I had a title and a topic last night....

 but sure can't remember it this morning!  Before I fell asleep last night (around 10-10:30PM which is much later than I usually go to bed) I had created the topic, the title and even the content in my mind.  So my apologies today if I ramble around and not have anything productive.

Today is Memorial Day and I have the day off work.  This year I'm not even worried about checking emails to see what my day tomorrow will be like.  Friday I didn't have much to do at all; just a couple meetings all day.  By waiting until tomorrow to check my emails, that should at least take up my morning.  I believe my one boss isn't working the next few days at all (still on vacation alternating work days and vacation days) and my other boss is retiring in less than two weeks and is weaning herself out of meetings.  Then again, I could be hit with several meetings.  I just don't know - and today, I'm not going to even think about it.

Hubby and I have talked about heading over to Lowes or Home Depot some time this morning to look for pots (I really think we can get them cheaper at Walmart so may try there first) and also pick up soil and lots of flowers.  All the bushes on the side of our duplex and behind us have been pulled out by landscaping.  I still can't figure all this out and at this point I have lost interest.  Hubby is VP of the dreaded HOA.  Because of water rates out here and the cost to the HOA (they pay the water bill), last fall they opted to have bushes pulled out of specific areas, and are even having trees cut down in the huge court areas in the back areas between the houses.  Yeah - all that back area belongs to the HOA except for our little 'patio' in the back yard.  They mow it, they water it, they trim the trees and bushes.  Well, to cut costs on water, they had the landscapers pull bushes around our duplex (and a few others).  I hated the back bushes as many were dead and have already cut down 4 trees behind us.  It opens the back yard up the sun, for sure, but they have reasoned the trees take more water than grass does.  

Anyway.... we are going to buy pots and put flowers in them along where the bushes used to be.

Ahhhh.... I just remembered my title, my topic, my content.  It was on isolation.  Now before I continue, I will say I enjoy being alone when I choose it.  I've mentioned that numerous times.  But the last few days for some reason, I have been feeling isolated.  There is a difference.  I like our 'new' home.  Our neighbors, when we see them - which is very rare as they are 'old' people who have difficulty getting around so they don't come outside - are very quiet.  I'm ok with that.  The neighbor of our duplex I call occasionally to check on her or take a meal over to her.  She has a caregiver come every weekday to stay with her.  The other side of us, the lady still gets out some to travel.   I met some new new neighbors a couple doors down as they walked the other night and I was out front with Sheeba.  

So what's with the isolation feeling.  I miss my kids.  Granted, where we lived before I rarely saw any of them, although one lived just a couple miles down the road.  The remembrance just came to me that he had commented he didn't like the fact we had moved so far away and although he didn't stop by, he knew we were nearby.  I get that now.  I miss it.  When we moved, which was a very good thing for us as we were forced to get rid of a lot of things, it was exciting and refreshing.  

I still enjoy our home, please don't get me wrong.  A lot of work has been done to make it perfect for us so that we don't have to worry about anything.  If anything goes wrong, all I need to do is let my son-in-law know and he is here within a couple of days to take care of it.   After we moved in here, my daughter moved about a 10 minute drive away.  I loved her being so close.  Even though we didn't go over often, it was comforting to find one of my children so close.  But they bought another place and have moved about 25 minutes away.  Not a big deal, still close.  But it feels like it's far away.   Actually, the younger son, who was the one who was always so far away, is now the closest, but his time and life is filled up with his own family.  As it should be.  Ironically, my middle child, who was only a few miles from us before, is possibly the one who lives the greatest distance away.  And now I'm rambling. Where am I going with all this?

I miss them.  Even though our interactions weren't frequent, I miss my children.  I miss my grandchildren.  And now I miss my great grandchildren too.  Yes, I just came back from a 4 day trip with my daughter, granddaughter, and great granddaughter....maybe that is what has triggered this feeling.  But I think it has been dormant for awhile.

Ok.  Erase and change thoughts.  Delete rambling thoughts.  It's all good. 

I can do something about the isolation feeling.  I've mentioned it numerous times over the year - but just haven't gone through with it.  I can make a difference.  I need to quit backing myself into a corner and withdrawing from life.  I need to take steps to be a part of life.  I know what I need to do.  I need to quit withdrawing and just do it.  If it's to be, it's up to me.  Remember that saying?

The more I keep myself from being active, the older I feel.  Getting old is not a bad thing.  But I want to live my life to the fullest, attempt things that stretch my strength, use my mind to be involved.  I don't want to hide in my house and not live life.  Does that make sense?  If it's to be, it's up to me.  

Jesus came so that we can live life to the fullest.  He never wanted anyone to feel unwanted, unneeded, unloved.  He always looked to those who needed someone.  He always goes before us; He will never leave us.  When we feel so alone, He is still there.  All we have to do is reach out to Him; talk to Him.  I am so grateful that I know Jesus, for He is truly my Lifesaver.   He removes the loneliness, and brings His joy and His peace.  I choose Jesus.

Do you know Jesus?  In your isolated and lonely times, do you know He is near?  He is.  

Blessings!

Awake at 4:11AM and it's Sunday!

 Yesterday was Saturday and we actually slept later than usual.  I think it was around 5:30AM before we awoke, which is still unheard of most days.  Because I get up around 4AM during the week, I try to sleep a little later on the weekends and it is usually around 5AM that I wake up.  But this morning, I am awakened at 4:11AM and then I could not go back to sleep.  I finally get up and come in here to read - and fall asleep again for about 30 minutes.  That works.  But, then I'm fighting to stay awake for I'd like nothing more than to sleep longer.  

But I hear hubby getting up so I turn the light on next to me and start reading my Bible.  It isn't long before he brings me a cup of coffee.  I finish my Bible reading and decide to go ahead and type in here before moving on to the book I mentioned yesterday.

Yesterday.  What a lazy day it was for us!  Seriously, we didn't do much at all.  Sheeba needed some dental sticks so we went to Costco.... and we left minus $$.  That's what happens when one 'browses through the rows' versus having a list.  Yes, we spent more than I meant for us to, but when men's shorts were $9.99 it seemed reasonable to buy hubby a few pairs.  I bought myself a couple tops too.  And then of course we got groceries.

One of the things I bought - now don't laugh - was a stuffed pepper dish.  It was hamburger, peppers, etc. ready to be cooked in a red pepper.  It sounded good, it looked good, and I rationalized the $15.99 cost for six peppers by determining we could stretch it over three meals.  Why did I get it when I normally would not?  That dish reminds me of one of my granddaughters who loves to cook.  I still remember her telling me that she had made stuffed peppers and they were so good.  Silly, isn't it?  But for some reason, when I saw the peppers I thought of her and bought them.  

Memories.  Things that I like to make, and things that I like to remember.  I have tried so hard over the years to create memories with my grandchildren.  

After Costco, we came home, put groceries away.... and did a movie binge.  I think I've mentioned it before we uploaded 'Up Faith and Family' and I had seen a couple other trailers on Facebook so we watched them.  We both thoroughly enjoyed the movies.  We watched a total of three movies yesterday!  I did get a lot of crocheting done too.  In fact, I need to make a run to Michael's today because I ran out of one color and need one more skein to finish the afghan I'm making.  But that will happen later.

This morning we will watch 'church' on TV - Jentezen Franklin.  Last week was amazing.  The Holy Spirit was flowing all over the church.  We watched the first service last week - and when my sister, who had watched the second service, told me what had transpired the 2nd service, we looked it up on You Tube and watched during the week.  We could even feel the Holy Spirit in our room!  He is going to be speaking on the Holy Spirit the next couple of weeks, he said, so we will catch the second service at 8AM this morning.  I can't wait.  It's not about the preacher.... it's about what he shares ... and He shares the Bible and revelations of the Word.  

We all need to read our Bibles and learn to listen to what God has to say to us.  It isn't all fire and brimstone.  It is love, and compassion.  It is doing for others.  It is treating them as you want to be treated.  It is so much.... and yet so easy... and even yet... we find we put ourselves first and neglect God.

I gave each of my children a Bible last year and gave them the challenge to read it.  I often wonder if they have even opened it yet.  Did they take it out of the box?  Perhaps to look at what I wrote inside it.  I didn't highlight any scriptures for I wanted them to find their own to highlight.  Some day they will turn their hearts back to God and will seek His face.

I used to have a magnet on my refrigerator that said "The greatest joy a mother can have is knowing her children love the Lord."  That is a true statement.  

Some day God will answer my prayers, in that I have confidence.  What about you and your children?  Did you take them to church when they were growing up?  Did you model for them what a Christian should be?  I know I failed many times in the model part.... but I tried.   I was learning too.  And I am still learning.

Faith has always been one of my top gifts, but over the past six years or so it has been shaken quite a few times.  Never my walk with God; but who I am in Him has broken me down.  Words spoken to me in anger, tearing down who I am in Christ, critical words that tear down and destroy.... it really took a toil on me.  For some reason, God allowed it.  I may not understand why He allowed these things to happen to me, but I can only believe He wants me to dig deeper into Him and not settle for just obeying Him.  He wants me to walk with Him as well.   He wants me to hang on to Him when things don't go well - and when things are going well.  He is to be my only Source, my only Hope, my only Provision.

God has been good to me all these years.  He has walked with me on many journeys and has been steadfast in meeting every need.  I need Him in my life.    We all do.  Whether you acknowledge God or not, He is in your life because you are in my prayers.  Oh the longing I have for each of you to come to know Him!

