A long weekend ahead

 and I have most of it planned out.  But, I also have a lot of prep yet to do in order to complete any of it!  I went to Big Lots near us yesterday to see if they had any organization materials I could use.   They didn't have what I was looking for, after all, they have some things 50% and less off and shelves are getting empty.  I think they said the Arrowhead Big Lots is the only one going out of business.  But if you need plastic bins - they have them!  We needed something to put our cans and bottles in for recycle (I've been using cardboard boxes) and found a big one I got for $6.99 (was $9.99).  I'm asking myself if I need to go back and get another.  I don't think so.  Either that or get 3-4 of them and when I clean out the garage closets, move things out of cardboard boxes into plastic bins.  It would make it easier to see what is in there.  Or I could just label the boxes when I go through them, right?  In time, in time.

I have things that must be a priority this morning  - for one, finishing up the message for tomorrow afternoon.  Typing up the song list for the service. We're doing communion as well so I need to make sure I take my Bible with me.  Ooops - just remembered I haven't charged my amplifier yet.  Hold on - let me get it and plug it in.  Whew. That's done.  That has to be my #1 priority this morning.  Wonder if I can get out of cooking breakfast.....

I also want to get in my closet this weekend sometime and clean it up.  Hubby was making comments last night when I mentioned that was my goal this weekend. Yes, he keeps his closet cleaned up; and I'll shut my mouth on smart aleck comments.  It's like this room - it's the 'catch all' when no one knows where to put anything.  My closet is the same way.  It's not so much I'm a slob or a pack-rat (no, not a hoarder!!), it's just I am still adjusting to less space than I had to store things.  Too hot to get in the garage to find space to put things away.  And that in itself is a chore I will probably attack in October.  I'm learning to let go of things. It isn't always easy.  But good grief, if it isn't being used, if it isn't being worn, and there is not thought of either in the future, get rid of it - right?  (So how are YOU doing in cleaning things out?  Started yet?)   If you think someone else can use it - ASK THEM and get it gone.  Right?

Work was still busy yesterday even with my male boss gone.  Trying to schedule meetings with senior leadership is sometimes so difficult.  But when I finished about 3:45PM, I was ready to end the day. Didn't get everything done I intended to, but I did what I could.  Of course I did have a couple errands to run yesterday, and yes, I did remember to pick up the photos.  Took some fruit and veggies up to my lovely DIL when I got off work. Always good to see her.  So glad she works close to me now.  It's easy to run things up to her when I over-cook or over-buy.  When I ask, she always says "I don't turn down goodies." LOL

Psalm 23:1 (NIV):  The Lord is my Shepherd, I lack nothing.

If you should sit back right now and think about that verse, what would you be thinking?  As I think about that verse, I think about all that God has given me.  So many things we have that we take for granted.  A home, a bed, food to eat, clothes to wear - these are all good things and we are grateful for them (thank You, Lord!), but what else?  A job, friends, a place to worship, families... and the list could go on. We all could name numerous things.  And then after you do, pause.  Do you lack for anything?  Oh we may say we lack money; but what do we do with it?  We may struggle and scrimp - but how many times are we out spending and wasting the very money we ask God for to help us pay the bills?  

I have to use my sister as an example; I've mentioned it many times before.  She is always in financial straits and she usually blames it on her husband.  Occasionally she will confess her 'addiction'.  What is her addiction?  Shopping.  Oh yes, I do my share of shopping on Amazon, don't I!  Guilty there!  I'm already getting Christmas gifts!  I said it is going to be small this year; and I'm working from that angle.  I may not succeed at that, but let's leave that there.  But, when you know how much income in coming in, and it is the same every month, and you know what the bills are, and they are the same every month... don't you think you should figure out how to save a little bit so that you can get on your feet? (erase)

But the point I'm making, is that everything we NEED, our Shepherd will provide for us.  We have to do our part, of course.  We can't take what He provides and run off on a trip.  Or buy things we don't need.  I can remember times of crying out to God in our own financial distress.  It wasn't from MY shopping, and I'll leave it there.  But that was when I threw the checkbook at hubby and told him to figure it out. I have regretted that move ever since.  He won't give the checkbook back.  I was trying to make a point; someone had to quit spending when there wasn't money in the bank.  When we had a need, God always provided.  

I will never forget the Christmas we had very little money.  Oh I was able to get things for all the children and grandchildren, but for hubby and I, there wasn't much.  And sometime during the night Christmas Eve, someone dropped off two bags full of gifts for hubby.  I don't remember what hubby got, but I got a beautiful white sweater and some candles.  I was in tears, for someone heard God tell them to do it, and they did. God provided hope for us in those gifts. He provided love.  We still don't know who did it, but I have two people in mind that I am pretty sure they could have.  I've never asked them. It doesn't matter.  There was a need, and God used them to provide it. I felt loved.

I think that is why I enjoy giving things away.  It doesn't matter if it is something I have, or something I make, or something I go out and purchase.  God has been so good to me, and I want to share His love with others.  Especially if I can do it and they don't know who it is from.  That is the most fun part of doing for others.  When they can be surprised and not know from where it came.  Oh we give when people are in need at church or work and it is shared.  But it is in those times that no one shares and God nudges you to 'do something' for them, that bring such joy to my heart.  All I have has been a gift from God.  What I do with it, is my gift back to Him.  

Have open hands.

Blessings!

I feel like a t-rex this morning

 I worked out on Wednesday, but this morning I could swear it was my shoulders and biceps/triceps!  I'm wanting to hold up my arms in a scrunched position like a t-rex because it feels more comfortable. Obviously, if that is what I am feeling, and I was working my back, or maybe it isn't so obvious - but did I actually NOT do the exercises correctly and worked the wrong area?  Whatever it is, it feels tight and puffy this morning!

I awoke at 2:24AM this morning according to my clock.  I did not want to get up; to move; but my body told me "yes, you do, and you will."  But then I couldn't go back to sleep.  I tossed and turned until about 4AM then got up and came in here.  I was so tired when I went to bed - did I sleep so deep I had enough? If so, then why do I want to curl up in this chair and go back to sleep?

I ordered photos at Walgreens and forgot them yesterday - so need to do a run up there this morning.  I have a combo box to pick up - which is in the total opposite direction.  I need to stop at Staples and drop off some returns to Amazon (yes, I'm actually returning some things).  Maybe I can ask hubby to do that for me when he returns from his Bible study.  Doesn't hurt to ask, right?  He usually does stop and do things for me when I ask - and sometimes even when I don't ask.  He knows I'm chained to the desk most days.

So looking forward to the weekend, but it's still going to be busy.  I'm hoping to get my closet started on tomorrow; doubt if I can get to it today. Still need to pick up a couple things I want to put in there to organize it.  Sunday morning is church; Sunday afternoon I speak at the facility so I need to find time to work on that message as well.  I did go through it this morning, using one I gave at the RV parks.  I still need to type out the scriptures and find 3-4 songs and type out the words for them.  We don't have music so still sing without it.  And that's ok.  Oh yeah - I need to plug in my amplifier as well to make sure it is charged.  The people in the back of the room can't hear well (well, none do - they are all OLD), and since I didn't have a microphone, I bought an amplifier, which I have already told you about in previous posts.

I want to put together my small desk for the treadmill this weekend too.  I keep thinking about asking hubby if he wants to do it - but he has shown no interest in it, only in the treadmill.  After all, what's mine is his, right?  Ownership and control.  But we need the desk set up first so that he has something to hold on to.  And me too.  There are no railings on the one I bought.  Still waiting on the pad to arrive to put under it; it should be here soon.  At least I can multi-task and read while I'm walking once the desk is up - or watch a movie - and I can probably crochet too as I will have the desk to put the yarn on. :-) 

Romans 8:28 (NKJV):  And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.

Whether I get anything accomplished this weekend or not, I know that good will come out of it.  If I need to spend more time on the message and getting it perfect for Sunday afternoon, then it is for His glory.  His purpose to reach someone in the twilight of their years.

Think about that a moment.  The twilight of their years.  When we are young we think we have all the time in the world.  But even my children are getting 'old', the youngest will turn 50 this year.  Yes, that makes me 'old' as well.  Very old.  But God has left me here for a purpose.  I don't know that I have discovered it yet.  For what purpose of His could I even fulfill?  I can do nothing without Him. But I am sure He uses me somehow, even when I don't know it.  I think that is one reason that I enjoy speaking at the RV parks and even the independent living facility - these people are in their twilight years and it is crucial for them to know Jesus NOW.  They don't have extra time to make that call; to 'wait until it is more convenient'.  Even for myself or hubby; we can be taken in a 'heartbeat'.  And so can you.  Have you pondered that thought lately?

How would you want your children to remember you?  How would you want your spouse to remember you?  How would you want your friends to remember you?  Will they know you went to heaven and was with Jesus - or will they believe you just didn't make the cut?  That could be so painful for those who love God and know that they would not have you there with them.  True, many times we don't know where people 'go' when they die.  We may know they are a 'good person' - but being a 'good person' does not get you in to heaven.  It is accepting Jesus Christ as Lord and serving Him that gets you there.  I know people who want to believe that someone who refused to believe in Jesus, in the seconds of unconsciousness before they passed - that they accepted Jesus in that timeframe.  And they could have. I don't know.  And just because someone says they are a Christian does not mean they are - if their words and actions do not show that.   We all slip up, I admit it.  Yesterday I had to call hubby out on some things he said over some commercials he was seeing.  He didn't know I could hear him; he had his headset on and thought he was 'mumbling', he said.  But I called him out last night on it and told him he doesn't talk like that as a rule and name-calling is not something he should be doing.  And I'll leave that right there.  He did apologize...saying he didn't know I heard him.  Doesn't matter.  Jesus heard him too.

And with that - I need to get off here and get started on my day - what are you going to do today to glorify God?  Why not just pause and ask Him what you can do for Him today? You just might be surprised what will come your way.

