I'm still sleepy!

 Yesterday I started early on the computer and sat there nearly all day with meetings to schedule and things to do.  By the time I finally quit at 4PM-ish, I was so tired.  I think it is staring at the computer all day.  I kept jumping up ever so often to just walk through the house just to MOVE.  I even snuck out of the house at one point when hubby went somewhere, and trimmed my rose bushes.  Just to do something different.  By afternoon I was wanting to take a nap.  Even at 6:30PM last night I was struggling to stay awake - but did - and went to bed around 8:30PM.  I awoke at 11:30 and had a time of wakefulness (cause I slept so deep, I guess) before I was able to go back to sleep.  The alarm went off at 4:05AM, 4:15AM and I finally struggled up and into my room.  I've managed to do my reading this morning, but have struggled to stay awake through it.  I always get this way during the winter months - I guess because it stays really dark longer and it's cooler.  BUT I don't want to waste my day in bed so I always get up.  

I love my time in the mornings alone with God.  That's why I still get up at 4AM-ish during the week.  I'm alone with my Bible, this computer, and my books - along with the cup of coffee hubby brings me - until about 6:30-ish when I will venture out of my room.  By 7AM I am definitely on the work computer - sometimes much earlier - like yesterday, I was on around 6AM as I knew I had things I needed to get done.  It would be so easy to just stay in bed and sleep until 6AM and then get up to work - but I would miss this time alone with God - and you know what, I need this.  God helps me start my day.  I've done it for so long I can't even think what it would be like without starting my day with Him.  And I don't want to.  Even in my sleepyness, if I fall back to sleep, I just feel I'm crawling into my Father's lap and snuggling with Him. He awakens me when I need to.  He's that kind of Father.

I was reading Psalm 32 this morning and thinking about God's forgiveness.  He doesn't only forgive us, when we confess that sin to Him, He restores us.  That's real important.  Sometimes we do some things and we don't confess them, thinking 'oh He will never forgive me for that' and life is miserable.  But God doesn't only forgive when we confess - He forgets that sin and does not hold it against us.  He restores us.  

David was a mighty King, anointed by God, but He sinned with Bathsheba.  His greatest sin though wasn't that, nor any other acts that he committed, but his greatest sin was not repenting, and instead, trying to hide it and cover his tracks.  He not only committed adultery, he had her husband killed.  Sin begets sin, they say.  Until that sin is confessed and repented, it grows like a contagious disease, infecting all those we come in contact with.

There is always forgiveness to be found for those who stop, confess, repent, and change their ways.  For some, tho, Christ going to the cross isn't enough.  Some people still refuse to forgive what God forgives. And many times, they can't forgive themselves for what they have done. They feel so bad about their guilt they won't even go to church because they don't think they are worthy enough to be forgiven.  But that's wrong.  God forgives.  Period.

Even as a Christian, we are sometimes going to fail; I fail miserably - many times.  But I choose not to live a life of guilt of my sins.  I have confessed them (and still do as they happen) and know that I have received God's forgiveness of my sins.  It's not just saying a little prayer 'God, forgive me', and move on.  It is turning away from that thing, walk away from it.  I don't fall out of grace, I fall into grace.

God demands repentance.  In Psalm 32:5 David said that when he acknowledged his sin and confessed it to the Lord, that is when forgiveness came.  You know what's wrong with some of us?  We won't admit that we have failed and we have sinned.  We need to acknowledge it, and then repent.  Believe me, God lets me know when I have fallen, and I want to repent so that I can feel His Presence again.  And we also need to forgive ourselves for what we've done.  Trust me, the devil will bring things back to mind time and again, hoping to drag you back down to not forgiving yourself and believing you aren't forgiven by God.  Tell Satan to go back to Hell where he belongs!  (I find I have to do that a lot!)

Today is New Years Eve and tomorrow starts 2021.  Who do you need to forgive?  What do you need to confess to the Lord and ask for forgiveness for?  What do you need to ask others forgiveness for?  Or to apologize for?  What is tugging on your mind and your heart that you need to deal with?  Is there something you need to remove from your life?  Something you need to bring into your life?

Start 2021 with a clean slate.  Before you go to bed tonight, or even first thing tomorrow morning, start fresh with a short prayer of asking forgiveness for whatever is troubling you, and ask for God's help to live life in 2021 with a clean slate.  Whatever happened in the past  - is in the past.  Hakuna Matata or something like that.  

You can't change the past; but you can change your future.  What do you want 2021 to be for you and your family?

Blessings!

'We're having church'.....

 That's the message I received yesterday afternoon.  I had received a call early last week that the RV park we occasionally speak at was not going to have 'in-house' services last Sunday (hubby was to speak) because there was a rise of COVID in the RV park and some of the key people at the RV church had been exposed.  I was contacted on Monday that the Board was meeting on Tuesday (yesterday) to decide if they should open this week (I am on the schedule to speak).  They also wanted my title and scripture.  Thank goodness I already had a message prepared or I would be in a panic.  So I emailed the title and the scriptures and gave my 2 cents worth.  I suggested they NOT open this week, even though it had been the two weeks since the people had been exposed.  With the Christmas holiday just last week, and new people coming into the RV park, I said I was ok with the cancelling if they wanted to.  Well, I got an email back later that said the Board met, and they were going to meet this Sunday.  Which means I will be speaking.  AND we have communion this week.  Will see how they are going to do that.  We have the individual cups but how are they going to do the bread?  I reckon I will find out on Sunday.  

So what am I going to speak on?  Matthew 13:3-9.  The sowing of the seed.  What do I hope they get out of it?  That God is sowing seeds of Hope, of Love, of Warning.... and a few others.  But the key thought is, are we looking to God, are we seeing God, or are we totally non-observant of Him?

I am pretty much non-observant anymore.  I used to notice some things, but I'm worse now.  I admit it.  I stopped by my daughters some time last week and didn't notice anything.  The other day I stopped by and commented on her 6-8 poinsettia plants (live plants) around her doorway.  I love poinsettias and bought 4 small ones to plant in a few weeks.   She looked at me and said, "Mom, they were there last week when you came over and I asked you if you saw them and you said yes, and how nice they looked" (or something like that).  I don't even remember that conversation.  Am I losing my mind or am I just non-observant?  Could be a little of both!

But one thing I am observant of and that is how God works in situations.  Yesterday I had typed in a short prayer for my son and grandson in the search of a vehicle.  I thanked God for answered prayers when my son called later in the afternoon that they found a car, and were in the process of getting everything completed yet that afternoon.   It's in the little things that mean a lot to us that God will show Himself faithful, when we ask.  Thank you, Jesus.

I still need to have the last group of grandchildren over to bake cookies and make Christmas mice before they head back up north.  I'm hoping to get them in tomorrow evening, even though it is New Years Eve.  We don't plan to do anything anyway, and if we can get them before 5PM, they can be back home by 8PM.... maybe.  I have 3-4 pizzas in the freezer that I could fix and what I might do is feed them first and then they can have the oven for the cookies.  Maybe I should try for this evening instead so none of us will be out with the people who have been drinking on New Years Eve. Will have to talk with hubby and then check with the son to see if they are available.  He was doing something special with the kids yesterday because he got his settlement from his accident.  I have no idea how he planned to waste the money.... yes, I say waste...  (even though he probably makes memories with his children) because he doesn't save anything for emergencies.... and it shows in his daily living.  "Not my monkey, not my circus".

UGH, there I go making assumptions and making negative comments.  That is one habit I want to break.  I want to see the good in people and make positive comments.... Lord Jesus, please help me.  Yes, I'm leaving it up there because we all need a reminder that we should look for the positive (making memories with his children) and not the negative (wasting money and not saving it).  Lord knows I have wasted so much over the years - for various reasons!  I am not perfect by any means and many years had nothing in the savings account, living from one paycheck to another paycheck and doing without things that were needed.  God got us through the hard times.  Always.

What is around you that you need to be observant about?  Is it something that you need to put away and clear off?  Is it something someone has put up on the wall that you need to notice?  Oh my goodness.  I just remembered something!  A grandson had made a face on one of the Christmas gifts that was to go to someone who didn't come with the family on Christmas.  He confessed to me what he had done and showed it to me - and I was busy and forgot about it - and the gift was taken.  I'm hoping that person was NOT observant about it.  I haven't heard anything anyway.  Now if I had been observant.....

I finally got the bed cleared off here in this room the other day.  All the wrapping paper and bags are put away in the garage.  I have a couple things I still need to take out of here and will today.  I'm looking around this room to see whatever I need to do.  "Observing" things I need to clean off, to put away, to dust.  I 'observe' my weights that I need to get up and use today.  LOL  See, it's the little things....

Take some time today to look about you and see what you can do to help someone, to make things better.  It may be a simple thing as moving things off a table.  Take the time to look people in the eye and listen to what they are saying.  And hear them.  You just might learn something.

Blessings!

Exercise - we all need it....

 I often do things and then wish that I didn't.  This is not really one of them, but it could be.  I 'waste' more money than I save sometimes.  Even for a good thing.  I haven't even told hubby yet what I did.  Not that it is a bad thing.  It is a good thing.  It's a deep desire that I have to do, and have had, but he has always managed to make me quit for one reason or another.   Not so much 'makes' me quit, as I get tired of the fussing and questions and 'instructions' - that I just quit.  So what did I do?

