Another quiet day at the office....

 My favorite boss is on PTO today- flying back east for a 3 week vacation.  She will be working off and on, and tomorrow will be back on the computer working, but I think it is next week she is taking the entire week off.  I think she comes back a few days before we leave on our vacation.  We will keep in touch - we do that - we are friends.  It should be a light workday unless my new boss keeps me busy - he did yesterday!  We talked first thing yesterday morning on Teams until he got a text to attend a meeting.  Yesterday was his birthday.  I'm thinking he is in his late twenties but it might be early thirties too.  Some day I will ask - not that it matters.  

I can remember working for bosses older than me.... but as the years have gone by, I can remember also when it began to change and I was older than my bosses.  At first it wasn't that noticeable... but as they years go by, I notice it more and more.  I am 10 years and about a month older than my favorite boss.  I love how she tells me that I inspire her - the more active I am and the more I do - it helps her to realize that as she is getting older that she doesn't need to quit living.  Right now she has been much more active than I, but she has a hubby who isn't afraid for her to walk alone in their neighborhood at 5AM, and he also likes to walk so he will occasionally walk with her - at her pace - early in the mornings before it gets too warm.  I tell her that her marriage is an inspiration to me... yes we have shared much over the years - I think we have known each other for nearly 30 years now, and we have been friends for as long.  Even the time we didn't work together, we would meet once a month and go walking together to catch up.  I treasure this friend and the memories we have together.

My youngest son called yesterday and we talked nearly an hour.  He wanted to upadate me on an incident that happened on Sunday.  The prayers I have prayed for this child... and his children... I still believe that one day God will answer... and yet, I know He has... but when we make our own choices - good or bad - we receive the consequences of such choices.  I want him to be happy.  I want him to be loved.  I just don't understand his choices right now.... he feels sorry for some people; they can't make it on their own... so he allows them to use and abuse him.  Not that he is perfect by any means... but he has a great life ahead of him if only he would believe in himself.  So I continue to pray that he will find Jesus in the midst of all these troubles.  

My middle child turns 50 in less than a week.  A milestone.  I received an invite to a gathering to celebrate with him.... but due to location, will probably not be able to go.  We didn't go to my youngest's retirement party at a similar location.... not that it would make a lot of difference because I don't have to drink to attend... but I struggle for I want to be a part of my children's celebration, and because we don't know his friends... we probably won't go.  I do appreciate the invite though.  I have something for him and will meet up with him soon to hand off.  There for awhile I was giving $20 to my children for their birthdays, but the last few years had stopped that... and even for the grandchildren, I've told some of them that once they graduate and have a job, they don't need $ from us.  I do remember to tell them happy birthday.  But I want to do something this year and have bought .......  :-)  

Since I've mentioend the two boys, I guess I can add on about my daughter.  I get to meet with her tonight for our 'girls night out'.  I'm trying to decide what crochet project to take to work on tonight.  It's fun eating dinner together - whether it's pizza or fried chicken from Church's - and then sitting down to catch up on life.  I treasure this time with her and there will come a time that these times will be but a memory.  She is always willing to help out family - and friends - however she can.  I know people sometimes think she is overbearing, but it is because she cares.  She - and her hubby - feel that God blesses them so that they can bless others.  And they really do try to.  Most things are done behind the scenes and are not even acknowledged.  They have always opened up their home to others.  They extend their hand to help anyone - until that person crosses the line.  

I try hard to let my children lead their own lives and not insert my own opinions. My heart often grieves for each one when they are struggling and I wish I could help, but I know that the only One who can solve their problems is Jesus.  So I do what I can - I pray.  I never wanted to be the meddling mother-in-law so have tried to not push my way into my boys' families.  You know the saying...

"a son is a son until he takes a wife; a daughter is a daughter all of her life".  

That is a true statement.  A daughter has no problem with 'running to mama' with their struggles and pains and sharing them.  A son feels like he must tough it out and does what his wife says.  Whether he agrees or not, to keep peace in his own family.  But even though they may do that, they are always deeply loved by their mama.

Think about your own children and how that has played out.   

Well, memories are flooding back on different things and I think I just want to ponder them for a few minutes before I need to start my day.  I miss my mama.  We weren't always close... various reasons.  But we did get close. Close enough I could share my pain and sadness and know that I was loved.  I miss those phone calls where I would share my day and my life.  I listened to her love and encouragement to hang in there.  Many times I would call her sobbing and she would comfort me, even long distance.  From my mama I got the saying.. "well, pray for .......  because they are going through a tough time and they need it".   I guess that is because when one is hurting, they will strike out at anyone, and many times I have bore the brunt of that hurt.

But there is One who bears everything for us - Jesus.  He took all our sins, all our cares, all the hurts and unforgiveness, all the pain... He took it all and died for each one of us.  I know I can't get through any day without His help.  Even in my failures, He is there to get me to the other side of it. When I am weak, He is strong.  When I am hurting, He is my Comforter.  When I am sick, He is my Healer. No matter what I go through, I will get to the other side, because I lean into Jesus for His help.

He's there for you too.  Rather than be alone, reach out your hand and hold on to Jesus.  You will never regret holding on.  He will get you to the other side of whatever is before you.  Hang on... cause sometimes life is hard.

Blessings.

Pies, neighbors, I live...

I made a pie for a neighbor the other day.  I asked hubby to take it over to her... and he wouldn't go unless I went with him.  So we both walked across the street yesterday to give to her (which she refused, by the way.  She is on a very strict diet, trying to lose weight.  Another reminder of how my backside is spreading from sitting all day and not getting enough exercise.  Walking a bit every so often just isn't doing it.).  In doing so, she announced to us that she is selling her 'house'.  And the way houses are going now, it will go quickly.  I don't know many of our neighbors.  I use the excuse I'm working and can't really get acquainted other than on the surface because hubby wants all my 'free' time and I am glued to my desk during the day.  This one is President of the HOA... and I'm nervous... hubby is the VP....  he told her she couldn't leave until December as that is when the terms are up, I think.  As VP he has contributed, but hasn't been in control of things - that is the President's job.  I don't feel he can perform at that level....and I know how he gets when he can be in control.  Unfortunately, no one is interested in stepping up to lead this section's HOA.  I forget how many 'houses' are in this HOA group.  Not a whole lot, maybe 20.  But it is a headache leading it from what our neighbor says.  She has shared problems with landscaping, people complaing, etc.  Prices of things have gone up so much... she has opted out of winter grass for everyone... she had to make that decision because the price was too high.  I don't want hubby to have to make those types of decisions.

I commented to our neighbor that I understood when she said that she was looking to buy a house.  I get it.  I love our place, don't get me wrong.  It's truly big enough for two people.  And I love the fact that other people take care of the grass.  But ....  I miss having a fenced in back yard in which I can let Sheeba out to run.  I miss getting to make the decision to plant flowers alongside the house if I want.  I miss being able to put things in the yard.  Yes, we have the front courtyard but there isn't much we can do there either.  It gets the full brunt of the sun most of the day.  At least Sheeba can walk around, but we have to be out there in case she decides to go over the 3 ft gate - which I don't expect her to, she hasn't tried yet, but there is always the first time. I miss the outdoor privacy.  So when we got home, hubby makes the comment "I'm not sure what I am more upset about... our neighbor moving, or you being disappointed in living here".  I can't win.  I had explained my comment when I said it.  So I explained it again to him.  I also have mentioned it before that I miss some things.  I've lived in a house for years; of course I miss having my 'space' outdoors.

Today is one of my boss' birthday..... the new one.  I will create a card and send to him although I don't have to, I did mail him one which he should have gotten Saturday.  I miss being in the office and getting to decorate their offices and fill with balloons and streamers.  I miss getting to make a big deal of birhtdays of friends and coworkers.  I miss being able to do things 'on my own' when I'm at the office.  

Wow.  I must be having a 'down time' with emotions these past few days.  I type and erase, type and erase, and unfortunately, leave typed things of no value.  Just rambling thoughts.  The option though is to leave the entire day blank, and why would I want to do that.  Leaving the page blank suggests that I did not live today.

I saw a movie (Shall We Dance with Richard Gere and Jennifer Lopez - great movie) that had the line in it, and I'll probably get it wrong, but that 'doing life with someone is a witness to your life, that you lived'.  Yeah, that isn't exactly what was said at all, but does that make sense?

When you have someone in your life, they are a witness that you have lived.   You are my witness of a sort, that I have lived.  I have bared things in these spaces that I could not share with others.  I hide behind the written words so that I can spill out my pain, my frustration, my fears, my thoughts.  Yes, I delete a lot, and I don't always make things clear, but I say enough that it releases a portion of my life that says "I live".

I guess I haven't thought about that so much until this moment.  I feel I don't have much of a life right now.  I feel imprisioned and held hostage.  And yet, I can do things here at home... I just have to deal with the questions and comments.  And I just want to be able to do something by myself, instead of hiding what I'm doing so I don't have to deal with comments. I want to be able to go through personal things without someone standing over me asking questions to which I don't want to answer.  But here, in this space, I am doing something by myself.  And currently, hubby seems to have forgotten about this blog, for if he remembers and decides to start reading it...I will cease to live through this blog.  I only know one person who reads this frequently, and that's ok.  My thoughts and feelings are just rambling words put on this screen.  They get it (at least I think they do).  I don't seek approval; I don't want criticism.  I just want to be able to say 'I lived today.'   They let me do that.

So for today, because I need to get off here and jump in the shower.... I have nothing to say.... other than for now, I live.  You are my witness.

Blessings.

Yesterday.

The situation in Afghanistan has really grabbed my heart as I have read and heard about the women and children .... things happening to them.  It breaks my heart and I cry out to God for His protection over them.  I pray for Him to protect the Christians and those who are in danger.  It grieves my heart and can quickly bring tears to my eyes.

I have prayed that God would break my heart for the things that break His.... and when I do that, like now, the tears can easily come and my heart will break.  I feel the situation in Afghanistan is breaking His heart, and He is allowing me to feel some of His grief.  All I can do is pray for the people.  And I believe He hears my prayers.  

