Is it this crazy weather we are having?

 I woke with another dull headache at 3AM this morning.  No, I did not get up and stay up.  I told myself I was going to go back to sleep, but I did not.  Laid there and all kinds of thoughts were going through my head.  I arose before 4AM, but only because I was starting to toss and turn and hubby was still asleep.  I grabbed an excedrin on my way to my room, hoping my headache would go away.  It has not entirely gone away yet, but hopefully will go that way. I do have my coffee so the caffeine should help as well. 

So good to see my oldest son and a grandson yesterday morning.  They happened to be in the area and stopped by for a little bit.  Always good to see them.  Hoping they were able to get their little mission accomplished yesterday. 

Yesterday was a busy day at work and I spent nearly the entire day trying to get these board meetings on the calendar for 2026.  I think it was around 3PM I just sent them out. I was wiped out.  I also got the Prep meetings scheduled; will hold off on the 'review' because I don't think this board needs them.  I may check with my male boss, though, just to make sure.  Come December I may be creating MORE board meetings as if CMS agrees, we will be taking on another board.  That would give me three to manage. Whoo hoo. Doesn't that sound like fun?  But then, I love having a responsibility that is mine.  That responsibility?  Making sure a clean PowerPoint deck is in the folder for that meeting. Making sure minutes are created and inserted in that folder.  Making sure all the invites have been responded to. Making sure we will have a quorum of board members attending (we cancelled August's meeting for one board because we couldn't get enough board members at one time) (that's what happens when you have doctors on the board; they are all very busy!).

It's Tuesday and I'm not sure if my daughter is coming over here or I'm going there.  We had 'fun' last Tuesday when she came over and baked.  I cannot remember when my daughter and I got together to bake. We didn't do it when she was growing up...  probably because I didn't do much baking back then.  I do a lot of baking now because I give it away. Yes, September and October might be a little early to do baking and put in the freezer, but I usually have to bake more throughout November and December because I give it away before the holidays.  I don't care.  My love gift is giving to others and although some of what I make isn't healthy.... it sure is good.  And hubby has taken to the peach muffins - he likes to have one every morning with his coffee he says.  And you know what?  I'll make him peach muffins.  I'll make him strawberry muffins if he wants them.  

At our age, we should enjoy every bite of what we eat and not be concerned about cholesterol or sugar or anything else - right?   He hasn't dropped any more weight, and is eating (trust me, he's eating!), but he isn't gaining weight either.  His kidney doctor appointment is Friday.  That will probably require more tests from THIS doctor to figure out what is going on. But, Dr. Mark has sent this new doctor hubby's blood tests and other reports and his own comments, so we are hoping that it will only require a test or two in order to get an answer as to what is going on within his body.  Still haven't heard from Dr. Mark but think he may be waiting until this doctor examines hubby.  It's hard at time to keep a positive thought process going when hubby is so scared.  Is it lying when I say everything will be ok?  

I Chronicles 17:16 (NIV):  Then King David went in and sat before the Lord, and he said: "Who am I, Lord God, and what is my family, that You have brought me thus far?

I love to read I and II Kings, I and II Chronicles because they tell the stories of the kings in a shorter version.  It's all wrapped up in there.  I love to read I and II Samuel by themselves, as well.  But in this verse, to wrap it up in a bow....  David decided he had a beautiful mansion and felt guilty that the Lord God did not have a mansion.  So David purposed in his heart to build God a mansion, even greater than his own.  He tells Nathan, the prophet, and Nathan tells him to do what his heart tells him to do.  But then.

Nathan leaves and then God visits Nathan and has a talk with him.  So Nathan goes back to King David and tells him that in all the years that God had lived in the tent after leaving Egypt and bringing the people to Israel, the Promised Land, never did God tell any of them to build him a mansion.  And King David could not build the Lord God a mansion either.  BUT, his offspring, his son, Solomon, would build the temple for the Lord God.  David was humbled that God was saying his son would be on the throne after him.  So David went into the place he sat before God and worshipped Him.  And in David's humbleness, he cried out to the Lord... "Who am I, Lord God, and what is my family, that You have brought me thus far?"

Have you ever stopped and asked God, "Who am I, Lord God, and what is my family, that You have brought me thus far?"   Have you ever sat back and looked over your life - the good and the bad - and thanked God for bringing you through those times when you probably should not have come through it? Has He brought you through journeys you never should have taken?  Have you ever paused to thank Him for bringing you to where you are today?

And what about your family?  It doesn't matter if you or your family are successful; are you their example to follow Jesus?  Do they know you love Jesus, even when you make mistakes?  Do they know that you will - even occasionally - stop and send up a prayer for help, because you know you can not do this life alone?  You know people are praying for you - do your children know you are praying for them?  

I get it - sometimes it is hard to open up and make yourself vulnerable, especially when you know people do not believe in God for one reason or another - they are angry, they have been hurt, they didn't get their own way - so they reject God.  But you, you know God. If you are reading this blog, you know that God is Lord of my life.  I may not share openly with others unless I'm in 'like crowd', because, like you, I am a bit shy/awkward and not sure of what to say that I won't have to defend. But when I know I am right, I will stand my ground. (In fact, my older brother and I had this discussion just yesterday and I just told him that if he didn't do something, he would not be going to heaven.  And it isn't the first time we have hit on this topic.)  I'm not judging anyone.  I do my own battles to get my life in line with what I believe.  You can't keep putting off surrendering to Jesus.  One of these days it will be too late and when it is time - you won't have a choice.  You won't have that final second (more than likely) to say "Jesus, forgive me!"  My prayer is that all my loved ones will find Jesus before I pass away.  

So if I live to 103, they have plenty of time, right?  But what if I don't?  My heart is broken over family members who have literally turned their backs on God for various selfish reasons.  Isn't there always two sides to the story?  But the bottom line is, God is, and always was, and always will be - in control. But He also gives us free will to do and to think and to act as we want.  That is why many of us (me included) are such a mess at times.

Oh that all my family would love Jesus and follow Him!  That would be a parent's greatest joy!  So we continue to pray for those who are like lost sheep.  The Shepherd still goes out to find them, and will bring them home, when they are willing to be found.

The Lord has brought us 'thus far'.... are we humbled? Are we grateful?  Are we surrendered?  We never know which sickness, which age, which accident, which problem - will take us from this life.  God has brought us 'thus far'.... where will you go from here?

Blessings!

A bit better, I think...

 I did take a nap yesterday morning as I sat in here, for about an hour, I think. When I finally came out, I fixed a shake to soothe my throat, and it helped. I stayed on the couch most of the day.  And I can't believe I slept even more!  But, as some people say, if you don't feel good, let your body rest, and sleep, for then it is healing.  I had a dull headache when I woke this morning but I think that is because I slept so sound and deep last night. I didn't think I could sleep with all the sleeping I did yesterday - but I did. I awoke at 3AM, told myself to go back to sleep, and did, for another hour.  Hubby has brought my coffee in and my head is feeling better.

I'm having to cut my time short this morning as I have a 7:10AM appointment down at the imaging place for the annual 'squeeze'.  Such (cough) fun.  I need to make sure I wash all the deodorant and lotions off my upper body so that they can get good pictures and I don't have to come back.  I believe I'm the first one so I should be able to get in and get done quickly.  I am working today, afterall.  I really want to take a shower and wash my hair, but will wait until I get back home.  Don't want to go out with a 'wet head'.

I spent most of yesterday on the couch, dozing, or reading.  We did watch a couple movies last night and even then we went to bed at 8PM.  Twenty years ago I would never have thought I would be going to bed so early - and WANT to go to bed early.  I guess 'getting older' plays a large portion of it.  I do get up at 4AM as a rule, so in reality, I'm still not getting 8 hours of sleep.  It just 'sounds' like I'm getting a lot of sleep.  Do I like getting up at 4AM?  No, not really.  But if I want to have quality time with God - alone - and time to write in here before work, I need to.

I'm 'rearranging things once again on what I do in here in the mornings.  I need to spend less time writing to God and spend more time talking to Him.  Does that make sense?  Many times it is so easy to stay curled up in my chair, wrapped in my blanket, and write out my prayers... but in reality, I feel so much closer to God when I get on my knees and talk with Him.  Even those times when I can't get on my knees, just opening my mouth and talking with Him like He is sitting across from me - there is such a good feeling, that I can not even describe it.  If you talk with Jesus, you know what I'm talking about.  You get it. Writing prayers is one thing; verbalizing is another.  I like to track things I write because I love to write how God answered that prayer.  I need to put together a prayer book like I want, and one that will be useful to me.  Not a journal, but one in which I can write down prayer thoughts and then eventually, the answers.  Yes, I know there are numerous prayer books out there; I just haven't found the one that I will use.  And now you can't even find a Christian book store to go into to browse - and I am sad about that. I loved to go and flip through books and see special gifts.  I miss Family Christian Stores.

My youngest sent me videos this morning of his Navajo friends getting the prayer shawl and the blanket I made for them.  They were so sweet.  I am glad they liked them.  I don't think I'm that good at making things, but I love to make them and give them away.  Which reminds me, next Saturday is 'Needles of Hope'.  I don't have many blankets to take this time - I think I took nearly 30 last month.  They are asking for prayer shawls, but I don't know that many patterns and so I let the others make them.  Mine are fairly plain, still effective, but plain.  One of these days I will actually go and pay a shop to teach me how to do some things.  

I find it interesting that after Dr. Mark gave me a clean bill of health, I started having all these 'health issues' - minor things like the sore throat, headaches, etc. - could it be that God is just keeping me humble?  LOL  I shouldn't have 'bragged' (and I tried not to) that Dr. Mark said I was healthy.  But I have strived to be healthy and it felt good to actually have a doctor do tests and come back and tell me I was ok!  I'm in God's hands.  If He allows sickness to come upon me, He will also walk me through it. 