I ordered an exercise bench.  I know, I've had one a couple times throughout the past 35 or so years and used only a few times.  Then we got rid of it.  But, I really do need to strengthen my body, especially as I am getting older.  It will prevent me from falling, and if I do fall, I won't break bones as easily.  I see how my older sister is at just 6 years older than I and how she is constantly falling.  Of course she blames it on her rheumatoid arthritis, and it may be so, but she doesn't rise about it and strengthen her muscles, which would keep her from falling.  

I have a dear friend who has had RA for years and she faithfully goes to the gym every day to work out or when it is closed, will take a six mile or so walk, just to keep her muscles strong.  I've seen the difference in the two.  I don't want to be weak and unable to do things because I didn't take care of myself while I can. (and yes, I'm envious of my daughter in love's muscles - not from 'working out', but lifting patients!)  So, I have bought this bench, which should arrive around January 6th.

I have a few hand weights and bands and have been using them infrequently.  I like to do my workouts in private.  Yes, we have belonged to gyms forever, it seems.  I cancelled mine when we moved because we HAVE to pay into the rec center here where we now live.  Not that I had been going to the one I belonged to because it was closed due to COVID.  This one closes occasionally.  But for now, it appears to be open.  We stopped by one (there are 5-6 gyms that we can go to, for which we pay the required yearly fee) the other day while we were out because hubby has decided that he and another friend will start working out 'after the first of the year'.  

When I met hubby, he took every vitamin from A to Z and whatever he could find.  He worked out six days a week.  Over the years finances prevented him from buying all those vitamins, and his workouts got less and less.  You would think that once he 'retired' 13 years ago he would frequent the gyms more often and have a life focused on his health.  Nope.  That didn't happen.  For both of us, we haven't been to the gym at all since we moved here 6 months ago.  I take that back - hubby went once about a month ago and was gone 20 minutes.  When he got home I commented I thought he was going to work out - to which he responded 'I haven't worked out in 6 months so I only did a couple things as I have to work up to it.'  Ok.  What do I know about working out.

At one time I had numerous exercise videos (and I did do them occasionally), other gym equipment that I could use, but the one I used the most was my treadmill.  I bought it probably 10 years ago and I used it a lot, especially when in a walking/step challenge.  Unfortunately, I had to give it up when we moved as I just have no space for it.  BUT I have two rec centers within 3 miles of me that I can go to either one and walk on the treadmill.  It's just doing it.   I will go to the rec center to use the treadmill.  It will get me out of the house for at least an hour.  The rec center we go to the cafe at occasionally also has shuffleboard, a bowling alley, swimming pools, fitness center, and I think pickleboard.  I can get exercise easily at any of them.   

I guess because I am uncomfortable with my body being 'fluffy' that I don't want to work out with weights (and also because I'm not always sure what to do - even with my books - and hubby wants to always help me by telling me what to do, because he knows so much about weight-lifting) so that is my reason for buying the weight bench.  I've been doing what I can here at home, and I'm content to work out with the weights in my own home.  I'm not trying to bulk up anyway, just get rid of some fluffy-ness.  And I can do it in my jammies at home.  And with working from home, if I choose to take a break and walk over to the bench, I can do a few things just to MOVE.  

We are to take care of the bodies that God has given us.  We should eat better (all of us, including me!) and feed our bodies only what it needs and only the good things that it needs.  But, I have to confess, the cheetos and some of the chocolate I got for Christmas are long gone.  And a few other snacks that I got.  I think I need to make a list of things and give to hubby so that he will know what GOOD things to put in my stocking next year.  But I love chocolate, especially dark chocolate, and that's good for you, right?  I've read somewhere that it was.  And in moderation it is good for you, I'm sure.  But when my brother or my sister send me a box of chocolates (yes, they both did) and I eat nearly every piece all by myself over the course of a couple weeks, I think moderation is out the window.

So in the meantime, as I wait for the weight bench, I will continue doing what I'm doing with the weights and bands that I have.  I will be 72 next year - and I am still working.  If I start eating better I will take better care of my mind, and my body.  Cause the junk food that I eat also dulls my mind and prevents me from thinking clearly.  I need to rid myself of the additional carbs and sugar that I eat so that I can think more clearly, and get rid of inflammation in my body which causes those twinges of pain occasionally.  Can I do that?

Yes, with God's help and my determination I can.  And you can too.  I'm not talking 'new years resolutions' or even 'new years goals'.  I'm not even thinking 'well, I'll start January 1'.  I'm doing it NOW, and you can too.   I want to exercise and eat right so that I can live to that old age I've asked God for.  But I want to be able to take care of myself to the end of that old age.  I rarely see anyone now (except hubby); if I'm put in a nursing facility in my old age, I would see people less.  How can I live life if I'm stuck in a place I can't leave?  So I must take care of myself so that I can live later.

And so can you.  It's a choice.  Yes, we all have aches and pains for various reasons.  We all have excuses.  Can't walk?  Get an exercise bike.  Overweight?  Cut back on your portions, and on snacks.  And, in my case, since I pretty much do all the cooking, I need to start cooking better and not use so much pasta.  And leave the crackers and bread alone.  And the chips.  Oh how I love the salty chips.  And popcorn.  sigh.

God wants me healthy and strong.... and so do I.  I want it not only for me, but for my family so that they don't have to worry about me as I age.  I need to take care of me now, so that they don't have to take care of me later.

I have two jars of salsa left in the refrigerator... and 5 bags of chips on the counter.... yeah, need to finish those off before cutting back, right?  Can't let them go to waste.

I read my son's blog this morning before I started on mine.  Seems they are going car-shopping this afternoon for a grandson.  Lord, please direct them to the place where they can find the perfect vehicle for this grandson.  Let the seller be honest in his dealings with them, and let them get the perfect deal.  It's hard to trust anyone nowadays, Lord, when it comes to cars as all they want to do is get rid of them.  And for the highest price.  They don't care what they pass on.  So, Father, I ask that You not only direct them to the perfect car, and the perfect price, but that You will give both my son and grandson the wisdom to see any problems with the vehicle.  Let them find what is needed today, so that they don't have to go back out again.  Help them, Lord, because only You can.  Thank You, Father, for giving them this time together to find what is needed.  Thank You, Lord, for directing their path.  Amen.

Somewhat lazy Sunday....

 We watched the services yesterday that we normally watch.  The first one was right on target.  Pastor Jentezen Franklin of the Free Chapel church - it was previously recorded and shown because he has contracted COVID or has been exposed - depends on what you hear and read in the media.  I don't know which it is, but he is planning on speaking next Sunday, so to me that means he may have just been exposed.  Anyway, the message was on Discouragement and was it ever good.  During this season I am sure many of us have become discouraged - I know I have.  I text'd my little sister and asked her if she had watched it for she is always depressed.  She said she had watched it twice.  It probably wouldn't hurt for me to watch it again, although I choose not to live in depression and discouragement.  He had some really good points, and I encourage you to watch it at JentezenFranklin.com or even on facebook, just type his name in.  He has numerous messages online and I can't think of a time I have been disappointed in what he has spoken.

After the services I worked on my spice rack(s).  There is a story there.  My daughter wanted a spice rack for Christmas.  I ordered her one, only when it arrived - a box within a box with no padding - I heard glass so notified Amazon and they sent another one.  It was packed correctly.  It was then I discovered that I had ordered a spice rack without the spices.  At first I thought that would work and ordered labels to be put on the jars.  I thought she could just buy the spices she wanted and used, and label.  The more I thought about it, I thought that wasn't right, so I bought yet another spice rack and made sure it had spices already in it.  She got that one.  So yesterday, after getting the bed cleaned off and all the wrapping paper stored back in the garage, I opened the broken box.  Three jars had been broken.  I got those out and put together the rest of the rack.  Then I opened the other one, which had none broken.  I wasn't sure what to do with all these, and then I had an idea.  

I am struggling with all the clutter on my kitchen cabinets... so.much.stuff.still.   So I decided to go through my spices in the cabinet, and fill up those in my used spice rack.  Those spices that are not in that rack, I put into the jars and into the new spice rack.  I ended up with an additional 21 jars of spices that were not in the spice rack I always use!  In fact, I think I missed a couple, but that's not a big deal.  I have several bottles left over.  So now I have three spice racks on the counter currently, but I have plans to move two of them, if not all three.  

The good part is that I managed to clear half a cabinet and told hubby that I wanted him to put his pills that he leaves ON THE COUNTER, to put in the cabinet.  So he decides that he can put ALL his pills/vitamins in that cabinet and proceeds to take them from his desk as well and gets them all in the cabinet.  At least they are in one place and off the counter.

I still had much I wanted to work on, but hubby started in 'would you like to go to a late lunch or to an early dinner?'.  I know when he asks that in the early afternoon (especially when I'M WORKING ON A PROJECT) he is feeling hungry.  (I didn't cook breakfast yesterday and we ate cereal)  So I told him an early dinner so that I could finish what I was doing.  4PM or so would be fine.  It's now a little after 1PM.  When I got things pretty much put in jars and he got his pills put in the cabinet, he was ready to go eat - about 2:15PM.  Why can't he be like other people and if you are hungry, just fix a sandwich or something?  UGH.  I was not hungry, but we went out to eat anyway, cause he was. 

As we were walking into the restaurant I had an idea.  I asked if he had his Barnes & Noble card with him, thinking while we were out we could stop there.  He did have it, so after we ate we headed over to B&N where he bought two books and I bought one.  He used his gift card and paid for his other one, and I gave him money for my book.  Yes, I nearly always pay for my things... it's easier that way.  We came back home after that and settled in - him watching his programs on TV and me finishing up a crochet project.  Once the TV went off I was able to read a chapter in the new book I bought.  What book?  I forget the actual title but it's by Dr. David Jeremiah on the book of Daniel.

