The last holiday of the year is over.

 We had our last group of family over yesterday to celebrate Christmas.  After they had opened their gifts we had 'lunner' and then soon left.  My son said one of the little ones was starting to get on hubby's nerves... although he hadn't said anything.  I get it; I've always been supersensitive about disturbing other people.  And, this little one could not sit still nor keep quiet.  Even I could not keep up with her!  LOL All in all, I think everyone enjoyed the 'gathering' and was happy/ok with what they received.  I feel I messed up on a couple as I thought I had purchased other things for them, but it looks like I did in thought only. I felt bad, but at least they got a gift, right?  

I was going to take some leftovers to Ms. Diane, but she said she was sick and didn't want it.  I checked with Ms. Vicky - and mind you, it was about 4:20PM - and she said no, she had already eaten.  I have the food in containers so guess I will stick in the freezer for when hubby and I need something and I don't want to cook. (Ok, I know that happens way too often, but I am going to try to do better this year and cook more often.)  I guess everything else went well with the food; didn't hear any complaints, anyway.

I don't have training this morning as Morgan moved me to 7AM on Thursday.  So I have tomorrow @ 8AM and Thursday at 7AM this week.  I thought hubby was to go yesterday, but he is scheduled today and Thursday.  His trainings may lessen somewhat as he got disturbing news from the doctor yesterday.

An aneurysm that is in his abdomen has grown enough that the doctor says it needs to have surgery fairly soon.  He said hubby could wait 3 months and have it looked at again - but there is a (scare tactic?) chance it could burst if he puts it off.  Hubby is terrified and depressed at the thought of surgery again.  His fear is that at his age, he says, people go in to the hospital for one thing, and don't come out alive. That's probably true in most cases. But he's healthy so he should be ok, right?  All I can do is pray.  The doctor will probably get something set up this month.  He asked if hubby hiked and being told 'no', the doctor said that was good, for if he did, he would schedule the surgery immediately as any stress could cause it to burst.  He can still work out, but cannot do anything that will cause stress in that area (I'm guessing).  

It's hard to believe today is the last day of 2024.  I look back over the year and as I have commented frequently, again acknowledge how quickly it passed by.  I'm hoping I will be more focused in 2025 and get my life straightened out.  I have many goals in mind, but haven't settled on any to 'declare'.  

Other than my book reading.  I have managed to add two more finished books to my total for the year - bringing it up to 48 out of 50 books - and no, I am not going to read two more books today to meet my goal.  I am going to reset the goal at 50 books (or should I go 55 to really give myself a challenge?) and shoot for it again.  Once I'm working again (starting Thursday), it will be hard to get a lot of reading in. I started the last book yesterday morning after I got things ready for the 'gathering', and finished it after they left.  When a book holds my interest, it is really easy to keep reading.  I have a book already lined up to read starting tomorrow.  We've moved lunch to dinner so I will have most of the day to read once I get the ribs in the oven. Which reminds me, I still need to go pick up more ribs and coleslaw today.  I should do that early this morning, before they are all gone, right?

Isaiah 43:16, 18-19 (NIV):  This is what the Lord says, "Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?  I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland."

Forget the former things of 2024.  Don't think about the things you did (and shouldn't have) or didn't do (and should have).  Forget all that is past, you cannot change a thing.  But what you can do is look to the future and what God is going to do in your life and in the lives of those you love.  Look for new things. Look for good things.  Look ahead with a positive attitude and disposition.  Don't let the past ruin your future.  It is yours to bring good.

Letting go of the past is sometimes hard, I get that.  Especially if it is bad stuff.  Why is it that we hang on to the 'bad' stuff and not the 'good' stuff?  I do that, and I'm sure you do.  I beat myself up over and over again because of something I said - or didn't say and should have.  And why do I do that? Because the devil (although I hate to give him any credit!) likes to keep things stirred up.  He likes for us to put ourselves down and call ourselves names.  QUIT IT!  Tell the devil to go back where he belongs!  

You were made in the image of God.  You were created to bring God glory.  Let's give Him the glory, for only He is worthy of it!  Let's agree not to dwell on the past things that bring up hurt and anger within us - but dwell on the good things that bring us joy.  Agree?

I didn't sleep well last night and am not sure why.  Had a really stupid dream, in my opinion.  I've written it down in my journal to ponder on another time.  It really was weird.  Want to hear it (and agree it is weird?)?  I was donating blood and it was nighttime. Now mind you, I don't donate blood at night; it isn't open.  Anyway, as I was getting ready to leave, I wanted to talk with someone but they were busy and I felt like I had been 'dissed', so I left, instead of waiting.  As I left, there was a long dark hall I had to walk through (valley of the shadow of death?) and there was a thin man leaning up against the wall that I could see his outline.  I hurried out into the dark parking lot and tried to remember where I had parked my car.  The man was following me, and it looked like he had an axe in his hand. I walked quickly and decided to 'run' to a friend's house nearby.  But the houses look alike; I don't know which one is hers (I haven't seen her since 1967 so probably wouldn't even recognize her!).  I am pounding on the door, screaming her name.  I see the man approaching.... only he doesn't have an axe in his hand, but several tree branches.  He walks on past me.  And I wake up.  Yeah - weird, huh?  Maybe I ate too much chocolate before heading to bed? 

Need to get off here and get dressed and out to the store.  I have several things I need to get done today (in my mind, anyway), so need to get on it.  Hope that you have a blessed day!

Blessings!

Making garbage for lunch

 People always look at me weird when I mention making garbage.  But - that's what the kids dubbed it when I first made it years ago.  It's just a hamburger casserole (which is what it was called in the newspaper when I found it) - with macaroni and sauces, hamburger, onions, green peppers... and I don't remember what all - but it is so good.  It started as a joke, calling it garbage, but it stuck.  A friend who really enjoys the dish has told me many times that I need to change the name - but I don't know what else to call it - it's been garbage for nearly 30 years or more!  

Anyway - that's what I will be putting together this morning to have later this afternoon, after the final Christmas gifts are opened.  Yes, today is the day that we empty out all the gifts from under the Christmas tree.  Hubby and I have 'opened' our gifts so it will be all about the youngest son and his family opening theirs - and that's ok.  I hope they will like everything.  I did put a couple things back for the great-granddaughter as she does have a birthday next month - and I did buy too many things. I don't usually buy a lot of toys but do try to get a couple things they can enjoy. 

It's Monday morning and I'm off again today.  I kind of really like taking all these extra days off work.  I have had a couple days where I would think 'is this what it would be like if I wasn't working?' and I really did kind of like not having the stress of work... but knew that I would go crazy .... hubby and I would probably not agree on a lot of things.... he would start (I feel) pushing me into doing things he wants to do and we'd disagree because if it isn't MY idea, it usually isn't something I care to do. Does that make sense? LOL  Surprisingly, although we had talked about going to the gym last Thursday, he has never mentioned it at all - nor has he gone.  And I haven't either.  He does have a training appointment this morning, and I start back on training tomorrow morning.  I'm back to work on Thursday, but want to take off a few hours in the morning; got to send my boss an email and let her know.  A friend's husband passed away just before Christmas and the funeral is Thursday morning.  I could just take the day off - and just work Friday - or take Thursday and Friday off still... now that's a thought, and I can do it, I do have the time..... but for what?  Taking the decorations and trees down? 

The RV church service went well, and then we headed over the SA with our friends and had lunch with one couple afterwards.  Once we came home, I talked to my little sister for a bit, then took a short nap.  I finished another book!!  Whoo hoo!  I'm up to 47 out of 50 - and two days to go.  No - I'm not going to push it cause when I read, I want to enjoy what I'm reading, not skim the book.  I can start fresh counting in another day or so.  I didn't tell hubby about Goodreads, I feel it may be too complicated for him, but suggested that he start tracking the books he reads, i.e., write down in one of his journals what book he starts and when, and then when he finishes it.  Maybe that will get him reading more and watching his movies less.  And the same for me - although I can use Goodreads - if the TV is off, I can read more.  But that also means I can't crochet or knit - but then, I can listen to audible, right?  And it still counts.  I have a few books I've started on audible, but one needs to sit for a few hours to get through them so it's hit and miss - and then sometimes I don't remember what the book is about.  That's what happens when one doesn't read a lot of novels, but books for Christian living - one is stories that draw you in; others help you understand how to live a Christian life.  Lord knows I need all the help I can get!

I'm back at the RV church again next Sunday so this week I will be busy putting together another message to get.  I've got a title and a scripture, now to pull it together.  I will have more time to focus on it tomorrow.  Need to get to the store and pick up ribs for Wednesday - lunch at the daughter's and I get to fix ribs.  And of course we need black-eyed peas and coleslaw (with a coin).  Just trying to pass on family traditions.... some will be lost once I pass, but for now, maybe they will remember them. Mama always called it a 'poor man's lunch'.  Pork, black-eyed peas and cabbage.  Mama usually fixed boiled porkchops and cabbage (together) with the black-eyed peas.  I do like cooked cabbage, but oh the gas you can get from eating them!   Once on my own I changed it to ham and coleslaw with the black-eyed peas.  Then one year I changed it to BBQ pork ribs with the coleslaw and black-eyed peas.  What's the deal with the cabbage/coleslaw and black-eyed peas?  Well, you know the pork was used because it was at one time the cheapest (other than lamb) meat to get ahold of.  Cabbage was something you could pull out of the garden.  The coleslaw - and putting a coin in it - not sure where it came from, but mama had the tradition of putting a silver coin in it - and whoever got the coin with their coleslaw (could not dig around for it) would get to keep it to bring them good luck in the coming year.  The black-eyed peas - I'm not sure what that symbolized, but mama always said you had to eat at least a tablespoon of it to have good luck in the coming year.  So I have tried to have it every year - and this year is no different, although at the daughter's house.  I'll bring the BBQ pork ribs, the coleslaw, and the black-eyed peas. Which reminds me, I need to get cabbage to make the coleslaw! Where's that grocery list??!

We still have leftovers from Saturday, and I will keep some of the garbage from today (I always make more than enough) so depending on how much is left over that I don't send home with the son, I may take some over to Ms. Vicky and Ms. Diane - both love it.  I haven't made it for awhile.  I've got to quit being so lazy.  I've been craving my eggs ole' and need to make up a batch of that as well.  

