Short and Sweet

 Don't have much to share today.... I actually did write a fairly long post a little bit ago, but decided to leave it in draft mode cause it was so boring.  I know, what is the difference between this one and others, huh?  But, I decided to just leave it as it is for the moment.  

Got to meet up with a co-worker yesterday for lunch and that was fun.  What was really fun is that with walking Sheeba every morning I have managed to keep my weight down.  She has gained weight.  Oh we women notice those things!  LOL  It was so good to see her and spend an hour with her.  She is the one who always had candy at her desk and I was always raiding the dish.  I mean she had the good stuff too.  I have missed her.  She will continue to work from home in January while I will have to go to the office.

Today is the last of September - where has the month gone?  Where has the year gone?  So many have made jokes about Christmas being right around the corner, and so it is.  I've already started buying a few things but it will have to be small this year.  Too much going on and I'm doing 99.9% of my shopping online which means I'm not getting the good deals but paying full price.

Today will be a busy day as I have some things I need to get done.  Friday I will be driving down to Mesa to meet up with one of my bosses to catch up on life.  And work, of course.  I'll help her clean out her office and pick up the rest of whatever I have.  That will probably be my last trip there - the next one will be to the Central office down down.  Still have mixed emotions.

I've gotten used to walking Sheeba, and she won't get those walks once I'm working downtown.  For some reason hubby just won't walk her.  Don't understand that - she is his dog.  He told someone recently that 'he' bought me the dog so that I'd have someone to walk with.   Really?

Ok - enough of that and I need to get out of my jammies and into clothes as it is 6AM and I need to get ready to walk her.  Got to get on the computer by 7AM (ok, 7-ish).   Budget talks today for 4 of the people I support so their stress levels are over the top.  In person is always much better for these meetings, but trying to do it virtually is very hard, I'm sure.  Hope they get all they want.  Glad I'm not involved in it.

Hope I haven't bored you today - not too much to share - maybe tomorrow. :-)

Have a great day!

You are always on my mind....

 I love that song by Willie Nelson.  It was sung many, many years ago, and the meaning it meant at that time and the meaning it is to me this morning are so different.  For then the song was meant for two people in love... you know the first bloom of love when you just can't get enough of the person you have fallen hard for.  You are thinking of them constantly, wanting to be with them.

That is the way our Heavenly Father is.  We are always on His mind.  No matter what we go through, no matter the happiness, no matter the pain or sorrow, no matter what, we are always on His mind.  Yes, He loves us so much, so unconditionally, that there is nothing we can do to separate ourselves from His love.

It's interesting, this morning, that this thought has come to me.  As I read my Bible this morning, I'm reading in Ezekiel and God is not happy with His people and is telling them so through His prophet. I finished my reading, thinking about what this world is like today and the things God accused Israel of, and the things that is being done today.  So much sinfulness!

As I did my prayers, my heart was drawn to my daughter-in-love who lost her job this past weekend.  My heart goes out to her.  But I am acutely aware of how close she was to her mother and I do not want to take her mother's place, but I want to let her know that I love her and I care about her.  I have a plan.... and hope to accomplish it this week.  I just want to let her know I love her and I am praying for her.  

Part of me is excited about this new journey God is going to take her through.  I know right now things can seem pretty scary.  I've been there, and I understand the fear and grief and all the emotions that go with this.  But I also know that as His child, He fully understands what is going on, what emotions she is feeling, and He loves her so much and longs to lavish His love upon her.  I know He has the perfect place for her.  Lord, help her to be patient and wait upon You, but also Lord, I ask that You do not delay in bringing it to her.  

I could see her teaching at the very college that honored her recently.  I can see her loving and caring on people wherever she ends up.  That is who she is.  I don't always understand her, that is true.  But I know that God has her in the palm of His hand, and that He does understand, He does love her, and He will provide all that she needs.  Thank you, Jesus.

So she is on my mind this morning, and God is on my mind this morning.  He has been so good to us and watches over us in all things.  I don't understand why some things are the way they are, why life is what it is at times, but I know that I can always lean into my Heavenly Father and He will always comfort my heart.

I love it when God is always on my mind.  Some days I wish that I didn't have to stop what I'm doing in my 'quiet time' with God and I can just stay here all day.  I long for the days that I used to be able to take off work and stay in a hermitage alone and spend the entire day just worshiping and praising God, and offering my heart up to Him in prayer and praise  Those were the days I felt the closest to Him.

I remember being up high on the mountain and crying out to God how much I wanted to know Him, to feel Him, to hear Him.  As I stood outside a building there at the top of that mountain, crying out to God to know Him, in the stillness of that moment, the wind started blowing.   I stood there for a moment, eyes closed, and letting the wind blow over me.

And God answered my prayer by bringing back to my remembrance of the story of Elijah in I Kings 19:11-18 in which Elijah obeyed God and stood on the mountain before the Lord.   The Lord brought a great wind, but He was not in it.  He brought an earthquake, but He was not in it.  He brought a fire, but He was not in it.  But then, He came in a still, small voice.....and spoke to Elijah.   The wind reminded me that I don't need to look for God in signs, but all I need to do is to be still and listen for His voice.

And He has spoken to me before.  It is not like I can call His voice to me whenever I want to hear it, but there are times that He will speak and I will know that it is Him.  It is in those moments that I want to capture every emotion I feel, knowing that I am loved, and I hear His voice.

Most times I keep so busy that I don't take time to stop and listen.  And other times I do stop and beg God to speak to me, to give me the answers that I need and want.  But He doesn't speak when I beg Him.  He speaks when He wants to.  But I have heard His voice, and I know His voice.  When you hear it, you will know His voice too.  Always be alert and ready to listen.

He also speaks through other people.  But we are not always wanting to hear from other people.  God uses even donkeys to get His message across.  And we all know a few of those, right?

What about you?  What is on your mind this morning?  Is it work?  Is it school?  Is it a loved one?  Is it your pain?  No matter what it is, God is not far from you.  No matter what you have done, He is always there.

Sit still for a moment.  Turn your thoughts to Him.  Confess your sins to Him and ask for His wisdom, knowledge, and understanding.  Ask Him to lead you to wherever you need to go.  Tell Him what you need, and that you are waiting on Him.  No matter how long it takes, you will be patient and wait upon Him to guide you to where you are to go, to show you what you are to do.  And He will.

He just might speak to you today.  It may - or may not - be audible.  But you will know that the Lord, He is God.  Love Him.  Trust Him.  Give Him all that troubles you.  And you will know His voice.

You are always on His mind.

Blessings!

It was a nice getaway....

 We did take a drive up to Prescott yesterday and it was a very nice day.  We didn't leave here until around 10AM and good thing we were not on a schedule!  We couldn't get on I-17 and were re-routed (partially because hubby wouldn't listen to me and take the 101, perhaps?) around until we got to 19th Avenue and was finally able to get on I-17 around Jomax.  But we eventually got up to Prescott.  I text'd the grandson as we were getting into town to see what he was doing.  He was watching the Raider game (they lost) and then he had to study.  He had one hour of watching and then he had to hit the books.  

We opted to let him be.  He offered to turn the TV off and come meet up with us, but we told him no.  Watch the game and then study.  We were just up for a few hours and it isn't like we never get to see him as he is down here frequently.  It worked out well for us as after driving around for a bit we finally found a parking spot near the town square.  We had to quickly find a restroom (imagine that! but it wasn't for me) and then we walked around the square.  

The grandson had told us of a pizza place near the square that he is fond of and so we also tried to find it while we were walking, but could not.  We hadn't gotten really direct instructions; just the name of it, so we just walked around looking for it.  When we were ready to head back home, talking about stopping somewhere on the way, we decided to google and see where this place was.  I had been asking siri the wrong name - so this time I just asked for Pizza in that area - and there it was.  It was very close but a block or so from the square so we drove over there and went in to eat.  Nice quaint place.  Friendly.  We ordered a supremo median pizza.

It was good... ok, I'm spoiled.  I love Sardella's pizza.  I love a good pizza with a lot of flavor.  I'm not sure what it was about this pizza - perhaps too many flavors?  They had diced very tiny all the onions and peppers, etc.  It was good, don't get me wrong, but I don't think I'd order it again.  My taste buds rebelled and I just couldn't eat much of it.  We brought home leftovers and had them for dinner last night - but I could only manage to eat one piece.  Not that I need a lot of calories it would surely pass on.

All in all, it was a nice day for a getaway trip and we had a good time.  The drive home wasn't bad and we were home mid-afternoon.  It was really just a getaway for something to do.  Walked around the square, got something to eat, and headed back home.  And we didn't argue.  Imagine that.  It was a good day.

Today is Monday and I'm back at work today.  I'm wondering how this week will go as two days are blocked out for my bosses for budget reviews.  They meet with the BIG BIG BIG bosses this week to discuss our budget needs for next year.  I know one boss is anxious because earlier in the year I had not followed my boss's instructions to go to another executive admin and have them go around about to get the CFO to approve a million dollar bill that was already several months past due.  It was making me angry because it had been in his "bucket" to approve for over a month, and his executive admin would not respond to me.  All I had done was ask her to ask him to approve and let's move on.    So, instead of going to the executive admin above me, I skipped her and went to the CEO's executive admin and asked her to ask the CFO to approve the bill.  

I had received a nice email back that he would approve it.  And he did, about two weeks later.  I guess it was that he would do it on HIS terms, not anyone else's.  Now mind you, I was the one getting the emails for the very past due billing.  Well, I had told my big boss what I had done and she gave me a tongue lashing that I did not follow her instructions, and that I did not follow business protocol (of going to the admin above me, etc.).  I didn't even bother to respond to her.  

