I know, finally, huh?

 I think that I have decided - at least during the week, that I will write this from my work computer. For one, it's easier to type sitting at the desk, plus a bigger screen, and a detached keyboard.  It's just easier.  With watching my time in the mornings, and times that I do fall back to sleep, it's just easier not to put the stress on me to type anything.  But, alas, the morning is also getting away from me so I need to 'get on it', right?

Yesterday was a good day.  I enjoyed my lunch with my youngest son and his family.  I laughed - he gave me a cup that says "Not my monkey, not my circus, but I definitely know all the clowns!  Cute!  Plus he came me a box of fudge they bought when they went to Indiana last year (had in his freezer) from Uranus. And I'll leave that there.  I felt my spaghetti had too much tomato taste, but it wasn't bad.  Still have lots and I would suggest for anyone wanting a bag that I have put in the freezer.... either add red pepper flakes or cook up a batch of Italian sausage and throw in with it. In fact, I think I have some in the freezer and next time I take out a bag (probably in a month after two days of eating it right now), I may just do that. It was good, and the longer it sets the better the flavors will meld, but in tripling the batch, I probably should have cut back on some of the sauce.  Still, it was good.

I met with Sue this morning for our 1:1 monthly call - and we were laughing cause she is in the process of telling her direct reports she is retiring and this was 'my call'.  I really will miss her, as you know.  But, I am so happy for her.  Depending on who replaces Brett - who is now completely gone - and Sue in a few months - well, I don't know what I'm going to do just right now.

I'm finally starting to feel better which is a great plus for me.  Hubby is now doing the coughing routine so I've been giving him Allegra like I was having to take.  He sees Dr. Mark on Wednesday for a regular visit so I'm sure Dr. Mark will prescribe for him some of what he prescribed for me.  Didn't this what I had was contagious - but perhaps it was.  I tried to be careful. My antibiotics are now all taken; no longer need the Afrin nasal spray - still taking the Breo inhaler for now until I see Dr. Mark and ask him if I need to stop. Still taking the Allegra so that I can stop this mucus stuff - dry it up. It's for allergies so I'm hoping it will. But at least I feel like I am coming more alive, so that is a good thing.  Still have my occasional cough, but am doing much better.

I have a few errands I need to do after I get off work this afternoon.  Have a bag of coffee grounds I want to drop off at a granddaughter's for her garden - I picked it up at Starbucks Saturday. May take her a bag of spaghetti sauce. Tell her to add to it. :-)  Need to return some things to Amazon so will be making a trip to Staples to drop them off.  My daughter called yesterday and asked if I had my camera up yet (no) so told me she had arranged with her daughter to have her husband come over tonight to hang it up. I text'd my granddaughter this morning to hold off a week since Grandpa was sick.  There is no rush getting the cameras up. If it was, I'd have someone do it - but there isn't.  Those eggs won't hatch until we are gone on Jailbreak - you just watch!

Speaking of - 17 more days until Jailbreak Getaway!!  I decided to take the 22nd off as it is hubby's birthday and will take him to breakfast or lunch - he does love to eat.  Daughter will be flying in that afternoon so perhaps we can do dinner as well.  I don't care. It's his birthday, he will be 89, and since I will be gone for nearly 4 days, I need to let him have his day, right?

I start back to the gym tomorrow with Morgan. I'm letting her change up my schedule as she is trying to eliminate nights now. Bad for me, but good for her.  7:30AM in the morning; then 1PM on Thursday.  Yeah, I'll have to take off work more than an hour - but I can make it up so not a big deal. I chose times that Sue would be busy. She doesn't care, anyway. Of course on Wednesday I will be gone about 3 hours with hubby to see Dr. Mark - 50 minutes there, an hour visit, 50 minutes back.  I may have to retire after Sue does just so I can have the time to take him to his doctor appointments!  Yes, I have to let hubby drive to his gym appointments, which he did cancel for this week.  I can't take all that time off work. When/if I ever - I retire, I can go to the gym and get some cardio in.  If I want. Or I can stay home and enjoy the alone time. Which actually sounds like more fun to me, if you know what I mean.

Well, I've rambled on enough this morning and I'm sure you are tired of reading. I'll get in sync soon - but for now - hope that you have an amazing day!

Blessings!

Finally!

 Well, it has taken me all day to get this far!  You'd think with Brett leaving and giving me no meetings these past two weeks, I would have this done right away.  Well, I was awake all night coughing every ten minutes, I think!  Couldn't stop coughing, no matter which way I laid.  Even got in my chair and tried to sleep. That didn't help either.