Many have turned away from Him to do their own thing.  The ways of this world have been strong, too strong for many to resist.  My heart breaks for you.  Please, do not reject the Lord, for He loves you so much.  Show respect for those who do love the Lord and try to follow Him.  If you don't respect yourself - that's one thing - but respect those who pray over meals, respect them who seek after God.  They may be your only hope in finding Jesus.

Jesus loves you.  He has always loved you.  He will always love you.  No matter who you are, no matter where you are, no matter what you have done.  Please, I beg you, turn your heart to Jesus and allow Him to fill you with what you lack.  Don't fill the emptiness within you with things, with people, with work, with food, with drink, with whatever you turn to.  Only Jesus can satisfy what you desire the most.

Give Jesus a chance.  Your life will be so much more fulfilling, so much more peaceful.

Blessings.

I got nailed this morning......

Perhaps 'nailed' isn't the right word.  Maybe it is somewhat 'convicting'.  But yet, not convicting.  What am I talking about?  I was reading in a book this morning titled 'Kingdom Woman' by Tony Evans and his daughter Chrystal Evans Hurst.  (BTW, Tony Evans has a couple books out there titled 'Kingdom Men' and 'Kingdom Men Rising' that I highly recommend for you men!)   The book I am reading is for women and it has some really good eye-opening, thought-provoking statements in it.  I would encourage every woman to read it.  I'd buy it for my daughter and daughters-in-law, but I don't feel it would be received well.  And I'm sure that giving 'Kingdom Men' to my sons would have no effect either.  sigh.

Ok - back to the book and what I read this morning.  I rarely get through the entire chapter in the mornings because they have a section by Tony Evans and then a section by Chrystal Evans Hurst, then another comment by Tony Evans.  Each chapter has taught me something about being a Kingdom Woman.  Yes, that is what I want to be.... and I seem to fail a lot in that.  

I had already read Tony Evans' comments in the first section so I started on Chrystal's this morning.  In it she talked about doing their taxes and what she wanted to get with their tax refund, and how it would make everything better.  She had in mind to purchase a brown leather couch to fit in their family room for they needed more seating, and better seating, for when extended family was over for get-togethers, as well as for her own rapidly growing family.  When she finally finished doing their taxes and had the bottom line refund figured out, she went to her husband and gave him the total and said what she wanted to buy with it.

He said no.  What?!  How could he say no?  After giving her 'argument' in the discussion, and still receiving a 'no', Chrystal closed her mouth.  The hardest thing in the world for a godly woman to learn to do in her marriage is to keep her mouth closed.  Do I need to repeat that?  (sometimes I do - to myself!)

A few weeks later Chrystal and her husband were leaving to go somewhere and as they turned the corner in their neighborhood, saw a brown, gently used, leather couch set out on the yard with the sign 'for sale' on it.  The sofa she had pictured in her living room had been put out on a lawn of a neighbor - for sale. By the end of that day, she had her sofa in her living room, delivery charge free, interest free, hassle free.  God had given her what she had desired, at a much lessor price, because she had been submissive to her husband.

Whoa!  There is that word - Submissive - that many of us women don't like!  But the word has not been shared as it should be.  It's not a bad word.  Many women rebel and say 'I will NOT be submissive to anyone' or 'I will not be submissive to my husband'.  

There is a difinitive order of submission.  

I Corinthians 11:1, 3 "Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ....Now I want you to realize tht the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God."

Paul, in writing I Corinthians, didn't dance around it.  He didn't sugarcoat it. He made it plain. When God established His order of things, He didn'thide it in some obscure location. He stated it clearly:

1.  The man is the head of a a woman.

2. Christ is the head of every man.

3. And God is the head of Christ.

Order has nothing to do with equality. Ithas everything to do with functional effectiveness.  Some people mix that up and get roles reversed and take function to mean inequality, so they dishonor and disrespect women. Scripture calls the wife a joint heir - an equal partner (I Peter 3:7, ESV).  There is a distinction between equality of being and equality of function.  Everyone doesn't play the same role. While every married woman is equal to her husband in being, she is not equal to her husband in function. When you are within your prescribed role, God is free to flow His kingdom blessings both to you and through you.

What Paul wrote concerning alignment didn't just apply to women.  He wrote that Christ is the head of every man. A man has to submit to Jesus Christ to open the flow of God's blessing into his home.  If you are a man who is not in alignment with God....  When order is followed itopens up the channels for God's kingdom power to flow.  Alignment has nothing to do with how much you bring to the table. Alighment has nothing to do with how much education, income, or fame you have. It has everything to do with God's ordained order. When order is followed, it opens up the channels for God's kingdom power to flow.

Yeah - I am looking inward and my own submission to my husband... and the lack of it at times.  It's not that my circumstances are any different from any others.  Many have the same 'issues' and 'discussions' that I have....perhaps not specifically the same, but still.   Sometimes I do find it easier to just shut up and walk away from a 'discussion' with my spouse.  After all these years, I often know when I am just not going to get through to him - unless it benefits him.  Sometimes, because I have walked away from it, God will cause my spouse to process and think about it, and he will bring it back to the table for discussion and many times will see what I have proposed.  Other times, he will still adamantly decline.  And it works both ways.  Many, many times I feel I have 'let' him have his way just to keep peace in the family - and oftentimes it costs us financially.  He just doesn't think things through and feels if there is money in the bank, it needs to be spent.  I can't get through to him that saving is more important at times.

Tremendous freedom comes when you realize that yourultimate submission is under a caring and loving God.

When I give these situations to God and leave my hands out of it, God will often take hold of the situation and turn it for good.  But the key is that I need to submit to my husband and let him lead ... and I need to give the situation to God to handle.  Maybe I am wrong.  Maybe he is wrong.  I need to leave it in God's hands.

So - where in your life do you see the word 'submission'?  Do you find yourself submitting to your husband but being angry about it and constantly 'discussing' it?  Do you find yourself submitting to your wife and just letting her deal with everything?

Why not do something 'new' - and the husband submit to God and the woman submit to her husband?  If the husband does what God says, then the wife willingly submits to the husband (that is the key), and together their family is blessed by God.

Something to think about.  

Blessings!

I accepted the challenge.....

 to drink a gallon of water a day.  Yep.  And I succeeded on day one.  Which was yesterday.  I managed to get it all down, and I didn't feel waterlogged at all.  Today may be a different story.  Drinking water is good for you.  In fact, if you can drink a gallon of water a day, it really is good for you for it keeps your body hydrated well... and things flowing. :-)   What is this challenge?  One of the groups I am in on Facebook put it out there in a 'women's group' to do a challenge.  There were a few 'add-ons' that I choose not to commit to.  Things I SHOULD commit to - like walking 30 minutes a day.  I really need to commit to that  - but when I saw it I told myself 'naw, you don't want to commit' so I didn't.  Yes, I will admit it.  I want to walk 30 minutes a day - but some days I am just lazy.  Some days I do walk 30 minutes a day.  Some days I can jump on my treadmill and 'get it done'.  But now my excuse is that if I don't get out in the garage in the mornings when I take a break, the afternoons get too hot to be walking inside an enclosed garage on the treadmill.  I just need to kick my butt into gear and 'just do it'.  

I took an ibuprofen last night as I went to bed - and I slept very well all night - as far as I know, for I haven't checked my Fitbit yet to see if I DID sleep well.  I say I slept well because I had a lot of difficulty staying awake this morning.  Every time I closed my eyes to pray.... I'd fall asleep for a little bit again.  Now I'm disappointed I didn't get all the reading done I wanted to this morning.  But I did read my Bible and I did read a couple devotions I like to read each morning.  Maybe I just haven't gotten completely into my routine yet from being out of it for a few days.

Have you ever had a stack of books that you want to get to reading (or on your kindle) and you just can't get to them because of everything else you want to do?  That's where I'm at.  I have several books on my kindle I haven't gotten to yet - and yet, being a book lover and loving having the actual book in my hand, I have several books around me that I want to read - or have started in - and just can't get the reading done.  I was hoping to do some reading last night but hubby had the TV on.... and had fallen asleep.  When he does that, there isn't much I can do but crochet for I find it difficult to read when the TV is on.  When he finally woke up and asked if I was watching TV (NO), he turned it off, and I quickly put down the crochet to get a little reading in before bed.  (Maybe that was why I slept so well too.... I was involved in reading a book and not watching action on the TV which sometimes repeats itself in my mind)  I sometimes read a chapter or so of a book here in the mornings - and because I fell asleep, I am not doing that this morning.  My time in here is nearly up and I will need to get dressed, brush the teeth, etc. and get the computer going for work.  

I find it interesting that out of my three children, only one is an avid reader.  My middle child.  He reads much more than I do anymore.  When the 'Left Behind' series was being published, my daughter would read all those, but I doubt if she has found time to read since.  The youngest.... reading never was anything he wanted to do.  And that makes me sad, in a way.  It's a great way to 'escape' when you need to get away.  It's a 'learning tool' when you want to know about a subject.  There is much to be said about reading..... you can let your imagination run wild, if you want.  