So what if I went from one admin to another - I didn't go to the CEO or the CFO himself.  Anyway, with the budget and all, this came back to my mind the other day and my friend/boss and I discussed it.  She told me that our "big boss" is afraid that the CFO won't forget that I went to the CEO's executive admin to ask if she would ask him to sign it.  And that he would hold it against us.  Seriously?  So if that department - or her requests - do not get approved, does that mean it is my fault?  Because he can't forget that I "made him look bad" because he hadn't approved a bill that was long past due?   It finally got approved and paid, but it took months to happen.  I personally still do not see anything wrong with what I did and I would do it again.  How would the company feel to have a lawsuit against it because he wasn't approving the payment?  That is more important to me.  Like I said, it was several months past due.  Whose fault would it have been then?  UGH.

So that will probably be on all our minds this week.  It only came to my mind last week when my friend/boss and I were discussing the budgets and something was said about the other boss being worried about some thing.  I said that I was still "smarting" from her comments that day... and that is when my other boss told me what the thinking was (it would be remembered).  At this point it is like 'whatever'.  I thought we were grown-ups.

I guess this is all I have for today.  Need to start getting dressed so that I can take Sheeba for a walk today.  I had turned my ankle on Saturday so wanted to take yesterday off - and if I don't walk her, she doesn't get walked.  Many days I don't want to walk her, but, she needs to get some exercise too.

Maybe tomorrow I was have some gems of wisdom to share.  One can always hope.

Blessings!

It was fun... at least for me.

 I think we - as in my three children and I - all had fun yesterday morning as we ate breakfast together and then went through photos.  Comments were made here and there as they came across photos and it was fun to watch them pull photos out they wanted to keep.  The albums are still in the back of my car and I need to get out there and bring them in.

My plan for the rest of the photos is to (from the albums, that is for now) pull all from the albums and either throw away (people who we are not associated with now) or mail to other relatives or people who may like to have the photos.  I know I have a couple more boxes of photos and maybe in  a few months we will do this again and go through more of these.

I made comments of my own about some of the photos I saw being taken.  One was of my daughter and the oldest son - he was in the baby bed standing up so was around a year perhaps.  I'm a very bad judge of age anymore.  I was surprised my son had let the picture go and his sister took it.  I commented on it and he shrugged.  So I took a phone photo shot of it and sent to his daughter, commenting I thought she would like to have it - and she definitely did.  We can see one of her brothers in the face of her father.  I'm glad I saw that photo so that I could send it on.

I also saw a couple photos of my little sister and I when she used to come out here and we'd climb north mountain - or when we sat on a rock in Sedona for photos.  I know my daughter took one of those - so I grabbed it and took a phone photo of it and sent to my sister.  We both probably have the photos elsewhere, but it was when we both were skinny so we use these photos as encouragement.

All in all, I think we had a good time yesterday and I loved that the children all were nice to each other and seemed to enjoy going through the photos together.

The electrician had finished with the work he had to do before hubby or I got home yesterday so that is done.  Hopefully no more breakers popping.  Still need to get the bill on that.   When I ask my daughter for the bill so that I can pay it, all she will say is "ask Steve".  She won't tell me, and he won't either.

Hubby told me yesterday that (yes, he TOLD me) we are going to go to Prescott today to get away for the day.  Sheeba can stay in her pen (she does all night and does when we take her to a kennel) while we are gone.  We will just go up for the day to 'get away'.  What are we going to do?  "oh we can go walk the mall (what's left of it) and have a late lunch up there, then perhaps call the grandson who lives up there to meet up with us somewhere, then come back home".  It sounds like a nice plan, but on my days off from work, I'm content to stay at home.  But, I kept my mouth shut and just said 'ok'.  Of course he will drive, which means I will crochet to keep busy.

Well, I hear hubby moving around and I have been hiding in my room for a long while.  Sheeba has been walking all around looking for me.  I need to go.  No great philosophical statements today.

Have a great Sunday.

Blessings.

Memory thinking and making...

 Yeah, today is the day my three children will gather together and go through the photo albums to take what photos they want.  Our original plans fell through the cracks last night when I got a text from the son-in-law that the electrician will be here at 7AM to turn off our power and change out the electrical box outside.  It will take about 3 hours to get everything swapped out - which means the breakfast I was going to fix here at home will be done at my daughter's house.  I thought about post-poning the gathering, but was convinced to go through with it at another location.  That's ok.  I loaded up the photo albums in my car last night and have the food together in the refrigerator to grab this morning.  Hopefully I won't forget anything.

Hubby is going to another session this morning on a 'class' he has been attending at another church.  He may be home before the electrician is gone.  Which could be a good thing to see if everything is working.  And I expect it will be.  I knew the electrician was to come today, but I had forgotten the fact that all the power would be shut off.  Or just hadn't thought about that.  

I don't expect it to take too long for the children to go through the photo albums.  One will just flip through and go no, no, no, no.... lol.  Another will linger and ask questions of who is and what was this about.  Another... well, who knows what he will do.  All three are different and have different personalities and view memories and life differently from the others.  

I did decide to keep two of the albums for now.  Thinking about taking and sharing just to see if they'd like to see them.  Then they can decide who would eventually get them.  I have one I had created when my mother died.  Today would have been her 101st birthday I think.  She was born in 1918 I think (wow that seems a long time ago).  

Uh oh - I just got busted. Hubby came in and here I am typing.  At first I thought perhaps I'd just keep typing, then like a child hiding something, as he went into the closet, I quickly put the computer away to pretend I was reading.  He comes out and asks if I am working.  I just said no.  He left the room and I grab my computer again.

Now why did I do that?  Why did I feel I needed to "hide" what I was doing?  Because he always has a comment to make when I'm not doing what he thinks I should be doing and I also don't want him reading this blog.  I don't need his comments to drag me down, or his questions to make me clam up.  Those of you who know him, know what he does.  I fight depression, I don't want to live there.

Just finished a fitbit challenge with some of the children and grandchildren.  I usually lose, but I do give it a shot.  But some of my children take this to a higher level of competition.  It's not a big deal.  I know my son-in-law walks a lot during the day with his work.  The grandson and he are always - always - competing against each other - and that's ok.  Well, this time my youngest son wasn't happy that their fitbit's don't automatically sync.  Mine does, and I was looking to find out how to do set it to do that so that I could show the grandson, but I couldn't find it.   Mine used to not automatically sync but all of a sudden it does.  Not a big deal except when you are in a challenge it helps to see what your competition is.  It's just a fun thing to do for me, but I have a feeling I will have to do some separate challenges in the future cause some just take the fun out of it.

I'm on two challenges for this weekend from work and I really do not want to get started today with walking Sheeba, but I will have to if I am going to get some steps in.  My company uses something called Virgin Pulse and I am friends with numerous co-workers on it and they (and I ) are constantly challenging each other.  One that challenged me (and others) this weekend - well, she leaves me in the dust because she runs every morning.  She is usually about 30K plus ahead of everyone else at the end.  And you know what?  I don't care.  It's a connection.  She will always be ahead of me.  But the key is that I am doing something healthy for myself.  I wish I could run, but I cannot.  So I walk.  I wish I didn't always have to walk Sheeba for she slows me down some in that I have to keep an eye out for other dogs and her wanting to 'meet' them.  And stop to pick up her poop  Oh well.  At least I get some steps in.

Need to get moving and get dressed if I am going to go walk her before I gather my things to head to my daughters.  Not used to having to move on Saturday mornings; I've been not walking Sheeba on weekends.  But, need to get moving.

It's going to be a beautiful day - hope you have a great one!

Blessings!

It must be because it's Friday.... and the weekend is coming!

 I don't know what played with my mind last night, but I struggled with sleep.  We had a "normal" evening where we had dinner (wings and veggies) and hubby watched TV and I crochet for awhile.... and we went to bed around 8:30-ish as I have been doing due to work.  I fell asleep right away and slept hard - until about 11:15PM and mother nature said she wanted to see me.  I tried to ignore her, but she insisted. (polite way of saying I had to go pee).

Afterwards I come back to bed and weird dreams start.  I'm not even aware I'm dreaming.  But these dreams were of the really weird state.  One particular dream that I still remember is hubby and I were somewhere and were to meet an old co-worker of mine from over 20 years ago.  Seriously.  I don't remember what pretense we were to meet him for, but I remember him carrying in this long narrow box when he did show up.  

But then I'm confused and tired and I guess irritated and asked what that was about.  J told me that he was selling coffee and wanted to sign us up to sell it too.  I'm going "what?"  After a few minutes hubby is hollering at me what is this all about.  I'm trying to tell J (my friend) that I will buy coffee from him but don't want to sell it.   The longer the discussion went on (and what the discussion was, I have no ideal; I just remember the disruption of my time and sleep) the more irritated I got and finally said "fine, I'll sell your coffee - sign us up and let me get out of here!"  Then I woke up.

I guess actually my fitbit alarm must have gone off.  Then I was so tired and exhausted I didn't want to get up so I laid there until it went off again 5 minutes later.  I get up - and nearly walked into my jewelry box standing in the corner.  Found my way back to the bathroom and on to the 2nd bedroom where I do my quiet time.  I snuggled into my chair, wrapped my blanket about me, and tried to go back to sleep....when I hear hubby coming (so I quickly turn the light on) to bring me my coffee.  It may be a two cup morning.

Work has been really busy and draining this week.  I'm feeling pretty tired today and my calendar starts with a 7AM meeting with one of my 'big' bosses.  The top boss, in fact.  We need to review her calendar for the next two weeks and see what I need to help her prepare for.

So now I have read my Bible and my books and sit here on the computer.  I want to walk Sheeba this morning but it doesn't start to get light until after 6AM.  And I have to be on the computer by 7AM.  It may be a short walk today. I really am so tired that I would rather just sit back and enjoy a cup of coffee out in the cool air, but I have walk challenges going on with the family and with work.  I won't win either one because of my limitations on walking.  Walking Sheeba is good for me, it gets me out and walking.  But many times I wish I walked alone because I could walk faster and farther.  But, well, lets not go there.  Hubby walks alone (and Sheeba is HIS dog) and then comes back and tells me how far he got to walk.  With work, I can't walk a long distance, and with Sheeba stopping to do her dumps and I have to clean  it up, I'm time limited.

