It's almost here!

Christmas is almost here! Today is the 14th, so technically, only 10 more days until the big day arrives! I love Christmas!! Christmas will be different this year with the youngest son in Iraq. I thank God that this will be the last time he will be away. Of course over the last several years he has managed to be gone on several of my birthdays and/or Thanksgiving/Christmas holidays. This should be the last missed one - and I'm glad about that.

As the time gets closer, I find I am nearly finished with everything. For some reason, the tree looks much more bare than it has in years past - I guess I'm just not buying as much. And that's ok. Didn't make much this year, that is for sure. I need to figure out what to make for next year - that will be fun. But what? They've all got quilts now, so what is left?

Our youngest granddaughter came over last night and watched Heidi (starring Shirley Temple) with me. Grandpa had a men's group meeting in the front room, so we retired to the back room to watch the movie. Her emotions were cute. She said the movie was sometimes sad (when Heidi was taken from her grandfather), but sometimes happy (when he got her back). One of my favorite movies I enjoy during Christmas time. After the movie she sat down and I watched as she looked under the tree, to see what was there. I managed to get a couple photos of her to post on facebook - it was kind of cute. It was fun spending time with her.

Lots of changes going on in our household this month.

Been doing a lot of baking already - last count I had 36 small loaves of bread and 11 large loads.... except I just shipped out several loads to family back in Indiana. I do hope they all enjoy the bread and the cookies I sent. I made up my gingerbread cookies, some oatmeal raisin cookies, and the bread. Lil' Mike mentioned dipping the cookies in milk - which worked to his advantage; I sent him the cookies that I cooked a minute too long! They weren't burnt - but they were cooked through. He can surely dip those! I've gotten text messages from the two sisters that they have received their packages, so can only assume the two brothers have received theirs. I still need to get a package or two put together and get in the mail as well - maybe on Friday we can get it out.

I think I'm down to getting gift cards to finish up gifts; I don't know what else to get anyone. Plus I need to get out and figure out what I'm going to be fixing for meals. I have at least two meals to fix - and need to determine what I'm going to do for one group. May not fix a meal for them; got to work them in so that I can have the full family together. And of course I've already heard that my oldest princess can't come up from Morenci cause of hubby's work schedule. And that's ok. I told her to let me know when they can come up and I'll cook ribs for them for dinner so that we can have time together. :-)

And we have found out we are going to have a new little princess in our family!! I'm so excited! I just wish they weren't so far away, and I'm sure mom and dad do too. In time they will get back up this way. In time.

And now my break is over so I need to get busy again. Hope you are enjoying the countdown to Christmas - it can't come none too soon. I discovered today that I will have 3 weeks of 3 day work weeks (with Monday-Friday days off) before I go to a 4 days week (New Years) in 2017 to a 5 day week. That is going to be hard to get used to! I'm bringing all my goodies in next Tuesday to give away, I think. I need to find out who isn't going to be here next week and go from there. But then again, if I bring in and they aren't here - their loss!

Blessings!

December - my favorite month of the year

Yes - December is my favorite month of the year - even more so than August, which is my birthday month! Why? Not only because we celebrate the birth of Jesus, but because of all the hustle and bustle leading up to it. I love the Christmas music, the shopping online (or shopping without people around me everywhere), and being able to buy things for those I love that might, just might, bring a smile to their faces.

I love finding that perfect something for someone I love. The anticipation of seeing their face when it is opened up is well worth whatever the cost is. I remember the year we got our oldest son a pair of golf sandals. He had been golfing some at that time, and it seemed the logical thing to get him that he would use. I was so excited and couldn't wait to see his face - and it was so well worth it. He was definitely surprised! I rarely can surprise this one, one when I can, it brings me great joy.

I haven't done a lot of shopping yet, have done a little online, but not going out as much. I did go out for a couple hours the Saturday and Sunday after Thanksgiving to catch some of the sales, but the problem is that I don't know what anyone wants this year so it was hard to choose things for them. I feel I have gotten a lot done, and yet, not much. I finally have a date scheduled with my daughter to go shopping later this month. I know she needs clothes, but have no idea what. She tends to not get anything for herself, but get for the spouse and children, and when it gets to her, there is nothing left. So - I am taking her shopping to get her some clothes - and then told her she will have to forget about it cause she can't have them until Christmas. But at least I can help her choose and she can get some new things. I'd rather do that than give her a gift card she will spend on the children; or give her something she will take back and spend on the children.

My youngest is a bit harder to shop for this year. I've bought a few things and am wrapping and putting aside for when he comes home in January. I truly miss my boy and will be so glad when he gets home - and I know I'm not the only one.

All the grandchildren have grown up - it seems overnight - and I'm at a loss for most on what to get them. I laugh when I think of the two grandsons that state "if you don't tell grandma what you want, you get clothes". Well, guess what, they haven't told me, so guess what they are going to get. They make me laugh. I'm hoping we will somehow get to see them over the holidays. If the weather stays without snow up there, perhaps I can get hubby to drive up. It's getting more difficult to get him to go places I want to go....

I love all the baking I get to do cause I get to give it away. I need to make more cranberry pumpkin nut breads cause I want to give to several people here at work. It's cheaper than buying a gift; it's something they will eat (usually); and it won't gather dust (I think). Most everyone here enjoys it - in fact, I brought 10 loaves of the bread in - the little loaves - for a bake sale and they sold them for $5 each - and they sold out right away! I was shocked! I wouldn't pay $5 for it - but only because I'm cheap. Two of my grandchildren have asked for it for their Christmas gifts - and they realize they will get it as I have in years' past. Bread, salsa, and cheese ball. They crack me up.

I have about 4-6 people here in management that I create a bag of goodies for. I can't afford to buy gifts so I bake and try to make things they will enjoy. I want to try a couple new things this year and I will need to start in another week or so getting them done. This is the part I love - baking and making.

What is the best part of Christmas that you enjoy? What do you think of when Christmas is approaching? Is it about worshiping and celebrating Christ's birth - or is it how many gifts you get. Let's keep out focus on WHOM it should be on. It can change your world.

Blessings!

Surely it will be over soon.....

The protests, the rioting, I mean. The sad part, from what I hear, is one person posting on craigslist they pay $3500 for people to protest the election. Seriously? We didn't protest when other presidents were elected that we didn't agree with. AND, these are students who aren't even old enough to vote - plus people in one state who were arrested for protesting - did not even vote although they were old enough to vote! What has this nation come to except a bunch of crybabies that didn't get their way.

It seems like it has been some time since I wrote on here - and it has. There has been a lot going on at work; my boss took a promotion, and to ensure that I can go with her, she got me promoted too. Extra pay is always good come Christmas time. It will be a small Christmas - I know, I say that every year - but no one needs anything, and we just don't have it to spend. I am determined to get something each one may want (whether they realize they want it or not - if I buy it, they want it) and not something they can't use. Most everyone got t-shirts and hoodies last year .... it may be the same this year. Well, just for a couple people. I don't have any ideas for most, but need to start thinking ahead. Need to wait for sales to happen - can't afford to pay full price for things that will be on sale for 1/2 price in another week or so.

Work has been extremely busy. Guess it comes with the promotion. Not really, as we acquired another company and have been working to merge them with us, and then we took on some commercial work as well, effective January 1. The past few months have been training and getting these people ready to work on January 1. It's hard when we keep losing our internet in the building. Oh yeah. That's a happening now and then. Lots of moves too. Glad I do not have to move to another building - but the three people next to me - two went to the building next door on Thursday last week (but are back today because they lost internet in that building) and one went to another building across the canal. The hope is that we will have a big enough building in 1-2 years that can house everyone. My one move should be down the way next to my boss's office. Where we have been trying to get me moved since last December. Finally to happen this December.

Next week is Thanksgiving and we get a couple days off work. Well, from work office. I cracked up the other day when I received a call from my daughter who stated that they had decided Thanksgiving this year will just be the 4 of them (without boy/girl friends) and we were invited. When I affirmed our plan was to be there, she advised she was fixing a ham, so would I fix the turkey, dressing and giblet gravy. It made me laugh. I make it every year and take over there. It was just an odd invite. But it will be nice to have a couple days away from the office, although I have so much to do, I may work some over the weekend.

I remembered the other night that I had purchased a Christmas quilt and shams last year for our bed. I got them out of storage and put on the bed. Yes, I'm ready to start decorating, and may pull more things out over this weekend. I love Christmas and it is my favorite holiday.

I'm so glad the election is over, and the holidays are approaching quickly. I get to be with my children and grandchildren and that makes it so special for me. I don't see them often enough. I will miss my youngest, still in Iraq, but he will be home soon. And with all this, I'm done. Need to get back to work.

Blessings!

Will we live or die.... only God knows.

I will be so glad when this day is over. Election day. In the past, I haven't been that concerned about this specific day. I did my civic duty, and trusted that others would choose rightly. Well, obviously this last two election days, they did not. For the past eight years, we as Christians have been persecuted (as in bakery and flower shops being sued for refusing an order) for our religious beliefs - and yet, other "religions" are recognized and awarded. Our country has been divided racially like it has never been before. Our power as a successful nation had been diminished and nearly destroyed. We cannot share our faith in our offices, are not to have religious items displayed - even at Christmas! (but I do anyway) Christ is being removed when He is the Supreme sacrifice for us.

This morning as my husband and I prayed for our nation, for this election, we prayed that the curse upon this nation brought on by the current - and some past - presidents would be broken. We prayed for healing in our nation. We prayed that God will break the curses due to selfish and self-centered gain by individuals and by political parties. And, although I knew I shouldn't, I prayed that God would bring devastation and curses upon those who have destroyed our Christian nation.

