I'm so blessed!

 Yes - that is the song that was running through my mind when I awoke this morning.  I really wanted to go back to sleep - and did try to - but that song just kept playing.  What is interesting about that song - I haven't heard it in forever and I have no idea why it was running through my mind this morning.  So, obviously, I'm thinking I need to take notice as to why my mind thinks I am 'so blessed'.  And I do have a lot of blessings to be thankful for.  And so do you.

Pause for a moment - what ARE you thankful for?  WHY do you feel you are blessed?  You may feel that life is totally against you; that things are not what they should be - and you may very well be right.  But you are here now, you are living and breathing.  You have a place (more than likely) to lay your head, to keep your warm (or keep you cool), you have food to eat when you want it.  Many of you have spouses or family who love you dearly.  Some of you have jobs that you are passionate about - that you enjoy.  You have a car that runs.  You have good health - or you have good health care.  Either way, for any of these, you are blessed.  And for so much more.  You have a God who loves you more than any one else could. THAT in itself, is a blessing.

I enjoyed hanging out with my boss yesterday but did leave early (for us) so that I could get home in plenty of time to prepare mentally for the board meeting I had yesterday.  And of course, this had to happen.  Right in the middle of the powerpoint presentation, my internet decided to 'drag' and I had a 'circle' of 'thinking' going on and could not move the slide.  Brett had to jump in and bring up the powerpoint and he finished out the presentation.  I finally got the internet to 'move on' and off that slide, but I let him finish out the meeting.  It was only about an hour long as it was our first one.  Now to work on minutes.  Joy.

I have an 8AM training with Morgan this morning.  Yes, I let her schedule me early in the mornings and then I work through lunch to make up my time.  It's really no big deal.  I can still get a workout in.  Her mother has told her she won't babysit anymore - because she doesn't want to be 'tied down with the grandchildren'... which I understand, but..... So when Morgan's husband is gone for a week (every other week he has to stay wherever it is he works; I forget what it is) and she is on her own.  Her mother used to babysit so she could work in the evenings - and now, because she has refused, Morgan can only do trainings in the mornings.  Talk about trying to fit everyone in!  She gets day care at the gym so that helps, but still.  Next week her husband will be home to watch the kids so she can work both morning and evening a few hours - but learning how to do just mornings has been trying for her.  I have offered to watch her two little girls if she has to work evenings to get a client in.  Will see if she ever takes me up on the offer.  It's not like we do much of anything in the evenings - at least I don't.  If I don't have anything going on, surely I can help her out.

I shared with Sue, my boss, yesterday morning about how many liters of fluid was being removed weekly from my son's body.  She explained something to me - as to why they stop at 10L versus emptying it all out.  The reason is that if all of the fluid is removed, it creates more pressure on the internal organs (if I'm remembering this correctly) and can create more problems.  With topping off a limit, even though it may still be uncomfortable, it allows the internal organs to still be 'cushioned' with the fluid versus trying to work their way back into place.  I can't explain it right - but the way she explained it (and being a nurse, she knows her stuff), it made sense.  I often wondered why they didn't remove all the fluid - and now I understand it.  Somewhat.  Still praying for a miracle.

Psalm 131:2   I have calmed and quieted my soul, like a weaned child with its mother.

How often, lately, have you found yourself anxious and uneasy?  Nervous about life around you?  Sure, the way this world is going - and the fighting with Iran, I'm sure there is a lot to be concerned about.  We let so much concern us, don't we?  And some of it we should.  But there are times that we need to step back and just rest in God.  We need to sit down, relax our body, and allow a calmness, and a quietness, to come over us, over our soul.  It is in those moments that God can speak to us.  That we can feel His presence.  That He has our attention.  And, yes, i tis like a weaned child with its mother.  snuggled up against her, a child is at peace, knowing that they are loved and care for, and that they have all that they need for that moment.

How often do we take that pause?  How often do we push that chair back and just sit and breathe?  Try it - push away from whatever is in front of you.  Feet on the ground. Body straight, resting in the chair. Close your eyes.  Let the quietness of the room (yes, turn off all noise) filtrate through your mind, your body, and feel the flow of peace that can come with it.  Keep your mind quiet; quit thinking of things you need to do, to get done.  If necessary, take a quick moment and write it down so you can deal with it afterwards.  But for this moment in time.  Shhhhhhhh

Quiet. Silence. Solitude. P-e-a-c-e.... 

Remember what that feels like? Before your life took off in a thousand directions? Before your mind go so overloaded with dos and don'ts and life itself?   Yes, you still have things to get done..... but for this moment in time, it belongs to you alone.

