Happy birthday to me....

 Thank You, Lord, for letting me live this long.  Thank You for being my God and for blessing me and loving me all these years.  Thank You for protecting me, for guiding me, for being my God.  I love You, Lord.  Even yet today, with all the 'celebrating', You are my God, my King, my Lord.  

I actually 'slept in' until about 5-ish this morning - only because I didn't want to get up. I was awake, just didn't want to get up.  But finally did.  I remembered I had gifts from my big brother that I was waiting to open, so grabbed them on my way to my chair.  He got me my very own Lexus LC500!  Ok - so it's a matchbox car, but he is buying himself a REAL one, and had told me - He PROMISED to get me one.  Daggone, he didn't say real or otherwise so I'm thinking he had this matchbox one planned!  And that's ok. He got me a few other things too and I had fun opening them.

Hubby came in with my coffee, a card, and a gift.  He never knows what to get me so a gift card is usually it. And that's ok too.  I can get what I want, right? :-)  My oldest son stopped by yesterday and gave me a gift that about cracked me up - it's a saying around our family, usually directed at a family with lots of drama - "not my monkey not my circus and I didn't buy tickets" or something like that.  He gave me a t-shirt that says "not my circus, not my monkeys but I do know the clowns".  Hilarious.  My daughter told me earlier in the week that my gift would arrive today.  My little sister is having fits; she mailed her package on the 4th and paid extra to get it here yesterday.  It didn't arrive.  And since we can check 28777 as to where it is - unfortunately, when I check, it is still showing it is in Indianapolis.  I'm going to have her go back and show the receipt and ask them to check - cause they need to refund her money!  It didn't get here and may not until after we leave on vacation Wednesday, unless they 'express' it at no charge! So thus far, I'm having a spoiled day!

We will go to church at noon and then home to change clothes and over to a granddaughter's who has invited us over for lunner (late lunch, early dinner) to celebrate my birthday.  That's very kind of her!  I get to see her AND my great granddaughter... who thrills my heart when she comes running and says "OMA!  I've missed you!!"  Doesn't that just melt your heart?

I did go see Ms. Vicky last night and visited for a little while.  She has already text'd me this morning as well.  Got a text from my daughter, my sister, and both of my brothers.  I'll hear from the others later on today.  It's always nice to be remembered.   Hubby also took me to breakfast yesterday as a 'pre-birthday meal'..... I think he was just wanted to eat out, but hey, I didn't have to cook!  Which I hadn't planned to do anyway (yet, he tried to tell me I cook every Saturday - which I haven't in the past 2-4 weeks, I don't think) as we have cereal on hand and that is perfectly fine.  I'm getting lazy in my old age.... sometimes I just don't want to cook.

I did get my spider plant replanted yesterday but I don't think it is going to survive; think it was too far gone before I transplanted it.  Oh well.  Got my plants watered yesterday.  Need to plant my purple plants - they are outgrowing the pot of water.  Need to give some starts away.  They are drought plants so don't need much water - I usually water good about once or twice a week.  In this extremely hot weather, I have to.

Psalm 139:14 (NKJV):  I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are your works, and that my soul knows very well. 

Have you ever paused and thought about how God created you in your mother's womb, He covered you with skin, He brought you forth and breathed life into you.  How marvelous is that?!  How can one not acknowledge there is a God when we are made so perfect in His image?   Think about it, He created ME (you), and He has blessed me so abundantly with children, with a spouse, with numerous friends.... and so much more than I could have ever asked for.  Our God is such a good, good Father!  How could I not praise Him for all He has done for me?

We often make a comment about going from the frying pan into the fire.... but God takes us from the fire, from the frying pan, and holds us gently in His loving, gracious arms and just holds us close. There is no greater love than His.  On this day, this special day, He chose me.  He chose to breathe life into me.  Yes, I will praise Him.

A story about my birth, I don't remember if I have shared it before or not.  But it is the story that was handed down to me over the years.  For one thing, back then they didn't know if you would be male or female cause they didn't do ultrasounds back then (nor when my children were born - once they were born it was "surprise!" you have a son (or daughter))!.   

My great Aunt Gertrude (my mother's mother's sister aka Granny's sister) chose my name for me.  My first name is taken from my mother's middle name.  My middle name is taken from my dad's first name, and the last half of my mother's middle name.  So I always said I was the 'favorite' cause I am named after both parents. :-)  That makes me special, right?