I'm so glad tomorrow is Saturday - and it is going to be a fun morning!  Hubby will be leaving around 6AM to go to a meeting and all three of my children are coming over to go through photo albums.  It's time I let go of photos.  I started at one time to go through and separate the photos, but when all three are in the photo - who would want it and who would get it.  This way they can choose what they want and leave what they don't.  A granddaughter has already told me she would like all the photos that her dad doesn't want and she will scan and keep for them.  I'll need to go through and eliminate those that are of no consequence, but I will let her have them.  It will be fun to relieve some of the memories we have together.  Their dad kept the majority of their photos; literally went through the photo albums and took them out when he moved me out.  It is what it is and we have survived.  

I'm so looking forward to tomorrow morning.  I have breakfast planned out in my mind and after a quick walk with Sheeba will get started on it.  Or she may not get a walk tomorrow.  I've gotten lazy on the weekends and not walked her at all.  During the day it is still too warm.  It's morning or evening.  Will see.  Ya know, it seems my world is spinning about Sheeba, doesn't it! LOL

I hear hubby in his bathroom getting ready to head out for his Friday morning Bible study.  He started that back up a week ago.  I'm glad for it gives him something to do.  He drives me crazy.  He also eats out more than most people with his friends.  I don't really care - as long as he doesn't go back to the Biscuit Cafe - he went there alone and had breakfast one morning - and got steak and eggs and juice, etc - and spent $30!!  For breakfast!  Needless to say, he won't do that again.  I don't work so he can spend hard-earned money on one meal.  Just saying.

One more week and my daughter and I will be taking the youngest son's daughter away for a weekend getaway.  Looking forward to that.  Still not sure what we will do since her interest's don't seem to be the same as ours (crochet/knit).  We will find something to do together.  I bought some nail stuff so we can do our nails together.

I read something this morning that was talking about low self-esteem.  There really isn't such a thing, it is really pride and self-centeredness.  Figure that one out.  We may think of ourselves as having not much confidence, but in that thought, it's all about us.  Our pride in ourselves. Our self-centeredness.   God's Word says that we can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens us.  It also says in Him we live and move and breathe.

So when we feel depressed, or have low self-esteem, it is only pride in ourselves that we are falling prey to.   There is a difference between pride in ourselves and giving glory to God for the ability He placed in us to succeed and to be able to do all that He has for us.  HE gives us the ability.  Our glory should go to Him alone, not to ourselves.

Something to elaborate on another day.  For now, gotta go and get ready to walk Sheeba.   Wherever you are in your emotions, your feelings, always praise God.  He created you, and nothing you do has ever surprised Him.  He knows what you are going to do, even before you do it. He knows it.  And He's waiting for you to turn to Him for His help, and to give Him glory.

Hallelujah!  He deserves all the glory.  

I've gone from struggling to stay awake....

 to smiling this morning.  I just read my son's blog, and I'm praising God for answered prayers!  (I'm still waiting for his birth certificate to show up).  I'll talk about that in a moment, but a few other comments first.

Here I am this morning, for some unknown reason, feeling really tired this morning.  I think I slept well enough, but I did have an extremely busy day at work yesterday making organizational charts in the afternoon which requires a lot of concentration to make sure you get everything right.  I also worked out with some of my light weights, trying to build up my strength.  I also walked Sheeba about a half mile further than I have for awhile.  Did that all contribute to my tiredness?  Probably.

Struggling to stay awake - and not succeeding really well.  I did my reading, closed my eyes as I was praying, and then my fitbit starts buzzing as it has different alarms set on it - intentionally.  My fitbit wakes me at 4:05AM (cause I usually set the alarm on the clock for 4AM and if I woke up before, I was afraid I'd not get up right away).  Then it goes off I think at 4:15 to make sure I'm up.  Then it goes until 5:00, then 5:30AM.  The last one woke me just now.  So I pull out my computer to read my son's blog first, and that wakes me up and I am smiling.

He posted a photo of our beautiful little great granddaughter.  She is priceless.  So full of life and joy and wonder.  Because he mentioned more were posted on facebook, I just had to go so see!  Then he shares another surprise.

I think I talked about surprises a post or so ago.  How God surprises us sometimes.  I think I used another word, but that escapes me at the moment.  But my son got surprised.  An answer to prayers.  His wife had gone over to work on their old house - and found a stack of cards which she brought over to him.  In this stack of cards were business cards, unused gift cards, and..... his social security card. (Thank you, Jesus!)  Now he can contact the workplace that he had hopes of working for and get started working.  He has had such difficulty trying to get his birth certificate (still unfound) and a replacement for his social security card since the pandemic has closed everything.  

I love surprises.  I love it when we don't know if God will answer, we wish He would, we believe He can, but don't know if He will.  And He does.  Yes, this was probably just a simple misplacement of business cards, gifts cards, and the social security card that probably fell out of my son's wallet several months ago.  He hadn't missed any of them.  You know how it is with us women and our purses.  Don't ask me what I have in mine.  In fact, I rarely carry it with me now.  I have everything stuck in my phone so don't need the pens/pencils/papers/kleenex/etc. that I stick in there.  Now I'll carry it when I go back to work, but just running to the store, I don't need it.  

Anyway, I can't tell you what all I have in it.  And I imagine most men could not tell you what they have in their wallets.  They do the same thing we do - they search to see if something is in there.  And, if it falls out, more than likely unless it is something you use frequently, you won't even miss it.

What if it had fallen directly into the trash?  It was behind the trash can.  What if my daughter in love had picked it up and put in the trash, not going through it?  No one would have ever known his social security card was in that stack, had she not checked to see what was all there.   All I can say is 'thank you, God, that You heard prayers for this simple little card that was creating such havoc in my son's life, and You kept it from falling into the trash many months ago, so that my son could have a 'surprise' moment.'   We don't know why the delay.  We don't know why it fell out.  We don't need to know. All we need to understand, is that You allowed it to be found.  Thank you.

Yeah, see what I love surprises?   My prayer for you is that you will keep your heart, mind, and eyes open to see what our Heavenly Father wants to surprise you with today.  It may be just a smile from a stranger that causes you to smile back.  It may be an open door as you need to walk through it.  It may be a photo of a little loved one who pulls on the strings of your heart.  Whatever it is, enjoy the moment, for it is one our Father loves to give you.

Be ready.  Surprises do happen!

Blessings!

A new sanctuary, perhaps?

I love my new house, I really do.  It's starting to get that "lived in" look and I need to get things put away and remove some of the clutter that is starting to happen.  Part of it is because I have started my Christmas shopping.  I have to.  I have a lot of people to buy for and this year it has to be smaller than in the past, so I have started early.  By doing so I may pay a little more for things, but since I'm buying via Amazon, their price wouldn't change.  They don't have 'black Friday sales' - I don't think.  Oh wait, I think they do!  I just choose NOT to participate on those days because I could get carried away.  Why?  Because I love to give and I love to find the unusual and surprise those I love.  

I still remember a pair of golf sandals I bought for my middle child.  He was so surprised and the look on his face was priceless.  I've surprised the other two as well, I think, but there is a difference in how they express themselves.  It is getting harder and harder to find things within my price range that will surprise and bring joy.  So I just look and if I find something I think they will like, I get it.  Difference now is that I also try to find something that is useful.  Why buy something to set on a shelf or throw in a drawer, never to use?  I've done that way too much.

But back to my house.  Yesterday my son-in-law got a start on MY wishes.  He brought gardeners over to pull out bushes and cut out dead areas on a tree in our court area.  It looks almost bare now, with the big bushes gone.  I realize they were just decorative, but I didn't care for them.  They had no fragrance, nothing but being there and being decorative.   I want my roses back.  I want to smell the fragrance in the air when life is hard.  I want to sit out in the lawn chair and close my eyes and allow the flowers to cause me to relax and dream.

The roses won't be planted for a few weeks yet and for now my sanctuary looks bare.  I enjoy going out in the middle of a busy day and even though the sun may be burning down, I will lay down on a lawn chair and allow the sun to penetrate until I get too warm.  And now that the weather has cooled down, I love to just go out and sit and enjoy the quietness of the day.  Except I have to keep an eye on Sheeba.  Yeah, she usually goes with me.  All I have to say is "Sheeba, do you want to go out front?" and off she runs to the front door.  In the front, because of the fencing, she doesn't have to be leashed and is free to roam.  But in doing so, she constantly hears "no, Sheeba! Get out of there!" as she tried to find a bug under a bush.  Or tree.

I have shared with my son-in-law my dream of the sanctuary, how I would like to see it, and he has acted on it.  Over the next couple of months things will begin to be planted and life will happen in my sanctuary.   The gardeners told us they will stop by every month to make sure every thing stays trimmed and as it should be.  I'm grateful for that.  Yes, I'll have to pay them, but that's ok.  I get to enjoy the works of their hands.  I cannot trim trees or bushes.  I can plant, yes, but then what?  I would rather allow someone who knows what they are doing to take care of them for me.

So by spring, I am hoping my sanctuary will be complete.   

But we have another sanctuary within us.   One that houses our spirit.  Sometimes we need to clean up that sanctuary as well.  Did you know that our bodies are a sanctuary for God?  What we put into our bodies either honors God, or not.  I think sometimes we think too much of our bodies, and what we put in it and on it.  But, what we do with our bodies is unto God.

I know that I have not always been faithful to keep this sanctuary as clean as I should.  I allow anger or distrust or my opinions to distort it.  I fill it with food that isn't good for it.  Or I eat too much of the good food.  I don't exercise it like I should.  This body has served me well, and now every day I am reminded that it isn't as young as it used to be.  This pandemic has been hard on everyone, including me.  With being home I have eaten more - or less - than I should.  I haven't gotten the walking in that I was doing before the pandemic.  Yes, I'm walking Sheeba in the mornings but most mornings I only get a mile in - I walked more than a mile in the office when I was there!