I have always loved to read.  When I was growing up I think I read every Grace Livingston Hill book ever published at that time.  I had a set of 4 paperbacks given to me by my in-laws one year for Christmas which I read several times.  I can't remember exactly when.... but I did pass them on to my middle child's daughter .... hoping she would want them because they were mine and how much I loved those books.  She did take them, but I imagine her life has been way too busy to read them.  Maybe sometime she can.  I read other books in high school.  I worked in the school library so I was in 'seventh heaven' as they say, being around the books for one - two hours a day.  I read a lot of Phyllis Whitney books too... can't remember her other pen name.  Other authors escape me as well that I read.  But I always had a love of reading, which I got from my mother.  (which is why we had volumes of Grace Livingston Hill books)

But the book I always love to reach each morning is my Bible.  I don't know how many times I have read it all the way through.  I try to get through it all in a year, but most times it goes a bit longer.  There is no deadline to get through it; I take my time and may read only a chapter or two.  Other times I may sit down and read through an entire book of the Bible.  I learn so much each time I read in it.  My favorite book?  I don't know that I have a 'favorite' book.  Philippians is often my 'go to' book for a quick read when I know I'm limited on time and yet want something substantial to read.  It's only 4 chapters and I can get through it in 20 minutes easily.  Why am I drawn to Philippians when I'm wanting to read something quickly and get through it?  Because it is the book of Joy.

Joy.  How can Philippians be full of Joy when Paul is in prison writing it?  Because he looked beyond his location, beyond his circumstances, to share what is ahead of us.  He tells us that our attitudes should be the same as that as Christ Jesus, (Philippians 2:5-11) who left heaven and came to earth as a man, and did not consider Himself any better than anyone else.  He came to earth ... wait - let me give you the entire scripture.... maybe then you can picture what I'm saying....

Philippians 2:5-11 (NIV)  Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness.  And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death -- even death on a cross!  Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.  

Yeah - that is what makes the difference in life.  When we put this as our attitude, as our perspective on life, everything changes.  I memorized this scripture over 30 years ago and often still repeat it to myself - especially when I am struggling.  I look at the different versions to see if they can speak to me as well as this one does... but because I memorized this one, this is it for me.  If I keep my attitude as Christ's then I can find joy in my life.  Even in the midst of my struggles (which you know I have a lot of) I can find joy when I keep my attitude Christ-like.  And it is hard sometimes.

But finding joy in living is so much better than the opposite, don't you think?  So what is your attitude for today?  What are you choosing for your attitude to be?

I believe I will choose JOY... for it makes life so much better.  Choose Joy.  Watch your attitude change.

Blessings!

It wasn't so bad.....

 When I turned on the computer yesterday morning to see what I needed to do after two work days off - I was mildly surprised.  I only had 95 emails.   I was a little puzzled for the last time I took a couple days off I had double that amount.  Not to be disappointed at the lower number, but I wondered.  Then I remembered I also supported  two other bosses at that time (a total of 4) and now I only have two.... and one just left for vacation and cleared her calendar, and the other is retiring in two weeks and is clearing her calendar.  I think I only had one meeting I had to set up; the rest were to meeting invites to accept or emails from other admins wanting available times for meetings.  All in all, it only took me a couple hours to get through all the emails.   Then I pretty much didn't have much to do the rest of the day.  It sometimes makes me wonder about my job..... with working from home many days I do not have much to get done, while other days I am buried in work.  When in the office, I do a lot of things for other people; at home I don't.  I can see them dissolving this position if they don't replace my big boss who is retiring.  But, I think they will replace her...after all, she is a vice president.

I slept very well last night, I think.  I had less than an hour of 'deep sleep', but over 4 hours of light sleep, and very little REM.... but my sleep score on Fitbit was at 77.  The other night was a 72, I think.  It usually hangs around 77, but I just feel that I slept better.  Plus the fact I turned off my Fitbit alarm for 4AM and didn't wake up until it went off at nearly 4:30AM.  I could have slept longer, but when I don't get quality and quanity time with God each morning, I feel deprived.  That is what gets me up every morning.  I love my morning times with God.  

I was sitting out in the courtyard last night with Sheeba when our new neighbors a couple doors down walked by and waved.  We chatted for a few minutes before they went on.  I probably should have gotten up out of the chair and gone to the sidewalk to chat (I thought later), but I was on the phone with my little sister and we were doing our lesson on Elijah together so I stayed in my chair.  I also thought I need to make some cranberry pumpkin nut bread and take down to them and properly introduce ourselves.  Maybe I can do that this weekend.  The couple said they were from Illinois.  Many people are surprised when we say we lived in Phoenix and moved here.  Many are from out of state who moved here for our weather.  Most stay only through the winter months so if they just moved here last week, perhaps they are here full time.  Either way, we need to make the trip down about 2-3 houses and meet them.  They seemed 'young'... perhaps late 50's?  I'm a terrible guesser of age... they have to be 55 to get in this area.... but they didn't look 'old'.  It sure makes me feel a lot older when I see the 'younger' people move in here.

Got our photos printed yesterday of our Jailbreak Getaway.  I always get 3 copies and we each have special albums to put the photos in every year.  This year's photos will probably finish filling up this album and we will have to get another for next year.  I think 99% of the photos are of the great granddaughter.  There is one that is just adorable.  We had given her a string green bean and she was chowing down on it with it buried in her little fist.  But at the moment the camera snapped, her fingers were open, yet almost together, and her eyes were shut - and she looked like she was praying.  So cute!  I also printed a couple other photos that I wanted a print of.  I want to get a frame for one of them - it's of another great-granddaughter that I thought was adorable. :-)  The photo; the great-granddaughter IS adorable!

I'm learning a lot about Elijah in this Bible study I'm doing.  And I'm just in the second week of it.  In it I am reminded of God's provision.  He told Elijah to 'go there' to Cherith, to the brook.  When Elijah did what God told him to do, God provided for his every need.  The ravens brought him food to eat and he had water by the brook.  But what if Elijah had decided he didn't want to live by the brook?  What if he decided he wanted to go to another city to live?  I think if he had, God could not have used him the way He did.  When we are obedient to God, and follow what He tells us to do (via the Bible, via preaching, via reading, via hearing His voice), He will always provide what we need at that time.  It's when we choose to go our own way intentionally that we may lose what God has for us.

Sometimes God tells us to 'go there'.  He may tell us to leave a place and go to another.  He will never tell us to leave our spouse or children, but He may tell us to do what is good for them.  That was a general statement in our workbook for day one of this week.  It asked the question 'has God ever impressed on you to leave something.'...... and you did ... or didn't.   I had to think on that one for a few minutes.  And I realized that yes, God has impressed it on us.  When we left the church we had attended for over 30 years.  That was so hard because I had felt for nearly two years we were to leave, and I didn't want to.  We have a lot of friends who still attend church there.  My daughter in law and grandchildren went there (and that is usually when I saw them - briefly on Sundays).  I didn't want to leave.  But God kept letting me know we needed to go to another place; we just didn't know where.  I discussed it with hubby and he also had felt we needed to leave.  It was so hard to make that decision.  So hard to be obedient.

Sometimes following God's lead isn't easy.  We left that church and went to another where we knew the pastor.  We felt welcomed in this very small church (compared to where we had been).  But something always felt missing.  We began to question if that is where we were to be.  But we didn't know how to leave; where would we go?  We stayed nearly 3 years when COVID hit and we were watching services on the computer each week.  After a year of staying home, and also moving to a location further away, we made the decision of not going back there.  But what to do?  We decided to go to another church of our 'non-denomination', but we just couldn't feel the connection - even with thinking we could take our granddaughter and get her in church.  It just didn't feel right.  It doesn't seem we are to go there.  Still in limbo.  Where did God want us to go?

We want to go to a church where we can become involved - not as pastors per-say - but involved in learning and with other people.  I don't usually share much about who I am for I want to be known for myself, and not not what 'title' I can use.  We have pretty much decided to try this big church we have gone to some in the past.  The reason?  We can go on Saturday night, and they have small groups all over the city.  I've looked up several in our area - but I don't want to go to a small group with a lot of OLDER people.  I want to be in a small group with a mixture of ages - you know, even 50's and up so that we don't begin to take on the traits of OLD people.  LOL  You know what I mean!  I struggle with this daily since hubby is 84 now.  When did he get so old!  The sad part is, he reminds me more and more of my step-father.  But he is more involved in others than my step-father was... but when he is at home... oh well.

A new journey isn't always fun.  I keep telling myself I would get more involved in things if I wasn't having to work.  I'm not sure how much hubby would let me for he likes keeping me close where he can keep an eye on me.  But I would like to DO something.  Perhaps God is keeping me working for 'such a time as this'.  He is providing in ways that we haven't felt provided for before.  I would like to retire, yes, but why?  We don't have the income to travel like many couples do.  I am not a big fan of shopping - especially since I had to get rid of so much when we moved in here.  I could sew or crochet more - but then I'm still just sittting at home.  Hubby has his men's meetings each week.... and he'd let me go to a women's group, BUT, I honestly haven't heard of any.  And right now with work I couldn't go anyway.  But I could start my own, I guess.  Something to think and pray about.

So what has God been impressing upon you?  Has He put a feeling within you that you need to 'leave' something?  Sometimes it is friends who aren't a good influence on us.  Or it's a church that you leave more discouraged than encouraged.  Or it could be a job that you need to leave and move to another.  Or it could be where you live; that you need to let go of the past and move to a fresh start.  What is it that God is asking YOU to do?  That would bring us to the question....

If God tells you to leave something..... would you obey Him?

Think about it.   If He leads you to it; He will lead you throught it.

Blessings!

Home.....getting back to 'normal'

 We took our time yesterday morning to clean up and pack up before heading back home.  We had baby toys all over the front room, we had groceries in the refrigerator, some boxes of snacks sitting on the long table.  Still, it didn't take us long to get things put back in place and for us to get our suitcases repacked to head home.  We left around 10:30AM, I think, to head back.  We were in no hurry.  

