Playing the 'waiting' game

 I did have my say yesterday. Yes, it came to that.  I stayed here in the back room most of the day, trying to wrap up Christmas gifts and sort out who for and what I still need to purchase.  Some will be disappointed, I'm sure, others will be ok with what they get.  It's not the gift; it's the thought behind it, right?  So what if it is just a shirt - it's a NEW shirt, right? LOL  I did get a lot of packages wrapped yesterday - and still, only a dent looks like it made in this mess in here.  I may work on it more again today but then again, it IS Sunday and I DO have a at least 24 days before anyone comes over for Christmas gifts.  

I do need to kick up my baking and stop eating it.  I may have mentioned before, I have the 10th, 11th, 13th, 18th, and 23rd as specific dates I need to have 'gifts of baked goods' prepared.  Yeah - I have a lot of baking to do - not counting what I want to send to my siblings in Indiana for their Christmas gifts.  After all these years of my sending my big brother my cranberry pumpkin nut bread.... he tells me recently as we chatted, that he doesn't like pumpkin.  But he also did tell me that he did eat a slice occasionally when I have sent it to him.  NOW what can I send?  That's my 'signature' Christmas bread, right?  I'm going to have to go through my cookbooks and come up with other things.  I love making things and giving it away.  And he will get a loaf of the cranberry pumpkin nut bread anyway - he says they also slice it when they have gatherings.  So there. It does get eaten. I think.  LOL

Ok- I'm sure you ae wondering how yesterday went.  As mentioned above, I did stay in this room and wrap gifts most of the day.  Hubby came in and out a couple times and asked a question and I responded, but not real conversation.  Early afternoon as I came out to do something, he asked me if 'something was wrong'.  Now God is always listening to us.  I had asked God for opportunity to talk with hubby and discuss this situation.  The opportunity was provided by hubby asking me if something was wrong.  I told him.

I told him exactly what I was thinking - about his driving skills.  I reminded him he was 88 years old and his skills were not what they were 20 years ago.  I reminded him he hit my car (which he quickly denied but I told him I have proof!!) and now had hit the daughter's car.  I told him that I am scared he will hit someone or hit something and we will be sued and we will lose everything I have worked for all these years.  (Surprised he didn't 'correct' me with WE versus 'I' - cause he KNOWS who has provided for him.) I told him that I wanted giving up his keys to be his decision.  I also told him that any money from the sale of the car is his, (I have a possible buyer already) he will have money from no car payment, insurance, warranty that he pays. He will have money to do things with.  I told him that I have been fighting tears all morning (and I had) because I am so stressed out lately because of him, and now because of this, that I am afraid that I will have a stroke.

I accused him of being prideful; that he wanted to drive to 'prove' he was still able to.  He denied and said I was trying to take away his freedom.  I basically told him that I wasn't taking away his freedom, I was giving him freedom.  I reminded him Dr. Mark has told me I have to go with him to dr. appointments - so I will be taking him to all of them.  I can take him to the pharmacy when need to. I showed him how poorly he walks - bent over and shuffling feet.  He remained unmoved and did not dispute it.  He commented about his 'church stuff' - which I assume is his bible studies - one on Tuesday nights and one every other Wednesday at 1PM - and one on Friday mornings.  I told him we both could learn how do to Lyft or Uber - there will be a time that I will need to give up my car - and I can tell you, I won't be fighting anyone about it.  I don't think.  I don't go anywhere now; why would I need to go anywhere then, right?  Anyway - I digress...

I also told him that if I had a stroke because of this, or got hurt, he WOULD lose his freedom because he would have to give it all up to take care of me - car or no car.  He just sat there and listen to the rest of my spiel - and I reminded him he needed to make the decision; I wanted it to be his decision.  But I have no problem making it for him if he doesn't.  And I turned and walked away.  I continued to work in here until about 4PM when I came out and fixed dinner.  We ate in silence and then he asked if I wanted to watch a movie before Notre Dame played at 8:30PM and I told him no.  And he left the TV off, until game time.  We never spoke.

Church today and I am wondering how I can go worship God when I'm so frustrated, hurt, and grieved inside.  But, worshipping God is exactly what I need to be doing during these times.  Perhaps, just perhaps, God will get through his (and my) brain on what needs to happen.  Prayer is the key that unlocks all doors, and I believe that in God's timing, the right decision will be made.  I have made the decision that I will no longer ride with hubby.  We will fight about that.  But he has been having me drive to church, to our joint bible study, and usually if we go out to dinner, I drive.  So it isn't like he has been driving all the time.  He only drives to his bible studies and pharmacy and labs and to visit a friend who had a stroke.  (and I reminded him how bad Chuck looked)  And I get the feeling of loss of freedom. I understand it, I really do.  I'm not being mean.  I will refuse to ride with him anywhere.  And I believe he will come around to the right decision.  Oh - and I told him that if he hadn't made the decision by our early February doctor appointment, I will tell Dr. Mark to tell him to quit driving.  He retorted back "you better not!" and I told him I will do so if he doesn't make the right decision, AND I will tell MVD not to renew his license - even if he could pass the tests now.  I'm dead serious (without being dead) that I am done with this.  

I am going to give him a couple days to process, for I do want him to make the decision and not me.  But I will make it if I have to.  And I am going to tell him to take his name off the house, and my name off his car (his is not on mine). (not that he will or I will, just a threat right now)  He won't like that nor will he do it, but I will get my point across; I am not going to lose everything because of him. Marriage is for better or worse, but I think that does not mean when people are stubborn and you lose everything because of them. 

Well, there you have it.  He will give me an answer before this week is out.  I will demand it.  We are riding with the daughter to a funeral tomorrow afternoon and will be gone most of the day (I have training in the morning).  I am thinking he wants to discuss with his 'accountability partner' on Tuesday night.  Will see.  

Isaiah 30:20 (NKJV):  And though the Lord gives you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, yet your teachers will not be moved into a corner anymore. But your eyes shall see your teachers.

We may be going through difficult times right now (bread of adversity and water of affliction), but I will stand my ground and not be pushed aside any longer.  The Lord is my strength and shield, and He will cause eyes to be opened and reasoning returned.  I am confident in the Lord's ability to do all things.

Holy is His name.  His mercies are new every morning; Great is His faithfulness to me.

Blessings!

The disadvantage of stocking stuffer edibles...

 Not that it matters, since we have 26 days to go, thereabouts, they may be all gone by then.  I bought small donuts to put in the Christmas stockings for the kids this year.  In hopes to help fill them up inexpensively.   Well, I've eaten two packages (or is it three?) and I shouldn't have opened them in the first place.  Not all at once, of course, but in the mornings here with my coffee, it is easy to just reach out and grab a package from the opened box.  Yes, that was my first mistake, opening the box, right?

I have a trial I'm going through. A situation. A problem. And I am beside myself. I have spoken my piece, and I know I will have to state it again - and probably again and again.  I am devastated inside.  I am crushed. I am beaten up and spit out tired.  And all I have to do is write one word and many of you will understand somewhat of what the 'problem' is.  Yes.  Hubby.

Hubby is 88 years old and overall, he is a good man.  He really tries hard to be loving and kind, but since he really wasn't shown love and kindness growing up, he isn't sure how to behave that way.  He tries, but all he does is seemingly, for the most part, those he loves the most (and I truly believe he loves them, he just doesn't know how to show it), is push people away.  

Something I have not told here or to anyone.... (at least I don't think I did)... a few months back I came out of the gym and noticed a spot on my left rear fender.  I thought someone had backed into me at first and was upset no message was left. No dents, just the paint was scratched, one spot to the metal.  I drove home, thinking about it.  I pull into the garage and as I walked past hubby's car, I noticed his right front fender had blue paint on it and scratches.  I measured the height against my car.  I took pictures.  I finally confirmed to myself that what I suspected was true.  Hubby had hit against my car backing out of the garage.  How does he do that?  I'm always closing my eyes when he drives because of it.  

He has knocked the mirror off on the left of his car against the garage twice.  Once since we have been in this location.  It's $250 every time he does.  He is so careful to watch the left side of the car when he pulls out of the garage - or in - that he is way over on the right side, where my car sits.  My thinking is that as he pulled in or backed out one day, he rubbed against my car on the right, while giving himself a wide berth on the left.  And I'm not even sure if he realized it,

I did not mention my car so much as I asked him what happened to the front of his car, that it was all scratched up with blue paint.  You would have thought he would have gotten up to look, right?  Nope. He continued watching TV and said 'someone at the doctor's office backed into me.'  I didn't say anything for a few days, and I went back and checked his car and my car several times before my accusation.  I finally confronted him.  He denied it. He has no clue he hit my car.  Even when I showed him where and the paint still his car (cause it hadn't been washed) - and finally he said he could have done it, he guessed.  And never apologized. Just acted like a minor detail.  Afterall, it was MY car.

Here is where it gets worse.  My son-in-law and daughter came over at 8AM yesterday while hubby was at his bible study so that they could put together the buffet.  (Needless to say, 4 hours later I am being told to never buy a put together from Walmart again - buy either already completed or from IKEA).  Yes, it took over 4 hours for them to put it together.  Hubby comes home, speaks and goes into his 'office'.  A short time later he asks if they would like for him to go to Arby's to get them a sandwich. SIL declined, but daughter said she'd take a sandwich.  He didn't ask me.  When he returned, he tells the SIL and daughter that he backed into their fender (they had parked in the driveway, way over on my side of the driveway) and that he would pay for it getting fixed.  None of us went out to look at the time. They continued to work.  Me, I was baking to keep busy. 

The SIL told him that 'perhaps it is time you give up your keys' - which hubby ignored and walked into the other room.  I really think he isn't hearing people anymore.  The other day Morgan told me that hubby scared her - he just wasn't responding to what she was telling him and he wasn't doing the exercises like she had said.  She also said she told him he was scaring her.  He doesn't understand.

Hubby started to leave again to go somewhere and the SIL raced outside to move his car.  The SIL said it was 'just a scratch' but didn't know if it could be repaired (I think that is what he said) and he wasn't going to replace the entire piece.  

