My mind woke up singing this morning....

 This morning it was the song...  "Jesus Loves Me" by Chris Tomlin.  

It was only part of the chorus... "Jesus He Loves me, He loves me,  Jesus how can it be, He loves me, He is for me."  But over and over in my mind it went.  And you know what?  I feel loved by Jesus.  Just because He woke me with the song going through my head.  I think you really need to read the words of the entire song - or better yet - go to google or whatever and find where you can listen to it.  Want peace and feel loved?  Yeah, this song will do it for you.

Jesus Loves Me by Chris Tomlin...

I was lost, I was in chains, the world had a hold on me.

My heart was a stone, I was covered in shame, When He came for me.

I couldn't run, couldn't run, from His Presence.  I couldn't run, couldn't run from His arms.

Jesus, He loves me, He loves me, He is for me.  Jesus, how can it be, He loves me, He is for me.

It was a fire deep in my soul, I'll never be the same.

I stepped out of the dark and into the light, when He called my name.

I couldn't run, couldn't run, from His Presence.  I couldn't run, couldn't run from His arms.

Jesus, He loves me, He loves me, He is for me.  Jesus, how can it be, He loves me, He is for me.

He holds the stars and He holds my heart, with healing hands that bear the scars. The rugged cross where He died for me, my only hope, my everything.

Jesus, He loves me, He loves me, He is for me.  Jesus, how can it be, He love sme, He is for me.  (He loves, He loves) He loves me. (He loves He loves) He is for me. (He loves He loves) My God is amazing. Jesus loves me.

*******

I couldn't get the spacing to do single so had to run the chorus together in parts, but it is a beautiful song and I love it because it speaks to me.  Did you skim through the words to see what I was going to say about it?  Or did you read each word?  I challenge you to go back read each word (don't forget to find it and listen to the actual song!!  It's amazing!) and think about it as you read it.  Trust me, you will feel "something" whether you personally know Jesus or not.

Do you realize how much Jesus loves you?  His love for you is so great He went to the cross for you.  He gave up His life for you.  THAT is love, my friend.

Be blessed today, because the One who created you, loves you.

Finally Friday

 i wonder how often we call Friday "Finally Friday" in our conversations.  On Thursdays I will get emails stating "Happy Friday Eve" like this is a big day or something.  But it is only a big day when one is working, I guess, and looking forward to finishing out the work week (if you don't work on Saturday) and having a day off.  With a trip to Mesa and a couple trips over to the IT office, I've actually gotten out of the house on business a few times.  It's been nice.

My boss sent me a message early yesterday morning asking how I was doing.  She and I both were going back and forth about her new boss and my new support.  I told her I was doing better, and shared the devotional I had read.  You can go back to yesterday's post and (re)read it.  She liked it a lot and we ended up talking about it some.  I thanked her for keeping me centered on not letting things control me, and she thanked me for the encouragement and the spiritual leadership I give her (me? the one who is nearly always off the wall?).  We really do make a good team and we both thank God for bringing each other into our lives.

Yesterday there was an incident that was hysterically funny in my mind.  I laughed - a lot.  Hubby wasn't quite as amused.  Hubby had gone outside to water the plants (even the dead ones in the basket... haven't figured that out yet.  Does he plan to resurrect them?) and he noticed something on the ground so he came into the house and asked me to come look to see if I knew what it was.  It looks ugly, but like a huge mushroom that has grown over a two foot area in a 6-8" line.  It was hard, he said, yet slimy.  And it was stuck to the ground.  We found a couple other places where it had started growing in the rocks next to the house.  I took a photo and sent to our son-in-law and he immediately came back with 'fungus'.  As I was doing that, a neighbor down the street was getting his mail so hubby asked that he come down and look at it and tell us what it is.  I already had the answer, but the neighbor came down and said the same thing - fungus.  He kicked it until he loosened a bit of it (about 3" high!) and suggested we dig it up and then sprinkle/pour muriatic acid on it to kill it so it wouldn't grow back.  He mentioned that he has seen it around the neighborhood before.  Then the neighbor looks at me and asks who I am... I hadn't met him yet.  (This is where it gets funny!)  Tom introduces me as his wife as I shake his hand and give my name.  The neighbor looks at me and hubby and tells him something to the effect "if I had seen her first she sould be barefoot...".  He asked if I had heard that saying before.  I finished it for him - "barefoot and pregnant"?  I'm a Tennessee gal; of course I have heard that saying!  That got me started laughing.  Then it was weird.... he insisted Tom and I go to his house across the street and down a couple because he wanted to show up the layout.  Neither hubby nor I could figure out the WHY he insisted on us seeing his house.... ours is different layout... not that it matters.  But this guy was popping off comments on different things and they would just make me laugh.  As we left, he commented to hubby "no wonder you are smiling all the time"!   Ah.... little does he know.... but it did make me laugh again and we still couldn't figure out why he wanted to show us his house.

No, hubby didn't remove the fungus yesterday.  He said he would go out 'early' this morning before the sun gets hot (it's already 82 degrees at 5:48AM) and dig it up.  We also discussed a spot in the rocks that is wet with a little standing water.... I've seen it before but hadn't thought much about it.... our neighbor said it looked to him like a pipe has broken and is leaking - and that it had been fixed within the last year.  Thank goodness we don't have to pay the water bill - the HOA does.  So hubby needs to put a 'flag' on that spot so that the landscapers will take care of it.  The neighbor (who is also on the HOA) said he would call the property management  person for us and tell them what needs to be done.  I guess it was obvious that hubby doesn't know.  Remember me getting by ants the other week?  He put a flag where the ants are.... after property management told him to buy some ant killer and put out there.  He didn't.  He put a flag.  The landscapers will not do anything about ants.  And now that I know he didn't do anything, guess we will get it this weekend and spread it out there.  

Although I don't have much in plans for the weekend, I'm looking forward to it.  I still need to unload the computer equipment out of the car but decided that I need to bring in the house as the garage gets so hot.  Not good on company equipment.  I think I'll clear off a shelf in the hall closet so that I can put things there.  That will be a project I can do - and if things are slow today, I may just do it today to get it done.

So what are your plans for the weekend?  I'm thinking some crocheting, some straightening up, emptying the car of computer equipment, church, getting rid of some clutter, and relaxing.  I saw an 'estate sale' sign yesterday down the street.  I REALLY wanted to go see what was there and see if there are any pretty dishes..... but I would not let myself.  I have enough clutter still that I don't need to add to it just because it's pretty.  I had to let go of so much (not whining, just reality) when we moved - and I'm glad we did.  I was able to pass some things on to others and Goodwill made a fortune off of us.  I still have a lot that I need / should get rid of... but not this weekend.  Not going to be that thorough.  But the most important thing I will do this weekend is spend my time with Jesus.

Jesus gets me going in the mornings - even on weekends.  

Blessings!

Attitude Adjustment ... working on it

 The trip to the office yesterday went very well, I think.   Two of my friends were in the office working on a project so I got to visit and catch up with them.  My boss came in and the four of us got to have lunch together and shared a lot of laughs as we were catching up on things.  I packed up more computer equipment than I thought I had.... and now need to clean out a cabinet in the garage so that I can store it all in there.  I found the one computer I needed to hand off to a new executive I will be supporting to IT so that they can update it and assign to him.  I imagine I will be going back today to pick it up.  It was a good trip there and back.  It seemed like a very good day.

I jumped back on the computer when I got home and my boss and I were exchanging emails about various projects we are working on.... and 'the email' came regarding the replacement for my other boss who retired.  I was disappointed.  The one I have mentioned that I was somewhat 'anxious' about  getting the job - got it.  I had put myself 'out there' to the President of the division and told him my concerns.  Of course the final decision was not his, but those above him, but still....  I have struggled with this person responding to my emails.  She blows off meetings that I've included her in.  She is intent on doing her own thing (which is just as important), but being as I have been focused on this one area with my former boss to have this one who is now getting that job somewhat 'ignore' that part of it... it disturbs me.  I had told the president of this division that I felt disrespected when she does not even bother to respond to my questions.  Yes, she is an internal hire; this is a promotion for her.  I'm happy for her and I'm sure she will do a great job.  I just don't want to support her.  But that is my job.  And with that, I need to do an attitude adjustment, and wipe away all the times I have been frustrated at her lack of response to me.  

So with that happening and then hubby decided to have another one of his discussions with me... and my comments of his failure to do upkeep of the house as he promised .... it wasn't a really great evening.  I went to bed with a headache and am so-so right now.  I think I slept decent enough, but time will tell.

So with all that, today's devotion really spoke to me.  I'm trying to find my way back to the sweetness of His Spirit.... but sometimes life just beats you up and tears you down so much that one tends to give up.  And I think that is what I have done.  I've given up holding on.  And I'm searching and reaching for His hand again to hold me close.  I am in desperate need of quality quiet and alone time with Jesus.  More than just the time I take in the mornings.  What I have in the mornings sustains me, but sometimes it isn't enough to get me through the barage of the day.  Lord Jesus, help me!

Today's devotion has to do with 'Living from the Inside Out'.  Ironically there is a message I wrote one time about that very subject.  And at that time, I was living from the inside out.  I just don't feel that now and I miss it.  I'm searching for it.  I long for it.

"My child, I want you to live in such confidence in your relationship with me that nothing moves you. I want you to be so aware of my presence that you and I carry on a constant conversation. I want you to feel my nearness every moment of the day. I want to draw you into the depths of my heart, day and night.

This is the inner life I've called you to lead - and I want you to then live from the inside out. I offer you the chance to know me, to really know my character and to believe in my generous nature. I want you to know me as Savior, Friend, and Overcoming King. I offer you the chance to live in the way you've always dreamed, to be fully aware of the direction I'm leading you , to notice the gentle tug that pulls you toward your destiny and into an excited and spontaneous response. I want you to be so confident in my Spirit within you that the realm of my kingdom is just as real - or even more real - than the situations around you. I want you to live from the inside out."