I am always drawn to Daniel and would love to do a study on that book of the Bible.  Actually, there are several books of the Bible that are my favorites, but I haven't done an intense study of Daniel yet so I enjoy reading different books about him.  In fact, as we are approaching the new year and mentally preparing for our annual 21 day fast, I usually do some form of what we call the Daniel Fast.  Hubby does his own version of what he wants to fast.  I think he has it down to meat and vegetables.  He always wants to do what I want to do, but he can't do what I want to do - and therefore, prevents me from doing what I want to do.... (confused yet?) .... but he always does his own thing because he had a food mindset....he has to eat....and you know when he's hungry.

I haven't made my mind up for sure as to when I will start.  I really want to start January 1 and go to the 21st, but one pastor we watch is having his church start January 10th and go to the 31st, and our church is starting a 14 day fast on January 11th.  Hubby has already decided that since we are going away for the weekend of January 9-10 that we can wait until the 11th to start.  He doesn't want anything to interfere with our eating out that weekend.  

So what is the purpose of fasting in January?  It's giving back to God the first fruits of the year, like we give Him the first fruits of our income. Which is why I want to start on January 1.... but it's still the first month so I guess it doesn't make much difference.   I hadn't really thought about fasting the first of the year (although I have fasted for various reasons over the past 30+ years) until I started watching/listening to Pastor Jentezen.  We've done it in January now for the past 5+ years, I'd guess.  I don't know when we started.  And although there are many people who do fast from all foods except chicken broth (Pastor Jentezen jokes that Chick-fil-a knows when it's time for their fast and they will strain their chicken noodle soup and give them just the broth when they ask for it.) and maybe a cracker when needed.   I'm still processing what I will fast and when I will start.  It's between God and I.... not hubby and I.  sigh.

Back to my spices, I managed to clean out some that I have had forever and perhaps only used one time years ago and put in a jar and labeled it.  Kind of like what we do with things that happen to us, or things we do.  We put them in a jar and label them 'bad experience' or 'good experience' for us to pull out later and either relive them or throw them away. 

I read something interesting this morning about going to a psychiatrist.  It talked about how modern counseling has gone wrong.   Psychiatrists (or counselors) will often urge you to dredge up any and every negative emotion or thing that happened to you in the past.  Then these negative emotions and memories become the blame of what is wrong with us.  Most people will feel worse after going to a psychiatrist because they have spent the hour talking about how bad they were treated or felt.  Instead of thinking about all the negatives, why not review the positive things that happened to you?  What if you stopped and reviewed ten positive things that have happened to you in the past?  Then reflect on those, review those, and accentuate the positive of those things.  That will make you feel better.

But of course that route of treatment wouldn't work for that profession.  People wouldn't need to see them if they could remember the good things that happened to them rather than the bad things.  I think of my own life and my siblings.  As we were growing up, things happened to each of us, especially us girls.  My older sister (still) wants to talk about things and bring up the ugly past.  My younger sister (still) lives in the effects of the past in that she doesn't talk about the bad stuff all the time, but brings up other things that will make her look good.  Me?  I have processed the bad stuff, but I choose not to live there.  I choose to look for the positive things in my life.

I choose to live life looking for the good in people, although sometimes they frustrate the heck out of me!  I choose to live life seeking after the One who can bring the Joy that so often alludes people.  Jesus is the Man of Joy.  He is, truly.  In my darkest moments, when I allow sadness to overtake me and I feel myself sinking low, I know to call on the name of Jesus, and He pulls me out of my despair and despondency, and sets my feet back on solid ground.  I tell the devil to go back where he belongs and to leave me alone.  I belong to Jesus and I look to Him for all I need.

My suggestion to you as we start this new year in a few days, make the decision to find the positive in every situation.  Come out of the house and have a flat tire and don't have the time or money to get it fixed?  What if, instead of getting angry and upset about it, you thank God that it happened while you were at home and not driving.... and that you could have been saved from a serious accident.

My best friend, Bertie, years ago wrote me a story about how God took care of them.  They had been on a trip to another city - can't remember if it was for a medical treatment or what.  But anyway, during the trip they noticed something wasn't right with the van (I can't remember what specifically it was) and stopped to get it checked out.  Come to find out, the axle had broken over the rear tires and there was nothing holding it together.  The mechanic could not understand how they had driving hundreds of miles without the tires falling off the van.  But Bertie and I could.  We both imagined how angels were holding up the rear of the van while it went down the road.  Now Bertie could have been terrified about how close they came to being totally broken down and woe is us because this happened.... but instead she chose to thank God for sending His angels to hold the van together until they could get it looked at.  The mercy and grace of God.

Make the decision to be positive about every thing that happens.  Many times the situations are what we put ourselves in.  And, we have to suffer the consequences of those.  But praise God, He will always be with us and will not forsake us.  Ever.

Blessings!

Cancelled!

 I don't think that I've written about this yet.... hubby was to speak today at one of the RV parks that we go to during the 'winter' months.  BUT - COVID intervened again - and I got a phone call last week that they have made the decision to cancel this week's service.  Seems that several people within the RV park, including some who come to the 'church', have either gotten COVID, or they have been exposed, so that many are in quarantine.   I asked about the first week in January as I am on the schedule to speak then, and they said they would meet this week to determine if they will meet that Sunday.  Personally, I think they should cancel it as well.  They need to maybe even cancel the month of January with new snow birds coming in after Christmas who have been with families and then traveled to get here.  They will call next week and give me the news, I guess.  If they say they are having it, we will attend; and I will trust God to keep us safe.

The few days before Christmas and our celebrations with family, and even now, I check myself each morning to see if my dry throat is the result of my heavy snoring (oh yes, I snore) or could it be something more, even though I hadn't been anywhere but the grocery a few days earlier.   I think we got through Christmas without any exposure from anyone.  

New Years.  I miss our family gatherings on New Years, and some day in the future I may 'open' it back up again for whomever wants to come over... or even schedule like we do Christmas.  I love my family here so much.  I know, especially with COVID, we shouldn't get together, but surely in the years to come it will be gone.  I remember back when hubby told me I couldn't have everyone over for New Years lunch - that has been several years ago - and we sat at home.  Alone.  And I was depressed and sad all day.  And I told him that he would never do that to me again.  I would not allow him to 'keep me to himself' on a holiday when I crave my family about me.

Only life changed and things changed and not long after that we did quit getting together.  There are issues, yes, but I know one big hurdle I had to deal with was that our family had gotten so big that we couldn't all sit around the table and hubby just will not allow anyone to NOT eat at the table... no eating in the living room, etc.  Long story there and not for today.  Anyway, we switched over to the daughter's house and I continued making the ribs and coleslaw and bringing black eyed peas. 

The tradition of pork (in some form), cabbage (in some form) and black-eyed peas came from my mother, who always told us it is called the poor man's lunch.  A piece of pork, usually some cooked cabbage, and black eyed peas was all they could afford to eat.  Supposedly, eating that on New Years' Day would bring you good luck the following year (especially the black eyed peas!)  Oh, and the tradition also was to put a coin in the coleslaw.  It could be a penny, nickel, dime, or even a dollar coin.  The rule was you could not scoop and seek to find the coin, you had to just take your portion of coleslaw and if the coin was there, you got to keep it, and that was the start of your good luck in the new year.  I've always tried to continue that tradition.

For years we had ham, coleslaw and black-eyed peas - and other foods to go with it.   Then I switched it to pork ribs.  Come to think about it, I need to pick some up for us, unless we continue to eat the ham we have kept from the Christmas holiday.  Anyway, we now have BBQ pork ribs, coleslaw and black-eyed peas.   Special memories of holidays gone by.  We change, and times change.  I hope my memories of those times never do.

This year, we won't be gathering together with any of the family, unless we change our minds.  I was talking to the daughter yesterday and we both decided to just take the day off cooking for several people.  I told her that she and her hubby need to just chill for the day.  Will see if we stick to that.  She may just have her family together, and that's ok.  We don't need parent-sitted.  I just love being with family, and it doesn't matter where.

So church at the RV park is cancelled today and we will be back to our schedule of watching our services online.  And that's ok.  I go back to work tomorrow and I know I will have a lot to do.  I did glance at my emails on Friday, but haven't touched it since.  I do have something I want to do today.  Don't know if hubby will agree to it or not.  Our former neighbor is all alone now and I'd really like to take him some leftover ham (I froze some of the leftovers) and maybe a cheesecake.  He loves cheesecake, being from New York.  I feel like we have just deserted him after being his neighbor for years and he was always good to us.  In spite of his issues with hubby.  I'm sure hubby won't let me go alone, and that's ok too.  But I would like to stop by and take him some food and catch up with him.  Will see if we can.

Some day, I will get to do what my heart wants to do.  

Blessings!

Thankful....even a day later....

 What a special day yesterday was!  It was one full of memories for me, one of peace, one of joy, one of happiness.  I was busy all day with cooking and getting things put together but it was such a joy to do it.  

We started the morning out with just hubby and I, and he spoiled me for sure with pajamas (so soft and comfy!), a very soft robe, 3 hoodies (these will last me ten years.  Yes, I asked for A Hoodie.  I got THREE pull over hoodies.  Soft and nice.  Got a gift card for Amazon that I can put with the one from my boss.  (I still have no idea what to get with it.)  Lots of other things from hubby.  After that, came in here, wrote in here, did my quiet time, then the ham got put on for the lunch group - my youngest child's family.