Hubby and I did have this discussion after they left and, as expected, he lost it.  He knows he needs to quit driving, but he is afraid he will give up 'living' if he does. He didn't say that - I just 'hear' that when he argues with me about it.  I am going to talk to him  - again - about giving up his keys and even went so far as to tell him that if we could sell his car to the youngest son for his daughter, then he could keep the money, plus not having a car payment and no insurance payment, and no warranty payment, he could come out several hundred dollars ahead each month.  I'm hoping his love of having money will outweigh his insecurity of getting older.  I don't know the youngest son will buy it - but we can't afford to 'give' it - hubby still owes a couple on it at least yet.  

I want to ask my daughter to come over and show him how to use Uber when I can't drive him somewhere.  I've never used it so I don't know - but I am willing to learn as well.  At some point I also will need to give up my car; but I'm hoping I have a few years yet. Maybe, maybe not.  But I have to get hubby convinced he needs to let go of his fear of not having transportation available and see that the next time he will hit someone who will take revenge or will seriously hurt someone.  I told him last night as we were having this discussion - but I'm sure he had already shut me 'off' mentally - that what he was going to do was hit someone and I would be left with nothing for the future for they would take everything and it would be his fault.  I have to say the drastic words with the hope he will hear me. 

But he doesn't. Most is his hearing.  He only hears what he wants to hear.  Last night he asked if I wanted to watch a Christmas movie.  I told him "No".  He repented "No"?  and then turned the TV on to Up Faith and Family to watch a Christmas movie.  I looked at him and said "You don't listen to me! I told you NO".  He looked so surprised; he said "I thought you said yes!"  AFTER he repeated the word 'No' that I had spoken!  

We are going to have this conversation again.  I've got to make him see that he causes me much fear and anguish while he is out - and he can't even go in or out of the garage without hitting something. His anger is fierce at times, but I have to stand up to him. I've got to help him see there is no shame nor fear is using Uber.  He's afraid he won't get to go to his Bible studies - but I've told him I can either take him and pick him up - or he can take Uber.  He isn't going to miss out on life.  He doesn't have a life! UGH!

So I've been praying this morning for opportunities that I can help him see that it's past time.  The oldest son told him years ago he needed to give up his keys and he refused then.  I've mentioned it several times and again, get anger and refusal.  Now he has been told again.  I can't let up.  I have to keep at him.  I get it; he is afraid of losing his independence, but he won't.  He will actually gain it.  Please pray for him that he will see it is past time to let go of the keys.  And for me, as I pursue pushing him to this decision.  We have to let him 'think' it is his decision; or the battles will continue.  Lord, please HELP!

And yes, I've already eaten a package of donuts this morning.  I'm about ready for another cup of coffee this morning.   I did not wrapping yesterday, but did get several rows completed on an afghan for a great-grandson for Christmas (I still can't believe I hadn't given him one and he is now three!) - plus I made cookies, muffins, and eggs ole' yesterday morning.  I was pretty exhausted with all the stuff yesterday .... Lord help me stay focused on getting this room cleared out.  Got to figure out where I'm at.

Oh - and another saga - my delivery from Sam's Club did not arrive yesterday - if it doesn't arrive today - I will be going down there on Sunday to see what in the world is going on.  They divided my order into three sections - pick up (which you heard how that went, I think), delivery (a small portion of my order was delivered on Wednesday), and the rest of my order is somewhere out in Goodyear, the last time I tracked it.  It was to be here yesterday.  Ah - I did just check - it says arriving today. At least it is nothing special I need - but I will write a letter to Sams Club and tell them about my entire ordeal.

And with all this information, I am getting off here.  I need to get dressed and figure out what I'm going to do in here today.  I know hubby is expecting me to 'cook breakfast' for him - after all, it is Saturday.  I made eggs ole' yesterday; guess what is for breakfast.  Maybe I'll go heat him up some of it and tell him I'm staying in here for awhile.  Lord help.  Please help.  

Be kind to others today.  Some of us are really going through difficult times.  We know what needs to be done, but we are helpless in regards to some things.  Please pray we have breakthrough on whatever the issues are.

Blessings!

Food coma over, not back to focus

 Yeah, I actually did pretty good yesterday as far as a 'food coma'.  I didn't overeat.  I even skipped the dessert - of which there was plenty.  We went over to the daughter's for lunch and had plenty to eat, for sure.  It was a good time, and I think most, if not all, enjoyed the time we all spent together.  We didn't stay long, but long enough.  Came home and I finished pulling the meat off the turkey and putting it away. Left all the desserts at the daughter's.  Dinner was some turkey and dressing and giblet gravy; and I imagine hubby about finished the dressing and giblet gravy for I didn't have much left.  And, of course we had to watch a couple Christmas movies before heading to bed.  He just doesn't 'hear' my loud sigh every time he asks if I want to watch a Christmas movie after I tell him I just want to enjoy the quiet.

Hubby has already left for his bible study this morning.  Daughter and SIL are to come over some time today to put together my buffet.  I need to get our table cleared off as it is loaded down right now.  I expect them sometime around 7:30-8AM as they want to come when hubby is gone.... he always has to offer to help and watch.  Yeah, he does it to me as well, so I get it.  I leave them alone and let them put things together for me. :-)

I am off work today, and have so much to do!  Yes, still need to wrap gifts.  Yes, still need to pull a message together for December 7 at the RV park.  I have to get a rough draft before Sunday for they will be calling to get the title and scripture on Sunday.  I hope to at least get that far by this afternoon.  

I think I've gone ait overboard (again) on buying 'little things'.... I see something and hey, it's only like $6.98 so why buy one, right?  I have several grandsons, I can get for each one for a gift, right?  But then, that 'little thing' isn't enough so I still have to get something else, and well, now what am I going to do with all these 'little things'?  LOL  I do this every year.  I see something for someone and of course want to share the same thought with the others - whether they would use it or not.  When will I ever learn?  I think soon, for I have to quit shopping.

I'm done with hubby's Christmas gifts. I think I'm done with the daughter's.  The boys are much harder to buy for.  All of them,  I know, like me, there is nothing they want nor need.  So I try to get everything for them that I 'think' they might want or need, right?  You, too, will find yourself in this same mode in a few more years.  

I Thessalonians 5:18 (NKJV):  in everything give thanks, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

In everything give thanks.  Sometimes that is hard, isn't it?  It's hard to give thanks when you get a bad diagnosis.  It's hard to give thanks when you have a prodigal child.  It's hard to give thanks when you lose your job. It's hard to give thanks when relationships go bad.  

But Paul is telling the Thessalonians that they should give thanks for everything.  So how does that apply to us?  We also are to give thanks in everything.  Giving thanks in all things doesn't mean giving thanks to God for bad things that happen, but realizing that God is at work to produce good, even in the bad stuff.

How many times has something 'bad' happen, and later you see the good from that bad?  I know I have.  The bad stuff is painful, though, and sometimes we wonder why is God allowing us to go through all that bad stuff.... and yet, He will turn it all around for good.  I'm not even going to try to give you examples, for each one of us have things that trouble us and we wonder if any good will come from it. We may not see it within ourselves, but others may see the good come from the bad. Does that make sense?  Try thanking God for everything - and let Him work His good in and through all of us.

And, with that, I know this is short, but I have a very short timeframe of hubby being gone and I can actually get some things done without supervision.  Not being mean, just truthful. I don't always need supervision.  :-)

I need to get started on my baking too.  So much to do; so little time.

Have a great day - and do something special for someone.  You can never go wrong in doing for others.

Blessings!

Thanksgiving day - and giving thanks

 We went to bed early last night.  I mean before 8PM early.  I had shut down the work computer at 3PM and sent a text to my boss that I had done so. I only had a few things to do yesterday so it was not a busy day with two bosses out.  Thank goodness.  I took off at 3PM and headed over to Michael's as I needed to get some yarn (imagine that) for a couple projects I want to do for Christmas.  Got them, stopped for protein shakes on the way home for dinner and back home for the day.  Yeah, we went out to eat for lunch and hubby ate well (as did I with my grilled cheese and potato soup) so shakes were ok for dinner.  Sugar-free butterfinger shakes.  So good.  Anyway - about 7:45PM, I told hubby I was going to bed; I was so exhausted.  He followed.

I slept sound until about 3AM but I stayed in bed and finally drifted back off to sleep.  Next I heard hubby scurrying across the tile floor of the hallway to the bathroom about 4:40AM.  I laid there, hoping to go back to sleep, but could not, so got up.  Major headache again this morning - and a sore throat!  What's up with that?  Excedrin to the rescue again this morning first thing.  Both are now gone.  It's not about 6AM and I still need to get out of here and get the turkey in the roaster oven.  We plan to have lunch around noon at the daughter's and since I am doing the turkey, I need to make sure it's done. Besides, I need the turkey broth for the dressing and giblet gravy.  The dressing is complete except for the eggs and broth.  Did the cornbread, bread (thanks to my daughter who brought it over).  Oh yeah, I still need to chop up celery and onions to put in it.  Yipes, nearly forgot!  But have plenty of time for that.  Anyway - deviled eggs just need to be put together as I mixed that up last night.  There will be so much food today - and my appetite level has shrunk drastically lately since I've cut back on eating so much.

Have you checked the price of wrapping paper lately?  YIPES!  I haven't bought wrapping paper for about 3 years because I bought a large amount on sale and it has lasted - until this year.  I went to the dollar store yesterday and it was $3 a roll - and there isn't that much there!  I picked up two because I did need paper.  I went to Michael's to get yarn and checked the paper - and it was over $11 for ONE ROLL.  Nope, didn't do it.  I will work with what I got - and have a lot of bags that I will be using as well.  I will get by this year and will either pick up a bunch of wrapping paper after Christmas, if it is on sale low enough, or I have come up with another idea for wrapping paper in the future.  I refuse to pay $11 for one roll of wrapping paper!  It wasn't even a large roll!  But stores know we 'need' wrapping paper and will eventually buy it.  NOPE.  When I was growing up we also used newspapers!  We don't get the newspaper anymore so will resort to my next plan next year.

