Hubby came to me yesterday and stated he wanted us to go to the gym at 5:00AM. He had gone to the gym without me (yay!) because I do have to work 7AM-4PM (at least) and he is 'free' most of each day. He found that the gym opens at 5AM and stated he wanted US to start going at 5AM. He tells me I can quit my quiet time early (I generally start at 4AM) and go to the gym with him, then when we come back, I can finish my quiet time. I was troubled. I didn't say yes or no, but knew the pressure was on.
I don't want to give up my quiet time in the mornings like I do it now! I've often said that God is the only one who can stand me this early in the morning. That could very well be a true statement. I'm not a morning person. I get up early so that I can have my quiet time before I go to work. Now that I am currently remote, I still get up at 4AM and just gain 5AM-6:30AM-ish to read or work on a Bible study... and type in here. It's my time for me. I even take naps if I'm still tired.
Which I am very tired his morning because I have been so troubled and trying to figure out how to work my quiet time. I review my mornings. I'm barely awake, even with trying to read my devotionals, at 4:30AM. I'm just getting going ... and then to have to quit ... I just didn't want to. I knew that other things would get in the way of me getting back to the right frame of mind. I have been awake since about 3AM sorting it out in my mind. By the time I got up at 4AM I had somewhat a plan. I would tell hubby I would compromise. I would quit my quiet time at 5:30AM, get dressed, and go to the gym. By the time I got back at 6:30AM, I would have time for a shower and sit at my desk to work. That could work for me. Of course those days I need to go into the office would mean I would have to change things up again if we continued the gym because I need to leave by at least 6AM.
But God did it again for me. He knew I was struggling with giving up my time with Him in the mornings. Or perhaps He knows how much I NEED to have this time with Him. After all, meeting Him in the mornings is what I have been doing for over 30 years. It's a part of my life. I didn't really pray about it.... all I could think of was what to do and not upset hubby. He tends to take some things as rejection and refuses to hear any alternative.
I got up and came into my room this morning and tried to form my thoughts on presenting to hubby about going at 5:30AM instead of me having to stop 45 minutes after I got in here to get ready to go at 5AM. I'm really tired from not sleeping well. THEN I remember he has his men's Bible study this morning - but since he doens't lead it, he doesn't always go. Did he forget with the week being shortened? He comes in and brings my coffee about 4:30AM and I ask if he is going to his Bible study. He says no, that he needs to get blood drawn this morning for one of his doctor's offices. I take a deep breath and just tell him I will compromise with him. I will stop in my quiet time at 5:30AM and get ready to go to the gym, so that when I come back, I can shower and get to work. I won't have to stop and start. I also commented that I didn't want to put God on a timetable.... the early morning is MY time with God, and has been for years. I'm willing to shorten it, but I don't want to stop and start.
His answer surprised me. He says "no, I don't want to take you away from your time with God; I know how important that is for you. We can go right after you get off work and can get a workout in then." Trust me. That was ALL God. If I had tried to compromise last night I would have met resistance. He may have agreed to it, but he would also know that I would bail after a short time of doing it. My energy level in the morning isn't that great. I don't start waking up until at least 5:30AM. Of course once I get my toxic eating under control then I will feel more energetic - but I'm still struggling. So here I am now, cuddled up in my chair wanting to take a nap (from being awake most of the night thinking about this)... but still pondering. I can go after work; I don't have a problem with that. Thanks, God, for watching out for MY good (I need my time with Him in the mornings) and even though I didn't ask, You took care of me.
I bought hubby a new, 'renewed' laptop for our anniversary and it finally arrived yesterday. I'm hoping the 'renewed' part will allow it to last at least a few years. His current PC is so slow it drives me crazy on Sunday mornings when I am trying to bring up one of the preachers we watch. I am so serious - it can be 3-5 minutes before I can get the screen to move. My patience wears thin on Sunday mornings because of it. Hubby wasn't home when I opened the box so I went ahead and turned it on. Dang! It popped right up there! I want to look at it a bit more today and then will give to him as an early anniversary gift. I usually don't spend this much for ANY gift, but this one will be useful and is very needed. AND he can still use the monitor and keyboard/mouse he has. I'll just unhook from the PC and hook into the laptop. My granddaughter told me last night that I bought a 'gaming' computer. I didn't know that; I was just trying to find a cheap one. I know nothing about computers.... this one is an ACER and it had Windows 10. I was just thinking of what he would need. Games are not needed. She assured me that it will still work for hubby.
In my devotional and Bible reading this morning it was all about doing for others and putting self aside. Did that not apply to my issue this morning of going to the gym? I read of it before hubby brought my coffee in (he was late in getting it to me). I kept thinking to myself, do I need to let him have his way and just go to the gym at 5AM like he wants? Should I ask if he would compromise and give me an extra 45 minutes of my quiet time? Was I being selfish (as I should be with my time with God) and thinking of my own need, versus being with him and what he wanted? I am truly grateful to God for taking care of this situation before it burdened me further.
You know, that's what He does. He takes our burdens and even sometimes when we don't specifically ask Him to, He knows every aspect of our lives and what is best for us. He may not always intervene or answer the way we want Him to, but He always has our best interest in mind. Thank you, Father, for loving me so much that You want me to have my time with You.
I read my son's blog before I start mine. He doesn't write every day and that's ok. It's how I hear what is going on in his life since we don't talk to each other very often. I have always tried not to interfere in his life - you know - the mother-in-law interference part. Anyway.... today's blog he wrote at 12:28AM and said he was leaving in 4 hours for North Dakota for a Country Thunder event. Yes, I worry about him and his heavy drinking; I often pray that he would get sick and never touch it again. He wrote something in today's blog that touched my heart. He wrote "RM, pray for me." I immediately sent up prayers for his safety in flying to North Dakota. I will continue to pray for him as the next five days will wreak havoc on his body, his strength, his ability to think clearly. I'm grateful that his friend is going with him so that someone can keep an eye on him. Father, please protect Jeff and my son these next five days while they are away. Things can easily get out of hand. I pray people will get along with each other and not be easily riled. I pray that You will keep them in the palm of Your hand, supply what they need, and help them to make good decisions and not allow the fun of the event to consume them. You know what I'm referring to, Lord, and I ask for travel mercies for them; I ask that You keep them safe; I ask that You control their drinking and give them a sound mind. Thank You, Lord, for I know You will bring them both back home to us. I praise You, Lord, for You always take care of us. Hear my prayers - spoken and unspoken for my son and his friend. Amen.
Have a blessed day.
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