At the time of my birth, mother and dad lived in McMinnville, Tennessee.  I must have been running a little late, for when mother went into labor, they went to the McMinnville Clinic for her to birth me.  I don't recall what time they got there, but after waiting for awhile, the story goes that my dad told my mom that if she didn't have me by noon, he had things to do and was going to leave!  I forget the exact time I was born, but it was just before noon, I think. I'm too lazy to get up and check my birth certificate.   So I was born in the McMinnville Clinic by a Dr. Smoot.  Don't remember how much I weighed either.  It's been awhile since I looked at the birth certificate I guess.    But I guarantee you, I was born!  Mother and Dad moved to Indiana when I was three, after my younger brother was born. 

I don't remember if the three older siblings were born in Indiana or Tennessee.... perhaps I should ask them.  Not that it matters.  Although Mother was born in Tennessee, my dad was actually born in Alabama.  Don't know if I had ever shared that.  Don't know of any relatives in Alabama, so guess my dad's family all moved to Tennessee?  Don't know!  I know I have aunts and uncles and cousins scattered all over!

And there you have it all.  I am celebrating ME all day today.  God has been so good to me.  I have actually prayed I could live to 103 (unless He raptures me first!) so that I can beat Aunt Grace's 102 years of age when she passed.  I think she was the oldest.  But only 103 if I am healthy and able to take care of myself (aunt Grace was still growing a garden and canning at 100!!).  Otherwise, Jesus, take me Home!

I guess I've rambled on enough today.... hope that you have an amazing day!  If you think of me, celebrate LIFE - and enjoy the day.

Blessings!

What is wrong with me?

I say it is 'just life', but more and more often I am wanting to get away by myself and just breathe. Does that make sense? A lot of it may be the clutter in here, which I haven't been able to alleviate, and keep adding to it as packages arrive.  Positive note on that; I am DONE with a few people purchases. Am I just feeling overwhelmed for some reason this year?  This year is no different than any other year.  I buy all the gifts. I wrap all the gifts. I put out all the Christmas decorations. I work throughout this entire time. I live life as the days go by. Why is it I am feeling so overwhelmed this year?  I feel as though my life is being sucked out of me and I can no longer breathe. Does this make sense?  Nothing has changed from previous years.  Is it because I am older?  Is it because hubby is seemingly driving me more crazy than usual? Is it that I feel so helpless to do anything? What is going on within my head that it just wants to withdraw and be alone?  I long for the days of the hermitage.

But being alone revives me.  Being alone allows me to let go of all the issues going on in my heart and mind. Being alone allows me to truly rest.  Being alone allows me to breathe and not feel imprisoned and smothered. Being alone brings me back to life.

I sat in the bible study last night - we are studying Revelation - and I drew a total blank at the questions asked.  I have read Revelation numerous times. I have studied it. I have read other books on it and dived into learning and trying to understand what it says.  And yet, with the questions, it was as though I had never read it.  What is blocking my brain?

The book of Revelation, the last book of the Bible for those of you who don't know where it is, is truly a revealing book of the last days.  Do I believe we are in the 'end times'?  Yes. My own opinion.  Are we in the Tribulation period?  I want to say 'No'.  Why? Because the Rapture hasn't happened yet.  I believe the Rapture will happen first, then the 7 years of Tribulation will happen.  That 7 years will be pure hell for those who turn to Christ after the Rapture.  Many will be killed for being a Christian (think of Nigeria now - I think someone said 7K Christians have been killed there).  

My stand is that no matter WHEN the Rapture happens, I want to be ready to rise with Christ in the Rapture. I don't want to be left behind.  I refuse the mark of the beast, if I am still here when it happens. No one knows when the Rapture will occur.  It can happen in my lifetime; it can happen in your grandchild's lifetime.  But the question remains, will I (you) be ready to be Raptured up with Jesus, or will we have to go through the tribulation and all that it entails?

The question was raised last night for us to research this week.  Question: If someone, during the tribulation, receives the mark of the beast so that they can buy food, etc., what if they come to Christ during that time and ask forgiveness for taking the mark of the beast - can they be forgiven?