But then, January 5th is Sunday and we start our annual 21 day fast, which will be over January 26th.  We haven't come to a firm decision yet on what we will give up.  I'm still leaning towards the BBCD - beef, bread, chocolate and desserts.  It really IS hard to do - I am addicted to bread and chocolate, and not only did I get a lot of chocolate for Christmas, I bought a lot of chocolate to set out for everyone.  I will have to hide it so that I'm not tempted.  We may do just fruit and veggies for 10 days, and then switch to BBCD but will see.  Hubby wants 'us' to do it together.  I can't get him to understand that it is a personal thing; he doesn't have to do everything I choose to do... he can make his own decisions.  Sigh.   In the meantime, I'm eating chocolate.  Lots of it.  I may never want to eat it for months by the time I'm done. HAH!

But we did receive Omaha Steaks for Christmas from the brother-in-law and hubby is craving his steaks! I will have to cook some at least once before Sunday, if he gives up beef.  He is always so reluctant to do that! Me - not so much a big steak eater.  I do like steak, just not as much as hubby does.

John 16:33 (NIV):  "I have told you these things, so that in me you will have peace.  In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."

Aren't you glad to know that Jesus came to earth to show us the way to live, and He overcame the world by resisting the things of the world.  He provided the way to our Heavenly Father, because we must go through Jesus to get to Him.  Priests are of the past - each one of us can go directly to Jesus and ask Him to intercede for us to our Father.  We have only One Father - and that is God.  So glad I can run to Jesus with anything and know that He will intercede for me.  

Think about this - when you are a follower of Jesus Christ - when you pass and are standing before the throne, the devil will be there telling God all the bad things you have done and that you need to be sent to hell for it.... but Jesus intervenes and tells our Father that we have confessed those things and they are no more, remembered no more, and that we belong to Him.  Jesus over rules the devil - after all, He did overcome death.  The devil has no control over you when you belong to Jesus - any thoughts contrary to doing good and right is from the devil - and you CAN tell him where to go!

Need to get my butt moving this morning and get dressed and try to get some things done before this afternoon.  It's quiet right now but hubby will be leaving soon for his training. He hasn't been in to get his clothes; maybe I need to remind him he has an 8AM appointment this morning - or is it 9AM.  Oh well.  I'm sure he remembers.  But I do need to get up, get dressed, and get busy.  Figure out what I'm doing.  Hope that you have a great start to your week!

Blessings!

Two down, One to go!

 We had such an enjoyable day yesterday with the oldest son and his family.  We missed getting to see one grandson who wasn't feeling well, but we did see him at Thanksgiving.  Another grandson was so tired after working 16 hours - and he mentioned to me separately that he actually hadn't slept in nearly 24 hours, I think he said.  He was exhausted, but I am so glad he came.  I think it all went well - even with lunchmeat sandwiches!  I got to spend extra time with our great-granddaughter as 'Memaw' and 'Oma' sat with her at another table while we had lunch together.  Seeing our granddaughter was exciting too - and knowing that next month we will have another great-granddaughter!  I love how she loves on me and shows me loves.  She is amazing.

I had a great Christmas - again - and I think hubby did as well.  My son and DIL surprised me with a very large bag - and I'm thinking it is only one gift and held  off to the end to unwrap it.  Was I ever surprised when I pulled the tissue paper back and found several packages wrapped INSIDE the big bag!  It was so fun unwrapping each one - and knowing I can put each one to use!  My granddaughter and her family gave me little diamond art projects that I can do when I just have a little time available.  I love it!  And gorgeous stationary!  I do need to write more letters.  The first one, when I get new stationary from her, is to write her the first note.  Hmmm, one letter a year (sometimes) from me, maybe that is why I get new stationary?  

I was able to give to one of the grandsons some of the 'overflow' of Christmas gifts I had purchased.  He needed a new hoodie and I had several!  Was able to pass on a hoodie, a flannel shirt, plus a couple t-shirts for him for work.  Had a nice sweater too that he thought might fit.  Maybe that is why I overbought?  So that I could help supply a need? Grateful to God I did.  Yes, he could buy them on his own, but I had them, so he didn't need to.  Thankful, and grateful I could.  

We have one more Christmas to go and that is Monday around 2PM.  We already got our gifts from this son and I don't know why - but as he had already brought his gifts over, hubby opened them Christmas morning, along with ours.   I think they had just gotten put under the wrong tree and hubby wasn't thinking.  I had already gotten my red slippers.  As hubby opened two gifts from this son, and I had no more, I am thinking one was mine - but it's not a big deal. I looked for the paper to see, but he had already wadded it up.  One was a book - a devotional, I think, and I forget what the other thing was.  I have my slippers, so I'm good.  Oh yeah, hubby got the t-shirt.  So I'm thinking the devotional should have been mine - but that's ok.

I'm speaking today at the RV park and the first thing I did was go through the message this morning and made some changes.  One paragraph just didn't seem to fit so I marked it out. I think I have it down enough now.  We will also do communion this Sunday so I need to remember to take my Bible with me so that I can read the passage.  I picked up a book to read, as I had a little more time in here - and I remembered I hadn't written in here yet.  Wow. Usually I am thinking right away about what I could write about - and this morning I nearly forgot to even write!  Ot type, rather.  Maybe that's a sign that it is time to wind this down.  But then, what would my son read every morning as he wakes up? LOL

We will probably go on over the SA church with our friends after church at the RV park - depending on time.  Then lunch, possibly.  I'm sure this afternoon will be naptime (hubby has already told me as he brought my coffee in that he didn't sleep well, that he was awake since 2AM).  I finished a crochet project last night so now want to get back on the baby quilts I'm making for two great-granddaughters coming in 2025.  The crochet project was for me.  A great-granddaughter gave me to colorful skeins of yarn for Christmas - I had to make something of them and send a photo so that she could see I used them. It is big enough to be a cover for my legs when I'm on the couch; it seems I'm always cool or cold - depending on how high hubby has the fan on. 

Speaking of hubby, he was acting strange at times yesterday.  I had two crockpots going (one with soup, one with cherry cobbler) and the ceiling fan was on in the exercise room - and for some odd reason, he commented he was afraid I'd blow a circuit.  We have often had both fans going, the oven, stove and a crockpot or two without any problems - but yesterday, he voiced he hoped I didn't blow a circuit with just the two crockpots and a fan.  Sigh.  

John 3:16 - For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

That is one of the scriptures I am referring to this morning in the message.  The message is about love. We just celebrated Christmas and it is the love of a Heavenly Father who sent His one and only Son to earth to be born of a virgin, and live a life that ended with His body crucified on a wooden cross.... so that we could live.  And why did God do that?  We can come up with many reasons - to reconcile us back to Him; to turn our lives around and know that He alone is God; to... well, you can fill in the blanks.  But I tell you, God did it all because of LOVE.  

God loves you so very much that He allowed His one and only Son to be your  (and my) sacrifice for our sins.  Our sins are many, whether we acknowledge them or not.   We all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.  Jesus is our sacrifice for all time.  We don't have to butcher cattle or sheep.  All we need to do is confess our sins and He will forgive us.  Is there something you need to confess this morning? 

Sometimes you just need to sit down and get honest with God.  He will reveal what you need to confess to Him.  Why not take a moment this morning and just sit in His Presence and wait upon Him. Listen for His still voice.  Talk with Him. He's waiting, and listening for you.

Blessings!

.

Celebrating Christmas - Again!

 Yes, we are doing it 'again' and I am excited that my oldest son and his family will all be here today to open their gifts and have a meal together.  It's the little things that bring my heart joy.  I don't get to see most of his family often, so this is a real treat for me.  Especially getting to see the daughter and her little growing family!  I made potato salad last night after giving up and texting my son to see what he wanted. Only... sigh.... I ran out of celery seed; hope it doesn't make too much of a difference in it. I guess when I was making pickles I used it nearly all up - had barely a 1/2 teaspoon left - and need about two teaspoons. Oh well.  I tried.  Think I will make a kidney bean salad as well; I don't do that often, but I love it.  Need to boil a couple eggs though to put in it.  Looking forward to seeing this little family.

Oh - the 'large (aka loud)" noise that I heard the night before?  I figured it out.  I have Christmas cards taped to the door.  Instead of the tape letting go of the door and sliding down flat on the floor, which most have done - this one card fell straight and hit hard against the floor - which was the loud noise I heard. Solved!

I finished another book last night, but alas, will still not meet my goal of 50 books.  But I'm closer.  I have noted that I have read 46 of 50 books... and if I go through all the books I have, I'm sure I could possibly find some I forgot to put I was reading or read.  But, not going to.  No cheating on this goal and stretching things to make it work.  I will put 50 books again for next year since I did not meet it this year - but I'm still proud of myself - last year I read only 35 I think it was.  So I'm still ahead of what I did last year.  Now my oldest son is way ahead of anyone, I think - he reads all the time and is over 300 now, I think.  Over 250 for sure.  I need to reset priorities and read more.  And, since I have only a couple things I plan to make for the kids this coming year for Christmas next year, I should be able to find more time to read - if I remember and don't sit down and watch movies with hubby and crochet.  I wish he would give up TV permanently - but yes, I do turn it on occasionally to watch a movie if I'm here alone, but I don't lay in my chair all day watching one movie after another.  

I am wanting to shake things up this coming year in my own life and do more things.  Will I?  I don't know - but I want to.  By January 1, my plan is to sit down and write down as many things as I can think of that I want to accomplish in 2025 and beyond.  I don't have to limit myself to just 2025. I can dream beyond that - and sometimes our dreams require that we go beyond that, right?  I want to change things in me.  I want to read more.  I want to love more. I want to volunteer more. I want to become involved more. I want to live more.  Yeah, work is going to run interference on a lot that I dream of doing - but God will provide for the things I want to do.  I don't even know what to begin to list.... will sit down December 31 and start writing things down.  It is my list - don't know whether I will share any of it or not.  I may share as I finish something.  I also don't want to overdo my list and then feel defeated that I haven't accomplished some things.  Will need to ponder what to list and what is not that important.  What about you? Going to set goals for yourself this next year?

Matthew 11:28 (NLT):  Then Jesus said, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest."

I love that verse.  Why?  Because it is a reminder to me that when I am carrying such heavy thoughts and burdens, that if I pray about them, and ask God to take over, that whatever happens is in HIS hands, and not my own, I can rest.  Seriously.  You doubt me?  Do you think I would be anywhere sane if I tried to continue life doing it MY way?  Oh no - I learned a long time ago that by praying and asking God to align the situation up to His purposes, that I can let go of it and whatever happens - happens.  I learn from these times, as one should.  Many times it doesn't end up the way I would want it to, but I know that God is in control of every situation, every problem.  His responses are much better than mine would be.  You've read my frustrations with people, you've 'seen' my hurt from what people have said and done to family members and to me personally, you know where I stand on some things, and you know me very well if you have been reading for any length of time.  