I wasn't sure how that was going to go, and was grateful when everyone came in happy and cheerful.  Seems the daughter in law decided to stay home.  And that was ok.  I did get a couple things for her and her son, and sent them home with the youngest to give to her.   It would have been respectful if she would have acknowledged their receipt; but 'it is what it is'.  We had a good time with the family and with my nephew here.  The nephew kept saying 'you guys shouldn't have gotten me anything', and we all laughed when we gave him a Tennessee Titan blanket, and so did the youngest son.   I think the nephew was not only surprised, but overwhelmed with the way we do Christmas.  I can't imagine not having a Christmas of some sort.  Of course his mother called me yesterday to see how things went.  Guilty she should feel, but probably not.  She has put him down for years.   After a lunch, everyone packed things up and headed out the door.  

We had a breather of a few hours.  I made cole slaw (requested) and made sure I had other things together.  Hubby took a nap. LOL  Put a new ham on, cut up the last of the other I used for lunch.  I bagged two bags of that ham, and need to sort into smaller bags today and put in freezer.   After cutting off some ham for the grandsons, I wrapped up what was left after the 'dinner' ham and sent home with the daughter-in-love.   

After the middle child's family arrived we opened our gifts - and I was spoiled, for sure!  I look at my new pig planter and it makes me smile.  Which reminds me; I have it sitting on the TV stand I told my grandson he could have.  Need to determine when we can get it to him.  If need be, I'm sure I can ask another grandson, who has a truck, to connect and they can work out arrangements to get it over there.  No rush on it at all; still need to disconnect my TV from it and get it put on the bedroom wall.  I just happened to think - I bet there wasn't a TV in this room so there won't be a cable cord.... uh oh.  I only watch movies on it anyway; I wonder if that makes a difference.

Anyway - after we ate - and ate! - me pushing pie to get them out of my house - and leftovers - everyone left and we got the dishes rinsed and put in the dishwasher, and then settled down to unwind before heading to bed.  Sleep did not elude either of us and I think I was asleep even before hubby made it into the bed.  I know I slept sound and although I awoke at 4, I went back to sleep; at 5, went back to sleep; got up a little before 6AM, came in to my room to read, only to fall asleep again until nearly 7AM.  I made myself stay awake so that I could get my quiet time completed.  Hubby got up around 7:30 and made my coffee and brought to me - that helps.

So here I am - on Saturday - I had thought I would have the youngest's family over to bake cookies today... I didn't make the offer... as I mentioned baking yesterday I was told 12/29 was already planned... so I didn't say anything about any date.   Maybe I will divide conquer - get some one day and the rest another.... they go back up north on January 2nd.... only have this weekend unless we do it New Years Eve...  will have to think it out.

Anyway - I am thankful to God that there was peace in the households when they came over.  I know hubby and I had a good time with everyone.  Every visit was peaceful and enjoyable.  Hubby was extremely tired he said at the end of the day, and I was tired as well, but it was a good tired.  Hubby even helped me wash the dishes before we sat down to unwind.

I don't have anything on the agenda, but I'm thinking I need to focus on the afghan I'm making.  God may be up to something... and I need to do my part if He is.  I need to focus on completion of things.  Was glad to be able to pass off some yarn to an 'adopted granddaughter' yesterday.  She was hesitant to take it, but I assured her I got it for free - and she could have it for free.  And even that didn't matter; if she wanted it, she could have it.  She was so excited and was already thinking of things she could make with it.  I'm so glad she was happy about taking it.  

All in all - it was a wonderful Christmas holiday and I enjoyed every minute of it.  We'll probably have ham and eggs for breakfast - imagine that!  Then unload the dishwasher and start crocheting - unless hubby wants to do something else.

He's pretty happy; I 'cashed in' some points I had built up and we are 'going away' for a weekend in two weeks.  It's going to be his job to find a place for Sheeba to stay.  And we are just going to a hotel in Scottsdale - but it's a change of scenery and even though we still can't go a lot of places, it is someplace different and we both need a change for a couple days.   

Well, Sheeba is walking around looking for me so guess I need to get up and open the door.  She was really good yesterday even though she had to stay in her crate most of the day when the families were here.  I wish she wasn't so big for I would have liked to leave her out - but she gets so excited over people coming over that she wants to jump and run around in her excitement.  But she was a good dog yesterday.

Which make my day perfect as we all had a good time.  On to a new day.  And soon, a new year.  What shall I plan for the new year?  Something to ponder - and possibly write about - in the week to come.

Hope your Christmas was a good as mine.

Blessings!

Merry Christmas, everyone!

 We started our Christmas unwrappings last night.  The two grandchildren - and the great - came over yesterday afternoon and baked a batch of cookies.  Grandpa usually leaves us all alone in the kitchen, but this time he stayed in the kitchen and talking to them.  I guess he has missed them too.  Plus it was early afternoon. 

Once the daughter and hubby came over we gathered around and opened our gifts.  I know my daughter is struggling this morning; the first year her daughter is NOT coming over Christmas morning (may stop by this afternoon to drop the dog off for them to dog-sit for the evening).  It's hard, but we need to let our children begin making their own traditions as they start their families.  

After opening gifts I finished dinner and we ate.  It was a good time of chatter for awhile then they made their leave for the evening.  I've already gotten a text from my daughter wishing us a Merry Christmas.  

Christmas.  Today.  Hubby and I awoke early as we usually do and hubby got my coffee, and his, and we brought out our gifts and stockings for each other.  Hubby got me a lot of nice things.  It was really hard for both of us this year with me not being in an office setting.  I didn't need 'nice' clothes.  LOL  So I ended up with 3 hoodies and other things.  And that's ok.  I think he bought me about everything I had on my list he insisted I give him.  He wasn't so lucky as he was even harder to buy for, but he seemed to be happy with what he received.  I ordered everything online and did not go out to go shopping.... which made it more difficult because if I didn't have an idea what to buy, I didn't know what to look for.  He, on the other hand, frequented a few stores to buy my things so was out looking at different things.  Some aren't exactly what I had in mind - and some are. And that's ok.

I slept hard last night from being so tired, and am still having trouble staying awake this morning, but when I close my eyes for a ten minute nap, my mind starts racing on what I need to get done.  Sleep eludes me for a nap - and I do have much to get started on.   

God must have known I would need one more gift in a size I don't normally purchase.  Seriously.  I bought a black hoodie in a size ladies medium.  Most in my family wear a large... or a small.  Why would I order a medium?  I had laid it aside with the thought of putting it away until next year - maybe I would lose enough weight (always a goal) that I could wear it next year (which would mean all three of the ones hubby bought me this year would be too big! LOL) .  During the evening my daughter in love text'd and asked if a niece could come as well today when they do - and of course she can!  I know this one since she was little and because my grandchildren called me 'grandma', she did too.   Guess what!  She can wear a size medium! Guess who is getting the black hoodie?  May not be her color, but who cares if it keeps her warm?  God knew I needed a gift for someone... and He provided without me even knowing why.  He's so cool like that.  Thank you, God.

Today is going to be a busy day and now that we've opened our gifts and nibbled on kringle, and am on our second cups of coffee, we are doing our quiet time readings now.  I just finished mine so wanted to get this done before I jump up to put a ham in the oven.  Boys from both families are fine with ham sandwiches, but I'm adding other foods to have so that others who don't want sandwiches can have a meal.  And that's ok.  That's why I have it.   I sort of expect the second group to come between 4-5PM, but I saw from his blog he was thinking 5-6PM. Considering it takes over an hour usually for us to open gifts, I'm hoping closer to 5PM cause dinner will take a little while to prepare.

Hubby is up and moving around and I left my door open so guess I need to jump off here and get the ham in the oven.  I can't wait to see all my family!  This is my favorite time of year - not only for celebrating Jesus, but for just being with family.    I'm grateful we are able to get together for a short while.  I feel really sad for my little sister today.  She is having NO ONE over.  With two grandchildren tested positive and sick with COVID, and another grandchild exposed to COVID, and her other son's girlfriend sick, they aren't going to make the drive from Tennessee, she and hubby are ALONE this year.  She is really struggling with that and I feel bad as I have all my family around me, albeit one family at a time.  I have tried to get her to focus on the meaning for today, and then plan a big gathering in a couple weeks... she will be more relaxed and ready to enjoy everyone.  It may be 'God-ordained' - the doctor told her hubby that if anyone had COVID and came around him for the holidays, and he got it, it would be his last one.  His health is that bad.  So this may be a blessing in disguise.

Wishing you the best Christmas ever!  Jesus came to earth - not just because - He left heaven to come to earth to save us and redeem us from our sins.  I don't know about you, but that is reason to celebrate.  Happy Birthday Jesus.

Merry Christmas!

Christmas Eve 2020

 It's almost here!  Christmas, that is!  Only one more day and we will be celebrating the day with unwrapping gifts from others, eating lots of food and desserts, and laughing and being with family.  Well, most of us will.  COVID has snatched that part from some people.  I am one of the fortunate ones that will have my children and grandchildren and great grandchildren about me throughout the day.  We will be careful, to be sure, for one never knows that that quick trip to the store could have picked up the bug and it's 'traveling' on someone.  I will be praying protection over everyone who comes over here today and tomorrow, for sure!  Today because two grandchildren and a great are coming over to bake cookies and make Christmas mice before staying for gifts and dinner tonight.