Luke 17:20-21 (TPT)  "Jesus responded, "God's kingdom realm does not come simply, by obeying principles or by waiting for signs. The kingdom is not discovered in one place or another, for God's kingdom realm is already expanding within some of you."

Yeah.... that's what I'm missing... the 'living from the inside out' part.  I allowed life to beat me up and take over my thoughts and my passions.  I need an attitude adjustment, a heart adjustment, a mind adjustment.  And I imagine some of you do as well.

So what I'm going to do right now is take some time talking to Jesus and get some things straightened out in me. Life is hard, very hard at times.  It hurts you, it beats you up.  And that's when we need to focus on Jesus and draw ever so near to Him, laying all these issues and hurts down, and getting close to Him.  

That's where you will find me the rest of my time this morning before work.  Sitting at Jesus' feet and telling Him what's going on inside of me, and asking Him to help me in my weakness, forgive me for trying to do it all in my own power, and take over my life completely.  I want Him to live not only IN me, but in my thoughts, my words, my attitude, my life.   It's all about Jesus.

What about you?  Do you need to spend some time with Jesus too?

I get to go on a trip today!

 Today is the day that I drive to Mesa to pick up the computer equipment for my new person starting next month.  I have already contacted IT to meet with them and get the laptop updated and put in his name.  I did that on Monday, and when I get back home today with the equipment, I am to call them and meet them at a facility not far from me so that they can work on it.  I was going to let them do it in Mesa, but 'what if' they didn't get it done before I was ready to head home?  There is that possibility.  So I asked if I could instead take it to the IT office near me.  When I call, I just need to confirm it is where I went last time.  I will have another new 'boss' starting probably the end of August, first of September time frame so will need to do this again to get the laptop updated and ready to go.  I have that laptop here at home.  I'm not real thrilled with two new bosses and then not even able to work in person with them so that I could get to know them, but it is what it is.  And know with COVID rising, who knows when that will happen.

Anyway, today I will also meet up with my boss for lunch.  She can't get to the office until around noon but I plan to go down around 9:30-10AM to load all the equipment I still have at my desk and bring it home.  It will save me another trip down to Mesa if I do that, although I am only expecting these two new bosses.  My boss and I plan to go to lunch before I head back home.  She lives 15 minutes away from that office so it isn't a long drive for her - for me, even with today's traffic, it will take 50 minutes minimum.  And that's ok.  I get out of the house - alone - and get to go somewhere.

My boss and I were going to drive to the new office in Phoenix today, but after doing some checking yesterday, we won't be allowed on the floor.  Security won't let us up because we haven't moved into that area yet.  I suggested to my boss that we wait until time that we can go to the office - and she agreed.  She was going to show me where to park, etc. anyway, but I figured it could be a few months and who knows what changes would be made.  So we will do lunch and catch up on things.  It's always a joy to get to see her and spend time with her.  She's been my mentor, my boss, and my friend for over 30 years now.

Who do you have in your life that speaks life into you?  Who do you have in your life that you speak life into?  We all need someone - that certain someone - who will encourage us and lift us up when we are down and out.  I have this friend who helps me through my tough times.  I truly believe that God placed her in my life so many years ago that we connected and have remained friends all this time.  Even when we were separated by jobs, we would meet once a month and go for a walk and breakfast, just to stay connected.  It's not always easy with us living in different cities, but we always reach out to make that connection.  It helps we are back working together again - and that she is my boss.  Who is that person in your life who is walking that journey with you?

Jesus is always walking with us, there is no doubt of that.  But I am talking about someone else whom He has placed in your life to walk with you.  I'm not even referring to your spouse.  Who is that close friend that you can call when you are hurting, you are lonely, you just need a friend to be there?  Who can you name for that person?   My mind always goes to this person.  She loves me just as I am and is always ready to encourage me.

Proverbs 18:24  (TPT) "Some friendships don't last for long, but there is one loving friend who is joined to your heart closer than any other!"

Take some time and think about who that friend is that is always there for you.  Thank God for them.  Then think of what type of friend are you to someone else.  Are you always there for them, should they call and need someone to talk to?   It may be a sibling that you need to walk life with.  It may be another friend who needs a friend.  Are you that person?   Be.The.One.

Life is too short not to have friends who will walk this journey of life.  Find one. Be one.

Blessings!

God still watches over us...

 I forgot to share this yesterday; remembered it last night.  Remember the downpour we had on Sunday?  It didn't start out too bad out here.  We watched Jentezen Franklin's message on Sunday morning, then decided to do a 'run' to Costco.  We knew it was raining, but it wasn't a hard rain, so why not get something done we wanted to do?  Costco opens at 10AM on Sundays so we thought we could beat the 'crowd' and be there right around 10AM.  We get ready, open the garage door, get in the car and back it out... and the rain seemed to pick up some.  We start down the road (in hubby's car) and water is on both sides of the street - you know how it collects there first before it hits the middle of the road.  All of a sudden, it's like the heavens opened and rain just poured down!  We could barely see in front of us.  We were barely a street or two a way and we made a decision to go back home and just wait out the storm.  There was no critical need to go anyway.  We pull back into the garage, and go inside.  All of a sudden, hubby jumps up out of his chair and goes to the garage.  He comes back in and says that he had gotten notification on his phone that his left rear tire had only 5 pounds of pressure in it.  So he went to check - and sure enough, it was flat.

That is God taking care of us.  If we had continued on the road to Costco, in the pouring rain, not knowing we had a tire going flat or was flat (because going through the waters you'd never know)... we could have been stranded for some time on the side of the road, could have ruined the tire wheel, could have come out to notice the flat tire and have to wait in the rain forever for AAA to come.  A lot of things could have happened.  Because we turned around and came home, we were dry and the car was in the garage.

Yesterday morning hubby called AAA to come out and because we were not in traffic, they didn't arrive for a couple hours.  The mechanic hikes up car, loosens the lug nuts and opens the trunk to get the spare out..... only to find no spare.  There was a black box there, but no spare tire.  So he filled up the tire with air, tightened the lug nuts, and told hubby it should last for him to get it fixed.  Hubby first calls the dealership where he got his car and asked about not having a spare tire.  They asked him if a black box was in its place and hubby said yes.  The black box is a compressor.  Hubby's car is 2015 and around that time Chevy stopped putting spare tires in - instead putting the compressor so that you could pump the tire up to get you where you needed to get it fixed, versus changing a tire.  I don't know what they do if the tire is gashed and air cannot be put in it.  But regardless, that's the deal on that.  Hubby goes on to Big O's to get the tire fixed to find two nails in it; one on the side so that it is unfixable.  The other rear tire had a nail in it, but not puncturing the tire yet.  One of the front right was getting thin and I'm not sure about the 4th tire.  Anyway... long story short... hubby came home to discuss it with me.... but will be going back this morning to have 4 new tires put on the car.  

The point of this narrative is that God was taking care of us, even when we didn't expect it.  He knew the tire was going flat.  He knew that if we drove it any further, we could have been stranded for who knows how long with the rain pouring down.  He knew that by putting it in our mind to go back home and 'wait out the rain' we would be safe.  God took care of us, once again.  And he does that for you.  I am sure some things happen to you or your family but you are just thinking 'oh it was just a lucky thing that we....' or 'we were fortunate that....'  but it isn't luck or good fortune...it is God, All God, taking care of you.  Sit back and think about the times that you took for granted as good luck or good favor happening to you.  And take a moment and just tell your Heavenly Father "Thanks" for taking care of you and of your family.  You are precious to Him.

Think about it as part of that 'quietness and solitude' that I talked about a few days ago.  Quiet yourself, quiet your mind, and think about how good God has been to you, even though you haven't thanked Him, even though you haven't even given Him credit.  You have a roof over your head, a car to drive (in most cases), a job (sometimes), and a healthy family.  Isn't that enough to even get a 'thank you, Lord' out of you?  I am grateful every day that my family is alive and well.  When you begin to get older, as I have, and your siblings aren't doing that well..... you tend to be thankful you have them one more day.  I may not talk to them often, but there are a few of them that I never know when I will get that devastating phone call.  I am grateful they are still here on earth.  There will come a time that each one of us will be called before the throne, I pray that they will be ready to meet Jesus.  

You may laugh about that statement and make jokes about hell.... I had that conversation with one of my siblings yesterday and the need to forgive and let go of the past.  Unforgiveness just gives the other person(s) power over you.  And it keeps you out of heaven.  I refuse to give anyone that power over me except Jesus.  I may not want to associate with that person any more, and that is ok.  I may not like or approve of what they do.  But I will forgive them because I will not give them power to keep me out of heaven.  I have enough of my own 'garbage' that can do that... I don't need any help.  God and I talk often cause I want to make sure I'm ready when my time comes.  My little sister and I joke that we hope God calls us home on a 'good day'.  

And I hope that for you as well.  Why not start or end each day with a clean slate?  Forgive even the unforgiveable.... it doesn't mean you approve. It just means that you are willing to take away the power of the unforgiveness.  Be THAT one.  You will feel better.  I truly believe there are things in some peoples lives that keep them from being well.  And I believe that it is caused by unforgiveness, because they live in the past.  They can't let go of that hurt, that sin, that thing done against them.  And because they can't let it go, they have given others power over their health.  They have allowed the unforgiveness to take over.  It brings disease, it brings depression, it brings sadness and sorrow.  You can't get better because your soul is sick.  Let it go.

Jesus is our only Hope.  Reach out and thank Him for all that He has done for you.  He loves you so much He went to the cross for you.  He took your sin and nailed it to the cross.  He forgave you.  And so we are to forgive others, and ourselves.  Think about it.

Blessings!