Glenn Beck posted something on facebook yesterday and I could barely read it to hubby as I couldn't control my tears.  He said the last of their planes they had chartered to get people out of the Kabul airport had left.  There were thousands left in the airport, hoping to get on a plane.  The airport was closed. And they were going 'dark' until they were back home, to keep from being located.  My heart broke at those words... these people have no hope left.  And with 13 of our military killed by a suicide bomber there, my heart is breaking for our people who are ordered to go there to help, who may not get to come back home alive.  And all I can do is pray for these.  And believe He hears my prayers.

On a positive note, I have a dear friend in Louisana and Hurricane Ida is heading there; to hit today as a category 4.   My friend's area was hit bad with Hurricane Laura... so I sent him a note last night and asked how they were doing; that I was praying for him.  I received a response this morning that the hurricane is going to miss them this time (he is in St. Charles), but they are still in recovery from Laura.  After he gave me an update, he added, "I had some of your salsa yesterday".  When he and another friend stayed with us several years ago, I made Taco Soup and also my salsa.  They both asked for recipes.  Dean had taco soup every week for awhile, not sure if he still does.  Terry was always the maker of the salsa and makes it frequently.  Such dear, dear friends.  I thank God that Terry and his church are not in direct harms way, and continue to pray for recovery in their area. 

I actually got something productive done yesterday.  I cleaned out my pantry and started a list of what I am out of.  I always like to keep an extra bottle of mustard or ketchup on hand... and other items, but I discovered I didn't have any in the cabinet.  Not that it is a rush to go out and buy some - it isn't, but have it now on the list to pick up next time I plan a store trip.  My freezer is full and I need to start cooking more.... but we really don't eat that much when I do cook.... but I do need to clean out the freezer.  

I have 'joined' an 'air fryer' group on facebook as they are posting all kinds of air fryer recipes.  I have a couple air fryer cookbooks, but sometimes they are for fancy things that I don't want to mess with.  I'm a simple girl.  Throw frozen chicken legs or wings in the air fryer and cook... oh yum; twenty minutes later got some yummy chicken with minimum effort.  I have a pork loin in my refrigerator now to put in the air fryer perhaps for lunch.  I saw this recipe for one and it sounded so good so gotta try it.  Did you know that you can also put eggs in the air fryer and hard boil them?  Who would have thought?!  The problem for us is - neither of us eat an overwhelmingly volume (ok, I don't), and I don't want to waste food, so how much is too much?  This pork loin is only a couple pounds but it will last us two-three meals.   

I enjoyed some solitude this morning early before I started my reading.  I woke several times during the night and finally got up I think a bit after 4AM.  On a Sunday, no less.  I generally try to sleep until 5:30AM or so, but sleep was eluding me.... until I came in here.  It was nice to leave the light off and just talk with God.  And yes, I am sure that I dozed off some as well.  He brings me such peace that when I break away from my thoughts, from the busyness of things, He gives me rest.  I love this time alone in the mornings - which is why I choose to get up so early every day.  I simply must have this time with Jesus every day.  It's the only way I can make it through the day without crashing.  I lean into Him and He supports me, keeping me strong.  And some days I need it more than others.  Life isn't always as easy as it appears to others.  I believe you know that in your own life.  

How do you manage to get through your days?  I am trying not to dump a lot of stuff in here.. and in fact did a lot of erasing today as well.  That's how some of my days start out... some perhaps my fault, some not.  Life is hard.  

The only way I can get through each day is holding on to what Jesus said before He ascended into heaven - 

Matthew 28:20 (TPT)  "and teach them to faithfully follow all that I have commanded you.  And never forget that I am with you every day, even to the completion of this age."

You probably recognize that verse more from this translation:

Matthew 28:20 (KJV) "Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I  have commanded you; and, lo, I am with you always, even to the ends of the world. Amen."

Or perhaps this one....

Matthew 28:20 (NIV)  "and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you.  And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."

It doesn't matter what version one reads, they all say the same thing - Jesus is with us to the very end.  I believe that; I am living that.  And so are you.  Stretch your hand up and grab hold of Jesus' hand.  He will get you through every day.  

Blessings!

Hot and Heavy air... will we get rain?

 and yet, I gave in and went to the gym with hubby during the day.  After 30 minutes on the treadmill it was time to come home and get back to work.  Sometimes I like that physical break versus continuous working.  I'd rather go out and walk around the block and breathe fresh air, but it is too daggone hot.  It's like breathing in an oven.  

I heard today was another hot one but that weather disturbances from Hurricane Nora are getting ready to hit this weekend.  We generally don't get much rain where we are at; while others are reporting rain and hail, we get nothing.  We shall see how this plays out.  I found a new link that reports the weather - it's called Arizona Weather Force.  Interesting, this guy also posts on National Weather Force.  He is reporting about Nora on theArizona size, and Ida on the East side of our nation.  He is saying that if you livein the Pinal/Pima areas, "you are targeted for the worst of the severe storms as an impulse directly affects you with a developing easterly wave."

For the Phoenix valley, "you are within an isolated to maybe scattered type of event. This means that our activity will be hit and miss this evening and night.  Lightning will happen but only a severe thunderstorm advisory."  This part is funny.  "sensors in the low deserts are like Phoenix Valley would pick up the outflow yes, but temperatures at night will briefly spike as downbursts would provide 'heat-bursts'; something that has never been predicted before so I thought I'd shoot my shot like a kid shooting his shot to ask their crush to the prom."

Yeah... my mind isn't functioning yet to type anything but about the weather.  I had something last night... even had it played out in my mind how I'd say it.... but nothing is coming to me at the moment.  Need.more.coffee.

Ok then.  Just erased several paragraphs and still don't know what to write about.  I'm feeling mellow, I think.  Ever have those moments?  I say moments because I refuse to stay there.

I think we are planning on going to the gym again today.  It was kind of busy yesterday but am hoping it won't be as busy today.  I still was able to get a treadmill to walk on.  They have plenty of those.  But they don't have a stairmaster and I may have to improvise on 9/11 for a Team I have joined.

My company has sponsored in the 9/11 Never Forget Challenge that benefits the 100 Club and the Gary Sinese foundation.  I'm sure I have misspelled that... anyway - the challenge is to climb 2071 steps (same as the world trade center) on 9/11 in memory of 9/11.  Yes, I joined it, and I signed hubby up too, although he doens't like to do those things.  In Phoenix it will be climbing the stairs at the Gila River Arena... but we aren't going there.  I don't like crowds.  I don't know of any high school that we could go to and have access to the bleachers.  The gym doesn't have a stairmaster.... so my plan is to use the eliptical machine as stairs cause it can also go up and down besides as a step. 2071 steps.  I'm not sure I can make it myself.  Definitely don't have that leg strength anymore.  But I  am not on a timeframe, and can take it easy.  And then I got my youngest son to join me in another challenge - on 9/11.  Actually we don't have to do it that way as it is more of a 'do it whenever you want' 9/11 Never Forget challenge.  We already have our t-shirts and medals for that.  We plan to walk 6+ miles for that one and have been talking about doing it 9/11... so I will need to figure out which I'm going to do first.  I will be exhausted that night, for sure, but I do plan to do both.  Glutton for punishment?  Probably.  Wish it wasn't so daggone hot out, son and I could do an afternoon walk.

Well, I guess I am still drawing a blank this morning.  Probably should get moving and start on breakfast.  Probably bacon and eggs and waffles this morning.  And coffee.  More coffee today.  I think I need it.

Do everything in love, because love is of God.  

Blessings.

I blame it on the vaccine!

 I don't know what is going on, but this week has been exhausting.  Yes, I went to the gym one day, and I've used my weights here in my room, but not enough to make me as tired as I have been feeling.  Yes, my work has picked up - a lot - since I have added a new boss - but even so, it shouldn't make me as tired as I have been this week.  I haven't done enough of anything to be so tired.  What.is.going.on?!   I'm blaming it on the vaccine.  What else could it be? 

The other night I was in bed at 8PM and slept sound.  Oh wait.  I know why I'm so tired this morning.  Hubby didn't sleep well and ws tossing and turning all night - some times it doesn't wake me up, but when he tosses himself in my 2 ft area of the bed, it wakens me.  Ok, maybe it's 2.5 ft of bed I get.  Yes, he uses the rest.  Of a king size bed.    Regardless, we went to bed around 8:30-ish... and I was awake at midnight.  Dozed again, tossed and turned myself some, and finally was unable to go back to sleep from waking at 3AM and got up about 3:20AM or so.  I've tried to doze some in here, and in between readig, I think I have.  I'm feeling just so tired.

But - maybe it is also because it is FRIDAY.  Do the Friday dance!  Woot!  I have several things on my agenda to accomplish today.

Finish minutes from yesterday's meeting.  Find out how in the world did my new doctor's office come up with my old address and home telephone number after I wrote it on two papers for them, AND gave them a typed information sheet with our new address and my cell phone.. and saw it being typed into their records.  (yeah, I haven't figured that out yet - I got a letter yesterday from the doctor's office he was trying to contact me but the phone numbers are out of service.  Well, duh.  The letter was forwarded because they also sent it to the old address.  Where in the world did they get it?) Whatever meetings my bosses send me to create.  I glanced at Outlook on my phone this morning.... since 4PM yesterday I have 23 messages.  Some will be meetings I will need to accept for my bosses, some will be from my bosses for me to create meetings, some will be asking for information. Create new meetings. Check out some meetings that are on one calendar but not on others. Can't wait for 4PM to arriave already.

I just remembered.  I am covering for a co-worker who is leaving today for a week in Hawaii.  She supports about 10 people.  Most will not have anything for me to do, but three or four will.  I think this next week is going to be horrendously busy for me. I'm tired just thinking about it.