I have learned that life is not about me and what I think, or what I feel, or how I react.   Life is giving everything to Jesus and letting HIM take over every pain, every trouble, every grief, every situation.  erase erase.  Everyone's life is different.  And we can agree to not agree over things. And that's all I'll say about that.

Give your problems, issues, friends, and family, to Jesus.  Let Him take charge of their lives. Doesn't mean they won't still make mistakes, but when you give them to Jesus, it is no longer your responsibility to worry about them.  

And with that - I need to get started on my day. Things to get done before family arrives and I want to be ready. I'm so excited to have family over today!  I know, need to do it more often if it brings me such joy.... but, time and availability and 'things' are not always in my hands.  So I give it to Jesus and celebrate when I can. :-)

Blessings!

I did it!

 I got up and cleaned the bed off after I wrote in here yesterday.  Well, except for the material that I'm working on with quilts, and some 'things' I plan to give when others arrive to celebrate Christmas.  Not doing the chocolate covered cherries nor the summer sausage giveaway this year.... not the ham... I overdid it enough.  I tell you, my brain went to sleep while I was shopping and over-ordered.  I still can't believe what I've purchased. But, oh well. It is what it is.  Hubby has gone to his bible study this morning and I asked him to take a couple things back to Kohls that he bought for me - one that still had the metal tag on it (that I want to keep) and a sweatshirt that was XL and I really do not need another plain sweatshirt.  He bought me two-three of them.  If I was taking them back, I'd probably throw on a couple other things he purchased for me for I am sure I will not be wearing very thick sweat pant and shirt set.... it doesn't get that cold here.  I understand his desire to give me matching things and he just couldn't figure out - even with my list - of what to get me.  He still overbought things.  I just hang them in my closet and say thank you.  Sometimes that is the best thing to do, right?  After all, I do have a box of hoodies and t-shirts that I'm not sure what I'm going to do with.  By mid-summer hubby could probably use new t-shirts - these are plain (except for one or two) so he can work out in them.

I was awakened this morning around 4AM by a large click noise.  I was in a deep sleep and CLICK! and my mind jerked awake.  I listened for a moment then got up and walked around.  It reminded me of the deadbolt lock - when it gets light I may check the front door to make sure it is still locked.  It makes a loud noise when locking or unlocking it.  I'm always careful with it when I sneak out to pick up a delivery, so I know what it sounds like. LOL   No deliveries for over a week now - the drivers must think I died!

I plan to get dressed and head over to the grocery early this morning so that I can buy lunchmeat and chips for lunch tomorrow.  Want to beat the weekend crowd. I like Safeway better for meats, and I may as well pick up hamburger for the garbage I need to fix on Monday.   We had to bump the youngest and his family to 2PM on Monday as hubby remembered he has a dr appointment at 1PM.  My trainer sent me my times for this upcoming week and she at first gave me 4PM Monday but I had to ask to change it; don't think we will be done by then.  Looks like I go Tuesday and Wednesday this coming week.  And that's ok.  I'm off M-T-W this next week - working on Thursday/Friday.  My messages are up to 34 for - only see one that I may need to do something with but will get on the work computer sometime and clear them out. 

Trying to decide whether or not to fix potato salad or a regular salad tomorrow for the lunch.  Will see if I hear from the son before I head to the store.  I know he likes both.

We ate leftovers yesterday - lunchmeat sandwiches for lunch; a hamburger dish I had made earlier in the week for dinner.  I took what I had heard a grandson had done - I put it in a burrito and rolled it up - and you know what?   It was really good!  I would do that again - hubby liked it as well.  We actually ate late for us (about 7PM) because we watched football earlier, trying to see the oldest son at a football game - which wasn't going to happen!  Daggone - the game before it on ESPN went into 6 OTs so it was over an hour before ESPN finally switched it over to the game we wanted (well, we didn't care to see it, but only because the son was there).  We then watched a movie.

What movie?  The Forge.  It is really a very good movie.  No shooting or killings, but a good movie to watch as a family.  Hubby and I both enjoyed it and for me, gave me a lot to think about.  Yes, it is a Kendrick Brothers movie (think Facing the Giants, or Fireproof, or Courageous, or War Room - all awesome movies).  One thing this young man asked himself was....

What is it that I put before God?  You should have seen his face when he realized it was his gaming!  I won't tell you of the anguish he went through as he faced the decision of what to do.  But I get it.  And I have sat and thought about that question.  NOTHING is to come before God.  Not even those we love. For some that could be hard, for especially our grandchildren - or great grandchildren - steal our hearts.  But our hearts should be focused on God first.  Before family. Before possessions. Before TV.  Before activities. Before church.  Yes, I said before church.  God is to be first. #1  Numero Uno.  So where is He in your lineup?  Watch the movie - see what choices were made and why.  

I went to bed with lightning bolts flashing around my left eye last night - and by being awakened suddenly this morning, I had lightning bolts flashing around the right eye.  I'm dealing with a headache at the moment, but at least the lightning bolts are gone. I will take something if it doesn't go away soon - right between the eyes!

Psalm 103:1-2 (NLT):  Let all that I am praise the Lord; with my whole heart, I will praise his holy name. Let all that I am praise the Lord; may I never forget the good things he does for me.

Oh how often we do forget the good things that the Lord does for us!  He provides for us, even when we don't realize it.  True, we may 'pay' for groceries, but He provided the means to get the money to pay for the groceries. He provided the means the get a vehicle to go to get the groceries.  He provides everything for us - why do we not pause and thank Him for all that He does?  Because we get so caught up in ourselves, what WE do for ourselves - right?  Yeah, I'm guilty as well.  Not pointing fingers, for sure!  I sometimes forget to pause and thank Him for the little things that soon become taken for granted.  I am guessing you take some things for granted too.

How often do you pray and thank God for your spouse?  Yeah, I don't do that often enough.  Yes, even though hubby drives me absolutely crazy, and I often share stories of him doing things in here, I do need to thank God for him more often than I do.  He means well; I am just not as appreciative as I should be. Maybe that is a 'goal' I need to work on in 2025.  Be more appreciative of hubby.  What about you? Do you need to be more appreciative of your spouse?  Your children?

I need to get off here and get busy; want to get to the store before it gets too busy. First of all, need to get dressed; don't think my jammies will keep me warm enough.  Hope you have a good day.

Blessings!

Is it really the 'day after'?

 I've been having Saturdays for a few days now - and today feels almost like Monday.  And yet, it is only Thursday.  I awoke around 4-ish, as usual, and then dozed off and on until I felt a pin prick close to my knee (a nerve?) and it caused me to jump out of bed!  I got up, and since I work hubby at (it was nearly 5:30AM by this time), he got up as well.  Only he was more productive than I.  It's recycle pickup day since they didn't yesterday - he took our recycle out, made my coffee and brought to me.  Yes, I'm spoiled. Although I complain sometimes about it. I'm a big girl and yes, I can make my own coffee. But it isn't worth the battle to make it myself.  He likes talking 'it's in the Bible' - He-brews.  Get it?

Yesterday was a good day, albeit different for a Christmas day.  I'm usually hustling around cooking and this year there was none of that.  Well, I did go ahead and fix bacon and eggs and pancakes for breakfast after I got off the computer yesterday morning.  Made the salad later and we headed to the daughter's for a mid-afternoon lunch (lunner?) and us girls started working on a puzzle while the guys watched football. After a couple hours hubby and I decided to head back home.  I did go see Ms. Diane last night and I could barely get a word in edgewise.  I guess she was trying to make up for my not visiting her for about 3 months.  I will go back and visit in a few days.  I've got to stay in touch with Ms. Diane and Ms. Vicky - they don't have many other visitors.  Ms. Diane's daughter and boys do come to visit almost daily, but Ms. Vicky generally has no one to visit often.

Hubby and I had talked about running over to the gym early this morning.... wonder if he remembers. Do I want to go? Not really.  But if I talk myself in to it, I can go and walk the treadmill while he uses the weights.  I can wait until Monday when I will more than likely have a scheduled training.  I did buy hubby and I an additional 5 training sessions for Christmas.  Morgan was going to try and work 3 sessions in a week for 5 weeks to use up the extra.  That extra training may be the turning point for me to drop some of this extra flab.

We also have our 21 day fast coming up after the first of the year.  We try to do it when Free Chapel does theirs so it is January 5 - January 26.  Hubby and I are discussing what to fast. He always wants us to do the same thing 'together'.  I told him that I am really wanting to do a true Daniel fast - which is fruits, vegetables, water for 21 days.  Daniel was more healthy after 21 days eating just fruit and vegetables than those who ate all the other foods!  It could help me (us) physically and mentally.  Hubby does get on this 'protein kick' on how we need protein and I usually give in and then fix chicken and fish. But then, maybe I'll just go back to my standby of BBCD.  No Bread. No Beef. No Chocolate. No Desserts.  It really is tough to do, trust me!  It is easier for me to remember, and if we go out to eat with friends, I don't have to give an explanation of salad, no dressing, please.  And since our RV park friends are here now and we eat with them occasionally, it might be easier.

The importance is not in WHAT we fast, but WHY we fast.  Hubby asked me why I was going to fast - what specifically was I going to pray for.  And, if you know me, some things I like to keep between God and me.  I will write out by January 5th specific things I will be praying for.  And, yes, many times it includes my children, health issues, situations, problems, etc.  And yes, many times it also includes me, and hubby, and our relationship with each other and with God.  Our relationship is difficult to explain, let alone live through.  Hubby is good to me, but he doesn't always let me do what I want to do.  LOL I had written some things down with sizes of what I 'wanted' for Christmas.  At the bottom of that visible list I had added 'permission to retire before I die'.  I really expected at least some comment about that statement - but - he did not mention it.  And no, I did not get 'it' for Christmas.  Having extra money is nice, I admit, and I would have to give up a lot more than he would.  And I'm leaving that there.

We are moving quickly to the end of this year and looking ahead to a new year.  2025.  Who would have thought we would ever see it?  