There is a song.... hopefully I can remember all the words, "Lord, prepare me, to be a sanctuary, pure and holy, tried and true.  With thanksgiving, I want to be a living sanctuary, for You."   I'm sure I've gotten some of the words wrong, but when I sing it when I walk sometimes, I know God knows my heart and knows that is my heart's desire.  I want my heart to be His sanctuary, that He will dwell within me, and live through me.

He has a tough job with me.  I have a lot of stuff I need to let go of, inside as well as around this house. But my desire to be His, is greater than to be mine.   

Where is your sanctuary at?  Do you have a garden or a place you can just go and be alone with God?  Do you still your heart and mind and let everything go and allow Him to speak to you?  You don't have to have a specific location, you can sit in a chair and just allow God to love you.  He does, you know.  No matter where you are in life.

Clean out the closets of your sanctuary.  Take some time today and 'Let Go, and Let God' meet you, right where you are.  In your own little sanctuary.

Blessings.

What if I did dream?

 When you were growing up, did you dream?  I don't mean those stories that come into our minds at night as we sleep, but did you dream?  You know, the dream of who you would become, the dream of what you would be, the dream of what you could accomplish.

You are living the results of that dream.  Such as it is in some cases.  I must admit, the life I have now is not the dream I had once dreamed.  Not that life is so bad, or so good, but it is different.

I read my son's blog this morning and it brought tears to my eyes for I see such potential in him, and for the first time, I realize that he knows he has that potential.  Much delayed, he still can have his dream.  Or even a part of it.

Each of my children have had their own dreams.  The oldest always wanted to be a teacher, and she was able to realize that dream, even for a short time.  She was able to teach for a few years, and now is able to help her daughter as she begins to teach.  God is using my daughter to pass on to her daughter the gifts and talent and knowledge that she has learned.  School is hard, and with the pandemic, it is much harder on teachers to be able to teach and keep their student's attention.  I'm sure my granddaughter is grateful for the side help.  My daughter is passing on her love of teaching to her daughter, and is still getting to live her dream.

My middle child has always had a tender heart, although he has always tried to be the tough guy.  Today I learned something about him that I didn't know.  When he graduated high school, the suggestion that we take a college class together gave me the confidence to do something I would never have done.  I took a college class.  He ended up dropping out and getting married, finding a job.  But I continued and took all the English classes I could (101, 102, 201, 202).  He gave me confidence that I could take a college class, when I had been told as I was growing up that I wasn't college material, that my job was to get married and have children, not to be successful, not to have a career.  Just that short time we took the class together brought me much joy.  I know he didn't want to quit, but responsibility called, and I could not fault him for that.  I still have great dreams for this child; I know he can be successful at writing if he would have the confidence in himself.  He is capable of so much more than he allows himself to do.  He is smart and witty and has a way of sharing stories that people hang on to his words.

My youngest child.  This child has been such a joy to so many people, and a pain in the axx to so many others.  He struggles so with sensitivity and pain of the unknown.  He is so strong in spirit, but he does not realize his strength.  He chooses to allow other people to push him to where he feels worthless.  So he chooses to be with others who 'build him up' and yet, pull him away from those who love him the most.  He is my Army boy, and now getting to retire, has made this mama so proud.  There is still so much about this child that I cannot grasp.  He keeps so much inside of himself that he finds his only outlet is alcohol.   It used to be worse, much worse, in his teenage years, so I am grateful for the Army.  I know this child knows his destiny, what he was called to do, who he was to be.  It is who he is and he cannot escape it, though he tries.  He won't let himself be who God created him to be.  He allows people and life to pull him back.  He retires from the Army Reserves today, in fact.  22 years.  I am so proud of him and that he stuck to it through thick and thin.   My prayer for him is that he would open his eyes and begin to live for the very first time in his life.  Not in his troubled mixed up life, but in his love of life.  

What were my dreams when I was growing up?  I'm not sure that I really had any dreams other than for my love of books, I wanted to be a librarian.  I wanted to be a writer.  Books help me live life.  The Bible is one I read every day, of course.  But I have found fictional books just aren't my thing so much.  Never has been, although in high school I read every Grace Livingston Hill book they had in the library, every Phyllis Whitney book - and I forget her other pen name.  Those were the books I read growing up.  I could read a 1-2 inch book a day.  I was an avid reader and that was how I escaped the life I had as a child, a teenager.  I read to escape into another world.  I have learned to be a character in each story I read.  Do you do that?

I have a couple friends who are authors and have published books.  I've read more of one than the other.  One writes stories of faith and love.  Many are short and easy reads, but they are long enough to give one a hope in life.  The other friend I have known for years, and although I have read her first rough draft many years ago, I have never bought her books, and probably won't.  Her books are, let's say, 'hot' enough to burn all by themselves.  Great love stories, but the intimate details are much more than I care to read.  But she is still my friend.  I just don't want to read those kind of books anymore.

Most of the books I read now are by Christian authors that I learn how to live from.  Some give great information and as you can remember, I have sometimes put some of their stories in here.  They help me when I am at my lowest point.  When I get discouraged, depressed, lonely, and in despair.  Life is very hard sometimes and most times I don't know what to do.  I need people to speak life into me, and my books do.

Maybe some day I will start that book that I always wanted to write.  It doesn't have to be lengthy.  It just has to be written.  Some day.

What was your dream?  The question reminds me of 'Pretty Woman' with the man walking across the street saying "What's your dream?"   Are you living your dream?  Are you going to?

Something to think about.

It went fast..... did we have a weekend?

 It's too bad our weekends are only two days - it is just not long enough.   Unfortunately, I don't feel like I got much done.  This was one of those weekends where I planned to do things, but.  Oh yeah, I DID get a couple things done.  For one, I was able to connect with my little sister to show her how to crochet.   We were on facetime for an hour..... but I guess I just can't show/explain very well, for she was still having difficulty.... but I believe it is more trying to do it looking at a screen...and a little one at that.  Then again... I told her to try You-Tube, and that would be also looking at a screen.  But the difference is that she can stop and replay the same stitch over and over until she got it.  I've done that.  In very.slow.motion.

My daughter and son-in-law brought over more boxes yesterday and it looks like the china I have been waiting to arrive, but I didn't even attempt to go through any of the boxes.  The atmosphere just didn't feel right to get started, and usually I get the 'Sunday is for rest' comment.  And I've used it for my son-in-law too when he wanted to come over and do something.  I tell him to take the day and just rest.  I would like to get started on it one evening this week, but will see.  Back to work today and I know I have several things I need to get done already.

I came across this story in my devotions this morning and I want to share" it.  

It has been a long time since Horace Walpole smiled. (sound like someone you know?) Too long.  Life for him had become as drab as the weather in dreary old England.  Then, on a grim winter day in 1754, while reading a Persian fairy tale, his smile returned.  He wrote his longtime friend, Horace Mann, telling him of the "thrilling approach to life" he had discovered from the folk tale.....how it had freed him from his dark prison of gloom.

The ancient tale told of three princes from the island of Ceylon who set out on a pursuit of great treasures. They never found that for which they searched, but en route they were continually surprised by delights whey had never anticipated.  While looking for one thing, they found another.

The original name of Ceylon was Serendip, which explains the title of this story - "The Three Princes of Serendip." From that, Wadpole coined the wonderful word serendipity.  And from then on, his most significant and valued experiences were those that happened to him while he was least expecting them.

Seren-dip-ity- the dip of the serene into the common of the serendipities of life.  Serendipity occurs when something beautiful breaks through the monotonous and the mundane.  A serendipitous life is marked by "surprisability" and spontaneity.  When we lose our capacity for either, we settle into life's ruts.  We expect little, and we are seldom disappointed.  

Unfortunately, I know of a few people like that.  They don't expect anything to be beautiful and surprising in their life and some don't even want the 'change'.  They like grumpy.  They like things never to change, but to be mundane.

Now I have walked with God for several years and I know I love the surprises that He gives me.  Sometimes on a daily basis.  Seeing the sun rise over the horizon may not be a 'surprise' to people, but it is a beautiful awakening to a new day.  Or seeing how the colors play out in a beautiful sunset. Again, it may not be a surprise, but it can bring joy to an otherwise uneventful - or eventful - day.   It's like God opening a book for us, and closing it when it's over.

But what do you do in those "open book" times?  Where are your thoughts?  What are you doing?  Did something unexpected happen that maybe stirred your heart for just a moment?  

Perhaps it was reading something that was more than entertainment, but like me this morning, reading a story that gave you an 'aha' moment.  Perhaps it was something in the mail today that brought a smile to your face.  Or perhaps a phone call from a grandchild that can always bring a longing and a smile.  Things that we least expect, when they happen, don't take them for granted.  They are God's little surprises for you, just for today.

Mark Batterson in one of his books has a chapter titled "Surprise me". I know I have written about it when I read it some time ago.  I think I'm ready to read that book again, since I've started rereading some that I enjoyed before (although I think I have read his books 2-3 or more times already).  Surprise me.  What does that mean?

Could it be an opportunity for you to surprise someone?  Call your spouse and offer to take the time to bring them lunch, or take them out for a quick lunch.  Do something special for one of your children.  What would 'serendipity' mean to them?  What does it mean to you?

I don't know that I would think of it as serendipitous, that word isn't one I use in every day language.  But I do like the word surprise.   And I love it when God surprises me.

Let's keep our eyes open today, and see what will be serendipity for you.  Watch for it.  It may be right in front of you.  Don't settle into the rut.  Smile.  It can change your entire day.

Have a serendipitous day!

I ain't gonna....