Enjoy this moment.  Practice it often.  Breathe deep.  Hold.  Exhale.  Breathe in. Hold. Breathe out.  A simple process, but it brings a calmness over us that we are too busy - as a rule - to even notice.  Return to this practice each time you feel overwhelmed, in pain, in sorrow, in turmoil.... experience the peace that only God can give to you in the moments you give back to Him. 

And with that.... I will leave you.... inhale, hold, exhale.... feel the presence of our Living God.  Thank Him for His blessings... because you are so blessed....

Blessings!

It's going to be a noisy day!

 At 5AM this morning I hear a vehicle motor going by real slow.  I keep listening, finally going to look out my window and see two pick up trucks that are nearly in front of our house.  Then I remember.  Ms. Vicky is having a new roof put on her house this morning.  Yesterday the shingles were delivered and put on top of the house.  This morning I have heard various movement out there that they are preparing to make some noise!  Actually, the noise I hear at the moment is the landscapers out there trimming hedges and mowing the grass.  Such grass that there is.  It's almost like why bother to mow it - our front yards are nearly all dirt.  Another gripe of mine.  Anyway, the landscapers are making their noise and before long we will hear scaping off of shingles next door and then the consistent pounding of the nails into new shingles.  Oh joy. Will I need an excedrin by the time they get done?

Got to straighten up the house this morning as our house cleaners will be coming around noon.  Yeah, we run around and empty trash cans and pick up our things off the floor so that they can clean.  Except my closet.  Sigh.  I really do need to get in there and clean it out.  I just shut the door now.  Third month in a row.  I must make the effort to get in and let go of t-shirts I don't wear anymore and things I don't need to hold on to.  I've been lazy in that respect, and I need to get it done.  Right?

My board meeting scheduled on August 14th has to be moved so as soon as I get it moved, I am taking the day off.  I already have the 15th and 16th off.  It's our 43rd anniversary - can you even imagine that?!  I was going to take off immediately after the board meeting, but now that I have to move it, I can just take the entire day off.  But first, still working on when to move it.  Hope to get that resolved today.  Yesterday was a nightmare for working on meetings and I really got irritated when one of the directors and their associate directors were telling me to do what they should be doing.  Yeah, they think I should get the dirty work and I really don't have a choice in the matter, but I was irritated they dumped it on me.  And I have no clue how to do it - and told the director so! But, I will have to find out and do it anyway.  All the other departments I support take care of their own departments - but this one - and yes, it is the male boss's lineage - they dump even the littlest things.  I was annoyed, to say the least.  Suck it up buttercup; you gotta do it anyway.

I read some more in my book last night and although it is similar to some books I have read, it is different.  Hard to explain.  Anyway, last night I was reading about solitude.  You know how I love my alone time with God.  But it was also talking about taking the time alone to just 'be'.  You know, not keep the mind reflecting on so many tasks that you have before you, or all the troubles that beset you, but to just be still.

Psalm 46:10 :  Be still and know that I am God.

Yeah, you know, THAT verse.  Be still and know.  Sometimes when I can 'be still' I will sit with my eyes closed and allow the quietness to surround me.  Other times, especially if I am outside, I enjoy leaving my eyes open and just looking around me and seeing the beauty that God has created.  The key here in all this is just to 'Be Still and Know'.  And it is better to even to continue with the 'that I am God'.  He created you in His image.  He created all your children in His image.  Do you not think that we should pause and think of Him and thank Him for all His goodness to us?

I really got hung up on the chapter about solitude and may go back and read it again.  Hubby had the game on when I was reading that chapter so had to reread several sentences.  And he was making his comments often enough I finally asked him to stop as I was trying to read.  I don't care 'strike him out!!' or 'come on, we need a home run!' if I'm not reading - but come on!  If someone is reading and you want to watch TV - fine - but be quiet!  Right?  It's bad enough the tv was on!  Anyway, I have purchased a couple books about solitude and I think that I will dig those out and read after I finish this book.  I haven't gotten to them yet, I don't think.  

I felt towards the end of last year that I needed to create a women's retreat and invite a few women to go on at least an overnight or two day retreat.  I need to create an agenda for it, of course, but a large portion of the time would be spent in solitude and prayer.  I really had a burden to do that earlier this year, but life happens and things happen and it got put on the back burner.  I still want to create a small women's retreat - go to a hotel for a couple nights and make it one in which the women could get closer to God, and help them find their way when they struggle.  Find whom they can run to when their heart is broken and hurting.  Lord knows that my heart has been broken and beaten up many, many times over the years.  Sometimes the pain is so great from the breakage I don't know if I can make it - and yet, He draws me close to His heart and brings hope and healing.