Good grief!  It is 7AM and it's still dark out - and I hear the landscapers outside blowing leaves!  How do I know this? Cause I can hear the blower - but he has triggered the lights next door and ours in the courtyard!  Christmas in the middle of their week messed up their schedules I guess so they are making sure to get us done to catch up on others.  I remembered this morning that I had not gotten anyone to cover for me today or tomorrow - it shouldn't be a problem as two of my bosses are out as well.  I will just on (maybe) sometime today and see if there is something urgent I need to get done.  After all - it's the gym and crocheting otherwise.  This is a taste of what retirement would be like for me, perhaps.  Good news is that tomorrow morning hubby will have his Bible study (he has already asked for 7 loaves of my bread to take to the guys for a late Christmas gift) so I will have a few hours alone. Oh my goodness, what will I do in that 2.5 hours??  Maybe I'll get ahold of my girlfriend, Melonie, and ask if she wants to go do breakfast.  Or not. I may just sit here and enjoy the quiet of the morning. Or bake. I DID get two new cookbooks for Christmas from my sister and I can't wait to try some of those recipes! 

I do want to make more cranberry strawberry jam - my trainer said she wants me to make her more and she will pay for it - she likes it that much!  But, of course I won't ask her to pay for it.  I do want to make more - we like it too!  I do still have a few jars left, but I need to go get more pectin and jars.  It doesn't make that much at a time, but I did get about 14-16 jars out of the two batches I did.   First time I made jam that came out perfect.  Of course I want to make it again!  I have cranberries and I have strawberries - I just need pectin and jars.  I bought the reduced sugar pectin - and I dropped the sugar down a cup.  I wonder if I could drop it a little more.  May not try it, it was perfect with what I used.  That could be a store run (or maybe I'll do a pick up order) today.  

And now I'm rambling so will close this off.  I just might start on this bed and get it cleaned off now that I don't need to be wrapping any gifts.  Pack my wrapping paper away for another year.  I have plenty of things I could be doing - maybe I'll have things to share tomorrow that I've completed - but don't expect it.  I'm on 'vacation' from work, after all.  

Have a great day!

Blessings!

Ah....'tis the season....

 Although hubby and I went to bed a little later last night, I was frequently awake throughout the night, and at 4:30AM when he got up to 'walk down the hall' I asked if it was time to get up.  He laughed at me and said to go back to sleep.  I said I can't.  So he said then let's get up!  And we did!  He got our coffee while I found a fireplace on the TV screen to crackle and pop and make the room cozy.  He distributed the gifts between us two.  We opened our gifts and ate Danish this morning.  I've had a shower and now am in here to do my 'quiet' time.  We will be heading over to the daughter's around 1PM or so for lunch.  I am to make a salad - and realized too late last night (not that I would be going to the store) I forgot the cheddar cheese to put on it.  Oh well.  It does give it a better taste, but I forgot it.  I do have Parmesan cheese - maybe that will work? Although it isn't Italian salad?

Hubby got me several things.... he filled my stocking with bags (yes, BAGS) of chocolate - the good, dark chocolate kind.  And one wonders why I can't lose weight?  At the moment, I have eaten way too much chocolate the past few weeks that chocolate doesn't even interest me.  He got me a Christmas t-shirt, which I asked for, a Christmas sweatshirt... a couple other sweatshirts; a sweat suit; two pair of pajamas... and I don't remember, but I think it was all clothes.  One of the shirts still has that metal thing the stores put on it for theft so will have to take it back to get it removed.  I don't know when the sweatshirts will be worn... our temps don't really require it; don't know what he was thinking.  He does wear sweatshirts, but I don't go outside much... I do wear my hoodies more often as they are easier to get on and off.  He goofed on a couple of the sizes and got XL ... and one was a medium.  Not a big deal.  I still have XL sweatshirt hanging in the closet from last year.  All in all, it was a good Christmas.  I'm wearing my Christmas t-shirt today.  

My big brother had sent three gifts to us and wouldn't let us open until this morning.  One was a photo of hubby and I with him when we visited a few years ago - he had it put on a canvas and then ordered a frame and oil paints for us to paint. I don't think it has brushes with it; will have to double check - but it is 16x20 and I wonder where to put it once it's done. I told him I need to finish the Last Supper diamond art project before we can start on this one!  He also got us an advent puzzle - but since I opened it today, will wait to put together next year, along with the one my daughter got us last year (and yes, I did put it together again this year).  He also got us a truck/snowman/tree snow globe that lights up and plays.  I managed to find a place to put it and the snowmen snow globe he gave us last year.  Nice gifts and fun to open.  He always surprises me with unique gifts.

Distractions.  Texts from family and friends and of course I had to answer right away! It's going to be a good day - although a lot different than the past.  It is nice to relax and enjoy time together without rushing through everything, but I do miss it being closer to Christmas.  Less stress is good for everyone.  I'm already thinking ahead to next year... Christmas is on a Thursday so I will probably be taking Christmas Eve and the day after off work.  Don't think I'll take the entire week.  It won't be required to take extra days as it was this year.  Corporate was closed M-T-W this year - open the next two days but I decided why work - so I took those off as well - and then it's closed again M-T-W next week - but I will go back to work on Thursday, January 2nd.  I see someone has been working for I have 14 messages. I'll get on some time the next few days and clear those out.  

We had Christmas with the daughter and family last Saturday as the grandson had come in from New Mexico.  Christmas this Saturday with the oldest son and his family; Christmas again on Monday with the youngest and his family.  I just keep celebrating!  But with all the celebrating, we do pause to remember exactly WHY we are celebrating this day.

Luke 2:11-12 (NLT):  The Savior - yes, the Messiah, the Lord - has been born today in Bethlehem, the city of David!  And you will recognize Him by this sign: You will find a baby wrapped snugly in strips of cloth, lying in a manger.

If you think about it, we wouldn't be celebrating 'Christmas' if it wasn't for Jesus.  There wouldn't be gift giving; there wouldn't be Santa Claus; there wouldn't be reindeer that we imagine flying across the sky. People had to commercialize Christmas  because they can't understand the REASON for the SEASON.  It's all about Jesus.  It's more than the gift-giving - which is fun - (sometimes) - but it's pausing to remember that God sent His one and only Son, Jesus, to earth, born in a manger, to show us how to live a godly life, to die on a wooden cross, to be resurrected - all to show us the way to Him.  Christmas is all about Jesus.  Not about the gifts. Not about family. Not about food.  Jesus.  The One and Only Son of the Living God.

I did take a cheeseball and bread over to Ms. Diane last night, but her daughter and one son was there and they were getting ready to sit down to eat so I didn't stay. Ms. Diane kept asking me to come back.  I told her that I would try to go over tonight when we get back home. I don't think we'll stay long at the daughters - but we aren't eating until around 2PM.  I can visit Ms. Diane tonight. She did give me a nice container filled with - of course - chocolate.  Her son said I could always regift it (was this a regift?) but I told him 'no, it' chocolate!'  I tried to take a cheeseball over to our neighbor, but they weren't home.  May try later today unless we see them outside.

And with all that, I think I will sign off and get moving. Need to dry my hair (yes, it's Christmas so I took a shower) LOL - maybe I'll fix something solid for breakfast for hubby and I and not just Danish. My little brother sent a breakfast Swiss Colony so may make pancakes and bacon. :-)

Have a very merry Christmas and I hope that you not only receive all that you desire, but remember the reason for today.

Blessings!

Trying to find myself

 I did it. I went to see Ms. Vicky yesterday afternoon.  We had a nice visit and she was so appreciative that I came to visit. I learned she sold her car as her eyes are so bad with muscular degeneration (I think that is what it is) that she can't see much except in peripheral vision.  She could no longer drive.  I feel bad that I haven't cooked extra and taken food over to her; she mentioned her roommate got after her for not having any groceries and she said she had responded she had peanut butter and bread; she was good.  She gave me a large crockpot she no longer used so I am going to make a big pot of chili before the week is over (well, that is the plan) and take some over to her.  I need to keep in better contact.  Today I plan to make cheeseballs and take that and crackers over to her and to Ms. Diane.  Our neighbors will get a big one for they have a lot of family stopping by, I'm sure.  I still need to make cookies for the cookie plates and get those ready to be delivered or picked up.  I still have time so not critical.

I have things I want to do and get done this week - but none of it is critical and I can probably do it most anytime. I'm done with shopping and wrapping. I do need to focus on finishing this message for Sunday.  This morning, though, I do need to make my gym training at 9AM. After that I will get busy and get the cheeseballs made - and will see after that what I do.  The message is going to have to be priority though; I need to review it a few times before Sunday - and then start on the next week's message for I speak two Sundays in a row.

Hubby and I had a 'tiff' last night before bed.  I can not get his line of thinking sometimes.  Yes, I had some clothes on top of the washer (the dirty aprons that were used yesterday).  I still had some things that I use for baking on top of the dryer.  Now mind you, it was about 9PM.  Hubby comes to me, very nicely worded, and said (something like) "If I need to do laundry this week, will you be able to clear off the washer and dryer so that I can get to them?"  I get it - it was a nice question - but I feel it is very doubtful that he will wash clothes this week. (I'm not 'allowed' to do laundry. That's 'his' job. Which is why I wash some things while he is gone.)  And, was it important enough that I clear everything off at 9PM that night to make him happy?  Well, I just stood there and looked at him kind of crazy I guess - and voiced my thought...which has now escaped me.... and he said some things he should not have said to me - and then he went off on how mistreated he is, that it is always his fault and he was asking nicely.  Roll the eyes here.  Sigh.  I went in and threw the dirty aprons (there were 3) into the laundry room sink (I will wash them on Friday while he is gone), and moved the two trays and a few other things to my place at the kitchen table... I can put them away today.  The washer and dryer are now 'clear'.  He will do at least one load of laundry just to show me he was going to do it.  But at 9PM Monday night - knowing this is Christmas week; I am still baking and making things... yet, it was critical for him to tell me he plans to do laundry and the washer and dryer had something on top and he couldn't do it.  Lord HELP!

Today is Christmas Eve and as mentioned above, all I really have to do is my gym training at 9AM. I want to make the other things and get to the neighbors - and if I do - great. If not - 'it is what it is'.  I've been in a major funk the past few months and it has been difficult to come out of it. But I'm fighting my way to the top and out of that funk.  I think I have even dealt with depression, although not to where I couldn't do things. I just didn't want to make the effort. Have you ever felt that you have been beaten up mentally to where there was nothing left? That's where I've been, and I knew it, and looking back, I still see it..... I am fighting for joy.  I need to remind myself of where my Joy is.

Nehemiah 8:10 (NKJV):  And Nehemiah continued: "Go and celebrate with a feast of rich foods and sweet drinks, and share gifts of food with people who have nothing prepared. This is a sacred day before our Lord. Don't be dejected and sad, for the joy of the Lord is your strength!"