We stopped in Rock Springs for lunch.... and pie....  Yep.  They make very good pies.  I thought of my middle child when I ordered lunch.  For some unknown reason, what sounded good to me from the menu, was a meatloaf sandwich.  So that is what I ordered - and it was way too big for me.  The grilled Texas bread was already huge and add about a 1-1/2 inch slice of meatloaf to it.  With tomatoes, pickles, onions.  It was good, but I did good to eat 1/2 of it.  Sent the other half home with the granddaughter for her hubby. We opted out of pie for lunch, but bought pie to take home.  My daughter and granddaughter both bought whole pies, but I only bought 3 pieces to try - and spent almost as much for the three pieces as they did for an entire pie!  But I also knew we did not need pie.  I overate and indulged way too much on the getaway to where I didn't want to get on the scale to see how badly.  

We went straight to my daughter's house to simplify getting things out of the back of the car, rather than her taking me home first.  I called hubby to come get me shortly after the granddaughter headed back home with baby.   Once hubby arrived and we packed my things in the car, we headed home.  Sheeba was glad to see me, but didn't 'over-react'.  She wanted to jump on me once I sat down, but didn't when I told her no.  But ignored me when it was time to go to bed!  I had put down my crochet (yes, that was our usual evening; hubby asleep in his chair with the TV going and me sitting there crocheting) and hubby was trying to get Sheeba to go to bed.  She headed to her crate, then turned around to come jump up across my lap for her usual petting and loving.  I gave her some for a few minutes then turned her head to me and just said, "Sheeba, time for bed" and she got up and walked over to her bed to sleep.

I wonder if that is what we do to God a lot of times.  We want His attention of blessings, but He wants us to be obedient first.  We want to do our thing...AND get His blessings.   Sometimes I think we do our own thing, but when we feel alone, or things don't work out quite like we think they should, or we need something, we tend to run to God to do His magic for us.  We want His attention to attend to what we want done.  And sometimes He tells us to 'go to bed' as hubby was doing with Sheeba last night, but not giving her any attention.  And sometimes, He will let us crawl up in His lap for attention, then tell us to 'go to bed'.  And we willingly go, because we got what we wanted.  Attention.

The past few days have been a lot of fun and love and bonding between us four on the getaway, but I think we were all ready to go home come the 4th day.  Because of being away and other things, like not sleeping well (and I didn't sleep well last night either - hubby wouldn't move to his side of the bed so I had only about a two foot sleeping space for most of the night), and being so sleepy in the mornings; trying to wake up only to find baby has awakened the others very early as well.  Our day usually started with baby waking up.  I didn't get as much quiet time in as I usually do.  And that is ok.  I didn't shut God out; I did spend some time with Him, just not as much as I do here at home.

And things are pretty much back to normal.  I'm unpacked and things put away.  The evening was quiet and we went to bed around 9PM.  Up early this morning and hubby has gone to a Bible study he sometimes attends on Wednesday mornings at 5:30AM and I finish up what I do.  I didn't take my Bible study of Elijah with me because I knew I wouldn't make time to get it done so now I have three days to work on tonight.  And that's ok.  It's at my own pace and I don't have to get it all done this week.  It's a great study and I don't want to rush through it anyway.

In my Bible reading this morning (I am reading in I Kings) I ended with I Kings 17 in which Elijah comes on the scene.  Now I'm in tune with my Bible study anyway!  Coincidence?  Maybe... or... on purpose...

I am back to work today and am dreading turning on the computer to check messages.  My favorite boss has left for her vacation back east so I am sure that I have several things from her to do.  Plus my big boss has been back to work for a week for I'm sure I have a lot from her as well.  The last time I took a couple days off work I had 159 messages.  I've been gone a bit longer so can just imagine what is ahead of me.  Oh well!  I will work through it all.  Only three days of work this week and then we are off on Monday!  Hope you are too.

Silence is what fills my room at the moment.  Well, except for the clicking of the keys on the keyboard.  My time with God.  It's the one thing that gets me up every morning, the one thing that I look forward to with being with my Heavenly Father.  It's OUR time together.  I love it when He meets me here and I can feel His Presence.   Excuse me.  I think I need to be quiet as well.... a bit of time before work, before taking Sheeba out, before the day begins.... and I want to just sit with my Heavenly Father.  I have a lot to thank Him for.

Blessings!

What is it, son?

 About 3:15AM this morning I was in a deep sleep.  I was, for some reason, having this dream about seeing an old friend and her telling me to pray for her husband.  He had been diagnosed with cancer.   All of a sudden I hear "MOM!" and it was middle child.  I woke up and tried to figure out what that was all about and decided to just start praying.  I'm hoping he was in bed asleep, but I never know  So I've spent the last couple hours praying for each of my children, but especially the middle one since he woke me so early.  I have dozed off and on since then, and could have really gone back to sleep, but it's about the time the others awake so just got up.   I'll have to text the son later this morning to ask if he is ok.

What is also weird about the dream I was having, is that this couple live in another state.  We never talk, we've never met socially.  In fact, he was a former pastor.  We were never close to them.  But in this dream, we were someplace and they were there and I went over to speak to her.  She pulled me aside and said "please pray for ...., he has cancer."   I asked what kind, and she said pancreatic cancer.  Now I know nothing about this couple so it was really weird.  I could check and find out.  I just don't want to scare them with a dream that I have no idea why I dreamed.  I can casually find out how they are doing.  It was just a weird thing and then just as she said that I got the 'MOM' scream in my dream.

Today is our pack-up and leave day.  We've had a great time, I think.  Yesterday we went hiking - maybe 1/2 mile - around Bell Rock, but it was starting to go up with having to step on large rocks - and with the baby securely wrapped around my granddaughter's waist, we decided, naw, we would walk back the way we came.  We hadn't brought hats or hiking shoes either so we weren't prepared at all.  We've decided that from now on we need to pack for anything and everything.

We did go out for dinner last night at a place in the center of the tourist trap strip in town and ate at a place called Cowboy Corral, I think it was.  Cowboy something.  It was very casual 'dining'.  They seated us off to the side and even brought a high chair for the baby.  Food was excellent.  A little pricey in my book, but hey, we are on vacation, and it is a tourist strip.  It was worth it.  Daughter and granddaughter split a 'cowboy up' hamburger that was about 4 inches high  I think the hamburger alone was and inch and a half!  They both said it was very good.  I ordered the half slab of ribs and then with it came beans and coleslaw.  It was pretty good, and I'm glad I shared one rib with each of the girls - I don't think I could have eaten it all.  Didn't eat much of the side dishes; was so full.

We were up later than usual (after 10PM!) because we got started on a skip bo game and then it became the game that wouldn't end!  I was even asking God to let one of them win so that we could go to bed!  None of us wanted to quit without a winner (well, perhaps the granddaughter did, but we decided we all needed to finish it.).  I finally won the game and off we all went to bed!  With all the fresh air we had gotten yesterday, it didn't take us long to fall asleep.

We have things throughout the entire house so it may take awhile for us to get everything put in the suitcases.  Glad there isn't a rush to get out like there is at a hotel.  I mean, we do have a time range that we need to leave, and we will be packed and out in good time, but there isn't a big rush.  We have had a good time, I think.  The weather has been great and nice to get out and sit in without too much worry about sunburn - except for the baby, of course.  

Speaking of baby, I hear her voice so know she is awake and mom and grandma are probably laying in bed playing with her.  I've tried to be very quiet this morning cause I didn't want to wake any of them.  The baby is such a happy baby that she hasn't been grumpy at all while we have been here.  I'm really glad we had this time together for it gave the baby a chance to get to know her Oma.  She gives the cutest little smiles.

Part of me will be glad to get back home and back into my routine.  I've missed my usual quiet time.  I've had some, but it hasn't been the quality I have when I can go into my room and shut the door.  Hubby brings me my coffee and I'm alone for a couple hours.  Here I've been waking about 1/2 hour before baby does - and then the day starts - and I have to make my own coffee!!  

I've really enjoyed our Jailbreak Getaway together.  We haven't decided where we will be going next year.....and have plenty of time to figure something out.  Generally have to stay in-state as hubby won't let me go out of state.  Would love to go to these cabins my nephew's friend used to manage in Tennessee.  They are beautiful and from what I've found, prices are good too.  That would be a fun getaway.

Tomorrow I'm back to work, as is my daughter.  I've been able to relax and eat way too much chocolate!  I've eaten enough chocolate (yes, I fell off my good meal eating plan) to last me for a long time.  And junk food.  I know better than buy it cause I can't stay out of it.  But I bought it anyway.  The one thing I didn't buy was my limon chips... I wouldn't have shared that bag.  Yes, I would have, but not much.  They are addicting!  But I did buy a box of Cheez-its.  To each his own.

I'm glad that God doesn't time me when I spend time with Him, but just waits patiently for me to come sit with Him for a spell.   He's still waiting for some of you to come sit with Him a spell too.  These past few days I haven't stayed as long, so am looking forward to spending my full time tomorrow morning.  It is a great way to start the day.

Try it.  Right where you are.  Jesus is your friend, and He is just waiting for you to visit Him.  

Have a blessed day!

Ugh! Didn't sleep well last night...

 I changed beds last night because I didn't sleep that well out in what is called the 'sunroom' our first night here.  It is a room with three walls of windows.  It gets hot in the afternoons, and cold at night. And you hear every unfamiliar noise outside.  Last night my daughter moved to the king bed with the granddaughter and great granddaughter so that I could move in the middle of the house in the twin bed she had the first night.