Do you ever feel that your heart hurts so bad that nothing can bring healing?  There is something, actually, there is some One who can bring healing.  He wants you to bring the broken pieces of your heart to Him, and He will put them back together for you.  Perhaps not in the way you want Him to - but it will be better.  I promise.  He has taken the broken pieces of my heart, my life, and put them back together in ways I would never have thought possible.  Even now, when I hurt so bad I don't know what to do, I surrender my heart to Him, for I have no place else to turn.  He is always waiting to hold me close and He is waiting for you to surrender your problems to Him and your broken heart to Him as well.  Will you let them go?  He can put things back together faster and better than you could ever do on your own.  "let it go" as the movie Frozen says.

Blessings!

Desperation

 Last night I started reading a book about Solitude and Quietness.  As I read it, and once again the desire to take time to be in solitude and quietness came upon me,  I began to pray that God would make me desperate for Him.  By that I mean that instead of finding other things to do, my desire will only be to be with Him.  In solitude and quietness, that is a good place to start.  I long to break away from my daily routine and grab my Bible, my journal, a bottle of water, and a pen.... and just be alone with God.  

Sometimes it is easy to come into His Presence and spend time with Him.  The hard part is having to break away and get busy with daily tasks.  That is why I always long to get away and just 'be' with Jesus.  I'm so looking forward to when we go on vacation in a couple weeks so that I can have that extended time.  We call times like this more of a retreat than we do a vacation.  We read our Bibles more - and longer times.  We write in our journals more.  We take time to be alone with God, and we take time to listen to what He wants to tell us.  

I literally 'live' for these times that I can have all the time I want to rest and listen and talk with God, and hear His voice once again above the busyness of life.  Above all the things going on in my life.  Above the thoughts of work, of struggles, of issues.  Life is hard, and the only One who can bring Peace in the storm, is Jesus.

I recognize this morning that although I have said I have forgiven some things, but am cautious, I am thinking that perhaps I haven't totally forgiven the hurt.  I haven't forgiven completely the injustice.  I haven't forgotten the incident.  I need to totally give it over to Jesus and let it go out of my mind and not dwell upon it; not use it as an excuse to withdraw.  I cannot judge that person and what they did to me; I must let Jesus work in this situation and make it right; I must give it up to Him and allow Him to open their eyes to see the things they have said and done.  I need to change how I think about it; I need to stop verbalizing what happened.  Each time it reopens the wounds.  I need to let it go.  (what movie does that bring to mind?  'Let it go, Let it go, I don't need this anymore!')

I John 4:4-6 (NKJV):  "You are of God, little children, and have overcome them, because He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world.  They are of the world. Therefore they speak as of the world, and the world hears them. We are of God. He who knows God hears us; he who is not of God does not hear us. By this we know the spirit of truth and the spirit of error."

I John 4 was a great chapter to read this morning in line with my thinking last night.  I especially have to remind myself frequently of "Greater is He who is in me, than he who is in the world".  

I Peter 5:8 (NKJV):  "Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour."

What that is saying is that we need to be walking with our eyes open for the devil is always looking to get a foothold on someone and drag them down to his level.  Remember that Jesus is always greater than the devil.  When Jesus is living in you, you can fight off anything the devil throws at you. Stand firm.

We know how the world ends - Jesus wins - and when Jesus lives in us, we win too.  Thank You, Jesus! I like being a winner!

Desperate.  When was the last time you were desperate for something?  Did you have a longing within your hear that there was something you really, really, wanted?  Was that all you could think about?

What if you turned that feeling into a desperate longing for Jesus?  Do you not know that He alone can satisfy every feeling, every longing, that you may have?  Jesus alone is your rescue.  

My prayer for you is that you will feel a desperate longing to know Jesus personally; that whatever is dragging you down, you lay it at the foot of the cross.... and leave it there.  Sometimes we have to take that bag of burdens and lay it down many times, because we keep picking it up (as in not letting go of the pain and some unforgiveness we all carry with us) when we lay it down.  I want to let it go and let God take care of my pain, my anger, my hurt, my frustrations, my anguish.  You know I have a lot of them for I have shared them many times.  More often than I should have.  And every time I do, I pick it up again.

Father, today, I lay down everything I keep carrying around with me.  My shoulders are not big enough to carry it all and it just weighs me down and makes me miserable.  I ask that You put desperation for You into my heart, soul, and mind.  Make me desperate for You, Jesus.  That You are my focus, and whenever these things come to mind, I will step into solitude and quietness of my mind and soul, and release them to You once again.  You told me to forgive 70 x 7... and it's hard.  But I trust in You and I believe You will help me get past those things that trouble and hurt me.  Thank You for taking my burden from me, Lord, and giving me peace in my soul.  I love you, Jesus.  Thank You for forgiving me of my sins; help me to forgive others as You have forgiven me.  Amen.

So ready for solitude and quietness.  Find some time for yourself, that you can be alone with Jesus.  He truly is all you need.