Our God is a God of Grace. And actually, the Tribulation period is also a 'Grace period' in that - before the mark of the beast - you have an opportunity to turn back to Jesus and follow Him.  We've seen it in videos many times - a church services where BAM! many people disappear and many people do not (including the pastor in some videos!) and those that are left are falling on their knees, crying out for forgiveness.  Will I, will you, be one of the ones left? Or will we be one of the ones taken in the Rapture?  But after the Rapture, God gives us the opportunity to repent and become His, but - in my opinion, without researching, although God is full of grace for us, I feel that once we take on the mark of the beast, we have done the ultimate sin and cannot change it back.  Any thoughts on this? Am I the only one who believes you take the mark, you have totally turned against God?  True, you may starve to death, you will be beaten, persecuted, and killed.  But what is this body?  As Paul says, it is better to be WITH Christ in death, than to live in these earthly bodies.  'They' can only kill the body, they cannot kill the Spirit living within you.

So yes, this is on my mind this morning, but even more so, what is troubling me, I could not think of answers when the questions were asked.  Even hubby was giving responses. I felt like I couldn't remember.  Maybe it is all the junk food I've been eating. Maybe I need to give up processed foods. I hear that the junk they put in the processed foods to keep them in a longer shelf life is actually poisoning us.  What do you think about that?  Maybe I need to go back to more healthy eating.  Lord knows I have enough cook books that I can make a lot of things from 'scratch' and not depend on processed foods, right?  At least cut some of them out. 

I don't know what is going on with my head.  I just want to withdraw and be alone.  I want to hibernate and sleep as long as I want to.  These cooler mornings are making it much more difficult to get up at my usual time.  I wake up, but then go 'naw, go back to sleep'.  

Maybe my entire 'issue' is that hubby is home nearly 24x7 and I am feeling monitored and in a prison of sorts. I am tied to my work desk during the day.  I have a room full of gifts and boxes that I must sort through and clear out. I have work things that I need to learn and use to keep up with everyone else. I don't even know where these new gadgets are in the computer, let alone how to use them!  I don't want to learn!  I'm old enough I shouldn't have to learn!!   My Outlook at work keeps wanting to kick to the 'new Outlook' and I keep saying "NO" and kick it back to the classic Outlook.  I'm comfortable with it. I know what it will do. Leave me alone.  But, alas, I am going to have to kick to the new Outlook at some point, but I have resisted thus far.  Lord help.  I have to learn this stuff.  But I just don't want to.

Am I going crazy? Am I overwhelmed? No, I don't feel I'm depressed, for there are things that bring me joy (like seeing my children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren).  I still enjoy baking.  Is it just that I feel I don't have a life to call 'my own'?  Lord, please help me find me in this mess.

Wow - I've done an entire blog on whatever is going through my mind this morning.  Heavy stuff, isn't it!  Am I going crazy?  Don't ask my kids, they may agree with you!  I think I just need a few days where I have no contact with anyone but God.  Even last night, I had the longing of just wanting to sit and just be alone with Him.  Funny - in my mind last night - I saw myself sitting in my exercise room, blinds open, sitting on a couch, facing the windows, and just 'being' with God.  Does that make sense?  I don't even have a couch in that room!  I have no privacy in that room!  To get privacy it is either in here or in the bathroom.  But it is the longing of my heart, and I think God knows that.

God knows me better than I know myself and I entrust myself to Him for whatever He has for me. I just wish that I would learn the lessons I need to learn faster.  I submit to His authority for whatever is ahead.  I take one day at a time; why?  Because God's got this.

Yes, God's got this!  He's got each of our days in the palm of His hand.  He knows our choices before we make them. Before we even think them!  He will walk with us, if we ask Him to.  Our only hope is Jesus.  We can only get to our Father through Jesus.  When we go to Jesus first, and seek Him, He will be our Advocate to our Heavenly Father on our behalf.  

And I think I have started rambling. Again. So will hush and shut up. I just need to get my energy level up and my mind sharp again. I need to regain the confidence in myself that I once had. It's like a door slammed shut on all the books I have read, all the studying I have done all the years.  Yet, if a topic comes up, I can usually respond... maybe I'm just really tired right now. Perhaps.

Psalm 139: 23-24 (NKJV):  Search me, O God, and know my heart.  Try me, and know my anxieties; and see if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

When was the last time you prayed that scripture?  Why not pause and join me in doing it now?