Blessings!

Distractions always come

 Have you been in the middle of a project and - boom! - either you are off on something else to do or your mind is on other things?  Yeah, it happens to me all the time, which is why I need to write down things so often.  I often get side-tracked on what I WANT to do, versus what NEEDS to be done.  Ok, maybe that's a want as well.  Distractions have happened to me this morning (as most mornings!) and several minutes usually go by before I realize what I wanted to do wasn't getting done.

I was writing my prayers in my journal.... and my eyes closed for a few minutes.  Distracted with my thoughts.

I was reading and I recalled something I wanted to do.  Distracted with activity.

I got out my computer to work my way to my blog (I have certain things I check before I get this far), and I found myself reading emails.  Distracted by reading.

Is that what happens when one multi-tasks all the time?  Or feels like they do?  It may be true but many times, especially when you are trying to have some quiet time alone with God, it is the devil just trying to distract and discourage you.  In fact, I read a blog from Chrystal Hurst this morning that made me think about how I get distracted at times.  There are so many things I want to do... yet, I often find myself doing something completely off that 'beaten path' of doing it.  Does that happen to you?

I didn't sleep well last night - in my opinion.  I drank a lot of water yesterday; more than usual, and last night's awakening reminded me of that.  I had gotten out of the habit of drinking a lot of water - and upped it yesterday.  When I made myself get up this morning, I felt the interruption of sleep throughout the night to make the walk down the hall.  I checked my sleep record and it showed I only got up 4 times ... normally it is one.  Oh well. It is what it is, right?  Rule of thumb, don't drink so much water!!  At least slow it down after 6PM!  But then, my body needs to get used to a lot of water so that it can expel toxins from processed food.  Salty foods.  My fingers and legs are puffy this morning.  We had store-bought pizza last night as I was too lazy to cook after working out.  I simply must make the effort to cook more healthy, if I want to stay healthy.

I found an 'old' meatball vegetable soup recipe yesterday that I used to make.  I am thinking about putting it together today - I think I have everything. I remember my daughter loved that soup and one year I even made it and put in a quart jar and gave to her for Christmas!  She loved it.  That was a long, long time ago, long before marriage; long before leukemia; long before children.  I wonder if she would still like it.  If I get it made, I'll have to find out.

Friends have asked me what I am going to do this weekend.  We get Monday off and my daughter has invited family over for cookout and swim.  We plan to go, of course.  I plan to make potato salad to take.  I also want to clean out my closet. Yeah, hear I go again, talking about cleaning things out!  But I have been looking at it and coming up with some ideas on what I want to do.  I'm actually wanting to get in there and get on it - but I need to try on clothes and I refuse to do it with hubby watching.  Even if it doesn't fit NOW, (and hasn't for several months), it CAN fit at some point, right?  If I will start cooking and eating my own food and not the junk.

I've already started moving some items around in there as I think about it during the day.  I need to do a run to Walmart or Big Lots and pick up a couple things, but I'm excited to have a project to work on.  I just have to keep from losing my heart to get it completed when discouragement comes at me. I'll leave that there.  I have so many clothes and I know I need to get rid of them.  A lot of them.  But parting brings such sorrow!  LOL  So much I want to do; so little time to focus on it.  

I also want to bake some cookies this weekend.... my trainer wants snickerdoodles.  I want to be nice to my trainer.  Not that it changes anything. She still kicks my butt every time I go see her!  In fact, she scheduled me for 7:30AM on Monday morning!  And that's ok... I'll get my workout in and then feel more energized for the rest of the day.  Maybe.  I do enjoy my training sessions.  I enjoy working out. She tells me last night as I told her the count I was on, that I pay her to count for me.  I can count, but I cannot correct her if she says "two more" or "five more" - if we do more or less, it doesn't matter, her count is what counts.  What can I say to that?  "Yes, ma'am".  LOL

Getting the lightening bolts this morning in my eyes.  Sigh.  Wish I knew what caused them, but my eye specialist says no cure and not idea why.  It started before my cataract surgery so I can't say it was that. But I get these ever so often and they are annoying.  Sometimes it will block a part of my vision.  I just have to deal with it, I guess.  I get my well-being physical next month - I wonder if I should ask for a 'head scan' to ensure I don't have something pressing against my eyes... although my eye specialist did run all kinds of tests on me to determine in his mind there is nothing wrong.  There are a couple things I am going to ask about - chest x-ray and EKG.  I haven't had those since I left my favorite doctor about 7-8 years ago.  They don't have what WAS, so they need a base to work from, right?  I'm going to ask for it.  For my own mind thinking.   It's always best to be PRO-active for my health, rather than trying to recoup what has been stolen from me.

I Timothy 4:8 (NKJV):  For bodily exercise profits a little, but godliness is profitable for all things, having promise of the life that now is and of that which is to come.

I know that I talk at times about exercise, bodily exercise, and that is good for each one of us.  We all need to move a little bit more, no matter how difficult it can be.  We all come up with excuses on why we don't have enough time, or can't exercise.  I do it too.  I often think of this video I saw one time of which a man changed his life.  I watched it numerous times, although now I don't know where it is. But in this video, doctors had given up on this man.  He was large. He was handicapped.  He walked with two canes just to keep from falling.  But he hired a trainer to start with - and watched videos.  He would attempt to do an exercise, and he would fall.  He would get up and keep getting up, until he succeeded.  As time went by, it showed the progression he made to where he gave up his canes; he didn't need them anymore.  He started dropping the weight. It's an amazing video to watch.  Now that is called 'want power'.  He wanted his health bad enough he worked for it.  

And that's what I'm trying to do as well.  So is hubby. Although our eating habits - a lot is my fault. I'm the one who cooks the meals.  But if I don't cook, hubby will eat junk; or will even eat healthy, but maybe a celery stalk and some cheese. He will starve if I die first.  He gets mad when I say that. LOL He won't go to the grocery.  He has no clue how to put food together.  Oh he can scramble an egg and fix toast.  Maybe he can survive.  LOL  He's never lived alone so he has no clue how to take care of himself if he was totally alone.  Me - well, I'm all over the place, as you know. LOL

But even with the exercise, it does nothing for me spiritually unless I also read my Bible, spend time with God, pray, and grow in Him.  Going to church sometimes helps us grow, but not always. Some messages are good, some are not so good.  Going to church doesn't make you a Christian either.  It's the relationship with Jesus.  He is the Vine, we are the branches.  

Don't just exercise the body, but exercise the mind as well with seeking God (that word seeking is a verb).  Spend time with Him.  Rest in Him.  Enjoy Him.  That will do more for you than anything else will.  Take care of your body, for it is His temple.

Blessings!

It's gonna be a good day!

 No, nothing is planned (other than work), and I have nothing on the agenda.  As I was bringing up this space that song popped into my mind.  "It's gonna be a good day, in every single way.  The sun is shining down on me and..."   ...... I don't remember the rest.  So IS it going to be a 'good day'?  It will be if I believe it and make it so, right?  Suck it up, buttercup!  It's going to be a good day!  LOL

Yesterday was fun meeting with the other admins - it ended up being only 4 of us 'girls' and of course our conversation was all over the place.  Partly because one, who is the president's executive assistant, well, it's a lot of 'all about her'.  She's young, single, beautiful... and very knowledgeable, don't get me wrong.  I love her to pieces.  But she brings her computer and flips through screens showing us 'how' to do things and what she wants to do with that knowledge, how she's pushing for a supervisor position and who she wants brought under her, etc.  Luckily, I have not been mentioned as going under her.  She would drive me crazy.  I love her, but do not want to work under her.  I am perfectly fine under my boss.  It could very well hurry a retirement, if I was.  Just saying.  Definitely would not get the raises I get now under her.  She doesn't know me that well.  But it was a good lunch and after 2 hours I told them I had to get back to work so we broke up.  She even sent her boss an email to ask if she could expense the lunch for all of us.  He didn't respond in time so we all paid for our own.  He did respond later and she sent us a text that at our next meeting our lunch will be expensed.  Whatever.  

I read an interesting post this morning before getting to this and it has given me pause.  It asked if we prayed before making purchases.  Of course it was talking mainly about major purchases, i.e., a car, a home, furniture, etc.  But it made me pause and give thought to it.  Do I pray about every large purchase?  Yes, I think I do.  I prayed about purchasing my car; I prayed about us purchasing this house... but you know what... I prayed, then did what I wanted.  Does that make sense?  Here is what I mean.  Sometimes we pray, then we get up and do what we want.  You know you do it too.

"Lord, if we are to buy this car, make it happen. If not, stop everything."  Then we proceed and even with hiccups at times in the contract signing, we get it anyway. (No, that did NOT happen to me with my car).  What I am getting at is that we often will pray about something, then we don't wait to see what the answer is but go ahead and push through our own wants and agenda.  Does that make sense?

It reminds me of a sermon I heard a long, long time ago by Dr. Charles Stanley.  I believe the title was 'Waiting on God'.  In it he talks about this very thing.  He shared a story of a family in need of a car.  They didn't have money to buy a car outright, and really didn't want to put a car on credit.  They prayed about it - and then a week or so later, found a car they liked, and went into deep debt by buying it and putting it on credit.  A couple weeks after that, someone they knew was getting rid of a nice car and was going to offer it to this couple free and clear - only to find they had already purchased a car and met their need there.  If they had waited a few more weeks, and continued to pray about it, I'm sure - they would have received a nicer car than they had purchased and would have had no debt.  (I am sure they were kicking themselves for that purchase!)