John 3:20-21 (NIV):  Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear their deeds will be exposed. But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light , so that it may be seen plainly that what they have done has been done in the sight of God.

You may laugh at this, but in honesty, I sometimes want to do something 'mean' - and then I remember that God will hear and will see everything I do - and then I ask myself the question, "Do you want God to see that?" and then it's a big empathic 'NO' - so I can't do it.  You find yourself wanting to say things that you shouldn't say.... and your tongue feels like it is a washboard because you have bit down on it a few times - but when we withhold words that shouldn't be said, restrain ourselves from doing things we should do, we are being true to who we really are.  We really are not bad and evil people.  Think about that. When was the last time you withheld words or actions that you really wanted to do or say?  

Stay in the Light.

And it is a good thing when we let God have His way with us.  People who do evil things, say evil things, are always uncomfortable when they are around people who have higher values than they do.  Doesn't mean they are 'better' than anyone, it's just they hold themselves to a higher standard.  Evil people are just out to hurt people because they are hurting.  You know the saying, "Hurting people hurt people" - we've all heard it; we've all be the brunt of it; we've all done it, in one form or another.

But let us throw off the old self and lean into the NEW self that we are in Christ Jesus.  We can do all things through Him who gives us strength.  Always remember that.

And now, I need to jump off and get dressed to head down the street. Luckily it is only a few miles away.  Hope that you have a day that you can share with others the good things God is doing in you and in your life.

Blessings!

Not feeling well....

 Not sure what is going on with my body this morning.  Felt like I tossed and turned a lot during the night - and this morning my throat was sore.  I didn't feel like going to church, but was going to wait and see if I could 'get over it'.  Then hubby comes in with my coffee and tells me he is not going tis morning as he just wanted more 'he and God' time.  So I then told him about my sore throat and he has been checking on me ever since.  I got up from my chair a bit ago and took some olive leaf extract - as you know I recommend it to everyone who isn't feeling well - and it does work.  I took two capsules, fixed a slice of toast, and grabbed a throat soother.  It has helped some.  I'm either hot and sweaty, or cool and sweaty.  In fact, after I finish this, I think I will take a nap - and it isn't even 8AM yet.  I just feel blah - which is totally unlike me.  I baked some yesterday and did visit Ms. Vicky, but other than that, I don't think I have been anywhere or around anyone. Hubby has, but I haven't.  Maybe I am just getting run down with the 'stress' of everything.  Although I didn't think I was stressing about it... but maybe internally I was?  I do not know.

With not feeling well, I have nothing on the agenda for today.  No baking, no cooking.  I fixed enough Texas chili last night that it will be heated up and we will have it for lunch.  Probably dinner as well, there is that much left from last night.  I may find another book to read, or I may sleep all afternoon.

I did finish The Final Hour last night.  And then I checked my Kindle.  LOL  Looks like that is where I read it from before, although I didn't remember it.  I did like the book, and gave it 5 stars cause it kept my interest enough that I read it in two days.  The ending was 'ok' - I think it needed one more chapter in between the next to the last and the last one, but 'it is what it is'.  But it does make one think - if a person (knowing or unknowing to you) had only one hour left to live.... what would you tell that that was the most important thing to you?  

Would you make sure that they knew Jesus and had accepted Him as Lord so that they would go to heaven?  Or would you just tell them you loved them and sit back and wait until the 'final hour'?  And let them go to hell?  Are YOU ready for that 'final hour' that you never know when it will be?  It will be interesting how hubby reacts when he reads it, based on his current diagnoses.  Yes, he is a Christian, and yes, he has accepted Jesus as Lord.  We all interpret that differently, because we are all given free will and a mind to make our own decisions.  I know people will disagree with me, but I know the truth.  Anyway, at 88, and with these diagnoses, he knows his time is drawing to an end.  It is hard to even write those words.  I don't want him to die.... and definitely do not want him to go in pain.  Last night, out of the blue, he asked me "will they make me go on dialysis?"  I wasn't sure how to answer, but finally said that if his kidneys started to fail, then possibly in a few years he may need to.  I don't know exactly what is going on with his liver or his kidneys so did not know what to say.

My youngest just called and said they were leaving Lafayette.  Heading to Nashville today.  Praying for travel mercies for them.

And, since I'm not feeling well, I'm going to close this off.  I'm going to take a short nap and see if I will get to feeling better.

Hope you are doing well - and are following Jesus.

Blessings!

Saturday laziness

 I started reading a 'new' book last night, written by a friend.  It's call THE FINAL HOUR by Andy Lovenduski.   As I read it, I kept thinking, I've read this book before!  I tried to remember if Andy had given me chapters to read before he published it (it shows published on 9-10-2025 on the cover) or how did I get it and how do I remember it?  I have puzzled about it - and then I realized this morning - I bought it months ago when it came out as an e-book on Kindle.  I read through 14 of the 24 chapters last night (yes, it is that good) before going to bed.  I will finish it this morning, once I fix breakfast and figure out what I'm doing today (which is basically nothing) other than baking.

Yes, it is thundering outside; it rained yesterday, and I think I already hear it raining this morning - so it means it is a baking day.  I made peach muffins for hubby last night (he has informed me that he likes them with his coffee in the mornings) and I may make strawberry bread today. But I do want to clean out the freezer before I do any more baking - it's pretty full and I need to figure out what I have in there.   

Mmm just happened to remember I laid out ribs the other day - and although I won't go outside and use my new grill (for the first time) because of the rain and because it's electric, which means it plugs in ... don't want water to get in the wrong place - I bought a new crockpot the other day (which is a hoot when hubby saw it) that I am thinking I will use to cook them in.  What was the hoot?  When I opened the box form Amazon, hubby asked what I got (as he has gotten prone to do). Sometimes I can just answer 'Christmas' and he leaves me alone.  But this time I just told him 'a crockpot'.  He asks, "Don't you have two or three crockpots already?"  And I responded "Actually, I think I have 4 or 5, but I don't have one like this one!"  I'm sure he rolled his eyes, but I walked away before I could see it.  This one IS different; it is long and flat, versus the ones that are round or oval and high.  Anyway, going to try cooking ribs in it today.  They need to cook on low about 8 hours so it will be perfect come dinner time.

My oldest son is heading south this morning to visit his daughter and granddaughters.  My youngest son is heading to Wisconsin today from Minnesota to have breakfast with his wife's relatives and then heading on to their next stop. I forget where that is - he didn't call me (yet) this morning to let me know where they are gong.  He's been pretty good about calling me at least once a day to update me on where they are.  I like that touchbase.  No idea what's going on with the daughter today; I know she had one of the granddaughters yesterday, and may still have her.  

I want to bake, but there is so much other things that I NEED to do this morning. I really need to break down the Amazon boxes for recycle.  I really need to clear off the bed in here.  I really need to straighten bookcases. I really need to..... yes, there are a lot of things I really need to do.  But what will I end up doing?  I have no idea.  First thing will be to cook breakfast.  Hubby frequently reminds me that Saturday mornings (unless I have something going on) I always cook breakfast on Saturdays.  Whatever.  I plan to cook my potato, eggs, jalapenos, onions, green peppers, and whatever else I decide to throw in it - dish.  I don't always put green peppers in it, but since I have some, I guess I'll use them. I WANT to make up a grocery list, but don't want to go to the grocery store.  Not much I need to get, but replenish my spices and flour/sugar, etc.  I have enough to bake a few more batches of anything, that's no problem, but I do like all I need available when I bake and not have to stop in the middle and go get.

Matthew 6:33 (NIV)  But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

How many times have we prayed for 'something' and nothing happened?  And many times we wonder why it wasn't answered, and we get angry, we get confused, we get sad.... because our prayers, the things WE wanted, were not answered.  We didn't get what we wanted; what we asked for, and we pout.  Yes, I'm just as guilty of pouting at not getting my way at times - and you know that you are too. Don't pretend you are not.  You can't just shrug it off.  It hurts and it makes you sad.  

So why doesn't God answer the way we want Him to?  Most times it is because we are selfish in our requests.  We don't want a parent or a spouse or a child or a friend to pass away.... we don't want an 'F' on a test that we didn't study for.... we want car repairs to be done for 'free'.... we want a new house but don't want to have to pay for it.... we want, we want, we want.... and His Word SAYS that if we ASK, we will receive, right?  So why don't we get it?

Because for one, we can't just pop up and ask God for something when we ignore Him or take His name in vain all the other times.  Now this is just My opinion, and you know - and I know - that I am not always right.  But sometimes, I have an inkling that may be right.  Sometimes.  And I'm banking on that this time.

Now you know that I seek God first every morning that I am able to.  So why don't all my prayers get answered?  Some do, I admit, but not all of them.  Unfortunately, I remember the ones that DIDN'T get answered sometimes more than the ones that DID.  Does that happen to you as well?  We are quick to whine and complain because God didn't answer our prayer(s), but how many times did you go to God in prayer and spend time with Him, seeking His will, His kingdom, His righteousness?  How much time did you spend sitting with Jesus and just being with Him?  Sometimes we let ourselves get so busy that we push Jesus off to the side until we need Him.  We are all guilty of that, aren't we?  But - even though I seek God daily and study His Word, all my prayers do not get answered.

This morning as I was reading in a book, something struck a chord.  Many times I pray, but it's to God (Father) and I ask Him for things, but I leave off Jesus.  Does that make sense?  Oh we tag on the 'In Jesus' Name' at the end, but still, when we give Him 1001 requests to take care of, don't you think we need to ask a few more times 'In Jesus' Name'?  