I got a good laugh yesterday .... during the meeting I was in to take minutes, our chief medical officer, Dr. Clarke, asked what the drawing I use as my 'photo' meant.  So I told him.  My former boss, whom he worked with as well, drew it for me, taking my name and because it means 'explosion of a star' and 'new' ...  and took my last name which could be a forest .... and make this 11x17 drawing in pastel colors of what could be an exploding star.... only she made the explosion in design of flowers.  It is really very pretty and I have written before that I had it framed.  Still haven't hung it up yet (not sure where to put it - still thinking about it), but soon.  Everyone chuckled and said that perhaps a drawing could be made of his name and for me to ask.  What they didn't know, was that I could.  And I did.  I text'd my old boss and told her what happened, and asked if she ever came up with something for Dr. Clarke's name, I would be happy to come pick it up.  She responded - and I quote:

"If Dr Clarke had as remarkable a name as Nova, maybe I could think of something...But he doesn't! LOL"    

And I couldn't wait to send Dr. Clarke this note:  "Dr. Clarke, I am so sorry, but this is the message I received from Mary (my boss): "If Dr. Clarke had as remarkable a name as Nova, maybe I could think of something...But he doesn't.  LOL"   Dr. Clarke, I'm so sorry that I am more special than you are. :-)  And of course he responded with an "LOL".  Glad I have a friendly relationship with him where I can get by with that!

Job 8:21 (CEV)  "And so, he will make you happy and give you something to smile about."

Find something to smile about today.  It's going to be a good day.

This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.  Make it a point to be happy today - bring a smile to someone's face.  You will find you are smiling too.

Blessings!

Knock down those giants!

Where do your thoughts go when you hear the word 'giants'?  Many of us will immediately turn our thoughts to David, the great giant-slayer, in the Bible.  He slayed Goliath - the giant who came up against Israel, the one who mocked God and David knocked him down with one stone thrown from his sling shot.  Remember that story?  I think every child who hears that story for the first time looks for a sling shot so that they too can slay giants.

But what about the giants we create or come up against us; the ones we have in our lives?  Our giant can come in many forms.  It can be a health issue that has become our giant.  It can be a financial issue.  It can be people in our lives who are a 'giant' of annoyance.  Some giants we place in our life, some giants we allow in our life, and some giants have taken over our lives.

IT IS TIME FOR OUR GIANTS TO FALL!!  Get ready to be undone, completely and totally undone.  God is unleashing His outrageous love in your life, and you will be amazed at what He is about to do for you.  It is time for your giants to fall flat on their face.

Have you prayed about your giants?  God has heard those prayers.  Have the giants in your life brought you to tears?  God has seen those tears.  Have you stood against these giants and with shaking legs felt you will fall?  God has seen those shaking legs.  The enemy of this world, the devil, seeks to steal, kill, and destroy.  But God makes you STRONG.

It is time for you to let go and let God take over the things you have allowed to be your giants.  It is time for you to cross the threshold of opposition and step into the joy of breakthrough.  Now is the time to be joyfully expectant, to allow yourself to be filled with anticipation of what your future can be.  It's time to be confident, not because things can happen the way you want them to, but because you trust God to do things His way, which are always better.

Anchor yourself in God's promises, for they are always true.  Don't know His promises?  Pick up your Bible and start reading.  God's promises are all over the place.  Soon you will see the fruit of what He has already put into action behind the scenes.  You will be surprised at the victory He is releasing and bewildered by the way He brings those things to pass.  

How many times has something happened that seemed odd and out of the ordinary and the result from that was something totally different from what you expected?  An  example could be when I fell years ago and landed with my hand flat against the floor.  My wrist swelled up quickly with a bubble.  In spite of the pain, I kept pulling on my wrist to straighten it out; it seemed the bone was mush.  As I was alone at home, in fun I had sent a photo to my daughter that 'this is what happens when you stand on a three-legged stool and it folds under you'.  Thinking nothing of it, I went on with what I was doing as the pain wasn't too bad; I could deal with it.  I expected nothing more to happen.  Knock on the door revealed my daughter to take me to the ER to have x-rayed.  They said they couldn't find anything with my wrist, but my big toe, which had been hurt also, was broken.  I went to my doctor the next week as the pain in the wrist had increased and I couldn't use it.  He sent me for x-rays and recommended I wear a wrist brace.  Again the x-rays showed nothing.  Finally, on my third trip to get my wrist x-rayed because of the pain, they discovered a hairline break halfway through the bone.  As it had been a couple weeks since I had fallen, I was to continue wearing the wrist brace until it healed.  Totally expecting nothing but a bruised wrist, I had to show care and concern for what was revealed.

So what has the story to do with giants falling?  It was odd that I fell and out of the ordinary for sure.  But what I'm getting at, even with x-rays, no one could see what was going on with my wrist.  Three times it took for them to see that hairline crack because it was hidden even in the x-rays.  The pain became my giant; not the hairline fracture.  To overcome the pain giant, the fracture had to be found and allowed to heal.

Ok - so that's a lame example... let's put it this way....  what is in your life that is so huge, so debilitating, that it consumes you?  It could be a project on a job that you just can't get through.  It could be a financial issue that is looming at you and you don't know how you can pay it.  It can be a health issue that just keeps roaring it's ugly face and knocking you flat.  It could be anger issues, it could be children bucking against your 'rules', it could be loneliness....... whatever it is that is you feel fighting against you. 

Psalm 34:6-7 (TPT)  "When I had nothing, desperate and defeated, I cried out to the Lord and he heard me, bringing his miracle-deliverance when I needed it most.  The angel of the Lord stooped down to listen as I prayed.  He will do this for everyone who fears God."

Are you in need of giants to fall?  Take a moment and ask God to take care of whatever giant is wearing you down with it's persistence.  Ask for His intervention in whatever the issue is.  Allow God to work through whatever it is, and show you that He is bigger than any giant that may come up against you.  The end result may not be what you want, not what you expect.  But one thing I can tell you, when you release that giant to God, He will work for your good.

Remember the movie 'Facing the Giants'?  I love that movie and love to watch it over and over.  Why?  Because it gives me courage and strength to 'let go and let God' have control of anything that comes against me.  The God who allowed King David as a small boy pick up 5 stones as he walked towards the giant who was putting down His people, and to take one of those 5 stones and place it in a sling shot, slinging it hard enough that when it was released to hit that giant in the forehead and knock him unconscious to win the battle....... this same God who did all that....  will do whatever you need, for you.  Give it to Him.

Why would one want to hang on to their giant?  Let go, and let God have it.  You'll be glad you did.

Blessings!

Are you in the wilderness?

 Do you have some days in which you think that you just exist... that you are so tired and weary of life around you and what you are feeling and living seems so meaningless?  Perhaps you are in a wilderness - the wilderness in which you feel lost.  And lonely. And without hope.

Most, if not all, of us have been in that wilderness at some point in our lives.  Times when we have given up hope for life changing.  What has been, will always be.  We feel hopeless, unable to change.  It doesn't matter whether it is our choices in life - we do this or that; it doesn't matter if we think this or that; nothing seems to matter or make a difference anymore.  So many of us fall into that 'trance' at some point in our lives.  I know I have been there a few times.

And when one goes there to live, in that wilderness pit, it once again becomes a choice.  Do you decorate the wilderness pit, or do you decide you don't like to be there; you don't want to be there; and you make the determination that no matter what, you are coming out of the wilderness pit into Hope again.  So much of life is a result of our choices, whether we see it that way - or declare 'the luck of the draw' or 'dumb luck'.  It isn't luck to be sad, to be lonely and without hope.  God has not deserted you.

Hopefully you begin to look at your life to determine 'what is it that has brought this about?'  What has changed my attitude to be so negative?  What has caused me to be so critical and fault-finding about everything in life? What is causing me to feel - and to act this way?  What has made me so angry inside that I have pushed away everything and everyone that I love?  So many questions.  Have you asked them of yourself at any time?

I have.  I go through those times periodically as I know others do.  Life isn't easy sometimes.  People say things that hurt you and it causes you to retreat into your shell - or you get angry and critical and do all you can to put them down.... but the problem with either one of those 'solutions', is that it doesn't make you feel any better.  

Do you want to feel better?  Or even better than that... as Jesus says to us... "do you want to be healed?" What do we want Jesus to do to make us feel better?

Did you ever stop to think that the first step in feeling better is acknowleding the pain?  We can only ignore it for so long.  If the hurt we have received from others is held on to, soon the mental pain and anguish we felt becomes a physical pain... for which there is no diagnosis.  Our anger withheld is killing us, little by little.  Our hurt we hold inside of us, is causing breakdown of the body that gives us life.  I've seen people whose lives have become painful and full of wilderness-pit living... because they refuse to let go of that hurt, that anger, that pain they have withheld over the years.   They aren't any fun to be with, or even around them, for all they can talk about is their physical pain, their anger of the past, their path in the wilderness-pit.

Things that give you thought... or cause you just to skim over the words.  I don't know why all that came to me this morning as I sat down to write this.  I'm not in physical pain, I don't believe I'm in the wilderness-pit; but someone needed to hear they can have hope this morning.

Jesus has the life-rope to help you up out of the wilderness-pit.  He is extending it to you.... will you grab hold of it and allow Him to pull you out?  Don't despair if you lose your grip; reach out again and again, and you will find the rope always there for you to pull yourself out.  Jesus will extend and help you, but you have to make the choice to get out.  Will you?  Your Hope is Jesus Christ; He alone can save you.  Not your spouse, not your preacher, not your friend.  Only Jesus is your Hope to life.

'My hope is built on nothing less, than Jesus' blood and righteousness.  I dare not trust the sweetest frame, but wholly lean on Jesus' name.  

On Christ the solid rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand, all other ground is sinking sand.'

Stop sinking, and grab hold of the Rock, Jesus Christ.

Blessings!

Fear sometimes overwhelms life... and reality....