But isn't that what we do?  We see something we want, we may - or may not - pray about it, and then go buy it.  Now I'm talking about major purchases.  But the thought has occurred to me about my treadmill I just purchased.  It wasn't that much; probably 1/4 or less the cost of the type I had before, and it's much smaller.  But I don't recall praying about whether or not I should purchase it.  I wanted it.  I debated on it in my mind for a couple weeks, but I don't recall praying if I should get it or not.  All I could think of was that I really love walking and I can't get out in this heat; I don't have a lot of time to go walking; hubby is terrified I'll be kidnapped if I go walking by myself... and I could walk on this treadmill anywhere as it is only 40 pounds and I can pick it up and move it to in here, in the 'exercise room', in front of the TV, anywhere I want it.  No, I didn't buy it on credit, but I also didn't take lightly the money I did spend on it.  

John 16:24 (NKJV):  Until now you have asked nothing in My name.  Ask, and receive, that your joy may be full.

So many times, we don't have things because we don't ask God for it.  We may WANT things to happen, i.e., healing for someone, extra money for a special event - but we don't ask for it.  It's like wanting a bike for Christmas and not telling your parents you'd like to have one!  Of course, God knows everything about us and knows our wants and dreams and wishes.  But we need to ask Him for them.  Want a happy marriage?  Pray not that God would change your spouse..... pray that God will change YOU to be the person you should be.  Ouch.  Yeah, I have to pray that prayer - and do - a lot!  And frequently.  We want people to change.  Pray for them, but don't pray that they will change according to your wishes but pray that they will change according to what God wants for them.  Bless them, don't curse them.  Encourage them, don't deflate them.  

This morning as I was writing out some of my prayers, I thought about what I was writing.  I found myself writing about someone who is an irritant.  I'll leave it there, but I was praying for this person, not that they would change into what I want them to be, but that their eyes would be open to what they have become and that they would seek God with a sincere heart and seek His wisdom and guidance on how to live life.  It makes me sad that I can't be friends with them for fear of retaliation and social media comments.  Hurting people hurt people.  Will God answer my prayer for this person?  I pray He will, but it is in His timing - not mine.  In the meantime, I am to be kind.

I wonder how many people stay away from me because of something I have said or done.  Ever wonder that about yourself?  I never have, until this moment.  I don't think I'm a bad person. I don't spread rumors or broadcast on social media all my hurt feelings and accuse people of things that are not true. I don't make life about me.  I'm pretty much content staying in my own little world and doing my own little thing.  I don't look at life and at occasions as 'what's in it for me' - but how can I bless someone today.  Make sense?

I guess I need to stop rambling and start working on the message for Sunday.  Yeah, I'm at the facility Sunday afternoon.  In November starts our RV park speaking and I will be really busy then!  I will be doing a lot more praying for those times!  I just want to share Jesus with them and tell them that for one thing, it is not too late to follow Jesus.  No matter what we've done in the past, if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.  And two, we are at the end of our lives... or close to it... and if we haven't reconciled with Jesus by now, we need to do it now.  We never know when we will be taken from this world.  Besides making sure our families will be taken care of, we need to be sure that WE are taken care of - in that we will be with Jesus when we are taken.  Are you ready?

Blessings! 

Lunch with my peers today

 Today is our admin lunch day - about six of us admins get together once a quarter and have lunch and catch up.  Just to connect in person.  5 women; 1 guy.  He's not really an 'admin', but works in that capacity so we invite him.  Going to my favorite deli today so it's close by.  Might grab something for my daughter and I for dinner tonight so that we don't have to worry about that.  Last week she brought something; I'll pick up something this time.  At least I get a break in my day, which is always a good thing.

I have some difficult projects to do for work and I procrastinated yesterday.  I really need to get these done and off my plate for I will be receiving emails shortly if I don't!  I don't care much for doing contracts and my boss terminated two that shouldn't have been, so now I need to call the provider offices and get the information and resubmit new contracts.  I have no idea who to call, nor do I want to.  But I don't have a choice, so guess I will do it.  At least he is off on Friday so I should have a decent 'catch-up from the week' day then.

My trainer really pushed me last night; the back of my legs and my 'cheeks' are kind of sore this morning. The sad part is, if I tell her then she will say that makes her very happy!  She is good, I will admit it, and she is tough.  Can't is not in her vocabulary, and I said 'that word' a couple times last night and she corrected me.  But the exercises were so tough!  YOU lay down on the floor, put a 6" board or something at your feet and put one heel on it.  Then raise one leg up in the air (the other is still on the board 6" high) and push your butt up.  I kept reminding her that my butt is pretty heavy.  She was also wanting me to lift 20 pounds while doing this - but I could barely get my butt off the ground so she put the weight away.  This time, she said.  Sigh.  I have a feeling I will be doing this exercise again sometime.  Although, these exercises she has been making me do, most are not repeats.  And I love that she doesn't always use the machines so is teaching me exercises that I can do at home.  Seriously.  This one I can do at home.  Many others I can do at home.  Just tell me to do them. LOL  I've got to get over my laziness and just do it!! I'd be in great shape if I didn't procrastinate, right?

The box from my sister arrived yesterday, and in it was a small book called The Dash (remember that story?)  She also sent a top that 'looks' too big for me (she said it was too big for her so she sent it to me?), a really pretty long dress with a jacket that I really like and am hoping I can fit in to (now why would she buy something like that - she never wears a long dress, let alone one with a jacket), and also a t-shirt that has on the front of it "This is how I fight my battles'.  AND a huge baggie full of riesens candy. After I told her to quit sending them to me!  Melted, of course, I've had to hide them. I've discovered they give me gas - don't laugh - they do!! so I can't eat them.  Wonder who I can give them to?   Anyway, does one even wonder why she and her hubby are always fighting about not having any money?  (erase erase)

Isaiah 26:3 (NLT):  You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in You, all whose thoughts are fixed on You!

That is pretty self-explanatory, don't you think?  If we keep our eyes on Jesus, and obey Him, and put all our troubles, all our hopes, in Him, we will have perfect peace.  Lord knows how we seem to take every single issue and make a mountain out of it!  But when we release it to Him to take care of, the peace that we can receive can move those mountains of frustration, of anger, of fear.  I have to give each day to Jesus; He knows I can make such a mess out of things that I need Him to direct my path and keep me focused on Him so that I will keep my mouth shut and do right.  It's when I push through on my own way, my own thing, that I fail and have to repent.

It's like having that 'discussion' with Ms. Diane last week.  When she said she'd rather go to hell than vote for Trump - well, I lost it.  I knew she was a democrat, and that didn't faze me.  I still love her. But when she said that, I knew that her hatred ran deep for him and I needed to get out of there before I said something I shouldn't.  So I just told her I loved her, but I needed to leave.  Part of me misses her; the other part doesn't want to go over for fear she will start up again on her hatred.  If she remembers. There is that too.  It broke me to hear her say that; but I was so shocked, I could only walk away.  I think that is the only thing I could have done.  And I pray for her.  Not that she will vote for Trump - that's irrelevant.  I pray that her eyes will be opened and she will allow Jesus to be Lord of her life and not just in words, but in her heart.  I pray that she will seek Him and know Him on a personal level.

John 3:16 (NKJV):  For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

God, in all His glory, sent His only Son, Jesus, to die for each one of us. Even those who hate Trump. Even those who hate Harris.  Jesus died, He was our sacrifice, so that we can live.  There is no greater sacrifice.  All we have to do is accept it.  Believe that Jesus is the Son of God, that He was crucified for our sins, died, was buried, rose again on the third day, and now sits with our Heavenly Father at His right hand.  So may people claim to believe that, but their lives and actions do not show it.

Rapid Repentance is a major key in life. Yes, I know I have touched on that before.  Sometimes we know as we sin, that we are doing wrong.  Sometimes we don't realize it until later.  Sometimes we meditate on what we will do (yes, you know we all do!) and know it is wrong.... but when we realize our wrong and confess it to Jesus and sincerely repent and ask His forgiveness, He gives it freely.  That's why He went to the cross.  For you and for me.  Trust me, we're on a first name basis when it comes to repentance!  Oh that I could get my life together and be without sin - but there is only One who was without sin, and will always be without sin.  And that is Jesus. He is the Perfect One.  We all will fall short of the glory of God.  But Jesus.....He is the Way, the Truth, and the Light.  In Him is no darkness.  Glory!

With taking a 2 hour minimum lunch today with the admins, I probably need to get an early start this morning.  Grateful hubby is having breakfast with a friend this morning so I won't have a lot of interruptions before I leave.  He is so used to my being home all day, if I ever had to go back into the office full time, I honestly don't know what he'd do!  

And with all that rambling.... I will hush for today.  Hope that your day is full of love, joy, warmth, and special memories and blessings.

Blessings!

Two things off my list of to do...

 Of course I haven't touched the big things that need to be done, but I did get two small tasks completed.  No, I didn't bake cookies, although I had wanted to.  Can you believe it - my workout trainer and the head trainer both want me to make them cookies!  If I could eat cookies and look like they do - uh, yeah.... that would be very nice.  But, no cookies this weekend.  Our neighbor gave us a container of her chocolate chip cookies on Saturday so I did indulge in them yesterday - way too many of them!.  

But - the two tasks that I took on and completed, now that I look back on them, I wonder why I procrastinated so long to do them, for they weren't as bad as I thought.  One was my hydrophronic plant thing.... it needed to be cleaned out, the water dumped and new pods put in and new seeds.  It was time.  I had two mint plants I had put in there - and the roots from those darn things took over the inside which was filled with water.  The roots had attached themselves to nearly every pod in the holder!  I have frozen a lot of the mint so did not plant any more.  I did plant chives, cilantro, dill, and my mind has gone blank at this moment.  I do use the cilantro a lot, and like the chives on my baked potatoes.  The dill I can use with my dill pickle cheeseball.  Got the bottom cleaned out, fresh water put in it and a fresh dose of vitamins in the water.  Seeds planted and it's back on.  Check.