(quote) When you begin to pray about specific requests and tie them one by one to the authoritative name of Jesus Christ, God is drawn to you quickly. He wants to know your heart. His specific interest in you and His interest in your specific prayer requests prove that God wants a personal relationship with you. This relationship is developed through practicing effective prayer principles.  God will answer specific prayers that are directed to Him an linked with the authoritative name of Jesus. (unquote)

Any time you take a request to God the Father in Jesus' name, you are tying it to the most authoritative name that has been given in the entire world.  Think about that! Jesus is the Gateway to our Heavenly Father's heart.  You want God to hear your prayers?  Pray in Jesus' name!

Seek the kingdom of God.  Seek His righteousness.  Surrender your life to Him.  Walk in His ways. Trust Him - no matter what.  Live for Him.  Love Him with all of your heart, all of your sour, all of your strength, all of your mind.  Surrender.  It's that simple.

We surrender our will to the One and Only - Jesus.  When we do that, life is good.

Blessings!

It was a busy day...

 Work kept me busy yesterday and I was able to get meetings extended to 2026 for one of my bosses. Still have the other 4 to go.  I had lots of meetings to schedule besides that yesterday, and I was also able to get the powerpoint slide deck in he board folder for the next board meetings.  Monday morning we have a prep for the one on next Thursday morning at 6AM.  

And wouldn't you know it, Morgan scheduled me for 7AM on Thursday for HIIT - but I had to tell her I couldn't make it.  Have to take minutes for the 6AM board meeting and it lasts until 7:30AM.  She had hubby scheduled for 8:30AM so asked if we could switch.  I asked hubby, and he reluctantly said he would swap with me.  So I do go at 8:30AM next Thursday.  Still have 5PM on Monday.  Monday morning I also have my mammogram scheduled so it will be a busy day as well.  That is the last of my yearly testing this year.  Next year will have to add the body density test to check out my bones.  I have acute pain in my left hip at times - and it wakes me up - and I mentioned it to Dr. Mark - and he offered up some solutions... but I veto'd them for the time being.  It's infrequent; and it started with the bug bites last October - but he doesn't see the connection - and neither do I, but that is when this hip pain started.

I hear hubby hustling about to get ready for his Bible study this morning.  I'm glad he can get out and go meet up with the men.  I dread when he will be forced to give up his car and I will have to drive him - or he won't be able to go.  I know it is in the near future, but we wait.  On top of everything else, to take his keys away right now would be unbearable.  His driving drives me crazy, but it is not as bad as some I've been in a car with.

So glad it is Friday and this week is nearly over.  Next week will be busy as hubby has one for sure, but maybe two doctor appointments that I will need to go with him to.  It does help me hear from the doctor what is really going on, and not just a partial report.  But in all honesty, if feels weird to go with him. And I take a notebook with me to write down things the doctor says so that we can reflect on them later.  After my doctor appointment I did sit in my car for a few minutes and wrote down what I could remember Dr. Mark saying about me!  I'm getting older too, and we hear only what we want to hear, and retain only what we want to retain.  Do you find that in your life too?

Morgan really worked my core the other night - and I was awake most of last night (it seems from how my body feels) because every time I moved, I would move a muscle in my belly and it would awaken me.  I got to start watching what I eat - and get this fat off the belly.  But I do love my baking. And eating it. In fact, I need to clean the freezer out this weekend so that I can find a place to put the items I bake.  Christmas will be here before I know it - and I start giving things out about the middle of the month. I like for people to have their goodies before the holidays so that they can enjoy them.  With three of my bosses, I will take theirs to them the 2nd Thursday in December as that is when we will be having the department Christmas party.   I will meet up with my boss on December 23rd so that she will have them for her family as they gather for the holidays.  So if I give everything away before then, I still have time to pull her things together.  

Just saw an advertisement pop up for Candlelight Concerts - interesting. I had to go and check it out - and it looks like it is tonight, and the next two nights, somewhere here in town.  Looks like it is outside. Before hubby and I married, I used to go to concerts in the area where I worked.  They would have small round tables with linen cloths and glasses with candles in them (which I was able to snag several - they said for us to take them), and we would listen to a symphony orchestra play songs.  I really enjoyed those.  I hadn't thought about them in decades - and here I am thinking of them because I saw the candlelight concerts.  Hubby and I went to a couple symphonies when we first moved out here. I loved to dress up and go.  But being in the 'ritzy part of town' that was a bit of a ways for us to drive, we quit going after a few.   We did go see White Christmas - which wasn't a concert, but a play, not far from us last year.  That gets pricey, but it was fun.

Hebrews 10:30-31 (NIV):  For we know him who said, "it is mine to avenge; I will repay," and again, "The Lord will judge His people." It is a dreadful thing to fall in to the hands of the living God.

In context, the scripture is stating that it is God's place to avenge our adversaries.  In many instances, WE want to avenge the wrong done to us.  For years I wanted to get even with hubby's ex-wife, who forced us to pay $1000 a month to her for child support - and when we got behind because of hubby quitting/losing his jobs - she would drag us back to court and push for him to be thrown in to jail for being behind in child support.  She was not a nice person.  It took me years to forgive her for what she took from us. Even when hubby's dad died, she filed a claim against the estate and until all monies were paid to her (although we were making payments through the court), she had to get it all in a lump sum before we could close the estate.  It was a very tough time for us. I forgave her, as hubby did, but it was a tough process for us.  And God did avenge the wrong done to us.  I'll leave that here - but years after we were able to stop paying, God avenged the wrong she did to us.  I truly believe He did.

I do not want to hold unforgiveness against anyone.  How Erika Kirk could forgive the murderer of her husband is all God.  And there is a lot of good coming from it.  I saw a post by Tim Allen this morning as well.  He said because of what Erika Kirk said about forgiveness, Tim Allen was finally able - after 60 years - to forgive the drunk driver who slammed into his father's car and killed his dad when he was 11 years old.  He said that he had harbored unforgiveness toward this drunk drives all these years.  He has now forgiven him. And it freed him for the first time in 60 years.

What anger or bitterness or unforgiveness are we holding on to that we need to let go of?  

I'm sitting her going through my mind, thinking of the abuse I went through during the growing up years - and I am thankful that God has helped me forgive them.  Although they never asked me for forgiveness, I choose to forgive them, for I will not live in a prison of my own making because of my unforgiveness of them.  "They know not what they do." is a true statement. People who abuse people, or hurt them, or take things from them, or withhold from them, have no idea what pain is endured inside of each one wronged.  But God knows, and He will avenge the wrong.  It's hard to be patient, for we want it to be immediate, in our presence, if possible.  But God doesn't work that way.  It isn't just that they will be thrown into hell because of what they did (if they don't seek God and ask forgiveness first), but God will avenge the wrong done to you.  It is hard to forgive people who hurt you.

And some of us may find it difficult to understand and forgive God for something He allowed to happen, or for not working in our timeframe.  But we don't see the 'big picture' - and God does.  In the future, we see nothing; but God sees all. I never would have dreamed that being rejected, I would find myself in a state other than Indiana, away from family and friends.  But God. He knew that it took getting me out here before I would run back to Him. And run I did.

And it is something I have never regretted.  Running to Jesus is the best thing  you can do.  Ask Him for forgiveness; He will give it.  Keep your eyes on Him, and run to Him.  He has His arms opened wide, waiting for you.  Forgiveness sets you free.  Free to live, and for some, for the very first time.

Blessings!

Answers to prayers - or coincidence?

 My oldest son needed to get in to see a specific specialist.  He waits a few days, then makes the phone call - and gets in the following day!  And another specialist he needs to see - he sees the next day!  Don't tell me that God isn't good and doesn't listen to prayers!

And then, on the other hand... hubby needed to get in to see a specialist after his recent doctor visit... and his specialist appointment is October 3 - what's up with the delay?  I have no answer, but can only think it is possibly because in his asking for a doctor in this practice.... he wanted in this area.  Not the first one who has an availability - wherever the office is located, but in this area.  And I get that.  We try to get people we will see on a fairly regular basis in the area we live in so that it's easier to get to.  So his one specialist is October 3rd.... I'm not sure what's going on with the other issue.  I think they are waiting on this doctor's report and the ultrasound results before moving on.  Hubby has been discouraged, of course, because he can't 'see' what is going on in his body, and as you know, he has a great fear of being sick and dying.  We all are going to die, but when he asks me if he is dying, I only respond with "we are trying to get to the root of the issues so that we know what will make you better."  What else can I say?

Since his diagnosis, I admit, I have been somewhat anxious about him.  He never complained much before of not feeling well.  And I get it; now that you know it is legit and you ARE sick, it's easy to fall back into the "I am sick, that is why I feel this way" thinking.  But yesterday... 

I had breakfast with my boss (took me an hour to get there!!) and he had his ultrasound.  When I got back home, as I opened the back door quietly, I thought I heard him snoring. No biggie; he often falls asleep in his chair.  Unfortunately, I made some noise as I came in and by the time I got to the living room, he was awake.  He looked terrible.  I asked him if he was ok.  He said he didn't feel good, felt nauseated, and very very tired and weak.  I let it go for awhile, then went back and asked if I should take him to the ER (as Dr. Mark told us to do if he felt sick), but he said no.  He started moving around and didn't say anything else about not feeling well.  

This morning he has training with Morgan.  She has been letting him choose what area of body he wanted to work on and has lightened his weights.  She told me last night that he grumbles that he doesn't feel like he is achieving much right now (with exercise), but she reminded him that at 88, at least he is getting up and going to the gym and doing SOMETHING - as most his age would say it's too much effort.  Morgan does try to encourage him to keep coming and doing something.... and he has showered this morning and I know he has an 8:30AM with her this morning.  At least I think he does.  

I try to watch him and pay attention to what he is doing; I don't know what things I should watch for.  I am trying to cook better meals as I have gotten very lazy with cooking lately.  We have eaten out way too much and with it costing so much to eat out anymore, we have been spending way too much money for other people to cook our food.  Going out with friends is one thing, but we need to pull out of just going because I don't want to cook - or hubby doesn't want me to cook cause he knows I'm tired. We have also started sharing meals, although the other night hubby acted like I was taking too much of 'HIS' food (I wasn't; I think he was just confused for there was a great variety).  We all know he loves to eat (more so than I do) and always cleans his plate up.  We are from the age that we had to growing up.