 Do you ever have those times that you feel overwhelmed with fear?  Fear for your children, for your health, for the world?  Yeah, those thoughts have been in my mind lately.  Things that go 'twinge' or 'ouch', your mind begins to wonder what is going on.  And when it doesn't go away, or it continues to 'twinge' or 'ouch'... one's thoughts can begin to wonder.... and mine have.  But I choose not to live there in fear because I know that no matter what, I belong to Jesus.  I am covered by His precious blood.  Nothing can penetrate unless He allows it.  I believe that, I truly do.  My children may walk their own path, but I pray the blood of Jesus over them.  They may have medical issues, they may have mental issues, they may have physical issues, but I believe that God will never allow anything that isn't first going through the blood of Jesus.  Things, bad things, can happen, yes.  And they may end badly for us.  BUT, whatever it is that we may go through, I know that in all things God will bring good from it.

Romans 8:28 says so!  "And we know that all things work together for good for those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose."

Jesus can take the worst thing, and bring good from it.  He can take a financial crisis to help you see (for most of us, anyway), that we need to spend less and focus more on Him.  Some people just don't get that... I know them... and I just shake my head.  Just because He has got you through a financial crisis and blessed you, doesn't mean to go spend what you have.  Yes, I have to rein myself in occasionally.  I make sure my bills are paid and I try to keep money back for emergencies.  But Christmas is coming and I am already buying things so that I don't have to rush in a few months.  My problem with that?  I sometimes will find such neat things I can't wait to give it to them.... and if they have a birthday between now and Christmas, it's so easy (and wonderful) to give them what I bought.  I love to give surprises to my children and grandchildren.  I even asked one son the other day if he wanted his birthday gift two weeks early!  He said no, so I still have it.  I've already given my youngest his birthday gift.... I bought he and I registration into the 9/11 Never Forget walk... and he has his t-shirt and medal, as do I.  Now I want us to plan when we are going to walk.  I see that 9/11 is on a Saturday so hopefully we can meet up and take that 10K walk (a little over six miles, I think it is).

Jesus can take a medical crisis and bring restoration... or He can let it run its course.  He has allowed it; perhaps it isn't about you, but about those who know you, that through that illness they will find Him.  We never know the outcome of what pain of loss has brought.  20 years ago this October 5th my daughter received her bone marrow transplant and has recovered from ALL + P.  What did that journey do for me?  It increased my faith in our loving Heavenly Father.  I often remember with tears of when she told me of her darkest moments, when she had all but given up due to the pain she was enduring.... and she saw her dad sitting in a chair, letting her know she will be ok.  But, the part that breaks me, is when she felt an arm across her shoulders, although she was totally alone in the room, and she knew that it was Jesus, and He told her that she will live.  He was with her, and she would get through it.  How could that not increase your faith?  To know that no matter how dark life gets, Jesus is always there to walk with you through that journey?

Oh how we all need Him desperately!  Life is hard, don't you agree?  Things don't turn out the way we planned, or even what we had hoped for.  Marriages we dreamed would be perfect years ago have not turned out quite the way we dreamed they would be.  Finances and jobs and health.... all these things have changed and some are not what we expected.  We get older, and our bodies start to break down.  The twinges and pains we used to be able to ignore, now pound on our nerves like never before.  The things we used to be able to brush off as non-existent... now roar their heads to be noticed.  

The only way we are going to get through this life..... is walking with Jesus through it.  Jesus said in John 10:9 (TPT)  "I am the Gateway. To enter through me is to experience life, freedom, and satisfaction."

Revelation 3:20 (NIV)  "Here I am!  I stand at the door and knock.  If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me."

Jesus is our great Shepherd, and He is standing at the door of our hearts and minds, knocking, waiting for us to open the door, so that He may come in and dine with us.  To live with us.  Are you willing to be open enough to open that door and let Him in?  He can change your life.  Oh, he won't give you rules to follow that you must do or He won't love you.... but His rules are in His Word, the BIble.  Read them.  It is your choice to believe and follow them.  We all fail at times, but our Lord is a forgiving Lord.  He will walk through this rough life with you.  I would be lost without Him.

What are you going to do?  Have you hit bottom yet and know you need Him to help you?  Do you have to hit bottom first?  Why not just sit back and ask Jesus to take over your life and help you in all things.  Choose Jesus.  He truly is all you need.  Trust Him.  Love Him. Worship and Praise Him.  

Life belongs to Jesus.  Choose Jesus, Choose Life.  Today may be your last chance.

Blessings!

All kinds of thoughts this morning....

 I sit here this morning with all kinds of thoughts running through my mind.  My devotional for today was about being free from the snare of unforgiveness.  As we all know, unforgiveness will keep you out of heaven, for Jesus said if we can't forgive others, neither can our Heavenly Father forgive us.  That's a conversation I've had a with a few people over the last couple of weeks.  But this morning I was thinking of myself.  Where am I in this unforgiveness?  I can't think of anyone that I haven't forgiven.... but I can think of some whom I choose to avoid when I can.  So, is that unforgiveness because they did something I feel was wrong.... am I holding a grudge.... or is it ok that I choose not to be close to that person?  I have siblings that I love dearly but choose to back away from when I don't care for their behavior.  It's not that I don't forgive them (nor do they ask for it), but their life and mine are totally different.   Just some thoughts swirling in my head this morning as I write this blog.  When someone hurts me intentionally or unintentionally, and knows they have hurt me.... but choose to believe they did nothing wrong.... I choose to stay away.  Is that wrong?  I am courteous when I am around them; I don't necessarily ignore them.... hmmm.

I finally got ahold of my big sister the other day and told her I (we) was coming to visit next month.  She actually seemed excited.  Her comment was "I guess I need to straighten up my room."  Probably because her son still lives with her so she shuts her bedroom door and stays in that room most of the time (according to her).  He dooes all the cooking and shopping for her; other than doctor appointments, I don't think she even gets out of the apartment anymore.  It's a one-bedroom so there isn't much room; her son sleeps on the couch.  I'm glad he is taking care of her, making sure she eats and is there when she falls.  I just couldn't live like that if I didn't have to.

We didn't do much yesterday.  We did watch our church service and Jentezen Franklin on the computer.  Both were great messages.  I love one of the songs that our church had during the service.  I've searched for the lyrics on google, but because I do not know the name of the song, cannot find it.  There is just a portion of the chorus that grabs me.  

"If all I have is Jesus, He is all I need..."   Some people would not understand why that statement grabs me, but it is a statement in which I truly believe.  If I lost everything... and all I had was Jesus... yes, I would be content for He is truly all I need.  Do you ever think about that?  Do you believe that for yourself?  I have a lot of 'things'.  I have a house, I have a roof over my head, a good job, the bills are paid... but if I didn't have Jesus, I would have nothing.

But I do have Jesus, and for that I am eternally grateful.  Yes, I fail to live as I should sometimes, but I know that I am forgiven and redeemed.  I know that nothing in my life matters, but Jesus living in me.  I am who I am today becaues of Jesus in me.  Yes, I still get 'attitudes'.... but Jesus helps me work through those so that I will be more like Him.  "If all I have is Jesus, He is all I need..." is a true statement.

Do you have Jesus?  

Another verse of another song was in my mind this morning.... "I'm going to see a victory, I'm going to see a victory, for the battle belongs to You, Lord.... "    What battle are you fighting alone, that if you will let go and let Jesus help, it will be victorious?  Everything may not end up like we want it to, but I believe that once we turn our problems, our issues, over to Jesus, He will intervene on our behalf.  

Want a financial crisis avoided?  Give it to Jesus and ask Him what to do.  Have a health issue?  Ask Jesus to bring healing and wholeness to your body.  Need to right a wrong?  Ask Jesus to give you courage to do the right thing - even if you are the one wronged.  You've heard the saying, "Let go and Let God".... sometimes it is the hardest thing in the world to do, because we think we can solve all our own problems.  But, sometimes, we need His help.

Will you let Him help you?  All you have to do is ask Him.  

Trust Jesus in His faithfulness.  Great is His faithfulness.   His faithfulness and compassion for us never fails.

Blessings!

A little memory...

 Several years ago in my senior year of high school I got acquainted with a young man who went to another school.  I met him at the job I had at W. T. Grant & Company.  He worked in the stocking area, I was a clerk.  I wasn't allowed to date, but we saw each other each time I worked.  My mother always took my paycheck, and what I was allowed to keep, I spent on my youngest brother, Buddy.  I look with fondness upon pictures of outfits I bought for him.  One was a green beret outfit... I wonder where that photo is now.  

Anyway, the guy's name was Wayne and we saw each other at work whenever we could.  Then, at a church youth party on January 5, 1967 at a youth leader's house, I met my children's father.  Wayne didn't go to church with me so he didn't attend any youth events.  I only got to attend a very few; depended on my stepfathers's mood if I could go or not.  But this one was special.  I don't remember the game we were playing, but in the game I was the 'Queen'.  It was at this moment I met 'him'.  All I remember of that night was this new good looking young man coming up to me as I sat on the throne chair, taking my hand, and bowing low, kissed my hand. Silly remembrance, you think?  I remember nothing else of that night.

I don't remember us ever seeing each other at church, but on May 7th,  this new good-looking guy came and sat with me at church that Sunday evening.  And, for the first time, Wayne came to church on Sunday night.  He must have known about Ralph... I don't remember details... I was so naive I probably told him... But I remember Wayne came in, and he sat down on the other side of me.  So I had this new good looking guy on one side, Wayne on the other, and all eyes of the church were on me.  I never listened so intently to a message before!

After church it was awkward, and we walked outside to the back of the church.  Wayne asked to talk to this new guy and the two of them walked off together.  Everyone who was watching all this happen were whispering "are they going to fight"? and I had no idea of what was going to happen.  Wayne and 'my new guy' walked off together and talked.  Then they both walked back to me.  Wayne gave me a kiss on the cheek and looked at 'my new guy' and said, "Please take good care of her" and he walked away, leaving me with 'my new guy'.  I never knew what was said in their conversation.   That's how gentlemen settled disagreements in my day. They talked it out.  My new guy had a future planned; Wayne did not.  My new guy was out of high school and into a Technical College.  Wayne was still in high school.  That is the only thing I can think of that Wayne would walk away.  He didn't think he could take care of me.  I have often wondered what happened to him.  I hope he is happy.  I think one time (many years ago) I checked around about him and found he was living in the same area he grew up in, was happily married, and had three children.