I'm sure I have shared with you before, possibly many years ago, of when one of my bosses yelled at me and slammed her hand down on her desk... I just stood there and smiled at her.  Then all of a sudden she stopped yelling, and told me "You have a nice smile." As if nothing had happened.  This boss always had me singing "The Joy of the Lord is my strength" all the way down the hall to the restroom and back.  I'm so serious!  Every.single.day!  She was so nice to me after her little outburst, which really had nothing to do with me, but everything to do with her.  In fact, when she became pregnant for the first time at age 42, she asked me to pray for her and her little one.  

The Joy of the Lord, and in knowing Him, is truly my strength in the most trying times of my life.  Life has not always been easy... probably mostly because of my own decisions, but many times I remind myself that people can not give me the Joy that I can get from knowing Jesus.  I don't know I could even explain it - it's an 'inner joy' that He gives us and that will help us through any trial, any battle, any conflict - anything that this life throws at us.  I am fearful (although we are told to 'fear not') of what the future ahead is going to bring. I've seen bits and pieces this year and it scares me, for I don't know how to handle some of it.  Someone who has been so controlling of my life (although the claim is that I am the controlling one)... well, let us just leave this here.

Hubby said he will be wrapping my gifts this afternoon because when he waits until the evening on Christmas eve, it wears him out.  I told him the wrapping paper, scissors and tape, are all on the back bed - he can go do it at any time.  Grateful I am done.  With shopping and wrapping. Still have cooking and baking - but that's ok.

I did receive one package yesterday - my pampered chef order. I thought they had told me I had 'won' a spatula, but they forgot to have it put in the package, I guess. No biggie. I have several of them. I really would like the solid metal one; couldn't find it in the catalog so will go to my usual 'store' - Amazon - and see if I can find what I want.  I got another $20 giftcard for Amazon from another co-worker.  That is $45 in Amazon e-cards (already added them to my account) and a $10 egift card for Starbucks.  I still have one from last year I have never used.  Found it the other day so maybe will stop at a nearby one and get something yet this week.  I really didn't need any pampered chef, but when it is people I know, I always want to help them reach their goal.  I bought a brownie pan which I plan to use today when I start baking. Not that I need individual pieces baked; cutting with a knife always worked before. LOL  

Well, I guess I have rambled on enough today and will get off here. I left my computer in the 'front room' dining table so here I am. Surprised hubby hasn't come to see what the noise is (clicking of the keys) but perhaps he hasn't 'heard' them. I need to start getting ready for the gym anyway.

Happy Christmas Eve - hope all your shopping is done! Who wants to go out in the crowds today?  Not me!  Be safe out there.

Blessings!

I think I've messed up my sleep schedule

 With being off work, and staying up later, somehow my body is managing to sleep an hour or so longer, which makes up for the later hour of going to bed. But, with that, it is messing me up.  I either sleep well all night, or I'm awake most of the night. Last night was an awake night.  Tossing and turning, thinking of things I need to pay, things I need to do. Silly things at that. I threw off the covers a couple times because I was so sweaty.  I still blame all this on the bug bites.  And I still get pin pricks in that area.  I may be nuts, but I have found 2 more bumps like the bug bites - one on my neck, and one on my belly. Do I have a bug in my bed?  It's been a couple days now but maybe they will go away soon.  October 12th was the night I got bit.... don't you think that they would have been gone by now?

I made cookies last night and as I was using my new very sharp knife to cut nuts - the tip touched my little finger and put about a 1/2 inch gash in it - not deep so no worries there, but it took me awhile to stop the bleeding. Never told hubby, you know how he could be.  That knife is sharp!  But I am loving it for cutting up things - just need to learn to keep my fingers out of the way. It could easily cut off a finger with one swipe.

Hubby will be leaving soon for his training.  I don't go until tomorrow morning.  I think we will only have one half-hour session this week due to the holiday and our trainer taking some time off.  But, when I added the date and time to my phone calendar, it came up for 60 minutes so I'm not sure how long - but I think it will be 30 minutes, unless others of her clients cancelled and she has the time. I'm sure hubby will ask her about it this morning; you know how he loves to be in my business.

A granddaughter and great-granddaughter will be coming over this morning to bake cookies. I hope I have everything she will need for whatever she wants to bake.  It will be fun baking with them; although I don't bake, just sit around and talk.  I still have a couple batches of cookies to make for the 'cookie plates', and I will get it done soon.  

My daughter called yesterday after she realized that with us doing Christmas with them on Saturday, and they did Christmas with their children yesterday - we won't be gathering on Christmas Eve or Christmas - so she is planning a Christmas lunch and invited us to come over.  That is really switching things up as we usually don't leave the house on Christmas day.  So we will go there for lunch and that will be a nice treat. I had no plans to fix a big meal for us - we would probably be finishing up the lunchmeat from last Saturday! In fact, we may get that again today.  Still have some soup as well. 

Yesterday was totally off.  We got partially dressed for church, then watched Jentezen Franklin @ Free Chapel.  It was very good.  About 10:15 (cause he went way over), we started getting ready - and I was ready to go by 10:30, which was time to leave.  Hubby still wasn't dressed; he was in a frazzled state... and I realized even more that although the gym is making him stronger, his mind is not.  He finally got dressed (all he had done previously was shave) and was still 'running around' trying to get ready. It's at least a 12-15 minute drive to church.  It starts at 10:45AM.  At 10:35 he was dressed, but didn't have his shoes and socks on.  At 10:40AM I tell him that we will be about 10 minutes late.  He kept apologizing that he had not gotten ready more before watching the service.  He finally looks up and asks if he can take me to breakfast.  So instead of getting there 10-15 minutes late, we went to breakfast.  It was 11AM when we got there.   He was frustrated with himself because I had been ready to go on time (I had done my hair and makeup before the service; all I had to do was get dressed) and he wasn't. So we went to breakfast instead.  I talked with my daughter, my sister, and my little brother. And I baked one batch of cookies.  Hubby watched TV alone until I finished the cookies, and we watched some NCIS repeats.  That was our Sunday - so productive, right?  Well, at least I got cookies made and touched base with my siblings.

I did get on the work computer and got caught up on emails and meetings to schedule, approved all the timecards, and shut it down.  I'll keep track as the week goes by if I get a lot of things to do.  Being off work from last Friday until January 2nd is a long time for me.  I know I will be bored before too long - although I still have things I like to do - at least Christmas is done. No shopping, no more gifts coming in, all my wrapping is done.  Yeah, need to clear off this bed now.   Should bake something for the neighbors (after all, she brought me cookies)... my 'I don't want to' keeps overruling 'I should' in taking things to the neighbors.

I do need to start focusing on the message for Sunday too.  I have a very rough draft, and I need to go through it and make it work.  I have it here on my left to start on.... what is my scripture for the message?

John 13:34 (NKJV):  A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, you, that you also love one another.

One can read that scripture and think it means we should love only our children or our spouses, and yet, it doesn't really say that.  We can't love some people and not love others.  Sometimes the 'love' is only 'like', but we also need to be respectful and treat them with love. I'm messing this all up, I'm sure.  I'm tired this morning - already!  Ok - let's try this again.  Let's step outside of family.  We have some very close friends that we enjoy being with and we say that we 'love' them.  But what about those that are alone; those that don't have as much as we do.... do we love them as Jesus does?  Ok - I'm putting myself on a guilt trip here - I say I love Ms. Diane and Ms. Vicky, but for the past three months I feel like I have withdrawn and become a hermit... I've enclosed myself.... and I'm not sure why.  By not visiting (I have talked on the phone, but not often at all), am I still showing them love?  I visited at least every week or two weeks, I think... and now for three months - nothing. I've got to shake off this withdrawal from life; this load of depression I seem to be carrying around, and come alive again.  Will see how today goes; maybe I will visit at least one tonight.  See, even I have issues I have to deal with.

We are called to love others as Jesus loves us.  We all know that Jesus loves us - are we loving others the same way?  Or are we always pointing fingers of things done that we don't approve of?  Ouch.  I think we all have something to learn from that scripture.

Let's start today - let's love even the unlovely.  After all, sometimes we are unlovely and we would never accept someone not loving and caring for us.  Who can you show love to today that you haven't for awhile?  Maybe today is a good day to start.  I'm in - are you?

Blessings!

Addendum:  This is how 'messed up' I am this morning. Hubby brought my coffee in a little after 6AM.  I just saw my cup with the lid still on it (to keep it hot) and thought I should make another cup of coffee so that I could get started on the message. I pick up the cup  - here it is 8AM - and find it is still full.  I forgot to even drink the first cup!  Is this the sign of how my day may be going?  Lord, HELP!!

First group completed

 It was a good day yesterday.  I did let hubby put the lunchmeat on the trays and he was glad to be able to help.  I guess I need to be more willing to let him 'be involved' in the little things, at least.  If I had refused his help, he could have been irritated and upset all day.  You know how us old people get!  Anyway - I got the dessert on the crockpot on low about 9AM (usually it's on high for two hours, but doing it early, put it on low).  Hubby did the lunchmeat, we left the hoagies in the plastic to keep fresh. Potato salad was done and in refrigerator. I added Gatorade to refrigerator to get cold.  I set out all the condiments, cut up pickles, cut up lettuce, tomatoes, and onions... and I think that is it.  Then we sat down about 11AM and waited patiently.  We took a nap.  Around noonish or a little after, I finally txt'd my daughter and asked if I had misunderstood - were they coming at lunchtime or dinnertime.  She made a comment back to which I responded 'ouch'.  Then she said they were on their way.  Once here, we opened gifts, ate 'lunch' and visited a bit and soon they were on their way.  My SIL and grandson helped clear the table and put things away, making sure everything was straightened up before they left.  It was a good visit.  The grandson who is in town for this is meeting up with hubby later.  He wanted to include me, but I know hubby likes to talk military stuff with him and I opted out.  We got to visit a bit yesterday and I'm good.  Hubby gets lonely for people to take notice of him; I'm willing to let him have this 1:1 time with the grandson without me.  Plus I get 'me time'. HAH.