 My stepfather would not let us get up from the table until our plate was empty.  When he wanted fried pigs brains (yes, that is such a thing), he made mother fix it and he would force us kids to eat it.  I would throw up - and still had to come back and clean my plate.  Then run to the bathroom again to throw up.  It took me YEARS before I could ever eat a scrambled egg again.  

I have a lot of work to get done for the office today. I am behind in getting meetings scheduled for 2026 and will need to truly focus on it these next few days.  I have 5 calendars that I need to make sure that the meetings are extended for 2026 and then I also have to get all the meetings I do from my own calendar (board meetings, preps, reviews, etc.) on the calendars for next year too.  It is a focused chore, and I still have to keep up on daily things.  But I am hoping if I focus on one calendar a day, I can get them all completed soon - but I do need to get the board meetings on the calendars.

I stopped and picked up sour cream last night so that I can make strawberry bread this weekend.  It really is good.  I called my daughter to see what she thought about it, but she hadn't tried it yet.  Need to use up the rest of the pumpkin and perhaps make pumpkin nut muffins - and of course my cranberry pumpkin nut bread.  Got to clean out my freezer and find a place to put them.  Also a task for this weekend.

Got distracted - I remembered I finished a book this morning that I have been reading in the mornings and had to jump on Goodreads to record it.  I'm at 40 of 50 books - it says I'm 4 ahead for the year... but I am not sure I can meet my goal again this year - I got so close last year - and didn't meet the goal.  I guess I need to get hubby to leave the tv off more and let me read more. :-)  Either that or I have too many books going at the same time and will finish them all about the same time.  I do enjoy reading. But I enjoy baking too - and that is where my time ends up going in the next couple of months - baking. Oh well - I can set the same goal for next year as well.

I John 2:1 (NIV)  My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have an advocate with the Father - Jesus Christ, the Righteous One.

Did you know that by Jesus' death He has become our advocate with our Heavenly Father?  Think about it - when we sin, the devil rushes to tell God all the bad stuff we have done.  And sometimes our list may be long.... BUT JESUS... as our Advocate, stands there with His Father and says to the devil, "Nope, My blood covered that one; NOT GUILTY."  And the more Satan goes on and on about how bad we are and how we deserve to go to hell with the devil..... Jesus says, "Father, My blood covered every one of those sins" - and there isn't anything the devil can do!  You can just imagine how frustrated he gets when Jesus tells him "You can't have them, My blood covers that sin" and as we confess each sin we commit, Jesus covers us with His blood.  We are redeemed by Jesus Christ, the Righteous One.  So very grateful.  

The devil will also try to convince you how bad you have been.  He will try to make you feel so guilty about things you have done in the past.  He will remind you constantly of how horrible a person you are.... but when we have confessed those things to Jesus and sought Him for forgiveness, His blood covers us - from the top of our head to the bottom of our feet.  It doesn't mean we don't suffer the consequences of our past.... but it does mean our lives are covered by Jesus' blood and that we will reign with Him in heaven when our end comes.

That alone is reassuring, don't you think?  Something to think about - Jesus is our Advocate and will defend us.  He is our Friend.

Blessings!

It was a very good day....

 Yes, I did jump online for work a couple times to skim through emails and work on a couple things, but did not spend much time there.  In the morning I just took my time and read my Bible and spent time with Jesus.  Took a shower, and got ready for my doctor appointment.  Made it there in good time and settled in the office lobby so that I'd be ready when it was my turn. I was perhaps 30 minutes early so sat down to knit for a bit. A lady there and I had a conversation.  Finally it was my turn to get my test results.

I had already looked at my blood test results and thought they were ok, but truly, since I don't know how results affect other results, needed the doctor's interpretation.  I was a bit concerned about my blood pressure, cause in the mornings when I take it, it jumps up and down.  I was praying it would be a 'down' morning cause I did not want to have to take another pill.  As you know, I take great pride in requiring a few medications every day.  Granted, medications are needed for life, I get that, but I just don't want to take them. I'm a rebel.  I beg to get taken off the Fosamax, but alas, I have been told I cannot.

Anyway - long story short - my doctor visit went very well, and I get to do the 'happy dance'!  Why?  Because Dr. Mark went through all my blood work and said it was perfect!  All the results were where he wanted them to be.  The MCHC?  It's just a combination of stuff and not important; it was on the low end of the numbers.  The specific gravity?  I did ask him about that - and he just said I drink a lot of water (which I do) and it flushes all the particles out of my urine. (TMI?) He said he was very pleased with my blood test results and to keep doing whatever I am doing.  My chest x-ray showed the lungs are clear and my breathing tests showed the numbers in the 90's - and he said most people my age (NOT that I'm old!) find their lung capacity in the 70's.  My EKG was excellent.  And my WEIGHT?  I didn't even bother to take off my tennis shoes and I wore jeans - I told his assistant to make sure she makes a note I left them on - so that it would be the reason my weight was where it was.  LOL  But - when I mentioned I'd like to get rid of this 'belly fat' (don't we all?) expecting him to suggest specific eating changes (lose the carbs, etc.) and this is what he said.  "You can weigh whatever you choose to weigh - you can be the size you want to be; your blood work and test results show that you are taking care of yourself and are healthy.  Don't worry so much about how much you weigh - keep the focus on how your FEEL."  Ok, he wasn't THAT wordy, but that is what I heard.  I left there doing the happy dance, for sure!  He also told me he didn't need to see me - until maybe February - because he wants to check my thyroid medication level again. He just has this one test and it is at the top for the T4; he thinks it is too much for me and wants to reduce it. But will wait until I do another round of labs and will see where the level is, then will make a decision.  And get this - my iron levels were normal.  Still don't know why I was anemic a year ago.

On the way home I stopped at Sam's Club and picked up salads and other things.  Came home and hubby was getting ready to head to his gym training and then was going on to his bible study.  (Ended up he got a call and his buddy couldn't make it so he came back home)  My daughter came over a little early since I was going to be baking - and we made some memories!

I can't remember - if ever - that my daughter and I baked anything together. It was always the grandchildren.  Growing up, hubby wouldn't allow any of them in the kitchen as it was 'my domain'. So I didn't get to teach them how to cook either.  Looking back, we all missed out on a lot.  But looking ahead, my daughter and I had fun - or at least I did.

We ate dinner (salad, of course) first and then started going through the cookbooks.  She made pumpkin muffins which are delicious! I made my peach muffins - but screwed up on the cinnamon and added too much - but I think they still taste ok. LOL I made them in my brownie tin and they look kind of funny with a pointed top.  'It is what it is'.  I also made oatmeal raisin cookies.  Daughter left around 7PM I guess and headed over to divide the stash with her daughter that she was taking with her.  I will be getting 'rid' of my stash today - well, most of it.  

I get to have breakfast with my favorite boss this morning.  Yes, I'm taking her goodies.  Plus birthday gifts.  She has a birthday on October 1st.  She will be 66 this year.  We are ten years apart. She makes me laugh for she says she watches me and uses that as a goal to be (healthy) when she is my age.  She is healthy and does a lot of physical things I don't - pickleball, golf, long walks, etc.

I'm so glad I took yesterday off work - it was nice to be able to get my doctor appointment without watching the clock and needing to get back to work.  It was very nice to be able to bake and make goodies with my daughter.  I hope it means as much to her as it does to me.  We need to do it more often!  I 'THINK' I've made the decision that on 'doctor days' (for me) that I will just take the entire day off.  Now that I have to also take time off for hubby's doctor appointments, I need to do just what I need to do - but I won't be stressing about MY tests.  

Hebrews 10:35-36 (NIV):  So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what He has promised.  

Don't throw away your confidence in who you are.  Some people overthink who they are, and make themselves rude and obnoxious, don't you think?  No one is better than anyone else.  I am not better than you, nor are you better than me.  We are all equal - because that is how God made us.  Be who you were created to be.  Be confident in who you are in Christ Jesus.  As we live in Him, He will reward us and will give us all that He has promised.  I can't wait!

For those of you today who need encouragement right now, I am praying for you.  Nothing is too big for God.  Yes, sometimes He allows us to go through tough times and to reap the consequences of our actions.  But sometimes, He also allows us mercy and grace, and makes the consequences 'not so bad'.  So many times we do what WE want to do and allow the world to direct our path.  Why not try this - let God direct your path - one day at a time.  Let God share with you the goodness of His love for you.  You may not feel it at first, but sit back and let Him love on you for a bit.  He's waiting for you to give Him the attention only He desires, and deserves.

All the attention we give to our spouse, our children, etc. - it's all for Him.  Look to Jesus, for He is the author and perfector of our faith.

Blessings!

It could be a day of rest.... or not...

 I took today off.  As yesterday progressed, I made the decision to do just that. My boss gave her approval. I do need to check the computer for meeting stuff today, but overall, I have nothing going on.  Workwise, anyway.  There is a lot I want/need to get done today.  Even on a day off work.  But it feels good - here it is 7:13AM - and I do not need to jump up and get on the work computer.  Is this what retirement would look like? :-)

Things I want/need to get done today - blueberries are in and I'd like to drive down and get a few cases.  I probably ought to check the freezer first - I may have enough in there that I don't need to pick any up.  I want to get some baking done today.  I haven't thawed strawberries out yet to make strawberry bread, but I did pull out frozen peaches yesterday and I can make peach bread or peach muffins.  That is the plan, anyway, for that.  Might make some oatmeal raisin cookies too.  Won't keep them here, of course, but they are my trainer's favorite, and my little sister's, and I do need to get her box sent out today since I didn't send it with my son.  Need to work on this bedroom - the bed is loaded down with boxes again. Oh - and of course the real reason I took the day off - I have my follow up appointment with Dr. Mark today at noon.  So will need to leave here around 11AM to get there in time - an hour there, and then another hour to get back - a big chunk of time in the middle of the day - but that's ok.  Makes me get moving and get things done.  But for now, here I sit.