Sometimes memories are what we are to learn from.  But sometimes memories are things that come to warm the heart.  This is one of those.  

I wish I was not so naive about life - then and now.  In a brief conversation with my new doctor the other day, answering some of his questions, he made the comment "you have always had a controlling man in your life."  And that is true.  I was kept sequestered as I was growing up, not allowed to date.  Even getting to go to a church youth party was a rare event.  My mother should have told me some things about life, but did not.  So much I wasn't aware of growing up, not being allowed to go to school functions or activities, no dances, no shows, no dating.  I did get to go to one football game my freshman year of high school, but that was the only game I attended.  I don't know why I was allowed to - nor why I was never allowed to again.  And I did get to go to my senior prom, with my 'new beau' escorting me.  I had to be home at midnight.  After high school when I was 'allowed' to date some (always had to get my stepfather's permission), I had to be home at 10:30PM.  And I did go one time with a school mate .... perhaps that story another time, although I think I have shared it years ago.  

I feel like I'm in memory lane right now and don't really want to break away, but I hear hubby taking Sheeba out and I need to go set up the computer for Jentezen Franklin's service at 8AM.  We didn't go to church last night.  Had a very nice visit from my middle child for a couple hours in the afternoon, and we decided to watch that service online today too.  We'll go back physically next week.  We were relaxed and didn't want to clean up.  We probably should have gone in person anyway.  Our loss of fellowship with other believers.  The advantages and disadvantages of services online.  

Have a blessed day- today is Sunday - give to God what is His, and the world what belongs to the world.  Today is the Lord's day.  Rest in it, be thankful for all He has done for you.  Be grateful.  Be loving. Be kind.  Treat others the way you want to be treated.  Let go of grudges.  Forgive. Love. Let live.

Be blessed.

They aren't just 'words'...

 Yesterday I talked a little about the words we speak, and if they are critical or sharp, how they hurt others.  Interestingly enough, my devotion for today hits right on it - and I just want to share.  It's from "I Hear His Whisper".....

Beloved one, I want you to watch your words. Pay attention to what you say, because it reveals what lies deep within your heart. Do you continuously talk about things that disturb you?  Are you constantly complaining? Or are you giving me all of your frustration, in order to enjoy life with me? You can come to understand more about yourself by acknowledging what you talk about and then bringing those things to me so I can purify your heart.  Keep your speech in agreement with what I have declared to be true in my Word.  Remind yourself often of what I say. Let my Word sink into the depths of your being, until it becomes a part of you. If you will tune in to the sound of heaven, you will notice when the things you say contradict my truth. Speak words of life and light. Your words will bring a blessing or a curse, depending on which kingdom they agree with. They can connect you to the source of my limitless power or drag you down into places you should not be. Never think your words are unimportant. They are important, and I listen to every one.

"You can be sure of this: when the day of judgment comes, everyone will be held accountable for every careless word he has spoken. Your very words will be used as evidence against you, and your words will declare you either innocent or guilty."  Matthew 12:36-36.

Does that not pack a wallop?  I've been guilty of saying words I really didn't mean, but in hurt, or anger, or frustration, I let them come out of my mouth.  Have you had that happen to you?  I've learned over the years that even those who I noted did not yell or speak harshly about or against others, they too, are as guilty as me.  Words we speak are often repeated to others.... something to think about.   I am going to attempt to watch my words more closely.  If I have to remain silent, then I should remain silent.  I know many times I have wanted to say things in the past, but chose not to - just to avoid a screaming match or an argument.  Have you ever done that?  I guess I am the one confessing.  One learns from what they have experienced.  I was beaten with belts, hairbrushes, wooden spoons, and hands when I was growing up; along with words screamed at me.  My step father told me one time to 'go do the dishes' and I responded "fooey" - and then picked myself up off the floor across the room.  Yes, I had very poor examples.

Unfortunately, I know I passed some of what I learned on to my children in various ways.  Not intentionally, but because that is what I was shown, I didn't know life was any different.  Just like my abuse; we thought it went on in every family like that.  That is one of my prayers at times; that my children will want different for their children; there will be love spoken in their houses, there will be softness, kindness, and lots of love and care.  Have you passed any traits on to your children?  Are they ones you are proud of?

I actually had a memory I was going to share this morning about an incident with my children's father... but I think I will save it until tomorrow.  Today's words are more important.  I'll just say it was our first time at church together......  I may have shared it before, but because my son shared a memory on his blog yesterday, this one came to my mind.  I really do want to share any memories I have of time with their father.  Some words need to be spoken.   

Today is Saturday and I have my personal list of things I want to do today.  I bought some breakfast pizzas from Schwans this week so perhaps I won't have to cook breakfast... but I am changing my diet (again) to eat more healthy.... so I may avoid those.  I'm sure they are loaded with cholesterol.  I received notification yesterday from Sonora Labs that my test results were in.  I logged in and looked at them.  My doctor hasn't called me yet - and since I now I have the lab results too, he will probably call on Monday.  There are a few things that look like they may be 'issues' but the main one is cholesterol.  I keep thinking how I can convince him that I don't need to take a pill but will work on my diet to bring it back down.  I've done it before; I can do it again.  I just don't want to take a pill for which I can control what is going on.  I take a thyroid pill because I can't do anything about that.  But cholesterol is sometimes controllable.  I say sometimes because although we don't eat that badly at home, hubby takes two cholesterol pills to keep his down.  

Yes, I'm rearranging my 'diet' again to eat more fresh fruits and vegetables (been doing real good about that this week) and cutting down on my portions.  Of course the cheezits I had last night as a snack probably reeks of cholesterol... but I do love the saltiness of them.  The doctor advised me to cut back on portions (so I get 3 bites instead of 10?).  I love that he didn't say leave ice cream alone. Leave bread alone. Don't eat this, don't eat that.  He just said watch what I eat, and eat smaller portions.  Also walk briskly 30 minutes a day.  I've been able to do that the last two days.  Yes, hubby got me to go to the rec center with him.  He was patting himself on the back that he actually has gone 3 times this week.  I have gone two.   We have to pay a yearly fee for the rec center (it's mandatory whether you use it or not) so we may as well use it.  What is really cool about this rec center, the outside behind the building is all pool.  Over half of it is a pool maze that you walk through over and over again.  It also has a huge jacuzzi.  And it has perhaps 8-10 lanes that are roped so that people can swim laps if they want.  I get it - the maze is for people who don't want to swim, don't want to use weights or gym equipment, but are willing to get in the water and walk with the water strengthening their body.  Some get in with water weights in their hands, pulling them through the water as they walk.  The treadmill I get on is at the window and that is what I do while I'm walking; I people watch.  It's really interesting to watch them.

And now I'm rambling again so will hush for today.  Hope that you have an amazing day.  Take notice of your words today; are they kind? are they true? are they encouraging and building up others?  

Blessings!

The simplier days....

 I read my son's blog this morning and now my eyes are wet.  I hadn't heard that story he told before... and as amusing as it is now, I can see it happening then.  I believe his father was well respected in town.  I have a lot of memories - most I have forgotten, I admit, until something will trigger a thought.  I was so naive ... and still am in so many ways.... but back then, I didn't have a clue about life.  I'm glad I got to read that this morning.  Memories are sometimes a good thing, and some one can get lost in.

Yesterday was a good day for friends.  I forgot I was to have lunch with a couple of the executive assistants from work who are friends.  I always feel so inferior as far as knowlege of computer programs - I don't use them, never have, don't want to, don't want to learn.  They use them and talk about how helpful they are for what they do.  One supports the President and the other supports the Chief Financial Officer.  Thus far, none of my leaders have used these programs so why do I have to learn them?  I can go to the programs and get the idea of what they are for - but I am a 'hands on learn as I go' type of person... don't just tell me or show me a video.  I have to actually do the steps myself in order to learn it.  I suppose sometime I should...but why...   I think I don't want to learn because I don't plan to move up the ladder or change jobs.  Just leave me alone where I am.   Anyway, we had lunch yesterday and since I was with them, the two hours we were gone I didn't have to worry about.  We did talk some about work, but mainly about the struggles the one has in the process of her divorce and being a single mom to two young boys.   I just sit and listen.  She doesn't want advice; I'm not sure what she wants, other than an outlet to share her anger and frustration at her ex and the things he is putting her through.  

Then I got a surprise text in the afternoon from a friend that we often meet for dinner.  She said she knew it was short notice, but could we meet at Applebees for dinner... I checked and we had nothing going on so we met with them.  Great food and great friendship.  I love the grilled chicken, garlic mashed potatoes and broccoli at Applebees.  Seasoned just right and just enough for me. 

I am finding I am busy with gaining a new boss.  He doesn't have me do much yet; just a few meetings, but he does ask questions or I occasionally have directions for him to do something.  The 'other' new boss is starting to send things too - altho she is not officially my boss until the day after labor day.  I may have to learn the new programs because of her.  Not really looking forward to working with her, but I must remain positive - it may just be my fears of having to learn things I don't want to learn.

I have a lot on my mind this morning as I search for things to write about.  Thoughts come to me, but many I do not want to share.  No need to.  Just my opinions on things.  Or my comments.  My sister reminded me last night as we talked - about how sharp a tongue can be.  Luckily, this time it was not directed at me but at our great-niece, whom she tells others is her 'daughter'.  She has written the great-niece a note about something she doesn't agree with.  My heart is grieved; about the situation she wrote about, but more so about her letters.  I've been on the receiving end, even recently, and they are cruel and hurtful and sharp.  They are full of her feelings, her anger, that needs an outlet and it is a strike at anyone close to her.