I also cleaned out under my bathroom sink.  It wasn't as bad as I thought it was.  I just needed to reorganize where I store things and it didn't take long to complete that task.  Check, Check.  I looked warily at my closet, and said 'not today'! and walked away.  But it was on my mind last night and I was thinking of what to do with all the clutter.  I need to try on clothes, but don't want to while hubby is home. And it will take more than an hour, which is why I keep procrastinating.  I know I have many pieces of clothing that are too small at the moment, and all my wishing that I can keep until I lose weight, which I have been trying to do forever it seems, I may as well dispose of.  Or, even better, move them out of my closet and into a storage in the garage.  I have some winter clothes hanging up there currently.  I need to start letting go.  Some of my clothes are over 10 years old - and it's not that it is a bad thing, but it is that I haven't worn them in probably 9 of those 10 years because they haven't fit!  And the box my sister has sent to me should be here today, and she has sent me clothes.  I suppose I ought to try on these blouses she sent me a month or so ago and see if any fit - and if not, put in the savers bag.  They are long sleeved, but maybe I can find one I like.  I used to like long-sleeved blouses - for work, that is!  It was always cold in the office.  But here at home - not so much.  Besides, with working out, I've discovered my biceps (now don't laugh at me!) have gotten bigger and I don't like anything tight on my arms!  And I know I mentioned a year or two ago when I bought myself 5 new pair of jeans as hubby had been complaining about how faded my pants had gotten.... I bought the same brand, same size.  1 of the 4 fit.  The others are folded neatly up on the shelf in my closet.  That's what I'm up against!  Sizes do not run true!!

I bought a new treadmill.  Had I told you that?  It's from Deer Run and it is not quite 4 ft long.  It's only 40 pounds. It arrived yesterday and I have it out of the box, and all I need to do is plug it in.  But the matt I want to put under it did not arrive with it, and hubby was watching me, so I just put it aside for now.  He has his training this morning so I may go plug it in and just see how it goes.  I haven't read the instructions yet so it might be a good idea to do that as well.  Since it is still too hot to go walk out side and hubby is terrified someone is going to kidnap me or I will fall and get hurt, a small treadmill where I can get some walking in inside will work.  The newfangled treadmills at the gym and rec center intimidate me with all their gadgets.  All I want to do is walk; not dance on them!  I bought also an inexpensive, small stand-up desk which I can put in front of the treadmill and I can sit my kindle on it and watch a movie while I walk.  Oh wait.  I remember telling you that - so I guess I've already spilled the beans.  Anyway - it did arrive yesterday. In rose gold.  :-)  It is for me, although hubby is already making his plans to use it.  Rolling my eyes.  He already gets more exercise in than I do as he does his workout, then goes with me to the gym and rides the bike while I work out.

UGH. My sister has too much time on her hands!  She has already been sending me videos this morning.  Who has the time to sit and scroll through things on facebook and instagram and wherever else she pulls that stuff.  And 99.9 percent of the time I don't even open them!  And I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one she sends to.  But at 6AM??  Of course it is 9AM her time right now - but sometimes they come through all night!  She does need to find a hobby or a project.  I know she is bored, but get a life!  Right?  LOL  I tell myself the same thing at times.  But I do have a couple projects going - which is a good thing!  I just would rather curl up with a good book than do them. 

My evenings will be busy this week as I speak at the facility on Sunday afternoon and I need to start pulling it together.  Yes, I procrastinate.  I never know what God is going to do with the message though. Remember last time I had a message all ready - and on Saturday God told me no, and I had to choose another.  Stayed home from church to complete it.  I need to have this one ready in case He does it again.  I do admit, though, that the first one I had  - I just wasn't 'feeling it'.  So wasn't surprised when God told me to find another.  And the one I did use went over much better.  See how much smarter God is than me?!

Psalm 100:1-3 (NLT):  Shout with joy to the Lord, all the earth!  Worship the Lord with gladness.  Come before Him, singing with joy. Acknowledge that the Lord is God!  He made us, and we are His.  We are His people, the sheep of His pasture.

So many mornings I get up and drag myself in here, even though I'd rather stay in bed.  This morning I woke at 3:15AM and I am telling God 'no, I want to sleep', but after about 30 minutes of just laying there with my mind talking to God about different things, I decided that I may as well get up and do it.  I don't even have to set an alarm anymore, but I still have my watch set to buzz.  I don't need to though, hubby is awake between 5-5:30AM and brings my coffee and apologizes for being late.  I don't care. I don't even need the coffee in the mornings, but it makes him feel good.  And I do drink it.  I sometimes shake my head for I tell him to put cinnamon in it, and he does for a few mornings and then quits. I ask him to put collagen in it, and he does for a few mornings and quits.  There were some other things over the years that could be put in our coffee, and he will for a week or so, then he quits.  No reason. He just quits.  I don't say anything - it's not worth it. We take our coffee black so at least I don't have to worry about sugar and cream!

I have my cd player on low and playing prayers songs and it just brings such peace into this room before I have to start work.  And, when I get this completed, sometimes I have a few moments that I can just pause in life and worship the Lord before starting work.  Unfortunately, too many times I run right up to 7AM and have to get on to work, but I do love it when I finish things early and can sit on the floor on my prayer rug and open the shutters and just sit in His presence.  When was the last time you sat and just marveled at the Lord and all that He has done for you?  When was the last time you sat and let your thoughts wander at the majesty of His hand?

Why not join me today, and take a few minutes now to just sit before the Lord and worship Him?  He alone is worthy to be praised.  Put on some worship music (and if you don't have any, just soft instrumental music), and just sit with Jesus this morning and tell Him what is going on in your life and how you can use His help and intervention.  He's just waiting for us to ask Him. Think about it. It will be time well spent.

Blessings!

I got the bagel sandwich....

 but we ended up at Bosa Donuts instead of Einsteins.  I noticed my birthday coupon had expired, which was no big deal, we decided to go anyway - but when we got there and from the parking lot could see the line was to the door.... hubby didn't want to wait.  So, we headed over to Bosa Donuts - which is where he wanted to go in the first place.

A good cup of coffee, a bagel, egg, sausage sandwich, and a donut (hey, we WERE at Bosa Donuts!) - we sat down to enjoy our breakfast.  And enjoy it we did.  

We had arranged for someone to come and put ceiling fans in here at the house and they were to come between 11-1PM - but didn't get here until 3PM.  We now have a ceiling fan in the front living area, and also changed out the chandelier in the kitchen that had just lights to one with lights and a fan.  What a difference it makes!  We weren't going to get one in the kitchen, but as I sat there yesterday morning and folded plastic bags (for crocheting into matts for the homeless), sweat was dripping off me - and I don't sweat!  I even went and got a small fan and plugged in, it was that bad!  No circulation in the kitchen.  So we made the phone call and got a fan for there as well.  It is amazing how much the temperature dropped in the front room once we had that fan in there just to circulate the air.  I would sit and sweat every evening in my corner on the couch, but last night it was so much nicer!  So glad we decided to get them. 

Last night we were invited over to our new neighbors for dinner.  She made a chicken pot pie from scratch - and I have to admit, it was pretty good.  She fixed strawberry shortcake for dessert.  As we sat after dinner something was said about some weird sow they had saved on the TV - so they turned it on to show us.  I wish we hadn't watched it all, but it was interesting.  It was about when there was no people.  What happens to the structures, the things here in the world when there are no people.  It was strange, but it held my interest.  But then we didn't get a chance to chat and get to know our neighbors better.  Well, I wasn't talking, but 'she' talks constantly.  Know anyone like that?  LOL  Our neighbors keep about the same hours we do - bed early; up around 5AM.  We came home a little before 8PM.

"When you let the world in, the anointing of God begins to diminish."  Yeah, listening to Jentezen Franklin this morning.  He's talking about the Ark of the Covenant this morning, when the Philistines sent it back to Israel because God was sending disease up on the Philistines.  Read it in I Samuel.   The Philistines, after they had captured the ARK, had put it in their 'temple' with their idols.... and the next morning when they came in, the idols had fallen down in front of the ARK.  God says "There shall be no other god before Me."  We can't put things before God.

What do we sacrifice for God?  Do we give up our time to spend time with Him?  Do we give up food or other items in fasting to turn our focus upon Him?  Do we sacrifice our social media scrolling to spend time with Him?  Oh that we would turn our thoughts to Him and spend time with Him, and His Presence will come upon us and we will feel such peace and such comfort.  It isn't easy at times to carve out time for Jesus.  Even with my getting up early in the mornings to spend time with Him, you know that often I have fallen back to sleep.  I should get up and move when I get sleepy, but the sleep often overtakes me.  And I let it.  Guilty, there.  I want to get back in to fasting each week for a day, but every time I plan to fast, I forget and will grab something and eat it before I think about it.  I lose my focus.  Oh that I would surrender it all and get back to when I first fell in love with Jesus.  I can remember the times when fasting and praying was all I did.  Then when difficulties came, I let the hurt in me take over.  It was all me; God has never left me, I don't mean that.  But my intense prayers and sacrifices over past few years have waned.  See, I'm not even thinking I'm perfect, for I'm not.  But Jesus.  He always pulls me back into His arms when I run to Him for forgiveness and ask Him to help me.

Several months ago I asked God to draw my heart back to complete devotion to Him.  No.Matter.What.It.Took.  I know better than pray those prayers.  But I did it.  It's like you don't pray for patience because God will allow conflicts to teach you patience.  Well, I prayed that He will be my complete focus; take me back to my first love for Him; increase my hunger for more of Him.  It has dawned on me the past few days, and I feel that He is drawing me back to my first love, my first seeking of Him, for more of Him.  How?  Several family members have health issues.  It isn't just one; it is many of my family members that are struggling with health issues.  And I pray for them.  And as I go to Him in prayer for them, I pray for their salvation first, then I pray that God will forgive them, that He will show them mercy and will heal their bodies.  Oh God, do it again!  Do it again, Lord!  Restore, Lord, please restore as only You can!

Psalm 34:11 (NKJV):  Come, you children, listen to me; I will teach you the fear of the Lord.

Psalm 119:169 (NKJV):  Let my cry come before You, O Lord; give me understanding according to Your Word.