Sams Club just sent me a text that the rest of my order will be delivered tomorrow.  Glad none of it was for Thanksgiving!  It's all junk food for the stockings.  And for baking cookies.  :-)  Got to have things for cookies.  Right?  I only have two mama plates returned; I think it is the youngest who hasn't returned his yet - I'll have to ask him if he is wanting cookies this year.   I need to figure out what to bake for the others.  I wrote down a couple things - but as my mind is overflowing with 'things' I don't know where I put my list.... so, please tell me what cookies you want again....  I AM getting older and it's harder to remember things, right?

Hubby just opened my door to ask when I was putting the turkey on.  I told him "soon" so I guess I need to focus on finishing this and getting in the kitchen.  I got interrupted with receiving Happy Thanksgiving notes and responding to them. :-)

I am so glad I am off work on Friday and can focus on getting gifts wrapped and out of this room.  It seems no matter how many I wrap, I get another shipment in and have to start all over.  Buy I mean it; I am trying to cut back.  Of course the grandchildren usually only get two gifts anyway.  This year is the hardest in some ways.  If you know what your child's favorite cookie is (speaking to my children), please let me know cause that may be part of their gift this year!  A bag of homemade cookies from grandma - that works, doesn't it?    Some just tell me they want my salsa.   I have started cutting back on making salsa since the other year when I did over twenty quarts and then some didn't take and I 'had' to find others to take it.  It only lasts about 3 weeks in the refrigerator because it is without preservatives.  Have to give away to not throw away.  Maybe I will just make pint jars this year. I love to make it for the children and grandchildren, and have everything to make up a few batches.  It all takes time and money, of which I'm in slim supply, but it is a gift.  At least to me it is.  They may not think so.

I John 4:7  Dear friends, let us love one another because love is from God, and everyone who loves has been born of God, and knows God.

We are heading into a new season here.  First of all, today.  Thanksgiving Day.  A day of giving thanks for family, for provision, and for friends.  Why not take a pause and speak words of thankfulness to those around you?  "Thank you for all you do."  "Thank you for providing for us." "Thank you, Lord, for blessing us so abundantly with family and friends."  

There are so many things to be thankful for, if you would but stop and think about them.  "Thank you for life." "Thank you for health."  "Thank you we are together."  So.many.things.to.be.thanksful.for.

Praise God for His blessings and His provisions for us.  I'm thankful for my children and grandchildren, and great grandchildren.  I am truly blessed by God by each one of them.  Thank You, Lord. 

And then Christmas is right around the corner!  Less than a month away!!  I will not stress about it and gifts I need to make and buy - but will treasure the journey to bless those who are in my life.  God has been so good to me.  He alone is worthy of praise, worship, and adoration. Hallelujah!

And with that - I need to get off here, get out of this room, and into the kitchen to get that turkey on to cook.  I got a small one because I thought we were going to have ham as well.... but it looks like no ham so a small turkey is it.  Hubby alone is a big eater so hope there is enough for everyone; I only got a 16 pound - and you know a lot of that is bone!  I can skip the turkey; go right for the dressing and giblet gravy. :-)  So. good. 

Have a very blessed Thanksgiving day.  I pray for travel mercies for those who are traveling.  I pray for love and warmth and special memories to abound within families.  This is what makes Thanksgiving great; being with family and those you love.  Remember to love and to make memories.

Blessings!

I survived yesterday - but I'm not sure how.

 Yesterday was horrendously busy and conflicting and stressful.  I mean 'over the top' somewhat stressful. And I was living in and right in the middle of it.  Or that is what it felt like.  Let me share my experience of the day.

Late morning hubby decided he should take me to lunch.  Interpretation:  I'm hungry and I don't want to fix anything for myself.  (my opinion only)  So he asked to take me to lunch.  I'm busy with a lot of meetings for work, but I know when he 'asks', it is usually better to say ok than not.  (but I do sometimes say 'no'.) He said 'your choice' so I sat and thought about it as I worked.  At his next presence at the door of the room, I told him Arby's.  It's fast, food isn't bad, and it's done.  Of course we always have to go inside to eat.  sigh.  So we go in and I get a roast beef slider and a small drink.  He gets is market sandwich, fries and a soda.  In all fairness, I do eat half of his fries.  So we sit and eat and come back home and I get back on the work computer.  

Earlier in the day I decided to do a pickup order at Frys - and then also one at Sam's Club cause on some things I get better prices at one or the other.  I scheduled them both between 2-3PM so that I could get both in one trip.  Stopped at Frys first and got my order very quickly.  Went on to Sam's Club to pick up my order, expecting to be done quickly.  That was my first mistake.  

First of all, this was the first time I had ordered from Sam's Club for a pick-up.  Half of my order they threw into 'delivery' which is fine. And that's another story for after this one.  (I told you it was a stressful day).  I spent perhaps 10 minutes driving through the very full aisles, trying to find where you do curbside pickup - and finally found it on the side of the building, and not in front where I usually park.  All 14 (yes, 14!) spaces were filled.  So I wait until one pulls out - #1 in fact - and I quickly whipped into that parking spot.  On my left is Pharmacy pick-up #1 and #2.  Then Curbside pickup for #1 is me.  And I began the wait.  I figured, ok, there were 13 others there before me so they needed to be delivered first.  Right thinking, correct?  Well, I waited.  And waited. And waited.  After I noticed that cars around me were coming and going, after about an hour, I stopped one of the delivery men and asked how much longer would I have to wait on my order.  

You won't believe this.  My order was showing already picked up.  We figure what happened is that sometimes people will pull into the pharmacy #1 and #2 spots and it isn't for pharmacy, but they will key in they are there in #1 for their pick-up order, and whoever was delivering the order, didn't check order number nor name, but put MY order in the #1 car.  I laugh because there was nothing in there for Thanksgiving dinner - it was just snacks!  The man graciously said he would go pick up another order for me - and he did, and I had it finally and could head home.  By now it is 3:45PM and I still had to finish up my work day.

Tag on Morgan had text'd and asked if I'd rather do 5PM (yesterday) rather than 7AM (today).  DUH. I took the 5PM so here I am, trying to get my Sam's club order, I have my Fry's order in the back containing milk and other refrigerated items, needing to get work done before I signed off - and I'm going nuts.  In the middle of this my Amazon order gets delivered. I get home and hubby is asleep in his chair so I brought the groceries in after checking the work computer for any urgent things.  He wakes up to get the last bag.  I put the refrigerated things away and back to the work computer and got ready for my workout.  WHEW.

I got home to find 1/2 of my Sam's Club order was delivered.  I am 'chatting' with Sam's Club wanting to know where the rest of my order was - when I finally see the text that I will receive the rest of my order on Friday.  Now mind you, I'm already hitting 'stress level'.  So I hit cancel and stopped the conversation. And none of it was for Thanksgiving.  And I remembered I forgot to get white bread for the dressing.

Daughter comes over to work on the diamond art project.  She says she has white bread and will come by this afternoon and bring me 4 slices of white bread so that I don't have to stress about getting a loaf. But I still need to get wrapping paper cause I am down to scraps and I got a lot more gifts in yesterday to wrap!

And I'm wondering why my blood pressure is inching up... it was 131/82 this morning - and my pulse was still at 53.  Am I dead and my blood is just pumping wildly?  LOL  I did wake up with a major headache bad enough I took an excedrin even before I took my pills for today.  I'm feeling much calmer now, headache is nearly gone, coffee is in hand, reading and praying done, and here I am spilling my guts out to you.

Well, I can't find the right scripture I wanted to share, but one thing I have learned over the years is that when I surrender whatever is going on in my life to the Lord, He will always take care of it.  He can do a much better job than I can, for sure.  I don't know what to do, I don't understand how to work around things, I can only see what is in front of me.  But our Heavenly Father and Lord of all can see the big picture and He knows exactly what to do.

Sometimes we have to go through things in order to teach us something.  Sometimes those lessons are hard to learn.  And sometimes those lessons are not even for us.  They are for someone else and we may never know who it is for.  Our lives are lived to be a blessing to others.  When we surrender it to Jesus Christ and allow Him to work through us, more lives will be touched for Him.  Our purpose in life is to glorify God.  Think about it.  All Jesus did was to glorify His Father.  And His Father is our Father as well.  All we do and say is to glorify the One who created us.

That's why we have Satan - aka Lucifer - whom God created so beautifully; but Lucifer because proud and wanted to be above God.  That was his downfall.  Literally.  Don't be like Lucifer.  Don't be proud.  Lucifer bad.  God good.

Glorify Jesus and our Heavenly Father.  He created us - we did not create Him.  People raise up idols that they create to worship - seriously?  Are we a god that we can create idols and worship them?  No, there is One Creator and that is God alone.  We are but dirt and back to dirt we go when we die.  God is everlasting.  Worship Him only, and His Son, Jesus Christ. Don't worship angels. Don't worship things. Worship the One who created you in His image.

And with that - I'm off here. I think both of my two major bosses have taken today off so I just need to finish up the meetings I got after I signed off yesterday.  Maybe I can start on this room again.  I may need to remind my daughter about the white bread - but if not, I'll use the wheat and let it go at that. No one will notice the difference anyway - and it may even taste better.  Who knows?  We used white bread because back in Granny's day, whose recipe I use, they didn't have wheat bread and Granny used the bread she baked herself.  My dressing probably doesn't taste anything like hers did.  I can just imagine how wonderful hers was.  Good ole time cooking without all the preservatives in it.  

Have an awesome day and do something good for someone.

Blessings!

Well I didn't sleep all night last night!

 What a change from the night before!  We went to bed at our usual time, and although I had sat yawning for several minutes before bed, once I got into bed, I was wide awake.  Didn't drink caffeine so don't know what caused it.  After about 40 minutes hubby's watch went off.  I mean it buzzed!  He finally opened his eyes to look at it and then turned back over.  I have no idea what that was.  But then at 9:40PM, my watch buzzes!  Our neighbor across the street is telling me our garage door is open.  Sigh.  Once again, hubby is the last one in and forgot to shut it.  I usually go back and check before going to bed, but didn't think of it last night so it's on me.  So I jumped out of bed and shut the garage door and sent a 'thank you' to our neighbor.  Came back to bed and tossed and turned the rest of the night.  Don't believe what my watch is telling me I slept - it shows I was only awake one short time after getting up to shut the garage door.  I KNOW I was awake most of the night - and felt it when I finally got up this morning at 3:45AM because I just couldn't sleep.  I tried to settle down in here for a nap - but nope!  That wasn't happening either so about 4:10AM I just turned the light on and started my morning time with God.