Then I have to sit back and think about myself.  How sharp is my tongue when I talk to others.  I hope that I weigh my words and choose not to use them if they are sharp.  I know I do have a lot of thoughts about some issues, but I rarely will confront someone by letter - or in person.  I instead pray about them and ask God to intervene in the issues, or remove them from my mind.  And God answers the way He chooses is best.  I have to trust Him and leave my heart with him.

Oh man, I have written and erased in nearly every paragraph this morning.  Life is hard sometimes, and never to be walked alone.  But sometimes it is best to pour out those feelings - whatever they may be - out to Jesus and ask Him to intervene and take care of them.  Things still may not work out the way I want them to, but I would never want to anger or hurt anyone, by a critical and sharp spirit.  I would rather sit down one on one and talk it through and listen to them, and hope they listen to me.

Proverbs 15:1, 3    "A soft answer turns away wraft, but a sharp word stirs up anger. The tongue of the wise uses knowledge wisely, but the mouths of fools pours forth foolishness........ A wholesome tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit." 

Have you broken someone's spirit lately by your harsh words?  Perhaps you need to go back to that person and tell them you love them, and you didn't mean those words to come out like they did.  Perhpas open the door for a dialog about that situation; and for the most part, listen to what they share.  And if they don't want to talk about it, or share, you have done your part.  Sometimes people just want others to listen.  That's why we have so many counselors ... I wish we had better ones... but friends also can listen... don't need their response... just need someone to care enough to 'hear' us.  That helps a lot.

So today, review in your mind if you have spoken with a harsh or critical spirit - and go to that person to make amends.  In your frustration anger can come forth - I deal with that a lot - but I'm also learning that I need to maintain boundaries within my own emotions before I share what's on my mind.

The movie 'Walking Tall' just popped into my mid.  That was a good movie.  Walk softly and carry a big stick - right?  

Have a great day - be kind, speak softly. Love with all your heart.

Blessings.

The visit went well.... I'm his 'top' patient!

I made it to the doctor's office yesterday.  I was so surprised how efficient it is ran.  I arrived, stood in line, and when I checked in got to answer all the usual questions.  Then given forms to complete, I went over and sat down.  Usually one checks in and then gets called back.  I got there a little early because I expected to have forms to complete.  So I began on them.  Didn't get half way through them - and still 20 minutes BEFORE the time of my visit - I was called to go back to the room.  Interestingly, they weigh in the kg mode, so I didn't kow what it was.  I was told I could be told once we were in the room (HIPAA I guess).  I didn't ask - I knew what it was when I got ready to leave home; no need to hear it again.  As my information is inputted into the computer by the assistant, I hand him some papers.  On those papers I had typed everything out.  All my medical information; when and what surgeries I have had; when I had my last flu shot; dates when I got the dreaded COVID shots; the pneumonia shots; things I had completed on the forms they had sent out to me a few weeks ago - such as my grandparents and parents health issues and dates of death.  That was something I hadn't had to do before.  Then I added each of my siblings, whether they were alive or dead, and what health issues I am aware of that they have.  I also had a paper with all the doctors I see - from dentist to my last medical doctor.  After he leaves, my new doctor comes in.  And it is still 5 minutes before my scheduled time!  Right on time, my new doctor comes in.

Tall and lanky, I liked him immediately just by his body language.  He's friendly, he's down to earth, he looks you in the eye when he talks (when he isn't inputting information into the computer), and most importantly, he listened to me.  He loved the papers I had typed out with all my information - he doesn't have to flip through the computer or pages of their form - he can pick up my typed form and have all the information right there.  He told me I was his 'top' patient - he hadn't had someone do that before.  Yea me!  He asked specific questions and I responded.  He was concerned I hadn't had any tests in nearly 5 years.  Which is why I was again selecting a doctor who would care about me.  I loved it that the lab was just down the hall from him so got to stop there on my way out and get labs drawn.  He also gave me information I needed to call for my mammogram and Dexa (bone density test).  I made that call yesterday and left a voicemail and received a call back within the hour, got both tests scheduled one right after the other for September 1st.  The doctor said he would call me today with the results from my lab work.  I may have comments to share about that tomorrow.  I will admit, I am afraid my cholesterol may be elevated to where I will have to take medication.  Gluclose... I've always been right at 5.7 which is pre-diabetic/borderline.  I've been celebrating way too much lately with sugar laden ice cream and cake... and breads, and all that carb-laden food....  I wonder if I can talk him into a 3 month period where I can work on my 'diet'.

What did crack me up yesterday was when I was with the assistant and he was inputting my information.  I commented that I chose this doctor because of his excellent reviews.  The assistant said that the doctor is awesome (I agree) and will listen to you, will talk to you clearly so that you understand exactly what he is telling you.  He won't leave until you know exactly what he is wanting you to know and why you need to do certain things.  What made me laugh was the assistant said..."what the doctor doesn't like is people who come in self-diagnosed by googling their symptoms and then won't listen because they are so sure they are right."   Note to self:  don't google symptoms and tell him.

Back to work a couple hours later, I was pretty busy all afternoon.  Work goes on as usual - with or without me.  Updated my one boss on what the doctor said (yes, we are that close that we share that information).  Now to  get my lab results today (praying no medication for cholesterol), then pray about the upcoming tests.  I know that God is in control, no matter what.  I am in His hands.  Stay tuned.

Lately, for some reason, the weeks seem to be flying by.  This year is a couple months half over and ever so often someone will mention it is xx number of days until Christmas.  Glad I've already gotten started!  But time is flying by for me.  For others in this world, I'm troubled it may be dragging.  My heart is heavy over the plight of the fall of Afghanistan.  I've read of homes with girls ages 12 and over must be marked with an 'X' so that the Taliban can take the young girl and marry her off to their men.  If the house isn't marked, the entire family is killed.  I've heard women have had fingers cut off because they are wearing nail polish, they are raped, they are beaten, they are killed.  Being a woman, I am heartsick over what these young girls and women are enduring and will have to endure if they live.  I think of the young girl from my state who was helping the Afghan people and was kidnapped, raped, and murdered by the Taliban.  I had to spend time praying for them last night as I heard the information, and will continue to keep them in prayer.  O Lord, please have mercy on your children and women especially.  The Christians there have already received letters 'we know who you are and where you are and we are coming for you.'  Lord have mercy!  Place shields about them that they cannot be found. My heart is grieved over what is happening.

In spite of all this pain and suffering going on in the world, one thing I do know and I will hold fast to this truth:  Our Savior Lives and He loves us and He cares for us and for what we are going through.  It doesn't matter if our world is full of war; it doesn't matter if we are struggling with cancer of any form, with COVID or any other disease or virus.  It doesn't matter what it is...... our God, our Lord Jesus Christ, and our Holy Spirit - all care for us and will walk us through any journey we go through.  My heart also breaks for those who reject Jesus, for those who do not personally know Him, for life will be so much harder to get through without Him.  I am confident of this, that no matter what road we are on, what path we take, as long as Jesus is walking with us, we will see Him in Paradise.  That is what I live for.  

Do I ever want to give up?  Oh yes!  Sometimes it is a battle not to just throw in the towel and let satan have his way and let me be mean and hateful.  But I know that, even if I fail and do just that, I confess my sin and I am forgiven.  My life's goal isn't to get rich; it isn't to have all I want; it isn't just a good life - my life's goal is to be with Jesus at the end of my life.   

What about you?  Have you given any thought to what may be ahead of you?  What about your family, those who do life with you? Most will follow the example that is before them.  Are you being the example that will lead them to Jesus and to Paradise at the end of their life?  Something to think about.

Deuteronomy 30:19 "I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing; therefore choose life,  that both you and your decendants may live;....."

Choose life.  Who do you choose today to follow?  Choose Jesus.

You will never regret it.

Never.

Ever.

Lack of sleep is not always a good thing....

 especially when you have your first doctor's appointment and you want to feel good and look sharp.  I don't know if the diet coke I had with dinner last night was enough caffeine to keep me awake, issues within the family (had a chat with the youngest and he was already drinking; no sense in trying to have a conversation. His words are cruel even to me when he drinks), and I had that on my mind... or thinking about my middle child's medical issues... or my own fears of something being found in my own health.  I usually do not worry about myself, but twinges here and there have caused some concern.  I'm praying for answers for so many things.  Not to concern anyone about me, I'm strong, and I'm healthy, and I have God on my side.  It's all part of the 'circle of life', right?  

I tossed and turned until after midnight last night.  I just could not go to sleep.  I thought about getting up but decided that in spite of hubby's snoring, he would wake up and discover I was gone that early, and then would come searching for me.  I did drift off to sleep and my alarm woke me at 4AM.  So I'm 'running' on just a few hours of sleep today.  When I'm tired and sleepy, I tend to not think as clearly or want to do anything.  So besides the doctor's appointment, I have to work, and with having a second boss, I've discovered already that my days are much more busy than in the past few months! 

Been working on the itinerary for our big trip next month.  I'm already wishing we weren't staying as long, but I don't know when our next trip will be, nor do I know if I will ever see any of my siblings again alive.  Two are not in good health at all, and the other two aren't that great either.  And as I age, I begin to wonder even about myself. :-)  Of course anything could happen at any time for any one.  Even here.  All know we are coming out except my oldest sister; I haven't told her... but just realized that my youngest brother who is her POA has probably told her.  I want to surprise her, but maybe that isn't such a good idea either. I do need to call and check in on her.  Her son is living with her still so I haven't worried so much about her.

Hubby has gone to his Bible study this morning... left me to deal with Sheeba this morning and the groomer coming out around 8:30AM.  He may be home by then, or not.  Not a big deal.  I'm a big girl and can multi-task.  I can work around it all, and can get ready for my doctor's appointment while he's gone. :-)

I'm reading in the book of John in the New Testament and today it was the 2nd chapter.  You will remember this story... the wedding feast in Cana where they ran out of wine.  Jesus' mother came to him to solve the problem.  Now how do you think she knew that he could do anything?  Ever wonder about that?  No miracles by Jesus have been reported.  How did Mary know that Jesus could do something about it?  He tells her "My time has not yet come" and what does Mary do?  She tells the servants to do whatever he tells them to do.  And walks away.  Seriously?  Now that requires some faith, don't you think?  So Jesus tells the servants to fill up six waterpots (holding several gallons each) with water.  They fill to the brim.  Then He tells them to take some to the master of the ceremony who is to taste the wine before it is given to the people.  And what happens?  The master of the ceremony is so surprised that this wine is the best he has ever tasted! (well, duh!)  He has no idea how it was made, or where it came from.  But he had to declare to the bridgeroom of its superiority over anything he had ever tasted. 