Oh that the wisdom of God would come upon each of us today!  Oh Lord, Hear! Oh Lord, Act! Oh Lord, Restore!

Give Him the glory that He alone deserves.

Blessings!

Easy fix

 I txt'd my daughter and SIL yesterday morning and asked if they would take my car to Auto Zone and have the battery checked.  They came up a bit after 10AM and did so - and yes, it was the battery that was going bad.  Hallelujah!  Auto Zone couldn't fix it then, so the SIL brought it back home and mentioned a AAA Repair place just down the street.  Well, I AM a AAA member.... so they dropped my car off there and 30 minutes later I was notified it was ready for pick up.  So glad the battery is replaced and my life hasn't been stranded in anxiety waiting for it not to start to get it completed.  And, although I usually take my car into the dealership for the oil change, although I know it is much more expensive, when I inquired at AAA Repair, they will do it for less than $40 - I usually don't get out of the dealership for less than $400 by the time they insist I need other things done, and me not knowing any better, get it done.  I think it's time to start going elsewhere.  My car is a 2017 so it isn't like it is a new car or anything.  And I only have 47K miles on it so things shouldn't go wrong - unless it is from age.  That battery lasted 7 years for I can't find where we replaced it after I bought the car in 2019.  

I have a new project to crochet.  I'm hoping to find another easy pattern to try with it.  I think I mentioned (or it might have been some I erased recently) an unmet friend, a friend of my sister's, whose siblings were breaking into her home and stealing things from her.... well, she discovered this week that they also stole the afghan I had made her for Christmas last year.  She was in tears and didn't want to share it was stolen, but she finally did.  No problem.  I'll make her another.  But I want to make it different, and better, than the first one.  

Lots of erasing going on here this morning.  I'm trying to get better about my ramblings..... 

Dinner tonight at our neighbor's house.  They didn't want us to bring anything, so we will be having chicken pot pie that she is making.  I hope I like it enough not to make faces.  LOL  People have gone on and on about the chicken pot pie at Cheddars.  Well, one time we were there and I decided to try this 'delicious chicken pot pie'.  Naw, it isn't for me.  I did not like it and didn't eat even half of it, I don't think. Maybe I ought to try my hand at it sometime.  I think it is more that they don't put enough vegetables in it and there is too much dough.  Will see how our neighbor makes it.

Think I'll get hubby to go to Einstein's for breakfast this morning - I still have my birthday bagel sandwich I haven't gotten yet.  I was thinking about cooking, but that bagel sandwich and Einstein's coffee sure does sound good right now.  Yeah, after I finish this, get dressed and you know hubby will want to go.  Food is his favorite activity. LOL 

Hubby got his first shot for his metastatic prostate cancer yesterday.  He wanted me to meet him at the doctor's office, but with my car acting up (before I got it fixed), we decided that I had better not try it.  It only took 5 minutes for him to get the shot; but he has been so anxious about it for some time.  Anyway, I told him that since I couldn't meet him at the doctor's office, (now that my car is fixed), I would take off work early and we could go for a late lunch.  He liked that idea.  We went to Fazoli's.  They were out here before but closed up - found a new opening at 58th Ave & Peoria.  We went in and I had signed up for their rewards app - so we even got $5 off our order!  We dined in.  Mind you it was about 2:30-ish and it wasn't crowded at all.  We ended up waiting about 20-25 minutes for our orders (him spaghetti with no meatballs, me baked spaghetti with meatballs), they kept apologizing and brought us a chocolate chip cookie, which I immediately opened - and then they brought our order.  Wow.  Their spaghetti beats out Olive Garden!  The sauce was so good; even hubby was raving about it.  I couldn't eat all of mine (huge portion for us), but hubby did.   I brought the rest home - 'guess what is for lunch?'

I read in a devotional this morning.... "prayerlessless is the first sign of prideful independence'.  We quit praying.  Whether it is quit spending time with God, quit thinking about God, or even just quit praying over our meals - we are saying to God "we don't need you"; "we can do this in our own power"; "we can do this better than You can".... how can one even think that they don't need God?  He has the answer for everything!  Everything we have - although you may think you have 'earned' it - was given by Him.  He blessed you with it.  A home, a car, decent health, family, friends, and more - all these are a gift from Him.  We have become such ungrateful people that we have pushed God out of our lives, out of our homes and are now dependent upon ourselves and others to provide for us.  We have our hand out for more - but we never seek Him for what He wants to give us.  Do you not realize how much more our Heavenly Father wants to give us - but we just have to ask for it??

Sometimes my heart is so grieved over my children and grandchildren turning away from the God they know.  They have their reasons, they say.  They didn't get their way; God didn't respond how they wanted Him to.  So they quit on Him. But you know what?  He has never quit on us.  He is still here, waiting on us to reach out to Him.  His answer may still be no, or not yet, but He is always there for us.  Why don't we reach out to Him to give us the peace we so long for inside of us!   We may tell others we are 'Christians' - but a Christian is a Christ-follower - and if they live their life in such a way that betrays His name, how can they be a Christ-follower?  We see posts all the time on facebook of people who claim to be Christian, and yet, they use ungodly words, they post untruths, and they want people to feel sorry they have to endure such people.  Woe to them, hypocrits!  Jesus even called out the Pharisees and Sadducees for the words and actions they used.

Oh that our words and our actions will always glorify the God who created us, Jesus, whose crucified life saved us, and the Holy Spirit who fills us with His Presence!  We are a wicked people, desperately in need of a Savior, and Jesus is the only One who can fill that role.

Our friends and family are not our Savior.  Money is not our Savior.  Jesus is the only way to the Father, and it is in Him we must build our faith and our lives.  Oh that we all would take that to heart and swallowed our pride of self-sufficiency and surrender to the only One who can save us!  We must go through Jesus to get to the Father.  

Choose Jesus today.  Please don't delay.  We do not know how much time we have left on this earth. Our end could come by health issues; by accidents; by anything.... are you ready to meet Jesus face to face and be judged by Him who knows all?  Everything you do, everything you think, is known by Him.  We can not hide anything from Him; He sees and knows all.  Are you willing to surrender your life to follow Him and be blessed by Him?  Oh that you might!  Oh that you would ponder that thought and soften your heart to give Him the glory only He deserves!  

Blessed are those who seek after Him; for they shall see His glory.

Blessings!

I am exhausted -

 not sure if it is the work week and the stress of it, or my workouts at the gym (as tough as they are), or what, but I could not wake up this morning.  After my workout last night we decided t go to Sardellas for pizza.  Soooo good.  We ate and came home; I read a couple chapters in a new book; hubby played with his phone. Oh, he had me clean it up for him.  I kid you not - he had 9 or 10 'clean phone' apps and his phone was full at storage.  I actually think Apple is trying to get him to buy more storage.  His solitaire game has 978.6 MB that it is using.  I think that is the most and I told him so, but he says that he plays it.  Oh well.  It's his phone.  I did clear all the cookies on his phone through safari and on the iphone, when you bring up a screen, it stays on even when you get off it, but stays in the background.  I think he had about 200 of those screens that I had to clear out.  I think I got it to where he could finally use it.  And, I deleted the 'clean computer' apps he had all over the place.

We headed to bed at our usual time.  I had difficulty falling to sleep (thanks to diet coke with dinner, I'm thinking-caffeine), and woke up about 11:15PM.  I could not fall back to sleep but tossed and turned until after 2PM.  At least I think that is the last time I looked at the clock. I'm sure I dozed off and on, but I felt like I was awake. Prayed for my boys... prayed for my daughter, prayed for my family, prayed for my siblings... whatever came to mind I prayed for.  I finally fell asleep until 4AM. Rolled over and went back to sleep until 4:45AM.  Came in here, read my devotional; was reading my Bible... and fell asleep for another 45 minutes.  My extra reading time was gone.  I looked at the clock and knew I had to stay awake if I was going to get anything done this morning before work.  So here I am.  Even before I do my regular reading. Don't you feel honored?

(erase erase)  Nothing bad, but I was sharing, and probably should keep those thoughts to myself. 

I think the battery or starter is going out on my car.  I have noticed the last couple of days that when I push the button, there is a slight drag before it starts.  Battery?  Could be.  Alternator? I don't think so as the temperature doesn't move - but could be.  Starter?  There is no clicking - but could be.  I'm going to contact my SIL this afternoon to see if he can get my battery checked - and then will make a decision on what I need to do.  It's a 2017 and I don't think I have ever replaced the battery - and if I have, it was probably at least 4-5 years ago.  That's why I think battery.  I do need to drive it this morning to where hubby is getting his shot as he wants me there with him. Not sure why - nothing is going to happen but he will get a shot.  Praying my car will start to get there and start to get me back home.  

I'm obviously jumping all over the place this morning and deleting a lot too so that also makes today's writing a mess.  

Hubby just stopped in to tell my 'bye' on his way to Bible study.  We also quickly discussed my car situation.... he took a deep breath and said that although he wants me there when he gets the shot, my safety is more important and I can just stay home and have the SIL come check out the battery at Auto Zone or wherever he can take it.  Eliminate one possibility.  I reminded him that over a year ago when he got the one big shot, I wasn't with him, and he said 'you are right.  Stay home, your safety is more important.'  So I guess I won't be going.  What use am I to go and watch him get a shot?  It is 1/6th of the dosage he got over a year ago.  I know it is because he is just scared of side effects. We've talked about that. I remind him that he has taken pills for the last 30 days to offset any side effects, and with the dosage 1/6 of what the first one was in which he had extreme itching, I am sure he will be ok.  I have another child at times.

I have the 'Hello Heart' app on my phone and the 'Hello Heart' blood pressure cup to transmit my results to the app.  I got it through my company - free.  Every morning it reminds me to take my BP - which I don't always.  It just reminded me and I wondered what it would be.  It ranges from 141/81 down to well, today's was 121/75 with a pulse of 59.  It tells me when I'm doing 'good' and when I need to work on reducing it.  It's handy to have and I can show it to my doctor when I go next month.  What really helps is that I work out a little, and I've been trying to eat more fruit and vegetables.  Trying.