 I'm still flipping back and forth, but I ain't gonna walk Sheeba today.  It is starting to get light, and hubby left about 15 minutes ago to go to a meeting on the east side of town.  I hear Sheeba stirring, wanting out of her crate, and I will stop here in a minute to take her outside for business.  But walking, I don't want to today.  And today we could really walk far.  But I love my time in my home alone.  Well, sorta alone.

Most people don't understand that.  Maybe I'll make cookies this morning and put in the freezer.  Maybe I can get some unpacking done without interruptions.  Maybe I can just be still for a little while and meditate.  Or at least write this.

Oh - well, I will be calling my little sister around 8AM our time - face-time, in fact.  Unless she blows me off again.   She has been wanting to learn to knit/crochet.  Now I am no expert by any means in either area, but it is something I enjoy and I do one or the other nearly every day.  Mostly crochet though.  Every time I have scheduled a time to show her, she blows it off and says she can't.  She has to do this or that and can't do it.  I finally asked her if she had the knitting and crochet thread that I had sent her with hooks.  Yes, she had both.  I don't know which one we will do today, but I think I'll start with crochet.  All I know is the double stitch and the granny stitch, but will try to 'teach' her the double stitch.  I really do want to learn new stitches, but just haven't.

We went out and bought a new ladder last weekend and this week hubby finally got a couple boxes of books put on the bookcases.  I still have two boxes of books in the garage to bring in.  Yeah.  I have a lot of books.  But I love books.  I've read at least over half of them at some point.  Most I am sure I have forgotten, but then, it gives me a new book to read when I don't want to buy something.  In fact, at this time I am re-reading two books.    It's ok about the ladder - it has a handle to steady oneself plus it has a platform to stand on.   I need to bring in the other two boxes from the garage so that those can get put up today or next week.

Since hubby is gone for a couple hours this morning, I want to get some things done that he won't let me do during the week.  Hanging up a couple pictures, etc.  I understand he wants to help me, but I am a big girl and perfectly capable of doing SOMETHING.   This is how he works to take away my joy.  He did that to me a few weeks ago.  I had several pictures laid out to be hung up and ... well,  he decided he was going to do it one day.  We fought for sure.  In one area he only hung up what he wanted hung.  Left off some of the others.  Then he had to hang up all the senior photos.  He would fuss at me to tell him where to put them, and he did put them there, but fussed at me the entire time.  If he had left them alone, it would have made things better.  I understand he wants to help.  But I want to do some things too and he fusses at me when I do.  And especially when I let my son-in-law and grandson help instead of asking him - oh my.

I have started a list of things that need to be taken care of.  Several items are on it and many of them we have to wait for the son-in-law or grandson to take care of.  When I've been asked if I need something done, I can't think of anything urgently so always tell them not now.  I know they both are extremely busy and I hate pulling them away for 'my things' that are not urgent.  I know they will get to it at some point.

Well, Sheeba is wanting out so I need to take her outside before she goes in her 'cave' (which is what our trainer calls it).  I still ain't gonna walk her - it's just getting light out, but I want to get started on what I can before hubby gets back.

Have a great Saturday!

I Got Nothing.

 This morning it feels like I have nothing to say. I'm tired and have been struggling to stay awake throughout my quiet time.  My eyes frequently wanted to close.  My bedtime last night was around 9PM, yes, a little later than usual, but no big deal.  We've stayed up until 10PM and I've been fine.   Oh my goodness, I sound like 'old folk' don't I!  But with getting up at 4AM, I simply cannot stay up late as I used to.  My body starts shutting down.

It could be because yesterday was such a busy day with major bumps in the road throughout the day.  I had a lot I needed to get done, and yet, I couldn't work much on it because of other issues.  For one, Microsoft Teams.  I don't know what happened yesterday, but right in the middle of a critical meeting (4 hours long with people calling in at alternate times to discuss budgets), people could no longer call in.  It was reporting the meeting was "full" - with less than 12 people in it.  On Teams, you can have numerous people - we have had meetings with over 100 people so we knew it wasn't full.  Major problems.  I was getting emails from one of my bosses and people who were trying to call in.  I finally sent out a new number and got on chat with the service desk.   About an hour later I was getting another email that the same thing was happening with that new number.  Sigh.

I spent quite a bit of time on chat with the service desk.  Late in the afternoon they finally reported that Microsoft told them that they had received several tickets on this issue.  They thought a server was messing up.   They got through that meeting.

I had to stop and put this away as I knew hubby was getting ready to leave.... and he doesn't know that I have been adding to my blog before I come out of my room.  Yeah, he ended up leaving a bit before 6AM.  He has talked some of his 'men friends' to meet back at Fast Eddies at 7AM to do their study.  Which means I have some time alone on Friday morning.  Only problem is that I have to work so it doesn't make any difference.  But still, I enjoy the quietness of no one stirring.  Even Sheeba is laying at the back door quietly.

I took Sheeba out for a quick walk after hubby left and thought to myself it was such a beautiful cool morning that we would just go around 2 blocks (about a mile) and then I'd make a fresh cup of coffee and have about 20-30 minutes to sit out on the front court and let Sheeba walk around.  BUT. the treasurer of our HOA who lives across the street from us came out to walk her dog, and I got caught at the corner.  For 30 minutes.  By the time I got away from her and Sheeba fresh water, etc and to my computer it was 7:10AM.  Oh well.  

I guess it is 'nice' to know who is in charge of our HOA/COA.  We are actually a portion of the HOA and not really associated with it but stand alone as a COA.  But I forget what that is.  Condo something or other?  I dunno.  She's wanting one ofus to go on the board - and you know hubby wants to.  Anything to be in charge and in control.  Unfortunately, it sounds like we have some issues happening.  I guess the neighbor catty-corner from us doesn't keep his yard in the back next to the street clean... and I was told that rats are starting to make their way in to our area.  YIPES.  Traps are being set today by someone the COA has hired.  And in listening to her, I'm finding out what is actually covered by the COA (and she tells us we are in the RED and have been for months because everyone doesn't pay the same fees.) and what is the owner's responsibility.  I would rather just take ownership of all my property, trees, brush, etc.  But the outside of the court areas in front and back are the responsibility of the COA.  They mow the grass, cut the hedges, and I appreciate the fact that they will come inside our court area and blow the leaves/grass cuttings out of it.  

But from what my neighbor is saying, our hedges in front have been there for 20 years or more and many are starting to die and get thin.  I told her I'd just as soon get rid of them cause I think they look ugly.  She said she appreciated that I thought that way cause they want to remove them and put something that is drought-resistant there to save water (which the COA pays for).  We can't just go and do it - it has to be approved and everyone's lawn will be updated at the same time.  The problem is going to be for many, they will not want to pay to have this done, and it is at our expense, not the COA.  I'm willing to put the money out to keep our place looking nice, but she says when the letter goes out to those who are paying a lesser amount, she expects them to put their duplex up for sale.  I just looked at her and said 'fine'.  Once they are gone, we'll get someone who will pay the rate as we do and we can get things done.  Anyway - I'm more concerned about the rat situation right now and the hedges in front and back need to go.  She says they like to nestle there.  UGH.

And I do need to get busy - I have a lot to get done before the afternoon meeting - 2-5PM which I have to attend and take minutes.  On a Friday afternoon.  UGH.

Hope you have a good day - I love these cool beautiful mornings when it is just God, me, and Sheeba.  We get a lot of talking done!  When was the last time you stopped to refresh yourself in the coolness of the morning and be warmed by the sun as it arises?  Thank God for it.  It's His way of wrapping you in His arms.

Blessings!

Don't wait for that special, precise, complete - moment.

 I read this story several years ago and I know that I have even repeated it a few times.  And it bears repeating again.  I read it again in my devotions this morning.  It is shared by an Ann Wells.

My brother-in-law opened the bottom drawer of my sister's bureau and lifted out a tissue-wrapped package...He discarded the tissue and handed me the slip.  It was exquisite silk, handmade and trimmed with a cobweb of lace. The price tag with an astronomical figure was still attached.

"Jan bought this the first time we went to New York, at least eight or nine years ago.  She never wore it. She was saving it for a special occasion.  Well, I guess this is the occasion."

He took the slip from me and put it on the bed with the other clothes we were taking to the mortician. His hands lingered on the soft material for a moment, then he slammed the drawer shut and turned to me.

"Don't ever save anything for a special occasion. Every day you are alive is a special occasion."

I remembered those words through the funeral and the days that followed when i helped him and my niece attend to all the sad chores that follow an unexpected death.

I'm still thinking about his words, and they've changed my life....I'm not 'saving' anything; we use our good china and crystal for every special event - such as losing a pound, getting the sink unstopped, the first camellia blossom.

"Someday" and "one of these days" are losing their grip on my vocabulary.  If it's worth seeing or hearing or doing, I want to see and hear and do it now....I'm trying very hard not to put off, hold back, or save anything that would add laughter and luster to our lives.  And every morning when I open my eyes I tell myself that it is special.

Grabs you, doesn't it?  Makes me want to drain every last ounce of joy out of every day.  It also breaks me free from the concrete of procrastination that sets up harder every time I'm tempted to whisper to myself, "Later,.... just put it off until later."

Every day is that special day you have been waiting for.  There is a saying you hear frequently - "Every day above ground is a good day", and that's a true statement.  But it is also what you do with that day.  You can waste it doing nothing, or you can make a difference.

From the first time I read the above true story it changed how I looked at things.  I love my china and was always afraid if I used it for every day it would get broke.  It was expensive to replace.  But when I read this, I began to see it didn't matter.  If I don't enjoy what I have now, someone else will get to enjoy what I saved and hung on to.

