the world is going on with me?!

Hubby brings my coffee in and tells me he made a pot of coffee this morning and not just the k-cup.  That means I have two cups of coffee in my cup.  One cup doesn't always last long, and this morning I obviously need that extra cup right now.  I have a feeling we may go out to breakfast this morning - and if we do so, I will have a few more cups of coffee as well!

Oh my goodness, I'm already starting to erase things I'm writing.  I hope I can finish this one today and not throw into draft mode like I did one day last week!  Three times I tried to write but nothing seemed to flow.  It was an outlet, I guess, and I didn't want to post it.

Hubby's surgery is Monday morning and he is getting anxious.  His fears were somewhat relieved yesterday as he went to the hospital to do the preliminary work and they went ahead and had him complete the paperwork he would need to fill out.  All except one paper that needs to be signed on Monday morning.  They drew 5 vials of blood and he had to do a urine sample and get an EKG too.  Interesting.  All for vascular surgery to fix a couple aneurysms.  This surgery is for the aneurysm on the left side of the abdomen and the one behind his left knee.  He said he felt relieved when he was able to talk to the people at the hospital and get all this part taken care of.   If I recall correctly, they said that the surgery will take several hours so I plan to take a couple crochet projects to work on while there.  Of course I took the day off work so that I can be there all day.  He will be staying overnight; although I plan to work the next day, I can take off to go pick him up.

I actually got some things done yesterday.  While hubby was at the hospital doing what he needed to do, I moved my sewing machine to another area in that back room (I was able to get rid of the buffet that was only collecting things in and on it) so freed up some space.  The TV stand I was able to get rid of the week before.  I am trying to let go.  And it isn't easy.  Not that I need any of what I have.  If someone wants it and I'm not using it, I'm glad to let it go.  I moved my weight bench out of this room and all the weights and this room feels and looks much better!  Still have clutter, especially here in my corner, which I need to straighten up my books and put some in the other room on the book shelves.  I will get around to it soon.  Maybe today.  Maybe.   I plan to move that one desk in the back room around and hopefully create enough space to put my treadmill in that room.  Then part of me says to just sell it and the weight bench and go to the gym that we pay for.  It's just hard for me to go with working.  By the time I'm finished for the day, I have to fix dinner and then I don't want to go anywhere.  Give me a book or my crocheting.  With having these here, I can hopefully jump on the treadmill even for ten minutes off and on throughout the day.  Hubby don't like me walking outside by myself and he doesn't always want to go.  Although we both need to.

In fact, as I turned on my back in the bed this morning - and I'm being very open here - and my butt settled into the 'dip' in the mattress, the thought occurred to me that I have allowed exactly what I always said I wouldn't allow..... I wouldn't gain weight as I aged... and yet, here I am.  Perhaps that was in the back of my mind as the jeans I was wearing yesterday were feeling pretty snug.  I am going to have to start eating better - and a lot less of it.  That pint (or two) of ice cream I ate last week are showing, I'm afraid.  Yeah, I had a couple bad days this past week.  I don't normally do that, but I did.

Today is a new day and is going to be a good day.  I am going to be positive and I am going to get some things accomplished today.  Now the question is.... where shall I begin?

Today is the first day of the rest of your life.  What are you going to do with this very first day.... of the rest of your life?  Something to think about.

Blessings!