It hit again....

 I was feeling ok yesterday morning.  I was good through the drive up to where my granddaughter was to meet us for the knitting class. As we walked through the food court (arriving a bit before time), my right eye started watering some.  Odd, but I thought I had gotten something in it.  Then the vision started getting weird.  Wasn't sure what to think.  We walked some more, and eventually met up with the granddaughter.  Class was starting and I sat in the back... when the lightening bolts began and my vision was all screwed up.  I couldn't see to help.  I knew I had thrown a packetof tylenol in my bag - but which one.  I searched my purse; not there.  I got my daughter's keys and went to the vehicle, praying that God would help me find them.  He did.  In the bottom of my suitcase, there was the packet.  I opened and took both pills without water.  I didn't care; I inly knew I needed to get them in me.  I was lightheaded and with flashing lightening bolts in both eyes, I wasn't seeing too well either.  Went back into the class and was quiet.  After about 20 minutes, which is the usual, it seems... the visions disappeared and my head cleared, vision restored.   The last 45 minute sor so I felt ok enough that I could hep a couple of the attendees with learning how to do 'cast on'.  But it felt like it drained me and once I got home, I started getting the 'drill' from hubby.... he has to live life through me so wanted to hear every detail... which I didn't feel like talking a lot.  I gave him info about the conference enough to satisfy his curiousity and then I told hubby let's go to dinner at Cracker Barrell - you can get a meal to take home for $6 (like Olive Garden at times) right now - so purchased also a couple meals for luch today.  We didn't talk much, although hubby tried to make me talk.  

After the ballgame, he left the TV off and we sat quietly; me crocheting and him going through his phone.  Finally a little after 8PM I told him I was going to get ready for bed.  He had been asleep in his chair the past 20 minutes, but he said he was listening to his phone with his eyes shut.  Ok.  Whatever.  We were in bed by 8:30PM and I was awake early this morning and got up and tried to go back to sleep in my chair.  I'm feeling foggy somewhat so am undecided on whether to go to church or not.  I know I will be glad I did go to church; I'm just not sure I want to get cleaned up to go to church.  If I stay home, I'm pretty sure hubby will too.  Well, at least I don't have to fix lunch!  Will watch on the computer, I think.  Just don't feel like cleaning up this morning.  Not really an excuse, is it?  I am a bit concerned about the loud music; the 'loud enviornment' comes up on my watch every week.  It came on several times during the Friday night worship time - yeah, it was loud.

I love starting my morings with God; reading my Bible.  I found my CD player and want to find a place to put it in here so that I can play music softly during my quiet time.  Sometimes I just want worship music while I sit and spend time with Jesus.   I really do need to work on this corner; I have books stacked everywhere and I need to put some on the bookcase that I've read or will not be reading for awhile yet.  I can only read so many at a time!  Which reminds me; my sister sent me a book which arrived this weekend called "Pray First"  It has more in the title, but it's in the other room and I can't remember it all.  It's by Chris Hodges and I started to read it last night, but my head was not absorbing any of it so quit.  Maybe this afternoon I will feel like reading it.  I need to send her a thank you note.  I do have my books here I read (other than myBible) which I will grab one after I finish this.  I'm grateful I can stay in here until at least 8AM today but I'm sure hubby will come in around 7-7:30 and ask if I am going to church; are we going to watch Jentezen at 8AM, etc.  He can't do much without me.  He won't bring up the computer for any service; I have to find it.  Sigh.  I just keep praying..... for him and for me.

Ephesians 4:17-24 (NKJV):  "This I say, therefore, and testify in the Lord, that you should no longer walk as the rest of the Gentiles walk, in the futility of their mind, having their understanding darkened, being alienated from the life of God, because of the ignorance that is in them, because of the blindness of their heart; who, being past feeling, have given themselves over to lewdness, to work all uncleanness with greediness.

But you have not so learned Christ, if indeed you have heard Him and have been taught by Him, as the truth is in Jesus: that you put off, concerning your former conduct, the old man which grows corrupt according to the deceitful lusts, and be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and that you put on the new man which was created according to God, in true righteousness and holiness."