In spite of having a very busy day at work yesterday (a new board is being formed and guess who is going to be the support for it?  Sigh. That gives me three), I was able to get several gifts wrapped and a few under the tree.  I have so many more to buy for and I have no idea what to get.  I truly dislike having to give gift cards; and I don't see the grandchildren often enough to have a clue what they would like.  I generally give all the grandsons a hoodie - I'm sure they have so many now they really don't need another one - but some just may get that very thing, because I don't have a clue.  It's not that I don't love them or want to buy them something they want or something unique; I just don't know what.  Just happened to think that at least one grandson could probably use a gas gift card so I may do that for him.  But give something else as well.  I can't just give them one gift, no matter how many times I say that I am cutting back.  My family has grown a lot these last few years and - well, as long as I'm working, and able to, I will order from Amazon (my favorite shopping place cause I don't have to leave my chair) to buy gifts for everyone.  There will come a time though that I won't have a choice.  And this is why I continue working.  It's my life.

Only one more work day after today until Tuesday!  Yep, I'm off Thursday and Friday because of Thanksgiving, and I'm taking Monday off because we have a funeral/celebration of life to attend of a close friend.  I'm hoping we can ride with my daughter and SIL - I haven't asked yet, but I have no clue where to go; they may not either, but at least we won't be 'alone'. LOL You know me and 'new' places I haven't been.  By myself it isn't so bad... and I'll leave that there.  Anyway - I'm taking Monday off for that, and then I'm taking Friday off because it's the Christmas Idea House with my boss day!  

Yes, I am taking December 5th off to hang out with my boss.  I will need to drive all the way to Mesa to meet up with her with rush hour traffic, but it is worth it.  Hopefully I can find some unique gifts to buy for someone there as well.  Sometimes I do.  We'll have brunch, do some shopping at the Idea house, and then head back to the car.  I do have a hair appointment at 3PM so just may stay out and do some light shopping before heading over there.  Make a day of just for me.  

I need to put in my grocery list at Fry's this morning for pick up tonight.  I don't have everything I need for Thanksgiving and it is just a couple days off.  I knew we couldn't go last night as we met friends for dinner after I worked out.  Which reminds me, Morgan mentioned that hubby really scared her the other day when he was there to work out.  She did not get explicit, but said it was scary enough she told him that he was scaring her!  He never mentioned it to me, of course.  She said that he just seemed extra tired and wasn't able to focus much on the exercises she told him to do.  In the past she says that she tells him and shows him (like she does me) how to do an exercise, and he will do a completely different exercise than what she told him.  And, he doesn't always remember the sequence to do them.  She generally will show us two or three exercises to do in a set.  I know he is trying to be healthy (but won't skip the food he likes) and strong, and I'm sure that is helping him to at least be able to move around, but it does get scary at times.  Yesterday he did his quiet time, and then after breakfast, he sat in his recliner and went through his phone, in between naps (I could hear him in my room, although he denies sleeping), until time for him to go work out with Morgan at 3:30PM.   That was his day yesterday.  B-O-R-I-N-G.  I would have at least read in a book or picked up crochet!  Right?  I can't just sit and look at my phone! 

Not complaining about hubby - I do that often enough.  But I'm praying that God will heal his mind as well as keep him healthy.  His thinking process scares me at times.  My thinking process scares ME at times!  Enough of that!

My blood pressure seems to be consistently higher this past month.  I know work has been stressful, and homelife has been stressful at times.... but today, although my heart rate is like 53, my bp is 139/83 - which is way high for me.  I'm blaming it still on the lack of sleep and the dull pain I still have from my tooth being pulled.  It's still healing, but still sore.  And yesterday I drank some ice water and a piece of ice slipped into my mouth and without thinking, I bit down on the ice.  I love to chew ice.  Yeah, it was right over the pulled tooth area - and I about came out of my chair.  I thought I made it bleed a bit but am not sure.  Needless to say, that area is still pretty sore.  Got to watch that ice!

Colossians 3:17 (NKJV):  And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.

Everything we do and everything we say should give God glory.  Any glory received is not for ourselves, but for the One who made us.  Feeling good today?  Praise God.  Feeling poorly today?  Praise God!  In all things we are to give Him the praise, glory, and thanks.  Even during the tough times when we don't know what the future holds, we are to give thanks to God, because He is the only One who can get us through any thing that life throws at us.  Life is not easy, that's for sure.  I am so grateful Jesus pursued me until I turned to Him.  I've probably screwed up things more often than not, but I am grateful for a loving and kind and forgiving Lord who not only sees all, not only knows what I'm going to do before I do it, already knows the consequences of what will happen because of something I've done, but loves me through it and walks with me as I journey in life.  He does that for you as well.  

Life is hard at times.  I get it.  I live it, just like you do. Perhaps not in the same way, but trust me, life isn't always what it seems.  Many times people have no clue what is going on within a home.  Some things are obvious, of course, but many things are not.  We don't want people to see the 'bad and the ugly' side of life.  Perhaps it is only bad because it is our stuff.

Ok - mind is wandering.  I'm tired already, and I have about 5 minutes before I need to turn the work computer on so may as well get off here and get on it, right?  I have an 8:30AM chiropractor appointment today too, so need to get dressed and ready to head over there about 8:15AM. It takes me 5 minutes to get there, maybe ten minutes for him to 'do his thing', and 5 minutes back.  It's like taking a health break for my body.  I always feel better.  Even with the adaptive chiropractor process, it relieves some stress.  I really need a good, deep massage, I think.  Maybe I will pamper myself soon and go get a massage.  It's been over a year, and I could certainly use some 'stress remover'.  

Anyway - off here - hope you have an amazing day!

Blessings!

I can't believe I slept all night!

 I am usually awake 2-4 hours after going to sleep - but last night, I believe I slept all night!  And a deep sleep at that!  When I awoke this morning, I got up and hit the bathroom as usual.  I didn't look at the clock (actually, I couldn't get my eyes open enough to read it.  When I got back in bed, I looked again and it was 4:23AM.  Time to get up - but I just climbed back into bed!  I didn't want to get up!  But then, I must have awakened hubby when I got up as he started the sighing and moving very slowly, turning this way and that, and finally, it is just wiser for me to get up at that point for there is no way he is going to sleep.  He won't get up until he has to go to the bathroom, but will lay there and sigh, (and he says) afraid of waking me up.  It's just easier to just get up and snuggle down in here.  Which I would have liked to do this morning, but he got up right after I did and would bring my coffee in.  I did have a few minutes though that I could leave the light off and just sink into my chair and continue to 'wake up'.

Church was really good yesterday and I did something.  Yesterday, as I was reading my Bible and praying, I felt like God was telling me that it was time for me to 'step up' at church and get involved more, do more, etc.  I have the Messenger X app on my phone and up popped "it is time for you to level up'.  So when I saw Pastor John, I told him that I felt God was telling me it is time to step up and I had a great message on Gratitude if he wanted a break in speaking.  Not sure how much of my comment he heard, but I said it, and it has been said. I won't mention it any more.  Will see where that goes from here.  I love to preach and share about Jesus. And I felt good yesterday when I shared with him.  Of course I've never preached three services before so that would be a big change for me.  But, I don't know that he would ever let me preach, either.  Not worrying about it.  When we met for lunch several months ago, they told us to let them know when we were ready to get involved because they had places to put us.  I've been quiet, until yesterday.  I put it out there and now I've done my part.  The only Sunday in the new future I'm 'open' is next Sunday, as December is right around the corner and I have 3 Sundays taken with preaching at the RV parks.  Which tells me I need to get busy on the messages, right?

It's Monday again and both bosses are working today.  My big bosses that is.  I have 3-4 others that I support as well, but they aren't the 'big bosses'.  I know I have several messages to look at, and meetings to finish that I requested information on last Friday, but I will take it one day at a time.  This is a busy time here at home with family - and this is a three day week (hallelujah!) - and I can only do so much each day, right?  Plus tonight I have training at 5PM and we are meeting friends for dinner at 5:30PM. Yeah, I'll be late, but I told hubby to go there and talk with them until I can get there, which will be about 15 minutes later. 'It is what it is', right?  

The turkey has been in the refrigerator since last Friday and I'm glad. I checked it out yesterday and it was still pretty frozen on the outside, so know it is on the inside as well.  I moved it to the kitchen refrigerator as it isn't quite as cold as the one in the laundry room.  It should be completed thawed out by Thursday morning.  I'd like to get a smaller turkey after Thursday and keep in freezer for another time.  I have a big grocery list to order online, which I will probably do tomorrow to make sure I have everything I need.  No time to go to grocery today.

Yesterday was somewhat productive and I was tired afterwards, although it didn't seem like I did much.  But, I've lost a tree.  The one that I put on the table outside on the porch.  I think it may be in a box in the far corner of the garage, that I have 50K things in front of it.  So no, I'm not going to clean it out to find it. I'll check around on what's on sale - I only need a 2-3 ft one with out lights - how hard can that be to find. Then I need to get Lil' Debbie treats to put in a bowl.  Although I pretty much limit my shopping deliveries to Tuesday now, and I am about done with shopping, I like to have some snacks there should anyone want.  The tree?  It's my 'wishing tree' - touch a branch and make a wish.  

I remember last Christmas when we had one of our great-granddaughters still, and as she left, she touched the tree branch and at 4 years old, broke my heart when I leaned in to hear her wish "Jesus, will you please give me a family that I can stay with forever."  I may not be remembering the exact words, but you get the jest of it.  She wanted a family.  And it breaks my heart that we have not been able to see her at all since she was taken away unjustly.  Sometimes the courts are not for the children.  People get a burr up their behinds and they want to defy those who want the children and care for them.  And they have the power to do so. But I'm praying that Jesus will intervene and give our family back our great-grandchildren.  