Experimental Soup and ....talking to God first

 I had put some frozen hamburger and turkey sausage in the refrigerator the other day and knew that I needed to get it used up.... so I experimented with it yesterday and it did end up being pretty good!  I took some of the hamburger and turkey sausage and cooked it together.  Putting that in the crockpot I added a can of diced tomatoes with Italian seasoning, a drained and rinced can of kidney beans, and after that simmered for awhile, added some small shell pasta and voila!  The look was very similar to chili, but the flavor and the texture was not.   It was actually pretty good.  When it was done I took a small cup of it to hubby (cause I had cooked breakfast and we didn't eat lunch).... and he went back for seconds!  We also had it for dinner and there is enough left he can have it for lunch today.  It really was good.  I took the remainder of the hamburger and turkey sausage mixture that I had not put in that 'soup' and added a jar of spaghetti sauce and black olives.  Tonight I'll cook up some spaghetti noodles and we'll have spaghetti for dinner.  At least I did do something yesterday - I cooked!  I do enjoy cooking and trying new recipes - or creating my own.  I do need to write that one down, though, cause it was good.

Today is Monday and back to work.  I didn't even take a peek to see what was on the calendar for today, but I do think I have a meeting regarding a new hire we have starting August 16.  Need to find out what I have to do in order to get him set up.  This week I will have two trips 'out of town'.  I go back to the Mesa office to pick up computer equipment for the new hires on Wednesday and meet my boss.  We will then go to the Corporate office and look to see where we will be able to reserve cubicles and offices when we have to go in.  Then back to Mesa to get my car and I'll head home.  On Friday I'm meeting a couple friends who live in that side of town for lunch.  I'm not sure yet where we'll meet for lunch, but I do need to find a place and am looking on that side of town.   My boss doesn't care if I'm gone for a couple hours - after all, I still get my work done and sometimes I start at 6:30AM or even have to work after 5PM if I'm in a meeting taking minutes. 

My devotional today really spoke to me.  How many of you will sometimes tell others what your problem(s) is and never take time to pray about it yourself?  You depend on others to pray it through for you.  You may whisper a quick 'help me in this, Lord', but you don't take that issue to Him before sharing it with others.  If it's important enough to ask others to pray for you about it, don't you think it is important enough for you to take it first to the One who knows all, hears all, and can fix all?  Listen to this:

"I alone am your Savior. No one has the power to save you from the utter confusion that tries to plague you. Though I give you others to glean from and people who demonstrate my love, I want you to come to me first. I want you to depend on me more than any other, to believe that I truly am enough. Though I often speak through vessels of clay, I also speak to you from the place of stillness - the place of my Presence.  Don't reach to others first. Don't broadcast your need to the world before you have sought my wisdom. Come to me first."

Matthew 6:33-34 (TPT)  "Above all, constantly chase after the realm of God's kingdom and the righteousness that proceeds from him.  Then all these less important things will be given to you abundantly. Refuse to worry about tomorrow, but deal with each challenge that comes your way, one day at a time.  Tomorrow will take care of itself."

It only takes a few seconds to just say "Lord, I don't know how to deal with this situation so I ask that You give me the wisdom to know what to do."  And believe that He will supply all that you need, when you need it.  Sometimes we want all the answers in one lump pile - but God doesn't always do that.  Sometimes it is just one little step at a time.  How much do you trust Him to provide all that you need?  He gave you the family you have.  He gave you your home.  He gave you the job to pay for that home. Our God provides all that we need.  And He is just waiting for you to bring any issue that troubles you to Him, and ask Him to help you in it.  Not to 'fix it', but to help you through it.  

God will never lead you to the fire and leave you in it.  He will also walk with you through the fire.  Talk to Him first.  He will provide all that you need, for that moment in time.

Blessings!

Yesterday was a great day!

 Yesterday something happened that only happens at Christmas time.  And I am glad it did.  I got to see all three of my children in one day!  I guess at Christmas time it is two days but yesteday I got to see all three!

It was a lazy start of the morning and hubby and I sat out on the front courtyard drinking coffee for awhile as it was in the 70's and the rain had stopped.  I eventually came in and got ready for lunch.  That was the start of my day.... and it was a great day.

I met my middle child for lunch and he brought me a surprise - his granddaughter (my great-granddaughter) was in town and she came to lunch with us!  What a fun surprise that was and I enjoyed seeing her so much!  She actually began to warm up to me towards the end, I think.  I remembered I had a stuffed animal in the car for her and was able to pass it on - and she seemed to love it. It was a good lunch and I'm so glad my son honors me by meeting up about once a quarter or so in order for us to catch up on life.  Of course he writes a blog and I blab everything on here so he knows about everything, but we still were able to talk about some things.  I remembered the photo/frame that I had for him and I think he liked it - and he told me he had that very photo as a screen saver on his computer.  I love the picture of his granddaughter that I gave him.  I'm glad I had it printed.  It's one I have on my TV stand as well.  It reminded me of a photo I took of his daughter years ago at the park.  A favorite memory.

After leaving lunch I headed over the youngest child's house to celebrate his step-son's birthday a week early.  His birthday is actually next Sunday - don't know why they did it early unless he will be with his dad.  Anyway - went over there for awhile.  Didn't want anything to eat although they had plenty of food - but I was 'gracious' enough to have a small piece of chocolate cake and ice cream.  I wanted to be kind.  Then I was really stuffed!  It was a great time because I was able to spend somewhat quality time with my son by standing with him in the kitchen and talking.  Of course every conversation was listened to, but it is what it is.  I teased him about a comment he made to his brother.... the brother takes me to lunch once a quarter, the daughter and I have jailbreak getaway and meet once a week to crochet/knit, and he gets stuck with doing a 10K with me each quarter.

Yeah - for his October birthday I signed him up for a virtual 'race' walk in which we get a T-Shirt and medal and we walk a 10K anytime, anywhere.  He seemed to grumble about it but I told him that it was something we could do together.  Then he shows me two 'race' medals that he and his wife had that they had done (one together, him one alone).  I'm glad they are doing something together and he is at least walking some.  In spite of he didn't seem real excited about the one I signed him up for.  That's ok.  I can do them alone from here on out if he doesn't want to do them.  I want to keep moving and that's why I do it.  And it's virtual... you walk it in your own time.  I can do that.

With having our Indy trip getting worked out and firming up, I really need to get back into workout mold.  I would like to lose ten pounds at least before I go - and that is still do-able.  But that means I have to quit eating a bunch of things that I do eat.  Sometimes you just gotta in order to look betta.

My day continued on yesterday after the birthday party and we went to church last night - physically and in personn - and it was a great message on the movie The Sandlot.  I hadn't seen it, but it seemed like a really cool and funny movie.  It didn't stir a great desire in me to go watch it, but it was a good movie, at least the parts we saw.  My oldest child (my daughter) and her hubby joined us at church last night where we ate popcorn while watching the movie/service and then we grabbed 'dinner' together in the cafe there.  I was not hungry but did get some tomato basil soup that was really good.  I have to say it because I was over the top surprised.... hubby got a huge slice of pizza, french fries, and mac & cheese.  He never gets all that!!  I asked him if he was hungry and he said yes.  I found out later he didn't see where the hot and cold sandwiches were so he grabbed what he saw.  Next week I'll have to show him where real food is.  That is way too many carbs to be consuming at one meal.

AND.... hubby's tossing and turning - whether from all the carbs or from his shoulder hurting kept me awake most of the night so a bit after 3AM I came into this room and tried to go back to sleep until 5AM.  Hubby brought my coffee in, but I still have had difficulty staying awake this morning.  I barely could get my devotional read because my eyes would not stay open.  I should have stopped way back when to do this for with jump-starting my mind trying to spell words right (and not succeeding in all cases) and make coherent sentences have awakened my mind some.  Not a lot - I could still close my eyes and try to sleep again - but it isn't a deep sleep, but a light sleep that makes you feel that you haven't slept at all.  Know what I mean?  

Psalm 119:60 - "I will hasten and not delay to obey your commands."

Don't we wish that our children would (have) take(n) that statement to heart when they were growing up!  And I am sure that our Heavenly Father wishes WE would honor that statement as well.  

Is there something you know you should do but just don't want to do it so keep putting it off?  Granted, it isn't the same thing as the above message states, but still.  I know I want to shampoo the back room because it smells like dog from Sheeba laying by the back door in between groomings.  Hubby doesn't smell it, but I do.  I've delayed it three days now since I mentioned it to hubby.  And today is SUNDAY and it's a day of REST, right?

But the statement above is towards God, not our parents (or our spouse).  When He commands us, we should hasten and not delay to obey Him.  Do you sometimes feel an urge to help your child or your spouse complete a task - even though you know you don't want to?  Perhaps that is God, urging you to be a helper for that moment.  Does someone's name keep coming to you?  Perhaps that is the Holy Spirit urging you to pick up your phone and touch base with them.  These are not necessarily commands, but when good things to do come to mind, we should hasten to do those as well.  

I haven't read my Bible yet this morning because I couldn't keep my eyes open - but now that I have paused my sleep-reading to type this, and drink my coffee, I am a bit more awake and can do that.  It's the best way to start the day.

Have you opened your Bible lately.... or is it gathering dust?

Blessings! 

Some things do work out....

 After working so long on getting our big trip in September figured out, I focused some yesterday on our upcoming anniverary trip.  We have reservations to go up north for 3-4 days in a nice place, and hubby had rented the king suite to give us plenty of room.  I decided that rather than try to discuss my thoughts with hubby, I would email him, so that he could 'hear' what I was trying to say, and not just certain words he wanted to hear.    The words would be 'in front' of his eyes and he could read them over and over, versus just hearing what I said - and what he wanted to hear - once.  It also prevented a lot of frustration on my part for his interpretation of what I was trying to get said.  Makes sense, right?  

Within the hour after I had sent it, hubby came into my 'office' and suggested I take a break and come out on the front court as with the clouds and rain cooling the temperature it was nice to sit in.  So I did.  As I sat down he commented "I read your email."  That surprised me cause it had only been a short while since I had sent it.  But his next words really surprised me.... "I agree and think it is a good idea."  Wait! What? He agrees without giving a big discussion?   