Blessings!

Remembering ...

 I wonder how many people are thinking back to 23 years ago today when the twin towers in New York were stuck by planes and fell?  Our country vowed to 'Never Forget' - but have we?  Have we made sure that our children remember what happened on that day?  I believe Chuck Norris called it 'a new generation's attack on Pearl Harbor'.  And you can only understand that comment if you remember the attack on Pearl Harbor and the start of WW2 for the USA.  

On that date, 9-11-2001, many ran to God and sought Him, thinking the world was coming to an end.  And when it didn't, they stopped seeking, and returned to their own ways, their own life.  Never giving 9/11 another thought.  Do you even remember what you were doing that date?

I got to work - I was working at Mercy Care Plan when we were downtown.  I was always there by 6-6:30AM and working.  A couple other people had drifted in.  A TV was on in the conference room so people could watch the early morning news.  I was working and someone came running and said 'come see what's on the TV'!.  Those of us working dropped what we were doing and rushed to the conference room where we were stunned in to silence.  How could someone dare 'touch' the United States of America in a peaceful time?  How dare they?!  And yet, they did.  We watched what was going on; we watched the second plane hit.  Stunned, all we could do was stand there, with tears falling down our faces.  We were unnerved.

Many people called in to say they were staying home, fearful of what might be coming next.  We were offered the opportunity to go home, but I opted to stay, as many of the few that were there did.  There was nothing we could do at home.  I continued to work that day, occasionally going to the TV to see what was happening.  It seemed like an unreal movie that was being played out. The shock was real.  It was eerily quiet, very few people talking in the office.  Stunned. Shocked. Scared.

I read Max Lucado's most recent book the past few days and in it he wrote what he did when this day happened.  He called his wife and they agreed.  They each drove to their children's school - he to the elementary, her to the high school.  He didn't stop at the office for permission, he went to the classroom. The teacher knew why he was there. She let his child go with him. He met his wife back at home and they gathered the children close.  If anything was going to happen, they were going to be together.  They prayed. They loved each other. They were family.

Who would have even thought that something like that could happen in our country, in our lifetime?  But it did. And it could happen again. We were fearful every time a large crowd got together.  We still are. We forgot the tragedy of that day, how it changed the world.  We only remember when that day comes around each year, and today is no different.

I have an admin meeting this morning and the person leading it has 'instructed' all of us to wear red, white and blue in remembrance of those who lost their lives that day.  We have the 9-1-1 Tower Climb in Tucson; not sure when that takes place.  I 'did it' a few years ago - not in Tucson. At that time they let us walk the number of steps to the top of the Twin Towers outside or on a treadmill, in remembrance. We signed up and received the TV, and a lanyard with a photo of a firefighter who lost their life that day. We both still have them. We put on our 9-1-1 t-shirt and wore the lanyard and went to the gym where we walked the number of steps from the ground floor to the top.

I tried to google how many steps that was - but didn't want to spend time on that - there were 110 floors in each building.  Interesting facts. Try googling for information on how many steps.  30,000 cups of coffee were served every day.  17 babies had been born at the twin towers.  3 men had parachuted off the top. 1 man had walked a tightrope between the two buildings. Interesting facts. But all in the past. Never to happen again. Mind-boggling. 

But did we forget what happened that day?  I admit, I don't think of it a lot. I do on occasion when I see the t-shirt still hanging in my closet. I have a few 9-1-1 t-shirts and I usually wear one on this date.  None are red/white/blue - I wonder if I could wear one of those instead?  I may, just because I choose to be different.

If you stop to think about it.... I wonder how many people from Jesus' time, made the comment to 'never forget' what happened the day that Jesus was crucified.  Oh we remember His sacrifice - yes, it was a sacrifice for He willingly went to the cross for you and for me.  But that day, too, changed the world.  We had a Savior, who gave up His life willingly, for you and me.  We remember, when we take communion.  But, what about other days? Do we take pause during the day to remember what Jesus did for us?  Yes, His life was horrendously taken from Him, just like those who were in the Twin Towers that day.  But He was buried after His death - and the best part - He rose again.  Jesus is the reason we know that those who knew Him, those that were in the Twin Towers that day, are with Him and will never die.  I pray that brings comfort to those who follow Jesus and lost their loved one that day.