I did get the big tree up, and the tree by the front door yesterday.  So the three trees in the house have been put up.  I didn't cook yesterday other than heating chili up for lunch. Hubby and I both snacked for dinner.  We watched Christmas movies after he watched the football games and some NCIS.  I crochet'd of course. That's what I do while watching movies.  I need to get to Michael's for more yarn - not that I need yarn, but I do need some specific colors that I don't have for Christmas project.

Acts 4:13 (NKJV):  Now when they saw the boldness of Peter and John, and perceived that they were uneducated and  untrained men, they marveled.  And they realized that they had been with Jesus.

I love this verse because it gives me confidence - not in myself, but in God to use me for His glory.  I, too, am 'uneducated' and 'untrained' in many areas.  I've had some training as far as putting messages together, preaching, etc., but I could never 'lead' a church like many can.   I may not preach at theologically as some pastors, but I am willing to share what God has put on my heart and speak in truth. I want to be an empty vessel that God will fill up as He needs me to step up, that I will be used for His glory alone.  I want to be seen as 'a woman wo has been with Jesus'.  That is my heart's desire, more than anything else.  That my life reflects Jesus alone.  People who truly know me may roll their eyes for they know my many mistakes and attitudes about things.... but I hope they also know that my heart always wants to reflect Jesus, whether I 'let it' or not.  

So I pray for boldness to speak God's Word wherever I go.  LOL Ironically, that's a lot of times that hubby gets upset with me because I tend to monopolize the conversation.  Get me talking about Jesus and what He has done in and through those around me - and even in me - and I can't stop talking about His faithfulness and goodness.  It brings me great joy to share about Jesus.  How can I be still and let someone else speak?  LOL  Oh well.  If God wants me to be silent, He will shut my mouth.  In the meantime....

And with that - I need to get off here and get ready for work.  Hopefully it won't be too busy and I can get some more gifts wrapped today.  My goal is by the end of the week I can have all these packages wrapped and under the trees.  Tomorrow will bring a lot more packages so I need to get these out of the way so I can throw the new stuff upon the bed.  And yes, I wrap them all.  Only have a few packages to mail this year and I would like to get those out in a couple weeks.  Maybe next weekend if I have them all done - but I also need to do more baking before I do.  I send my siblings my homemade goodies because although one sister-in-law may bake, I know the other two siblings don't do that - so I want to get things together to send to them.  My lil' sister and I agreed to just one cookbook for Christmas this year.  She wants me to wait a couple weeks until she gets her SS check so she can order my cookbook - I told her I wanted one on casseroles.  She had told me desserts but has now changed her mind so I told her to let me know in a week or so what she wants.  Amazon can ship for me.  But I will still mail a package with my bread and jam as her hubby can only taste my bread (so I've been told) when he has his chemo - which is now 3x a week since his cancer has come back.  He may get two small loaves. :-)

It's a short week and I hope that you get the things completed you want to.  My list just keeps growing! Enjoy your day - this year has gone by so fast - we need to enjoy each moment.

Blessings!

Just about wore myself out!

 After I left this room yesterday I fixed breakfast for hubby and I.  Then I decided that I needed to get started on some things... and then got word that my SIL was coming over with the trailer to get the big desk I was wanting to get taken away.  It took me a little while to box up all the 'stuff' that was on that desk - things I haven't used in 3-4 years, and yet, didn't take the time to dispose of, but threw into boxes and set out in the garage.  Why is it we hang on to pens, pencils, and more pens and pencils - than we will ever use in our lifetime?  Yep - stored in one of the three small boxes I used to remove things from all the drawers of this desk.  Got rid of that chair as well.  SIL and his brother brought in my new buffet and the SIL will come over soon to put it together for me.  Then I can put my 'new' china in it and whatever else I can 'hide away'.  Sorry - I do love my dishes!

I got a big pot of chili made before I worked on the desk, and getting it emptied.  After cleaning the desk out I started on my baking and got a batch of cranberry pumpkin nut bread made and in the oven.  Needing to use up more of the pumpkin, I made pumpkin raisin cookies, and iced them. Not bad.    After all those were baked, I decided I was too tired to do any more baking (although I did find a couple more recipes to create) and went over to visit Ms. Vicki.  I haven't been over to visit for about 4 weeks.  I always put it off until the weekend and then my weekends get full.  Still need to visit Ms. Diane and if it doesn't downpour today, I may head up to visit for a short while.  

Today is Sunday and we will be getting ready for church soon.  Looking forward to hearing Pastor John speak.  Not sure what I will do this afternoon; hubby will be watching football, more than likely - or NCIS as it is on ION on Sundays.  I've got to get more baking done - December will be here quickly and I have lots to bake and make to prepare for the gifts I give away.  I guess I seem to mention that a lot don't I? It's heavy on my mind.  It is a lot of work, whether they think it is not much of anything.  I love to bake and make and give away, but it does take time and it does take effort.  

Didn't get any more Christmas decorations up yesterday as I had (hoped) planned.  Didn't get any gifts wrapped either.  I'm sitting here looking at yet a full bed. - and Tuesday Amazon will deliver a lot of more gifts.  I was writing things down as I wrapped them, but I think I'm doing it the wrong way - I need to write them down as I order them!  Some gifts may be put back for another time, just saying!  I said I was cutting back this year, but then someone will mention they 'need' or 'want' something and I want to get it for them and the next thing I know, I have way too many gifts for that person, and nothing for others. 

BTW - got a Christmas gift list from hubby the other day - had I mentioned this before?  He wants visa cards so that he can go to Men's Warehouse to buy pants - he likes that they measure his body to make the pants fit (he has one leg a little shorter than the other, so we have discovered).  He also goes to IHOP once a week so that gift card would work as well.  Hankerchiefs, ankle crew socks - they ae also on his list.  He can always use sweatshirts.  Hope that helps.

Here is a question for you.  What causes ridges on fingernails?  Some of my fingernails are smooth, and others have ridges.  Things that make one go 'why?'

Psalm 100:4-5 (NKJV):  Enter into His gates with thanksgiving, and into His courts with praise. Be thankful to Him, and bless His name.  For the Lord is good; His mercy is everlasting, and His truth endures to all generations.

The Word you heard as a child, as a youth, is still true today.  You can pick up your Bible and read the same words that you read back then, for our God never changes.  He is the same yesterday, today, and forever.  The Lord is good, always, and His mercy is everlasting.  O praise His Holy name, for He is so merciful and good to us.

As we are now entering the week of thanksgiving, why not pause and think of some of the things that you are thankful for?  I hope I remember this each day for the rest of the week - but you know how my mind goes....  sigh.... I'm praying for a sound mind that remembers things.   So what am I thankful for today....  that's a tough one, for I have many things that I am thankful for.  So for one....

More than anything else, I am thankful that we serve a God who loves us so much that He gave His one and only Son to die for us.  And you can take out the word 'us' and replace that with 'me'.  Yes, He gave His Son for you as well.  God loves you that much.  And Jesus loves you that much that He willingly went to the cross to die, to be buried, to be raised again on the third day, and resurrected back to the Father.  Why?  To prepare a place for us.  Do I really believe that?  Yes I do.

There are some things that you just know it is true.  I have never doubted God, even in my worst moments.  I have always believed I am loved, even when I don't feel I am.  I always believe that He wants only the best for me, and those I love, even though I see things that don't seem to go the right way.   I believe that God still answers the prayers I have prayed for years - because I see results all the time.  I believe that loves me just as I am, and always has His arms open for me.

And He has His arms open for you as well.  What are you thankful for today?  If I don't forget, I'll go back over this tomorrow, but you know my mind.  I guess if I remember, I should be thankful, right? Don't laugh!  The memory seems to only want to remember things it wants to remember and it isn't always what I ask it to remember.  

And this is why I make lists.  But even with grocery lists... sigh.... I can take it to the grocery with me, and forget to pull it out to look at.  Oh woe is me! LOL  Please tell me you have done the same!  I have a long grocery list at the moment - and I'm debating on letting Frys do the shopping for me, and I just pick up later today - or do I physically go to the store, and shop.  I will have to think on that one.

And with that - I need to jump in the shower and get ready for church.  If you choose not to attend church in person today, I hope that you will watch online or take some time to be quiet before God and just listen for HIs voice.  Read your Bible, and spend some time just talking with Him. Pray the scriptures back to Him.  Psalms is a good place to start.  David wrote many, many songs of praise and worship.  Repeating those back to God can do a lot for our inner spirt.... the holy spirt living in us. Praise Him, for He is good.

Blessings!

Well, what do I know?

 I mentioned first off yesterday that when I looked inside my mouth I saw some white, and I saw that it was 'split open'.  I had a follow-up appointment yesterday morning and when he looked at it?  "It's healing great!"  Wait! What?  But But But!!!  Then he explained - it is in the far back where the jaw goes up.  If he had closed it entirely, as it healed, it would have pulled the jaw inward.  Because of the way it was stitched, it heals from the bottom up.  The white stuff?  He overpacks the bone so that as it closes, none of the bone pack that comes out leaves it indented, enough will stay as it is healed.  His explanation restored my faith in him, BUT... by this time I am drained from the constant discomfort and somewhat embarrassed I had pitched a fit about it being split open.   He will see me in two weeks to check on it again. He said I'm doing fine and it is healing well.   I did the moist heat on it as I was told to do (he says it is to bring the blood flow back into that area.  NO, I had not been doing it before.  Guess I need to.  (I think this comes under I didn't want to mess with it).  After work we went to Streets of New York for their New York combo medium pizza - and once back home, I took half of a pain pill so that I wouldn't be noticing the discomfort all evening.  Well, I slept well last night - and after I got up, I have slept well in here.  Sigh. I didn't mean to fall back to sleep in here, but have, two or three times, sleeping for nearly two hours!  I told you I have been drained from the constant pain.  It's now 8:30AM and I'm hubby is wondering when I'm coming out to fix breakfast.