Will God answer me? Probably not that I will ever know about, but I do pray that He will raise up the leader who will rebuild America and bring her back to a righteous nation, one that will be honored as a nation who serves God first and does what is right.

For so many years we have been spiraling downward into the abyss and only God can help us now.

Am I afraid of what the outcome could possibly be today? Yes, I am. I am terrified that this specific person will win. Will evil prevail? I pray not. Stories of absentee ballots being marked in a 'secret room' in Florida, 83 early ballots with different names sent to one address in another city, two senators arrested for registered dead people to vote - is the foundation of the person they are wanting to elect so thin that they have to steal, lie, and cheat, to get votes?

God, will You bring healing to this nation? Will You, Lord, rescue us from the curse placed upon us? Will YOU, O God, restore us? Will You, Heavenly Father, hear the prayers of Your children crying out to You for help?

You only know how this will end. All we can do is trust You.

Help us, Lord, for we cannot help ourselves.

I was daydreaming one day last week.....

Yeah, it is something I do once in awhile. I usually enjoy daydreaming, and on my way to work, for some reason, I was thinking of this one scene in the movie "Shall We Dance" starring Richard Gere, Jennifer Lopez, and Susan Sarandon. In this one specific scene, Richard Gere is coming up the escalator, dressed in a black tux, carrying a single red rose. (Ok, I'm hopelessly romantic at times) Susan Sarandon turns, sees him, and is puzzled why he is there. And the reason? He came to dance with her. While she is working late. Her two co-workers were in near-tears over the scene (as I was). They danced, and then went to a party. Not going to tell you all about it.

I was thinking of that scene as I drove in to work yesterday, and a small car pulled in front of me with words written on it's back window. Well, not written, but professionally printed. It must be a business, I'm assuming. It got off the Interstate before I could read what it was about. Oh - what did it say? "Pure Romance".

Did that not fit in with what I was thinking? Pure Romance. Something most women, and occasionally a few men, think of.

I went further in my thinking after that, and began to think of how God loves to romance us. If one is sensitive to it, they will recognize the coolness of the morning created just for them. Or if they would just pause and glance about, they may find a rose or a daisy or a flowering weed, for that matter, created to bring joy for that moment.

God loves us so much, He goes out of His way to show us His love. He does so many little things - and we miss them, because we are distracted, or angry, or indifferent. But they are there.

As I pull out of my driveway most mornings I will pause to look at my roses and admire their beauty. I admire how our yard always looks so nice (thank you Mr. Landscaper!!). I admire the paint job completed on our house that has brightened it up.

It's all about romance. What have you done lately to bring about romance in your life? Was it an unexpected note? A neatly timed, yet unexpected, call? Was it bringing a rose to the one you love, just to say "I care about you.".

Maybe it is even cleaning up the house without whining. Keeping the bathrooms clean. Doing the laundry one week so your spouse doesn't have to. Or just taking time to sit together and just talk. Go for a cup of coffee or tea. Ice cream is even better.

And it isn't just your spouse or significant other. What about your children? Of course it isn't ROMANCE - but showing them that you care in different ways.

What is your idea of pure romance?

it's been a rough week....

I have heard of people losing their pets and how sad it made them, but I had never truly understood their sorry until it happened to me. It has been, well, I can't really say a 'rough' week, it's just been a different week. I have found myself looking for Marley, wondering where she is, what she is doing.... she used to sit at my feet at the dinner table; now that spot is empty. At times she would sit on the futon with me when I did my quiet time; now that spot is empty. She laid next to my chair. She kept hubby company while I was at work. Her presence is certainly missing in our home.

It's been a different week, too, in that my boss has been on vacation all week doing the - what we called 'The Dad Tour' - as she and her husband were visiting both her dad and his dad this week back east. It's been quiet here at work, and with all the changes going on, that can be a good thing, and one that is uncertain. A couple positions were eliminated a week ago - in leadership - which is interesting. One, I'm not really sorry to see go for I did not feel he was a good leader. However, this other one is also my friend, and I will be sad when it is time for her to go.

Sometimes they say our health is reflected in things that are going on around us. I can understand that. With missing Marley, the changes here at work - well, I find I just want to be quiet more. I want to be alone more. I want to step back. Depression? Could be, somewhat. I recognize that. And that is acceptable, as long as I don't allow it to control me. I did allow myself to step back and just be quiet the other night. Hubby was at church, and when I came home to an empty house, I wanted it to be quiet. I didn't turn on the TV, nor radio. I sat in a chair and worked on a quilt for most of the evening. I just wanted to "be". And it was good.

I'm finding too that - but I do blame it on the cooler weather - I don't want to wake up in the mornings! Even though I go to sleep right away at my usual time, I find it very difficult to wake up to get ready for work. Many times I wish I could just sleep another hour or two. Tomorrow I will get to sleep a little later, but I do have a full day planned.

Last week at church I got "cornered" (seriously!!) that my adopted aunt's apartment is a total mess. Now mind you, when she lived in her house, I was over nearly every Saturday to clean and help her get things done. But since she moved to the independent living apartment, I had hoped she could keep a much much smaller place clean. I was wrong. Although I have gone to see her and taken her out to dinner, every couple weeks, I haven't gone to her apartment as she has met me at the door, and also wanted me to just leave her at the door when we returned. But last Sunday I was told her apartment was a mess. My first instinct was to mention that I am only "adopted"; she has a niece who will be inheriting everything, who lives barely a mile from her. Since when did cleaning the apartment become MY responsibility?

But I couldn't say that. I love my adopted aunt and I will happily go over and try to help her sort things out. She's 94 and she just finds it hard to let go of mail, of anything, actually. I am sure what I will find when I go over. But I will go over tomorrow morning. No, I haven't called her yet; I told hubby that we can go out for breakfast, then I will purchase a breakfast for my adopted aunt, and then call her to tell her I'm coming over. She can sit and eat while I work on bringing some type of order to the apartment.

Lord, help me to know what to dispose of and what she will need to keep! I don't mind helping her at all, I love this adopted aunt who loved me when we first came to that church and needed a friend. She, along with her siblings, loved on us and adopted us as niece and nephew over 30 years ago. I just find it interesting that her niece who will inherit everything - does nothing to help her. So sad.

Well, I need to get to work as it is another workday. Hope you have a great day!

Blessings!

Today is the day...

It is going to be a tough day. Even now, the tears gather in my eyes, knowing what this day is going to consist of. It is only 7:08AM so for now, can only wait.

Our beloved Marley has reached her final day. That brings tears flowing down my cheeks to even write that statement. She's had good days and bad days since we found out she had lymphoma. Two days ago she wouldn't eat breakfast - but we did get her to eat dinner. Yesterday she would neither eat nor drink water; just laid either on the tile floor, or if hubby got her to go outside, she would go lay in the dirt in the shade. Last night about 6PM she went to her crate, and laid down. I think we managed to get her up once to go pee, but she went back to her crate and refuses to move from it. She just lays there, eyes blinking. Ever so often she will shift her body.

The nodules on her neck this morning are huge. I'm talking at least golf ball size. You don't have to touch them to see them. I'm hoping she isn't in pain, and yet, once I thought I saw a tear...and that broke my heart. We've managed to get a little water in her by taking a straw and dropping water through her teeth. She then would raise up and lap up a little from a small cup.

Our hearts are broken. Hubby is taking it hard because he is with her all day - so whether he meant to or not, he has become very attached to her. When the vet is open, we will pick her up and take to the car, and go to the vet. It's hard to think that one would have control over life and death this way, but death for her is imminent, and we do not want her to suffer. We will say our goodbyes one more time, stay until the end, and then leave her.

A friend at work thinks I should get her ashes, but we have discussed this and agree that we don't want them. I had asked her 'what do you do with them?' She commented when her dog died, she got the ashes, and it comforts her. I'm sorry to sound crude.... but they are ashes. I could just see me knocking over the urn and spilling them all over the floor. sigh. I have our memories with Marley, and that is enough.

So with this news, I'm done for today. I'm working from home so until we leave to go to the vet, and when we return, my thoughts need to be focused on work and I can get some things done. Perhaps that will help me to get through today.

So long, my Marley girl. I love you so much.

Addendum. And it is over. Our precious Marley is in doggie heaven. Hubby and I both were calling the vet with questions of 'is it time'? 'is it the right thing to do?' and still wondering if we should. But we finally took her to the vet. And then it was over. We stayed with her a few minutes, shedding our tears, and saying our goodbyes. My heart is broken. But Marley will always live on in my heart. God speed, my Marley girl.

Recent happenings...

This post is mainly to update family - although I think only one person occasionally still reads my posts. Which, I must admit, have gotten scarce lately. I had gotten off track of what I wanted this blog to be. In fact, I think since 2013 my entire life has been turned upside down and spit out due to other people's insecurities and accusations and comments. It wasn't a normal spit it out and let's move on, it was hateful. And very damaging to my very soul.

But I have moved on past that and even this morning as I reflected on how I have worked my way back to living life again, I know I still have a ways to go. I recently finished reading a book titled Without Rival by Lisa Bevere. I saw myself in some respects in it, and yet, not really. What am I talking about? The book talks about comparing yourself to other people. Is there a special list you want to be on and you don't make it - does it upset you? Is there someone's attention you really want and someone else gets it - is that a problem for you? (I'm not talking parent/child here). What about if you see someone who seems to be more "spiritual" than you, or more "athletic" than you, or more " (you fill in the blank) " than you..... how does that make you feel? Are you comparing your abilities, skills, and yourself to this person's abilities, skills, and standards? DON'T! God made you in His image, gave you specific gifts, (yes, it is your responsibility to develop them) and He is the one who has good things planned for your future. Anyway, I reflected on how in the past I always wanted to be like my little sister, because I thought she was funny and beautiful. God showed me years ago that I was doing that - and I shared that with her. THAT didn't go over good - that I wasn't going to do that any more. Anyway - on to my story from last weekend.....

