Desperation

 Last night I started reading a book about Solitude and Quietness.  As I read it, and once again the desire to take time to be in solitude and quietness came upon me,  I began to pray that God would make me desperate for Him.  By that I mean that instead of finding other things to do, my desire will only be to be with Him.  In solitude and quietness, that is a good place to start.  I long to break away from my daily routine and grab my Bible, my journal, a bottle of water, and a pen.... and just be alone with God.  

Sometimes it is easy to come into His Presence and spend time with Him.  The hard part is having to break away and get busy with daily tasks.  That is why I always long to get away and just 'be' with Jesus.  I'm so looking forward to when we go on vacation in a couple weeks so that I can have that extended time.  We call times like this more of a retreat than we do a vacation.  We read our Bibles more - and longer times.  We write in our journals more.  We take time to be alone with God, and we take time to listen to what He wants to tell us.  

I literally 'live' for these times that I can have all the time I want to rest and listen and talk with God, and hear His voice once again above the busyness of life.  Above all the things going on in my life.  Above the thoughts of work, of struggles, of issues.  Life is hard, and the only One who can bring Peace in the storm, is Jesus.

I recognize this morning that although I have said I have forgiven some things, but am cautious, I am thinking that perhaps I haven't totally forgiven the hurt.  I haven't forgiven completely the injustice.  I haven't forgotten the incident.  I need to totally give it over to Jesus and let it go out of my mind and not dwell upon it; not use it as an excuse to withdraw.  I cannot judge that person and what they did to me; I must let Jesus work in this situation and make it right; I must give it up to Him and allow Him to open their eyes to see the things they have said and done.  I need to change how I think about it; I need to stop verbalizing what happened.  Each time it reopens the wounds.  I need to let it go.  (what movie does that bring to mind?  'Let it go, Let it go, I don't need this anymore!')

I John 4:4-6 (NKJV):  "You are of God, little children, and have overcome them, because He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world.  They are of the world. Therefore they speak as of the world, and the world hears them. We are of God. He who knows God hears us; he who is not of God does not hear us. By this we know the spirit of truth and the spirit of error."

I John 4 was a great chapter to read this morning in line with my thinking last night.  I especially have to remind myself frequently of "Greater is He who is in me, than he who is in the world".  

I Peter 5:8 (NKJV):  "Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour."

What that is saying is that we need to be walking with our eyes open for the devil is always looking to get a foothold on someone and drag them down to his level.  Remember that Jesus is always greater than the devil.  When Jesus is living in you, you can fight off anything the devil throws at you. Stand firm.

We know how the world ends - Jesus wins - and when Jesus lives in us, we win too.  Thank You, Jesus! I like being a winner!

Desperate.  When was the last time you were desperate for something?  Did you have a longing within your hear that there was something you really, really, wanted?  Was that all you could think about?

What if you turned that feeling into a desperate longing for Jesus?  Do you not know that He alone can satisfy every feeling, every longing, that you may have?  Jesus alone is your rescue.  

My prayer for you is that you will feel a desperate longing to know Jesus personally; that whatever is dragging you down, you lay it at the foot of the cross.... and leave it there.  Sometimes we have to take that bag of burdens and lay it down many times, because we keep picking it up (as in not letting go of the pain and some unforgiveness we all carry with us) when we lay it down.  I want to let it go and let God take care of my pain, my anger, my hurt, my frustrations, my anguish.  You know I have a lot of them for I have shared them many times.  More often than I should have.  And every time I do, I pick it up again.

Father, today, I lay down everything I keep carrying around with me.  My shoulders are not big enough to carry it all and it just weighs me down and makes me miserable.  I ask that You put desperation for You into my heart, soul, and mind.  Make me desperate for You, Jesus.  That You are my focus, and whenever these things come to mind, I will step into solitude and quietness of my mind and soul, and release them to You once again.  You told me to forgive 70 x 7... and it's hard.  But I trust in You and I believe You will help me get past those things that trouble and hurt me.  Thank You for taking my burden from me, Lord, and giving me peace in my soul.  I love you, Jesus.  Thank You for forgiving me of my sins; help me to forgive others as You have forgiven me.  Amen.

So ready for solitude and quietness.  Find some time for yourself, that you can be alone with Jesus.  He truly is all you need.

Blessings!