I managed to get our tree up in the exercise room yesterday.  I am hoping to get the other two trees for the inside up today.  Our new buffet arrived yesterday, but too heavy for me to carry by myself. Left on porch.  Need to clean off the old desk in the exercise room so that it can be taken away.  I don't use it; it's been a catch all for my yarn. So yes, I need to find a place to put all that I have stuck in it.  If I had the room, I'd keep it - but there is no room in this house for anything. And you think I'm difficult to let go of things?  Hubby is much, much worse! Especially if it is HIS or in HIS ROOM.  Maybe, if nothing is going on, SIL can come get the desk to put out on the street for bulk pick up or drop off somewhere - and put together the buffet for me.  I'm hoping I ordered the right size... if I ordered too long, will have to rearrange furniture which will totally discombogalte (sound it out) hubby.  Anyway, when I finish here I will go out and fix breakfast and make hubby full and happy.  He tells me numerous times how much he loves it when I fix breakfast on Saturday mornings.  After he eats a muffin and some cinnamon cookies.  

So on my agenda today is breakfast, then working on the trees in the house, and maybe doing up a grocery order for pick up.  I don't mind going to the grocery store, but when I do, I buy way too much.  So I order online and although I usually spend over $100, I buy less and yes, I usually forget something.  So I've been trying to write down things as I think of them.  I noticed hubby emptied two cereal boxes the other day and left the boxes on the kitchen table (before I put in the recycle.). I'm sure that was for me to know we need to get more cereal.  I also want to start my baking.  I'll put in the freezer for it won't be in there long.  December is almost here and I have so many bags of goodies to put together and take for gifts.  So much to get done!  But I love giving and even though it takes effort from me, time and money, I enjoy giving away things I enjoy making.

Our neighbors on the catty corner sold their house and the new people have been moving in all week.  They have been moving in cars and a pick up truck.  Couple is 55 and 51, from what I was told.   Maybe this afternoon, once I get some baking done, I will head over and introduce myself and give them a loaf of bread.  And I also need to give them the house key that I have for that house.  Yeah, previous owners gave it to me when they moved in... before the 'falling out with the HOA'.  After that we weren't allowed to speak.  I don't like the HOA either. Oh- and our co-duplex couple?  The grass seed they planted in the front yard is coming up nicely.  But, no, we are not allowed to do anything to our front yard.  Ours is mainly dirt. 

I Chronicles 16:34 (NKJV):  O give thanks to the Lord for He is good!  For His mercy endures forever.

And that's Our God!  He is always so good to us - even when we screw up and He has to help us clean it up.  He is always so full of mercy and grace for us.  I love that He is always with us, always around us, always in us, that we can call out to Him at any time and He will bring peace to our souls, bring us joy in the hard times, and provide for our needs.  Of course the majority of our problems are our own fault! But He gets us through them, although we may not see it at the moment.

The best part?  He loves us in spite of our failures and faults.  He offers us His grace and mercy - forever - because of who He is.  He is Lord of all.  God of our creation.  Author of our lives.  He knows where we will screw up before we even think about it.  I wish He would knock sense into me when I start to think about some things!  It is tiresome to always be in trouble, right?

Well, I need to get off here and head to the kitchen to fix breakfast.  It's nearly 9AM and you know hubby is hungry.  And I'm getting there. A protein shake would be good for me, but hubby likes food.  Sausage and eggs and toast sounds like a good meal.  Then on to figuring out what I'm going to do first!  I think I'll get started on my baking, then start bringing in the Christmas boxes from the garage. It won't take long to decorate the house; I don't have much other than the trees.  Outside the house will wait until the day after Thanksgiving. Not that I do much there either. Need to get some Little Debbie goodies to put in a bowl for our delivery people.  Need to make my sign up for them as well. I enjoy doing that so much.

Ok - I do need to get off here!  Hope that you have an amazing day and that you love on someone today. Let them know that you appreciate them.  Tell them you love them.  Hug your kids. (and the grands!) Be present today. Listen when they talk to you. Make eye contact. Be patience. God isn't finished with them either.

Blessings!

I finally took a look last night....

 and I think I am right.  The oral surgery I had a week ago - where the molar was removed?  Well, I THINK it split open last week when I bit down and had that 'implosion' in my mouth.  I think that was the start of it - but when I mentioned it to the woman who called from the office, she said that it was possibly a nerve that moved or something like that, since I didn't think it bled any. Hey, I was half asleep, I wasn't going to get up and check!  Anyway - I got the flashlight out last night and finally took a looksee.  Yep, there is a split right down the middle of the gumline, and either there is jawbone showing or I have gotten food caught in that area, but it's white, so I'm thinking more of bone, plus I have gotten a few 'chips' of bone out of my mouth a few times this week.  

When I got the reminder call yesterday, I casually mentioned that I think the gumline has split, this woman said she would make a note of it so that the Dr. would definitely look closer (as if there was anything else he is to see).  The pain was uncomfortable last night so took half a pain pill when we got home from dinner with friends.  Trying to eat on the right side is a pain, for you know food is sliding over on that other side as well!  We went to Chili's and all I got was soup and salad.  I wanted chicken fajitas!

My head seems a bit more clear today.  Could it be that I had the opportunity (instead of learning new programs for work) to wrap a few of the gifts in here and tore down the boxes that were all over the place?  I still have gifts on the bed, I still have boxes here on the floor, but the majority of the gifts are wrapped and I've had to take them out of the room.

By the way.... I still need to know WHEN my children will be coming over to celebrate Christmas together.  My oldest son said that the Saturday after Christmas was looking good to him and he was waiting for confirmation from his children.  Maybe they can work it out on Thanksgiving.  My daughter says Christmas Eve for her - but she does have to confirm with her daughter and family.  Granted it is in the future, but I need to plan ahead.  I only get Christmas day off this year so may need to take a day or two off work if a evening is chosen.  Which means I need to confirm Christmas Eve with the daughter so that I can get the day off.  Yep, got to work Christmas Eve, until I take it as a vacation day.  Haven't heard any possibilities from the youngest son but should soon, I imagine.  I have dates when the daughter is going to NM to have Christmas there, and I have dates on when the youngest is heading north for Christmas with his son so need to have our gifts ready for that.  Haven't even started on those gifts. Yipes! I need to finish wrapping so I do know what I have. I expect a big delivery from Amazon on Tuesday and that will take care of a lot of people.  Amazon has been my main shopping store this year.  I don't have the time nor energy to get into the stores.  I may go online with Kohls or Walmart at some point.

Hubby has his bible study this morning, and I have my oral surgeon appointment.  I should be back home around 8AM - unless the surgeon wants to sew this back together. I honestly don't know what he will do - but I'm hoping it will be today so it will get on the road to healing correctly.  He may say there is nothing he can do - I just don't know.  Lord knows this issue hasn't stopped a lot of my eating!  I can still eat on the right side.  Just not as well.

Nothing is on the calendar for tomorrow so am hoping to get our trees put up, the rest of the gifts wrapped, and any other decorations up.  I do plan to make a pot of chili tomorrow.... (bribe), so if 'anyone' would like to come help decorate the trees, you can get a bowl of chili.  Just saying. :-)  I think I'm going to make the chili this afternoon so that by tomorrow it will be soooo good.  It would take care of dinner anyway!

Psalm 146:1-2 (NKJV):  Praise the Lord!  Praise the Lord, O my soul! While I live I will praise the Lord; I will sing praises to the Lord while I have my being.

Have you ever noticed how much better you feel when you start praising God versus ignoring Him?  Yes, even in my darkest times (like those I have mentioned lately), God can break through and bring His light.  I probably share way more than I should in here, but knowing some of my children read this, I feel it helps keep them informed on what's going on in my life. But then, that is a downfall as well.  If they know what is going on with me, they don't need to check in on me, right?  I get it. And that's ok. I can't tell them anything 'new' as they already know it!  LOL  And that's ok.  Life happens, right?  I read my son's blogs for the very same reason.  Although he doesn't always share things, he says enough, especially now that there are medical issues going on, that I can stay informed without calling him and bugging him to talk about it when he doesn't feel like it.

Praising God is the best thing you can do when you are lonely, feeling depressed, frustrated, angry, or any other emotion.  Even when you are felling good!  Praising God will bring such a piece to your soul if you will submit to it.  Medicine doesn't do it. Life doesn't do it. Sometimes even grandchildren can't bring you out of a slump.  But praising God can.   Jesus is the Way, the Truth, and the Light.  In Him we have all things, as all things are under Him.  There is so much that we can praise Him for.  Life, for one. Our children, grandchildren, our great-grandchildren for another!  What about a job? Or even being able to pay your bills?  God is faithful always and we should be more than willing to give Him praise and thanks for providing all that He does for us.  He is our Jehovah Jireh - The Lord our Provider.  Hallelujah!  Praise Him always!

And with that, I need to get off here and get my head wrapped around the day.  I have a little time left to read some, so think I may do that as well.  It's helping get my head on straight for today.  Oh yeah, I also need to get dressed soon to head to an early morning appointment at the oral surgeon. I hope he can 'fix' this issue.  If not, then God will take care of me.

I have this coffee that says it is helpful for focus and clarity.  It did help me yesterday, so I've gotten another cup this morning.  Let's see if it will keep me focused and bring clarity to my thoughts.  Lord knows I need it! 

Blessings!

What is wrong with me?

I say it is 'just life', but more and more often I am wanting to get away by myself and just breathe. Does that make sense? A lot of it may be the clutter in here, which I haven't been able to alleviate, and keep adding to it as packages arrive.  Positive note on that; I am DONE with a few people purchases. Am I just feeling overwhelmed for some reason this year?  This year is no different than any other year.  I buy all the gifts. I wrap all the gifts. I put out all the Christmas decorations. I work throughout this entire time. I live life as the days go by. Why is it I am feeling so overwhelmed this year?  I feel as though my life is being sucked out of me and I can no longer breathe. Does this make sense?  Nothing has changed from previous years.  Is it because I am older?  Is it because hubby is seemingly driving me more crazy than usual? Is it that I feel so helpless to do anything? What is going on within my head that it just wants to withdraw and be alone?  I long for the days of the hermitage.