I sold my 15+ year old treadmill a few weeks ago to clear out space.  And I've missed it.  I asked Ms. Vicki if she wanted to sell hers, but she wasn't sure.  I saw an Deer Run ad yesterday for a small portable type one - and I bought it. Should be here next week.  Bought the pad for underneath it, and I went on Amazon and bought a small 'stand-up' desk that I can put in front of it because it does not have side rails nor a stand in front of it. Amazon also sells these - and the one I bought was $10 less on Amazon, I think.  The one with rails was $199 and I bought the one without for $149.   I just need it to get my steps in - and get some walking in to keep active on days I don't work out with weights.  I don't like using the treadmills at the gym (in fact our trainers don't encourage it.  Use the bike if we use anything.)  But I like to walk.  And I can put my kindle on the little desk I plan to put in front of it and watch a movie on prime video while I walk.  Win-Win - right?    Sigh.  Hubby was already commenting last night how he was going to be using it and since it didn't have side rails he could use his hiking sticks I had bought him to keep his balance..... he didn't use my other treadmill but maybe once a month - if that - for 15 minutes.  He hates walking, he says. But this is for US, not for me alone. In spite of the fact I bought it because I wanted to get more walking in. I can do it in whatever room I want to, but will probably set it up in the 'exercise room'.  I have my very own 'hiking sticks' as well, as I got them for my birthday.

And.... my time has gotten away.  I really have written much more than what you see, but I erased a lot of it.  Some comments just don't need to be made, right?  Some things just don't need to be shared.  

4 minutes to get my computer up and running - and I'm not even dressed yet!  Have a full day of work already to catch up on that I didn't get done yesterday.  Lord, HELP!!  I like going in to the weekend without anything hanging over me for Monday.

Have a great weekend - Know that the Lord is good and He blesses those who follow His ways.  Follow Him, you will never regret it, no matter what comes your way.  He is the only reason I am (mostly) sane. I would have given up on life had it not been for following Jesus and knowing that He loves me.

Blessings!

Sometimes prayers get answered

 the way you want them to.  I just wrote a whole paragraph but decided to delete it.  It wasn't about me, or any of my family, but about an unmet friend whose family has persecuted her unmercifully and we have prayed - and the judge ruled in her favor today.  It doesn't change anything, and her sisters will again torment her another way.  But at least she knows that God is hearing prayers and answering on her behalf.

And sometimes we all need to know that, don't we?  I know I have prayed many prayers that God's answer seems to be 'Not Yet' - and as much as I don't like that answer, I know that His timing is best, even when I don't agree.  But there are other times that it proves that His timing is a lot better than mine.  Grateful He will overrule some of my requests and respond as He knows best. 

Work was busy again yesterday, but I did get a breather about 3PM.  The last hour wasn't as hectic as the other hours.  I've decided to keep working (for now) as long as I can be remote, and I am able to keep up on everything.  It is the only thing that is keeping my mind active.  Plus, I do like the income. :-)  It pays the bills, right.  It gives me play money.  And that's important. :-)  

I had a hankering to go visit my siblings this fall.  Unfortunately, with my little sister so jealous of time I spend with our older brother (whom she does not have a relationship with - but that is her own fault), that it causes me a great amount of stress.  She counts the days and nights (and probably the hours!) that I spend with him.  I've told her that I do have a relationship with him, and I will see him and spend time with him.  Her tongue and behavior finally broke the bank with him.  I keep forgiving and letting it go, but he reached his limit.  Of course he is in the same state; I am not, and don't know all the stuff. Nor do I want to. I have a relationship with all my siblings.  And I am grateful for that.  I get amused (and sometimes angry) that a couple of my siblings will state how close they were to mother, or to our older brother or older sister - who have all passed away.  And I don't believe them.  Why?  Because I talked with them (before they passed, duh), and they complained that they weren't visited, that this child or that one had done something that hurt them, how they don't even call..... and yet, they claim they were so close.  And I will leave that there. It stirs up hurt feelings in my heart.  They can believe they were the favorite; I don't care.  I know the truth.    Anyway - I really thought about going to visit, and of course we need to visit hubby's brother.... the airline cost didn't deter me.... but trying to work out my schedule in between board meetings and timecards.... it was hard finding time.... and I didn't want to take my work computer with me.  But as I thought about the stress and the behavior that comes from my visit... I decided against it.  I would rather they come visit me, when they can have me all to themselves.  

I sit here and my mind is empty of anything to write this morning.  The word 'heal' has come to mind and I looked up some scriptures.  But none speak to me.  Perhaps they will to you.

Psalm 147:3 (NKJV):  He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

Psalm 103:3 (NKJV):  Who forgives all your iniquities, Who heals all your diseases.

Proverbs 16:34 (NKJV):  Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the bones.

Isaiah 53:5 (NKJV):  But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities,; the chastisement for our peace was upon Him, and by His stripes we are healed.

Jeremiah 3:22 (NKJV):  "Return, you backsliding children, and I will heal your backslidings." "Indeed, we do come to You, for You are the Lord our God."

and one of my very own life-verses...

Jeremiah 17:14 (NKJV):  Heal me, O Lord, and I shall be healed.  Save me, and I shall be saved, for You are my praise.

Perhaps one of these will speak to you.  Jesus IS our Healer; of physical wounds, of emotional wounds, of those wounds that strike the heart.  Lean into Him and trust Him.  His timing, and His answers, are always good.  He heals the broken-hearted.  

Blessings!

Another day, another dime, right?

 Work was busy yesterday; so much so that I again didn't 'break' for lunch, but I fix myself a hamburger.  This may sound odd, but as old as I am, know what I have 'discovered'?  I have pretty much always bought hamburger in the packages (of which you don't know how long it has been packaged).  This last weekend, on a whim, I not only bought a package of hamburger, aka ground beef, in a package, I bought a little over a pound of 'fresh' ground beef from the meat deli area.  I could not believe how much more flavor the meat from the meat deli was versus what we buy in a package.  I noticed it when I fixed us tacos the other night, using the same meat.  There was a little ground beef left over so I cooked it up yesterday as a hamburger.  Flavor.  Just hadn't really thought about it before.  I have when we have gone out - as you have probably noticed as well.

Some fast foods, and some restaurants, their ground beef sandwiches, aka hamburgers, cheeseburgers, etc., have taste - and some don't.  I know when we ate at Coco's a few years ago and I got the cheeseburger, I often commented on how good it tasted.  Unfortunately, they are now closed.  Some fast food places will have good hamburgers, and others won't.  Why is that?   Not going to call any place out - I don't know if I could even remember who had good that impressed me.  Think about it - which fast food place has hamburgers that really do have taste.  Which fast food place does not?  I think I will be buying from the meat deli my hamburger from now on, plus where we eat out at and determine which hamburger I think has the best flavor and make a mental note to return there.  I do love me a good hamburger!

After my workout last night, in which my trainer was very mean to me, my daughter did the drive to my house so we could work on our project.  First time we have gotten together for a few weeks.  It was good to catch up on life and what has been going on.  Yes, I've seen her a few times, but we really haven't had the opportunity to talk.  Hubby was at his bible study so it was good for us to be alone.  We got a lot done on our project too.  It was a good time to be together - and she brought dinner!  Always good to have food to start our time together.

I'm drawing a blank as to what to write about so I 'may' do some ramblings here today. I know, what else is new, right?  At least I give you something to read.

I mentioned my trainer was mean last night.  I know it is for my own good, but I was almost reduced to tears at my inability to complete the exercise.  I like to think of myself as limber and somewhat strong. But I hate some of the leg exercises she made me do.  Yes, I used the word hate.  The first one was with the (I know I'm saying it all wrong) barbells across my shoulders and going down into a lunge position full, then half x 8.   Then a smaller barbell across the shoulders and bending over and stretching the - what is it called?  - the back of the legs.  I've lost my mind, can't think what it is called. Anyway, x 10 then do both of these for 3 sets.   From there she took me to one leg machine I absolutely detest and I have NEVER liked it and have always avoided it.  (Because I always feel my butt is on display and it is so big!!)  I tried to tell her that.  But I had to do them anyway.  10 of full, 10 of half, 10 of full and hold for a count of 2 - and all times 3 sets.  I knew she was helping me on the 3rd one but my eyes were full of water and I didn't care!  I am feeling it somewhat this morning.  HAMSTRINGS!!  That is the word I was trying to think of earlier!  DUH.  She stretched my HAMSTRINGS.  Anyway, that all took up my 30 minutes.  At one point she asked if I was going to pass out, but I told her I wasn't dizzy. She said that I was looking pretty white.  By this time I had a pounding headache from the exercise.  She has already 'warned' me that Thursday we will be working on core.  That makes me cry too.  She puts my feet on these sliders and I have to pull myself up - now, I consider myself somewhat strong, but I am so out of shape, even after a year of working out.  I simply must get out and get walking in.  Sold my treadmill and I haven't used my trampoline that much.  I need to do something; I can't stand not being able to accomplish some of these simple tasks.  It gives me great anguish to give in to getting old.   AND, she put me in front of the mirror for the first three sets - and all I could focus on was how gray my hair has gotten!!  

So how is that for rambling and filling up space and 'stuff' for you to read this morning?  