But will we remember what it is we are celebrating even a day early?  Will we remember what this is 'all about'?

Today will start a very busy time for me.  Actually, it started last night as we took 'the nephew' out for a birthday dinner last night.  I told him that we do not normally do that for children (but do sometimes for grandchildren), but we would take him.  The reason we did (not that I have to explain) is because he has been treated badly for years by his own mother, who practically disowns him.  She has rarely ever spoken good of him.  I know for the past few years she has not acknowledged his birthday nor Christmas.  If she does anything for Christmas, she would send a card with a check in it - and he lived in town with her!  No special meals, no inviting over for a gathering.  Just him and her - no value.  Yes, I feel sorry for him and acknowledge that some of this is his fault.  It's not my problem (not my monkey, not my circus), but I want him to know that not all families are like that.  WE celebrate each other, even if it is just a text, a  phone call; something to acknowledge they exist and we care about them.  We had a good time at dinner and he kept saying over and over how much he appreciated us taking the time to take him out.  And it was our pleasure to do so.  When you give value to people, you receive value from them.

When we got back, I needed to finish up on some things I hadn't gotten to - so I started making cheeseballs for Christmas.  I had two made and got to thinking about who they were to go to.  I could only think of a couple people now so I stopped making them.  I think I sometimes would leave one out for everyone to munch on when they come over, but because of the way the house is organized and my kitchen having cabinets and being smaller, there is no place to leave it set out.  Not saying I may not find one!  In fact, a place just came to mind!  But I will have to think about it.  Do I have the time today to make another one.  People I would have made for I won't even see this year.

Once I finish here I want to go in and get a batch of 'garbage' put together.  That's what the daughter and granddaughter asked for for dinner tonight.  Their Christmas dinner.  Garbage.  So we will have that, mashed potatoes, etc. etc.  and PIE.  Yeah, I bought more Schwans pies.  I do need to move those from the freezer to the refrigerator.  I can cook the meat and put everything together and have it ready to throw in the oven later.  I need to do it first thing cause I have a massage scheduled at 9:15AM and I have to leave here at 8:30AM to get there in time.  I won't get back home until about 11AM.  I probably shouldn't have scheduled it for today, but wanted to work out kinks before the holiday busyness.  The two grandchildren will be here around 1:30PM so will have time to get things together before they arrive.  Then we hit the ground running as they will be baking and making Mice, and I'll be setting the table, figuring out what else I need for dinner, pulling their gifts out from under the tree and getting them in a stack.

All this busyness - for today - takes time.  I read about time this morning in my devotions.  It was Ernest Hemingway who once said, "Time is the least thing we have of." And he was right.  We can lament about how much time we DON'T have, that time is in such short supply, but how much of it do we actually waste?  I'm wasting at least 1.5 hours today by driving to my favorite massage place and back.  I could have picked one much closer here and saved a good hour, I'm sure. But I did that once and regretted it by the snobbiness of the front desk.  I decided it was worth driving over to my favorite place.  Actually, we are trying to use up the massages we have already paid for and didn't use (we get one a month and for several months we didn't go).  Once we use them up, our plan is to stop the monthly thing and just go when we need it.  It will save us money, but if we cancel prior to all being used, we lose them.  So we go a couple times a month now to use them up.  Facials are fun too..... I just don't get them often.  Maybe I'll get a facial AND a massage in January....that will use up two of them.

I took today off work as a 'vacation day' because I knew I had things I wanted to get done.  As I mentioned yesterday, I think, one boss is off and the other I cleared her calendar.  Knowing her, she will probably work some today.  She wears me out.  She's interesting, this one.  I love her dearly, but she is always pushing to be 'top woman' .  It's hard to explain.... but just in the way she says some things.... she pushes for our division to be above others, not equal.  She pushes for her people to take the lead on things and not others from other divisions.  She is so involved in so many meetings (yesterday was nearly all back to back 30 minute meetings.  So think of it this way.  Every half hour she would have to call in to another Teams call to get in that meeting.)  She wears me out.  *Yes, I said it twice.

Time will get away from me today, I'm sure, and I'm letting it slip away right now as I type this - and you know what?  It's ok.  It's 5:50AM and although I usually stay 'hidden' in my room until nearly 7AM, I may go out a little after 6AM to get started on things.  But then, do I need to?  Probably not.  I can sit in here and enjoy the quietness of the morning for a little more.  Once I get started, time will rear its head and I will keep an eye on the clock.  So for now, I think I'll sit and push the pause button on my running around....

and think of what this season is all about.  It's not about all the gifts we give or receive.  It's not about the family gathering together to open them and share a meal.  It isn't even about the grandchildren coming over to bake cookies and make Christmas mice.

It's all about Jesus.  Isn't it ironic that the 'Star of Bethlehem' is appearing in our skies during this season.  Perhaps it is to serve us as a reminder that there IS a reason for this season, and His name is Jesus.

Blessings!

He's going to do a 'new thing'....

 I'm tired this morning and didn't want to get up.  I've done my reading and was sitting here with my eyes closed, wanting to go back to sleep, when I 'saw' waves of clouds flow through my eyelids.  I pondered it as it seemed cloud after cloud went by.  As it did, I asked the Lord, 'what is it, Lord?' and it came to me that it is the past being removed.  Things that occurred in the past are being removed, and the new shall come forth.  What does that mean?  Some things I may not be able to understand, and this is one of them.  Was I seeing the things I've hung on to - material, emotional, mental - are these things to be (or have been) removed that I no longer feel I need to hang on to them?  'the new shall come forth'.  What does that mean?  Surely not more material things for I still have a lot to let go of.  

Could it mean that the clutter in my life is being removed?  That would be truly a blessing.  I don't just mean material things around me.  The clutter of my mind.  My wish and hope is that I can be immersed in the goodness of God.  I want to love others like I want God to love me. (sometimes, as you know, that is really, really hard)  My thoughts are not His thoughts, and His thoughts are not my thoughts, His ways are not my ways.... but I really wish His thoughts WERE my thoughts and His ways were my ways.  Why is it I struggle so in this area?  I WANT to be like Jesus, but ME keeps getting in the way.

This morning my devotion was about making memories.  Perhaps that is why these thoughts came to me, I don't know.  Memories made.  Memories being made.  Memories to be made.  Bad memories we push back to the back for we don't want to think about them.  Some memories we hold dear to our hearts that they will bring us much joy.

From the song 'Memories' by Barbra Streisand she sings 'Memories....light the corners of my mind'... take your time... did some memories come before you?  Were they good memories, or memories you'd like to forget again?  

I have different memories from different times in my life.  Some good, some bad.  Has the time come that I am to let go of the 'bad' memories?  Is that what I feel I was being shown this morning?  Those things that trouble me, the things that hurt me, the memories that crush my spirit...  those are the memories that need to go away.  

Just like the clouds I saw this morning being lifted away from me...I need to release them and let them go.  They are to be replaced with memories of Joy, of Happiness, of Love.

I believe they can be, but I have to do my part to make them.  I can't dwell in sorrow.  I can't live in sympathy at my losses.  I can't stay in the pits of my emotions.

I choose to live.  I choose to look at each day with a better outlook.  I choose to let go of bad decisions and bad choices.  I choose to not reflect upon my mistakes of the day before, or even before that.  I choose to live my life - worthy of the One who created me.

Who am I, that the One who created the earth, who created you and created me, that He would look down upon me and show me how to find my way?  Who am I that He would take away the clouds of despair and hopelessness, to bring me joy and hope?  I am but a spec in His eye, but He holds me in the palm of His hand.  And He holds you there too.  Jeremiah 29:11 -13 says "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.  Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you.  And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.  I will be found by you, says the LORD, and I will bring you back from your captivity.....

The captivity that we place ourselves in when we allow our thoughts to pull us down into despair, into the pit of hopelessness.  The LORD created us for better things.  

Where are you at this morning?  We've got a 'new year' coming up soon.  Do you make new year resolutions?  I'm trying to remember exactly what it was my son said they were - he doesn't make 'resolutions', but .... the word escapes me for now.  I am sure I wrote about it when it was said, but it is several years back - perhaps even before I started these posts.   It wasn't long after that - that I quit thinking of resolutions for the new year.  First of all, why do I have to wait until January 1 to begin something new?  If I want to change today, why can't I?  Why put off being better? Or doing something different? Or changing my life?  I can change it today - it has nothing to do with a Sunday, or a new year.

Today is the day that I can choose to make a difference.  What about you?

Blessings!

It was a busy day!

 I didn't get the salsa made last night. Not that it was critical that I do so.  I still have a few more days to get that accomplished.  But, work-wise, I was extremely busy.  I started about 6AM because I knew I had meetings to schedule and other things to get done.  AND.... both bosses had me scheduling meetings like crazy yesterday.  I believe I scheduled over 20 meetings - and that would not be an exaggeration.  I even sent my one boss an email and asked her if she was trying to drive me crazy with having to schedule all these meetings.  She emailed me back and said 'I know, I am sorry'.  Not that that changed anything, but at least she acknowledged she knew she was dumping like crazy on me.  It's all part of the job though and she didn't take offense, and neither did I.  

I'm already thinking I need to cancel my day off Christmas Eve ... but then... I cleared my bosses' calendars where they don't have any meetings.....  one boss did take the day off, but the other... the one who always sends me meetings to schedule... she is working... but I managed to keep her calendar clean because I blocked it off a few months back.... I can imagine her still working and when I get back online will find meetings to schedule.  Oh well.  Even better for me to catch up, she asked me to 'skinny down' her calendar for next week and I've managed to remove a lot of meetings on Monday and move to Tuesday and Wednesday, and blocked Thursday off and of course Friday off.  I have a massage scheduled Christmas Eve morning first thing.... I will definitely need it with all the rushing to get these meetings in before the end of the year.