And that is the hope we have even today.  If you, your spouse, your child - if they were tragically taken today....... would those around them know where they were going, that they would have an eternal life with Jesus.... or be burned in hell for the rest of their lives.  Would those grieving their loss be sorrowful of where you were going after death, or find peace in knowing you knew Jesus as Lord.

Sometimes it takes days like today to sit back and think about our lives.  Are we teaching our children about Jesus and eternal life with Him?  Our grandchildren?  Or do we hand them over to hell because we don't want to be bothered with it; we want our own fun; we want our own way; we want to live our own life.

And there are days that all we can do is pray over them. Pray for their safety. Pray for their lives, that they will accept Jesus as Lord before it is too late.  We may think we 'have time' before we pass away, and some of us may be lucky to be coherent enough to call out to Jesus for forgiveness before we breathe our last. We've all heard it happen.  Death-bed conversions still get you into heaven. But what if your life is tragically taken away from you and there is no time?  

Oh that we all will surrender our lives to Jesus and seek His face, ask His forgiveness, and receive His mercy and His grace, even though we do not deserve it.  Daily we surrender our lives to Him as Savior and as Lord.  Are you ready to take that step? Just ask Him; He is waiting for you with open arms. Teach your children and grandchildren about Jesus and His sacrifice....and never forget what He did for you.

Blessings.

Remembering 21 years ago....

 Has it really been that long that September 11, 2001 was here?  Twenty-one years ago that both towers of the World Trade Center were destroyed by a plane?  The pentagon was attacked by another plane.  And yet another plane crashed into the ground, diverted from it's goal.  What a time that was. The memories of what we watched on TV.  The horror of lives lost.  The effects, even now, of what happened that day.  We shall not forget, O God, how You stood with us that day in spite of the enemy's attack.

I was already at work that morning.  I worked for Mercy Care Plan and usually went in to work at 6AM and was already busy.  Soon a few other employees came in, one went to turn on a TV in the conference room on.  It was all surreal as we got calls about what had happened.  We were told we could go home, that the company would pay us for that day, for they knew they wouldn't get much work out of most; glued to the TV to see what was happening.  I chose to stay and work as I wouldn't be glued to the TV all day at home; I would rather keep busy.  I worked, and occasionally would go into the conference room to watch what was going on.  How can we ever forget?

Father, I pray that You would put a shield of protection over the United States, that You will keep Your hand upon us, that Your children will turn their hearts back to You.  Oh Father, that You would bring revival to this nation, that our hearts will be turned back to You as one.  Bring restoration, Lord, bring revival, bring healing, bring Yourself to our hearts, Lord.

I love watching Jentezen Franklin.  He just told something funny.  I didn't see where the scripture was, he was reading of when Jesus had died and appeared back to His disciples and showed them His hands and feet, and told them, "Give me something to eat".  They gave Him a piece of broiled fish and bread.  That's when Jentezen said that vegetarians would have to sit at another table other than he and Jesus cause Jesus ate meat.  I can't say it right, but it was funny the way Jentezen said it.  I don't eat much meat, but I do eat it.

The influence of Jesus is all over us, do you know that?  Do you see His hand upon your life in all things?  No matter happens to you, His hand is all over you.  

Hubby and I had an 'intense' time yesterday and it was my fault.  But his anger at the incident was unacceptable.  I had accidently left the bottom drawer of the dresser open yesterday when I got dressed to leave.  It wasn't intentional.  I was searching for pants and pulled out a pair I wasn't sure would fit... and just left the drawer open (the pants fit - yay).  After I left, hubby came home and decided to make the bed, and as he started to walk around to my side, he nearly tripped over the drawer.  He caught himself; he did not fall.  But for the remaining three hours that I was gone, instead of thanking God he hadn't fallen, and moving on, he fueled the flames of his anger at me for leaving the drawer open.  By the time I got home, he unleashed his fury for several minutes.  At first I didn't even remember opening the drawer as I am rarely in the dresser at all.  When I did remember, I apologized I had left it open.  That only added fuel that I could have let him get hurt; he could have fallen; he could have hit his head and he could have laid there for three hours until I got back home.  His fury at me was unleased 10-fold.