I slept worse, I think.  I kept waking up because the bed is not comfortable AT ALL.  It feels like a spring mattress and it's getting well worn.  I did toss and turn most of the night and just could not wake up this morning as early as I wanted.  The others weren't up, so why should I be, right?  I did get up a bit ago and, I admit, briefly had a quiet time and now am writing in here while the coffee is brewing.  Yes, I need coffee this morning. I am so out of my morning routine!

But we are having a great time and although we haven't been able to do a lot of things, have enjoyed what we have done.  I'm nearly finished with a blanket I'm putting back for a Christmas gift.  We watched a nice 'chick flick'.  Had subway for lunch.  We went to a small town nearby and bought some pizza for dinner last night (note to self: don't buy the self-rising crust!  As much as I love bread... that was just too much for me with a pizza!  Bought a few other things - mainly little outfits (a little bigger) for the baby.   Our baby has been so good and enjoying our Jailbreak Getaway too.  She's definitely gotten spoiled (although I don't know how that is possible!) and we are enjoying playing with her.  She is a very happy baby all day long.

We've played Left Right Center, Skip Bo, and Kings in the Corner - both of which I had to be taught.  It's been fun, for sure.  I even win - since the one who doesn't know how to play starts out by winning.  I hope I can remember how to play later!  I don't usually play games so this has been fun.

Here we sit around the long kitchen table this morning with our cups of coffee.  My daughter didn't hear specifically my question as to having coffee as she didn't have her hearing aids in.  Or pehaps I didn't hear her correctly that she didn't want coffee.  Regardless, she got coffee this morning and now she has doctored it up with cream and sugar.   I think my daughter needs more coffee.  UN-doctored.  She just said we are going hiking today.  She has been our guide - as she always is.

I am grateful to God that we have had this time together.  We've had beautiful weather and although a few times a bit windy, the sun is shining and it is nice and warm in the daytime.  We even ate lunch outside on the patio yesterday.  Sure can't do that back home very well!

Breakfast is nearly ready - daughter is taking care of that this morning.  I think I'll sit back and finish my coffee.  Maybe even have a second cup.  It's a beautiful morning.

Have a blessed day!

Good morning!

The coffee is brewing and the mice are stirring.  As I typed that statement the rest of the Jailbreakers made their way into my room.  I got the coffee going and it's now done.... and the four of us are still sitting here in my room; 3 laying across the bed, and me in the chair.  I'm bundled up in my blanket and shawl as with windows on three walls and two skylights in my room, it's a bit chilly!  And we were all up about 5:30AM!  The baby is very happy in the mornings and is all smiles and making noises.  

We haven't made a firm decision yet as to what we are going to do today.... I'm hoping to get Jentezen Franklin on at 8AM so we can have a church service.  In the meantime, I think, when I finish this, I will make some cinnamon rolls and we can have those with our coffee this morning.  Yum. Yum.

We had a great trip up - took our time and stopped for breakfast along the way.  I had brought chicken and vegetables up so we had that for dinner last night.  We'll make a run to the store later to get food for the rest of the weekend.  Oh.  We also got chocolate to get us through.

I'm glad I'm used to getting up early - my mind woke up at its usual time.... and I tried to go back to sleep but couldn't.  Glad I got up for it was about 1/2 hour later everyone else made their way in.  I was able to have some quiet time...didn't get much reading done, but that's ok.  Making precious memories is more important than making sure I get my reading done.  

I learned how to play Skipbo last night.  I hadn't played it before but we had a good time.... and I won. :-)  

The baby has been so good.  She's been smiling alot - of course she has three women who are at her beck and call.  Why not smile?  I find it amusing that she will just stare at me and follow me about the room.  Not sure why - guess because this is the most I have ever been around her.  She's probably wondering 'who is that?'!

They've all left the room and I am once again alone.  As I stare out the window into the back yard, I'm wishing it was a bit warmer outside..it would be perfect to go out and curl up on the swing.  Yesterday it was exttremely windy; hopefully it won't be that bad today.  We are up quite aways to where we have a few of some of the rock.  Not sure what that first one is...Bell rock, I think.

What are you doing to make / leave special memories with those your love?   Why don't you plan something special  -  soon - that if something should happen before you are unable to do it, you would leave your loved ones with that special time you did.... what? .... together.   What would you want to do together?  Maybe it's a special road trip where you did something that they wanted to do.  Maybe it is just hanging out together watching movies and eating pizza.  Quality time.  Think about it.  It is a precious time.

God has given us this opportunity to make special memories together.  Memories that can last a lifetime.  I'm counting on it.

Life is short.  Make it count.

Blessings!

The day has dawned.....

and I am ready, so ready, for a trip out of town with my daughter, granddaughter, and great granddaughter.  So looking forward to getting away.  Just remembered I want to throw a game in the suitcaase so we can do something other than crochet or knit while there.  I'm taking both crochet and knitting projects I have started.  I like changing things around if I get tired of working on one thing.  

I just spent a half hour typing things on it here and then just deleted them.  I'm tryng to get past the rambling part... but here I go again.  So just bear with me a bit.  

Suitcase is nearly packed.  Bought a few groceries last night before I really thought I had no idea what the others would want.  Decided we should stop on our way out of town to pick up snacks.  Yes, I'm putting my 'diet' on the back burner this weekend.  Not that we ever eat real bad, but I want to be able to eat without guilt or struggle with should I or shouldn't I.    I.Love.Food.  And it loves me.  That's why it sticks to me like glue.  I can always 'restart' when I return.

I definitely need to restart on my workouts for the past couple of weeks I haven't done much of anything - not even my weights.  It's hard to workout when you have someone watching you all the time.  And it's hard to workout when I'm ... well.. we all have our excuses, don't we?  I'll hush.

I've worked this out pretty well, I think.  I go back to work on Wednesday next week - and work Wed-Thurs-Fri and then I have the weekend AND Memorial day off.  It wasn't necessarily planned that way... it just fitted our schedule (for us three girls) better to get this time off.  Our sixth year...  I'm glad we have continued to do them.  And I hope we can continue for years to come.  I've told them both  that I want them to continue doing them after I can no longer go.  Women need space too; they need to have their time without family responsibilities too.

Even Jesus took naps.  I have heard that saying quite a bit lately, and even I have used that saying.  Jesus took naps so it's ok that I take a nap.  When I have gone on a retreat alone, the first thing I always do is lay down and take a nap.  I love naps.  Especially when I can sleep perhaps 15 minutes to 30 minutes.  Enough to rest and clear the head.  Any nap longer than that leaves me groggy - and I have been known to nap an hour and wake up so groggy I can't stay awake.

Jesus also went away by Himself to spend time with His Father.  Usually early in the mornings, before anyone else was awake.  And that's why I get up so early as well.  I leave hubby in bed and come get in my chair in the mornings.  I want to spend time with my Heavenly Father.  Yes, sometimes I fall back to sleep, but I always like to imagine I'm sitting in my Father's lap.  Just like we want our little ones to snuggle up in our laps and feel safe and secure.

This trip will have lots of laughter in it.  We always find something to laugh about.  It's like the shedding of heavy emotions when you laugh.  The burdens that have been laying on your shoulders roll away.  Sometimes it takes a lot of laughter for that.  I really look forward to these trips - although I have been told I really snore loud.... sigh.... and am so conscious of it that I am grateful we have an airbnb so I have my own room.  We shared hotel rooms before.  Perhaps now I can really sleep without fear of keeping others awake.

Hubby has made a comment lately that he hasn't heard me snoring as much.  Or as loud.  I think it is because his hearing is getting worse and his hearing aids are in the case in the bathroom.  LOL  A doctor once told me that if I lost weight I would not snore.  I hold on to that belief, but I also don't believe it's true entirely.  And besides.... you should hear Sheeba snore!  It's hysterical!

My coffee cup is empty and it's nearly 6:30AM so guess I'll stop so that I can get this in the suitcase (just in case I have an opportunity to write).  I enjoy putting my thoughts on here each morning.... whether they get read or not.  

Pray for us that we will have a safe journey... and good times... and make precious memories.  Some day that will be all there is.  

And plan your own getaway.  You need it. And it will refresh your soul.

Blessings.

And just what I said I couldn't.....

 we are.  I commented yesterday that I didn't like to go to breakfast during the week when I have to work at 7AM.  But we are.  Today.  And you know what..... I'm ok with it.  I'll jump on the computer when I finish this and send my boss a note that I'll make up my time by working through lunch.  Or I can just work to my normal time.  I was going to take off at 2PM today to make a trip to the store before everyone goes for the weekend.  

Why am I / we going to breakfast this morning?  Because a grandson stopped by yesterday morning to work on a few things here at the house that needed to be done..... and he asked us to breakfast this morning.  Why did he ask?  Because it will be one of the last times we see him for awhile.  Probably the last time we will get to have a meal with him for awhile.  Yes, the next couple of weeks for him is going to be very busy.... including a trip out of state to check on a house to live in.  He is moving out in to the world to begin his own life.  I WANT to go to breakfast because I don't know when we will be able to have some time with him without everyone else around.  I get it.  His mom cancelled our get together last Tuesday night because she wants as much time with him as she can - without interruptions.  So I will soon jump up and get dressed and ready to meet at a restaurant by 7AM this morning.  I love spending time with my grandchildren and will make every effort to do so when they are available to me. 