In thinking about the 'talk' nowadays about the planets aligning last night - specifically about how it is the 'Christmas Star' that the wise men may have followed when they went in search of Baby Jesus, I wonder what people really think about it.  No, I didn't run out side to see it for myself.  I'm nearsighted - why would I think I could see that far away clearly?  HAH.  I did see it displayed on TV and of course on social media, so I did see it.   It was pretty amazing, you have to admit.  

What DO people really think about it?  We often make comments like 'when the planets align, we will....' or 'when the planets align, things will....'  or some other saying about 'when the planets align'.  When the planets DO align, then what?  In sci fi movies and the planets align, doesn't the ocean roar and part?  Mountains tremble and fall?  The wind blows harder and the earth is shaken?   So what happened when the planets aligned last night?

I haven't heard of anything happening.

But I can tell you what happened thousands of years ago.  A Savior was born, who is Christ the Lord.  Born in Bethlehem, laid in a manger, wrapped in swaddling cloths, the One who is the King of Kings.  Did this aligning of the planets happen then and that is what the wise men followed?  I don't know.  They followed it for many months.... it doesn't last that long.... so is it the same?  Again, I don't know.  But I do know Who they went to see, and I do know, without a doubt, Jesus is the Savior of the world.

What do you think about when you hear the words 'Christmas Star'?  Did you stare at it last night in awe and wonder and think about Jesus?   Did it stir your heart, just a little, to think that this very same thing happened 'back then' and it led the wise men - and the shepherds - to the little stable where the Christ child laid?  What were your thoughts if you gazed at it outside, or saw it on social media?

Our world today has turned so far from God they do not know right from wrong anymore.  We are in the 'end times' as they say.  I'm pretty sure I won't live to the end times, and I sometimes wonder how my great-grandchildren (several greats, I hope) will survive.  Will they be 'taken up' when the trumpet sounds because they know Jesus?  Or will they be left to endure .... whatever may come.  Our influence now may be what is passed down to them.  Is it one that will help them to endure to the end.

I read about Martin Luther this morning and how he, on October 31, 1517 nailed a parchment to the door of the University of Wittenberg in eastern Germany.  His document contained 95 theses, or points for debate.  The great idea at the center was salvation by faith, not by works; being a good church member is insufficient to pay the price for our sins.  This movement, launched by Martin Luther, also reestablished that we have direct access to God through Christ, our high priest.  Luther was brave enough to stand up the the church as it was at that time.  The people were told they had to go to the priest of the church to talk to God.  I'm so glad Luther knew his Bible and would stand up to them.  I am grateful that I can go to God, anytime and anywhere, and know that He hears me.  I don't have to run to a church to find someone to go to God for me.  I can 'do it all by myself'.

And you can too.  My greatest joy would be that all my children - and grandchildren - will come to know the Lord on a personal basis.  Not just know right from wrong, but to have a relationship with Jesus.  To know Him as Lord.  I can't make that choice for them.  My example hasn't always been the best.  But I know that I'm forgiven, and although I may fall and stumble frequently, I know that my Redeemer lives, and I choose to follow Him - no matter what.

Do you?

Blessings!

The Monday before Christmas....

 and I have to work!  I actually need to get online a bit early this morning - well, I don't NEED to, but I know that it will be a busy week.  When I looked online Friday afternoon there were six meetings I needed to schedule - and I didn't get back to them to schedule - so they - and probably more - are there this morning for me to attack first thing.  

I got a surprise yesterday.  A small package was delivered by Amazon and I couldn't think what it could be.  I have pretty much finished shopping - there are a couple things to be delivered by Amazon yet, but overall, I am done, and everything is wrapped.  I opened the small package to find a metal tin that held a 'gift card'.  The boss that I had dropped off her gifts at her house - had sent me a $100 gift card for Amazon for Christmas.   It's the easiest thing for her to give and she knows I do a lot of Amazon shopping.  Last Christmas she gave me a JCP card along with several other things.  Since I am on Amazon a lot more than I am any other store, it works better for me.  Only, I don't usually get online for myself, it's always to buy for someone else.  And that's ok.

I've gotten rid of so much 'stuff' this year that I don't care to hold on to anything.  You would have to know me to know what I'm talking about here..... hubby asked where everyone was going to be to bake cookies the other day.  I pointed to the table, the counters, and I put up the card table for the mice to have it out of the way.  He asked, a few minutes later, if I was going to put a sheet over the table to protect it.  I told him no.  He didn't say anything else but went on his way.  As I thought about it, this table in our kitchen area was bought in 1986 along with the china cabinet.  I remember the year because we had gotten his dad's insurance money and bought it with it.  Hubby treated the table and china cabinet like gold and was always so protective of it.  This past year has taught me it ALL material things.  It doesn't matter if it gets a scratch on it....when we die, it will probably go to goodwill anyway.  

It's interesting how my mindset has changed over this year.  I used to hang on to things for various reasons - memories, just because I didn't want to hurt someone's feelings, just because I didn't want to deal with it, or even because well, it's a gift and I need to hang on to it.... and now.... well, I still love to receive things, but instead of putting that item away to save it, I USE it.  Yeah...I can't tell you how many times I have received a gift and I've 'SAVED' it for a special thing or that someone might need it... and that time never comes.   Now I go ahead and USE the gift for myself.... not saving it.  

I think I have learned (finally) to 'let go'.  My mother was a packrat and taught me to be the same.  Not a hoarder, but a packrat.  I'm learning to let go of things.  Not always easy.  If someone wants something, I have no problem with letting it go.  (I wish people would speak up more often that they want something!)  

I'm also trying to get better at 'giving' gifts in that it isn't something to gather dust, or be packed away because there is no place to put it.  I've lost all my knick knack space so had to get rid of a lot.  I still kept several items that have value, and they are in boxes packed away somewhere.  I'm sure Goodwill made a couple thousand dollars off all that we donated to them this year.  Just no time for a yard sale.

My youngest son stopped by with his youngest son and granddaughter.  She has gotten so big - and heavy!  Can't believe she will be one next month!  She does look like her daddy, that's for sure.  I had to ask the son for jars for salsa - told him his family takes the most jars - and sure enough - he brought me 12 jars.  I'll probably make the salsa tonight.  I'm a bit concerned about the jars I've already made... they may be too hot to eat.  Hubby tried one and said it wasn't hot enough... so in all the remaining jars I added additional peppers.  Which reminds me... I went to the store yesterday to get what I needed to finish up the salsa and the dinners planned - only I could not find any hot peppers at the store like I needed!  Not even jalapenos!  It was unbelieveable!  Will have to send hubby out this afternoon to see if he can find the shelf restocked.  I may have enough peppers ... will see.  I've already made 10 jars and need about 6 more, I'm figuring.  It will be close, but I may have enough.  These last ones may not be as hot as the others.  Which could be a good thing.

I listened to a good message yesterday by Javon Rush, I think his name is.  He talked about how some people think only 'doom and gloom' and live there.  Ironically, I thought about my little sister... and funny how she had used those exact words earlier that morning.  I told her she needed to listen to this message.  We may have tough times around us, there may be sickness, there may be financial hardships, there could be a lot of things going on, a lot of drama.  But do you want to live there?  

My God says He is with me all the time.  He says He will help me when I cry out to Him.  Now He may not give me the answers I want, or give me the answers in the time frame I need, but my confidence is in Him and in His provision for all things.  We've had sickness, we've had severe financial crisis - and God has walked us through them all.  I trust Him.  I don't waller in self-pity or in a victim status.  I choose to LIVE life and give the glory to God.

Christmas will be here really soon now - take time to pause and remember what the REASON for the day is about.  It's not about US, it's not about GIFTS, it's not about family gatherings.  It's all about Jesus.  And that is something to celebrate.

Blessings!

Fun times and fun memories.....

 I hope the grandchildren had as much fun as I did having them over to bake last night.  I can't get over how good looking the older grandson is - wow!  He reminds me a lot of his father at that age.  And his grandfather too - beard and all.  I wonder if there is a way.... get a photo of each at a close age range, and blend the three into one photo.  That would definitely confuse people, but I think it would be a treasure.

Our little great munchkin was so much fun.  I loved watching her uncles take time to help her make Christmas Mice and cookies.  They were so patient with her, explaining what to do.  Reminds me of my daughter-in-love.  She taught me a lot about patience with the children when we were together more.  I watched her correct the granddaughter, and not just tell her 'no', but explain to her WHY she was telling her no - what would happen if she wasn't obeyed.  It really made an impression on me.  I wish my mother had taught me things that would be useful and helpful as I started life on my own and raising children.  I certainly would have done things differently.

I hope the grandchildren had as much fun as I did.  Grandpa felt neglected in the other room so was (being) irritating sometimes, but he lived through it.  He'd come in and offer to help, but my kitchen isn't big enough anymore for lots of people.  He cracked me up last night... I just don't know where he is coming from sometimes.  Of course I dare not laugh in front of him.  After the children finished up and left, I was putting things in the sink.  Normally I do not like dishes left in the sink overnight; which hubby does on numerous occasions - his snacks or glass, etc.  Put the darn thing in the dishwasher!!  And I have commented numerous times about getting up and finding the pans on the stove from dinner still because he didn't want to wash them.  So last night I put the dishes from baking (we had already washed some of them but these were of the last things being baked) and I commented I was NOT doing dishes, they could wait until tomorrow.  Hubby got upset with me and said he hated getting up in the mornings and finding dishes in the sink.  I'm sorry - all I could do was look at him in amazement, wanting to burst out laughing (for sounding like me) and knowing he really didn't mean what he said.  But he was serious.  AND he left the dishes in the sink and went and sat back down.