Last Friday, one week ago from today, on my way home from work (as usual) I called my older sister, J. I called numerous times on my way home, and got no answer. I shrugged it off and thought maybe someone had taken her out to dinner. Monday on my way home from work, I again called J, and again got no answer. I called numerous times with no response. Not that I was worried, but I was concerned, for this sister lives alone. I called her son to go check on her; he didn't answer his phone. I called again. No answer. I called my younger brother, no answer. Called my sister again and still no response. Called my little brother again and got him. I expressed my concerns about J and asked that he run by and check on her.

Well, he had something else going on, he'd have his wife call her (like I had been calling her for nearly an hour with no answer!!) and would get ahold of her son, who wasn't answering his phone. By now I had arrived at home. I texted my older brother to see if he had talked to J over the weekend - nope, it had been over a week. I text my little sister to see if she (since they are not 'friends' I doubted it, but I was grasping at straws)had heard from her over the weekend. No one was volunteering to go immediately go over to check on her (granted it was 9PM) - two said they would go if I thought they should. Again, this was Monday, and I had no answer on Friday, and was getting no answer on Monday either.

Long, long story short..... My little brother got ahold of J's son, and he went to the apartment - where he found her on the floor in the bathroom. He called 911 and she was transported to the hospital, where she still is today. She is to be moved to rehab, if all her tests come back ok.

Seems she went to the bathroom just before I called on Friday, fell, and didn't have the strength to pull herself back up. She laid on the floor for four days - Friday until Monday evening - before she was found. Without food, without water. She did have enough sense to flush the toilet, get her fingers wet to keep her lips and tongue from drying out. And, yes, she did make a huge mess on the floor. AND, from what I understand, she had a cane in the bathroom and banged on the walls and floor, trying to get attention from anyone. No one heard her - and her floor is destroyed and I assume the walls are too. I believe that her keeping her lips and tongue at least wet kept her alive, although I don't think she would have made it another day. She had been without all of her medication for four days; no food, and no water to drink. She had been spending most of her days in bed anymore, watching TV, so she had lost muscle tone in her legs and had to strength in them to even stand up. I'm sure she crawled TO the bathroom, and when she fell, she couldn't move. Her lack of medication over the four days also made her incoherent, as well as lack of fluids.

The first day I called her in the hospital she was still incoherent and hallucinating. She would say things you knew were totally off the wall - she was not in Tennessee, she was not doing this or that - we would have to let her talk, then bring her back to the subject. The second day I called she was better, but still incoherent at times. Finally she said, "I've got to go - I've got stuff to do". I have no idea what that was about. Yesterday I talked with her and she seemed to be overly drugged. Not sure if I could explain it. She had been without her meds for four days, the hospital did a medication reconciliation (meaning they checked to see if she really needed the drugs and if they worked together or against each other), and I don't know if they are giving her the regular meds or something different. We didn't talk long.

She is to go to rehab today, and I will call on my way home from work tonight to see if she made it. She will probably need to move to an assisted living location, or at least get a "help me I've fallen and can't get up" button.

What is really sad is that she commented Wednesday night that I was the only one who ever checked on her frequently. I try to call Monday-Wednesday-Friday on my way home from work. Occasionally I will call on the weekend if she texts and says "call me". Usually it's something she has seen on the news and wants to tell me about.

So that is my story. I don't know if she will ever completely recover from this, but my prayer is that she will accept this as a second chance, a 'do over' and will start being active and being involved with life. She wasn't taking care of herself, she just didn't care. I am sure I will hear at some point she wished I had let her die there. But I'm glad I pursued getting someone to check on her, even though I wasn't confident something was wrong. One day we don't talk is no big deal (then), but when it was a Friday-Monday, I was concerned.

Do you have someone in your life that you haven't touched base with for awhile? Pick up the phone or send an IM to check on them, on their well-being. You just may save their life. I'm grateful God used me, 1800 miles away, to check on my big sister.

Blessings!

Another month about gone!

I look at the calendar this morning and realize that September is nearly past us. Where does all that time go? And then when I look back even over the past week or so - I see so many missed opportunities to DO something. To create something. To accomplish something. And I did nothing but sit. Well, until last night.

My boss's birthday is Saturday, but she is taking a PTO day tomorrow, and on Monday she has a trip to Corporate. Looking at her schedule, it looks like she will also be at another office on Tuesday - so I am trying today to get this all pulled together. I want to celebrate her special day - early. I was going to make a cake last night - but in fear I wouldn't get it done, or it wouldn't come out right, I stopped at the store on the way home and bought a cake. Then I went ahead and made cranberry pumpkin nut cupcakes and little loaves.

I brought them all in to work today. My boss is at the other office until about 10:30 today so hope she gets over here for I am planning on surprising her about 11:30AM. I had planned to do it in a huddle room - but unfortunately, that huddle room is already taken, so guess we will just move it to her office. I will figure out some way to handle it there. Still need to send out an updated email identifying where we will be meeting. She thinks she will be in a meeting with our CMO and VP-Ops. I hope we can pull this off.

I'm doing well, I think, on this challenge I've been on since 9-5-16. I have even exercised every since day since then - whether a video or walking for 30 minutes. I haven't lost much as far as weight, but I do believe I have lost some inches. I weighed this morning, and I'm still down nearly 3 pounds, but the better part is that my clothes are fitting better. I'm enjoying this in that I am pretty much eating healthy. I occasionally fall off the wagon (like pizza the other night with the grandchildren - but I did only have 2 pieces - usually I eat 3 or more). I have managed to be pretty good during all the lunches..... yesterday I DID have potato chips though. :-( But I didn't eat any dessert and that is a big positive!! Our challenge goes until October 2nd so I hope to see a big drop in inches at least by then. Yeah, had to measure BEFORE we started the challenge too. AND take photos. Those before photos were NOT pretty at all!

I'm really hoping that soon others will see that my body is healthier and more flexible, and thinner. Then perhaps they would ask how did I do it and I could share that with them. I won't pressure anyone into anything; but I want to help them get healthy and live a good long life. I do have some comments about something that happened this past weekend.... but I will do another post later and share it.

Blessings!

Tough Weekend.... still processing through....

We had a tough weekend. This one more so than others. Let me tell you our story....

Middle of August we took our dear Marley for her shots and checkup. She got 4 shots, and given a clean bill of health. A couple days later she quit eating. Still active, but refused to eat. Hubby takes her back to vet hospital (where we have taken her since we got her). They suggested a canned dogfood that might entice her to eat. We buy six, then get a case because she did start to eat again. The Dr also gave us 5 prednisone pills to give her. She started eating again. I am sure by now I'm getting my story mixed up - but she quit eating again. Can't remember now if hubby took her back again - or not - but he did go back on his own I think last Wednesday.... and talked with the doctor because the only thing we could get her to eat was a chicken breast if I handfed her.

The vet hospital doctor suggested we do blood work $$. Hubby said we'd think about it.

I come home from work on Friday and hubby tells me to pet Marley and feel her neck. She has two golf-ball size nodules at her throat. Still won't eat. Not even chicken from my hand. We take her to another vet by us. They had to give her a shot to paralyze her because she started snapping at them. I'm guessing she's tired of doctors! The assistant found the nodules - and a few others. The doctor exams her and tells us her tonsils are totally swollen (who knew dogs had tonsils?) but that with the huge nodules in her throat (lymph glands) and the ones the found behind her rear legs and her front legs, they were confident it is lymphoma.

Yes. Lymphona. Marley is only 4 years old. We were shocked and didn't know how to even respond. The Vet gave us options of he could remove a nodule and examine it; he could send us to another specialist who could do chemo, which would probably kill her or give her one year (seriously?), we could give her prednisone to reduce the swelling and see how that goes. All in all - the $$ kept adding up.

Still in shock and disbelief, hubby wasn't saying anything. I finally said that because we hadn't had time to talk about it or even process, for now we would opt to do prednisone to get the swelling to go down, and get her eating again (she has lost 6 pounds in the 2-3 weeks). He said fine, and gave us pills to last a couple months. Nothing was said about "how long", or "bring her back in xx months so we can see how she is doing".... nothing. So we are at a loss as to how long she will be with us. It could be a year or more or ?? We have no idea. We don't want them doing anything to her to give us a lesser quality of life, and it doesn't matter what "stage" the lymphoma is - it isn't going to change the prognosis.

So after a couple hours of waiting to see if the drug would wear off, we brought her home in a blanket because she still couldn't raise up. I kid you not - I don't know what they gave her, but she was paralyzed until nearly 10:30 PM and she got the shot around 3PM! We finally coaxed her all the way up about 10:30 and got her outside to pee and everytime she would try to walk, she would collapse. By morning she was much better.

Sunday when we came home from church she had had one pill, so she ate chicken from my hand. By her evening meal - of cooked egg, rice, and chicken - she inhaled it. Every single rice particle. Ok, she left a couple. But she ate the entire meal.

We have decided we will give her the prednisone for as long as we can to keep her eating and moving. When the time comes, whenever the time comes, I guess it will happen. Right now she doesn't appear sick; the swelling has gone down on one nodule. Quality of life - that's more important at this stage.

One day at a time takes on a new meaning.

Blessings.

Saying 'see ya later'....