Meeting my boss tomorrow morning for breakfast and need to finish getting her birthday gift put together.  Yeah, that is part of the baking too.  She and I were joking around yesterday - I told her if I got the day off, I'd be baking goodies to give for her birthday.  She was quite agreeable that I take the day off.  

Got my second cup of coffee already.  Reminds me, I need to make a run to the store this morning (or afternoon) to pick up a salad for hubby to take to the group he is meeting for bible study tomorrow.  It's a lunch so I will remain at home and work.  I love buying the salads at Sam's Club as they are already put together and just need to be mixed up.  No work on my part, and the $10 or so I pay for it, is well worth my time of buying it.

My youngest has already txt'd me their route for today.  I'm glad he does that so that I know approximately where they are.  They made it to Salt Lake, Utah yesterday, and hope to get to Buffalo, Wyoming by tonight.  It seems they are driving so fast through the states, and although they may stop and see some things, it is way too fast for me.  I think. But it's what they do. Have already prayed for their safety as they travel. 

I slept deep and hard last night, which is totally unusual.  Then BAM!  at 4AM my forehead exploded with a major headache and woke me up.  It was as if a 2x4 had hit my head.  I didn't move. I laid there and prayed for it to go away, dozing off and on, knowing that I didn't need to get up.  At 5:30AM I finally woke up and made my way to the medicine cabinet where I knew I had some Excedrin and grabbed one pill.  Yep. I took an Excedrin for my headache as I still had it.  I am happy to say that between the Excedrin and my coffee, the headache has finally gone away.  I don't get headaches like that anymore, so was not expecting one to hit me like that.  But it felt good I didn't have to get up and plan to work today.  The headache is now gone, and I will be hitting the shower soon and getting dressed for the doctor's office.  Not sure if I will get any baking done this morning or not. May just focus on clearing off this bed.  Or maybe I'll do the run to Sam's Club - it shouldn't be that crowded this morning. 

Malachi 3:6-7 (NIV): "I the Lord do not change. So you, the descendants of Jacob, are not destroyed. Ever since the time of your ancestors you have turned away from My decrees and have not kept them. Return to me, and I will return to you." says the Lord Almighty.

Following Jesus does not mean you have to be perfect.  We will never be perfect.  We all fall short of the glory of God.  And following Jesus, and seeking after Him, does not mean your life will be perfect in finances, in health, in friends, in anything.  But following Jesus, and having His Spirit live within you, will give you the strength, the wisdom, and the ability to accomplish far greater things than you can do in your own power.  Running back to Jesus 40+ years ago was the greatest decision I ever made. Even when I didn't know Him, He knew me, and when that invitation came to open my heart to Him, I ran.  Literally.  Falling on my knees, I cried out to the only One who could save me. And I've never looked back.  Greatest and best choice I ever made.

If you know me, you know I still make mistakes.  You know that I still misjudge people.  You know that I am not wealthy, I am not (always) wise, I do not have everything I want.  But I love Jesus with every fiber of my being and my heart is in His hands.  My life is as well.  He can do with me whatever He wants.  Why do I say that?  

Because He loves me more than anyone else could.  If my life is snuffed out, I pray that it will draw others to Him.  I am surrendered to Him, completely.  It doesn't mean I'm any smarter, for I'm not, but if I check with Him first, He will help me make better decisions.

Life is all about Jesus.  What is your life about? What are you putting before Him?  Money? Pride? Pleasure? .... What are you going to do about Jesus?  Is He going to walk with you daily, or just be a side note for whenever you want Him?  What are you going to do about Jesus?

Maybe that gives you something to think about.  The Lord does not change His mind.  The Bible is the Word of the Lord.  Read it. Come to know Him who loves you more than you could ever love anyone. How I wish I could / would memorize every scripture in it!  But as I read it, it infiltrates my mind and God will bring to mind those words that I need to remember.  Or that I need to share.  Many times I will sit here and ask Him what should I share in scripture today.  And, sometimes, He will give me a Word and yes, I go to Bible Gateway and look up the scriptures applying to that Word, so that I can give you the right scripture.

This morning I was reminded that the Lord does not change His mind.  Sin is sin, and what it is will never change.  Our culture has accepted so many things that are evil.  But God has not changed His mind about those things.  What He called sin, called evil, in biblical times, is still evil and is still sin in today's culture.  Just because we prefer to 'overlook' some things does not make it right in God's eyes. We are to love everyone, regardless of who or what they are.  We are to hate evil, and love good. Love Jesus or love the world.  In other words......

Hate the sin, love the sinner.  Pray for those who love sin, that their eyes will be opened and that their hearts will be healed with the love of Jesus.  Some people can only be rescued with prayer.  Who are you praying for?  Words to them may only bring strife.... but words to our Heavenly Father may bring peace.  Which do you choose to speak?

Blessings!

And they are off....

 My youngest son and his wife have already hit the road this morning for their l-o-n-g roadtrip. I think they plan to be back like around October 2 or 3.  Home for a couple days and then head out again.  "Must be nice", huh.  Not envious - well, maybe I am, in a way.  I've never been a traveler - or even wanting to travel much - unless it is to visit family or to visit a granddaughter 'south'.  Just going to a state to say I've been to that state, even if it is to see something there, is not my thing.  Why?  Probably because when I was growing up, the only place we went was Tennessee.  Once I left home my parents and those still at home would head to Florida for a getaway.  I was never included.  My traveling has always consisted of visiting family. I'm ok with that.  With hubby and I, in the first 40 years of marriage, we never had any money to travel. Yes, we made a few trips back to Indy - but very few, and usually it was because we had to go to court, or a funeral. Hubby has pushed for us getting away on our anniversary for the past several years.  I told him that this year was the last year.  I refuse to let him drive, and there is no reason for me to drive us somewhere away from family and everyone else - and then just stay in the room pretty much. I'm not a sight-see-r.  Just never have been.  Seen it once - you've seen it.  I may travel again at some point, but for now, I'll save my money and vacation at home.  Now if someone wanted to take us somewhere with them.... I'd seriously consider it!  

We watched the entire Charlie Kirk memorial yesterday on TV.  I did ok (with a little grumbling about some of the speeches) until Erika Kirk spoke.  Her grief just broke my heart.  Yes, I cried - not cry cry - but I did have to wipe tears away.  Personally, there were too many speakers, but it was good that many of them shared the gospel and encouraged everyone to turn to Jesus.  Some people may have heard it for the very first time.  I still just can not get over the hate.  The indifference toward it all is to be expected.  People were not involved in this ministry and probably had heard of Charlie Kirk, but had not followed him.  And indifference is ok.  But the hatred and the words spoken by those who did not even know him, is unreal.  I haven't heard of the actual funeral... don't know if they have already had it - or if it will be this week.  Regardless, it will be very painful for that last goodbye, and I my heart breaks for Erika and the family.  

Not sure what my workday is going to be like today.  I keep feeling like I should take tomorrow off work. I do have my follow up appointment with Dr. Mark, but why do I feel like I need to take a vacation day? I need to make that decision today and put in for it, making sure I have back up.  Now that we know hubby's lab tests are in, I'm hoping they will schedule him for tomorrow to come in to talk with Dr. Mark - or they may not even need to have him come in.  I know Wednesday morning I plan to meet my favorite boss for breakfast - and hubby has a simon med appointment for an ultrasound - which he does not need me to attend with him.  Maybe I just need to take the day off tomorrow.  For me. I want to bake some strawberry bread for my boss; I've told her about it and she wants to try it.  I need to get started on my other baking too.  Need to hit the grocery store.  Yeah, maybe I will.  A day for me. :-)

I talked with Ms. Diane the other day. I still have not gone to visit her at this facility.  She said they haven't gotten her up for rehab in over a week.  So now her children are moving her to a group home and are packing things up to put her house up for sale.  One of the houses up for sale sold the other day - only 1200 sq ft so it was a small one.  But we have one with the sign still up, one that may still be 'on the market' without a sign, and one that will be going up soon.  I wish ours was  Yes, I want a house. With a back yard.  A place that we can call our own without other people managing it. Hubby refuses to leave.... but prayer changes things.  He also refused to leave our last house - which now is 'dead' if you drive by it.  Trees and grass and flowers are all dead.  So sad; we used to have the best lawn in the entire area as we had a landscaper come every other week to take care of it.  He was cheap too.  $25 for the entire front yard.  $50/month - grass cut, trimmed, weeds pulled, trees trimmed - it was well worth it.  I loved that house; I loved the space I had.  I loved the cabinet space I had!  I need to either get rid of things here or quit buying!  (or get a bigger place, which would be nice!)

It's cloudy out this morning, and cool, -  79 degrees according to my computer.  Would love to take the time and go sit outside this morning.  But, work does call and I will need to get on the work computer soon.  Someone must have hired someone to do work - I keep hearing a buzz of a power tool but don't see it in the immediate area, so wonder who is doing what.

Romans 15:7 (NIV):  Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.

Sometimes it is hard to accept other people, isn't it?  They aren't like us; they don't have the same values we have. Some are narcistic and want all the attention on themselves.  Some are drama queens.  Some think it is all about them.  Some are God-filled; some are evil filled.  There are all kinds of people out there and many are hard to accept. 

But God.  He says we are to accept one another.  Look at what a mess I am, and Jesus has accepted me as one of His own.  How can I not lay down my thoughts, my feelings, my intuitions, my anger, etc... about certain people.... when He has accepted me - just as I am?  I'm a mess, which you already know. I don't even have to go into detail and you know what a mess I am.  I am called to love others, just as Christ loves me.  That's hard.  Sometimes it is really hard.