Sheeba did something yesterday that as far as I know, she hasn't done before.  She isn't allowed to do that.  I was on the phone, walking as I usually do, and when I walked by the front room, SHEEBA HAD GOTTEN ON THE COUCH RIGHT WHERE I SIT!!  She knows she isn't allowed ON the furniture!  I have never seen her on the couch before like that - curled up where I sit at.  All I can figure out is that she was wanting some 'hugs' and felt she could get it with my 'fragrance' on the couch and curl up in it.  She jerked her head up when she saw me and immediately got down.  Then, after the grandchildren left and I was sitting on the couch, she came running to climb up into my lap like she usually does - which is back feet on the floor, front of body thrown over me and head buried in my side.  Only THIS time, she jumped totally upon the couch and laid over me.  She has learned she can jump up there, I guess.  Hubby is NOT happy with that situation, I can tell you!   This is going to be a challenge.

Sheeba has also proved once again that I am not strong enough to hold on to her.  I took her out back yesterday for her business, and she saw a plastic bag in the middle of the yard and started running to it - she took me with her.  I don't know how to explain it, but do you know the achy feeling you get in your ankles and lower calves when you've hit a hard surface?  She pulled me so hard and I fought so hard to keep control of her on the leash, that my ankles and lower calves felt like they had been slammed into concrete.  They hurt for a bit.  If my bones were more brittle, she could have possibly broken them.  She is just too strong for me to hold on to.

Speaking of Sheeba - she has made her presence known at my closed door this morning.  I didn't get up until 5:30AM so am still in my room enjoying the quiet of the morning.  Hubby didn't get up until nearly 7AM, brought my coffee, and took Sheeba out.  Now she is searching for me.  She knows I'm in here and can't stand the door is shut.  Reckon I need to finish this and go greet her.

Sent a danish home with the grandson last night - one for his parents and one for him and another grandson to have Christmas morning - if they want to wait that long.  they don't have to.  I just thought it would be a fun treat.  Can't wait until Christmas - I need to finish up my menu today and make sure I have all the groceries.

Will get to watch church online again today.  Love watching Jentezen Franklin at Free Chapel (9AM & 11AM now) for his service.  I wish I could get all my children to watch him.  He teaches the Bible and doesn't sugar coat it.  At 10:30 we will watch our church online.  We like our church, but we need to pray fire on the preacher's head, if you know what I mean.  But then again, how he preaches is his style of preaching.  Who are we to criticize him?  We each have our own styles.  I'm more like Pastor Steve, who was my mentor.  Hubby does his own thing and most times I can't figure it out.  Not going there.

I hope that you take some time today to listen to some good preaching - you can influence your entire family.  The man is to be the Spiritual leader in his home.  Take the lead; be an influencer of God.

Blessings!

Baking Group #1 today!

 Woot!  I am so excited!  Two of my grandsons and my very first granddaughter and HER daughter (hopefully!) will be coming over to bake cookies today!  I'm looking forward to making memories with them.  It's been a few years since my granddaughter has been able to come up.  How exciting is that!

I am also excited I'm done with shopping!  Nothing else is to be received in from orders.  All is here and I believe all has been wrapped.  Other than completing the menus in my mind.... oh wait, no, I'm NOT done.  I mean, I'm done with shopping, but I still need to make Salsa!  SOME of the grandchildren may not be happy if they don't get that.  BUT - I went to three stores yesterday to find jars to put the salsa in - and all were sold out.  I figure I need about 16 quarts.... yeah, that's a lot of salsa.   I did find about 5 or 6 jars I can use, and I'm going to dig around some boxes in the hopes I have some in there that are usable.  I contacted my youngest son last night to check on jars as he takes six jars back with him.  He checked and had 12 quarts so said he'd wash them up and bring them over the first of the week.  Today he is heading up to St. John to pick up his boys and granddaughter to bring them down for Christmas.  Up and down same day - long trip.  Lord, please put a shield of protection around them and around their vehicle, bringing each one here safely.  Amen.

I FINALLY received the two packages from my little sister yesterday.  She is so funny.  She can find the most unique gifts.  For my birthday she sent me a spoon that had engraved on it something about 'sister'... this time she sent me a spoon, similar to an ice tea spoon, that has 'my ice cream spoon' engraved upon it.  LOL That's where we are definitely different.  I may think that is cute and unique, but I wouldn't spend my money on it to give to someone... just saying.  (But, with that being said, I have spent my money on things that were of totally no value - admitted!)  I also go a box of candy....which will be set out for others to eat.  I really don't need any candy.  We also got a 'game'... I forget what it's called... it's a child's game so I'm hoping our great-granddaughter may have fun playing with it today.  It's a mental challenge game for ages 3+.  My sister says she and her grandchildren play it.....  it's to help the mind to stay challenged and active.  Ok.  Maybe hubby and I can play it (which was the intent) to help 'us' keep mentally alert.  Although.... no, won't go there... LOL

I drove to my old office yesterday and it was so good to meet up with my one boss and exchange gifts.  We grabbed breakfast from the cafeteria and ate in her office.  She gave me a neat tray to put dips or candies in (I put nuts and candy in), her pizzelle (sp) cookies (Italian cookie that she makes every year), peppermint bark candy (why does everyone think I need candy? LOL), and a couple other things.  My mind is blank this morning.  

I then drove to my other boss' house as she lives about 5 minutes from the office.  She didn't know I was coming over, but it doesn't matter.  I found her house and took the gifts up to the porch and went back to my car.  I texted her husband and asked him to come to the porch, because I wanted to be sure I had the right house.  He not only came out, he stood on the porch and me in my car and we chatted back and forth.  I like her husband; we have met a few times over the past few years and he has even made me a couple key lime pies from scratch.  He's also made me a couple pie boxes to protect the pie when I make one and take it somewhere.  Anyway, we chatted for awhile, then said he was going to try and get my boss to come out... but he said she waved him off that she couldn't be interrupted.  So he came out and asked if I'd like to see this project SHE is working on in the big garage.  LOL  Now I see why the car is parked outside!  She loves to weld things.  If you google 'the big pink chair' you will see a chair she made that was on the street in Tempe for a long time.  She made that one for a school project.  Anyway, this thing is probably twenty feet long - it's in the shape of a discus thrower.  It's hanging on it's side, suspended from the ceiling beams of the garage.  It has an all metal welded shape, and she is taking sheets of metal and welding them in pieces onto the metal frame.  It will weigh a ton before she is finished, I'm sure.  It is a huge statue and she will sell it to some big corporation who will put it somewhere.   It was very interesting, and fun to see what she is working on.  I left shortly after that and later in the afternoon I received a text from my boss she didn't know I had been there.  I knew she was back-to-back meetings so it didn't bother me.   I got to drop the gifts off and chat with her hubby some and that's ok.  They both are so paranoid about the virus that their daughter isn't even coming over for Christmas (although she lives in town) for fear of either bringing it or getting it.

And my company is asking for volunteers to work at the different hospitals to give the front line people time off work.  I want to volunteer (against hubby's wishes), but want to wait until after the holidays.  They may not let me due to my age.  I don't know.  Can that be construed as age discrimination?  LOL  I don't want to take the vaccine... so if that is a requirement, I may not do it.  My one boss has already signed up to help after the holidays one day a week.  She is a RN but only wants to take temperatures of people.  She and I think alike.  She doesn't plan to get the vaccine either.  I noticed our division president and his executive assistant are signed up to help at a couple hospitals.  There are two out in my area that I can volunteer at.  

I always have said that when I retire I want to go to a hospital where I can rock the NICU babies.  These two hospitals are for 'old people' so guess there won't be any NICU babies to rock there, but I may be able to volunteer in other areas .... whenever retirement comes.  Still doesn't seem to be in my near future.  As long as I can do the work I am required to do.  I did jump on the computer for a moment yesterday and found that I have about 6 meetings to schedule.  I didn't schedule them - after all, I'm off work.  May do it some time before Monday - but if not - it can wait until Monday.

But for today - I get to see grandchildren, and for that, I'm full of joy.

Blessings!

Doing the Friday dance.....

 Friday. Finally.  I've been waiting for this day for awhile.  Why?  Because I am actually taking the day off work.  Yes, I told them I would check the computer periodically for critical things, but overall, I am off work.  I actually stopped working at 2PM yesterday.  After all, I had originally planned to take yesterday off as well but one of my bosses had called a meeting which I had to schedule in the middle of the day and she said that I needed to be in this meeting.  So I cancelled my time off and told my other boss that I was going to take off at 2PM.  I never did get around to checking the computer last night but will real quick this morning.  Any one who sent me an email would have gotten my out of office that I won't be back until Monday morning.

Why did I take today off?  Because I plan to drive to the old office location and meet up with my favorite boss and give her her Christmas gifts.  Then I plan to locate where my other boss lives and drop hers off on her porch.  After that, I will be making the long drive back home.