Yesterday was a fun and interesting day. Grandpa and I had the honor of moving one of our granddaughters into her college dorm. Mom and dad were in Prescott moving the son into his college so we got to help our granddaughter. The day started out very early - and she was so excited (I think) about moving into her "dorm home" that she was ready by 5:15AM! So we headed out the door and was in line fairly quick - in fact, I think we were in the first group of 10 cars to be unloaded. They didn't wait until the 7AM schedule - once they moved us up to the dorm line we were to go to, it took less than two minutes for the students helping to unload my van and get it moving towards the dorm on the 4th floor.

Grandpa and I continued on until we could park the van, then walked part way back before being asked if we wanted to ride (students driving carts around) and answered 'yes!" for we weren't sure where we were going. Our granddaughter met us in the lobby then it was climbing 8 flights of stairs (4th floor) to her dorm room. We helped move things around a little. One roommate had moved in the day before because she was in band. Another arrived while we were there. Looks like our granddaughter will have her room to herself since her previous roommate wanted to room with another friend. So we stayed until there was nothing else for us to do. Taking our granddaughter back to our house to get her car, it didn't take long for her to head out again to get more of her things and back to the dorm. She was so excited to be back "on her own" and with her friends.

Picture her as climbing on her bed, smiling real big, and with a big sigh say.... "Home". She was definitely very happy when we left. And it seems her hives have started going away. Imagine that.

I'm back at work today and it's only Wednesday but a long week. My boss is in California yesterday and today, and then flies to Florida for Thursday and Friday. It's all work. Then she's gone a few days in September, then does the 'Dad Tour' in October where she and her hubby fly back east to visit both dads.

We don't have any more trips planned. I was to go to the 'Yellow Ribbon' with a daughter-in-law in September - but it got postponed. I don't have that many vacation days left - if I use them all before it's scheduled, I won't be able to go. Trying to save one of my two left.

Need to plan a grandma day.... missing my princess who lives out of town. Maybe soon.

Blessings!

Healthy and Wise.... maybe...

I had a doctor's appointment this morning. Nothing crazy; just a yearly physical. Of course we didn't talk about results - I have to go back in two weeks to get that information. No, today was going in, weighing in (gasp!!), and getting the EKG, vein check, breathing check, eye coordination, etc. - all that fun stuff. And, cause the insurance decided that the doctor's office can not take my blood in the office anymore - I had to get a prescription to go to the lab to get blood drawn. Won't be doing that today. The lab work, I mean. I hadn't eaten before - wanting to be in 'fasting' mode... but with coming to work after the doctor visit, I ate pasta and salad for lunch... and bread... which I need to quit eating.... so will wait until next week to run to the lab to get my blood taken out.

Overall, at first glance anyway, the doctor said I was healthy. I don't have any major complaints and I'm not on heavy doses of medication. I am "proud" that I only have to take a thyroid pill and forced to take a statin for cholesterol.

Of course I can never get rid of the thyroid pill, but if I will get my act together and eat like I should, and exercise as I should, I could get off the statin. And that should be incentive enough for me. I detest taking medication. And I hate it that - really hate it - that he says I have a chronic cholesterol problem because I take a .40MG pill. I do NOT have a chronic condition! Yet, because of that little pill, he says I do.

And we also discussed my weight. I told him of my plan, that hasn't materialized yet, but I am working on it. I want to get down to xxx by January. He told me it was being unrealistic as it meant 33 pounds. So? The doctor says I should lose only 1 pound a week so that it would stay off. I know I can lose more than 1 pound a week if I applied myself.

I should just show him! I should! If I start watching what I eat, and start exercising, I bet I CAN lose the weight and be at my goal by January! Time will tell.

But over all, I am grateful to God, for He has taken good care of me and I'm healthy - and wise, I like to think. I have some osteopenia - cause I've gotten older - but I can still walk and move and breathe. I need to walk more; I need to move more. And by His grace, I can.

Stay tuned! One thing the doctor did say to me.... when were discussing shots and some tests he thinks I should get - because of my age, basically. :-p "You are in charge of your body and what goes in it, and what you allow to be done to it - whether to help it or harm it. It's up to you."

I told him I'd 'think about it'.

Hang in there - we're all getting old...

Blessings!

Today is MY day!

I love celebrating birthdays - whether they be my own or someone else's! Ironically, the person who sits directionally from me - a new person - today is also her birthday. Her desk got decorated up but mine did not. And you know what -it's ok. Oh they did sprinkle a few "balloon" glitter on my desk, but nothing else. And I'm ok with that. I've had my share of decorated desks. It doesn't change how I'm celebrating ME, and celebrating my day.

I've already gotten lots of texts from family wishing me happy birthday - and to me, that is the most important of all. Friends and coworkers come and go, but my family is always with me. I treasure each 'happy birthday'. It isn't about gifts at my age - I prefer the 1:1 time I can get from each one.

Hubby screwed up and thought my birthday was tomorrow - so he still has his men's group meeting tonight. In his place, two of my grandchildren have stepped up to take me out to dinner. It is either that or I sit in my room as I usually do on Tuesday nights when he has his meetings. NOT on MY birthday!! I'm going out to dinner tonight!

We will be getting away for a few days this weekend - it will be nice to have cool air to walk in. I'm actually looking forward to it.

My heart is heavy for some family members.... Lord, please be their peace and comfort for today. I don't know all the problems or issues they are up against, but You do. I ask that you bring them peace in the midst of their storm. Thank you, Lord. I know You will be with them, and I entrust them to You. Amen.

Feeling Heavy Hearted

I'll be so glad when these elections are over. I don't care for either one running for President, but one of them really disturbs me and although I knew it was going to happen, my heart is so heavy because of the possibility this person could actually win. I don't believe it will be honest, if this person does, for everything about them is deceit and wrong. I don't like what they stand for, I don't agree with their politics. I fear mostly for our country and last night I felt so overwhelmed with the devastation of our future as a country that I could not keep my tears from falling. My heart feels so heavy that even with praying and crying out to God for our country, that whomever gets elected, God will bring people alongside them to give them wisdom and the ability to make wise choices, and my tears would come unbidden.

I don't know why my heart is broken like it is for my country, but it is. I want to just spend the day crying out to God to rescue us and redeem us as a nation. But it won't happen with just my prayers. We all need to be praying for God's intervention. Everyone seems to think they are right in their political decision. I have no decision; I keep praying, as I have all along, that God will guide me in my vote, that I will vote for whom He plans to use to turn our country around.

I've read where one person says that Donald J. Trump will be our "Moses". I don't know. Could, I guess. Another person thinks Hillary Clinton walks on water, and that she should be president because she is a woman. That is the lamest excuse to vote for someone. Personally, I feel neither are qualified. I'm sorry that no one stepped up who WAS qualified to be President. I feel whoever leads our country should have a military background, that they understand what our soldiers go through on the battlefield. I barely remember Ike Eisenhower, but I think he was a General and I've heard people say he was our last great president.

I fear for where our country is heading. Unfortunately, the way it is heading not only affects those who involve themselves in these activities and sins, it affects all of us. It affects you, and it affects me. Our rights have been taken from us. We no longer are any value to some people because we disagree with their lifestyles. If they want to live in sin, that is their business, but do not cause me to suffer the results of your sin.

So my heart is heavy this morning and I have spent time crying out to God for His intervention, that the right person will be elected. Maybe if a 'bad' person is elected, it will turn everyone to God. I don't know. I only know I can pray - and continue to pray - that God will rescue us. Will you join me in that? Will you let things just happen - or will you also cry out to God for His intervention to save our country from those who want only power and money and will destroy everyone who gets in their way. People have died for exposing others. May God forgive us for allowing these people to govern us. Please pray with me for our nation.

Blessings!

Gratefulness

Gratefulness. One word, and yet, powerful word. The dictionary describes it as:

grate-ful - [greyt-fuh l] adjective

1. warmly or deeply appreciative of kindness or benefits received; thankful:
I am grateful to you for your help.

2. expressing or actuated by gratitude: a grateful letter.

3. pleasing to the mind or senses; agreeable or welcome; refreshing:
a grateful breeze.

And I guess that does apply. I am grateful for many things. I am grateful for my job. For one thing, it gets me out of the house and keeps me busy doing productive things. I'm also grateful I get paid for doing this job so that our bills get paid.

I'm grateful my husband makes my coffee and brings to me every morning. This morning a coworker was sharing that she gets her coffee ready, then puts the travel mug under the spout(?) and then will wait until she's ready to leave before making the coffee so that it will hot. This morning her husband came in to where she was getting ready and told her, "Don't make me coffee this morning". So when she is ready to leave, she goes in and pushes the button for her coffee - only to find it overflowing all over the cabinet and floor. Her husband had pushed the button for her - but didn't tell her the coffee was already in the cup - which he left under the coffee spout! They had a little discussion about it this morning. He claimed he 'always' made her coffee in the mornings and she said 'no, you sometimes make the coffee, but you did NOT tell me you had pushed the button this morning!" I was cracking up at this dialog.

I'm grateful for God, who loves me unconditionally. Even when I screw up. Even when I get angry, or when I do really, really, stupid things. I'm grateful for His forgiveness, for His kindness, for His blessings.

So many times we forget to notice the blessings we have. If we have a job, God has blessed us with it. If we are being paid to do that job, that is an additional blessing. If we are healthy, it is a blessing - so many people have many medical issues.

If we wake up in the morning, we are blessed. There are so many things that we can be grateful for, things that we take for granted.

Take some time and think about all the good things you have. And think about the 'bad' things that you have gone through - and come out smarter and wiser for. Be grateful.

Blessings!

Convicted by a blog....

Yes. I am convicted by a blog. A granddaughter's blog, no less. A granddaughter who I have probably only seen three times in the past 20 years. She is my husband's granddaughter, actually. But her blog, of which I have recently found out about, is very touching. Convicting. Full of passion. Filled with Commitment.