I have used my good china for every day use.  I have used fragile glasses - and I remember the first time I used a set for guests, a young man brought it to me after dinner and very apologetically handed me the glass - in two pieces.  He had somehow snapped the thin stem on the glass.  I just looked at him and smiled and told him that was ok, thank you for letting me know.  I was more impressed that he didn't try to hide it and put it in the trash.  He didn't leave it on the table for me to find when I cleaned it off.  And he didn't draw attention, he brought it to me and handed it to me.  And you know what?  It didn't matter the glass was broke.  I put the glass in the trash and went on with life.  It didn't change anything.  Sure, I'm down one glass, but it isn't a big deal.  That's the first time I used those glasses and the lesson I learned was NOT to use them - even for teenagers!   

I unpacked those glasses a couple weeks ago and wondered why I was keeping them.  None of my kids wanted them - too fragile.  I put them in my cabinet and now hubby and I drink out of them occasionally on a daily basis.  And you know what?  I'm USING them.  I'm not saving them any longer for a special occasion.  I haven't found the box with my good china in it yet, but when I do, I will also use them on an occasional basis and not just special occasions.

What are you saving for a special occasion?  What are you holding on to, hoping to pass on to your kids and not using so that it will be in good shape for them?  They won't know how to use it because you aren't using it to show them how.  Where is the memory in the gift if it isn't being used?

I used to hold on to so many things - things my mother gave me, especially.  Now I freely give them out if I come across something.  What the recipient does with it doesn't matter.  I have passed it on for their enjoyment.  It could be a book.  It could be an outfit.  It could be jewelry.  Or it could be a special memory.

A special memory.  When was the last time you made a special memory with your family?  When was the last time you made a difference in someone's life?  When you are unable to do anything, what would you want to be remembered for?  What memory of joy are you leaving behind you?

Don't wait any longer to do that special thing.  Take that trip.  Buy that special gift.  Create a memory that will last beyond your lifetime.  DO something.    

I am.  I'm letting go of what I hold on to (and not sharing) and making new memories.  One day at a time.

Blessings!

There is always drama "somewhere"....

 There have been a few times recently that I have gotten a text or email from someone who will write "I'm dying".   Now they aren't really dying, I know that.  Yet, I know what they are feeling.  I received that comment again last night from someone close to me.  So I did my usual response to that complaint:

"You aren't dying.  You are bored and lonely.  You have things you could be doing, but you don't want to do them.  You forget about all your blessings.  You need to get your mind off yourself, dig your way out of the pit and stop trying to set up housekeeping in the dark, black pit."

Or something like that.  But the bottom line is bored and lonely.  I don't have the lonely part, and rarely the bored part, but I understand about the pit.  I get into it sometimes myself.  In fact, if you read between the lines sometimes, you can see that I often try to buy curtains and rearrange furniture in that pit to make it my home.

But God.  There is just something about God that draws me out of that pit.  I know that He is faithful.  I know that He hears me.  I know that He is always with me.  I know that He loves me.  Even when I do or say stupid things.  Even when I've sinned against Him, He forgives me and loves me even more for acknowledging my sin and running back to Him.  Back to His safe arms of love, and of comfort, and of joy.

Have you ever been doing something - something normal, perhaps, and all of a sudden you felt such joy, such an infilling of joy, of worship?  All you want to do is praise God and worship?  And it's not even Sunday?  You aren't in church?

I've had a few of those times, but this morning the one I am thinking about, and the one that has come to me frequently lately, is when we lived on Paradise.  This was a few years back, cause I haven't hiked in awhile.  But I had gone on a hike - alone - (hubby had to be gone somewhere cause he would never have let me go alone) and I had come home.  I was filled with such joy unspeakable.  Remember the song chorus "Joy unspeakable, full of glory, full of glory, full of glory?"  LOL  That just popped into my mind.

Anyway, all of a sudden I felt the urge to get into the pool and worship.  I know that sounds strange, but it was a very hot day and I was very hot from hiking.  So I changed to my swim suit and got in the pool (which I rarely did as well!) and just walked in the pool, lifting up my arms to heaven and singing and praising God.  The skies had such a glow about them that day.  I can't remember exactly what it was, but it was as if God was giving us a beautiful glimpse of heaven.  No where near close to its beauty, I assure you, but the clouds, the colors of the sky..... and all I could do was worship.

Sometimes you don't need church to worship.  You don't need to be with other people to worship.  You just need to let yourself go with God and let Him complete you, fill you, love you... and let yourself experience something special that He has for you.

God shows us in mysterious ways His love and compassion for us.  No matter who you are, what you are, or who you think you are.  No matter if you are a "Christian" or say you don't believe in God.  He loves you.

Sometimes God allows us to wait in this waiting room for Him.  We wait and wait for His response to our request.  He is giving us time to process, to put our faith in action.  Sometimes we are the ones that have to do something.

Yes, sometimes we are the ones that have to do something.  We say we are bored.  Well, are we sitting there whining we are bored - or are we finding a way to volunteer to do something?  Maybe clean up the house?  Mop the floor?  Go to the store?  DO SOMETHING.  Don't sit and whine about how bored you are.

You say you can't leave the house for whatever reason?  Have to stay home with your spouse who is ill?   DO SOMETHING.  Bake cookies and take down to the police station or fire station and thank them for taking care of your neighborhood.  Learn to knit or crochet and make baby hats for the hospital nurseries.  

But don't let the drama of your life pull you into the pit of despair.  I know about the pit of despair.  I've tried to stay there many times, but God always gives me the encouragement to get out.  I am so important to Him that He will reach His hand down to me and tell me "come on, princess, I've got you in this.  I'm here.  Never forget that."

And He's there for you.  No matter if you are at school.  No matter if you are at home.  No matter if you are at work.  No matter where you are, God is reaching His compassionate hand out to you, telling you, "I've got you in this.  I'm here.  You aren't alone."

Thank you, Jesus, for always loving me, and offering me grace, even when I don't deserve it.  As You reach your hand down to me, help me to grab hold of Your precious nail-scarred hand, and allow You to pull me up out of the drama of my life.  I love you."

Stop sitting in your drama.  Grab hold of His hand and hang on for the ride.  It may not be easy, but He will walk you through it.

Blessings!

I didn't want to get up this morning!

 I awoke early at 3AM this morning, but this time I didn't get up.  I told myself 'no' and turned back over.  My alarm went off at 4AM.  Then at 4:05AM. Then at 4:15Am.  And I laid there and just asked God if I could get 10 more minutes.  Next thing I knew hubby is getting up around 4:30AM so up I jumped to get here in my room so that I could have my quiet time.  

We went to bed around 9PM last night - I think - why am I so tired?  Oh yeah.  I went for a deep massage last night.  The masseuse worked hard on my back for sure; I'm always being asked why is my back so tight.  Could it be because of all the stress I have to carry around?  I'm sure it is, for I have a lot of stress with this job.  And even more stress with my home life.  Why I let the little things get to me, I'll never know in this lifetime, but some people just irritate the heck out of you at times - do you have someone in your life like that?  It's not all the time, and not every day.  But sometimes you just want to hang them out to dry, right?

Anyway, I just didn't want to get up and moving.  I should have, for now I feel like I'm running late - and in reality I'm not.  I didn't walk Sheeba yesterday.  I should have, and would have, except she wouldn't go pee when I took her out first thing.  She was being stubborn yesterday.  It's bad enough I have to pick up her poop; I don't want to leave a trail of pee on the sidewalk.  So I told her, if you don't go pee, we ain't going to walk.  She just continued to chase bugs.   So after about 15 minutes I brought her back in as it was too late to get started then.  Sat out on the front patio for about ten minutes then came in to get my computer up and going for work.   And my day started with a meeting with my boss.  It was a good meeting; we meet on Teams once a month to see each other face to face, although we see each other in meetings with other people. This is OUR meeting, where we can chat about things about US.  We're hoping to meet October 2nd and have breakfast together somewhere.  It will be so good to see her.  I'll have a lot of work catch up to do - even though one boss will be out on PTO that day (which is why I chose it), I will be losing work time and I know I will need to catch it up.  Then on October 5th, I'm hoping to meet some friends at the office in Mesa and catch up with them.  Yes, it's a drive, and I may put it off until closer to Christmas and make it a Christmas celebration with them.  I don't know.  I'm hesitant to take the time off work, even though my bosses don't care.  They know I'll make up my time - and do more than my 40 hours a week already as I work my lunch hours most days.

I read an interesting piece in my devotions this morning.  It is from James 1:22-25.  Go to BibleGateway.com and look it up.   It's from Charles Swindoll's devotional, "The Finishing Touch".  He posted an article that he had found called 'The Lesson'.

"Then Jesus took his disciples up the mountain and gathering them around him, he taught them, saying: Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are the meek. Blessed are they that mourn. Blessed are the merciful. Blessed are they who thirst for justice. Blessed are you when persecuted. Blessed are you when you suffer. Be glad and rejoice for your reward is great in heaven.

Then Simon Peter said....... Do we have to write this down?

And Andrew said.... Are we supposed to know this?

And James said... Will we have a test on this?

And Philip said.... I don't have any paper.

And Bartholomew said... Do we have to turn this in?

And John said... The other disciples didn't have to learn this.

And Matthew said.... Can I go to the boy's room?

And Judas said... What does this have to do with real life?

And Jesus wept.  Sometimes I think I can still hear Him weeping."

I found the above 'lesson' interesting.  How many times do we read or listen to things, then go off to do our 'own thing'.  We talk, talk, talk about doing, but that is as far as it goes.  Are we involved in life?  I don't mean our personal lives, but are we involved with other people and their lives.  Do we care for other people like we should.  These are statements, but they are really questions.  I have to admit with COVID, I am not involved as I used to be.  And that makes me sad.  I love to help people and even now when I hear of people in need (real need, not just wanting), my heart strings get tugged.  Some times I just have to tell myself 'no'.  Just because people WANT something, doesn't mean that I need to provide it.  But if I can bless them with it, that's a different thing.