After we put everything away, hubby and I kind of relaxed over the evening.  I finished up the baby blanket (yay - now down to two quilts to make) and we watched two movies (I started a new project with yarn my great-granddaughter picked out for me).  We (or rather, I, as hubby fell asleep for most) watched two Christmas movies on Up Faith and Family.  I must have been more tired than I thought - I slept all night until nearly 6AM!  So did hubby.  He is wanting to watch Jentezen Franklin at Free Chapel so we will bring up You Tube at 9AM - which means we need to be ready by then as once it is over, we need to get ready to go to church.  I hate to say this, but I am willing to stay home today and 'chill' and get things done - but in reality - I'm off all next week so don't need to skip church.  I want to be lazy cause I slept in. I want to shut myself up in here all morning and just be alone with no responsibilities. But, alas, that is not going to happen. Even if we didn't go to church.  

I definitely need to work on this message I have a rough draft of for next week. This week will fly by and I can't put it off to the last minute.  At least I have a rough draft, but hopefully can spend a few hours on it this afternoon and get a more complete draft done. Grateful I'm not working this week for I can get this one done and hopefully the one for the following week as well.  Then I have one week off and then speak again, I think.  I love to speak, but it does take time to pull these messages together.

And I've done nothing for our neighbors of Ms. Diane or Ms. Vicky yet.  What is wrong with me that I just can't pull something together and take to them?? I just want to be a hermit.  Maybe I can get some cookies made (my daughter got her cookie plate yesterday) today and take over to at least one of them. I kept telling myself to go visit Ms. Vicky yesterday after everyone left, but I didn't. I sure hope I find myself after the holidays; I don't like being a recluse.  But it feels like that is what I have become. 

I need to call my little brother today.... he had another biopsy Friday, but he was too tired to talk afterwards. He said he was ok, but I want to hear more of what is going on.  I need to call my little sister too; it's been a couple days since we've chatted.  She had her grandchildren and others over to bake cookies yesterday.  They have Christmas together on Christmas Eve.  Our next gathering for Christmas is next Saturday, then again on the following Monday.  I love stretching Christmas out - it causes me to pause and remember why we celebrate this season.  It may have been a 'one day' thing long ago, but this year I get to pause and remember why we gather, why we exchange gifts, why we share a meal together. It's not just a quick thing, it's a life long blessing.

Jentezen Franklin is playing his saxophone 'I will trust in You' - beautiful. He's having a candlelight service at 2PM and 4PM (our time - 4PM and 6PM back east).  We won't have any preparations to make - other than our own Christmas on Christmas morning - so not sure if we will go in person to the SA or stay home and watch Jentezen.  I'm done wrapping hubby's gifts - I think - but he still has his wrapping to do.  He keeps saying he wants to pick up a couple other things for me but may not. And that's ok. He loves to give me more gifts than I give him - I guess it proves he loves me - but to me, it's not the quantity, it is what the gift is. 

For example, my great-granddaughter saw some brightly colored yarn and told her mother than she wanted Oma to have that yarn. She chose it, and that is what she gave me'; two skeins of this brightly colored yarn. And you know what? I love it because it is from her and she chose it for me specifically.  I started crocheting with it last night; thinking I might have enough to make a narrow cover for me when I take a nap on the couch.  Two skeins of yarn may not be a whole lot, but it is a treasure when it is chosen just for me.   (LOL Opa got a Santa hat and he wore it all afternoon because she picked it out for him).  Papaws, you know you do the same thing!

Genesis 49:10 (NKJV):  The Scepter shall not depart from Judah, nor a lawgiver from between his feet, until Shiloh comes; and to Him shall be the obedience of the people. 

 Even in Genesis, the Messiah is mentioned.  Jesus is our Scepter.  He is our Leader. He is our Direction. He is our Savior. He is our Lord. He is our God. He is our Holy Spirit. He is - Everything.  There is nothing, no one, anything - like Jesus.  You can't hide Him; you can't ignore Him; you can't kill Him.  Jesus WAS, and IS, and IS TO COME.  There is no one like Jesus.  Jesus' birth was predicted way before He was to come.  There is no one like Jesus.

And there is no one that you can trust more.  I shudder to think of what I would be without Jesus in my life.  I'm not perfect by any means.... I still make mistakes; I still fail at times.  But I know that when I confess my failures, my sins, that I know that I know that I know - Jesus forgives me and picks me up and sets my feet on His solid ground.  I stand on the solid Rock of Jesus Christ.

New Year's will be coming soon as well... 'goals', not 'resolutions, my son says... my goal would be is a stronger commitment to Jesus Christ, that I would fail less this next year.  What would be your 'goal' or 'resolution'?  Start thinking about it now - what would you want to change in yourself this next year?  Pause and think... what would others want to see in me this year?  Something for each of us to think about. 

Have a good Sunday - turn your thoughts to Jesus, for He alone is the Author and Perfector of your faith.

Blessings!

Starting the Christmas fun

 Today my daughter and her family will be coming over for our Christmas celebration of exchanging gifts and a meal.  She had suggested lunchmeat...and they like Italian... so I went to the store yesterday and bought salami, pepperoni, and I forget what else.  Ham and turkey too for those of us with 'bland' tastes.  Hah.  She is to bring chips as I don't know what kind her family likes (does it really matter?)  I asked her to, to save me the very real possibility of buying way too many bags of different kinds.  Tea is made, for any that want it; Gatorade in refrigerator (need to add more); and water is plenty to be had.  I made the potato salad (was VERY surprised that my oldest son didn't want some when he stopped by yesterday), and yet, it feels like there isn't enough food.  I think I will make a pot of crockpot chicken chili and if any want soup, they can have it with the sandwich and chips.  Going to make the crockpot cobbler as it will be easy to put together.  Making life simple.

Except, although I have discussed lunchmeat sandwiches again with my oldest son for next Saturday when they come over.... I'm having second thoughts.  That's what they had last year.  Maybe I should ask him if he would prefer breakfast.... you know, biscuits and gravy, an egg dish, fried potatoes, ham or bacon, coffee/tea/milk/water..... then again, maybe not what he and the others wants.  The lunchmeat last year went well, I think - and I sent a lot home with them. I dunno... will have to ponder it and see if he comments. I know he doesn't really care... but it's part of 'our' gift to them and I want them to have what they want.  

Gifts are wrapped and under the trees so I don't have that stress this morning.  I sat down last night during the Notre Dame/Indiana University game (that was a good game!) and wrote out a list of things I needed to do this morning (and ran out of room).  Mainly putting the lunchmeat on a tray, making sure the hoagie buns are cut, put on the dessert, etc.  I even bought paper plates and I have plastic silverware so that we don't worry about dishes.  I may see if I have plastic cups - but I do like the glasses.  I have Christmas dishes and at this moment in time, don't know if I will even be using them this year.  Well, I guess I did use them at Thanksgiving.  

Hubby has already offered to help do things.... you know I rather do everything myself... but I know he needs to be valued.... I truly think he knows he is declining in some things and is fighting to still be a part of everything - although in years past he rarely offered to help - now I can't get him out of the kitchen at times. He will sit in his chair and watch me cook. Sigh.  SO perhaps I will let him get the lunchmeat out of the packages and put on the trays - that should keep him busy so I can get other things done, right?  It's simple, it's easy, it's busy work.  Yeah, maybe I'll do that.  I can see me in that position in a few years.... and I get it.  Lord, help me keep my mind active and alive.

I need to jump on the work computer to make sure I approved everyone's timecard and I have already noted there are invoices there that need to be processed.  And why is it people send meetings for me to schedule five minutes before or after I take off?  I did put my out of office on at 2PM.... but I didn't shut the computer down until 3PM.  I may jump on later this afternoon and get those things done so that I don't have to get on next week.  Corporate is closed Monday - Wednesday, and I took Thursday and Friday off as well.  Not that I needed to, but I can use the rest. Although if hubby is driving me crazy, I may cancel Thursday and Friday and work it.  Then we are off Monday-Wednesday the following week.  I plan to go to work on January 2nd at this moment in time.  I had to use my PTO and that's ok - forced 'vacation' is needed at times.  I have been pretty exhausted and really do need to relax and refresh....although I don't know how I can do that.  It's not the family coming over; that refreshes me and restores my joy... it's the daily living that defeats me. And that's why I can't retire, no matter how much I wish I could.   The life I once dreamed about faded long ago.

My legs started telling me last night that they had been worked on the night before.  Every time I stood and tried to walk, I found it was extremely difficult to get the legs to move.  This morning it isn't as bad, but my legs are still letting me know they aren't happy with what I did to them. WAH.  Suck it up buttercup!  I am getting stronger.  

I seem to 'have nothing' to share this morning.  I was able to finish the baby blanket last night - only need to weave in the ends and I can put it in the bag with the other baby items.  Still have the quilt to do but it isn't a rush. Neither was the blanket and I know it isn't needed, but now she will have something from her great-grandma.  I wish I had gotten more blankets from my mom to pass on.  I was able to give one to this granddaughter for her firstborn.  I've kept some of the blankets I've made in the past for my children to pass on to their great-grandchildren.  Some time I will sort them out.

Think I will stop writing in here and get in the shower.  Maybe that will get my mind functioning as well as a clean body.  I may even smell better. My boss gave me some 'shower steamers' which I plan to use.  It's supposed to make the shower smell pretty as I wash.  Rolling the eyes, right?  Well, what else are they good for?  You can breathe in lavendar to relax you; you can breathe in eucalyptus to open the lungs and nasal passages.... I forget what 'flavor' these are, but I'm going to use them!

I have no idea any more of what I wrapped for whom.  They are all getting more than I meant to - and I don't care.  Unless I know what they want, they get things they will wonder why did they get that. Oh well.  I want to focus on my children ... but like us, if they want it, they get it, so there is nothing else they need.  When I was growing up, we had need for many things. I think that is why I overdo it at times. We never had much, but we had what we needed.  I've always remembered that.  We didn't have all the extra stuff.  I didn't get the Barbie.  I barely remember having a doll, but it was a bride doll that someone bought me after my dad died. I remember playing the game of Jacks.  And books.  I was already reading books.  Got my cedar chest at age 14.  Other than a couple things mother made me out of ceramics (that have since gotten broken and thrown away), I can't remember any specific thing that stands out from the holidays.  Well, other than mother always fixed fried chicken, ham, biscuits and gravy for breakfast after we opened the gifts.

It's ironic as I think back... my stepfather and my mother always had all of us kids gather, even after we were married with our own families, for years we sat around the large front room to open gifts.  Seems like we all got to open one at the same time, then go around to see what it was and from whom.  Took forever (like it does now).  I actually prefer the one at a time now.  I got a taste of complete chaos one Christmas when everyone opened all of their gifts at the same time, and I was so disappointed that I didn't get to see a couple people open some special gifts I had bought for them specifically.  They ripped open the package; glanced at it, and moved to the next one.  We have always commented we hated the one at a time per person... but I can see the value in it.  Yes, they know it is from us, but there are some that have a special gift, and I do want to see their expression when they open it.  Sometimes when I make something, like a quilt or blanket, my joy comes from seeing their expression of surprise and appreciation of knowing I worked so hard on something for them alone.  Does that make sense?