But with that being said, I think I am finally starting to feel better, the draining is drying up.  Yes, I am hacking more (not coughing, hacking), trying to get stuff up but it is drying up so isn't coming up.  But I am getting better!  Although right now I'm feeling pretty tired - I didn't get a nap in today!  Why?  Today was Brett's going away party in Mesa (that I was able to get out of). and I did get online to listen to what everyone had to say.  A lot of positive things - and Brett is a good man, and is very intelligent.  It's just in my opinion, he seems to be a title seeker versus  - well, I don't know what.  His complaint was three times he was offered a different title and more people.... and he didn't get it.  So he's leaving.  To go from 'Chief' - which is senior leadership, to 'President' and he has no clue (in my opinion) as to what he is getting in to. BUT - not my monkey, not my circus! 

Now to pray that whomever takes his place is someone I can enjoy working with. It's going to be bad enough to lose Sue at the end of July.  I'm still flipping on my thoughts. Interesting, no one asked me if I was leaving because Brett was; I guess I've been pretty vocal on how he drives me crazy.  In fact, when I called in today at the party, I told him he was my thorn in the side for meetings, but I appreciate the things he taught me and wished him the best.  See, I can be nice.  But I imagine, with everyone knowing how close Sue and I are, I will get asked the question about retirement. And right now, I'm not sure what I am going to do.

It's like going to the store with no money, and you see everything you need, and want.  But when you get the money and go back to that same store, you can find nothing that interests you.  Right?  I finally got 'permission' from hubby to make the decision, and I can't make it. As long as he fought me on it, I'd fight with him about it being my decision, not his.  Now that it's my decision; I can't make up my mind.  I think I forgot the bills I get stuck with....  his and my cremation bill for one.  Got another 2-3 years on that one.  And, I'd have to 'lose' the gym training.  We could still go to the gym for I'd be joining 'silver sneakers' like hubby has - no cost.  But.... no training.  I need that strength training.  I may be working until I die, whether I want to or not.

Hubby offered to go pick up lunch today - so I ordered from Zupa's.  Their ham and provolone sandwich on ancient grain bun was so good. The bread was so soft!  And you always get a chocolate dipped strawberry.  Yum. Which reminds me, I still haven't found out about my oven and stove.  I got baking to do!!

I still have bags of candy.... wonder if my oldest son is still wanting them for his trip this weekend.... tonight hubby is gone to meet his friend.... and tomorrow morning is his bible study and possible visit with Chuck. He doesn't go every week so I won't know until tomorrow.  Just saying.  I did take a few bags to the doctor's office the other day. The girls love me. :-)

Hubby finished up my laundry today, I see.  Always nice to have clean clothes.  I'll strip this bed tomorrow (and spray the castor oil drippings) and wash while he is gone cause I just don't want to deal with his questions. I don't think he knows what I'm doing. But with that being said... here I am spilling my guts out in 'public'. LOL  My son mentioned something about deworm or something like that earlier today.... that is what I heard this castor oil does when it is put on the abdomen on a pad  and left there for a few hours. That's the purpose of all this castor oil stuff. Read up on Tavio - that's one of the brands.  It's interesting.  

Well, my work day is nearly over so I'm going to close on here as well.  Need to start closing off my calendars and go sit my butt on the couch for the evening. Or maybe I'll work on my diamond art since I am feeling a little better.  But rest and a movie may be better too, right? LOL  I have no idea what I'm going to do - have to wait til hubby is gone to decide what I want to do. :-)  Besides absolutely nothing.

Have an awesome evening - maybe I will get back on track by the first of next week.

Blessings!

A bit better, I think...

 I did take a nap yesterday morning as I sat in here, for about an hour, I think. When I finally came out, I fixed a shake to soothe my throat, and it helped. I stayed on the couch most of the day.  And I can't believe I slept even more!  But, as some people say, if you don't feel good, let your body rest, and sleep, for then it is healing.  I had a dull headache when I woke this morning but I think that is because I slept so sound and deep last night. I didn't think I could sleep with all the sleeping I did yesterday - but I did. I awoke at 3AM, told myself to go back to sleep, and did, for another hour.  Hubby has brought my coffee in and my head is feeling better.