This granddaughter is currently serving as an intern (4th mission trip) in Haiti. She has fallen in love with the children there and has signed on this year as an intern for six weeks, helping the children and the people. Here are some of her comments over the past three weeks....

Week one - The children’s home is on campus and it holds 11 children who are orphaned or have families that are unable to care for them. It is not an orphanage and the children cannot be adopted. This summer here will be hard, there is no doubt in my mind, but every day I have felt reassurance that this is exactly where I need to be.

Week two - I had three of the kiddos who I have loved for four years now tell me their stories. In broken English they told me stories about the day of the earthquake and the days they became orphans. They all told me very casually as if they knew I was in for a longer haul with them and they figured it was simply something I should know before proceeding with our friendship. However, as I spend more time with the little ones and they realize I have a different role, they realize that they can seek me for comfort. It feels good to build trust with them as they see that I am not leaving as fast as usual, even if it is just reaching out for a hug after they scrape their knee. Beauty and deep pain seem to go hand in hand here. The work is hard and seems very menial to me, and I need prayers for a servant’s heart even when I have cuts on my arms from carrying cinder blocks and an aching body from lugging bags of cement around or when I am not sure how I can help.

Week three - It is Jesus we are chasing and He is found on the path He laid out for us. Joy is just a really nice side effect that I could use more of. I know after this is all over I will look back and realize I have been re-aimed to launch toward Him and nothing else. I know that. This is a mess, but it is a glorious one. Hard days followed by afternoons where my heart could burst from joy because I hear laughter from one of the children I love. I know that this is where I am supposed to be this summer. Even as I envy my friends who are hanging out by the lake and eating anything but rice and beans, I know that God sees me and He sees this ministry in Haiti and He needed the two to collide right at this time.

I am blown away by her passion for Jesus, and her compassion for others. I feel like I have kind of withered away from what my passion was.... and I have. I don't get involved like I used to. I don't teach anymore. Yes, I do still "preach" from November to March, but it isn't the same. I want my passion for Jesus to 'rise up' and serve others with love and compassion. I thought over the past few years that God put me in a holding position.... because I had so much to learn. And I have learned. But I also long for days where I am busy serving others and compassionately meeting their needs.

I would give up my job if I could serve others (and not have to worry about the bills being paid)with compassion and commitment. I used to think that God had a place for me as paid staff at a church where I could be involved in His work and give myself to it. But apparently that was not in His plan. I continue to work and see no chance of achieving my dream. Not that I feel sorry for myself, I don't. God has been gracious to me and has given me a good job which I enjoy. And I can serve Him here as well. But it wasn't my dream.

But then, God never said He would give us our dreams. We fulfill what he has for us. In His time. In His place.

Convicted by our granddaughter's blog, I still wait for assignment. Surely God has something for me that I can serve Him passionately. Are you still waiting as well?

Blessings!

I've lost color....

How odd it looks - my blog without color. I do some editing, some changes, but nothing brings it back. Yet - if I look elsewhere, the color is there. Perhaps the blankness is a reminder of what my life has felt like lately.

Empty. Barren. Void of color. Quiet.

What about you? Have you been feeling that way as well? Perhaps Alone. Separated. Overwhelmed with Life. Just Plain Overwhelmed. Sad. Hurt.

So many emotions and they each can convey something else. And this all came about because my color is gone from my blog as I write this. Are they emotions that I have felt recently? Yeah, I'm sure of that. Are they emotions that perhaps even you have felt recently? More than likely.

What do you hold on to during these times? What keeps you going each and every day? What gets you out of bed (besides your job!) to live life - even with the above emotions.

For me, it is Jesus. Don't shake your head at me. Each of us have a need to hold on to something. Or Someone. For me, I shudder to think what my life would be like if I did not choose Jesus several years ago. I definitely would not be where I am now. I truly believe that God, in His mighty mercy and grace, reached down and pulled me from the pit that I was heading into.

I made so many mistakes. I did so many stupid and naïve things. Many things I am ashamed to even think of now. I was so so stupid.

But Jesus reached His hand down and pulled me up out of the miry pit and set my feet on solid ground. Thank you, Jesus.

Do I sometimes still make mistakes or do stupid things? Yes I do. Sometimes I am so broken by life that I don't know why He pulled me from the edge. Or why He still does.

But He does. His love for me, and for you, is unending. There is nothing I can do, nor anything that you can do, that would turn Jesus away from you. He loves you more than a mother could. In fact, if you were the very last person on earth, Jesus would still go to the cross for you. He would still die for you.

And that's pretty amazing. When I feel all the above emotions, I know that I am still not alone. Jesus is with me. He sits and waits for me to talk with Him, no matter where I'm at. I not only talk with Him in the early morning, but He is Whom I talk to on my way to work. I can't imagine not having Him to talk to.

Why not take the time to talk with Jesus? It's just like talking to a friend sitting in the seat next to you. And it's all confidential! Talk to Him about what you feel, how things are going. Tell Him what you need. And listen.....He just may answer you.

Blessings!

Life goes on...

It has been a lazy few days, I think. Today I'm in Tucson with my boss meeting up with our Tucson staff in their new offices. So far so good - except I was busy working on my laptop when all of a sudden it died. Whew. I did bring my cord so plugged it in and I was able to get started on stuff once again.

It is more difficult for me to work off the laptop itself because it is just one screen. At my office I have two large screens. But nothing compares to the 3 ft. screen my grandson bought himself! AND he can make it two screens if he chooses! So jealous of his new setup - he put together his own computer AND bought the parts himself. But it has speed... oh well.. there I go again... squirrel!! (as my dil says!!)

As I said, I'm in the Tucson office, hopefully leaving soon to head back to Phoenix. It is already 2:16 and it is about 1 1/2 hours drive.... and I usually get off at 3:30.... don't think that is going to happen today - but at least they will be paying me for it! I'll have to check with my boss soon and remind her that she has to drive back to the office so that I can get my vehicle - and then she has to back track to go home. I'll have to check when her last meeting is. It's been fun being here - and they bought us lunch!

My foot is doing better. Oh. Maybe I hadn't said anything. Went to Urgent Care last Thursday because it was swollen and hurting so badly I could hardly stand to wear shoes. After x-rays to ensure nothing had been broken, it was decided I have some type of tendonitis on the upper part of my foot. Still haven't figured that one out. So, I got a boot to wear for a few days. I went without it yesterday and today - it's starting to swell today a little so will get it back on when I get home. I did wear flats but that hasn't helped. I'm doing better overall. I think. I just can't get my walking in as I have had to elevate my foot. And ice it. But I haven't iced it for a few days.

It's all good. And once the tingling stops going up my leg I'll be fine.

The Bible says 'cast all your cares upon Him, for He cares for you." I believe that. I asked Him to heal my feet. I'm still waiting on the spurs to go away - but at least my foot is getting better where I can walk.

Hope things are going well for you. Problems? Ask Jesus to help you. He will, you know! Just remember, the answers may not always be what you want them to be. He sees the BIG picture and we only see what is in front of us.

Blessings!

Aches and Pains...He still cares....

Aches and Pains. I think the majority of us have them. Every so often I will get an ache (usually in my left shoulder!) or a pain somewhere. Right now I'm battling with foot pain.

A few months ago I finally went to the podiatrist about my foot pain. I thought I knew what the reason was. Afterall, I had googled it. And it had told me what I thought it was. And I had a pretty good idea of how I had injured it. That was the diagnosis of plantar fasciitis in both feet, AND two spurs in my left, one spur in my right foot. Hadn't expected the spurs. However, there was no "cure" other than buying expensive inserts and flip flops ($125!!) so that I could get relief. I refused to get the shots in the heel. The plantar fasciitis has pretty much cleared up, the spurs hurt pretty bad sometimes. But the pain in the foot I'm dealing with today is not the spurs.

It's on top of my right foot. Just by the toes. One time I had some problems and the doctor just pulled my toes and the pain went away. So I thought I would try that. I began to pull my toes the other day to get some relief from the pain on the top of my foot, thinking it was just in a cramp. Well, now. I guess I got over enthused about pulling my toes, for when I pulled one, it popped. You know, like when you pop your knuckles. It didn't hurt, but I felt the pop when I did that. So I got to thinking, ok, I have either straightened that toe after it had been broken at some time or just popped it.

The top of my foot has been swollen now for two days. I put ice on it yesterday and today, and am having to take ibuprophen because of the pain. Yep, it hurts. Constantly. I figure I will give it until Monday. If it still hurts on Monday, I will call the foot doctor and suck it up - and pay a big bill. Sometimes I just don't like my insurance. I love not having big premiums to pay, but with the low premium, I get stuck with everything except well check-ups. Up to a limit of course, and I think I have about $1000 to go by the end of the year. I just try NOT to go to the doctor. But for this - it is annoying enough and constant enough that it drains me. But I'm going to believe it will go away within another day or so. Surely all this ice will cause it to get better. I don't do 'cold'!!

I Peter 5:7 stays 'Cast all your cares on Him, for He cares for you'. I believe that. Yes, I have prayed for healing in my feet. I believe that God can heal me. I don't know if He will heal me the way I want Him to. One day I may just realize that my feet don't hurt anymore. But I believe it will happen. I want healing NOW. I just don't know if He will heal me NOW. It is in His time-table, not mine.

So I wait, and I keep trusting, and I keep asking. Kind of like the woman who constantly went to the judge to get relief and he grew weary of her constant banging on his door, finally giving her relief from those who were causing havoc in her life. If I keep asking, God will grow weary (NOT!) and give me what I ask for.