But being alone revives me.  Being alone allows me to let go of all the issues going on in my heart and mind. Being alone allows me to truly rest.  Being alone allows me to breathe and not feel imprisoned and smothered. Being alone brings me back to life.

I sat in the bible study last night - we are studying Revelation - and I drew a total blank at the questions asked.  I have read Revelation numerous times. I have studied it. I have read other books on it and dived into learning and trying to understand what it says.  And yet, with the questions, it was as though I had never read it.  What is blocking my brain?

The book of Revelation, the last book of the Bible for those of you who don't know where it is, is truly a revealing book of the last days.  Do I believe we are in the 'end times'?  Yes. My own opinion.  Are we in the Tribulation period?  I want to say 'No'.  Why? Because the Rapture hasn't happened yet.  I believe the Rapture will happen first, then the 7 years of Tribulation will happen.  That 7 years will be pure hell for those who turn to Christ after the Rapture.  Many will be killed for being a Christian (think of Nigeria now - I think someone said 7K Christians have been killed there).  

My stand is that no matter WHEN the Rapture happens, I want to be ready to rise with Christ in the Rapture. I don't want to be left behind.  I refuse the mark of the beast, if I am still here when it happens. No one knows when the Rapture will occur.  It can happen in my lifetime; it can happen in your grandchild's lifetime.  But the question remains, will I (you) be ready to be Raptured up with Jesus, or will we have to go through the tribulation and all that it entails?

The question was raised last night for us to research this week.  Question: If someone, during the tribulation, receives the mark of the beast so that they can buy food, etc., what if they come to Christ during that time and ask forgiveness for taking the mark of the beast - can they be forgiven?

Our God is a God of Grace. And actually, the Tribulation period is also a 'Grace period' in that - before the mark of the beast - you have an opportunity to turn back to Jesus and follow Him.  We've seen it in videos many times - a church services where BAM! many people disappear and many people do not (including the pastor in some videos!) and those that are left are falling on their knees, crying out for forgiveness.  Will I, will you, be one of the ones left? Or will we be one of the ones taken in the Rapture?  But after the Rapture, God gives us the opportunity to repent and become His, but - in my opinion, without researching, although God is full of grace for us, I feel that once we take on the mark of the beast, we have done the ultimate sin and cannot change it back.  Any thoughts on this? Am I the only one who believes you take the mark, you have totally turned against God?  True, you may starve to death, you will be beaten, persecuted, and killed.  But what is this body?  As Paul says, it is better to be WITH Christ in death, than to live in these earthly bodies.  'They' can only kill the body, they cannot kill the Spirit living within you.

So yes, this is on my mind this morning, but even more so, what is troubling me, I could not think of answers when the questions were asked.  Even hubby was giving responses. I felt like I couldn't remember.  Maybe it is all the junk food I've been eating. Maybe I need to give up processed foods. I hear that the junk they put in the processed foods to keep them in a longer shelf life is actually poisoning us.  What do you think about that?  Maybe I need to go back to more healthy eating.  Lord knows I have enough cook books that I can make a lot of things from 'scratch' and not depend on processed foods, right?  At least cut some of them out. 

I don't know what is going on with my head.  I just want to withdraw and be alone.  I want to hibernate and sleep as long as I want to.  These cooler mornings are making it much more difficult to get up at my usual time.  I wake up, but then go 'naw, go back to sleep'.  

Maybe my entire 'issue' is that hubby is home nearly 24x7 and I am feeling monitored and in a prison of sorts. I am tied to my work desk during the day.  I have a room full of gifts and boxes that I must sort through and clear out. I have work things that I need to learn and use to keep up with everyone else. I don't even know where these new gadgets are in the computer, let alone how to use them!  I don't want to learn!  I'm old enough I shouldn't have to learn!!   My Outlook at work keeps wanting to kick to the 'new Outlook' and I keep saying "NO" and kick it back to the classic Outlook.  I'm comfortable with it. I know what it will do. Leave me alone.  But, alas, I am going to have to kick to the new Outlook at some point, but I have resisted thus far.  Lord help.  I have to learn this stuff.  But I just don't want to.

Am I going crazy? Am I overwhelmed? No, I don't feel I'm depressed, for there are things that bring me joy (like seeing my children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren).  I still enjoy baking.  Is it just that I feel I don't have a life to call 'my own'?  Lord, please help me find me in this mess.

Wow - I've done an entire blog on whatever is going through my mind this morning.  Heavy stuff, isn't it!  Am I going crazy?  Don't ask my kids, they may agree with you!  I think I just need a few days where I have no contact with anyone but God.  Even last night, I had the longing of just wanting to sit and just be alone with Him.  Funny - in my mind last night - I saw myself sitting in my exercise room, blinds open, sitting on a couch, facing the windows, and just 'being' with God.  Does that make sense?  I don't even have a couch in that room!  I have no privacy in that room!  To get privacy it is either in here or in the bathroom.  But it is the longing of my heart, and I think God knows that.

God knows me better than I know myself and I entrust myself to Him for whatever He has for me. I just wish that I would learn the lessons I need to learn faster.  I submit to His authority for whatever is ahead.  I take one day at a time; why?  Because God's got this.

Yes, God's got this!  He's got each of our days in the palm of His hand.  He knows our choices before we make them. Before we even think them!  He will walk with us, if we ask Him to.  Our only hope is Jesus.  We can only get to our Father through Jesus.  When we go to Jesus first, and seek Him, He will be our Advocate to our Heavenly Father on our behalf.  

And I think I have started rambling. Again. So will hush and shut up. I just need to get my energy level up and my mind sharp again. I need to regain the confidence in myself that I once had. It's like a door slammed shut on all the books I have read, all the studying I have done all the years.  Yet, if a topic comes up, I can usually respond... maybe I'm just really tired right now. Perhaps.

Psalm 139: 23-24 (NKJV):  Search me, O God, and know my heart.  Try me, and know my anxieties; and see if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

When was the last time you prayed that scripture?  Why not pause and join me in doing it now?

Blessings!

This is gonna be short...

 I have a 7AM training appointment with Morgan this morning so since it's 5:45AM right now, I have to be quick as I still need to get dressed and presentable to the 'public'.  Then again, who cares what I look like at 7AM, right?  Well, maybe at 7AM they would, for it is practically 'day', right?  I need to at least change from my jammies to workout clothes.  Hoping the upcoming storm we have been predicted holds off until after my training.

I've decided to 'up' my training to 3 x a week - not sure when we will be starting that - rather than just 2 x a week.  I do enjoy my workouts, albeit painful at times, but it gives me time to focus on ME, and the only one telling me what to do is Morgan.  About December 3 she will be putting a 'hold' on our training fees as she is just about ready to 'pop'!  Baby is due the end of December, so she is nearly there. I still think she will go about mid-December from the way she looks; definitely all baby.  Darn trainers anyway; they are always so thin and fit.  A pregnancy just pops out the belly and builds up the boobs.  They still look great after delivery.  Me, I had enough fat on me to skip meals for a month before I could get back to 'small'.  LOL I believe in the 'you are eating for two' when I was pregnant.  And yes, I did, thank you very much.

Was so glad to get a phone call from my oldest yesterday after his paracentesis.  I was wrong about the timing, and he corrected me.  His voice sounded so much better!  For lack of a better word to use, his voice sounded 'free, relieved, well' - if you can combine all three of those - you can even add joyful. Of course by the time of the call he was thinking of getting something to eat after days of barely able to eat at all if any.  Glad he is keeping his PCP updated and she is in agreement (as much as possible, anyway) with the way things are going.  I'm still praying for miracles. I will not give up.

Tonight is our church Bible study group. Yes, we have finally gotten involved with one.  If you recall, last week we bailed because of my tooth extraction. Just didn't want to go.  It will be on Wednesdays now, as far as I know, and tonight we are meeting at our leader's home.  They don't want to do it every week though so I have offered that we can occasionally have a meet at our home.  Except, they have added 3 more people we haven't met yet, and that is good, but hubby and I don't know them and I've gotten (I admit), to where I tend to withdraw some around people I don't know.  I need to get to know them first. I'm sure they will be wonderful people and we will become fast friends.

Speaking of 'friends'.  A moving truck was catty-corner from us all day yesterday with a loading up of furnishings from the house on the corner. I knew it was under contract, but wasn't aware it was sold. Well, I got a call last night - a whispered call from the wife - and she said that they were moving out that night; and heading to California where they will now be living. The house will be signed today and the new owners will be moving in.  I had high hopes when this couple moved in that we could be friends.  But then he had a falling out with the HOA, of which at that time hubby was president, so he refused to have anything to do with anyone, including letting his wife and I be friends.  She still snuck and called me occasionally, but told me that she would always have to delete any conversation, or phone call, in case her hubby looked at her phone.  He has some severe mental issues and anger issues from a severe head injury while in the Navy.  She is trying to 'hang in there' but it is getting more and more difficult.  Anyway, I don't know if I will ever see her again, but she hopes that we can keep in touch. I had hopes of having a good friend, but it has been a silent one.  Our neighbors next door on our left, I had hopes we would be good friends as well, but she is the vicious one and they hate the HOA even though hubby isn't involved anymore, he was when they wanted to extend their patio onto community yard - and the management company told them no.  They also planted grass seed in the front - and it is coming up just fine - although they have gotten numerous letters we have been told about planting it. They aren't supposed to. Well, guess what; they did and grass is growing and looks nice.  They plan to putt their duplex up for sale after the first of the year.  And, of course, Ms. Diane's house will be up on the market within a month, I'm sure.  This rain hasn't helped the boxes the children left out after the yard sale - lots of things will be trashed now. I still have Ms. Vicky on the right side of us, she won't move, but my schedule is busy and I haven't been over for about a month now - I've got to figure something out and get over there.

And with that - I need to stop and get off here and get dressed; got to leave in 20 minutes.  I'm sure you just couldn't wait to hear about my life.  Sigh.  I wish I had a life at times.

Anyway - maybe tomorrow I can get back in sync with good writing; ugh, just remembered I also have a board meeting today.  Hope it goes well.  Last time I pulled up the wrong slides.  I've got to get the right ones today!!

Have a good day!

Blessings!