I'm having to cut my time short this morning as I have a 7:10AM appointment down at the imaging place for the annual 'squeeze'.  Such (cough) fun.  I need to make sure I wash all the deodorant and lotions off my upper body so that they can get good pictures and I don't have to come back.  I believe I'm the first one so I should be able to get in and get done quickly.  I am working today, afterall.  I really want to take a shower and wash my hair, but will wait until I get back home.  Don't want to go out with a 'wet head'.

I spent most of yesterday on the couch, dozing, or reading.  We did watch a couple movies last night and even then we went to bed at 8PM.  Twenty years ago I would never have thought I would be going to bed so early - and WANT to go to bed early.  I guess 'getting older' plays a large portion of it.  I do get up at 4AM as a rule, so in reality, I'm still not getting 8 hours of sleep.  It just 'sounds' like I'm getting a lot of sleep.  Do I like getting up at 4AM?  No, not really.  But if I want to have quality time with God - alone - and time to write in here before work, I need to.

I'm 'rearranging things once again on what I do in here in the mornings.  I need to spend less time writing to God and spend more time talking to Him.  Does that make sense?  Many times it is so easy to stay curled up in my chair, wrapped in my blanket, and write out my prayers... but in reality, I feel so much closer to God when I get on my knees and talk with Him.  Even those times when I can't get on my knees, just opening my mouth and talking with Him like He is sitting across from me - there is such a good feeling, that I can not even describe it.  If you talk with Jesus, you know what I'm talking about.  You get it. Writing prayers is one thing; verbalizing is another.  I like to track things I write because I love to write how God answered that prayer.  I need to put together a prayer book like I want, and one that will be useful to me.  Not a journal, but one in which I can write down prayer thoughts and then eventually, the answers.  Yes, I know there are numerous prayer books out there; I just haven't found the one that I will use.  And now you can't even find a Christian book store to go into to browse - and I am sad about that. I loved to go and flip through books and see special gifts.  I miss Family Christian Stores.

My youngest sent me videos this morning of his Navajo friends getting the prayer shawl and the blanket I made for them.  They were so sweet.  I am glad they liked them.  I don't think I'm that good at making things, but I love to make them and give them away.  Which reminds me, next Saturday is 'Needles of Hope'.  I don't have many blankets to take this time - I think I took nearly 30 last month.  They are asking for prayer shawls, but I don't know that many patterns and so I let the others make them.  Mine are fairly plain, still effective, but plain.  One of these days I will actually go and pay a shop to teach me how to do some things.  

I find it interesting that after Dr. Mark gave me a clean bill of health, I started having all these 'health issues' - minor things like the sore throat, headaches, etc. - could it be that God is just keeping me humble?  LOL  I shouldn't have 'bragged' (and I tried not to) that Dr. Mark said I was healthy.  But I have strived to be healthy and it felt good to actually have a doctor do tests and come back and tell me I was ok!  I'm in God's hands.  If He allows sickness to come upon me, He will also walk me through it. 

John 3:20-21 (NIV):  Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear their deeds will be exposed. But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light , so that it may be seen plainly that what they have done has been done in the sight of God.

You may laugh at this, but in honesty, I sometimes want to do something 'mean' - and then I remember that God will hear and will see everything I do - and then I ask myself the question, "Do you want God to see that?" and then it's a big empathic 'NO' - so I can't do it.  You find yourself wanting to say things that you shouldn't say.... and your tongue feels like it is a washboard because you have bit down on it a few times - but when we withhold words that shouldn't be said, restrain ourselves from doing things we should do, we are being true to who we really are.  We really are not bad and evil people.  Think about that. When was the last time you withheld words or actions that you really wanted to do or say?  

Stay in the Light.

And it is a good thing when we let God have His way with us.  People who do evil things, say evil things, are always uncomfortable when they are around people who have higher values than they do.  Doesn't mean they are 'better' than anyone, it's just they hold themselves to a higher standard.  Evil people are just out to hurt people because they are hurting.  You know the saying, "Hurting people hurt people" - we've all heard it; we've all be the brunt of it; we've all done it, in one form or another.

But let us throw off the old self and lean into the NEW self that we are in Christ Jesus.  We can do all things through Him who gives us strength.  Always remember that.

And now, I need to jump off and get dressed to head down the street. Luckily it is only a few miles away.  Hope that you have a day that you can share with others the good things God is doing in you and in your life.

Blessings!

Best thus far!

 I slept once again in this bedroom and although I was awake a few times during the night, I am feeling much, much better today.  Thank you for your prayers.  I still have a bit of a ways to go, and yet, I feel rested - more so than I have in a long, long time.  Of course part of that may be due to all I've done is sleep since Saturday.  Well, I did have to work, bur two-three times (other than Wednesday when I was so busy) a day I was laying down (I did have permission from my boss!) to rest.  Sometimes you have to do that in order to get over whatever it is.