When was the last time you seriously prayed to God for deliverance? for healing? Did you pray once and give up? Was it a sincere prayer? Was it a 'oh God, please heal my pain' prayer? Not that it makes any different to Him HOW we pray.... but do you ask believing that you will receive an answer? I do. But again, it's in His time.

So for now, I ice my foot and take a pill. It's all good. I can still walk. Soon I won't even think about it. What are you praying for?

Blessings!

ReLiving...

As we were heading to church yesterday I saw a license plate that said "RELIVING".

I thought about that as we passed the vehicle, and wondered how this person chose those words for their license plate. It obviously was to hold great memories for them. It probably was a change in their life, or something happened to give them the feel of 'start-over'.

I wondered what the word "Reliving" could mean to me.

I have no desire to relive my life prior to 1967. Time prior to 1967 is painful, disturbing, and I choose to forgive and forget. Some people can not let go of the past and move on, but I choose to. Yes, occasionally something will rear its ugly head, but by the grace of God, I am able to tell it to move on out of my memory and allow me to continue living life. I don't want to live in the dead part of my life, but in the 'alive'path.

Why is it that some people refuse to give up the past and want to continue to live in it? It usually is a past filled with pain, with hurt, with turmoil. Why would one want to live in it? All I can think of is that they want to. I realize that sounds harsh, but if they can get sympathy or attention by wallering in the past, why not? I know people who live in the past. Oh, you wouldn't know it as a rule, but by their actions and words and behavior, you know they do. They give all kinds of excuses as to why.

I don't want to be that way. Paul says in I Thessalonians 5:16 to "Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus." That doesn't mean that what happened to you, or what you went through was God's will. But He allowed it. Why? Some of us will never know that answer.

But I believe what I went through, painful though it was, gave me a heart for others who have endured the same abuse. I am more sensitive to others who feel worthless and unloved. My heart cries for those who feel they are all alone and no one understands or cares. It doesn't have to necessarily be from abuse, but just situations of life that hurt and affect our heart and mind and emotions. We all go through things. I feel I have come a long way from the young naive little girl who didn't understand what was going on. But as I grew older, although no one told me, I knew it was wrong, and I fought for myself. It cost me some things I wanted to do, but I knew I was right to say STOP! and ENOUGH! And I had to do it on my own for no one else would protect me.

Am I thankful for what happened to me? No - and I wouldn't wish it on anyone else. But by the grace of God, I believe He allowed these things to give me a tender heart and understanding for those who have to endure such things. Life isn't easy for most people. Even though we think people are perfect and families are perfect - no one knows what goes on in the inside of the family. When it is your family, you think it is the norm for such things. You don't realize until you are with other families that no, it is NOT the norm.

So I chose several years ago to learn how to 'relive'. Yes, it has taken me awhile. My past pops up every so often and I am in a battle. I can't blame it on "that's how I was raised". I am above that. I do not have to let the abuse and things of the past control my life now - or my future. I know of too many people who like living in the past, being angry and bitter. Or they go to the extreme and become "religious" as if that overcomes the past. Forgiving means letting go.

And it means RELIVING - starting your life over. I choose to live in the present. I have three children who are different in every way. Unfortunately I didn't understand a lot of things when they were small. Hopefully I am much smarter now. Ok, at least a little. I can only pray now that their past does not define their future and that they will choose to live whole and complete lives. How they do it, is their choice.

Paul says in Philippians 3:13-15 -"Brothers and Sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."

2 Corinthians 5:17 says "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!"

Galatians 2:19-21: "For through the law I died to the law so that I might live for God. I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. I do not set aside the grace of God, for if righteousness could be gained through the law, Christ died for nothing!"

I choose to 're-live' my life with Jesus. He makes life much better!

Blessings!

Getting ready to start a busy week.

I can use one of those captions "I'm Back"! With being on vacation last week - it seems like I have been gone forever. I decided to jump on the computer tonight to see what is going on before I go back to work tomorrow morning. My boss had already text'd me on Friday that she had ordered breakfast for Monday morning as we have a bunch of new people moving into one of our departments and we have about 20 people moving around. Looks like I will need to be at work by 6AM so that I can figure out what is going on.

It was nice being off last week, but I am already wishing that I hadn't taken all week off. Five days at one time has really set me back - I had 200 emails waiting on me tonight - took me nearly an hour to just get through them - and that is putting some in secure print so that tomorrow when I go in I can just hit print and my code and they will all print out - but then I have meetings to make, calls to return, minutes to type - and whatever else has gone on.

I did get a shock when I read one email. I'm still stunned and couldn't keep from shedding tears. One of my friends - probably about 50-ish - I don't know what happened, but I read an email where she passed away. No one told me - I read the email and just sat here thinking, no, it couldn't be my friend - I just talked to her last week! But, alas, an email from her daughter confirmed her death - and that they donated her organs to three people. Which is pretty cool. I hope when I die that my organs will be acceptable to someone that they can have a better quality of life. Yes, I am an organ donor and carry the card, and have the sticker on my driver's license.

Tomorrow will be an extremely busy day, I'm sure. I'm debating on wearing jeans and tennis shoes, but I also have meetings so think I will go ahead and wear a dress or skirt/top. I hope I can get on top of things right away, but looking at all my emails, I have a lot already on the calendar for tomorrow. I may be working late.

The week's vacation was ok. I really feel we didn't do much. We did have a cookout at my daughter's on Sunday evening so that everyone could see my sister and her husband. Monday my sister and I got a pedicure and nail tips. Will see how long either of us leave them on - but in the meantime, my nails do look nice. I like the nails because my princess granddaughter can really decorate my nails when she has time - I love how she does some of the scenes. But, since she doesn't live here, it makes it more difficult to get done.

We went to Sedona, then Prescott on Tuesday, toured the town square in Prescott on Wednesday then headed back home. We did what we could, but my BIL couldn't do some things (like get in the spa because his immune system was low) - reckon we could have gone ahead, but felt guilty since we were there with them. Thursday and Friday it seems we did nothing. Sis and I did a couple Sam's club runs but didn't buy much. I definitely rested all week because I couldn't get her to get up early and go walking - and then Friday she tells me she would have gotten up. I quit asking after a couple days of no response. I definitely didn't get any exercise last week and I really feel it.

I had invited my middle child and boys over for a swim today because it was to be really hot - thought they could swim and I'd fix hamburgers for dinner - but they never responded back. So, hubby and I got in the pool by ourselves after the sun started to go down; fixed a shake for dinner and I jumped on the computer. It's been a very quiet day, other than we went to church this morning.

I guess I need to quit my rambling and get my things ready for tomorrow. I'm actually looking forward to getting back to work - I feel like I've been gone forever. God and I have had a lot of talks this week. It's been interesting, to say the least. I often wonder what He is trying to teach me. Probably to keep my mouth shut and don't suggest to anyone they need to do something. I get in so much trouble.

Today being the end of Father's day, I reckon I best put this computer away and spend some time with hubby before heading to bed. It's getting to that time. Hope you have a good week.

Blessings!

Breathe, Just Breathe

It's my last day before a week's vacation. Yes, that time off is finally here. And, I must say, I am looking forward to it. This week had been extremely busy and extremely crazy - and I have gotten nothing done that I wanted to. I had three sets of minutes I needed to do on Monday - and I still have three sets of minutes I need to get done. I simply must focus and get at least one of them done today.

Yesterday was very chaotic - we had a meeting with about 28 people - and I had lunch ordered - which came about 20 minutes late, and because the meeting had already started, they continued for another hour before they let the staff go get the food - baked ziti with sausage, garlic knots, buffalo chicken salad, cookies.... yum... - so I was busy trying to take care of that, make sure they had water and soda, enough chairs, etc. Then there was another big meeting and Mexican food was ordered for it - and it was crazy. I felt like I was running from one side of the building to another - in heels - and before I left the office yesterday I had already hit my 10,000 steps for the day - that's how busy it was for me.

But, here I am once again, at work, sitting here drinking my chocolate Shakeology shake for breakfast and trying to get a short post in before I must get on today's stuff. Had to get a check in the mail to a grandson of my best friend - hadn't gotten around to it yet. I miss my best friend. No one has ever taken her place, although I am very close to my boss (as a friend). But we aren't 'best friends'. In fact, in thinking about it, I don't think I have a best friend anymore. Besides not having the time to cultivate a deep friendship, I don't feel the freedom to have a close friend. Long story and not going into it.

My little sister and her husband arrive on Sunday morning and we will probably go out for breakfast once they arrive. Later in the afternoon we will head over to my daughter's house to have the first in a long time of family cookouts. I've really missed my family get-togethers. I feel we have all lost touch with each other and what's going on. The bond of family has been broken over the past couple of years and indifference and attitude had replaced love. It breaks my heart, but all I can do about it is pray.

We are having one of my favorites - next to hamburgers and hotdogs or chicken, of course - carne asada. I gave my daughter a check to help with some of the preparation as I know I could not pick up all that was needed and exactly what was needed. I don't mind doing that. I asked last night what she wanted me to bring - I hate to come empty handed - and my granddaughter piped up "your salsa"! So although we are having "white girl salsa", I guess that I will make up a couple quarts of my salsa for us to have. And I will grab an extra bag of chips cause I know we'll need them!

One of my sons is bringing - I think - cherry delight. That is, if he is up to making it. Hard pain in the back so he isn't getting around too well. Hopefully he can get into PT and get it helped. When one's back is out of sorts, the whole body feels out of sorts. I've had back pain before, but not like what he is having. Praying for his healing as well.

On the way in to work this morning I was thinking of all that I need to get done today, and the thought occurred to me to "Breathe, Just Breathe" - which is a song, by the way. I can only do and only accomplish what I set my hand to. Wishing it to get done won't happen. Praying for it to be completed won't happen unless I at first do my part and start it. Which is what I need to do right now.