But it is also a choice.  It takes choice; it takes prayer.  I would love to tell some people off and set them on their path I think they should be heading.... but that is not my position. I am not to 'tell them where to go'... but to show them how to find Jesus.  And then it's their choice - regardless of what they 'say', to  follow Him.  I mean really follow Him.  I'm not talking about going to church occasionally or watching a service online.  I'm talking about FOLLOWING JESUS.  He went to the synagogue every week.  He lived what He said.  Shouldn't we if we are Christ-followers?

And yes, as you know, I fail many times.  I am so grateful for a loving and kind Father who will forgive me for ALL my past, when I ask for forgiveness and confess it to Him.  He helps me to let go of the pain, the guilt, the shame.  Yeah, the devil tries to stir it up many times, but I am learning to ignore him. I know hubby is working on areas of his life as well.  In fact, as many of you may know, we have one family 'member' who hates our family and usually tolerates any being around - which is rare. We all tend to shut down around them.  Hubby used to be one of the outspoken ones, but even he has changed in that area. In fact, it was noticed the last time we were around them that he didn't say much and actually gave a compliment.  That's all God.  Trust me. I live with this man.  It doesn't mean he likes this person or wants to be around them, but he wants to be more like Jesus.  And that's what Jesus would do. Some say 'I forgive them' for what they did, (or didn't do) but then they are constantly bringing it up on social media and calling veiled names.  Is that forgiveness?  

When Jesus forgave me, He doesn't remember it anymore.  When Jesus forgave you, He doesn't remember it anymore.  And that is what we are called to do. Forgive (even when not asked for forgiveness), and then let it go.  Include those people who hurt you.  Let them get to know you better. If they stay away, it's their choice.  True, there are many that would argue that point with me, but if you want to be LIKE Jesus, you want to live like Him as well.

Ok - mind is rambling and I'm not pointing fingers at anyone.  Forgiveness is crucial to live a Christ-filled life.  How bad do you want it?  

I am mentally making plans to go on a three day fast to pray for specific family members who do not follow Jesus.  My heart is broken over those I always believed would be His - but they have rejected Him for the world.  I am going to be specifically praying for them.  If you have someone you want prayed for, please send me their name - and I'll add to my 'list'.  If YOU want on it for any reason, let me know as well.  In the meantime, you are in my general prayers.

Blessings!

It's taking time to come to light!

 Yep - when I sat down here around 6AM this morning, and peeked out the window, I still saw darkness.  A month ago I could open the shutters and peek out and see the world; now I don't want them seeing ME with the shutters open - so they remain shut.  It is just now starting to come daylight.  The world is awakening.

I had a good day yesterday.  I met my youngest son early and we did a 'McDonald's run' for breakfast.  My choice.  I didn't 'ask' him to breakfast (yes, he bought) to get a big meal.  I was happy just to spend time with him so suggested we just do McDonalds.  And my sausage mcmuffin, potato cake, and coffee were delicious and just enough!  I went to the register and asked if we HAD to use the kiosk - and the person who was speaking to me said 'Yes' and I just said I don't like them.  She offered to bring someone to the register to take my order for me, but I told her that was fine, we would use the kiosk.  She offered again, but my son was already at the kiosk.  I don't like them!  Don't they realize those things are taking their jobs - even if they don't like working with the public?  Granted, some of us aren't the nicest, especially in the mornings, but still..... 

From McDonalds, my son and I went to the ass-kicking store (that was fun!) and to the base, and then I headed on over to the church to have lunch with the WOW group. Yes, I made it in time.  I didn't eat lunch, but I did eat a small piece of cake with them.  It was nice meeting about 11 other women (it was a very small group) and yeah, there may have been only one or two women in their 40-50 age range, but the rest (I feel) were older than me - I like to think that in my mind anyway.  Their hair was white.  Ok, so mine is colored.  I'll leave that there.  When I got to church and reached in the back for my sun shake - I realized I forgot to leave some things at my son's - so that required another trip down that way.  This morning I realized I forgot to take the box I want him to hand off to my sister and therefore, will need to make another run down there this afternoon.

Today is Sunday and we will be going to church.  Grateful we live north aways of State Farm Stadium as the memorial service for Charlie Kirk is this morning.  No, we are not going; we will be going to church.  The memorial service starts at 11AM and I think they are going to televise it - and we may watch it.  Or may not.  Words spoken at memorial services should be of remembrances and hope for tomorrow; the legacy left.  NOT for promoting oneself or 'the cause'.  I'm probably not saying that right.  Keep it simple, keep it short.  Right?  With so many 'important' people attending, the security has got to be unreal, plus so.many.people..... can you imagine in the three hours allowed to get everyone in..... how packed that place is going to be?  Great for the restaurants nearby; they will be packed afterwards, I'm sure!  And the time it will take to find your car and get out of there.  No thank you.  I'll go to my church, worship Jesus, and come home.  Got chicken thighs thawed out and will throw in the air fryer and find a veggie to go with it.  Unless hubby offers to take me out to dinner.  Doubtful, but he might.

Did I mention that I cancelled Virta on Friday?  It took all of five minutes and my app privileges were cancelled.  Yep. I txt'd my coach and said I wanted to cancel effective immediately. He sent a note back that he would increase my carbs, etc. (isn't decreasing them the choice to lose weight?) if I wanted to stay with it.  Even though I was not paying for it, my company was, there is no reason to continue it if I didn't want to do it.  When I told him it was 'tempting, but no', I was immediately blocked from using the app.  No biggie.  I deleted it.  Now - anyone need lancets or a meter and glucose or ketone strips?  I have about a month's supply left, I think. Oh, alcohol wipes too.  I may just continue to take to keep me in line with my sugar.  (I bought fudge yesterday).  :-)  Insurance pays for it for people who really need it so probably not. 

Psalm 122:1 (NIV):  I rejoiced with those who said to me, "Let us go to the house of the Lord."

I have made it no secret that I am a Christ-follower and I choose Him above anyone else.  But think about this.  When someone says to you, "Let's go visit a daughter, a son, or a grandchild that you haven't seen for awhile, do you not start to feel some excitement inside to get to see them again?  When your spouse or son or daughter come home from an overseas trip; aren't you excited to see them?  (For some of us, it's getting to see Santa Claus as well! LOL)  This is what King David was saying when he wrote Psalm 122.  "I am so happy, and I rejoice, that those with me want to go to worship the Lord God.  Who want to worship the One I love.   David rejoiced in being able to freely go worship His God.  

I admit, some Sundays (as you can probably gather), I groan that I need to get dressed to go.  Since Covid, I have gotten so lazy.  We got so used to watching it on TV (and most times I was still in my jammies) that a cup a coffee, my crochet in hand, was what Sunday mornings were.  I can still get coffee at church (and it is good coffee too!) but I need to make an effort to go.  Take a shower (usually much needed), put makeup on (no comment, please), and do my hair (being shorter requires more work at this point).  And, of course, finding something 'nice' to wear.  Yes, I could wear jeans and fit right in. But I like dressing up.  I do the dress, hose, heels - the entire works. LOL  Just think, if I quit dressing up, I could get rid of a lot of clothes!  But, I am still wearing what I had before Covid so not needing to shop for new ones.  With working from home, I don't buy myself many dressy clothes.

And speaking of showers and getting dressed, I need to do just that.  So off here I am, and shower into I go.  Have a blessed day!

Blessings!

Busy morning, somewhat

 This Saturday morning I actually have something going on. Well, I guess I do at least one Saturday a month with Needles of Hope - but this is something different.  My youngest son wants to take me to the 'a$$-kicking' sauce store, which is a small store not far from him.  He has recently found out that I like jalapenos on my pizza, and nachos, ant wanted to take me there.  I usually do not use hot sauce on anything, but hubby does.  I'm going because I want to spend some 1:1 time with this son.  My 1:1 time with any of my children is precious and I will take every opportunity I can to have that with them, even for just a few moments.  Let me back up a bit - I was going to meet him at 9AM at his place to go to this store, and he mentioned his wife would be leaving and visiting her mother at 7AM.  So I asked him why not we go to breakfast then - I'll come down at 8AM and he can take me to breakfast and then we go to the store.  He seemed reluctant (he doesn't like nor eat breakfast, he says), but agreed.  I'm just prolonging our time together. I don't care if we just go get coffee (he doesn't drink coffee either, I don't think), but just want to spend 1:1 time with him.   After our time together, if I get back in time, I am to go to the 'WOW luncheon (women of wisdom) at church. I'm 'in between' wanting to go and not wanting to go.  I really do want to meet other women at the church... but there is a conference up in Prescott this weekend, and I am guessing most of the younger women are at that conference.  I'll keep my comments to myself... but I will stop at the luncheon (won't be hungry since going out for breakfast  - and we are to bring our own lunch) and meet some of the women and have dessert with them.

I have become really introverted and shy over the past few years with being home ALL the time.  I used to love to meet new people and get out and do things with others.  Not so much anymore.  But I do need to get involved as we want to stay at this church and meet people. Hubby is going to start going to a lunch Bible study twice a month at 1PM with a few people.  Since it's during the day, I cannot, of course.  Well, I probably could get by with it, but with having now to take off for hubby's doctor appointments, don't want to take advantage of a boss who is willing to flex my hours.

I have my own follow-up with Dr. Mark this Tuesday. I am expecting a fairly good report from my labs. The only two 'red' dots were specific gravity (I think I drink too much water?) and MCHC, I think it was. I'm still trying to figure out what that is.  He is trying to find out why I am/was a little anemic last December (he still can't believe my former doctor didn't do tests to figure out why I was a little anemic, but instead just told me to take an iron pill.  That's another reason why I like Dr. Mark; he gets to the root of the problem instead of just 'fixing' or 'masking' it.