Can you think of a time that something 'changed' that surprised you?  Perhaps it wasn't water into wine, but could it be something that was, was no more?  Or was not, and now is?  As I ponder that question myself, the thought pops into my mind about my son donating old cars to Kids for Cars or for other causes (and there are many).  The car has no more value to him as they have been 'driven to death', and yet, to whomever he donates it, it has great value to them.  I don't know why that thought came to mind, but it did. Hmmm

As I sat here thinking about what to write about, my thoughts turned to my son and his high blood pressure.  That seems to run in my family.  Mine has always been on the low side in the past, but over the past few years, as I have aged, it seems to be going up.  Partly because I have gained weight.  It seems that no matter what I do - short of stopping eating altogether - I cannot lose it.  A whole nother story for another day.  I'm a mess in that area.  But anyway, I have a blood pressure cup that is pretty reliable so decided to use it.  I generally take it twice cause I understand from a former doctor that took it twice, that as the blood pumps, it can go up and down.  The first time it was like 116/71 - really good, actually.  Then the second reading was like 130/91.  Not quite as good.  But still not real bad, especially compared to my little sister's!  Hubby always annoys me when he gets his done at the doctor's office.  He comes back with like 107/60 or something like that.  Why?  Because he doesn't have the stress of working!  Plus he doesn't have to deal with the stress of ME like I have to deal with the stress of HIM!  LOL  When I was younger (and was carrying less weight), mine was low like that too.  And some mornings if I'm really still and take it, it is that low.  But life happens.  High blood pressure isn't a game to be played.  It can kill you or cause you to stroke.  That's why I try hard to stay calm and not eat so much salty foods (although I love salt) and exercise (I did go to the rec center yesterday, but my heart wasn't really in it).  

I reckon I'm out of things to write about and I need to jump into the shower before starting work and dealing with Sheeba.  But I leave you with this thought.... this question....

Is there a miracle that you need Jesus to do for you?  Why not take a moment and just verbalize it to Him.  Ask Him for that miracle.  It doesn't mean that you will get it; He may have different plans for you.  But if you don't ask, you may not receive it either.

Jesus, whoever is reading this, if they need a miracle in their life, would You please provide it for them?  Not just give them what they want, Lord, but help them to see they are a miracle in the making, and if they choose You, they will see more miracles than they ever thought possible.  There are some things in my life that I am asking for miracles for, Lord.  I've already spoken to you about them, and I pray that whoever is in need of a miracle or miracles, that You will listen as they tell you about them, and that You will answer.  Thank you for Your answers, Lord.  Thank You for loving us more than anyone; that You want the very best for us.  Hear our cries, O God, hear our prayers.  Answer us, Lord. Let us see Your hand upon our lives and those we love.  And may we remember our asking, and remember to tell you 'thank You, for all You have done'.  Yes, Lord, thank You.  I love You, Lord.  You are my Lord, my Savior, my God and King.  I give You all my praise.  Thank You for Your blessings. Amen.

I hear the thunder.... what do you want me to do for you?

 but don't hear any rain.  I read my son's blog and it sounds like they got a lot of rain over where they are.  But I haven't heard any rain here, even when I woke during the night.  In fact, my phone started screaming the weather alert alarm just a few moments ago.  Still just thunder but no rain.  We are far enough west that we rarely get what everyone else gets.  We did get some good rain the other day, but not since.

Do you think that sometimes God sends the thunder during the night to wake us up so that we will spend time with Him?  That maybe, just maybe, we have a question or two for Him?  Or perhaps, He has a question or two for us!  Maybe it could be that sometimes He just wants us to come sit with Him.  I guess I am more conscious of that as I read the book on Solitude and Quiet.  I love to just sit and think about God and His goodness to me.  No matter what, He is always good.  His ways are always good, even when I do not understand them.  His ways may lead us down paths we don't want to go, but the end result is always that we will know Him and His ways, and know His deep abiding love for us.

Yesterday my middle child went to the urgent care, then to the hospital, to find out what was causing severe side pain.  His symptoms sounded like his gallbladder to me, cause I have experienced that pain.  I will never forget August 7, 2009.  Two days before my 60th birthday and my children planned a surprise birthday party for me.  Around 4PM that day the pain started.  I literally prayed myself home the pain was so severe and I could not breathe.  I didn't know if I was having a heart attack or what.  When I got home, I didn't say anything about the pain, thinking if I could just lay down it would go away.  It got lighter, but didn't go away.  Long story short, I couldn't enjoy my surprise much because of the pain; but the surprise was so appreciated.  I did go to the doctor who sent me for an ultrasound.  At the ultrasound, they showed me what was going on - a large stone was trying to force itself out and every time it would push against the opening, the severe pain would happen.  I was told that if I ever had that severe pain again to just go straight tot he hospital and tell them I had an ultrasound, I have a stone in my gallbladder and to just take me to surgery and take it out.  Thank God, even though I have awakened many times during the night with nausea and pain, after I pray, it fades away and I haven't needed to go.

I looked up the anatomy of the body and saw that the liver sits on top of the gallbladder, so then the thought occurred to me that perhaps it is his liver that is acting up.  I know the hospital did several expensive tests, but since they didn't find anything wrong, the thought occurs to me to question why they did the tests they chose  - and why didn't they pursue ultrasounds that can see the organs as they work and see if something is wrong.  Why did they send him home without finding a reason for the pain?  Getting him to the hospital was an accomplishment in itself for he is one who shuns doctors and hospitals.  He just don't like them.  He was in a lot of pain.  Pain so severe that he was willing to go.  But he was sent home to see a GI doctor.  I sent him the name of our GI doctor.  We really like him and if he does a colonoscopy, he has an endoscopy center he is a partner with - and their cost is about 1/2 of what the hospital outpatient cost is.  

So yesterday was spent doing a lot of praying as well as catching up on work.  I didn't pray for my son's healing, for we didn't know what needed to be healed.  I prayed instead that they would find what was causing his pain.  That prayer wasn't answered - at least not the way I wanted.  Perhaps sending him to a PCP to get BP meds is part of my answer; perhaps telling him to see a GI doctor is part of my answer.  I want him to be healed, yes, but I always want the reason for the pain discovered so that we know how to continue to pray for his healing.  And I will continue to pray for results until we find the cause.

Tomorrow I go to my own first doctor appointment in this area.  Yes, I changed doctors again and the day is finally here.  I was told that this will be just to get acquainted, and hopefully I will get prescriptions to get my own tests done that haven't been done in 5 years.  I've had my own issues with my health and I am wanting answers so that I know how to pray for myself as well.  Yes, there is sometimes a fear of 'what if' but I keep repeating that I am trusting God to keep His hand upon me and that if He has allowed something, that I will lean into Him to get me through it.  He has gotten me through so much over the years, that I can't imagine not leaning into Him and asking for His strength, His wisdom, His healing over my life.

I love the story in Matthew 20:29-33, but especially verse 32:  "So Jesus stood still and called them, and said, "What do you want Me to do for you?"   That question is so real for even us today.  What do we want Jesus to do for us?

We want Him to give us a good life, comfort, a loving family, obedient children, a good job, a nice home, we want all these things.  But how often do we truly ask Him for what we want?  Oh we can ask for healing of someone, because we do want that, and sometimes He does give us what we want.  But are we beating down the doors of heaven to get that desire answered?

"What do you want Me to do for you?"  That question remains in the air.  As you read this, what are your thoughts?  Do you think about a heartache that you want to go away?  Do you think about about a need for healing for yourself or for others that you want?  Do you think about the financial crisis that you want resolved?  Jesus is asking us, "What do you want Me to do for you?"

Sometimes we don't get the answers we want.  That person doesn't get healed.  But their witness brought someone to Christ.  Was the non-healing worth it?  Perhaps the financial windfall didn't happen for you, but a crisis was adverted because you asked God to intervene.  Perhaps the heartache hasn't gone away, and yet you can see the hand of God upon those you are praying for, even when they don't. So is it ok that our prayers don't get answered the way we want them to?  I would say yes.  Why?

Becaues no matter what, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God is in control of my life, and the lives of those I bring before His throne.  As I intercede for them, I know that God is hearing my prayers and is answering, even when I don't like the answers I see.   Yes, Jesus can work through anything to achieve results.  But sometimes we are allowed to be a part of the process, go through pain, wade through suffering, so that we can cross to the other side and be stronger for it.  Jesus is in control.  Never forget that.  Sometimes in our darkest and painful moments we forget that we are not the ones in control (and sometimes we need to be reminded of that fact), but as we bring our burdens to Jesus, He will strengthen us to get through whatever is ahead of us.

There is a song, an old hymn, that has the chorus "Leaning (on Jesus), Leaning (on Jesus), safe and secure from all alarm.  Leaning (on Jesus), leaning (on Jesus), I'm leaning on His everlasting arms."  

And that's where we want to be... close to Jesus, leaning into Him.  Find your way, my child, He is waiting.  For you, and for me.

Blessings!

Back to work Monday....

 Yep, playtime is over and today I'm back to work.  I did 'jump on' the computer Saturday after we got home and had over 100 messages.  I worked my way through them cause most were for my bosses - meeting invites, etc.  I answered the ones I had, so hopefully I won't have too many this morning when I sign on.  It was really good to step back from work and self-charge.  I didn't realize how mentally weary I had become.  Although we didn't do anything 'special' once we got back home from our trip to Tucson, (for me, anyway) it is ok.  We read, we watched movies.  It was nice and restful.