Loved the snuggles

 Our newest great-granddaughter loves to snuggle!  I did get my work completed yesterday, but I will admit also that most of the day I was snuggling.  She didn't want to be put down.  I guess it is still the 'newborn' stage and wanting to be held close to a body.  She did take about a 3 hour nap in the morning and laid in the wagon, but for the rest of the day, most of it, anyway, I got to hold her.  She also proved she is her grandfather's granddaughter - lol - I swear she emptied out her entire bowels AFTER I undid the diaper, causing it to roll OFF the diaper, onto to the blanket and also onto the quilt, and onto the wagon.  I mean it was everywhere - and it stunk!  Didn't remember such a smell coming from such a little one!  LOL  I mentioned it to my pregnant trainer last night and she said that when she breast-fed her firstborn that there was no odor, but when she switched to formula - it was horrible.  Yep. We have a little one who gets both, apparently. But all is good. I cleaned her up, washed off her blanket, changed her clothes - and a short time later took off and took her to her mother.  It was a good day.  I do hope I can be close to this one; it's so hard to be close to the great-grands when grandparents are always there.  This one, well, grandma lives in another city so I just have to 'deal' with papaw and he doesn't mind at all.  Of course getting the granddaughter to answer texts is an entirely different issue.  They don't hesitate to answer friends' texts - but grandma's?  Naw - let's not even bother to read it. 

I am so lucky. Why?  My dental insurance covers a very good oral surgeon.  I was so well taken care of. Before the surgery I was prescribed one xanax to take an hour before surgery to make sure I wasn't anxious. I also received 21 amoxicillin to take afterwards (3xdayx7days) to prevent infection, about 10 oxycodone to offset any pain, and a bottle of a liquid to rinse that area with to keep bacteria out of it.  When I arrived in the room, there was an anesthesiologist who introduced himself (he also did my other removals) and told me what he was going to do. There were two other nurses in the room.  And my surgeon.  The office called me yesterday to see how I was doing.  I shared about the 'tooth fart' and she explained it was more than likely a muscle by the tooth that had been swollen and when I clenched my teeth, it moved it.  I don't buy that, and will ask the surgeon when I see him at my Friday appointment.  But I still feel well taken care of.

My daughter, on the other hand. My oral surgeon did not take her insurance so she was given another oral surgeon who did take it. She opted for the nitrous gas because it was cheaper than the anesthesiologist. And that's ok. (just not for me, if possible)  I don't know exactly what happened in that office yesterday when she went in to get her tooth pulled.... but she said it took less than ten minutes.  She was numbed, they put the gas on her, I'm not sure what the needle prick - she said, but I don't remember - but it was in the hand and they hit a nerve and she screamed.  But what gets me - she was told afterwards to sit in the lobby until she felt well enough to leave. Take a tylenol if she felt pain.  That's it.  No antibiotics, no rinse, no pain pills - nothing.  I checked with her last night and the numbness was starting to wear off.  I am dumbfounded her care - or lack thereof - was so bad.  I will tell our dentist to never send anyone there again - I'm sorry - but that is not acceptable!  She had the same tooth pulled I did, I think.  No, it isn't because I'm older.  Maybe I am being pampered.  But having a tooth pulled still hurts!  Many of you know that, whether you still try to play tough or not. I don't need to play tough.  It hurts!

Today for work I need to finish up the board slide deck and get it sent out.  I need to take the time and do some serious PowerPoint how to watching and also learn more about this ChatCpt or whatever it is. I really do need to learn all that stuff, but my 'I don't want to' kicks in and I don't.  I wish I knew someone who could just sit down with me and I can tell them what I need to know - and they can walk me through the steps  - and then I'd be done.  Right?  I don't need to know all the 'secrets' of doing this or that; I just want to know enough to do my job with excellence.  I have a book.  I just don't use it. So much I do need to learn - but when some of this stuff came out, I was hoping to retire.  Now I know that I can't for a long time, unless someone wins the lottery and loves me a whole bunch to support me, so I will continue working and I need to continue learning. PowerPoint, ChatCPT, Teams, InNote, OneDrive - I have avoided learning any of that stuff except what I had to know.  Now I have to dig deeper and just do it.  I need to quit being lazy.  But I like being lazy!

I'm hoping to have a little bit of 'down time' this afternoon so that I can work on getting some gifts wrapped. Yes, my trees are still in the garage so not up yet, but I need to clear off this bed and get this room straightened up.  UGH, my eyes are doing the weird stuff this morning.  So I may as well quit typing for it's going to block some of the words.   

I hear thunder so I guess a storm is coming in. Grateful God heard our prayers for the rain to come early in the morning Sunday and hold off for the birthday party.  Thank You, Jesus!  He controls it all. :-) Grateful for such a loving and patient Heavenly Father and Son!

Praying for my son today as he goes in for yet another paracentesis.  I keep praying for a miraculous 'thing' - that a specialist would walk by and glance at his chart and say "You need to be seen now" and will make arrangements to get him into his office - or someone call the specialist he has an appointment with December 8th and tell them to move his appointment up to NOW.  This waiting has to be frustrating for him, for it certainly is to me!  I keep praying - but I also know that God has a plan in all this; He is God and I am not.  Nothing happens that He isn't already aware of that will happen.  Lord, we don't need more patience; but perhaps we need to learn to rest in Your promises that You will never leave us nor forsake us.  That all things are in Your hands, and in Your time.  Abba, we trust You.  Please take care of my boy.

And I need to get off here - the rain is coming down in torrents and I need to get the work computer turned on and get dressed.  My son should already be at the hospital for his treatment so doesn't have to walk in this rain (provided it is in his area of town also).  Lord, hold off the rain for him, please.  He just can't walk that fast to dodge the drops.

May the Lord bless you with all Blessings....

Blessings!

Nothing new to report

 I saw two of my children yesterday and some of their families.  I was mentally trying to count how many grandchildren I also saw yesterday, but the mind isn't functioning.  It was good.  I got to spend time with my oldest son, and much of the time neither of us spoke.  I just wanted to be with him.  I hope he didn't mind my hanging out with him.  The birthday party for the great-granddaughter went well, I think.  Lots of food, lots of people.  The rain held off (thank You, Lord!) so many were able to sit outside.  Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse showed up and it was so cute.  It was a good day, but after a few hours, I was ready to go home.  Hubby didn't even have to ask me if I was ready to go home.  I just knew my body was ready to get away and be quiet and relax.  And that is what it did.  Didn't cook dinner; don't even know if hubby ate anything.  I sat and finished up a crochet project and then after watching several NCIS movies, I headed to bed, leaving hubby up to finish watching.  

This morning we were up early as usual, but with a different twist.  I am babysitting a great-granddaughter today while the granddaughter works.  The youngest son has to help his wife with her son's car issues today in a nearby city.  The granddaughter has to work in order to pay her rent - so here I am.  I'm loving this, you know I am!  I have the wagon all fixed up with blankets and will be keeping her in the wagon most of the day.  For now, she is here laying on my chest, sound asleep.  I love to cuddle the little ones and it makes me sad I don't get to see the others that often.  I do have to work today as well so will be putting her in the wagon soon so that I can do that.  Since she is only 3 or so weeks old she is still sleeping most of the time.  I tell you what - she sure can let out some gross farts! I thought for sure she had filled her diaper this morning, but nope, it was just air.  Surprised me!

I did not get gifts wrapped this weekend and the bed is still full of 'stuff'.  And boxes.  Lots of boxes.  Oh woe is me!  LOL Yeah, I have to do it all.  I still don't have the trees - or any of the trees - up yet.  Probably won't happen today either. But I need to make some decisions on the gifts and get them wrapped for those they are for. I can just stack up and separate when the trees are up, right?  But I also have to work today so will see what today brings.  Mainly need to work on the board stuff - we have a board meeting on Wednesday.  Then I'm good until December 4th when we have another one. Then done for this year. 

I expect a call from the oral surgeon today. They usually call on the day after, but did not this time, which surprised me.  I was ok the day after, it was the night the I had the 'implosion' during the night. Is that the right word?  I also have called it a 'tooth fart'.  You know, when pressure builds up and you touch it and it explodes?  Much like bubblewrap when you squeeze one the bubbles.  POP!  I am thinking I had an air bubble and when I popped it (unintentionally), I popped the stitches off that part of the incision.  That's my guess, for the strings in my mouth seem pretty long.  It isn't 'hurting', but is tender.  "This too shall pass."  Mama always said so.  What is weird, is that I already picked up my amoxicillin at CVS and have been taking it, and yesterday I received a text that I have amoxicillin ready for pick up at CVS.  I may stop by and just see if I do - and go ahead and get it. Doesn't hurt to have amoxicillin on hand; maybe it's a premonition I will need it?  I picked up the order on Wednesday.

A package was delivered sometime during the night - or could have even been yesterday afternoon.  I didn't get notification because I didn't order it.  My son kicked it when we were opening the gate for him this morning; it was on the outside of the gate.  The lazy deliverer could not even bring it into the courtyard or drop over the gate.  Anyone could have taken it.  But they didn't.  I started to open it when I noticed the name - and it wasn't mine.  So I did not open it any further but will take to hubby soon.  Who knows what he has purchased.  It may be a gift for me; so I can't look inside.  

Psalm 119:105 (NKJV):  Your Word is lamp unto my feet and a light to my path.

I can't tell you how many times that knowing God's Word has rescued me from doing something stupid. Yes, I still do stupid things, but that's because I have my own free will.  I sometimes ignore that nudge to 'don't do that' or 'don't say that' cause I have my own free will and I want to do it or say it.  Sigh.  God is so much wiser than I am.  If I would restrain my words and my actions at times, it would be so much better.  Do you ever feel that way - or is it just me?  I need God's Word to remind me who I am and Whose I am sometimes when I am feeling weary of life.  

Ah, this little one is awakening and letting off her smelly farts again.  I had been able to lay her in the wagon for a bit, but now she is wanting cuddled.  Spoiled? Perhaps.  For now, anyway. So I need to get off here and take care of this little one.  It may be time for another feeding, got to grab a bottle!  

Hope you have a good day.  Hug someone today!

Blessings!