After not sleeping much the night before, I slept really good last night.  We did go to bed a little later and I got up about 4:50AM this morning.  I just don't want to give up 'my' time - 4-8AM on weekends hubby just brings my coffee and stays out of here (as a rule).  It's my 'space' that I treasure and I don't care if I come in here and go back to sleep for a little bit - it is my space alone and I treasure it.  For those of you who are alone a lot, I know you don't understand it. Nor would you understand it if you have not carved out time just for you to read and rest without interruptions.  I've done this now for 40 years plus - and I refuse to loose it.  Yes, I may have to cut it short at times, but it is a choice.  I just don't want to give it up.

I can't figure this out.  I went online and set up an account at Labcorp for hubby so that we can see his labs.  That's where Dr. Mark sends his bloodwork too,  Yesterday hubby even received notification that his labs had been reported.  But when I go into Labcorp - there is nothing there.  Not sure why that is. Maybe I will call Labcorp next week and ask why his reports do not show up.  I'm curious what his AST is as it was out of whack for his liver last week. I'm hoping the office will call him to come in the same day I do so that it will save a trip - unless Dr. Mark will just call him and give him the information.  I'd like to have a copy of it.  But I'm also praying that the report will come back normal so that will confuse everyone. LOL  Hubby could use a good report on his health.

Colossians 3:12 (NIV): Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.

Right now I think a lot of people should reflect on that verse, don't you?  I have been so shocked at how people are reacting over the assassination of Charlie Kirk.  Regardless of whether they agreed with him or not, no one has the right to take another person's life.  I don't care if you liked what he said or not. He believed in what he said, and he had as much right to say what he did - just as you and I have that same right to voice our own opinion, our own thoughts, about the world.  It is just wrong on the things being said and done.  

But I do agree, if one celebrates a life being stolen, being snuffed out, they need to removed from influencing others with their vile contempt.  I'm sorry jobs have been lost over a ruthless and unprovoked comment posted on social media, or verbally spoken even, but one should always respect those around you that may have a different opinion than you do.  As Charlie Kirk always said - "Prove me wrong" - and they couldn't.  So they reviled him.  Just like Jesus spoke the Truth, and the Pharisees and others reviled Him.  Not comparing the two.  Just the circumstances.  There is NONE like Jesus, and NONE can be compared to Him.  

Lord, please give us a forgiving heart and patience with others, remembering how You have forgiven us. Help us to remember that we want our voice to be heard just as others do.  But help us not to resort to hate, nor violence, for they solve nothing, and make ourselves look foolish.  Keep our eyes on You, the author and perfector of our faith.  You alone are Lord, and we are not. Amen.

Take some time today to do good for others.  Sit quietly and listen to them without interruptions.  If given an opportunity to share your thoughts, then give them, and perhaps they will respect you enough to allow you to speak.  In all things, speak Truth.  And speak it with respect.

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.  The 'Golden Rule' still holds true.  

Blessings!

He fixed it! My son fixed it!

 Yesterday my oldest son stopped by (I guess he was tired of hearing me complain about my blog issues) (well, yes, he DID say exactly that....) and worked on my computer.  He is so much smarter than I am - I didn't even know a browser could possibly cause issues - but he figured things out and fixed it where I now have Chrome to click in to - AND he set it up that it automatically goes to my blog.  Whoo hoo!  Thank you, son!  

Yesterday was a busy day but I did get all the provider and network weekly meetings scheduled for 2026. That took most of the day.  Then I was able to get the Colorado board meetings scheduled. SO HAPPY that my boss decided we will go quarterly instead of every other month. It eliminates two meetings a year. The fact that WE have to get online at 6AM for these meetings due to the time zones, I'm glad we dropped it down.  I still need to create the prep meetings and the other 'stuff' that goes with it.  Then I get to start on the other board that I cover (you know, the one I got back).  And, as soon as it is approved, I will need to get started on the third board that we will have.

And that's not counting the 1:1s that need to be scheduled for 2026 and all the other meetings that need to be recurring. Yeah, I just plug along.  I'll work on the critical ones first - then work the others in.  For this moment in time.... I am in control of 2026 for meetings. :-)  But I need to get them done for I have noticed the other admins are working on their leaders meetings as well.  We have to start early (like in the last quarter) because it doesn't take long for meetings to take our 'spot'.

We got hit with a major thunderstorm about 2:30-3AM this morning.  How do I know?  Because I woke up at 1:45AM and could not go back to sleep.  I finally got up at 2AM and tried to sleep in here - and I'm sure I dozed off and on, but eventually turned the light on and tried to read a bit, closing my eyes ever so often and hoping I'd fall back to sleep.  I did get my 'normal' morning things read and done.  And I've been actually looking at some of my emails instead of glancing and deleting without reading or just skimming through. Still have a long ways to go. I ought to make that a goal - clear out my emails.  Why do I keep saving specific emails when I don't stop to read them?  I need to go through, read them, and make a decision to either save in a folder or delete, right?  I always have left in the emails with the thought "I'll get back to it" and never do.

I got my hair highlighted last night - and I will say I absolutely love it!  It has taken that harsh brown and blended it into a brownish blond.  Now I don't have to go get an 'overall' dye on my hair again - but will allow my hairdresser to just highlight where it needs it.

Hubby is doing pretty well right now.  He did the 2+ hour cardiac testing yesterday and came home in fairly good spirits.  This morning he has headed off to his bible study.  

I think I will have another cup of coffee or two this morning - or maybe I'll switch to iced coffee; I haven't had any for a few days.  In fact, I'm going to make some changes.  I am going to cancel Virta - there is just no way I can stick to 30 grams of carbs a day.  Ok, I will say it, I don't want to stick to 30 grams of carbs a day!  I like fruit. Which has natural sugar - and carbs.  I like bread. Ok, I LOVE bread. I like beans.  None of which Virta says I can have.  Too many carbs it says.  I can't see trying to continue with it when I'm not following it.  I'm looking at the Mediterranean food.  I already have a few cookbooks.  You know, eat like Jesus ate.  You can have PASTA (carbs), you can have BREAD (more carbs) - and more!  Why not? I've tried everything else - right?  LOL  Actually, this is NOT about losing weight.  In all reality, my weight issue is all in my mind.  I'm really NOT in a 'bad weight' zone for my age.  (so I tell myself).  I want to lose weight- but I want to be healthy more.  I see lots of positives in this plan and want to investigate it more.  Besides, I need to cook more healthy for hubby, so that he will feel and get better.  Gotta lay off the junk food.

So after my hairdresser last night, I stopped at El Pollo Loco, which is right there by the shop, and brought home grilled chicken for both of us.  I got the side salad and pinto beans with it, and got hubby his favorite - coleslaw and pinto beans.  See - grilled chicken, pinto beans, salad - not bad at all, right?  Yes, I had flour tortillas!  And ate every bite of it.

Ephesians 4:29 (NIV) Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

Wow - I think that verse should be posted everywhere right now - don't you?  Agree or disagree with someone - that's ok.  We all have our own opinions.  But we should keep those opinions to ourselves and not spew them out when it will mislead or tear down people and lead them astray.  Am I right?  "Prove me wrong".

I choose to build people up because I want to be built up.  Sometimes I need a kind word that will encourage me to live like I should.  I don't need someone nitpicking me and telling me I'm not who I say I am because they don't agree with a prayer I prayed or a decision I made or because I want to be friends with someone they are not friends with.

I choose to be me.  And I think that is a pretty good choice.  Yes, I make mistakes, and I will probably continue to make mistakes.  But I serve a Lord who is forgiving and loving and kind.  He is full of grace and mercy.  When no one loves me for me, He still does.  When I feel alone, He is always with me. When I screw up, He shows me my wrong and helps me change.  The Lord is truly all that I need.

And He is all that you need too.  Why not pay attention to the words that come out of your mouth today. Discover who you are - or what you have 'become' by your words.  Are they uplifting? Are they kind?  Do you find others gravitate to you because of your wisdom - or shun you because of your careless words.  We all need to pause on that one.

And with that - I need to get on the work computer.  Thanks again, son, for getting things fixed for me!

Blessings!

This is crazy - it's messed up again!

 The blog is back to messed up - and I can only play with it to get it usable.  I probably should just wait until I get on the work computer and work it in between work.  But I have it big enough now that I can see it so will see how this goes.  Distracting to say the least.  

My SIL and daughter brought over the grill last night.  No, I haven't used it yet. It's on the back patio and hubby now is afraid someone will steal it - although the neighbor behind us and the one attached to us - both have their grills (much nicer, I'm sure) sitting outside in the back.  But I get it.  This one would be much easier to pick up and walk away with.  He even left the back porch light off last night. In all fairness, he did ask me what did I think about the light.  A few years ago he had started turning it on and a neighbor said he appreciated it as he walked his dog at 5AM and it helped him see in our area if any coyotes are there.  Hubby has just continued turning it on every night.  It old him to leave it off; we don't see this guy nor do we even know if he still has his dog or walks it.  So off it was.  I hope to read up on the instructions sometime today or tomorrow and use it this weekend.  At least the airfryer part.  Curious how it all works.

Work wasn't too bad yesterday and I was able to keep up on the daily stuff.  But I do need to start scheduling meetings for 2026 so that will be my focus today.  I've noticed other meetings coming through and if I don't get them on the calendar, I will be the one having to move them.  This is very time consuming, and I usually end up missing some.  At least I only have to do it for 3 or maybe 4 people.  It's a pain, trust me, for many of their meetings are recurring.  I did something last year I shouldn't do - I left some of them open ended so that I didn't have so many to do.  But let's see how that is going to work out this year.