During our 'discussion' the other night he commented about all the money we are spending on these two trips.  (Plus the fact that Amazon has been stopping frequently at our house.... I've already started my Christmas shopping.  I DO have a lot of people to buy for!)   My suggestion?  Cancel the hotel for our August getaway.  Stay in town and use our home as base.  (I know, I talked him into this a few years ago - he didn't like it - so I wasn't sure it would go over this year)  I told him we could go ahead and put Sheeba in the pet resort which will give her freedom to run in the yard with other dogs.  We could do whatever we want, whenever we wanted, and not worry about getting home to let her out.  BUT - my suggestions included a trip to Tucson to visit our granddaughter and her family; go up to Mt Lemon; a trip to Cave Creek to see what stores are still in business (there was one restaurant called The Satisfied Frog before), perhaps a trip to Litchfield to see if the mall that was there YEARS ago around the WigWam is still there... just places to go to so that he could feel he was on 'vacation'.  I also told him we could go out to breakfast and dinner every day - just like we would if we were elsewhere.  He does love to eat out.

I get it.  He is home day in and day out and uses it as his 'base' for whatever... and yes, for the last year and a half it has also been my office and home base.  But I'm content to stay at home.... he isn't.  I even had the opportunity to comment to him about HIS comments recently about money and his seemingly fear of spending it....although a couple things recently did not bother him at all to spend.... but I told him that what came to mind was the scripture "Money is the root of all evil."  You cannot serve two masters - it's either God, or money.  God doesn't want us to waste it, but He also doesn't want us to value money before living life.   For the first time in our married life we have the ability to DO things (reasonably) and enjoy life.  If we go up north... where we have frequently gone over the years and love it... we have been everywhere and would end up sitting in the room most of the time.  To me that is a waste of money; we can sit at home - although it would be cooler up there....He agreed with my suggestions for the trip next month, for which I'm grateful.  I'm a home person and although I do feel the need to getaway occasionally, I like doing it when I feel the need, not just because it is a special occasion.  I've mentioned here before how some days I just NEED to get some space - but that is usually alone... 

In Matthew 6:24 and in Luke 16:13 the scripture is the same...."No one can serve two masters.  Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other.  You cannot serve both God and money."

God has blessed us with having some freedom with our money now, but I don't want it to 'own' us.  I admit, as I've mentioned before, I love being able to go shopping and get something if I want to.  But many times I can go shopping all day; or even get on Amazon, and find nothing that I want to buy.  And that's ok.  I don't have to spend money.  I like having money in the bank.  But I'm not hoarding it to pass on to others when I die.  I'm enjoying it, just as God intended.  I enjoy giving God back what is His already.  And in return, He provides all that we need.  

Today I get to have lunch with my middle child and I'm really looking forward to it.  So that I don't forget what it was I have for him, I have stuck it in my purse.  I just hope I remember to take my purse.  I know he will like it, but knowing him, he will shrug.  That's just his nature.  I did it with him in mind and that is all that matters.  He was on my mind.

Have you done something special for someone lately?  What about taking your child out for a meal?  Going for a walk with your spouse? Calling a friend on the phone and letting them know you are thinking about them?  

Life is short.  Do something special.

Blessings!

Trip falling into place....I hope

 I worked on, and thought alot, about our itinerary yesterday and finally printed out what I had down so that I could show hubby and discuss with him. You know I have to have his 'buy-in' or ... well, let's leave it there.  I handed him a copy and emphasized that it was for his review and comments.  Nothing was set in stone.  

I had opted out of getting a rental car because for most of the time I will be with my little sister and she will be transporting me around to our older sister and my younger brother visits.  Hubby would be with his brother for those times (except for dinner one night with my younger brother).  While I'm with my sister, hubby will be with his brother and can be transported anywhere.  Besides, hubby doesn't need to be driving.  AND a rental for the 13 days we will be away is nearly $1K.  Yes, you heard that right.  Even at the special rate of $56/day that I can get, it is still too much and for the majority of that time, it isn't needed.  I finally decided that perhaps a rental from Thursday to Monday, when we leave, would be ok although one day it would probably sit in a driveway.  We will have traveling from the center of the city to the south side from one relative to another, and I really don't like putting that responsibility on anyone.  But hubby decided to veto that idea.  I figure we can wait until we are there and make that decision then.  I know my brother will let me have the Scion - "my car" convertible for as long as I want to use it - but I don't plan to see him until the 2nd weekend.  AND I would be the only one allowed to drive it.  Sounds like a perfect plan for me, but I know hubby will not like it at all.  He didn't the last time we were given the car to use.  

Hubby was also concerned about the 4-5 days I had him at his brother's without me.  I think that is more his concern - I wouldn't be with him.  But I reminded him that I have another sister I need to visit (that he has no desire to see) and another brother and a step brother I'd like to also connect with, even for a short visit.  He can join us for dinner with the brother. He asked if I had checked with the sister-in-law about him staying there and I told him yes - he was sitting right next to me when I called and we talked about the schedule and that I wanted the two brothers to spend as much time together as possible.  We have no idea when we will be going back again for a visit... hubby is 84 and the brother in law is 74.  He didn't like it that I wouldn't be there, but finally said ok. I'll be joining him on that Thursday evening of the week.  I know my sister is ok with whatever I come up with, but I do need to check with the older brother yet about staying a couple nights with him.  I'm pretty confident he will say yes as he and I have talked frequently about it.  I could have chatted with him about it last night because we did text back and forth, but hubby had one of his 'discussions' with me at the dinner table and I just didn't want to talk to anyone.  I will send my brother an email this morning with my request so that he can discuss with his wife.   I think hubby finally agreed with the scheduling.  We wouldn't be staying that long normally (13 days!) but I want to spend a weekend with this brother as he and I are so close.  I love each of my family, but some I have a special bond with, moreso than the others.

And if need be, and the family can't handle us that long, there are always hotels - which is a consideration for a couple nights as well so that we can have our space without being dependent upon anyone.  I'm sure a lot of things will change before we actually leave town in September.

My son washing his car the other day has definitely done the trick to get us rain.  It has been thundering all night - I don't know if we actually got rain here, but saw on the news last night of other areas nearby that were getting hit.  Sheeba doesn't like the thunder.... she hid in my shower again for awhile last night.  The thunder is going pretty good this morning so I'm sure she isn't happy in her crate either.

My ant bites look horrible.  I googled what I could do to stop the itching and it said to use hydrocortisone cream - which we had.  It did help with the itching and I was able to sleep most of the night. (That and I had asked God to stop the itching so that I could sleep - He answered.)  I was awake from about 1AM on because hubby kept tossing and turning with his sore arthritic shoulder and it keeps me awake. (I neglected to ask God to keep hubby still) This is a nightly thing but he refuses to let me sleep in the other room so that I can get rest.  The itching has already started this morning and I will be putting cream on the spots pretty quick now.  They are dime size with a hard dot in the middle.  Google said don't pop the blister, but I did on a couple because they itched so bad I scratched them open.  My ankle seems to itch the most and appears swollen.  It's really odd - I have one bite on my right foot, and the remaining 9 or so bites are all on my left leg from the knee down.  I'm still 'assuming' these are all ant bites since that is what I was covered with.  The HOA is to come out and spray that area soon - hubby sent them a 'note'.

I started the book of Luke in my Bible this morning.  I've been reading a few chapters each morning, recently started back with the book of Matthew again and am now starting Luke, and making sure I also read the notes at the bottom.  Sometimes it really clarifies what is being said in the scriptures.  In Chapter 1 alone it clarifies how Zacharias questioned Gabriel when he was given his message (and he became mute until John was born!) and how Mary humbly accepted what Gabriel was telling her.  

If you had an angel appear to you and tell you he was from God, and he had a message for you - how would you react?  I honestly don't know for myself.  I hope that I would be so confident in my God that I would not even question the message, but just believe.  And I think I would be.  But I don't know.  I know that God has spoken to me at different times, and I know it was Him, but if an angel appeared, I don't know!  Would I be like Zacharias and question - or like Mary and humbly accept what is told?  What would you do?  Would you believe?

No one is too far gone from the grace of God.  Not me, not you.  All we have to do is believe that Jesus is the Son of God, that He died and rose again on the third day.  That He took all our sins and they were nailed to the cross with His body.  He gave life up, bearing all our guilt and shame, so that we will have a chance to live.  I choose to believe.  Do you?

Have a great Friday!

Little animals, Annoying bites!

 I took Sheeba out for a morning ritual the other morning and I led her around the back yard.  At one point I stopped between the house next door and ours, and I was standing on the rocks and Sheeba was still in the grass.  I was watching a man walking his dog a house away (as was Sheeba) and was making sure I had hold of MY dog.  All of a sudden I felt somethingon my legs.  I look down and my shoes, socks, and from the knees down - I'm covered in ANTS!!  I started wiping them off as fast as I could - they were getting in my socks and in my shoes - so quickly the shoes and socks come off.  I'm wiping them off my legs and I'm sure I was quite the scene.  I see some ants on Sheeba's legs so I'm rubbing down her legs as well, trying to get away from the area the ants are in.  I finally succeed (I think) and after looking to be sure I had all the ants off my shoes and socks, legs, and off Sheeba, we went into the house.  

I forgot about all that until last evening.  My leg started itching and I discovered 3 'bites' on my leg.  Puzzled, I kept looking and found more bites - on both legs - and one on my hand!  ITCH ITCH ITCH!!!! It has been horrible.  I've put cream on them, I have put peroxide, and the itching continues.  I was able to go to sleep last night - but was awakened by the bite on my ankle that was itching like crazy.  I scratched and it felt so good - and yet I knew that the more I scratched and the more it felt good, the more it was going to itch and hurt, so made myself stop scratching.  I finally fell back to sleep.  This morning, as I sit here, every one of the bites are itching like crazy!  What is weird about these bites are there is a hard 'ball' in the center of the bite.  Not sure whether that is just the place where I was bitten or what it is.  Whatever it is, I itch!  Maybe I'll try the baking soda and vinegar glob today.  Anything to stop the itching!