Hopefully I can get my thoughts back together this next week and will find the joy in telling how God is working in my life. I have been broken and on a painful journey the past few years. But God hasn't given up on me, nor has He turned His back on me. I sit and wait, and rest, waiting on His timing to renew and refresh my spirit. Come, Holy Spirit, I need Thee.

Blessings!

I am so ready for time off.....

Work has been so busy lately with the merger of another company with ours. At first it didn't make any difference, but now that the actual merging of the two companies is imminent, it is getting crazy. And I'm getting annoyed. Don't want to get this person on my "bad" side - but she reports to MY boss.... and is only a Director.... and it feels like she is very aggressive and 'taking over' some things. And this is a silly feeling I'm having. Merging of some areas is normal - but .. well... ok -

Our director asked this other director had she thought any more about having a 'meet and greet' for the two departments. Now mind you, about 10 of the people from this company - and this person's department - will be moving directly into our offices to work with our people. Others will stay at the other company about 3 miles away for now. So I get copied on this email yesterday from this director (she had sent it to her AA) that for the AA to work with me - and we will have a breakfast HERE in our building NEXT WEEK.

I don't have time to coordinate anything in our building right now!! However, as I was on a project yesterday, the AA is calling me in about 20 minutes to discuss this. I did talk to our director about it - and she wasn't aware it was being set up so quickly. (wouldn't you think one director would talk to the other?) I DID tell our director that this other director had better watch out - I am territorial and I will not let her walk over 'my' people here! This person is very aggressive so it will prove interesting.

My boss is not in town this week so I can't go in and spout off to her. I just feel it needs more thought than just 'do this' attitude. I'm annoyed. I'm busy, and I'm sure the other AA is as well. Now if they wanted to do it there - I don't care - but if it's here, then I have to be involved and I have a lot of things to get done. PLUS it would need to start about 6:30am-ish and then there is overtime for the hourly people to come in (and some may not if they have small children they have to get off to school). There is a lot of things to take into consideration.

Well, I did IM my boss and she just responded, "let's do it." Boo. I thought she would be on my side.... but then, I didn't give her all the details, I just asked the question. Maybe I am too territorial and don't want this director involved in MY area.... I guess we started off on the wrong foot..... The first day I met her she was 'name-dropping' that she was 'friends' with the President of our Corporation in St. Louis and how he had hired her (now mind you, over 20 years ago and she only worked for the company 3 years before going elsewhere and eventually coming back to the Corporation about six-eight years ago). He probably doesn't even remember who she is, but she made sure I knew she had been hired by him and knew him personally. Name droppers. sigh. It's actually become a joke for she not only told me, I found out she also told our company President, my boss, our chief medical officer - and who knows who else.

She isn't happy that she has to report to MY boss who is a VP.... in the beginning she was put under the company President but now that we are lining things up - he can't wait to get rid of her. This should prove interesting cause I will have to have contact with her. I just feel she is going to try to push OUR director (of the same department) out and take it all over. I'm already annoyed just thinking about it.

Ok - I guess I've grumbled long enough. It's time for the AA to call me.

But on a good note - I was singing to the Lord on my way to work this morning the song "open up the heavens, I want to see You, open up the flood gates, a mighty river" and I kid you not - the cloudy sky opened up a hole and sun shined through it for about five minutes.

God is good.

Blessings!

What God is showing me....

seems to be a lot of waiting. It seems the more I ask, the more I seek His face, the more He has me wait.

This is the toughest part of all. I then begin to question the things I ask of Him.

Does He want me to do this? Or does He want me to do that? Should I get this? Should I not get this? Should I remain silent and just keep doing what I do? Or should I speak up and give suggestions as to what I think I should do? What should I do? So many questions, and right now I don't seem to be getting many answers.

So I wait.

And during this time of waiting, God is gently drawing me to Him. As I sit and be silent, He knows He has my attention. He doesn't speak, He doesn't move, but I know He is there. And it is comforting, and loving, and peaceful. I know that no matter what is going on, no matter what I feel, no matter what I am going through, no matter how many questions I ask, or what kind of questions I ask, I know beyond all doubt that He hears me.

He doesn't answer the way I want Him to. He doesn't respond to my pleading. At least, not in ways that I hear or see. But I know He is showing me love and great patience. He knows what is best for me, and for those I pray for. He knows when it is time to accomplish what He wants them to, and when I should remain silent.

How can I speak my opinions when He hasn't shown me they are right? I know, I seem to voice my opinions frequently, but that doesn't mean they come from Him. Some opinions come from my frustrations, from my hurt, from my anguish, or from me.

Through it all, God shows me He has good things planned for me, and for those I pray for. He is totally in charge and loves each of us individually. He cares for us and wants only the best for us.

I need to continue to just wait. And Listen. He is teaching me of Himself.

Blessings!

Saying prayers....

Every morning I say my prayers. Well, not always verbally, but sometimes in my mind, sometimes writing them out in my journal, sometimes in silence I just yield to what and how the Spirit leads me.

Many times my prayers are for healing of others, or even myself. Sometimes it is just to help me through another day. Or to bring blessings of financial rescue for someone in need. Or for a job for someone. Sometimes my prayers are just prayers of praise and blessings to God.

And it all depends on what is going on. Sometimes it is all of these - blended together in prayers that plead the blood of Jesus over those I care for, that they will feel the Presence of God and know that they are in His hands.

Have you ever driven down the road and felt you were not alone, yet you were? Could it be that someone has prayed for you, that Jesus would be with you as you go to work, go to the store, or wherever you are going?

What if you paused in your thinking at that moment, and talked with Him? What if you shared what was on your mind, on your heart?

What if you just told Him that you need some guidance, some wisdom, cause you just don't know what to do?

What if you just told Him that you know you have strayed from Him, and would like to find your way back?

He won't accuse you, He won't make you feel bad. He doesn't beat you up and tell you how terrible you are, how much you have sinned and how disappointed He is in you.... no, Jesus doesn't do that.

What He does do, is open His arms wide and wrap them around you, your heart, your mind, and whispers in your ear how much you are loved.

No matter what you have done, no matter how bad it is, how difficult life has become, Jesus is right there with you. He is walking with you in this journey of life.

And He is interceding for you to our Heavenly Father. Why? Because He loves you.

Take some time to talk with Him today. Ponder your life and where you see it going - and where it could go with Jesus in it. Trust Him. He's on your side. He's got your back.

Blessings!

What life is all about....

In my humble opinion, Life is about loving, living and delighting in God's miracles. His miracles can be of anything! The miracle can be the flower that is starting to open up and bloom - or one that is in full bloom.

His miracles can be the little seed that begins to burst forth out of the ground. Or they can be the beginning of a wait for a new child, watching it's growth within the womb. And the a greater miracle still, the birth of this child.

Have you ever watched a birth of an animal, or a child? It is amazing. Messy sometimes, yes; but amazing. To know that within the body of that person this 'thing', this 'person' was created. From the tiny body, even smaller fingers and toes, and usually a big head! - we ooh and ahh over such a birth. We are filled with great joy at this new miracle of life.

But what happens when this little body starts to grow? I've watched my daughter-in-law in amazement many times at the gentleness she has around people, especially children. She has taught me so much about being a good mother. I wish I had her as a model when I was growing up.

As I have shared many times, my childhood wasn't the best. A lot I have blocked out so that I don't remember. But what I do remember, wasn't love and patience or even gentleness. Unfortunately, because that is what I had been taught, that is what I sometimes passed on to my own children. With much regret I recall my lack of gentleness and patience. But I have always loved them. Loved them with a love that they will never understand until they reach the years I am at now.

I regret much of how my children were raised. I regret I was not a better example, a better mentor. I'm trying to do much better as a grandma, and I think I succeed at that. I find I have much more patience with the grandchildren, I'm even more loving, and if I need to swat a butt, I can do that too. Not that any of my grandchildren have ever needed that!

I was able to spend time with a couple granddaughters Saturday at a ladies tea. It was fun being with them, albeit the speaker went too long in my opinion. But it was fun and everyone said they wanted to come when they have it again. I'm thinking more of getting my granddaughters together and let's plan our OWN tea party at my house. Give them an opportunity to plan it and be involved in preparation. And, they can invite someone to join them if they want. It would be fun. And I think I will plan it with them.

Things like this are what I enjoy - what I call 'living life' - or at least part of it. There are many aspects of living life, of course. But for this day, I'm thinking of the tea and having fun with granddaughters.

Yesterday I was able to spend time with a grandson and have a talk with him. That was good too. I don't know what type of influence I had on him, but at least he knows I love him and wanted to spend some time with him.

Just like I like spending time with others - I want to pass this trait on. Never let go of caring for others enough that you would take time out of your busy schedule and spend time with them. One day you will wish you had.

Love them, share life with them, and delight in them. Let them share what they feel, let them know you care. Live life with them.

Blessings!

It was a fun weekend.....

I had a great weekend. At least, for me, it was great. We had lunch Saturday with a granddaughter and her fiancé and I passed on to her a fitbit that I had purchased from someone who didn't need it anymore. She wasn't too sure about it, but I encouraged her to use it just to see how many steps she took between school and work.

OH MY. Sunday I "challenged" my granddaughter and daughter via our Fitbits - and my granddaughter walked all over us - literally!! Well, the little stinker walked a lot and beat us both soundly. I didn't challenge her yesterday but she sends me a text last night. Now mind you, my goal is 10,000 steps a day. Some days that is difficult to reach and other days, very very difficult to reach. I only had about 6400 when I got home yesterday so I got on the treadmill. As I'm walking, I get this text from my granddaughter that says, "I need to set my goal at 16,000 for it to be a challenge for me."