Not sure what is going on with me this morning.  I feel this heaviness, and that if I allowed myself, I could burst out in tears.  Am I the only one who gets these emotional feelings?  Of course I don't allow myself to cry; I have no reason to cry.  Well, I probably do, but I bury it.  Big girls don't cry, right?  God has seen many of my tears over the years.  Tears for my repentance, tears for my children, and even for grandchildren and great grandchildren.  Some circumstances break my heart and bring the tears.  I remember when I heard about my sister, Jackie, being taken to the hospital, and then finding out why.... I cried on her behalf out to God to save her.  He chose not to.  I've cried for grandchildren and great grandchildren.  I've especially cried over my children.  But, with not knowing why this morning, I feel like if I could just have a few more hours alone this morning, I could release the tears that I hold back.  Until you are a parent..... you can not understand the tears we hold back.  Some day something will trigger, and there will be no stopping them.  You want to know why I cry during some movies?  Yeah, it's like I can just release a little bit.  Sometimes it helps to watch a sad movie so that I can get that release without someone questioning why I am crying.  Crying is good for the soul.  It brings great relief.  Some of us hold back, and the pressure and the hurt just doesn't go away....until we can let go of the tears, the pain we hold within.  My life has been painful, for sure.  I just can't allow myself to cry unless I am alone with my Jesus.  He gathers me in His arms and comforts me. He restores my soul.

Psalm 56:8 (NKJV):  You number my wanderings; put my tears in Your bottle. Are they not in Your Book?

Mark 9:24 (NKJV):  Immediately the father of the child cried out and said with tears, "Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!"

Luke 7:38 (NKJV):  and stood at His feet behind him weeping; and she began to wash His feet with her tears, and wiped them with the hair of her head; and she kissed His feet and anointed them with fragrant oil.

Tears.  They come in many ways.  In grief, in sorrow, in loss, even in joy tears come.  Many times we are touched in our hearts and yet, we hold them back.  We don't want others to see how much their touch felt, we don't want people to see how deeply our hearts long for ............ whatever it is.  We bury our tears and don't let them out.  I know, I'm so very guilty of holding tears in.  Some funerals I refuse to allow myself to cry... others I cannot keep the tears from falling.  It is hard for me to go to funerals.  Some I can get through without a problem, but many I cannot stop the tears from falling and I often feel that it is more than the loss of that person... it is my life I am crying over.  The pain that I hold in will come out in my tears for something else, and I know others don't understand.  Which is probably why I was reluctant (and disappointed in myself) to go to my friend's funeral the other week.  I wanted to.  But I was afraid of my tears.  Yet, when I allow myself to cry, it cleanses me. 

What about you?  How do you deal with your tears?  Do you allow your tears to fall when they come upon you - or do you, like me - fight to keep the tears and the emotions buried?  I feel we should perhaps look at those times.  If someone hurts us, even unintentionally by their behavior or words; if there is sickness that needs prayer; we need to let the tears fall and just bury ourselves at the feet of Jesus and let Him restore us, comfort us, love us.  Oh how I love those times when I give up and let Him take my pain!  Sometimes it is hard to admit what I feel.  But God already knows.  He's just waiting for me... and for you... to let down our guard and let the tears fall.  He gathers each one in to a bottle.  

Jeremiah is one of my favorite prophets.  Why?  Because he was known as the weeping prophet, and I can identify with his tears for his people, his country.  God stored every tear he cried.  And He will do it for us as well.  

Let the tears flow.  It is good for the soul.

Blessings!

I had to walk away....

 Ms. Diane and I had a 'tiff' last night.  Usually I can 'blow off' her comments and let them go.  But I had to leave last night.  I had taken her a frozen strawberry dessert that I had made for her, as she had mentioned on my last visit how much she had enjoyed it.  She had the 'convention' on.  I commented that I didn't watch the one a week or so ago, and I was definitely not going to watch this one, so I probably would not stay long.  And she started in on the candidates for presidency.  Now I knew where she stood, as her children had told me long ago.  I knew we would not agree, but I have always said I could agree for us to disagree.  But last night, she wouldn't let up.  I made the comment about we need to look at biblical mandates as well as the policies that these people stood for.  And, if we do not vote God's way, what the Bible says (regardless of which candidate one favors), we could go to hell.  Maybe that is a bit out of line or farfetched, but when she responded "I will go to hell before I vote for that person!" I lost it.  She has proclaimed to be a Christian (although her children say she is not) when we have talked about God and believing in Jesus.  After she said that, I told her that I believe I need to leave; it is her home, and she can watch whatever she wants, she can say whatever she wants, but I can choose to leave.  I told her that I loved her, but I could not sit there and listen to the words she was saying.  And I got up to leave. She followed me to the door and I again told her that I loved her, but I probably would not be back to visit for awhile.  She said she loved me too, shut the door and locked it. And I came home.   It is her home. She can do or say whatever she wants to. It was my choice to not sit there and listen to the convention and the comments made.  So I came home and prayed for her. I care about her, I love her.  But politics should not be part of our conversation; especially not the way she was spewing the words out.  I had a choice; stay and listen and get angry and say things I probably should not say.... or leave.  I feel I made the better choice.

And, on to another subject..... I contacted Vanilla Gift Card yesterday.  Called them and got a woman who I had to ask to repeat her comments numerous times.  I finally got an email and a case number to where I could send my request to have my gift card replaced.  I completed that task and sent the info off to the email provided.  This morning I had a response.  They want the original packaging (since this was a Christmas gift, it has long been thrown away), they want the original receipt and where it was purchased and when (of which I have none).  I don't think they will honor my request.  I responded to them that it was a Christmas gift, the packaging had been destroyed a long time ago, and the receipt was never given, and I'm not sure who gave it to me.  I got the impression that without their 'rules' being followed, I will not get a replacement card.

So with that - I would ask that Amazon or other gift cards be given - with the receipt - although in this case I would have thrown the receipt away with the packaging, not knowing the barcode was partway missing.  I don't even know how much the card was worth as it wasn't written on it, but based on the other gift card I received, I imagine it was about $50.  At least $25.  Doesn't matter about the amount, I sent photos with my email and vanilla gift should just apologize for the error and check the balance and send the giftcard.  Or maybe they can't check the balance without a full barcode; I couldn't check it because of that.  So what are the numbers on the front of the card for if they go by the numbers on the barcode?  It makes no sense to me. Oh well, enough rambling about that.  Maybe I will get a response later today and will have more to share on it.

Dealing with a headache this morning - is that what is making me so grouchy?  

My little sister sent me some 'bling' to put on my watch.  She had sent one before my birthday, but it was too small, so I returned it to her; so she reordered it and I received it yesterday.  So now I have bling!  

My trainer came back from vacation yesterday so we are meeting up tonight for training.  I do enjoy the training, believe it or not.  Tonight will be legs again and since I didn't work on legs last week, I will probably walk very wobbly out to the car afterwards.  I could have done squats while she was gone and I didn't have any training.  But I didn't. I could have gone to the gym or rec center and worked out. Didn't do that either.  I did go to the fitness center at the hotel, but I just wasn't 'in the mood' to do a real workout so only did a few things - and didn't complete the sets.  I'm feeling tired right now.  I know once I get moving around I'll feel better.  Right?

Psalm 16:8 (NKJV):  I have set the Lord always before me; because He is at my right hand I shall not be moved.

Grateful that the Lord is always before me, beside me, and with me.  I don't think people have the sensitivity for Him that generations before had.  I grew up in church and I had a head knowledge of God, but I didn't know Him, even though I went to the altar many times and prayed and asked forgiveness, I was baptized.  I didn't personally know Him because my parents never showed me that side of Him.  When we started going to church out here, I found Jesus - or He found me.  He drew me ever so close to Him and I got to experience His love, His grace, His forgiveness.  I have never regretted my decision to allow Jesus to be Lord of my life.  He is the reason I am alive, He is the reason I am here today.  You have no idea of what I have been through in my life; and most you will never know.  But I will tell you that if it wasn't for Jesus, I would not be here; I would not be the person I am today.

So you don't care about Jesus?  That's your choice.  I love Jesus and I choose to always put Him and His Will before mine.  Sure, I fall sometimes and do stupid things that I know disappoints Him, but when I return and ask forgiveness, He always extends His grace to me.  And He will do that for you as well, if you return with a sincere repentant heart.  I have nothing to fear from Him.  Sure, I have to suffer the consequences of my actions, but Jesus will always walk through those circumstances with me, growing me, helping me, loving me.  He has never stopped loving me.  And He has never stopped loving you, no matter how many times you have turned your back on Him.

My heart and my flesh cry out for Him, to know Him more.  There is no greater friend than Jesus. He will never leave you; He will never leave you fatherless.  He is God in the flesh.  I remember crying in a hotel room when I was about 14 years old, for my father who died when I was 7.  I don't know what triggered it, I don't know why I was inconsolable.  I remember at one point I felt a warmth encircle me, and my heart was calmed; my tears stopped.  My heavenly Father loved me. He knew my pain; He felt my loss.  And He comforted me as only He could.  I haven't thought of that in years.  Even when I didn't heart-know Him, He knew me.  And He knows you.

I will set the Lord always before me, because He is always at my right hand so that I will not be moved.

Blessings!  

My energy is depleted - why?

 I am beginning to wonder if I am anemic.  I know the last time I tried to donate blood it had gone from 13.4 to 11.2 in the 8 weeks.  That's a big drop in iron in 8 weeks.  Could that be why I feel exhausted and just want to sleep?  What is wrong with me?  Could it be that the last 5 days that we spent doing nothing, really, that my body is reacting to that?  We did work out one day, but still, I didn't do much.  I don't know what is going on - and I don't like it.  Is it depression?  Yes, that thought has occurred to me as well, but why?  I know of one reason, but I surrendered it to God last night in my darkest time of despair.  Lord, Help.

Yesterday I ended up not going to church, but we watched a great message from Pastor Jentezen Franklin at 8AM, then watched our church at 10AM.  Hubby meant to go to church, but Pastor Jentezen went a bit longer than usual - and it was a message that I wish my children and grandchildren would listen to.  He shared information about the upcoming choices we have for the election and what our choices could end up being for us.  I sent the message to a few grandchildren last night.... one sent back a video on Robert Kennedy.  That felt like a stab in the back.  Do they not realize the democrats have dismissed him and they are focusing on the Harris/Walz ticket?  I'm sure Robert Kennedy is a good man with good values.  And I must stop there. All I can tell them, is that if they are a Christian as they say they are, they must vote the Bible - in spite of who they are voting for.  Look at past records, look at the polices they are promoting. Don't look at the person or how they voice their opinion.  I am broken hearted right now, and I am disappointed, and I am afraid of what our future will be like if the world votes against God again.  Heaven help us; Lord take us home quickly.  