I was able to get some of the itinerary taken care of yesterday with talking with one sister and my sister-in-law.  The first few days are scheduled and taken care of.  My sister went ahead and made reservations for us (she and I) in Brown County to spend a couple days.  We both need that 'getaway' to reconnect and have that memory.  They have great little shops and it will be fun to walk through them and perhaps choose some things for gifts.  I'm looking forward to it - and it gives my sister something to look forward to.  Hubby will stay with his brother so that they can reconnect. 

Our new Chief Network guy contacted me yesterday and we were able to text back and forth.  I've seen his photo and he is a young guy (probably in his 30's, I'm guessing).  Married, has a couple children according to his photo I found while researching him.  I need to get the equipment he wants pulled together, talk to IT and get the computer I have for him updated and ready for him.  I'll pass his computer over to him before we go on our anniversary getaway so that he will have it to start on that Monday morning.  I'm not planning on going to the office to meet with him.... he will be going to the main Corporate office to meet with the President that first day.  I don't need to be there.  But I do need to arrange 'meet and greet' meetings for him with a lot of people.  I just need to figure out who.  I'll contact the President today and find out who he wants him to meet with and will get on the calendar.  I will be busy doing that today.

I'm still reading in my Solitude and Silence book, and have you figured out how hard it is to just be quiet and alone?  I mean, being alone is not THAT hard, but being in solitude and silence IS hard.  I keep trying and no sooner than I sit back and try to shut my mind off  -  it starts in on things I need to get done, things I want to get done, things people said that I need to process, things I want to say, what my plans are, what I need to do, what I should do if I can find time, what's on my schedule for today...... the list just goes on and on in my mind.  It's like I never thought of those things before and because I'm taking a few minutes to just be in solitude and silence, everything comes to my mind.  Have you tried it?  If not - do so!  You aren't 'religious'?  No problem.  Just try to sit still and clear your mind for five minutes and not think about anything.  Don't do anything.  Just sit and be still.  Ok, maybe we should start with a minute for you.  You will probably find it is difficult to do it.  I know I have.  So that is going to be my goal every morning.  I'm trying for 10 minutes each morning to just sit and be still.  Of course I am wanting the Presence of God to be with me, so I have a goal with this.  I want His Peace that passes all understanding.  I know that by doing this, He will work in me His good work.  And I desire that above all else.   And if you dare, finish your solitude and silence by saying the Lord's Prayer.  You know it.

"Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name.  Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.  Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.  Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.  For Thine is the kingdom, the power, and the glory, for ever and ever.  Amen."

Blessings!

Well, I did it!

 I got our airline tickets scheduled last night for our trip to the midwest in September.  I finally heard from the nephew who is wanting me to officiate his wedding on the specific date they had chosen.  Once I got it, I started looking onlline.  I had credit from a couple years ago right when COVID hit and had to cancel our trip.  It's been since 2013 that we have been back there.  I got a bit carried away, I'm afriad, and we will be gone a bit longer than originally planned.  With working from home, I wasn't worried about being away from the office.  I can take my work computer with me and have a couple work days so that I don't come back to a couple hundred emails and save some hours of vacation time.  I think I have about 107 hours built up but am not sure.  We also have to subtract our holiday hours from that total so we have Labor Day I need to make sure I'm coverd for.  

I wanted us to arrive a couple days prior to the wedding, although it is going to be at the brother-in-law's house (it's his grandson).  Since they chose a Saturday, I know we will be spending that specific weekend with them.  I also want to do an overnight to Brown County during the week with my sister - just the two of us - to get away.  And, I want to spend a weekend at my older brother's place since his wife is also still working during the week.  So that is two weekends we will be there.... and with the other days makes it 13 days we will be gone.  In between the weekends I need to spend time with an older sister and a younger brother.  Never have we gone for vacation that long!  But, we haven't been back since 2013 and I have siblings not in the best of health.  This may be the last time I will see them alive (or them me!) so I want to make sure I connect with all of them, even for just a short while.

I was able to grab non-stop flights - thank goodness - both ways and since then I have been going over and over in my mind what the scheduling may be.  I told hubby last night that I want to write down all that I want us to do, then will sit down with him and discuss his wants before I contact the people to see if we can fit into their schedule.  I wasn't going to rent a car because I know my brother has 'my' car that he has already said that I can use while there.  BUT, I don't plan to get out to see them until the second weekend, so I'm thinking we may rent a car.  I know, added expense, but it will be more convenient and less stress... cause my brother says that only I can drive my car... and hubby sure didn't like that when we were there last time!  

So the time is set 'in stone' at this time as I purchased the airline tickets with the credit I had from 2020 when we were going to go back and do the mini marathon with the youngest son,  I kept digging around for the cheapest rates - and finally ended up only having to pay $28 more to cover the tickets.  THAT made me happy.  BUT.... with adding extra days because of the extra weekend, means we will have to pay $$ for Sheeba to be at the doggie resort.  Hubby was grumbling about that.  I finally told him I'd help pay for it..... but he sure didn't offer to help with tickets when I bought them!  Regardless, I'm glad that is off my mind for now.  I'll let my boss know what I'm doing.  I will identify a couple days that I'll work while there (even with the 3 hour difference, I can do that)... I don't have much to do personally, but will have three bosses by then, I'm sure.  I can schedule their meetings and get things done and save the vacation time..... although I'm hoping that I have enough hours that I don't have to take my work computer with me.  Let them miss me!

All that must have exhausted me for I slept deep last night and didn't wake up until my alarm went off. It is stressful planning a trip to make sure you include everyone!  And throw in we need to make sure we go out and visit hubby's daughter(s).   Yeah, I think I need to check on renting a car.  This trip is going to be expensive - but, at least we won't have hotel bills for between us we have 3 families we can stay with.

Ugh.  Just remembered we need to go get the travel icon put on our drivers license.  We may be ok, I think it is October 15th we have to have it by and we will return October 4th.  But, we will need it at some point so may as well go get it.  Still waiting on a copy of hubby's birth certificate; it got lost in the move is all I can figure out.

AND... lastly, we got 'the' email yesterday, just as I suspected we would.  The COVID 19 vaccine is now mandatory for my company and one must have proof of both vaccines by November 1 or it will be considered 'voluntary termination'.  I'm glad I read between the lines of the emails that were going out and got mine done, but I really didn't want to!  It was figured out that 50% of our company have NOT received the vaccine - imagine that - and the majority are nurses, I'm sure!  We may be having a mass exodus of employees as there are other companies that do not require vaccinations - at least at this time.  But since it is mandatory for the flu vaccine, I knew this wasn't far behind. 

I was reading in my Bible this morning about the tribulations to come before Jesus returns.  We've heard for some time that the 'tribulations have started'.  They are right, I'm sure.  But one thing remains true.  Regardless of what is going on in the world, as Christians our position is that we are to be ready for Christ's return.  We are not to be caught up in the politics of the world; we are not to be swayed by the world, but remain steadfast until His return.  It sounds easy enough, right?  But it isn't.  What if we were not to get the vaccine?  What if we aren't to be political about some things?  What if?

One thing is certain, we are not to be afraid of the future as children of God.  We have to stand firm on the promises of God, remain faithful in all things.  We are to be watchful of the enemy's schemes.  Oh but that devil is devious and sneaky, isn't he!  

Keep your eyes on Jesus, for He alone is the author and perfector of our faith.  The Bible says so, and I believe it.  You should too.

Blessings!

Restless night, I think....

 Not sure what it was last night.  We did go to bed about a half hour earlier than lately, I think, but I woke up at 1:55AM.  I got up for a few minutes and it sounded like I heard water running.  Which of course reminded me of the times hubby left the water running in the sink at the other house (with the sink plugged, of course) and water running in to the other bathroom - which was mine.  But it wasn't that.  I remembered that I saw a post that my son was going to go wash his car and had made the comment about it raining for 3 days the last time he washed his car.  So I thought, well, maybe it is rain.  I went back to bed but could not go back to sleep.  I was tossing and turning and finally got up at 3AM and came in here.  I left the light off and tried to sleep, and may have succeeded a bit, but I could hear what sounded like rain pouring down outside my window.  This went on for over a half hour and I was thinking "wow, we are really getting a good rain.  Son was right - he washed his car and it pours!"  Then about 3:30-ish -it shut off.  Just like that.  I guess it was the sprinklers in the courtyard.  But it sounded like a downpour so when hubby brought my coffee in a little after 4AM, I suggested he check outside when it got light to see how much water was in the courtyard - and where was it.  And I also wonder if that is what I heard at 1:55AM thinking it was rain!  Actually, yesterday I had noticed the tree in the corner is turning yellow, as though it has been overwatered, and I wondered about it then.  I'm more concerned if a sprinkler head is broken for it sounded as though it must have been shooting up in the air and then splatting down on the table and chairs.  

So, yeah, I am tired this morning and did try to go back to sleep in my chair earlier, but could not.  For some reason my mind is all over the place.  I am pretty sure I will be ready to sneak in a short nap this afternoon.

Hubby has breakfast with a friend this morning and then goes to have blood drawn for a test, I think.  He's having a test done tomorrow morning for which he must fast.  I've been told I can not talk about it. He was really cranky last night and at dinner he was really rude.  He is a worry wort and gets angry with me because I make it a point not to worry.  Now that doesn't mean I'm not concerned about things, but I choose not to let things - ok, sometimes they do, but I choose not to let things consume me.  Perhpas it is because some of the things he worries about is not about me.  Of course most of the things he worries about is me... but there is no foundation, no basis, for his worry.  He was upset I wasn't verbalizing more that I was worried... so I finally told him that God says to not worry, He's got it!!  No matter what it is, no matter what is happening or what is going on, he or I or anyone else worrying about it is going to change the outcome.  I choose to put things in God's hands and trust Him to bring the right outcome.  If the fear comes true, God still has it.  If not, then why waste all that time and energy on worry?  Where is the trust that God is in control of ALL things?  And when things come back 'ok' or 'normal' I have to remind him all the things he put himself (and me) though because he kept worrying about what result would come back.