I wanted to respond in anger at his anger... but God held me back, and kept me silent.  I was shaken at his anger at me, and I came in here and sat for a couple hours while he continued to watch his football game.  He knew I didn't want to be around him.  He left me alone.  He did come in a couple times and commented "so you are going to stay in here now?" sarcastically.  I didn't respond other than I wanted to be alone.  I tried to read.  I ended up flipping through my phone, something I don't like to do.  I didn't want to talk to anyone.  I just wanted to be alone.  God and I had a talk.  I chose to thank Him for not allowing Tom to fall.

Eventually I came out and fixed dinner; we ate, then watched movies the rest of the evening.  When we went to bed, I could not sleep.  Hubby knew he had drawn a line between us with his anger and he chose to get close to me to where I had no room to turn. It was awhile before I could sleep, and then I didn't sleep well.  

But I'm finding I'm not angry with him.  And I believe that is God working in me.  I've sought after God so long and so hard that I believe that He is working in me not to hold on to anger and bitterness.  I've prayed for years to let go of some things, and He has showed me He has answered my prayers.  It's hard to explain.  Sometimes it is good to be angry, and sometimes we build up walls of protection around our hearts, but it isn't good to hang on to anger.  Anger destroys, it doesn't build up.  Anger controls, not enables. Anger brings bitterness and sickness.  I choose to live, I choose to be healthy.  I choose to live without the anger, no matter how justified it is.   I choose to put it all in His hands, and allow God to deal with the issue, deal with the person.  I choose life.

A little boy went into the grocery store and stood looking at a barrel full of candy.  The shop owner knew the boy didn't have any money, so he told the little boy to just reach in and grab a handful of candy, but the little boy just stood there, looking into the barrel.  Once again the shop owner told the little boy to reach in and grab a handful of candy, that he would take care of it.  Still, the little boy just stood there and looked into the barrel.  In exasperation  the shop owner reached in with both his own hands and pulled out a huge amount of candy and told the boy to cup his hands, which he did.  The candy fell into the little boy's hands.  As he turned to leave, the shop owner called out to the little boy and asked him why he didn't reach in and get the candy when he was told to.  The little boy replied, "Because I knew your hands were bigger."

You know what?  God's hands are much bigger than ours and He wants to bless you and bless me with far more than we could ever hope or imagine.  He keeps telling us to do and take from His goodness, but we sometimes think 'we aren't worthy' of anything.  Do you know people like that?  You try to give them something they need, and they try to refuse you, saying 'it's ok, we'll get by'.  Or 'I don't need that'. I don't know about you, but I know people like that.  I could probably say that I used to be like that as well.  Call it pride if you want.  And that could be.  Or it could be we don't feel worthy of someone doing something for us.  But I have learned....

That's God's hands are so much bigger than mine and He uses people to bless me.  He gives me so much that I never could imagine the blessings He gives.  He brings people into our lives that enrich our lives when we let them.  He allows 'bad stuff' to happen, so that we can see more of His goodness.  Stop and look back over your life and see how God and blessed you.  He loves you more than you could ever hope or imagine.  When you feel unloved and unworthy, He is holding you close and gathering you near him, and telling you how much He loves you.  You may think you are far away from Him, but you aren't.  You see, He has your name written on the palm of His hand.  

Anything He has done for others, He can do for you.  Do you believe that?  I challenge you.  You haven't seen God's best yet for you.  Grab hold of God like Jacob and don't let Him loose until He blesses you.  I choose to be dangerous for God.  I believe God can do anything He promises.  I believe my life is in His hands, and when He chooses to take me home, it will be the right time.  When He chooses to take you home, it is always the right time.  Are you ready?  He is a good God; praise Him; love Him; adore Him.

His goodness is running after you.  When your life is laid down and surrendered to Him, His goodness is running after you.  Spiritually, pack your bags, God is going to take you to some spots and places that are miracle places for your destiny.   There is a revival coming to America.  He is ready to pour out His spirit upon you, upon your children, upon your grandchildren, your great-grandchildren.  Tell your family about Jesus.  Make sure they are walking the right road in life.  And make sure you will be with them in heaven when God calls you home.  It only takes a minute.  Choose Jesus, and see His love and goodness for you.  Don't delay; start today.

"Where He leads me I will follow; where He leads me, I will follow.  Where He leads me, I will follow, I'll go with Him, with Him, all the way."

Blessings!