I slept sound again last night but found it difficult to get up this morning. Coming in here, I tried to sleep more, but after about 1/2 hour, heard hubby getting up to get my coffee.  I tried to sleep again, but knew that I wanted to read my Bible and pray and write in my journal - and in here - so needed to get moving. If I do not write early in here some day, it is because I fell asleep and there was no time left.  Would anyone - other than my oldest son who uses this as a gauge of checking up on me (I love it) even miss a post or two. All I do is ramble anyway, right?

My sore throat subsided mid-morning and after cooking breakfast, I took yet another nap, and then headed to the grocery store.  Yes, I went the day before to Fry's, but hubby is nearly out of his V8 that he likes to drink daily, so I was going to Sam's Club to pick up a case.  Then as I drove out, I didn't want to go to Sam's Club... I always buy more then we need because that's how you buy things there.  So I decided to go to Safeway this time.  And I probably bought more.  I did buy a bottle of V8 so that can get him by for a few more days.   Fixed dinner and then we just sat for the evening. Can you believe hubby left the TV off and read?  I worked on the new blanket; tried to read some.  It was a boring evening.

And today I am back to work in another half hour - where is the time going this morning?! Timecard Monday - but that is no big deal anymore.  Last time I looked I had 271 messages, but not all those are mine.  I know I left a couple meetings to schedule when I quit work on Tuesday; I knew they could wait. So I need to get on those this morning as well.  I need my job... not worried so much about financials, but for my sanity.  The last 5 days have proved that.  Maybe it is because we did nothing. My joy in living life is fading away; what is there to live for?  

Melancholy this morning, aren't I?  I must push myself beyond my self's thought and feelings - and DO SOMETHING.  I need to find joy again.  Maybe I will check into taking an online Bible course. There are lots out there and I often think about it, but then talk myself out of it and do nothing.  Maybe take a college course? But in what?  I'd love to learn Spanish again - yes, I took 101 and 102 in college, but the instructor I had really didn't teach that well and I have retained very little, even with taking Duolingo on my phone, I do it for awhile and then stop.  Bored?   I go to the gym twice a week for training.  But without my trainer, I don't want to go.  What am I to do?  I need a social life, I think.  Maybe I do need to consider joining the 'over 55' women's group that meets every other Thursday for a bible study.  I missed the first week, which was last week.  I have time to think about it.  I need to be with people and have intellectual and interesting conversations.  I miss my work people.

I John 5:12 (NKJV):  He who has the Son has life; he who does not have the Son does not have life.

When John wrote the above passage to make it as plain as he could.  If we believe in Jesus, we live; if we do not believe in Jesus, and follow Him, we do not live.

Hmmm.  Based on what I was rambling about in a previous chapter, it sounds like I don't have Jesus in my life.  But I do. I believe in Jesus. I believe He is the Son of God. I believe that He died on the cross for all my sins and that He rose again on the third day, and that now He lives forever, seated on the right of our Father God.  I believe in the Bible and I stand upon it's Word.  I believe the Word is God-breathed into men to write so that we can know who God is, who Jesus is, and who the Holy Spirit is.  

Sometimes we let people hurt us so deeply and we dwell on it, instead of surrendering it to God and asking Him to open eyes and hearts to Him.  O God, please hear the prayers of my heart and mind; let not the enemy prevail against You or Your Word.  Your Word is truth. Your Word is what I stand upon. 

Precious Lord, take my hand. Lead me on, help me stand. I am tired, I am weak, I am worn.  Through the storm, through the night, lead me on to Your light.  Take my hand, precious Lord, lead me home.

Did you know the story behind that song?  Thomas Dorsey wrote it after losing both his wife and infant child in childbirth.  He was broken. He began to question his faith.  A friend invited him over for dinner; the friend had a grand piano and Dorsey sat down and started playing another song, then just playing music, and then... began to sing the words, Precious Lord, take my hand.....  He finished the song within two-three days after that.  The Sunday at church when it was being sung, people all over the church were sobbing and crying out to God as they sung it; because we all need God.  We all have times in our lives when we reach out our hand and cry out to God and ask Him to take our hand and lead us.

If your body is hurting, have you asked God for healing?  There is a chapter in my book Secrets of the Secret Place that I always think about.  No Plan B, I think the title is.  Do you completely depend on God for your entire life?  Have you put your health in His hands?   Have you put your finances in His hands?  We all know we can't depend on the government as a 'plan B'.   I want to stick with Plan A.  God is more than able to heal my body, restore my broken heart, and make me whole.  I will praise Him with my dying breath.  Not to say I won't go to a doctor if I need to, but I go to God first.

Perhaps that is why the song came to mind this morning.  I need His Word and His direction more than I need anything else in this world.  If He doesn't guide me, I am a lost soul.  That's why I seek Him, that is why I long for Him, that's why I always want more of Him.    Just give me Jesus.  He is enough.

Blessings!

Back home and content....

 Other than a run by the drug store to pick up hubby's eyedrop medication, we came straight home yesterday from the hotel. It really was nice to get away - and it causes one to appreciate what they have. It was good to get home.  I finished up the blanket I had started while at the hotel and ran out of yarn - and as we watched a couple of movies last night, I got a good start on another blanket using my scraps of yarn.  It will be a mismash of different yarns and colors.  I did make a run to the grocery store yesterday and picked up a few things.  So what did we have for dinner?  Pizza.  Hey- they were on sale! I don't normally buy pizza at the store, but did this time, and that is what we had. After all, I am still on vacation, right?

I came down with a headache bad enough last night that I took an ibuprofen.  By the time we went to bed, I was sweating (what's up with that?).  Could it be that because hubby had the temperature down in our hotel room 73-75 all the time and coming back here it was 80 that my body was rebelling?  I don't know, but I knew my head hurt.  I was sweating.  We went to bed and I slept sound all night (didn't even get up once!) and didn't wake up until about 5:30AM when I could hear hubby walking back and forth in the hallway to check on me, to see if I was up yet.  Seriously, his shuffling feet wake me up most mornings when I could use a bit more sleep.  I finally got up and came in here, and here he came with my coffee.  Asking me how my head was, did I continue to sweat, etc.  Was I going to church this morning, and if not, he would go alone.  I just told him I don't know what I'm doing yet (cause I wasn't quite awake yet!).  Part of me is entertaining the thought of staying home - especially if I could stay alone.  I can watch the service on my phone or computer, so I wouldn't really miss it.  It's the being alone.  Not sure if I should go or not - am I coming down with something?

I peeked outside while hubby was in the shower and saw that it rained.  That could explain my headache last night.  I wonder how much it rained, for I heard nothing. My sore throat has disappeared, I think. But I feel exhausted for some reason, although I slept deep last night.  Do I need to stay home and rest or get my butt moving this morning and go to church? Do I want to 'dress up'? Or just throw on shorts and a t-shirt? I still have an hour to make the decision.  I am not understanding the exhaustion in my body this morning. I'll take some olive leaf extract this morning and some elderberry in case I am coming down with something. Just not sure if I am, and don't want to spread it at church if I am. I have an hour.

It's Sunday.  Last day of 'vacation'.  Last day of rest before work tomorrow.  Nothing is planned, other than church. Our lives are so boring.  I can read. I can sew. I can crochet or knit. I can cook. This is my life.   B-O-R-I-N-G.  Sometimes it is a good thought to keep working, right? At least it keeps my mind active.  If I could just do something different 'alone'..... but the joy is always stolen from me.  

Philippians 1:21 (NKJV):  For to me, to live is Christ, to die is gain.

How would you interpret that sentence?  Paul wrote it to the Philippians from the prison he was in. Yes, Paul was in prison when he wrote to the Philippians.... and that book of the Bible is know as the book of JOY.  Can you even imagine?  And the prisons back then are nothing like what people get pampered with today!  Most times they were sitting in mud.  Sewage.  Slime.  YUCK.  They weren't fed, unless they had friends who brought them food, which Paul had.  Luke was with him a lot.  But Paul considered it all joy to be suffering for his belief in Jesus.  Could we feel that way?

We get upset when we don't get our way, when we don't get what we believe in the way we want it. We throw temper tantrums and our feelings get hurt!  And here is Paul, in prison, writing to the Philippians, telling them it is all joy to live for Christ.  But Paul got it.  Paul said the big picture.  He may have been suffering at that time, but he knew that as he lived for Christ in this life, he could share Christ more with others.  BUT, he also shared that if he should die, it would be a gain, for he would BE with Christ, and his death would also be a witness to the world he was sharing to about Christ Jesus.  So to live, he could share, and if he died, he had the greater for he knew he would be face to face with Jesus.  Hallelujah!  I wonder today if many people think like that.  If they are going through tough times, do they throw in the towel and say "I Quit!" or do they keep going, knowing that however it ends up, Christ is in it?  What would you do?  Would you give up and bemoan and complain about your circumstances, or would you praise God that you were allowed to suffer, to deal with disappointment, to process health issues and diseases, do you praise Jesus in spite of it, or do you quit and moan about your life?

Honestly, I guess I moan and groan about my life a lot, don't I!  Guilty me.  Instead I should be grateful for this life that I have.  God has been good to me. What I have been writing is also speaking to me this morning.  As most times it does.   Be joyful in all things.  Things happen - good and bad.  It doesn't mean we are loved less.  Sometimes we do stupid things and cause difficult things to happen. And sometimes God takes that trial we are going through to make us better people, to be more concerned about others than we are about our own well-being.  

To God be the glory, great things He has done.

Blessings!