All these things were replaying in my mind as I tried to go back to sleep and I would pray and ask myself if I am right..... lack of worry does not mean a lack of concern.    What do you think?  

I also had my middle child on my mind.  Just before I went to bed he had text'd for me to call him this morning after 8AM when I could talk.  It is such an unusual request that I played that in my mind too - what could he be calling about.  I read his blog and he hasn't been feeling good... is he wanting his former doctor's telephone number?  I don't think that doctor is taking 'new' patients anymore... and he hasn't been to him in years.  The dad doctor has retired, which is why I am looking for a doctor.  The son didn't want me as a patient as he could only take so many and seems he was taking only the older, sicker ones his dad had cared for.  Is it about going to lunch soon?   He had mentioned that earlier because I had forgotten to take him something on Saturday.  Could it be hubby sent him a text?  I think that part has me the most concerned about.... hubby always feels if I get to spend time with one of my children and he isn't asked.  Yeah, we had that discussion last night too.  So you see, I had several things playing on my mind and they were not allowing me to go back to sleep.  I wonder if I had actualy gotten up and stayed up if I could have fallen back to sleep in my chair.  Perhaps - or perhaps not.  I'm awake now, anyway.  ADDENDUM:  It was about lunch on Saturday. :-)

Matthew 6:25-27 , 34 (NIV)  "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?  Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.  Are you not much more valuable than they?  Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? ........Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own."

I must say that at times I do 'worry' about my children because I love them.  I care about what is going on in their lives and I only want what is best for them.  That is the reason I pray for them.  I want all that God has for them to come about in their lives.  Unfortunately, what I desire and what they get isn't always the same, but that comes from choices.  I cannot make their choices for them (nor they mine!) and I let them live their own lives.  I believe at some point they will realize how much they are loved by God (and by their mother) and they will choose to follow Him.  Little by little they will allow Him to take over.  It won't happen overnight.  I'm believing that before I die, all three of my children will personally know the Lord.

I hear thunder!  Perhaps it WAS rain earlier  - I mean, I definitely know it was the sprinkler shutting off when I was sitting in here, but it could have been raining ealier.   Thanks for washing the car, son... we do need the rain!

I still have time for some solitude this morning and I'm running out of things to ramble about.  Hope you have an amazing day!

Blessings!

Solitude and Silence.... yeah... I need it, and so do you.

I read a bit more in my book thismorning on Solitude and Silence.  And I took the time to do it for about 1/2 hour, it looks like.  And you know what... it felt/feels great!  I put away my books and just sat here and quietly meditated on Jesus; on the things I read this morning in my Bible, what I read in my book.  I prayed some words... and in the quietness of the morning, the solitude of being alone... it felt good.  I could stay here in this place.

Church online yesterday was good.  We watched CCV online and they are doing 'at the movies' still - and I love the movie they spoke on yesterday.  It is a favorite of mine, one that I have watched many times.  'Rudy'.  And what did they pull from 'Rudy'?  Perservance.    Keep going after the dream.  I loved seeing the clips they showed again, and yes, I cried once again when the ND football team put Rudy upon their shoulders.  That hasn't been done since 1975.  I'm sure Rudy made a difference in many lives that he touched while he was there.  Can you even imagine an entire ND team giving up their jersey for the last game so that this one man, Rudy, could run out of the tunnel.  If you haven't watched it, I would encourage you to do it.  The REAL Rudy is now a motivational speaker I heard.  What determination and perservence.  James talked about it in his book.....

James 2-4:  "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, when you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perservnace. Let perservance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

As we all know, facing trials of many kinds do not usually bring us joy.  Not even a little bit.  Sometimes it is sickness that brings us a trial.  Sometimes it is the limitations of our body.  Sometimes it is people in our lives.  Sometimes the trial is financial hardship.  There are different kinds of trials and struggles. And every one of us may deal with it differently.  But one thing I do know, is that when I lean into Jesus and put my struggle out there and talk with Him about it, for some unknown reason, I feel like I'm not alone, that I know that He understands, and He is walking me through it.

It's one of those 'This too shall pass" moments.  We struggle for awhile, but how we come out on the other side is up to us.  What do we learn from our mistake - if that is what caused the trial.  What people do we need to eliminate from association if they are the ones who create our trial?  Even more personal - what changes in our lifestyle do we need to give up that creates that hardship, that trial, for our bodies? Some things we have no control over, for sure, such as disease.  As tough as we think we are, that we can get through things without sharing it, we really aren't.  Sometimes suspicions come true.... don't be so proud that you don't share what is going on in your life.   Ask for prayer... it never hurts.

It's Monday morning and we're back at work.  But I do have something to look forward to... we have scheduled a few days out of town next month.  I may have already shared that.... I originally had said we shouldn't go... but... it would be nice to get out of these four walls for a few days.  So it is scheduled and right now I plan to take my laptop with me so that I can continue writing.  I may bore you, but it is a balm of sorts for me.  I can share my real feelings about things, I can be angry and get it out (and seeing it in print sometimes causes me to erase it cause I don't want to be like that), I can share my joy and excitement about things.  This blog allows me to do that, and even though they are my thoughts, I often hope that some of the things I share will touch your heart and help you look at life differently.  Better.

My boss will be in an all day meeting today so I will have another day without much to do.  Unless she worked this weekend and sent me meetings to schedule.  I rarely check work stuff on the weekends, unless I am behind.  It's been over a year since I had to do that.  Today may be another quiet day.  And that isn't such a bad thing... except it seems to be the norm pretty much anymore.  I know that once I get my two new bosses, I will be getting overwhelmed again.   How much longer can I manage it?  How much longer will I have to?  I don't know.  

I love having a little extra that I can go to the grocery store and not total up my bill as I go along.  Yeah, I've had to do that before.  I would know how much I could spend and would choose things that would get us through, adding that total in until I was close to what I could spend.  I'm sure some of you have done that before too.  My sister has told the story of going to the grocery and picking up all kinds of food and putting in her cart until it was full.... then she would go back through the store putting things back... until she had what she could only afford to get.  I never did THAT, but I have had to watch it very closely.  I remember being 'allowed' (many, many years ago) only $5.00 to spend on food a week, money was so tight.  But food was also much less expensive.  I could buy a bag of potatoes, a gallon of milk, and pork steaks and lamb chops...not so much ground beef, that I recall.  But that was when I learned to make a lot of things from scratch.  And I discovered my love of cooking.  I don't do much cooking anymore, and that makes me sad.  I'd love to be able to cook big meals whenever I wanted to.  I love the taste of noodles made from scratch, or flour tortillas, and of course cookies and cakes!  I love food...what can I say?!

Think I will stop, and take a bit more time, just to sit.  So I'm going to stop for today and turn this off, turn off my light, and sit in the semi darkness (cause it is getting light outside) and be silent for a few minutes before I must get up and get in the shower and prepare for my day.  Just 5-10 more minutes to just 'be'.  When was the last time you shut everything down, sat back in your chair, and allowed yourself to 'rest' for just a few moments.  Let your mind wander over the mountains, over the beaches, over the things you love.  

Which reminds me, I had one thing for my son that I meant to take to him yesterday along with the potato salad ... and I forgot it.  Maybe I can get it to him soon.  I've even thought of mailing it to him.  He may - or may not - feel about it the same way.  Now I know I have him curious a bit.  Good.  Maybe I can take a break sometime this week and drive over to drop it off.  Will see.

Hope that you have a great Monday.... a new beginning... a new day.  What will you make of it?  Got any perservance in you?

Go for it!

Blessings!

Do we even know what we want?

 This pandemic has wreaked havoc on our church life.  I know it has for several people, but because it is just us, I can understand how it affects others like us.  What do I mean?  

I love to go to church.  I really do.  I love the socialization, the interaction, the lessons from the Bible we hear.  And, yes, I love watching it on the screen as well.  In fact, with watching it on the screen, I can "go to" church at several different places, if I choose.  Hubby had 'mentioned' earlier in the week what we ought to do this weekend for church.... and I had let him take the lead.  We were going to attend this one church that we have watched several times, one that two friends have recommended and said that the Spirit flows there.  We just don't 'feel it' when watching it online.  When I finally admitted it to one of my friends that it felt combogulated (sp - sound it out!) to me, she assured me that it was just that it was online, that if I came in person, I would feel the way they feel.  Maybe so.  That's why hubby agreed to go there....just in case we were missing something with watching it online.   We had the 'talk' that we would go this morning. We had already checked out another church online this past week, one that is just down the road from us. I find it interesting that hubby doesn't want to go there because they have no small groups, nothing that would be a draw for him (or for me, really.).  Oh...and that all the people in the photos of the church activities were OLD.  No, I didn't remind him that we ARE old... but we do agree that we'd like to find a place with people a bit younger and older so that there is a lot of interaction.

So last night, just as the last movie we watched ended, hubby tells me, "before we go to bed, I want to talk with you about something".  He goes to put some snack dishes in the kitchen and in the meantime I am pondering what did I do now that I am going to get a lecture on.  (Yeah, I get those ever so often)  He comes in the front room, sits down, and says "I don't want to go to xxxx xxxxx church on Sunday.  I know they say that we will like it if we go in person, but I'm just not feeling it.  I also don't want to go to xxxxxxxx because as we discussed, even though we also know people there, and there are things to do, it will be too easy to fall into the rut".  He said a few more things and I sat and listened.  Then I told him that I agreed; I was not 'feeling it' to go to this one church (I had actually been surprised he had mentioned going after watching the services several times, neither of us felt connected.  Neither of us had experienced the presence of God in the room as we do when we watch Jentezen Franklin at times.)  I don't want to go to church for our friends.... I want to go to church to learn more about Jesus and about how to live in this world.  Life is hard, and I need help.  