I miss the social interaction of being at the office.  And it will be back in place before I know it.  We got another email yesterday that stated we will more than likely be in our new offices in January. At least we can get through the holidays here at home.  I imagine I may have to make a trip or two before then, to get set up, but that's ok.  I'll at least be able to find my way.  I truly do not like going some place I don't know where I'm going.  Yes, I AM directionally challenged, however, finding the place, then finding the building, then finding the floor, then finding the office..... those things just don't appeal to me.  But sometimes I gotta suck it up and 'just do it'.

I didn't get my 10,000 steps in yesterday since I didn't walk Sheeba and we got massages last night so this morning I need to get my butt moving and try to get in a long walk.  She better pee when I take her out this morning!! I got things to do!

So what are you doing today?  Will it be 'life as usual'? Or will you make a difference in someone's life - even if it is your spouse or your child's?  Be meaningful.  Be purposeful.  Be true.

Blessings!

It was an early Monday morning.....

 Yeah, I may have slept until 5:15AM yesterday, but it was 2:20AM that I awoke this morning and struggled to go back to sleep.  I finally arose at 3AM because I couldn't sleep, no matter how hard I tried.  So I came into my room and glanced at my phone, in case there was something my kids might have sent after I went to bed.  I did go to bed around 8:15PM last night.  Will explain that later.   Anyway, no messages other than Fitbit telling me the challenge for the week had started and I was 11 steps ahead of my daughter.  At 3AM?  Give me a break!  She must have gone to the bathroom in the middle of the night and Fitbit counted 11 steps.  LOL  

Anyway, I check Facebook real quick (which I normally do NOT do in the mornings, but it WAS 3AM, and I figured God got me up for a reason, cause I was still sleepy!  Pastor Dean Ward, a friend of mine who lives in Pennsylvania, was doing his morning 'watch party'.  He is 3 hours ahead and he had just started.  He just chatted this morning; usually he has a short message he shares.  He had errands to run and needed to get started so just shared a few things.  I watched the 15 minutes he was on and sent him a note that 3AM was just too early to get up to watch him.  It will be fun to read what he responds.

Pastor Steve Chiles, my mentor and dearest friend, comes on at 10AM every Wednesday on Facebook.  His messages are called 'Stories from the Heart', I think it is.  But I always love to hear him.  I don't always catch him as I am working.  Or is it 12PM he comes on.  I can't remember - it's 2 hours difference for us and when I get the facebook reminder, it depends on what I am doing if I watch  him or not. 

Another pastor friend, Pastor Terry Ardizzone also has a short message and I think it is daily, but I don't always catch him.  Right now they are sketchy.  He lives in Lake Charles that got hit by Hurricane Laura.  He got some damage on his home and on the church, but not extensive.  He lives on what he calls Ardizzone Acres.  I don't know how much land he has, but several acres, I think.  He showed photos the other day of several very large trees that had been there forever that had been uprooted.  He is an avid hunter and pastor and is currently coordinating relief efforts from his church to the entire community.  

Both Pastor Dean and Pastor Terry have stayed with us a couple times when Pastor Steve was our pastor in town.   The three get together and do a sermon series study for the following year, spending a week together.  I fixed taco soup one night and salsa for them while they were here.  They made me smile when they both asked for the recipes and Pastor Dean would send me emails they were having taco soup frequently at his house, while Pastor Terry said he was always making my salsa.  In fact, it is tradition for them now that when the three pastors get together wherever they meet up - which is anywhere - Pastor Terry will call or text me and say they are at the grocer store, picking up ingredients for him to make salsa when they got back to where they were staying.  That is my attachment with them.  And I love it.  It always makes me smile when I think about it.

It's been awhile since I've made my salsa.  It used to be my kids wanted it all the time, but I guess it has run its course.  And that's ok.  I usually make up about 16 pints and a few quarts of it at Christmas time and tell them to take what they want.  And they do.  I give a lot of it away as well to friends at work who like it.  

One friend reminded me the other day that she is missing my gingersnap cookies.  We have tentatively made plans to meet up at the office on October 5th so I hope to remember and make some to take to her when we go.  That is just how I roll.  If someone says they like something I make, I will make it for them.  My boss likes my salsa, and my cheeseball, and my bread and butter pickles.  When she has a family gathering (well, when we saw each other on a daily basis) she would ask if I could make her some.  And I do.  I don't mind.  I know all her family, after all, we've worked together 30 years or so.

It is now 5:30AM.  I've done my Bible reading, done some praying, tried to sleep again for a quick nap.  Hubby brought my coffee in about 4:45-ish I think it was and it's gone.  I think today may be a two -cup morning.  It is still pretty dark out so won't be taking Sheeba out for a walk for another 45 minutes or so.  I didn't take her walking yesterday and she wasn't real happy about that.

I could have walked her yesterday, but we did sleep a little later than usual (which is probably why I woke up so early today) and I didn't have much time before watching Pastor Jentezen Franklin.  Yesterday's service had me crying from the songs through most of the message.  I'm not sure what that was all about, but I couldn't stop my tears from falling.  Great message.  PLEASE look him up on Facebook (Jentezen Franklin or Free Chapel Church) and watch it.  Great message, and I do plan to watch it again this week.  Thought about it this morning but wanted to stick to my routine.

Today I am back at work at 7AM.  What am I going to do when I have to leave the house at 6AM again to get to work.  I will do it, and once I get back into THAT routine, it will be ok.  It's just the thought I can't sit here in my pajamas until I get ready to walk Sheeba; and in fact, I won't be able to walk Sheeba and hubby just doesn't do it.  He doesn't want to deal with it.  And she is his dog.   I feel bad for Sheeba because I will be gone all day.  Not that she requires a lot of care, but hubby doesn't like his day interrupted, and with me being home, I've taken care of her.  Now her meals he has pretty much done, but for walking, naw, it's been me.  That makes me sad cause I can't do it once I go back to work.  And it's good for me too.

I'm sitting here thinking that if someone asked me what was so special about Pastor Jentezen's message yesterday that got to me, I don't know how to answer that.  Most Sundays it is a 'good' message.  Yesterday it was better than good.  I remember hearing about how much Jesus loves me.  He loved me so much He died for me.  Yes, we all know that.  But the way the songs were sung, the way the message was preached.... well, I challenge YOU to listen to it.  I would be interested in how you respond to it.  And don't be hard-nosed about it.  Be open to hearing - and believing.  God is so good.  He is so faithful.  Even when we don't believe He can, He always will.

I remember when a friend of mine years ago was separated a short time and she said she had a stack of bills to pay and didn't know what to do.  She prayed and asked God to help her with paying the bills and show her what she needed to pay.  And He did.  He provided all that she needed - and she even was able to tithe that week.  No, God didn't bring a handful of money to her.  She paid what she could, but she asked God what He thought she should pay, and she did.  She had the faith, and belief, that if she asked, He would provide.  And He did.

And He always will.  But first, we have to ask.

Blessings!

Whew! So glad it is Sunday!

 I didn't wake up this morning (to get up) until 5:15AM.  I'm usually up around 4AM, but I was so tired last night from getting up early yesterday, walking Sheeba, unpacking 4-6 boxes (who counts - they just keep coming!) going out to dinner last night to celebrate the son-in-law's birthday - which is today. I was very tired so after we got home and sat down for a little bit, I went to bed.  It was still about average time - I range 8:30ish-9:30ish anyway.   I woke up at 10:25PM, a couple other times I didn't bother to look at the clock, and 3:30AM, and finally 5:15AM.  I jumped up and made my way into 'my room'.

I've done my reading and praying, and here I am again on this.  I'm going to miss this routine in a few months.  Things will get more difficult.  Not sure if I've mentioned it before, but it has started weighing heavily upon me.

We will be going back to the office by the first of the year.  But at least I won't have to drive to Mesa, as they are looking to rent a couple floors at Central and Thomas.  I remember writing about this now, but bear with me.  Like I said, it is weighing heavily upon me.  Not the going back to work and the drive and all.  What is weighing heavily is I will be losing my time in the mornings that I have to myself.

Now I can easily spend 2-3 hours in here if I want - and usually it is around 2 hours (if I stop to take Sheeba out for a walk during the week).  I love this time.  This is why I get up at 4AM so that I can have this time.  Hubby gets up shortly after I do and makes me a cup of coffee and brings in to me, and then I am alone for as long as I'm in here.  I have time that I can type in here if I think I have something to say.  Ok, I guess I write in here even when I don't have anything to say.

This morning when I awoke at 5:15AM I about panicked.  Yes, I did.  I came into my room as usual and sat down, got my Bible out and a couple books I like to read in.  I reach over to take my daily pills that I keep in a plastic container by day (see, I AM getting old!)  and I see that Sunday hasn't been opened and emptied yet.  I'm puzzled.  I think to myself 'did I forget to take my pills yesterday?'.  I sit here for a few moments and I realize that I hadn't forgotten to take yesterday's pills - Sunday is today!  WHEW!  But it wasn't so much about missing Sunday's pills.  The anguish I felt in those few seconds before I realized that Sunday is today, is that I only had a short time before I had to start work at 7AM and I had slept too long.

How am I going to do this when I do start work?  I'm so used to having this time to just be with God each morning, and I'm going to lose over an hour of that time.  That is causing me much anguish.  I've gotten used to spending more time with Him and now I'm going to lose it.  My schedule has been 4AM up and into my room.  I come out around 6AM to get dressed and take Sheeba for a quick walk and I'm on the computer by 7AM.  When I go back to work, if I keep my current 4AM get up time, I will again have to stop by 5AM, get ready for work and head out the door by 6AM so that I can get to work by 7AM.  And Sheeba doesn't get to walk.  I don't know why hubby just won't take her for a walk.  She is his dog, he wanted her, and now he leaves the walking to me.  