Today would have been my biggest brother's (Sam) birthday - I think it would have been his 80th.  It seems odd that I should have a sibling that would be that old.  And I'm often reminded that I, too, am moving up on the numbers.  In fact, I frequently have thought about my life, and the few years that I am left with.  I think that actually started when I turned 70.... and now here I am ready to turn 72 in a few months.  I often look back on my life and wonder what have I accomplished..... and I actually believe I did accomplish some things.  But - will not elaborate on it now.... will give me something to talk about another time when I'm out of things to talk about.  I miss my big brother.  I especially miss him in May for he had started coming out to visit a couple weeks before his birthday.  It was our time together.  He would always tell me I was his favorite sister... although I don't know why specifically.  Perhaps it is because I had moved away and he didn't see me often.  But he even would write me letters sometimes.  I still have some of those.  They would mean nothing to anyone else, but they mean the world to me.  He also got me to start calling him Sammy.  I believe I know why..... but that is between he and I.

Tomorrow.  One more day.  I am so ready.  Well, mentally I'm ready.  I have the suitcase on the bed and a few tops laid out.  That's about it.  But tomorrow.... it's time to go on our Jailbreak Getaway.   Even though I will be with others, they respect my space and I'm looking forward to getting away.  I'll finish up my packing in the morning with toiletries, etc., but will get most everything else packed today.  

I was reading in Malachi this morning in my Bible.  I still remember when I read chapter 3 about robbing God for the first time. It was only then I made the commitment to every week give my tithe to the Lord.  I mean, we did give a tithe, but it was infrequent and it wasn't always the 10% that God commanded us to give Him.  I mean - 10% to God, and 90% for us.  That sounds like good equations, right?  I remember a story once told about a couple we know who had a business.  It struggled in the beginning but the wife insisted on tithing 10% every week.  The husband was agreeable with it.  Afterall, it wasn't a lot when you are just getting your business going.  A few years later the business was going very well and the husband happened to see the size of the check the wife was writing to the church.  It was still 10% but it was in the thousands now, versus hundreds.  That made a big difference and he didn't want to give that much.  The wife suggested they go talk with the pastor about it - and the husband agreed.  After discussing with the pastor his reluctance to give so much money out of his business, the pastor gave a very wise comment.  He said, "No problem, Ron, I will pray that God will take your business back to where your 10% was only a little bit so that you will feel better about your 10% to the Lord."  Ron immediately said, "I get it.  No, don't pray that..... we'll give the 10% of what we make now."  Now that isn't word for word, but I know this couple and I laugh every time I think of it.

What if our 10% was only a few dollars?  What if our 10% should be several hundred dollars?  It doesn't matter - that 10% will always belong to the Lord.  He gets our offering first.  Why?  Because if we don't take it off the top, we will find other things to take the money away.  God says to 'test Me in this'.... what does that mean?  Give to the Lord and you will receive His blessings because you have put Him first.

Malachi 3:8-12  "Will a man rob God? Yet you rob me.  But you ask, 'How do we rob you?'  "In tithes and offerings.  You are under a curse - the whole nation of you - because you are robbing me.  Bring the whole title into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house.  Test me in this, says the Lord Almighty, and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing thta you will not have room enough for it.  I will prevent pests from devouring your crops, and the vines in your fields will not cast their fruit," says the Lord Almighty.  "Then all the nations will call you blessed, for yours will be a delightful land," says the Lord Almighty.

I don't know about you, but I prefer to cheerfully give the Lord 10% of what I earn so that I can receive His blessings!  I believe many people, and even our nation, have forgotten God today.  They not only rob Him, they ignore Him.  They have forgotten all the blessings He has given us individually, and as a nation.  

When you give what little you have.... God will turn that into bigger blessings.  I have seen His hand upon our finances time and again over the years.  Seasons of drought that drove me to my knees in tears and despair, crying out for favor.  And He answered then, and He continues to answer now.  His blessings are more than we deserve.  He loves us.

And our Lord loves you.  Sit back and think about all the things that you have been blessed with.  If it is good, you have been blessed, so don't sit back and think I've done this all on my own, cause you haven't.  Take a moment and just thank God for what He has done for you.  You have a spouse?  Thank Him for them.  You have children?  Again, thank Him for each one.  

You are truly blessed - whether it is financially, or with family.  What is your treasure?

Blessings!

Not sure which it is.... them or me!

 I got corrected yesterday.  I mentioned in my ramblings that the youngest grandchild was 16.  Since I don't see them often (my reason!) and the fact that they are so tall (much taller than me!), I don't realize that the youngest grandson will actually be 14 this year (I think!).  Another grandson I thought was 16 already, just turned 15 in February.  (At least I got the month right!)  It has been happening for a few years now.  

I can't keep track of how old everyone is.  I do good to remember birthdays - and I do, as a rule.  But ages seem to escape me most times.   Surely it isn't my mental capacity that causes me to forget how old each one is - but instead is because I don't see them often - right?  Please tell me that's right!  At least I remember the years my children were born - or at least perhaps I should say 'thank goodness I remember what year each child was born' cause many times when I try to figure out how old they are, I have to subtract their birth year from the current year to figure it out!  Dang!  When did they get so old?

This year will also be 20 years - October 5 - of when my daughter received her bone marrow transplant.  I am so grateful God let her live.  So many prayers were offered up for her by so many people.  My faith was tested and remained firm in the One who heals.

Yesterday I started the day out somewhat overwhelmed with having to start rolling on things for my boss who is retiring June 11th.  Lists had to be made; invites for a 'virtual' party had to be sent out; a creative notice had to be put together and emailed out to a bunch of people.... but thanks to God for keeping me focused and on track, I was able to get those things accomplished to where all I have left to pull together is order a huge bouquet of flowers to be delivered to her home on June 9th.  Nope, that isn't the last thing.  UGH.  Just remembered.  There are several who want to donate towards a gift card for her - and so of course - where does them oney get funnelled to?  Me.  I started receiving $$ throughout the day yesterday via Zelle and Venmo to my account.  I'm having to track to keep it separate from my personal cash, which really isn't too hard.  I'm writing it down as I get notice, and I keep the notice so that I can double check.  I'm not going gift hunting, that is for sure!  I know she and her hubby want to travel once she retires so am going to purchase Visa gift card(s) with the money for her to use for their travels.  Either that or I will just hand her the cash.  

Hubby asked me last night about taking me to breakfast this morning.  Although I really don't like to go to breakfast when I am working since I start at 7AM and most places don't open until 6AM, I agreed to go this morning.  I know he will miss me when I'm away for the weekend so I'm trying to be nice about going.  This morning he interrupts my reading to discuss going out to breakfast, my taking off early tomorrow to finish pulling things together for my trip, although I'm not going until Saturday.  He had to discuss it.  This morning. While I'm doing my quiet time.  Sigh.  I get no respect.  I finally told him that I would really rather do an early lunch than go to breakfast while I'm working.  So we will do lunch today instead.  He left to make my coffee and bring to me, asking another question or two before leaving the room.

I don't understand him.  I admit it.  He frustrates the heck out of me.  Sometimes what he does makes no sense to me at all.  His plan for this weekend while I'm off is one of those "what are you thinking?" frustrating, confusing, and aggravating times.  Sigh.  Sometimes it is just easier to let it go.  It irritates me, but I have to let it go.   It's all about him.  

I'm sitting here thinking this is where I need to have a scripture to type here and dwell upon it.  As I paused and thought about what I should write next.... God, in all His glory, in all His beauty, in all of who He is.... brought this scripture to mind.

Philippians 2:14 (NIV)  "Do everything without grumbling or arguing...".   

Why does He do that?  Just when I think my grumbling is justified, He brings scriptures like that to my mind to keep me on track.  Maybe I LIKE to grumble and complain and argue!  No, I really don't, but I sure seem to do a lot of it, don't I!

And so do you.  You only hear a little of the grumbling that goes on in my mind, and in my heart.  Some times all I can do is sit here and shake my head at some things - especially in things that make no sense to me.  We all do it.  You know you do.  Even right now you are probably rolling your eyes at my words.  You have no idea of what I live with, nor do I have any idea of what you live with.  And we both grumble and argue and complain.

And we shouldn't.  Another verse that often comes back to my mind as well.....

I Thessalonians 5:16-18 (NIV) "Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus".

I always tell myself (yes, always) that no matter what my circumstances are, no matter what I am going through, I am to NOT grumble or complain or argue, but I am to be happy, I am to pray always about what is going on, and I am to give thanks for the circumstances, regardless of what they are.  Why?  Because God is in control of all circumstances and it is His will that whatever it is that is going on - He will bring good from it, even when I don't see it.

So the next time your spouse or your child or your coworker or your friend irritates you to the point you want to yell at them, or get upset with them, or rage at them.... remember to weigh just how important it is and if it is worth getting so upset about; is it worth hurting them with your words or actions.  

What if we held back our words, and instead thank God for the things that happen, even when we don't understand?  What if we just tell Him, "Lord, I don't understand why this person frustrates me so, and hurts me, and angers me so, but Your Word says that whatever I do, I should do it without grumbling or arguing, and that I am to pray for them and this situation.  I am to thank You for it because You will bring good out of this situation.  Help me to see Your hand in it.  And if I don't, help me to let it go and not hold on to my own confusion and frustration, but allow You to work in me, and in them.  Thank You for seeing the big picture, Lord.  And thank You that You love us both so much that 'this too shall pass' and it is Your will for us in Christ Jesus, our Lord and Savior.  Amen."

Hsve a blessed day!

It's almost time!