SAY WHAT?? 16,000??!! Well, she reminded me, she does walk all over campus at school - and when she gets to work, she is working with one and two year old children who keep her running after them. She had over 14,000 before she even left work! So yes, I did encourage her to increase her steps to 16,000. But that probably also means that I will never be able to beat her unless she just doesn't go to work or doesn't have school. And that's ok.

I reminded her that even though I may give her a hard time about the walking and beating me all the time, to please remember it is only to be for FUN and for tracking how many steps we walk. I like challenges and therefore challenged her for today even though I am pretty confident she will badly beat me again - but it makes me push to get at least my goal. I had gotten really bad the past few weeks and only doing 6-7,000 because I had no one challenging me to do better. AND, the plus side, when I walk more, I will begin to lose this weight that I have added onto my body by not walking as much. I was doing real well there for awhile - then I quit. My bad!!

Sunday it rained most of the day - so what did I do? I baked a roast with potatoes for lunch and then baked cookies in the afternoon. Brought the cookies into work yesterday except for a few I left for hubby and his men's group. It was fun and I would have continued baking but I ran out of butter. That tells me I need to buy extra and keep in the freezer for times like this. Of course out here in Arizona it doesn't rain as much as some places. And listening to the news, Texas is getting hit bad again with rain and hail.

Work is keeping me busy - we are doing a lot of hiring and guess who gets to set up the interviews for my department. Yep - it be me. I have 4-5 I need to set up today already and more apps are coming in. I've already gotten several set up. At least I'm not on the interview itself - just setting them up.

And today is another busy day and I need to get at it. This rain has been good for my roses - they are blooming all over the front of the house and look so gorgeous.

Have a great day!

Blessings!

April flowers bring....

beautiful yards, for sure. My roses are in full bloom and look - and smell - so beautiful. I want to pick up a few more rose bushes and place strategically with the others, but I noticed the other night that my 5-6 rose bushes on the right front side of the house has gone from individual bushes to intertwining and it looks so full. I love it. They grow so quickly that we have to have them cut back 3-4 times a year. They are already taller than me - which isn't saying much I guess...

The last two weekends have been my dream come true, pretty much. I've often wanted to have the children over for meals, but just haven't done it.... and it probably won't happen often, but Easter was a good weekend to get started. I love the cooking and baking and just having the grandchildren around. Oh - and the kids too. My middle child and family came over the Saturday before Easter, my oldest and family came over on Easter Sunday - and the youngest and his family came over this past Sunday. Same meal - ham, mashed potatoes, corn, green bean casserole, etc. but seemed to be enjoyed by all. I think I am sick of ham, mashed potatoes, corn, green bean casserole, etc. LOL But it was good at the time.

I have several packages of chicken in the refrigerator that I plan on grilling tonight so that I can bring a piece to work with me daily and hubby can have some too. We can always find something else to eat for dinner. Or slice the chicken and make chicken tacos. Or something....

I feel so loved - all three of my children have managed to have some time with me this first quarter. My middle child was first - with lunch at a good salad place. I couldn't believe over two hours had passed before I stopped to look at my watch! It was so good to catch up with him and what he and his family have been doing.

My oldest and her daughter and I ran away for a couple days a few weeks later to what we have labeled "Jailbreak Getaway". I love it! Neither my daughter nor I came up with the name - but my granddaughter did! We cracked up laughing about it - but plan to use it for future getaways. Hopefully we can do this at least once a year. It was good to get away and just chill out and talk. Something that we don't normally have time to do.

My youngest just made it under the first quarter to have 1:1 time with me. In fact, if he hadn't been sent back home, he wouldn't have made it. But, being home, he took me out for dinner last week (and I enjoyed delicious chicken buffalitos (or something like that)- oh my these were so good!! Actually they are chicken tacos and I would love to have them again! It was fun to spend a couple hours with him as well and just catch up.

That's all I asked for. That's all I want. Just time to find out what THEY are doing, what's going on in their families. Not that I'm nosey, but they ARE my children and I just like to keep in touch. Most months go buy and I may talk to them once - and may even get to see them once - but that's about it. So, once a quarter should be good. Except the youngest is going to have to work hard cause he is leaving on Friday and then will be gone for several months.

But will be back next year when the flowers once again start blooming. It's hard to believe it is April already....

I am so grateful for Spring... and it's warmth.... some are already complaining about the heat... but not me. I'm grateful.

What are you grateful for?

Blessings!

It was by His Hand....

Sometimes we wonder if God is in our situations. We wonder if He even thinks of us at all. We wonder if He listens when we call out to Him, we wonder if He even cares.

I feel He does all of the above. And, I can cite a recent example, although there are many others where I have seen His hand in action.

Earlier this month we took our son to the airport to fly to another city for training, and then eventually be sent overseas on an Army 'mission'. Although I knew he wasn't going to be where there was a lot of danger, I still didn't want him to be so far away from us, but I prayed and put him in God's hands.

Just before his being 'deployed', this son had received back-pay check on a disability he has acquired. He was able to pay off some bills and have some as a cushion for while he was gone. He left that Sunday morning, and God began to pull the reasons for everything together. By the middle of the next week, my son was sent home because of sleep apnea, and had 30 days to get re-tested. He retested a couple nights later. I understand that 2 years ago when he had the testing, it came out as severe apnea, at 52. This time the score came out as 15.4, with 15 being the line drawn for severe apnea. He immediately set plans in motion to get a device fitted in his mouth that would prevent his snoring and help with the apnea.

The children's uncle, their dad's brother had a heart attack, a stroke, and an aneurysm (if I heard correctly) and for the next week or so it was touch and go - then he passed away. This youngest child of mine not only had the time available, he had the money to go back to Indiana to be there for the funeral. He and his wife packed their bags, made arrangements for the grandchildren, and took their time heading to Indiana, arriving a day before the viewing.

During their visit to Indiana, I believe they were able to see every one of their dad's family, as well as my family. He saw his grandparents, who I have heard are in pretty bad health with dementia and grandma is nearly blind as well. Both seemed to know my son when he first saw him and told them who he was, but after that, neither of them recognized nor knew who he was. I think that hurt a lot, besides seeing how "old" and disabled they had gotten, both in wheelchairs. It was a tough visit, and he was asked to be a pall bearer.

And this is where I see God showing His hand. My son was sent back home from the base. He had the money, and the time. He had a sleep study but didn't pass. He was fitted for a device. He made the trip over a ten day period. He got back home on Sunday. He picked up the device on Tuesday. Had another sleep study completed on Tuesday night - and passed with a "1". He goes today to complete paperwork and send off the paperwork from the sleep study. Looks like he will be leaving again around April 8th.

God provided the money, provided the free time, provided a reliable vehicle, gave them travel mercies there. This son was able to stand in the gap for his father, and his siblings, and represent them at their uncle's funeral. He was able to take his time and drive back safely. Within two days of arriving back he has his device, passes the sleep study, and now completes what he needs to in order to leave. I truly believe that God provided all this.

Sometimes we take God for granted on the things that fall into place - or do not fall into place. But His hand is truly upon each and every one of us. When things are tough, look to see where He is working. When things are good, look to see His blessings.

and in all things, whether good or bad, give praise to God our Father, for it is He who is working in and through you to bring about all things. He is always working for your good.

Blessings!

It's Monday again!

Monday seems to roll around quite quickly anymore. The weekend barely gets here and poof! The weekend is gone and Monday is here. But this was a good past weekend. I had lunch with my oldest son on Saturday and it was a very nice time. The time flew by and before we knew it, 2 1/2 hours had flown by. I treasure those moments when I have him to myself.

And then, I got to pick up a grandson for a few hours. I had not gotten his $ to him for his birthday so asked if he wanted to go for 'cold stone' and shopping - or 'cold stone' and get his $. He opted out for 'cold stone' and shopping. It WAS to his benefit! I enjoyed having the grandson with me and he helped remind me I needed to stop at the drug store as well. He makes me laugh. It was a very good day.

Sunday it was a service at one of the RV parks we speak at. Pressure is on. I speak there on Easter Sunday and the person who schedules us told me yesterday that she wanted a 'dynamic' message on Easter Sunday. Seriously? Pressure! I speak next week at Pioneer Village and then am done there until November. Easter will be our last scheduled service this season at Desert Shadows. After the service yesterday we both were totally lazy. I finished reading a book I had a few chapters left in. We took a nap. It was a very, very lazy day.

Then this morning I get up for work - and beat myself up for not doing anything over the weekend. That's the way it usually is though. I need to apply myself to the things I want done during the week - which I don't do much of either. Tonight we are having dinner with a former co-worker and her husband. She and I try to have lunch, but with my office moving about 3 miles further away, it makes it a bit more difficult to meet, talk, and eat within an hour's time, so we opt for dinner with the spouses. We just can't talk like we normally would.

And now it's time to get busy here at work. I have a new form to create, minutes to type, and other things to get completed. My boss is out of town Wednesday - Friday this week so I won't be near as busy as I am when she is here - but I still always have work to do. But I really need to get a lot done as I am taking next Monday and Tuesday off work - and then we are off Good Friday! It will be so nice to have time off. If I didn't have a meeting on Thursday next week, I might have taken the entire week off. Oh well. Save my days off for another day.

The message yesterday at "church" was standing on the promises of God. And I do. Psalm 91:4 "He will cover you with his feathers, he will shelter you with his wings. His faithful promises are your armor and protection." And they are. There are many times I ask God to cover and shelter not only us, but also our children and grandchildren. When I put them under His protection, under His wings, nothing will happen to them that has not first been filtered through His wings. Stand firm on His promises - they will get you through each day.

Blessings!