Hubby picked Sheeba up early afternoon yesterday while I was at the grocery store.  She will probably be back to herself today - meaning getting in our way.  Yesterday she still did a lot of laying around.  She plays hard at the 'pet resort' with the other dogs.  It is really funny at times when we get a text from the pet resort with a 'message' from Sheeba about what fun she is having.  

Our carpet is getting cleaned early this morning.  I'm already wishing we hadn't scheduled it because I need to be back at work.  But, I'll ask to have this room done first, and will take my laptop to the kitchen table and work there while he does this.  It won't be too bad since I will get on at 7AM and he won't start until about 8:30AM.  I should be caught up and the short time he will be in here will be a nice break.  The floor dries quickly so I can easily come back in to work.  I do need to pick up my weight bench and weights and get them out of the way.  Hubby said he would take care of the chairs on the large dining room table.  Other than that, we don't have that much to pick up.  Need to move Sheeba's crate though.  It will really confuse her and she won't like it at all, I'm sure.

Now that our 'anniversary trip' is over, we can focus on our way too soon upcoming trip to Indiana.  I'm already wishing it wasn't so long (almost 2 weeks!) but to spend time with everyone it was needed.  There are about 3 days in the middle we could 'cut out', but needed the two weekends to not mess up work schedules too badly.  I don't plan to take my work computer so my emails will be outrageous.  But I do have outlook and Teams on my iphone and get my work messages there so can hopefully delete some while I'm away.  Just can't make any meetings.  I will need to get someone to cover for me since I am gone that long.  My one boss is self-sufficient.  My other boss starts today.  I will probably need to have someone do his meetings while I'm gone.  

Today is my little sister's birthday.  She received all that I sent her last week, and I admit I did get carried away.  I over-bought for her, but that's ok.  There were some things she needed that I knew she wasn't going to get from anyone else.  I know it isn't my place to do it, but I could, and I did.  I wanted her to have joy. 

I think that just about catches up any family who reads this blog.  Sometimes those things are what is on my mind and until I get them out, nothing else comes to me to write about.  Perhaps today is one of those times.  That and I need to work on this room and get things off the floor.  It's mainly my weights so it isn't any big deal.  And some yarn.  Ok, maybe a stack of books too.  It's all good.

My sister and I decided not to work on the Bible Study I mentioned several days ago.  We finally got our books and study guides, but after looking them over, they don't really cover what our walls consist of.  The author's husband had cheated on her and left her, I think they divorced, then they got back together and remarried.  She writes about how she felt, how she forgave him, but can't forget what happened.  Well, THAT issue has never been a problem with me nor my sister.  We have never worried about our spouses cheating on us so we decided to send those books back.  My sister had read the first chapter in the book and said that was all it was about.  So we both have this other study and I am leaning on doing it and hope I can convince my sister to do it as well.  I need to get my things together for this (journal) and then will start it.  I think I will do it whether she does it or not.  I'm just at that place right now.

Have you ever had something going on that you pray about and know that you just have to trust God for the outcome?  Yeah, I'm there.  I may talk about it in a later post, but for now, I'm just mentioning it to say that sometimes you just have to trust God. Period.  Whatever the issue is, one needs to reach out to your Creator and ask for His intervention,   He may allow something to help you grow, or to help someone else.  But one thing is certain, no matter what it is, He will walk with you through that journey.  Life is hard sometimes, and sometimes it is by our own choices, and sometimes it is not from things we have done, but what happens to us.  No matter what it is, once we ask God to intervene, once we place our trust in Him, we need to take our hands off and allow Him to do what He chooses to do.  It isn't always easy, for sure.  We want to fix things ourselves.  But some things can only be fixed by His hand.  

Like the woman who continuously went to the judge to get justice, and he, although he did not care about her, gave her what she requested.  We need to continuously bring our issue to our Father, and relentlessly seek Him.  It's like one of those questions.... "How bad do you want it?"  How bad do you want that favor, that job?  How bad do you want your healing, or the healing of another?  How bad do you want it?  Bad enough to beat the doors of heaven and pound the doors with your requests?  Something to think about.

What's on your heart and mind today?  Take it to Jesus and ask Him to intervene on your behalf, and trust that He will answer.  It may not be the answer you seek, but He will answer.  In His time.

Blessings!

It was still a good day.

 We opted out of the gym yesterday and decided all we wanted to do was walk, so hubby walked 1/2 block with me and went one direction and I went on straight the route I wanted to take.  Why?  As I have mentioned before, I take one step to his two, and I have to slow my pace so that we can walk together.  Hubby agreed that we will separate and walk.  We both walked over a mile but I beat him back home.  We had gone to eat breakfast BEFORE taking the walk so my food was wanting to visit again and I decided with the heat/humidity and the walking, well, I would rather be home.  The rest of the day was quiet and we both relaxed and read.  I love to read but don't as much as I would like.  I've been working on Christmas gifts - some times I just need to stop and read.  

We went to church last night @ CCV and really enjoyed the service.  Even hubby says that this is good preaching.  We love how the Bible is preached and how it can be applied to today.  My daughter and son-in-law came too so we ate dinner in the cafe after.  And hubby and I both were good.  We both had salads.  Although I did eat some of the daughter's french fries.  

I mentioned to hubby that Black Bear Diner sent me a free breakfast for my birthday so I think we are going over there this morning to claim it.  We figure about 9AM-ish.  I want to write here, and then read a bit more before getting dressed.  It's nearly 7AM now so have plenty of time for both.  

I woke up at 2:08AM this morning - what is with this 2 AM wake up stuff??  Had a strange dream last night too.  We were some place - not sure where - and sitting with a group of people.  Something happened and someone was hurt, and a man near me jumped up and ran to whomever it was - possibly a small child.  He was heart-broken, and I remember putting my arm on his back to comfort him.  Then we were at a place where we were sitting on bleachers, and when we sat down, he was next to me.  He jumped up, crying, and took off.  Then I awoke.  Have no idea of what that could possibly mean.  You got any ideas?

I do know that when someone is hurting, my heart feels compassion for them and I know that even just sitting with them brings comfort.  Since he was standing, I placed my arm around his back.  Sometimes just knowing someone is there, and cares about what you are going through, is comforting.  Still haven't figured it out - is it something that is going to happen?  Is it something from the past?  Why did I have this dream, specifically of comforting someone?  I'm not always good at that because I'm a crier.  You crying?  Ok, I can cry with you.  My eyes tear up at some of the oddest things.  Get me to read a poem or something heartfelt or meaningful, (like my son's birthday card to me) and the words can barely come out for the tears choking my throat.  But I love the meanings in the card.

Today I was reading in Luke 22 of Peter denying Jesus three times before the rooster crowed.  Do you remember what Jesus had told him in Luke 22:31?  'and the Lord said, "Simon, Simon! Indeed, Satan has asked for you, that he may sift you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, that your faith should not fail; and when you return to Me, strengthen your brethren.".

"But I have prayed for you, that your faith should not fail, and when you return to Me, strengthen your brethren".     Do you catch that?  Do you realize that this statement also applies to you?  You have people praying for you, that your faith should not fail.  And although you may have rejected living for Christ now, you will return, and you will need to strengthen your brethren, your children, your family.  The man is to be the spiritual leader of his home.   Are you praying for your children to live for Jesus? Are you lifting your spouse up in prayer that he or she will be with you in paradise?

Peter denied Jesus 3 times before the rooster crowed.  What is it going to take for you to remember the words of Jesus that He loves you and desires for you to follow Him with your heart, soul, mind and body?  When will you be willing to lay down your will, and pick up His?

Ah- the great question we all face daily.  I must admit that at times I fail... quite frequently, in fact.  Living for Jesus isn't really hard....  unless you let yourself get in the way.  Your own wants and wishes.  I do it, and I'm sure you do too.  But the plus we have is that Jesus doesn't give up on us.  

I John 1:9 - If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins.  And I am so grateful for His forgiveness of all my sins.  It isn't just some of them, when I confess them, He covers them with His blood that was shed on the cross.  He washes us white as snow.  All we have to do is confess, and ask His forgiveness.  

Let me share a story with you this morning.....

"How long the pastor's prayer is this morning", thought Elvina Hall.  Sitting in the choir loft Elvina's mind turned to our need for salvation and the price that Jesus paid for it. Words began to form themselves. She had to get them down, but she had no paper.  Well, that wasn't entirely true, so she scribbled on the flyleaf of the hymnal, and she wrote:

I hear the Savior say, "Thy strength indeed is small; child of weakness, watch and pray, find in Me your all in all".

Jesus paid it all, all to Him I owe.  Sin had left a crimson stain, He washed it white as snow.

Not bad, not bad at all.  After service, she handed the words to her pastor.  Did his face crease into a little smile at the evidence of her 'naughty' behavior?  We may never know.  But we do know that an extraordinary 'coincidence' took place at the Monument Street Methodist Church of Baltimore.  Organist John Grape had recently written a new tune and had given it to the pastor.  The pastor saw that the tune and the poem fit together extremely well.  So he united them, in that way, one of the most beloved hymns of the church came into being.

I hear the Savior say, "Thy strength indeed is small; child of weakness, watch and pray, find in Me your all in all."

(Refrain)  Jesus paid it all, all to Him I owe.  Sin had left a crimson stain, He washed it white as snow.

For nothing good have I whereby Thy grace to claim; I'll wash my garments white in the blood of Calv'ry's lamb.

And now complete in Him, my robe, His righteousness, close sheltered 'neath His side, I am divinely blest.

Lord, now indeed I find, Thy pow'r, and Thine alone, can change the leper's (leopard's) spots, and melt the heart of stone.

When from my dying bed my ransomed soul shall rise, "Jesus died my soul to save", shall rend the vaulted skies.

And when before the throne I stand in Him complete, I'll lay my trophies down, all down at Jesus' feet.

Jesus paid it all, all to Him I owe.  Sin had left a crimson stain, He washed it white as snow.

What a gift we have been given.  Jesus Paid it All.

Think about it.

Blessings!