Blessings!

Yesterday.

The situation in Afghanistan has really grabbed my heart as I have read and heard about the women and children .... things happening to them.  It breaks my heart and I cry out to God for His protection over them.  I pray for Him to protect the Christians and those who are in danger.  It grieves my heart and can quickly bring tears to my eyes.

I have prayed that God would break my heart for the things that break His.... and when I do that, like now, the tears can easily come and my heart will break.  I feel the situation in Afghanistan is breaking His heart, and He is allowing me to feel some of His grief.  All I can do is pray for the people.  And I believe He hears my prayers.  

Glenn Beck posted something on facebook yesterday and I could barely read it to hubby as I couldn't control my tears.  He said the last of their planes they had chartered to get people out of the Kabul airport had left.  There were thousands left in the airport, hoping to get on a plane.  The airport was closed. And they were going 'dark' until they were back home, to keep from being located.  My heart broke at those words... these people have no hope left.  And with 13 of our military killed by a suicide bomber there, my heart is breaking for our people who are ordered to go there to help, who may not get to come back home alive.  And all I can do is pray for these.  And believe He hears my prayers.

On a positive note, I have a dear friend in Louisana and Hurricane Ida is heading there; to hit today as a category 4.   My friend's area was hit bad with Hurricane Laura... so I sent him a note last night and asked how they were doing; that I was praying for him.  I received a response this morning that the hurricane is going to miss them this time (he is in St. Charles), but they are still in recovery from Laura.  After he gave me an update, he added, "I had some of your salsa yesterday".  When he and another friend stayed with us several years ago, I made Taco Soup and also my salsa.  They both asked for recipes.  Dean had taco soup every week for awhile, not sure if he still does.  Terry was always the maker of the salsa and makes it frequently.  Such dear, dear friends.  I thank God that Terry and his church are not in direct harms way, and continue to pray for recovery in their area. 

I actually got something productive done yesterday.  I cleaned out my pantry and started a list of what I am out of.  I always like to keep an extra bottle of mustard or ketchup on hand... and other items, but I discovered I didn't have any in the cabinet.  Not that it is a rush to go out and buy some - it isn't, but have it now on the list to pick up next time I plan a store trip.  My freezer is full and I need to start cooking more.... but we really don't eat that much when I do cook.... but I do need to clean out the freezer.  

I have 'joined' an 'air fryer' group on facebook as they are posting all kinds of air fryer recipes.  I have a couple air fryer cookbooks, but sometimes they are for fancy things that I don't want to mess with.  I'm a simple girl.  Throw frozen chicken legs or wings in the air fryer and cook... oh yum; twenty minutes later got some yummy chicken with minimum effort.  I have a pork loin in my refrigerator now to put in the air fryer perhaps for lunch.  I saw this recipe for one and it sounded so good so gotta try it.  Did you know that you can also put eggs in the air fryer and hard boil them?  Who would have thought?!  The problem for us is - neither of us eat an overwhelmingly volume (ok, I don't), and I don't want to waste food, so how much is too much?  This pork loin is only a couple pounds but it will last us two-three meals.   

I enjoyed some solitude this morning early before I started my reading.  I woke several times during the night and finally got up I think a bit after 4AM.  On a Sunday, no less.  I generally try to sleep until 5:30AM or so, but sleep was eluding me.... until I came in here.  It was nice to leave the light off and just talk with God.  And yes, I am sure that I dozed off some as well.  He brings me such peace that when I break away from my thoughts, from the busyness of things, He gives me rest.  I love this time alone in the mornings - which is why I choose to get up so early every day.  I simply must have this time with Jesus every day.  It's the only way I can make it through the day without crashing.  I lean into Him and He supports me, keeping me strong.  And some days I need it more than others.  Life isn't always as easy as it appears to others.  I believe you know that in your own life.  

How do you manage to get through your days?  I am trying not to dump a lot of stuff in here.. and in fact did a lot of erasing today as well.  That's how some of my days start out... some perhaps my fault, some not.  Life is hard.  

The only way I can get through each day is holding on to what Jesus said before He ascended into heaven - 

Matthew 28:20 (TPT)  "and teach them to faithfully follow all that I have commanded you.  And never forget that I am with you every day, even to the completion of this age."

You probably recognize that verse more from this translation:

Matthew 28:20 (KJV) "Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I  have commanded you; and, lo, I am with you always, even to the ends of the world. Amen."

Or perhaps this one....

Matthew 28:20 (NIV)  "and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you.  And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."

It doesn't matter what version one reads, they all say the same thing - Jesus is with us to the very end.  I believe that; I am living that.  And so are you.  Stretch your hand up and grab hold of Jesus' hand.  He will get you through every day.  

Blessings!