So I go to bed last night and couldn't sleep, thinking about the gifts (did I do too much, will they like it, etc.).  I made each boss an afghan... but would they really want one?  Regardless, I had fun making them.  I also have them a big loaf of cranberry pumpkin nut bread.  That has been tradition for one boss as we have known each other for many, many years, and each year she ALWAYS gets some things that I make.  I have just dragged the other in to it.

They both are also getting a big throw pillow I thought was cute - one says 'Merry Christmas' and the other 'Joy'.  And lastly, a cheeseball and a jar of my salsa.  Like I said, some things are just tradition.  I didn't sleep much last night because my mind kept trying to figure out if I should take the afghan out of one, should I just give pillows, take out the pillows......... I don't recall if the one likes my salsa... should I not give it?  What if they did like it?  What if I give it and they don't like it?  LOL  Just crazy things like that most of the night which caused me to toss and turn - and I did not want to get up this morning.  In fact, I was about 45 minutes later than usual.  I must have kept hubby awake for he arose nearly 1/2 hour after I did.

I am done with shopping, I am done with wrapping.  Once again last night I pulled everything out from under the tree and went through things.  I feel bad because my grandsons seem to get the same thing every year.  I'm at a loss as to what to get them, and because I don't see them that often, I don't know their likes and dislikes.  We haven't had any conversations in which I would have asked - or they would have told - and besides, would I have remembered?  When they do say something, I try to write it down so that in the future I can look at doing something.

My family back in Indiana have all received their gifts except one, and he will get his today.  I sent them all danish from O & H Danish.  It can get a little expensive, but if I sent a loaf of my cranberry pumpkin nut bread it would cost a lot more than the bread to send (I found that out a few years ago).  I went to Trader Joe's before Christmas and had seen these danish and the price wasn't bad so had bought a couple.  One cannot stay out of it.  It's addicting.  Ironically, it cost more to send from the original source (the bakery) than it did to buy from Trader Joe's.  One would think there would be a price markup at the store, but ... well, it's about 1/3 of the price.  BUT, I don't have to go buy it, I don't have to wrap it, or go to the post office, or ship it... they do all that, so I guess that is my rationalization.

I went back to Trader Joe's yesterday and bought more.  I want to get one to my kids to have Christmas morning.  It will be ok in the refrigerator until Christmas.  No, I won't do this every year, it's just an inexpensive fun thing that I wanted to do.  The grandchildren will love it anyway, even if my grouchy boys don't.   I hope to drop one or two off to the families this weekend.  If they don't want it - oh well.  It's for easy munching Christmas morning so unless 'mom' plans to cook breakfast, it's a great alternative until their big meal.  Or they can eat it whenever.  Some people use them for desserts.  Yeah, they are that good.

Oh - a funny side-note about the danish....it's something I hadn't done before... but after trying some from Trader Joe's decided to send to family.  The same day hubby's brother & wife received theirs in Indy, WE received the very same one from them for Christmas!  From the same place!  Now we rarely talk even once a year (the two brothers talk about once a quarter) so for us to choose the same place, the same danish to send to each other the same year - is funny to me. Continuing on...

So this morning, once I finish here, and check my computer, I will be getting ready to drive the 36 miles down to the old office, getting there around 9AM.  My boss and I will meet in her old office and have brunch (I am not sure if she is bringing something or if we'll get something from the cafeteria).  We only have about an hour before she will have to drive back home for her next meeting - and I'll head back home.  Currently I have no intentions of stopping anywhere as I don't have a reason to - unless I think of something I need to get to bake.

Baking - which is something I really don't have to do this year...maybe that's why I'm feeling a bit 'lost' and that I'm forgetting something.  Usually at this time I am making things to give to friends at the office.  This year, we aren't in the office so I don't have to.  In fact, I was also going to meet two close friends at this office before I met my boss - and one told me she wouldn't be able to get the car today, and the other said she has been sick all week so couldn't come.  That leaves just my bosses to bake for.  We haven't been going to church (but hope to start back in January, I think) so don't have people there to bake for.  Only my daughter and family like my bread so I don't have to make a big batch of bread.  I will fix up a little something for my neighbor.  Not sure if her family is coming for Christmas or not - her daughter came for her birthday last month and stayed a week.  

I think everyone can say that the holidays this year are a lot different.  A lot.  As long as I can have my children and their families gather around, I am a very contented person.  Family means a lot to me and even though it is a lot of work, I enjoy every minute of the time I get to spend with them.

So I'm doing the Happy Friday Dance today because I don't have to work... and I get to see my favorite boss this morning.  I.Can't.Wait.

Have an amazing day!

"Not my monkey, not my circus"

For some reason I have said that saying numerous times recently.  Oh.My.Goodness.  I guess I didn't realize how often I have said it.  I heard it from my daughter, I think, and with drama all around us, I think I say it to keep myself from getting involved in it.  You know I love to go in and 'fix' things.  Even when I'm not supposed to.

Yesterday, around 7:15PM or so, I heard a truck pull up in front.  Sheeba went crazy with barking.  Hubby goes out to see what it is and a truck is in front, and a person hands him a small package.  For me.  Surprised, because I wasn't expecting anything yesterday.  My two packages from my sister  were still showing 'in transit' since LAST Thursday in Indianapolis.   We weren't expecting them.  An order I recently placed with Amazon will be delivered on Friday.  

I opened the small package to find .... a pair of fluffy pull on thick socks from my little sister.  They are the kind with the grippers on the bottom, thick, Christmasy.  On the top of the toes is a monkey's face with a Christmas hat on.  Inside the package was the shipping papers with the message "Not my monkey, not my circus".  I cracked up laughing - and of course had to call my sister.  I figure I must have said it too many times cause she said when she saw them, she couldn't resist sending them to me.

About 3:15AM I got a text that came through on my fitbit.  It woke me up, but there was no way I wanted to read it but I did glance at the time.   YAY I could sleep another 45 minutes (didn't sleep well last night for some reason).  I ended up sleeping until 4:45AM this morning!  What's up with that?  Perhaps I forgot to tell myself that I cancelled today's 'vacation day'.  I'm going to stop around 2PM if I can, but my boss called a meeting for today and specifically said I had to attend.  Rather than take the day off and miss the call, I opted to just work - I have two sets of minutes to do anyway from the meetings yesterday.  I am taking PTO tomorrow as I want to meet my boss at the office and hand off her gifts and drop off the gifts for my other boss at her house.  One of the two friends I was hoping to meet earlier in the day cannot make it so I need to contact the other and see if she also wants to wait until after Christmas to meet up. This afternoon I will start on a couple cheeseballs and start on making salsa.  Don't have a lot of room in the refrigerator so can't make much up just yet.

When I finally woke up and got up at 4:45AM this morning and made my way in here, I glanced at my phone to see what the message was.  All the tracking we have been doing on trying to find where my packages are from Indianapolis - the ping was to tell me at least one of the packages has made its way to my little city.  Now the question will be, will it make it to my house TODAY or will it be passed another day.  My little sister paid for 2 day delivery back on December 9th.  Today is the 17th.  I hope it gets delivered soon.  Part of this is frustrating in that the post office KNEW COVID was going around and that they may be short-staffed.  They KNEW more people would be shipping things or would be having things shipped to to them.  They KNEW this, and obviously did not prepare for it.  One or two days late is one thing, but a week late because they couldn't even get it out of the city - unacceptable.  Anyway - not my monkey, not my circus.

Hopefully, my packages from my little sissy will arrive today and I can immediately open them - how exciting is that!  She's waited a long time to hear me giggle as I open up some of her things.  She can choose the most unique and thoughtful gifts.  I usually buy out of a necessity, but she buys cause it is fun.  Of course 'fun' things aren't always useful and are often put aside.  Like the flying monkey she sent a couple years ago (it's still on the TV, rarely played with), or the little fella that looks like a pill with legs that you squeeze nd it sounds like a baby giggling (used more often....Sheeba goes nuts when she hears it).  I'm excited to see what she has sent.  Of course then we get 'you sent me more and I know you won't like what I sent' comments.  Before I even receive the gifts I need to reassure it will be just fine.

As I sit here this morning and think about how good God has been to me, to us, and how much He has blessed us this year, I am reminded of the little things I have taken for granted.  And the little things that spring up unexpectedly.  And the things that I have no idea what to do with, or about.  I am thankful that, although some of my family have contracted COVID, they have not been hospitalized and fear has not taken over if they would recover or not.  I am thankful that my daughter in love, although she still suffers from specific symptoms, has survived the virus.  I am thankful that my grandson and son-in-law had a mild case and after a couple weeks were pretty much back to 'normal'.  I am thankful that my daughter is coming out of the symptoms of the virus.  I don't know if she will have any lingering effects, but she is doing much better.  And I am thankful to God, for hearing this mother's prayer for her children, and bringing hope and healing to them.  I am thankful He did not let me fear the outcome, but trust in His hand, that He can heal them.

I have become very dependent upon God over the years.  He has walked me through some very tough times, emotionally, physically, and mentally.  Some times I've wanted to just give up and walk away from everything - but God intervened and set my feet on His solid ground.  I am lost without Him.  I feel sorry for those who do not depend on God for anything.  They have no clue how lost and uncertain they are in life.  They may think they have all that they need, that they can provide all that they need - but take that away, and what is left?  Praise God that He has provided all that we need.  Sometimes we get so used to having what we want, and what we need, we forget to thank Him.

We have no problem (usually) thanking people for their gifts to us.  I'm praying that this season you will take a second to thank God for sending His one and only Son, Jesus.  After all, that's the reason we have this season.

Blessings!