But last night another thought occurred to me.  I'm wondering if my gallbladder is started to act up in another way - rather than the nausea and pain I have felt in the past.  I'm not sure.  Or, it could be that I just have had no appetite (which could be a good thing) since the weekend.  I ate a snack bar for breakfast yesterday because I knew I needed to eat something.  At lunchtime, hubby asked to take me to lunch, and although I wasn't hungry, I agreed to go.  I got a cup of soup and a sandwich.  I was really looking forward to french fries, which I thought was included - even potato chips- with the sandwich.  It wasn't.  I was disappointed.  Hubby offered to order me a side of french fries but I declined.  Ate the soup, but the sandwich I couldn't finish, so hubby did.   Late afternoon my daughter called and asked if she could bring me some soup and a sandwich for hubby for dinner, so that I wouldn't have to cook.  What a blessing, cause I wasn't feeling too good last night.  She told me where she would get it from, and I told her what to get.  She dropped it off and headed on her way.  It felt odd for someone to do that for us; I'm usually the one doing, I think.  But it was very nice to be remembered.  

Work kept me busy yesterday and to end my day, sigh, the boss who had me making this huge meeting with about 16 people (with 8 being outside the company) in Colorado on Wednesday and it was such a difficult thing to accomplish, but we got it set for June 3.......  he tells me last night that I need to send an email out to see if it would be possible to move it to May 31.  I reminded him it was the day after Memorial Day.  Well, I told him I wasn't going to do it last night; I wasn't feeling well still and I just didn't want to deal with it.  He had me schedule for June 3rd and now that people are saying other things have come up - he wants me to change it.  So what did I do as well?

When hubby stopped by the door, I commented to him that now would be a good time to retire.  I'm tired; some meetings are stressful; and I'm actually afraid that I won't be able to have any enjoyment in retirement... after all, I could die before I retire or I could die right after I retire.  I really do not want to work all my life and then die and not enjoy the things I enjoy doing.  Course I have always said the year I had of not work (but still drawing a paycheck) November 2011 - November 2012 was my retirement.  But then, I was enjoying working.  Now, I'm just tired.  I guess I remember an uncle who worked all his life and one week after he retired, he died of a heart attack while mowing his front yard.  Of course you won't find me doing any hard labor, but still.    Hubby asked if I really thought we could afford to live on two social security checks - and I told him it would be tough, but we could.  Plus, I could get a part time job to have for spending money (i.e., Christmas, birthdays, etc).  I asked him to sit down and list every bill we have that we pays monthly.  Then we need to list those things that hit occasionally, i.e., dentist and doctors that we have to pay, etc.  Then let's talk.  He mentioned that I had 'set' the date... January 10, 2025... but I reminded him that it was also almost 3 years away.  And I'm tired.  At 75, how many years do I have left?   I don't know that I would retire anytime soon - I'd wait until January, anyway, if I did.  I can get Medicare for my medical expenses and they pay more than my current medical insurance does.  Once I'm back up to par, I may totally change my mind.  I definitely do not want to retire and sit at home all day!  I refuse to spend my day on a computer .... unless I begin my dream of writing a book, anyway.   At least this time he didn't walk away from my comment, but did engage in conversation.

I am loving my new Bible study.  I've done it several times before, but this is the first time in the updated version and it feels totally new.  I don't have time to finish today's session, so will work on it over the weekend.  It's 5 days a week and then has an extra 'day' to answer questions in a group study.  I plan to do those too, cause my sister and I are doing this together and we will discuss it on Sunday.  It really causes one to think.  How would you answer these three questions?

1)  was there a time in my life when I genuinely repented of (was aware of and turned away from) my sin?

2) Was there a time when I placed all my trust in Jesus Christ alone to save me?

3) Was there ever a time when I completely surrendered to Jesus Christ as the Master and Lord of my life?

2 Corinthians 5:17 (NKJV):  "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have been passed away; behold, all things have become new."

When we confess our sins to Jesus, they are erased and our slate is clean.  Not that we won't suffer any consequences of the things we have done that we shouldn't have, but the sin of what we have done is wiped clean.  It's good to start the day off with a clean slate, don't you agree?  Think about saying this to the Lord each morning...

Psalm 51:10 (NKJV):  "Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me."

Blessings!