I also need to find time this next week to work on the message that I will be sharing on the 29th.  Then I also speak the following week so need to pull that together as well.  Then I definitely need to clean this room!

My only excuse for all the gifts is that my mind deteriorated to the point I have no recollection of buying some items and when I received them, I just wrapped and put a name on them.  I think that happens when life becomes overwhelming and exhaustion sets in, doesn't it?  I desperately need to run away by myself and spend quality time with God with no interruptions.  Not just a day, but for as long as I need.  I've missed that solitude.  Going to a hotel for a 'retreat' or even another house isn't the same thing.  I still have hubby with me and usually in the same room.  Ok - mind is going off on a rabbit trail.  I need to start getting things done; get in the shower first.  Looking forward to having family around today.  

Sometimes life is different and difficult and we need to do different things.  It isn't always easy to make that decision, but with God's help, and guidance, we can do it.  I have to pray for strength to endure these end of life times, to be patient and to be kind.  It's what I would want for myself as well.  Age may just be a number, as Morgan tells me, but age also takes away living sometimes. So I put my trust in God and pray that He keeps me healthy and sane until the end.  God is always good.

Blessings! 

Missed things rushing about....

 but did I really 'miss' them?  Sigh.  I was running late yesterday getting out of the house and trying to get the bags filled at the last minute to take to the bosses - and I neglected to put in a couple cold items.... and when they opened them, I could see their disappointment they didn't get something and I felt guilty. In fact, if we were at the office, I felt guilty enough I would have made it and brought in today!  But - it's the thought - not the gift, right?  Mental note taken, though, to make a list for each one and check it off before I head out of the house.  My fav boss, Sue, gave me a few gifts; her biggie to me is the $$ spent on the Christmas Idea House brunch and getting to go before the public is allowed in.  I've offered to pay several times in the past, but she always says that is part of her Christmas to me.  My male boss actually gave me a Christmas gift this year besides homemade toffee (which is very good).  I got a candle, hand lotion, gingerbread, and something else; can't remember.

At the white elephant exchange - it always amazes me - and makes me NOT want to play the game - that people will put in 'nothing' basically, even though the cost was to be 'around' $20.  I always try to bring a nice gift and this year was no exception. In fact, it is so nice that I considered 'stealing' the gift back when it came time for me to select a gift.  The woman who got it didn't seem real thrilled.  But, she's retiring as of today and plans to travel (her husband passed a few years ago; don't know if she has any kids or not). Several bags were of chocolate, or of Christmas dishtowels (that you can get for about $5).  My turn came, and I already made the decision on what I wanted to get.  My friend, Chris, last year brought the cast iron pan that I worked so hard to get.  This year he brought a large swiss army knife that is very sharp for slicing and cutting things.  They all laughed at me when I walked right to it and 'stole' it with comments of 'she is on a mission; she knows what she wants!'.  And I did.  Now, I did not need a new knife.  But I knew it was a good one and I'm pretty sure it cost more than $20 cause I know my friend and his choice of pans and knives.  I could be wrong, but anyway, I got the knife and I like it better than getting a dishtowel or chocolate (that I don't need).    All in all, it was a good time and the Mexican homemade lunch was delicious - and I brought some tamales home for hubby and I for dinner.  I may eat the last one for an early lunch; hubby is going to his breakfast/Bible study this morning.  Makes me want to learn how to make them; yet, I know it is a lot of work.  I may just have to find it out.

Speaking of baking/cooking, I finally sat down for a little bit last night and looked through one of the cookbooks my sister sent me.  I.Love.it.  It is Taste of Home's baking cookbook and it has a lot of things in it that I am anxious to try making!  Even bread!  That's what I didn't get made this year - I was all inspired to bake bread for Christmas gifts - but in my troubled and jumbled mind, never got to it.  Maybe after the first of the year I can. After all, I did buy all the equipment I needed, plus I have two bread books already - surely I can't let them go to waste, right?  Maybe by next Christmas I will have baking bread perfected.

Today is my last working day until January 2nd.  I know it will be somewhat busy, and I still need to extend some meetings.  Hopefully I can get my mind-set to focus on that and get it done. And I need to run to the store and pick up lunchmeat for tomorrow's Christmas gathering with my daughter and her family.  I actually sat down before I went to bed last night and wrote myself a list of things to get done today.  Write thank you notes for what I have already received. Pick up lunchmeat. Make sure I have all the condiments that will be requested. I've already picked up bread for tomorrow.  Oh yeah, I need to make potato salad today. Maybe I will do that this morning. But, I need to run to grocery early so that I can beat the Friday crowd buying for Christmas.  But then again, where I live, these people are always in the store; what else do they have to do? LOL  I'm beginning to feel my work life is the only life I have.

I called my doctor the other day but they said they couldn't get me in until the 16th of January - and that would be a telehealth call. I told them no, that wouldn't work; I need for her to see the bites for herself.  They were to send her a note and ask if they needed to work me in. I haven't heard back. I may just see another doctor there; these pin pricks in those bug bites annoy and distract me. It should have completely healed by now, and yet, the bites are still there.  I wonder if they could be the result of my extreme exhaustion at times?  Didn't start feeling that way until after the bites happened. Just wondering.  I've gone to urgent care, dermatologist, and now seeing a medical doctor.  Any ideas on who can deal with bug bites and know how to heal them?  

Luke 2:1 (NKJV):  And it came to pass in those days that a decree went out from Caesar Augustus that all the world should be registered. 

My mama always had this saying.... "well, this too shall pass." and I often wondered where she got it from cause she said it was in the Bible.  Well, those things did pass, I admit, but I often wondered, when I saw the above scripture, if that is where she got it.  And other times, in the Bible, you will read, "and it came to pass".... so what in the world does that really mean? 

I have no clue, other than 'this too shall pass' - and it usually does.  Right?  Pain may take awhile, but it shall pass.  Anger may happen, but it too shall pass.  Struggles happen, but they too, in time, pass. Life does pass, doesn't it!

I worked out last night.... Morgan made me do legs. And my legs were hurting from being on my feet most of the day yesterday, and wearing my boot heels.  My feet were burning at the toes and sole of my foot.  It's been so long since I've worn heels that my feet can't handle them for long.  Anyway - we did legs.  By the time we got to the leg press (after 3 sets of leg push downs, 3 sets of squats with a 45 pound barbell - and I still ended up pressing 280 pounds with my legs! Actually more than that when you count the weight of the press itself.  Yes, by the time I got to that weight I had to push my legs to push it up, but I still got six reps before she quit piling on the weights.  We started with 50, then she doubled it, then again, then again... I quit counting how much weight she put on there. I was pushing with all my might!  I think even she was impressed. She said I had to press until I couldn't press any more.  My legs were shaking!  They will be hurting later today!

I 'may' get a surprise visit from my oldest son today.... he is going to be Santa Claus at a facility down the road.  A couple years ago he stopped by so I could see his costume.... wonder if he will today.  Need to get my running around done before - or plan to do it after lunchtime.  Always good to see Santa.  And with that - I'm off here - need to get moving and figure out what I'm doing.

Enjoy your day - it's FRIDAY!  Doing the Friday dance!

Blessings!

I guess it was the younger one....

 that kept me awake throughout the night.  Sigh.  How do I know this?  Because of the text that is on my phone this morning.  Drinking changes nothing; it only makes you do stupid things.  Trust me, I know that for a fact.  Drama has been over the top this year and looks like it may continue for awhile.  Some things are out of one's hands - whether right or wrong - and we need to pray and trust God for the outcome.  Only God can right the wrong, and He will do it in His timeframe, not ours.  Some people grow stronger through trials and challenges.  Some people grow weaker. We don't always get what we want; but God sees the bigger picture and we need to learn to trust Him with everything. Let.It.Go.  There is something to that, don't you think?

Today is going to be a crazy and busy day.  I need to pull together the Christmas gifts for three of those I support.  I will see all three today.  My favorite boss is going in to the office to work this morning so that we can meet up before the Network Christmas Party and exchange gifts.  I was busy last night making cheeseballs, another batch of salsa, cookies.... and I know I still didn't get everything done I wanted to. What is that saying everyone hates but uses?  "It is what it is".  Why do I stress so much about it?  Because I don't want to disappoint them.  I brag too much about all the different things I make.  And this year I am trying to back away from 'having' to make everything for those who make me feel it isn't much. Last year I went overboard for my bosses - this year I'm cutting back.  Maybe I'm feeling guilty about that. Oh well.  

I have for my favorite boss the cheeseball, salsa, pickles, jam, and bread, and a couple small gifts.  As I have shared before, I have given these (most) to her for years and her family looks forward to getting to have some of the fun things I make.  Sue has been so good to me over the years and has helped me grow and is the one who put me in the position I am in now.  As for my male boss, I over did him big time last year.... so he gets cheeseball, salsa, pickles, jam and bread... maybe.  And that's it. I'm still trying to think through how much I want to give him.  And for my other female boss (who reports up to the male boss), she only gets a small cheeseball and bread.  And maybe pickles.  I'm still trying to figure out what to get her.  My other female boss is in Colorado and last year I sent her a gift and she didn't even acknowledge it nor wish me a Merry Christmas... so I'm not sending anything this year.  Not being mean, but somewhere I need to draw lines.  I can wish her a merry Christmas today (as I think she is off as of tomorrow) and I believe she told me she was going to her daughter's for Christmas.  I take too much on, I think.  I love to give, but I want to see they really like it... know what I mean?  I put a lot of time and effort into these homemade gifts.  

Which is what I spent my time doing last night.  I made snickerdoodles for Morgan, as I see her tonight for training.  I kept thinking the dough didn't feel right... and then started second guessing myself did I put 2 3/4 cups of flour in it - or only 1 3/4 cups of flour.  The first batch burned on the bottom so I changed to my pampered chef cookie sheet.  Those didn't seem to cook all the way through, even though they were in longer than the time required.  I finally added a bit of flour to the last of it... but who knows what they taste like.  I finally fixed up a box for Morgan and that's it. Oh - I need to send her a couple other things too, but I had promised her cookies.