 Only a couple more days and Saturday will be here for our Jailbreak Getaway that I will be going on with my daughter, granddaughter and great-granddaughter.  I know, I know, that seems to be all I have on my mind lately, doesn't it?  I am looking so forward to getting away for a few days and living life again.  Not that I don't now..... but..... being around people YOUNGER than me, causes me to do more things and well, just live a bit more.  Some of you may understand all that rambling.  Some may not.  But - it is what it is.

Got a busy day ahead of me with working on my boss' virtual retirement 'party'.  UGH.  I like simple, but it has exploded into something a bit bigger because of the vice president position she held.  She is pretty important, for sure.  Yesterday a coworker and I put together an 'invite' to send out (my job) to those she worked with closely to see if they want to donate to her retirement gift - which is just going to be a money and /or gift cards.  Using Zelle and Venmo, they are to send the donations to me and then I have to track and keep it out of my checking account - which won't be hard.  An email went out to about 20 people yesterday and I immediately got $50 sent via Zelle.  And so it starts.  Virtual calls, donations, flowers, a trip to pick up equipment, virtual card - all these things I need to get done - mostly scheduled within the next week, if not today.

I just saved you from two paragraphs of rambling of what I need to do.  I typed them out - then decided to delete them.  It reminded me of all I have yet to do.  

Today is Wednesday, hump day.  I haven't looked at my work calendar so am not sure what I need to do today other than what is above.  Some days will fly by and others seem to drag.  Depends on what I have to get done and if I want to do it, and if it can hold my interest.

Yesterday was a grandson's birthday.  I didn't want to call him as he might have been at work.  I text'd him and put something on facebook with the hopes that he would see it.  He did respond last night to my text and said he had had a hectic day at work.  Hopefully we can meet up soon to have a meal together and catch up on what is going on with him.  I'm putting it in his corner as he has the odd work schedules to deal with.  I told him that if possible, I will take off work to meet him for breakfast or lunch if that is when he is available.  We will even drive over near his work if that works for him better.  But - will wait to hear from him and see how his schedule goes.

I was thinking about this young man this morning and I remembered something that I am 99 percent positive it was him that said it..... my mother died back in 2004 and it was after that.  I was picking up the grandchildren and taking them to church on Wednesday nights.  Somehow the conversation went to being asked the question about my mom.  I said she had passed away.  This grandchild, in full confidence and great wisdom said, "but we will see her again in heaven when we die".  Or something like that.  It was just such a profound statement from a young child.   You know it had to be for me to remember it!   

I hope I always will have a memory come to me of my times with the grandchildren.  And I hope that when they are older, they will remember with fondness memories of our times together as well.   My grandchildren are nearly all grown; the youngest being 16.  I don't get to spend as much time with them as I did when they were younger.  I rarely see most of them.  But I did what I could to make memories with them when they were younger and I hope it sticks.

Sitting here and thinking about memories and the ones I have of my grandma and grandpa, my granny - all who were in Tennessee.... the old farm.  Milking the cows on the farm; feeding the chickens. A big fresh glass of milk that was still warm, strained after being milked from the cows.  Breakfasts of fried chicken, ham, mashed potatoes and gravy, homemade biscuits, grits, and for those not wanting a big breakfast there was always cereal.  Fried chicken today is just not the same as it used to be.  I can't even duplicate it.  The old wood stove that my granny and my aunt used to cook off of.  The outhouse down the path.  The swing on the porch and the fishing poles hanging on the rafter above it.  The pond down the road where we used to fish.  Hunting for snails at my grandma's house.  Grandpa was in a slingback chair for as long as I could remember.  He had lost an arm... I forget for sure how... seems like it was an accident of some sort.  Grandma was chunky and short - maybe 5'.  Granny was heavy and probably 5'8" or so. Oh the memories of when I was growing up!  The well on Granny's farm had the sweetest and coldest and clearest water you had ever tasted.  Memories.  I hope you have some as well.

We all make memories every day.  These memories may mean nothing to you at the moment, but in time, something will remind you of them.  And you will be grateful you have them.  Memories are the photo books in our mind.  Some bad, granted, but mostly good.  Choose to focus on the good memories and if you can, write them down so that your children and grandchildren will know what helped shape the man or woman you are today.  

And I'm going to close this up with that.  What memories are you leaving with your children; your grandchildren.  Will they fall on the good memories they remember...?   If asked what do you remember about your parents, your grandparents.... what is something they would remember about you?

More than anything, I hope my children and grandchildren will always remember how much I loved them and prayed for them.  Life happens and things aren't always the best, but I pray they remember how loved they are.

Blessings!

Finishing up day 3....

 I started the Bible study recently on Elijah... I know I've mentioned it before.  I actually started last week although my sister and I said we would start yesterday.  I finished up day 3 today.  Some of the scripture assigned to read and comment on truly reflects what is going on in today's world.  Paul talks about it in Romans 1:18-32.  I know the scripture is long, but please take the time to read it.  Every word.

Romans 1:18-32 (NIV) "The wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of men who suppress the truth by their wickedness, since what may be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them.  For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities - his eternal power and divine nature - have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse.

For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened.  Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools and exchanged the glory for the immortal God for images made to look like mortal man and birds and animals and reptiles.

Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another.  They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator - who is forever praised. Amen.

Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones. In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed indecent acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their perversion.

Furthermore, since they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, he gave them over to a depraved mind, to do what ought not to be done. They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips, slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents; they are senseless, faithless, heartless, ruthless. Although they know God's righteous decree that those who do such things deserve death, they not only continue to do these very things but also approve of those who practice them."

Did you have as much trouble reading those scriptures as I did?  What kept coming to your mind?  I can tell you what came to my mind - the people in political offices now and the 'parades' of indecency and evil that is approved of and promoted by them.  I kept seeing these people and their names come to me because the scriptures above describe them!  And some of it may even describe some of us.

Did you catch the 'God gave them over'? comments in three of the verses?  I highlighted them so that you don't miss it.  Do you realize that God 'let them go' - to do what they had set out to do?  

We see that God made plain to them who He is in so many ways - and yet, because of the depravity, He let them go.   Let them go 'do their own thing'.  That is the world we live in today.

So what are we to do about it?  We are to keep God as our focus; we are to teach our children and our families about God and His goodness to us.  We are to live our lives in such a way that we are set apart from the world.  We are to live such a life that if someone came up to you, they would know immediately WHOSE you are by the way you are living your life.  They wouldn't have to ask you 'are you a Christian'?   Our lives reflect who we are, and who we belong to.

I don't know about you, but those scriptures grieved my heart.  I see all that happening to day and more and more people are being 'uncovered' and 'exposed' for what they thought would be hidden.  It not only happens to people of influence, it happens to us.

We need to pray as though today is the last day of life - for it truly is.  We need to pray that God will continue to uncover agendas and schemes of the dark and expose them to the light.  We need to pray that His people who are leaders to step forward and call out the dark for what it is.  Regardless of what it will cost them.  

We need to do the same.  We need to call out evil for what it is.  We need to expose those things that have been hidden in darkness so deep we hope they are never found.  But what has been hidden, will be exposed.  We need to speak up and call out those things - regardless of what it will cost us.  Friends, relationships, status.... yes, it can cost us.

But then, it cost Jesus everything.  It cost Him His very life.  Who are we that we think we are worthy to hold things back, to hide them?   Our lives are worth nothing unless they are covered by the blood of Jesus.  Only then, when we are covered in His robe of righteousness, are we one of the Redeemed.

Stand up for what is right.  Weigh everything against the Word of God.  Pray for those in leadership, especially the political leadership that we have.  Ask God for breakthrough, that they will see the evil being done, and will stand up for what is good and what is right.  Pray deep, Pray hard.  Pray.

I don't know about you, but I don't want God to 'give me over' to things of this world.  Do you?

Something to think about.

I am intrigued ...

 by a reflection note I read this morning.  The Bible I picked up this morning to do some reading in has some reflections in it periodically.  I was reading I Kings 3 about the dream Solomon had of God asking him .... 

I Kings 3:5-12 (NKJV)  At Gibeon the Lord appeared to Solomon in a dream by night, and God said, "Ask! What shall I give you?"

And Solomon said: "You have shown great mercy to Your servant David my father, because he walked before You in truth, in righteousness, and in uprightness of heart with You; You have continued this great kindness for him, and You have given him a son to sit on his throne, as it is this day.  Now, O Lord my God, You have made Your servant king instead of my father David, but I am a little child; I do not know how to to go out or come in. And Your servant is in the midst of Your people whom You have chosen, a great people, too numerous to be numbered or counted.  Therefore give to Your servant an understanding heart to judge Your people, that I may discern between good and evil.  For who is able to judge this great people of Yours?"

The speech pleased the Lord, that Solomon had asked this thing.  Then God said to him: "Because you have asked this thing, and have not asked long life for yourself, nor have asked riches for yourself, nor have asked the life of your enemies, but have asked for yourself understanding to discern justice, behold, I have done according to your words; see, I have given you a wise and understanding heart, so that there has not been anyone like you before you, nor shall any like you arise after you."

For reflection....

Solomon was the wisest man who ever lived, but he did not start out that way.  In fact, his unusual wisdom was a gift from God in response to an unusual offer.  In this dream in which God tested the 20 year old king's priorities, God said, "Ask! What shall I give you?" Solomon, understandably nervous at the prospect of such an overwhelming assignment at such a young age, replied "A wise and understanding heart." And God supplied beyond compare.