The weekend is here.....

 and I'm so glad to be able to not have to keep an eye on the clock, checking to see if it is time for me to get on the work computer.  Yesterday was a very long day as not much was happening at work.  Several people had taken the day off and other than a couple meetings to schedule, and chatting with my bosses a couple times, they were quiet.  In fact, one shut down at 2PM, and the other was finished with her meetings at 3PM.  We had pretty much cleared her calendar for the day cause she was babysitting a couple grandchildren for the day as well.  The advantage of working from home.  I did get a mandatory training out of the way, but other than that, didn't do much work wise.  Hubby did ask me to go pick up a prescription for him, which I did.  Still puzzled why he asked me to go get it instead of getting it himself.  He had gone to breakfast (for three hours!) with a friend... can't figure out why he asked me to go get it.  Did he want me out of the house for a reason?  I don't know!

I'm having difficulty this morning getting comfortable in my chair... my arthritis in my neck is bothering me too, but I'll get over it.  I need to do my stretching yet this morning and that will help with it.  Just feel antsy this morning for some reason.  Can't sit still and be comfortable.  Wonder what is going on that I feel this way.  Woke up at 4:30AM - on a Saturday.  Usually it's at least 5AM.  I love that I have a bit over an hour yet before hubby will come to 'check up' on me cause I haven't come out of my room.  I heard him shaving earlier... I am guessing he will offer to take me for breakfast.  He does love to eat, especially breakfast.  Me, I'm not so big on breakfast, although I can eat it.  I'll fix up my fried potatoes with the eggs and jalapenos and onions - and we have bacon - so why go out and pay someone to cook it, serve it, to us? I'm much more comfortable eating at home... and I don't have to deal with everyone else wanting to go out.  Now if we were meeting others, that's different.  I enjoy that.  But, just for us, it's just routine.

I did get some walking in this week, although not much.  I know hubby has gotten on the treadmill a couple times too.  It's just hard for me to 'work out' with him at home.  I don't need his questions - and I know it's just me - 'how long did you walk?  how far did you walk? how fast did you walk?'  Ok - maybe he won't ask how fast, but still.... you get the general idea.  I KNOW I need to walk.  I KNOW I need to exercise.  It's all on me.  I'll do it in my time, my way.  sigh.

Don't have much planned for today - I am hoping to straighten up this room.  I've got stuff on the bed again and I need to put it away.  My youngest granddaughter will be coming over to stay the weekend in a couple weeks.  I want to take her to Savers to buy baby clothes, and she can help herself to these blankets that I've already made.  That will get some of this 'stuff' out of here.  I ought to clean out drawers and even my closet.  I ought....

Romans 12:15 (NKJV):  "Rejoice with those who rejoice; and weep with those who weep."

Being Memorial weekend, that scripture could have lots of meanings.  True, Memorial Day was created for those who fought for our country and did not make it back home.  But it has come over the years to remembering everyone who has passed on.  I, too, think of those I love who has passed on.  And sometimes in my sorrow of my loss, I do weep.  I weep for my children and grandchildren who did not get to know their generations past.  I weep for myself, because I miss certain ones, more so than others.  I grieve in my heart that things didn't turn out differently, or so many things go through my mind this morning.  

Oh I can rejoice that my children did get to know their grandparents.  And feel sad that most of the grandchildren have no memories.  It is my - and my children's - responsibility to be sure their children know who their grandparents and great-grandparents were - not just by name.  I truly hope my children will share with their children things about their dad that his memory will be passed on down.  I hope they write down and keep their thoughts about him close enough that they can share freely.  I try to remember things and post on here, hoping they will know that overall, their dad was a good man.  Our choices were made because we were both naive.  Not because we didn't love each other, for we did, even to the end.  We were still just kids, and not having an example to follow, well... things happened. Oh how I wish it had ended differently.  But then, if it had, I wouldn't have the wonderful and adoreable grandchildren - and great grandchildren - that I do now.

Ah, my thoughts are going back in time so it's time to close this off.   Be sensitive to those who are sorrowful at their loss; and rejoice with those who choose joy.  It's easy to say, when it isn't us.  But I wish you joy throughout the hard times, that you will know Jesus is always near, and is always in control, no matter what our choices are.  He will bring good from even the bad choices.  He always has; He always will.

Blessings!