We both agree that we like this one church that we have attended in the past - in person - and last week we had watched it online even though they are doing 'at the movies'.  It was a really good message, one that could be applied to our lives.  The Bible study hubby attends on Wednesday mornings has guys who go there and they discuss the message briefly before the study starts.  This church is really big with several campuses in this state.  But it has small groups in which you can plug into during the week and get that community touch.  That personal touch.  Hubby mentioned he wanted to go there.  Fine with me; I like the worship, I enjoy the services, we can attend on Saturday nights and have our Sundays free, we can find a small group (there are several within a 5 mile radius of our house) for whatever night we choose. Sounds like a win-win.  So this morning it sounds like we will watch Jentezen Franklin first, then will watch this other church.  We can start attending next Saturday evening in person.

I'm reading a new book on Solitude and Silence.  I know I've mentioned here before how much I love the silence of the morning and the solitude I have with Jesus.  I love getting off by myself and letting go of everything that troubles me, and letting God take it on.  I haven't gotten very far into the book yet but have already discovered something that makes sense to me.  And I bet it will to you as well.

".....you are like a jar of river water all shaken up.  What you need is to sit still long enough that the sediment can settle and the water can become clear."  "I could not avoid the realization that I was the jar of river water all shaken up and the sediment that swirled inside the jar was the busyness, the emotions, the thoughts, the inner wrestlings I had not been able to control."

Stop.  Sit back.  Read that again.  Do you feel the swirling within in of all that you have going on, the dreams you have, the things you want to get done even yet today, the things that need to be done next week, next month, sometime in the future.... do you feel/see the sediment that is swirling all around you?

B-R-E-A-T-H-E.  Take a deep breath - and blow it out.  Do it again.  And one more time.  As this realization of your life takes hold in your mind, the busyness of life itself, blow it out and breathe in fresh new air and a relaxation of the tension, the sediment that keeps you moving.  Let it all go. 

If there is one things I have discovered in my relationship with Jesus, is that He alone is my Hope.  He is my Breath of Fresh Air.  Jesus is my Nail in a Sure Place.  Jesus is my Peace.   I can come to Him anytime, anywhere, and tell Him all my struggles.... and as He takes them from me, He gives me His Peace.  I take my hands off; and I know He watches over me.

He watches over you as well, and Jesus is ready and willing to clear out that sediment in your life.  All that swirling stuff that is in your life, He alone can calm your spirit, and give you peace.  Trust Him in this.  Sit back and tell Him what's going on in your life - the good and the bad.  He knows it already anyway, but speak it.  Give Him permission to intervene in your life to make it better.  Give Him control.  You will never regret it.

Clear out that jar of river water and get that sediment out.... you will never regret letting Jesus do the cleaning.

Blessings!

Saturday cleaning....maybe....

 I told hubby yesterday that today I was going to get the kitchen floor swept and mopped and I wanted the sweeper ran too.  He immediately 'reared up' and asked "What's with the I"?  I just responded back that it had been almost 3 weeks since the house was cleaned; he had told me LAST week that he would run the sweeper and clean the floor - and did not.  So THIS week I was going to do it.  (He usually will NOT let me clean the house as that is HIS job, and if I do it, then he knows he didn't do his job)  He didn't like my words at all and said that HE would be cleaning this morning.  Will see... I imagine I'll have to get things out before it will actualy happen.  The sad part is that I don't mind cleaning.... and it is one thing we have always fought about.  He SAYS he should do it becuase I work and he doesn't (well, he doesn't spell it that clear, but just says that I work).  I don't care WHO does the cleaning.... Ijust want a clean house.  He will let me clean this back room where I work, and also my bathroom, but other than that, he insists on doing it.  Just do the floors and I'll be happy!  Sheeba is in major shedding mode and when you see gobs of hair everywhere I find it disgusting.

Yesterday was a quiet day; I commented to hubby late morning that I was going to do a lunch run to Michaels to pick up a specific color of yarn I needed to finish some projects and he told me he'd take me there and to Bush's chicken for lunch, as it is right there in front of Michael's.  So I said yes, and of course we had to eat first.  Chicken isn't bad, but the fried okra is really good.   We walked to Michaels and got the yarn, then I mentioned that while we were in the area, I probably should stop at JoAnn's and check out some material I was wanting to get for a quilt.  So then we went there and easily found what I was looking for (and it was 50% off!) and back home we came.  With not having much to do after moving the meetings I needed to for my boss, I did crochet for part of the day, sitting in front of my computer.  I even took a 45 minute nap mid-afternoon!  Talk about a l-o-n-g day without any boss and any work to do!

My plan for this morning is to make up some potato salad.  No real reason other than I have a 5 pound bag of potatoes that have been sitting in the cupboard for a week and I need to use them up.  If I get it done, I'll send a text to my chidlren to see if anyone is interested in some.... 5 lb potato salad is too much for us.  Otherwise I may save a couple for baking and fry up some too... even if I do say so myself, I DO make good fried potatoes.... crispy and yummy.  I haven't made any ... well, I guess I could say in a couple years.... stupid diets don't allow fried potatoes.  The diets say fried foods are not our friend.  I don't know why they say that... my fried food sticks to me as close as a brother!  Ok - that was very poor, wasn't it!  You know where that line is found, don't you, that I was referring to? 

Proverbs 18:24 "A man who has friends must himself be friendly, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother."    That version is from the NKJV, but other versions may say it differently, such as:  (NIV) "One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother."  (NLT) "There are "friends" who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother."  (TPT) "Some friendships don't last for long, but there is one loving friend who is joined to your heart closer than any other."  I think I like the TPT version best.    

I feel that most of us have that one friend that we know will always be there for us.  I have several friends, and some I know that I could call on at any time and they would be right there to 'pick me up' if I asked.  Other friends know me so well that I don't even have to call them, we are so intuned that they may contact me to check in.  I must admit, though, that these past 18 months have played havoc on friendships because of the isolation.  Have you found that as well?  I know one friend who has stuck with me through thick and thin, in good times and bad, and that is my friend Jesus.  He is the One who always knows when I'm stuggling, when I'm down, when I'm lonely, when I need someone.  And He is always there when I need Him.  Have you found that in your life too?  He's there, you know, even when you don't call out to Him.  

Jesus is the friend that doesn't push himself on you nor take advantage of your friendship.  He is patient and kind, and so compassionate!  He loves us beyond all reasoning, and when we fall flat on our faces, He is the One who is always first to pick up us.  I love that about Him.  When I am at my worst, He still loves me and wants to be with me.  And the same for you.  No matter how bad you think you are, that no one could forgive you, no one could love you, Jesus does.

And He is enough.  In spite of all my grumbling and words, in spite of me, He still loves me.  That's why I love my early mornings with Him so much.  It's just me and Jesus, and He listens to me, and when I shut up long enough, I can hear Him speaking back.  I just need to be quiet. 

Sit back in your chair, have a little talk with Jesus this morning.  Then shut up, and wait.  In a small quiet voice, you will hear Him.  Your day is complete.

Blessings

I should have known.....

 I had a sleepless night.  We went to bed around 9PM-ish.... and my mind was wide awake.  Not sure why unless it was 1) I slept good the night before; 2) I had green tea late afternoon, which I rarely do.  Whatever it was keeping me awake, the last time I looked at the clock was 10:40PM and I was still wide awake.  Hubby was immediately snoring once we went to bed; He always has to be 'touching' me and his hand was on my neck for awhile and I had to move it cause the weight of it made me feel I couldn't move.  He moved it to my head... and I had already taken an aspirin because I had a headache.  That didn't help any.  I finally moved out of his range.  If he had been awake he would have commented loudly; but he was asleep so other than grunting, he didn't speak.

So what was keeping me awake?  I don't know.  Could be a lot of things.  As mentioned above, it could be I got deep sleep the night before.  It could be too much caffeine in the late afternoon.  It could be I didn't exert myself in the afternoon enough to make my body tired.  Sitting all day and all evening doesn't move the body.  It could be God was keeping me awake to talk with me.  (If it was, I did all the talking!)  Or it could be hubby and I had a discussion earlier after dinner and I spoke my piece and he didn't like it.   A lot of things kept going through my mind and would not settle down.  Whatever it was, when I did get to sleep, I didn't want to get up this morning.

And I have a fun time scheduled for today!  I remembered it last night - I'm meeting my boss and a friend for lunch today at a location between my home and the far office!  My thought earlier in the week was that I'd just not go, I'd cancel.  I was heavily burdened about something and working my way through it and just felt like I wouldn't be 'fun' to be with.  But I'm past that now and am ready to meet my friends and enjoy a nice visit.  And, being with my boss, I don't have to worry about getting back to work on time as she won't be either.  It will be a 30-40 minute drive just to the restaurant for all of us.  I am getting more and more ready to get out in the world again.

Have you ever had a situation where you ask God, and you don't get an answer?  So what do you do?  Do you keep waiting (sometimes you should) or do you just barge on ahead with what you want to do?  Something to think about.

BOO!  5:30AM and I get a text from my boss that she is calling in sick today.  Which means no lunch meeting either.  I will need to jump on the computer right away and start moving her meetings.  I'm glad that on Friday afternoons I generally block her so that she can wind down the week and not have meetings.  But I do have the morning meetings I need to move as well as our lunch.  I'm disappointed, but it is what it is.  At least it isn't her that is sick; her son-in-law was taken to the hospital last night so they have been at their daughter's house all night with the grandchild.  He's doing fine; an allergic reaction to something.  But she's exhausted.  Glad she is taking the time off for herself to rest.  Which means my day today is going to be another long day.  Yesterday I had absolutely nothing on my calendar..... and I wasn't given any meetings to schedule.  Today will be the same.  Oh well!  A quiet day before the weekend is always nice.