That is the schedule I had before COVID and I was living on Paradise and wI doorking in Mesa.  Up at 4AM, quiet time until 5AM, get dressed and out the door by 6AM.  Heaven forbid if I was running a little late because hubby would open the door and ask if I was ok because I wasn't out there by 6AM and I as messing up HIS schedule.  That always irritated me.  I would just tell him I was fine and that if I was running a little late it was perfectly ok.  I am salaried, so when I get there, if I'm late, I'll make up my time.  GET OUT OF MY ROOM!  (you can just see that happening, can't you!)

I know hubby doesn't want me to quit work.  He has made it obvious.  He likes the financial freedom he has (especially now since our expenses are way down and money isn't so tight) with me bringing home a paycheck.  He likes that I am stuck in this room working, yet close by where he can interrupt if he wants to ask me something.  Close by enough that he knows what I'm doing and I'm still under his thumb.  I'm home to take care of Sheeba so that he can go places and meet his friends for breakfast or lunch and not worry about Sheeba.  And he doesn't have to walk her.   

And that makes me sad.   Yes, it would be a very financial strain for me to quit my job.  I have a very good job.  And once I'm back in the office I may decide I don't want to quit.  I love the socialization and being home does not allow me the ability to get out alone very often and it doesn't allow me time to make friends or be with friends because if he isn't out, then he doesn't want me to go out.   But the stress of this job and the level it has become is very much out of my skill set.  I'm having to learn new things and my 'don't want to learn it' gets in the way a lot of times.  You've heard of Microsoft Teams?  Yeah, that is a new thing and I'm having to learn it - but I don't want to take the time to learn it.  It's a great tool, don't get me wrong!  I just don't want to learn it.  But I have to.  I know a few basics, but people are creating these Teams and without even checking with me, I will get a notice that I have been designated as the 'owner' of these Teams and most I don't even have anything to do with it.  It's stressful and wearisome.

I do need to work as long as I can.  I will admit I like the financial freedom and it allows us to tithe to our church, even during these COVID times, and help others as we can.   Once I quit, our tithe will drop drastically.   And I love being able to give to our church and to help people out.  We have one person in our church (and I need to check on her today) that is really struggling because her husband of 40 years allowed his children from his first marriage talk him into getting an apartment alone.  Leaving her alone with only her social security, which isn't much at all.  Why?  Because they lived all these years in the house she got from her first marriage - and she never added his name to the title (is that what it is called? I can't remember).  The house is paid for (it's an old house) and has been for years - but his kids want it sold .... can you guess what they want to do with the proceeds?  Yeah.  They don't care for her even though she helped raise them.  They are in their 80's for heaven's sake!  No divorce, just separated.  No reason - he says she nagged at him.  She says he won't pick up his clothes but takes them off and lets them fall on the floor.  He leaves his dishes wherever he wants to leave them.  This couple I love dearly and have taken him to task when he stopped coming to church for awhile.  He IS old, and shouldn't be driving, but he does.  Heaven help us, he can hardly walk! And that's with a cane!  

I am just trying to pay it forward just as people as paid it forward for us.  During some of our tough times, people have brought us groceries.  People have slipped money into hubby's hands with the words 'pay it forward'.  People have given us surprise Christmas gifts.  People have loved us and cared for us.  So I pay it forward.  I've been able to do it at times and most people never find out it was me.  And I love that.  Yes, I say me, because I know what I do.  Hubby will do it sometimes, and he makes sure I know about it.  I don't want anyone to know - unless I'm asked, then I will answer.  But I love to give as I can.

My mama was always giving things, giving money when she could.  Not necessarily to me, but she would often tell me when someone took advantage of her.  She gave a niece her credit card one time to go get groceries.  So the niece not only got groceries - and quite a bit - she went and bought spa supplies and clothes and ran up about $500 on the card.  Mother did pitch a fit and made her take everything back except for the groceries.  As she should!

Oh my goodness!  I just looked at the clock and it is 7:15AM and here I sit!  Pastor Jentezen Franklin from Free Chapel has a service that begins at 6AM and 8AM  (he's in Georgia so 3 hour different right now) - and we watch the 8AM service.  I truly love this man who preaches the Word and isn't afraid to say the hard things.  I'm happy I bought the Bibles  in which he added some of his sermons to for each of my children.  My prayer is that some day they will read at least his sermons.  They are powerful and meaningful.    Our church service starts at 10:30AM so have time to have breakfast in between.  Or walk Sheeba today since I didn't get my butt moving early enough.

God is good.  I know that He has me in the palm of His hand, and He also has you there.  Snuggle into His palm and tell him your heart's pain, your heart's secrets, and even your heart's joys.  He loves to hear from you.  He sees you all the time, He already knows.  But He wants you to get it out by sharing it with Him.  Tell him.  You will never regret it because His peace will descend upon you and you will know He alone is God.

Blessings!

Alone ..... with a dog.

 Yes, I am alone for a couple hours this morning - well, except for Sheeba that is.  Hubby had an early meeting wanted to go to so left around 6:30AM I think it was.  I was in my quiet time so I finished up after he left and made ready to take Sheeba for a walk.  That was a struggle, cause I love my alone time here at home, and I really didn't want to take Sheeba for a walk.  But I sucked it up and walked her around the block.  I could have walked more, yes, because I am not on a timeline this morning, but I wanted to get back home.  And, because she did her business before we made the round by the house, I decided to stop after one block.  We were only a half mile short of our usual walk.  I didn't have any more bags with me so didn't want to take a chance on another 'dump'.  I always pick it up.

I guess really that was too much information about Sheeba, but I came home and we sat outside for a few minutes before coming in.  I fixed myself another cup of coffee and a couple eggs for breakfast, and a couple for Sheeba.  Hmmm she didn't eat hers this morning.  Great.  We'll have to dump the food later cause I don't like her eating it later.  Guess she just wasn't hungry yet.  Usually she inhales it when we put eggs in it.  Oh well.  

I started to get up and start bringing boxes in to unpack and throw away and get rid of things but remembered I didn't write in here this morning.  Not that anyone really cares, but I've kind of gotten into the habit of writing nonsense and stuff so want to keep it up, although there are times I make sense. :-)  Maybe.  So here I am, attempting to write something creative before I start on the unpacking.

Hmmm.  A song came on with the lyrics "have you been praying, and you still don't have the answer"... wow, how many of us can say that?  I know I have prayed many times and God doesn't answer.  He doesn't always give me what I ask for.  But sometimes He does answer, but I just haven't seen it yet.  He will do it in His timing, and not mine.

For example, in thinking about that statement, I prayed for years that we could leave our house on Paradise because I felt it was too expensive for us in upkeep, and there were a lot of things that needed to be done and hubby would not even attempt to do it - until something broke and then he would pay someone to fix it.  We couldn't afford that either.  We basically lived from check to check and with little in between.  It was really hard and I poured many tears into my prayers for what we should do.  But, because hubby had always been so hard about moving, I gave up hope.  I thought that would be where we were until I died.

But God.

Boom.  All of a sudden this year hubby decided we ought to move.  Out of the blue, he said it.  And as soon as my daughter and son-in-law heard those words, "I'm ready to move", they acted.  Our son-in-law and grandson started working on the house all the things that needed to be done.  And there was a lot.  Within a couple weeks it was on the market, the house was 90% packed up (thanks to my daughter who took two weeks out of her busy schedule to pack for me), and it was sold.  They had taken us to look at a few houses, but I just didn't feel the peace about living there.  I felt at one it could work, with the changes my son-in-law suggested, but it didn't work out.  

We were shown photos of this duplex.  At first I didn't think it would work because I wanted a yard for Sheeba, and there is none that she can run in (but we have 5 dog parks in this area).  I liked the layout of the duplex, but I didn't know.  So they brought us out here a couple times to let us walk through it and imagine.  And I did imagine, and I saw that it could work.  Painting and new carpeting was done.  We made the move.

Yes, I've had to get rid of a lot of "treasures", but don't ask me to identify what all I let go of because I don't remember!  Yeah, they were treasures all right - I can't even remember what they are.  I still have more things to get rid of and will when I start going through the boxes.  I get it.  I have to let go.

Just as I had let go of my dream of moving out of Paradise and to another place, God answered.  He provided this place for us.  He made it happen. He has given me all I've asked for (except for quitting work, and that will happen in its time) and more.  True, I do have a few more requests out there, but I've learned to put them in His hands and allow Him to make that decision if I need them, or if they are of any value.  Sometimes I just want what I want because I want it.  Know what I mean?  I'm sure you know exactly what I'm saying.  Our kids do it all the time (when mine were smaller, of course!)

I love our new place.  It is perfect for us.  It is roomy, it gives us our own space, and even with working from home, it has worked out.   And as long as hubby lets me make the decisions on where things go (yeah, we fight about some of that - like putting MY books on HIS bookshelves doesn't leave him much room - seriously?),  things go well.  I love being able to go sit on the front porch area and enjoy the sun, or the coolness of the air.  It's fenced in and I let Sheeba walk freely.  I just wish she'd quit eating the bugs that fly around!  All I have to do is ask "Sheeba, do you want to go out front?" and off she runs to the front door.  She's so funny.  

God has truly blessed us with this place.  Financially, we can afford this much easier than the house on Paradise.  Our landscape is done by the HOA - which I didn't want at first, but figuring what we paid for a pool guy and a landscaper every month it pays close to the same.  I love having windows that I can let light in throughout the house.  Every room has windows that we can open the shutters and let the light in and I love it.  

All the time God is good.  And all the time God answers our prayers.  It may be no, yes, or maybe, or even wait.  He had me waiting a long time before He answered my prayers to move, but He did answer and gave me my hearts desire.  A house I can make into a home.

Don't give up praying.  Don't give up asking for God's intervention into your situations.  Ask Him.  That's what He wants.  Even the simplest things, He is waiting for you just to ask.  True, the answer may be no and most of us know when we do ask for some things that the answer will be no.  But then, there are those that His answer is Yes. Trust Him.  He loves you.

Don't Quit.  Keep Praying. Keep Asking.  He's waiting.

Blessings!