Hubby has a huge testing this morning for the cardiologist.  It can take 2-4 hours - and since it is 'just' testing, I am not going with him.   He is to take the last two lab reports and give to the technicians, ask them if they will be using dye.  I may have mentioned this yesterday.  If so, they cannot for that will destroy what is left of his kidneys, if they are indeed diseased.  (Hubby has increased his water intake to 80 oz a day (per the doctor) to see if it is just dehydration (because he doesn't drink a lot of water) that is causing the bad report.  I bought him a 40 oz cup so he knows how much he drinks.  Two of those would be his 80 ounces.  He grumbled all afternoon about being 'water-logged'. LOL  If they use dye, the test will be cancelled. But I did read they use magnetic something or other - and that would be ok.  I think.  The cardiologist says the top of his heart is fine and beating properly, but the lower part is beating way too fast. I had no clue our heart could beat differently in the areas.  Oh well. Shows how much I know!  So he will be leaving for that shortly.

I have my follow-up doctor appointment next Tuesday - but I think the only two things in the red on my labs were 1) specific gravity - and I looked it up and it says that I may be drinking too much water.  LOL I think I range 90-100 ounces a day - just because I drink a lot of water throughout the day.  I forget what the other was, but it wasn't a problem, as far as I am concerned.  So I'm going in it fairly confident I will have very few changes to make.  I can't believe the difference with a check up with Dr. Mark versus those I've had with the other 5 doctors since I left this practice.  Seriously.  All the others did was labs, and had me go get mammograms and bone density tests - and that was it.  Dr. Mark checks everything - and prods around the belly area to make sure things are where they should be.  I feel more confident I'm getting a well-check-up than I have in years.  Now to keep myself healthy and strong.

Speaking of strong.... I had HIIT last night (High Intensity Interval Training) and my body is pretty stiff this morning!  No tire flipping this time, but did slam a 14 pound ball down and then throw it into a net and catch it a few times.  But the one that I always 'hate' and she knows it - is pushing a 45 pound weight down the 'path' on all fours - only last night she was having me push the 45 pound weight a third of the way down, then push a 30 pound weight to the end, then a 20 pound weight back to the middle, and so forth.  All three times.  My body was screaming cause you have to do this on all fours - i.e., feet and hands on the weight and pushing.  Not my favorite exercise to do. I did ask her what it was supposed to do for my body - and she said it is really an over all exercise - but mainly legs.  Yeah.  That too.

I was reading in a book this morning about Pride, and how pride keeps us from doing some things, and pride also causes us to do some things.  Does that make sense?  Pride is one of the major reasons we do not pray.  Why? Because it over estimates what we think we can do.  For example, we think we can manage our lives all by ourselves and to things on our own - so we don't pray and ask for God's help.  We depend upon ourselves to keep ourselves healthy, to take care of our finances, to do whatever it is we do. So we don't pray and ask God to help us, because we are too proud to ask for His help.

We should repent from our pride immediately, and ask God to help us seek Him in all circumstances. Whether it is for a good doctor's report, a great report card, a healthy bank account, great relationships, whatever it is - it can only be better when we put down our pride and successes and seek God's hand over it.  I have seen God's hand on our finances; I have seen His hand on our health; I have seen His hand on relationships.  I'm sure there are much more.  But first, I have to lay it down before Him and tell Him I can't do it - and ask for His intervention.

And when God intervenes, my life always gets better.  And yours will too, if you will let go of pride, trust and believe in the goodness of God.  I know people who feel that when something good happens for them they proclaim the blessings of God.  And that is good.  But I have also seen those times when people struggle with pride and do things that do not reflect God's glory.

And that is why we are here.  We are to be a reflection of God's glory, and we are to bring Him glory. Does that make sense?  God created the earth, He created us, that He may receive the glory.  Only He is deserving of it.  Not you, not me.   Some days I feel I am so unworthy of any of His blessings.  But He is God and I am not.   So glad He sees the big picture and I'm not controlling it!

Ok - I got to get on the work computer - my time is up!  Hope that you have an amazing day.  Lay down that pride and pick up the mantle of being humble, and let God be God.  Cause you nor I are God, and we can not do His work unless He gives it to us - to bring Him glory.

Blessings!

It is back to normal - what happened?

 Wow - my blog is back to normal size now.  I wonder if my son went in and worked on it - but then, it would have appeared normal on his computer, cause it appeared normal on my work computer when I brought it up. I don't know - but it's back the way it should be.  Thank You, Jesus!  (It's the little things that make a day great!)

Doctor visit with hubby yesterday was revealing.  Things are going on that even Dr. Mark said he didn't understand - but was sending hubby for tests to get to the root of the problem.  Everything had been on track.  Hubby's memory was deteriorating somewhat (old age), but his health, other than the prostate cancer, was good. Now hubby has lost 12 pounds in last month; of which 6 were in the last week (from his last doctor visit).  Doctor is very concerned. No explanation for the weight loss, other than we have skipped a few meals if we eat a big lunch - but why haven't I lost weight?  And, trust me, I have not.

Hubby is gaining yet another doctor, for which he is somewhat depressed about, but is necessary in order to find out what is going on. He has a 2-4 hour nuclear test tomorrow on his heart. Since it is a test, we are thinking I don't need to go with him. He probably will not see that doctor.  And Friday has another Lupron shot, and I don't need to go with him to that one.  I missed almost four hours of work yesterday, but still was able to get everything caught up by 4PM.  Grateful my boss said I could flex my hours if need be. I will try to always complete my work/meetings before I sign off for the day.  As long as I can keep up with my work, I'll be ok.  If I get behind and can't catch up due to being gone for doctor appointments, I may have to 'retire' to be available here.  Which is an odd feeling; I don't want to 'retire' for that reason - I want to 'retire' so that I can have fun. Does that make sense? Once I resigned myself to the fact that I will work until I die.... I got over my frustration and hurt with hubby telling me I couldn't retire. And I have to admit, I love having my own money to spend - and spend it I do!

Now that I have a grill, I can make it easy on my children for Christmas gifts - lol - order us a package of Omaha Steaks - for $79 you can take care of both of us!  LOL  

Have that dull headache again this morning.  I slept pretty good until about 11:10PM when I woke up - and from there on it seems I just dozed off and on.  If I get a break in things, I may end up taking a nap. Or not. I do have work to do.  Still need to get started on meetings for next year and get these extended.  

One of my thoughts in the middle of the night was that I was to have breakfast with my favorite boss this morning - and then I remembered, we moved it to next Wednesday with my taking off for the doctor appointments the past two days. Wasn't sure how far behind I'd be getting.  I'm not really behind at all, but it's ok to move it out to next week. One of the colleagues that I am covering for will be back today, so that makes it a lot easier than it was.  The higher the leader (and her leader is above mine), the more difficult it is to get meetings scheduled.

Until hubby gets the test results back, I'm not going to write any more.  Our 'assumptions' of what could be - may not be. And I pray it is just false tests.  But my mind is prepared should they are true. But we just don't know.  Hubby is dealing with it fairly well, after the initial shock of the news - which neither of us really expected.  But we will wait and see what the tests results show. I am praying for a miracle, for healing, and for long life for hubby. Yes, 88 is a long life, but I don't want it to end in pain.

My SIL and daughter picked up my grill and table yesterday - I may have it back by this weekend. Then I need to learn how to use it. I have a couple things already planned on Saturday to do, so will see if I can read up on it and understand all the instructions - and then do it 'my way'. :-)

Ephesians 5:1 (ESV):  Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children.

We are so loved by God.  Why is it so hard to be 'like Him'?  Some of us think we ae doing pretty good at following God, but are we LIKE Him?  Are we following Jesus?  Are we 'like Jesus'?  I will admit that I fail many, many times as I try to follow Jesus.  I say I am a 'Jesus follower' or 'I follow Jesus' - but am I consistent with that?  No, admittedly, I fail continuously.  I don't pause and think about how He would react to things - I allow myself to react.  I don't always seek His wisdom to proceed on a task or even in making a decision - until after I have already made the decision (and usually fail) and decide maybe I had better check with God.  Why is that? 

I can probably tell you why I fail at so many things.  Honestly, I used not to be what I am today.  I can remember (yes, I remember!) how sold out on Jesus I used to be when I first followed Him. I memorized scripture, I studied the Bible, I sought Him in prayer continuously, I asked Him about everything.  Then I got hit with a couple whammies.... I won't go into detail with what happen, but one of those things shook me at my very core of who I was. My identity in Christ felt attacked.  And I have struggled ever since to lay everything down and leave it at the foot of the cross.  It is way too easy to pick up the hurt, the pain, and continue to allow the thoughts to enter my head of "who do you think you are?" "You are a hypocrite".  And many other comments.  I know that is the devil putting those thoughts in my mind to tear me down, and some days it is all I can do to declare the goodness and forgiveness and mercy and grace of God upon me and upon my life.  I know God has forgiven my past. I know in these certain circumstances I have done no wrong.  I just didn't do what the other people thought I should do.  I didn't behave the way they thought I should. My Christian walk didn't measure up - when in reality, I would say their walk was the one in question. Pastors have crushed me; family has risen up against me at times.  My tender shell that I once wore has become a bit more tougher over the years.

I know who I am in Christ, and I choose Him.  I will follow Jesus - all the way. I may stumble along the way, but God's grace always picks me up and carries me onward.  All I have to do is confess my sins, my helplessness at being anything without Him.  

Psalm 23:3 (ESV):  He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness, for His name's sake.

And He will restore your soul as well, if you will let Him.  Why not take a few minutes to pause and reflect over your life and see where you need to get it straightened out to align with Jesus.  You will never regret following Jesus. 

There is a movie we watched a long time ago and I have never forgotten it.  Cheryl Ladd stars in it, I believe.  Tho none go with me is the title, I believe.  Once she became a Christian (in the movie), she had some hard choices to make.  But she stuck with it, and I have it written in my Bile as a reminder to myself....

Tho none go with me, still I wlll follow.  I will follow, all the way.

Will you?

Blessings!