This prayer and God's answer so touched the heart of Lord Melboure of England that when Princess Victoria was proclaimed the Queen of England, Melboure opened his Bible and read I Kings 3 to her on the day of her coronation.  He recognized, as all leaders have, that on the threshold of a great endeavor, there is a great need.

When was the last time you asked God for a wise and understanding heart?   

When we start out on our quest for adulthood, we often think we are so smart, that we know it all.  Or perhaps we don't give ourselves that much thought, but just 'assume' that we can figure it all out.  After all, isn't that what adulthood is?  Being wise and understanding?  

Unfortunately, I have seen many fail in being wise and understanding.  It isn't something we gain on our own, regardless of how much schooling we get, or how important our job is.  Sometimes we just 'do it' because it either feels good or we just want to.  We don't stop and ask God if it is the right thing to do at that time.

Take a moment and think of some of the decisions you've made in the past few days.  The past week. The past month.  The past year.  Don't you wish you had some wisdom BEFORE you had done what you did so that what happened maybe would not have happened?  

What would happen if we each would begin each morning asking God for wisdom and understanding to get us through the day?  What if, before we retorted back to a child, a spouse, a friend or co-worker, that we paused and asked God for understanding of why we want to respond that way; perhaps the root of their comment to you is because they don't feel good, or they are afraid, or are depressed, or are discouraged?  Perhaps they are just wanting attention, to know they matter to you.  If you are wise and know that beforehand, would you respond differently?  It happens to all of us.  How many times have we found out later how much our comment created much more chaos than it should have?  All because we did not have that understanding heart.  We were too busy with our own stuff to give the time and attention to what was before us.

Maybe we all should begin our day with a request to God to give us a wise and understanding heart.  

Lord, we are but children to You, and we seem to be always jumping ahead and doing things because we want to, or because we feel we have to, or because we feel it is the right thing to do.  But what do You think, Lord?  Because, regardless of our age, we are but children to You, we ask that You give us each one a wise and understanding heart.  Guide us in the decision we need to make today; help us to choose wisely.  Clear our minds of our own thoughts, and let us make decisions based on Your Word.  Help us to understand situations that are beyond our control.  Words that would set us off, help us to understand the root of them, Lord, that we don't respond immediately, but quickly ask You to help us understand and respond kindly.  Oh God, we desperately need Your wisdom and Your understanding to guide us!  You see the big picture while we see only in front of us.  Help us, Lord, and lead us in the right way.  Thank You, Father, for Your loving kindness to Your children.  Thank you for being our Heavenly Father, who loves us beyond measure.  I lift up my praise to You, O Lord.  I glorify Your Name, for it is great.  Amen.

May the Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make His face shine upon you, and be gracious to you.  May the Lord turn His face towards you, and give you peace.

Blessings!

Watching movies....romance ones at that!

 I have been seeing movie trailers on facebook for some time now.  Some I've watched, some I've just gone on by.  Some have been on Pure Flix and others on Up Faith and Family.  I started writing down some of the names of these movies cause they looked like what I wanted to watch.

A girl always dreams of romance and love and the happily ever after.  

Night before last I asked hubby to go to Prime Video on the TV and we watched a couple movies we hadn't seen for awhile.  The Jazz Singer with Neil Diamond has always been a favorite cause we both like Neil Diamond songs.  The other movie we watched was Pure Country with George Strait.  I love that movie.  Yes, romance and love, for sure.

Last night I gave in and had hubby subscribe to Up Faith and Family ($4.99/month) so we could watch a movie (or two) I had watched the trailers on.  I was not disappointed.  The first one we watched was 'Finding Normal' about a surgeon who is speeding through the town of Normal and her fine is 3 days of community service.  The second movie we watched was 'The Wedding Redo' (or close to that).  I loved both of those movies - clean, good movies.  Watch them, you (or your spouse) would not be disappointed.  These are 'feel good movies' that tug right where you need to be tugged.  No, it's not all about God and church and all.  They are just good clean movies.

I've started a new Bible study basically 'on my own'.  Priscilla Shirer has a new one out called 'Elijah' and he is one of my favorite prophets.  If I consider myself similar to anyone, it would be Elijah.  He went through all the moods I frequently go through - boldness, strong, completely full of faith, and then there is fear, uncertainty, depression, lack of hope.  Things we all experience at one time or another.  Like Elisha who followed Elijah, I have often asked for a double (and triple!) portion of what God gave Elisha upon Elijah being taken up to heaven.  Remember that story?  Look in I Kings - I think it is chapter 17 that begins talking about Elijah.  No, I haven't looked it up but pulling on memory.

Anyway - I bought the workbook for myself (and for my little sister so that we could do it 'together').  It's always more fun to do things together, and I seemingly don't have anyone in my family who cares to do some of the things I like to do in this respect.  I also bought the tape downloads of the lessons so that we can listen and learn together.  First comment I got was "I like the videos better".  Well, I was tryng to learn and be cost conscious.  It was probably $30 more to buy the videos.  I probably could bet you $10 she will go ahead and buy the videos.  When one gets a mindset..... and sometimes I'm just as bad.  Anyway - I started on week one the other day.  I'm working on day 3 now and it is very mind-provoking.  And we haven't even gotten to Elijah yet!  

For example, as I started reading this morning on this day's lesson, it talks about her 2 year old nephew coming down the stairs with his father holding his hand.  How the father was holding on to his hand so that his feet could navigate the stairs without falling and hurting himself.  But the 2 year old was rebelling.  He wanted to go down the stairs by himself!  When they reached the last step, the father let go of his son's hand to let him 'do it himself'.  And he fell, and was hurt (pride always comes before the fall, right?).  

Isn't that sometimes our relationship with God?  When things are going well, we know that God is answering prayers and watching over us, holding our hands as we navigate through life.  When finances are difficult, He is providing answers on how to get through it.   When we go on trips, He keeps guard over us and our vehicle to take care of us.  When we become weary with life, He lets us know that He is still there, walking with us.

But what do we do in all these circumstances?  We want to do it 'by ourselves'!  We want to let go of His very safe hand and take that step all.by.ourselves.   So what if we are in financial difficulty - let's go out and buy this or that.  It's ok.  We'll manage.  We may get behind on things, but we can afford it and let's just go do that.  Or perhaps instead of staying on the right road to get us to where we want to travel, we decide to take back roads that may be full of potholes and bumpy, but we it will get us there 15 minutes faster so we choose to take that way.  Or what about the times we become despondent about our lives and the way things are going and we feel that no one loves us, no one understands us, no one cares whether we live or die.  Our God is still there with us.  Even though we may not have thought about Him, even though we may have rejected Him throughout our lives, He is still there.

There is no one in this life who is closer to us than Jesus.  His Word says that He will never leave us nor forsake us.  That doesn't mean we should go off and 'do our own thing' and think that when we get into trouble that He will rescue us.  He may - or He just may let you suffer the consequences of what is your downfall.  Sometimes dealing with the consequences of overspending, of going the wrong direction, or even dealing with sadness or depression.  Consequences are not always bad.... but what are the lessons we learn from these things?  Do we just keep doing what we've always done because we feel good doing it and we're in charge of our lives without regard of how it affects others?

Ok- so we bought something we shouldn't and now we have a bill we are having difficulty in paying.  What does that teach you?  Rein in what you spend.  Quit putting yourself in those situations where you WANT something more than you can afford.  Save for it, if you want it that bad.  You've got this.

Ok - we want to go a different route that is more difficult in life than just taking life along the normal route.  Using travel as an example, we sometimes decide to step off the road of comfort because we want what we want and we want it now.  We want to get to a certain place and that has become our focus.  Yeah - I would like to quit work - you have heard me say that often enough.  But the road that I am on is currently a much better road in that it provides the extra things in life that I have always wanted to do.... and couldn't.  If I didn't have my job, our road COULD become very bumpy (and since you know how being sequestered with hubby causes me to go stir-crazy.... it could get very bumpy!).

And lastly, we can become self-centered and focused and begin to feel that when we don't get what we want, when we want it, we will take charge and do it our way.  But in doing so, we drag ourselves down, and everyone who is with us.  We wallow in self-pity because our lives are a struggle.  We whine and moan (hello?  self-talk!) because we can't go somewhere we want to go; we can't quit our jobs; we can't find a job; we don't want a job; we just don't care about anyone or anything but how sad and despondent we feel.  And that self-centered self-pity about how life isn't the way we want it to be... so we overspend, over buy, sequester ourselves in our homes... all because we think we are so unhappy.

Where am I going with all this rambling?  As you can see, I am speaking a lot to myself, but I just may be speaking to many of you.  Where are YOU at in life?

What brings happiness to you, to your soul?  Is it money in the bank and a good meal?  A happy family? Your parents leaving you alone to do your own thing?   What brings you happiness?  Is it bringing a smile to a child?  Hope to a spouse?  Respect for your parents?

Jesus is the answer to all these things.  No, He won't bring you money to help you out of your situation if you aren't putting Him first.  He won't drag you off the pot-hole laden road you've chosen and put you on a good path - if you aren't willing to go.  He can't bring you joy, unless you choose to have joy in your life.

Jesus is the answer.   He has the be FIRST.  He is the ONLY right answer.   I think back over my life and what it could have been..... and I sometimes shudder and thank God for His intervention in my life.  He truly does love each one of us and is always right there to lead us to where He can take care of us.

Are you willing to let Jesus take your hand and lead you to where you need to go?  All you have to do is say 'yes'.  And let Him.

Blessings!