Each and every day is in God's hands and He knows best for each of us.  I mentioned earlier that I had thought about cancelling out today's lunch...  and now it is.  I struggle sometimes with going some places that I haven't been before....being directionally challenged CAN be a challenge sometimes.  But I knew where this place was and have even been there before.  Maybe it was I just didn't want to "clean up" cause jeans/shorts and a t-shirt is basically my work attire anymore. Oh - and no makeup.  Well, it looks like I get to 'bum' through another day!

My thoughts are jumping all over the place this morning so I'll quit rambling.  Need to get on the work computer and start moving meetings before the day starts.  

Have a good day - enjoy your life.  It's the only one you have at this moment.  Choose wisely.  

Blessings!

Exhausted Rest....I guess I needed it

 I went to bed at 8PM last night.  I had sat there for a good half hour yawning every five minutes or so...and listening to hubby laugh at me occasionally because of it.  I don't know why I felt so tired; could have been the morning rain?  The work of my day? Just life itself?  Yes, it could have been any of those things.  I don't know, but decided rather than sit there and yawn, I would go to bed.  Hubby stayed up, for which I was grateful.  AND, he didn't flip and flop on the bed when he did come to bed (probably after the basketball game that he was watching) like he usually does, so didn't wake me.  I slept sound until about 1:30AM, looked at the clock and decided 'nope, going back to sleep!'  And I did.  

I feel rested this morning, as I should, with having 6 hrs and 44 minutes of sleep.  Now this is interesting.  My Fitbit analyzes my sleep every night.  Monday night I slept 6 hr and 16 minutes and my sleep score was 81.  My sleep last night was 6 hrs 44 minutes and my sleep score is 71.  I think my usual average sleep is 5 hours 55 minutes with a sleep score in the 80's -  it breaks it down into awake hours, REM, light sleep, and deep sleep.  Usually my deep sleep is 1 hour or less.  But I do feel I rested last night, even with a 71 sleep score.  I think hubby says his is usually in the 60's while mine is mostly in the high 70's and 80's.  I guess I just sleep better, as a rule.

Hubby commented yesterday that he is missing his Friday morning study/breakfast with his friends.  He still has Tuesday nights (dinner), Wednesday mornings (breakfast)..... but Fridays have been put on hold since his friend is in Overgaard for the summer.  But he does come down on occasion and they will meet up for breakfast or lunch while he's here.  In fact, I think he was here Tuesday morning and they had breakfast together.  Hubby sure does love eating out.  I'm missing his Friday morning studies too, for I have time alone.  It's really hard being with someone 24x7 - even though I'm stuck in the back room working and he comes by frequently with a question or two.  Yesterday it was things with his computer.  I can't do this, or it won't do that.... and I'd have to go see what he was talking about and show him what to do.  He'll come by and ask again when it doesn't work the way he wants it to.  I realize I work on the computers much more than he has... and he is getting used to two screens (laptop and monitor) whereas I've used two screens for years now.  I think he gets distracted too easily by the 2nd screen.

Obviously I don't have much to share today because I seem to be rambling and looking for things to write about.  I just don't have much of a life anymore.  Today is Thursday and nothing is on the agenda. Do you ever feel that sometimes LIFE is sucked out of you and there is nothing?  

This too shall pass..... my mama always said that.  I think it is more the purpose or the joy in life sometimes gets distorted.  Where is my mind focusing right now?  That must be my problem - it isn't focusing.  It is like I'm running on empty.  I can't think of anything to write about.... so I will close this off before I bore you completely...... with this.....

Let every day be a new beginning.  God's mercies are new every morning. Each day is a fresh start.  Do you believe it?  Will you reach out with faith and receive it?  Let Him wash you with His presence and infuse you with His grace.  This is the day that He has made for you!

Set your heart on Him this morning.  Don't allow your thoughts to drift back to the things that stole your peace, your joy.  Release all the cares of yesterday.  The enemy wants to invade your thoughts and hijack your peace and your joy today.  Don't let him!  Set your heart and thoughts on Jesus.  Let Him be your holy obsession today.  Thoughts of Jesus have a way of wiping away the slimy weight of disappointment.  His glory is alive - ready to hold you near Him.  He is the Lover of your soul, the Healer of your tattered heart.  Look for Him, and you will find Him - in these moments before the busyness of the day steals you away, seek Him.  Face the day in joyful anticipation of what He can and will do through you and those you love.

Psalm 5:3  (TPT)  "At each and every sunrise you will hear my voice as I prepare my sacrifice of prayer to you.  Every morning I lay out the pieces of my life on the altar and wait for your fire to fall upon my heart."

Let Your fire fall upon us, O Lord, and burn away the chaff.  Create within us a clean heart, one that gives You all the glory.

Blessings!

I hear the sound of thunder....

 and now the rain is pouring down!  We desperately needed a good rain out here; not so much a hard rain, but it would be nice if it would trickle down to a soft, steady rain and allow the rain to soak down into the earth.  The rain now will not soak down, but will create travel difficulties for many.  Especially out here.  And hubby left about 5 minutes ago for his Bible study with his friends.  In the rain. And he's driving.  So what do I do?  I pray for his safety, for the safety of his vehicle, and for the safety of those around him.  It's difficult for the best driver when the rain is coming down like this, let alone those of us who are a bit slower.  

I love the sound of the rain and thunder and wish that I did not have to work today, but stay here in my chair and wrapped up in my blanket and prayer shawl, listen to the sound.  I'd love to turn the light off and just sit in the darkness and listen to what God is doing this morning.  As long as the wind isn't blowing harshly to where I have to fear for damage to the house, I love to just lose myself in the sounds of the rain and thunder.  It is slowing down to a steady rain now, it sounds like.

I am glad I don't have to take Sheeba out for a couple hours yet - she definitely would NOT go out in this!  How do you feel about the rain?  Do you enjoy the thunder (I didn't say anything about lightening.... I only like to watch it from a distance) and rain?  How does it make you feel emotionally, mentally?  Do you ever feel like it is soothing?

We went to the wedding reception last night and it was so good to see our friends there.  When we arrived, several people came rushing to us and hugging us and telling us how much they missed us.  We truly felt loved and the thought came to me....'could we drive the 45 minutes one way to go one day a week?'  But I told myself we broke it off, we need to leave it at that.  I have always felt so loved, albeit somewhat frustrated at times.

I was able to chat with a couple people from our State Association and of course we were asked where we were attending church.  I just told them we were still seeking, but that we would probably end up with this specific one.  I want good Bible teaching; not foo foo preaching.  I want to know how to apply God's Word to my life today.  If my toes get stepped on; so be it.  I want to grow in Christ.   We had a great time speaking with many of the people that came.  The pastor came to me and gave me a big hug and just kept saying 'welcome home', 'welcome home'.  I'm not sure what it is, but he has a special respect for me; in fact, his entire family does.  I may not agree with how they do 'church', but their love and respect is real.

I also found out that another friend there - younger than me, of course.  I think she is like around 62. Anyway... she retired as of last Friday.  I was asked several times last night if I had retired yet.  Of course I had to answer no.  So the question would come, 'when do you plan to retire'?  I always answered 'I don't know'.  I was also asked what would I do if I was retired.  That made me pause for what would flash before my eyes was not much different than it is now.  Of course in my mind I would do volunteer work; I would get a part time job just to be kept busy.  But would I?  Would hubby LET me?  He likes the fact that I work full time - especially now that I'm working from home.  He won't like the reduction in the paycheck, although I calculated out the other day that if he reined in some of his activities we could certainly make it easily enough.  I would have to quit shopping too, though.  Am I ready to stop that?  And yet, I can say yes to that.  I would like to be free to do things during the week.  Extensive traveling would not be on our radar, unfortunately.  I can deal with that.  I'd love to not have to worry about minutes, doing reports, and other things that are required.  Over the past year I have forgotten how to do a lot of things and with two new bosses, I know things will change.  Every one does things differently.  

Hubby made reservations for us to go up north for a few days next month to celebrate our anniversary.  I had told him no before due to him getting a car and having that expense.  But I know the money is in the bank so I didn't protest when he brought it up.  We both desperately need to get away - me from work; him from the heat, he says.  I did suggest we take a couple days and do a mini retreat where we don't go anywhere but just stay in the room and read our Bibles/books and think about what we want to do in the future.  Although our future is reduced from what it was 30 years ago.  I do love my mini-retreats, but usually prefer doing them alone where I can concentrate and focus on God without interruptions.  And usually we go on the day of our anniversary or right after, but this time with out anniversary being on a Saturday, we'll go the Wednesday before.  I have a new boss starting on August 16th and I will need to meet him at the office on that date and hand off the laptop.  I hope he lives on this side of town for I can get his laptop to him before the 16th and maybe NOT have to go into the office.  I'll check with him closer to the date; right now I think he lives in Yuma.

The thunder is now in the far distance, and the rain sounds like it has stopped.  We were just a 'pass-by' I guess.  Hopefully it has cooled the temperatures down some, but even more importantly than that, cleared the air.  Sometimes, especially lately, it feels like we are breathing dirt out here.

Hubby is gone, the rain has stopped, and I hear the birds out making their noises.  Other than the sound of my fingers on the keyboard, it is silent here.  Ah, Sheeba just moved.  But the silence is there.  Thunder in the distance is soft.  I would love to just stay here and be silent before God.  Those are my favorite times, when I am quiet, the world around me is void of sound, and my thoughts are turned to God.

Psalm 46:10  "Be still, and know that I am God."

I hear Him in the thunder; I see Him in the rain.  And I sit, and I am still.  I can hear You now, Lord.  The busyness of my life is not my focus right now.  You are.  I am waiting for You, Lord. Come visit me today.

Blessings.