And since I struggled so much with the snickerdoodles, I didn't make any other cookies so am not taking to the cookie exchange today at the party.  Yep - doing the drive down to Mesa this morning about 8:30AM I 'm thinking to meet Sue and then the 'party' starts at 11AM.  And I'm still working today too so will need to come straight back home to finish up the day.  My two other bosses will be at this party so that is a win for me - I won't be getting emails to work!

Our neighbor brought over a plate of cookies last night for us.  Just what we needed, right?  Pretty cut out cookies.  Too much work for me when I'm trying to produce as much as I can in a short time. And with working.  I still wonder how in the world did I do so much when I was driving to the office every day.  Of course I was usually up until 11-12AM and got up at 5AM - whereas now I am usually in bed by 8:30PM (last night it was closer to 10PM) and up at 4AM.  Why can't I get my life in order?

I'll be busy still this weekend.  The oldest and her family are coming at noon on Saturday for us to have Christmas together.  Lunchmeat sandwiches and chips; she's bringing the chips for I don't know what her family likes.  I need to make potato salad tomorrow and pick up lunchmeat at Safeway.  The grandson is driving in from NM tomorrow for a few days then heading back on Sunday or Monday, I think, to have Christmas with his wife. She had to work and couldn't take off.  At least we can see him since we didn't go over Thanksgiving.  I do need to do more baking for I want to give to our neighbors. One positive is I baked a lot of my cranberry pumpkin nut bread about a month ago and it is in the freezer - it's depleting fast, but I still have several loaves in there.  My daughter's family is the one who likes it; the others don't seem to and don't ask for it.  Getting stingy with the jam as I haven't made any more.  Pickles - it depends on if they want the 'funny little ones' or the regular ones. Haven't made any more of those either.  Ok - enough of my ramblings on food and what I'm doing.

I think I have finished all my wrapping except for what I will be taking this morning and tonight. What they get is what they get.  Disappointed or not, 'it is what it is' - and I did go way overboard this year. I lost my mind for awhile.  Exhaustion is my only excuse. The brain died.  I don't know if I will ever et it back.  I need to get away and rest; truly rest.  Not just lay around and read, but sleep as often as I choose, walk about in nature, spend time alone where I'm not being watched as to what I'm doing, and just be free.  Does any of that make sense.  I'm not sure if it is just 'old age' or if I am going into another phase of life.  Lord, help, please help.  I am so weary.  I think I'm frightened, too, of the future. Hubby asks questions that make me confused... because he can see what I'm doing, so why ask what I'm doing.... does that make sense? I'm baking cookies.  I'm crocheting a blanket. The same one I was working on for the past week or so, for the same person.  Sometimes I wonder if he is playing 'mind games' with me. I sometimes don't know how to react or what to say.  I don't want to be mean. I think that also makes me weary and tired.

Galatians 6:9 (NKJV):  And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.

Don't grow weary for doing good?  I feel I'm already there! I need to work through what it is that is wearing me down.   I know life changes frequently.  Life really changed when I was sent home to work. And I'm glad I'm at home.  It's just hubby thinks I am at his beck and call (in my opinion, he will disagree) and frequently interrupts during the day to chat.  That's why I look forward to his being out with his friends.  I'm ok with being home; I just want to stay focused on what I need to get done.  I find it hard enough to stay focused on work projects and find myself just sitting and staring out the window instead of working.  Lord, help.  Did I tell you my boss Sue decided to retire in August 1, 2026?  I don't think I can mentally last that long.  It would be nice to be able to 'retire' and do things I want to do - like most retired people. and I'm shutting up. I need a nap already.

I guess in reality I have nothing to share this morning. My mind has left its post and I'm rambling. Think I'll get an early start on work emails and then start pulling things together so that I will be able to leave when I want to. Looking forward to seeing Sue; not so much the party. But it will be fun. Last year I got the cast iron pan in the white elephant exchange.  I need to decide what to take as well.  Busy busy!

Blessings!

It was stitch removal day

 I turned on my computer yesterday morning - and sigh, still the issue with Teams and Outlook was there.  I debated and took a chance.  Praise God! I called the Help Desk and I got someone who knew what I was talking about and gave me a workaround the issue I was having!  And, she had me do it myself, so that I could write down the steps should it happen again.  I have my Teams back on Outlook and am able to schedule meetings from the boss's Outlook calendar.  Major glitch with Microsoft so be careful if you do schedule like I do and need Teams numbers on your Outlook meetings!  It made the rest of the day go easy since I was behind on scheduling meetings by then. And still am.  Boss gave me 3 difficult ones to schedule before January 27th - but he isn't cutting me any leeway on time; everyone is busy and some are still taking PTO in the middle of January!  

Saw my dermatologist yesterday and he removed my stitches and then asked, "is there anything else we need to look at?"  Well, I had noticed after I had been there a couple months ago a spot on my head.... he grabbed his freezing can, found it and sprayed.  He said he'd rather spray spots than end up having to cut them out. I'm in agreement with him.  The freezing only hurts while it is being done.  I just hope my hair doesn't fall out where he froze the spot - I've noticed my hair is getting thinner as I've aged.  But I'm all good for now and he said come back in six months and he will do another thorough check.  After that I can go a year.  I usually go once a year anyway - which is how he found this one.

The orders are in for my labs so I need to run to the doctor's office to get them done. I love that the SQL that is in that building is ONLY for patients of those doctors.  I can't schedule an appointment as it isn't listed in the SQL location list, but I can drive over and my PCP will get the results right away. The next step is getting an appointment with her - that will be the tough one. I was planning on doing it sometime in January - BUT - I found out yesterday that I have met my deductible (thanks to Dr. Mackey and the Urgent Care) so I'm hoping I can get in before the end of the year. If not - no biggie - start on my deductible for next year.  I've got to get these bug bites looked at - seriously, they are still giving me pin pricks so as weird as this sounds, I keep wondering if the bumps are not eggs that were laid under my skin and they are coming to life!  Am I being weird and stretching it out there?  It was October 12th that I was 'bitten' - why are they still there, and why are they still hurting?  Bug bites don't last that long - do they? Urgent care doc said scorpion bites; dermatologist didn't say what he thought it was, just took photos of it and gave me antibiotics.  Wonder what my medical doctor will say about them.  Where else can I go to get it checked out? Who is left?

My daughter and I finished up my advent puzzle last night - yes, we completed it - and then tore it apart and put away as I will need the table come Saturday when they come over for our Christmas gathering. I'm getting off easy this year - she agreed to lunchmeat sandwiches, chips, and potato salad since it is lunch.  I'll run to the store on Friday and pick it all up.  Well, I will make the potato salad; that's a given. For my girl.

And I do it for my oldest son too, as he loves it.  I would be more than happy to fix whatever they would want to eat.   I will definitely have tea made for him.  I may even pick up some soda for the others - afterall, it IS Christmas time.   I read his blog this morning and see they are looking at the 28th - which will work out fine.  He needs to confirm and give me a time and we will go from there.  Doesn't matter - breakfast, lunch, or dinner - and give me an idea of what they would like to eat.  

I think I now have dates for all three - 21st for the daughter, 28th for the oldest son, and 30th for the youngest son.  It does make it easier on all of us, I feel.  I can enjoy each one and relax throughout the day.  It's a win-win for everyone - for they don't have to rush around to get here.  Sadly, we are several minutes away from everyone now.  I want to move, but hubby resists me.  We both have our reasons.

My oldest son knows more about me than anyone else - and I think that is our 'little secret'. LOL The others could read here if they wanted, but they don't.  Sometimes when my son shares something I can tell that he read my blog, I wait to see if hubby picks up on 'how does he know that?'. lol  Especially since I am asked every day 'did you talk to any of the kids today?' and then he asks by name.  He is so afraid I won't tell him I talked to one of them and he won't know what is going on.  EVERY day.  Ok - most days.  To me, it's not a big deal.  He just wants to be included.  I wish all my children wrote in a blog so I'd know what they were up to.  Me, I probably share too much.

Matthew 22:35-40 (NKJV):  Then one of them, a lawyer, asked Him a question, testing Him, and saying, "Teacher, which is the great commandment in the law?"   Jesus said to him, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.  This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it: 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.'  On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets."

And then one asked, "but who is my neighbor?" and Jesus began to tell the story of The Good Samaritan.  You remember that story, don't you?  (Look it up if you don't; I'm not going to tell you!"  So who are you?  The Levi, the Priest, or the Samaritan?   If we are beaten and robbed, we need someone to step up and help us and it doesn't matter what religion, what race, or what culture they are from.  And we need to be that Good Samaritan to others regardless of religion, race, or culture.  Sometimes it is hard to determine what is needed.  Sometimes situations are because of their choices.   Choose wisely on how to help so that you don't enable.

I say that because I would like to help a family member in another state that I have sent a small gift to and when they sent me a text to thank me, also shared some really bad financial issues going on. (erase) Enough of that - you don't need to know what she shared; I am not sure if I need to do something or just keep in touch and keep praying for them.  Her son has shared stories in the past - his opinion, of course,  that makes me a bit leery of becoming involved of the family - don't want to enable them.... ok, enough about that.  I enable my sister enough at times so I don't want to get involved with another family member.  

Christmas seems to always be the time of giving to others, doesn't it.  I think it is instilled in us as we grow up and get our own gifts, that we should also give to others.  We don't have much, but if I can help someone, I want to - year round.  There are a lot of things we haven't done this year, but we have been able to bless others.  We get so many requests for money from different charities, as you do.  And every time hubby will ask me what do I want to do - I usually say 'trash it'.  I prefer donating when I want to and the amount I want to.  Just because it is Christmas doesn't mean our financial status has grown bigger.  We may donate to one this year, but not next year.  It depends on what I see and hear about what they do.  I prefer to give as I hear people have a need.  And if it is someone I know whom I can give anonymously to, that makes me happy.  I try to be 'my brother's keeper'.  Just have to be careful on who needs because of life, and who has been unwise with what they did have.  Make sense?

And with that, I am going to shut up for today.  Lucky you.  God is good, and He is faithful.  I love Christmas - not for the giving and receiving of gifts - but because it causes me to pause and remember that Jesus came as a baby, born in a stable, laid in a manger.... for me, and for you.  He could have been born in a palace and people would have thought He was just for the rich; but He came as a poor child would, and He came for you and me.  What a great God we have!  

Christmas is one week from today - how are you doing with this season?  Let go and let God handle any stress.  Sometimes we just have to say 'enough' and stop shopping.  It's not about the gift; it's about love. And that's why Jesus came.  He came for Love.

Blessings!