When we accept Jesus as Lord, we become new in Him; all the old stuff passes away.  True, we still have to suffer the consequences of what our past has come up with, but the plus is that Jesus will walk through any trial with us.  And trust me, the trial I feel I am in at times now.... I would not still be here if I didn't have Jesus walking with me.  I can do nothing without Him; but I can survive anything with Him.  Make sense?  This morning I thought about some of the things that I have been dealt with over the years... at the hands of those I love dearly.  For one, I have realized that jealousy if the problem.  It took me awhile to realize that; I really thought the problem was me.  But it isn't.  This person is so jealous that I have been able to let go of the past and live in the future..... they will attack me verbally and bring up the past as if it is all my fault.  Bringing up things from 60 years ago. 50 years ago.  Sadly, it isn't the first time.... the first few times I was devastated and worked at trying to make things right.  Now...... I have learned to just step back and leave them alone; let them process.  They need me in their life and will come around again.  I love them, I will always love them.... but I don't have to allow them to speak to me the way they do whenever they are angry about something else entirely; only directing their anger at me.  Oh well... enogh of that.

I no longer walk as the rest of the Gentiles walk.... I choose to walk with Jesus and He will straighten me out when I stray.  He will draw me back close to Him; to keep me focused.  I'm so grateful for that. Thankful for the twinges that may come when I choose wrongly.  Those twinges keep me close to my Savior.

I need to get off here... and try to nap some before making a decision if I'll get dressed and go to church.  I'm feeling very tired right now.  Must not have slept well.

Hope you are doing well... praying you will have a blessed day; a day full of joy and well-being; a day full of God's blessings.  Why?  Because  I asked Him to give them to you.

Blessings!

I am enough...

 My daughter and I attended a great conference last night.  I wasn't sure exactly what the theme was at the time; it was just called the Imagine Conference.  It was put on by the 'state's women's ministry'.  Not affiliated with any specific church, in fact they said that 90 different churches were represented in the 700 women who attended.  The theme seemed to center around the word "Enough".  I am enough.

The speakers were good; even my pastor's wife (who is a pastor as well) gave her testimony.  I had heard her testimony before, and it just made me love her more.   Our last speaker had a strong Australian accent.  At times it was hard to understand her, but her message was loud and clear.  We.are.enough.  We don't have to struggle to be the woman that God created us to be.  He created us in His image.

We are enough. We are loved. We are called. We are chosen. We are His.

We were given simple bracelets that have the I am enough on it in morse code.  Reminded me of when my first hubby and I had a ham radio (and I still know the call letters!) and we would send messages in morse code.  I remember us taking that class together.  I don't remember any of the morse code now, but I do remember the fun we had with it.  And the tallest antenna in town!  Some neighbors didn't like it because we would come through on their TV when we would be on the CB or the Ham radio.  Remember CB's?  I loved mine and had a blast with it.  With I remarried, the CB was promptly removed from my vehicle.  A whole 'nother story!

Overall, my daughter and I had a good time and whew, it did go much later than they had planned - and we didn't get out of there until after 10PM - yep - from 7 - 10PM we had speakers - and they were all great.  The next conference is set in Prescott in September, but I don't think we'll go to that one.  Jailbreak will be taken in September so can't do both.  That one will be on a campground. Uh...no.  

We got back to our room around 11PM and chilled out for a bit before turning lights off and getting to sleep.  And then RUDE people!  3:30AM I hear a door slam!  I forgot where I was and sat up and was going to wake hubby (hoping he could hear me) - but when I opened my eyes, I realized I wasn't home.  Then I just tossed and turned until I finally got up around 6AM (way past my get up time!) and took my shower, washed my hair.  My daughter got up after I was trying to make coffee in the room and heard me bumbling around.  Once she is ready we will head down for our free breakfast.  Our room is nice; it has two queen beds.  It isn't as nice as the king suite we stayed at in Chandler at the last confernece.  Of course a suite versus a standard room.  But this is nice.  We have all we need.  Love they have shampoo, conditioner, and body wash already in containers in the shower. And lotion on the sink.  And a free breakfast.

We will be leaving here around 11AM and heading up north a little ways to help a granddaughter with her knitting class.  She has 4 people in this group - and knitting is neither my daughter's - nor mine - speciality, although we both have knitted things.  We like crocheting because it is much faster.  Uh oh - just got word that our main highway is closed a few miles so we are going to have to find a detour to get up there.  At least we know in advance.  It will be crowded going on that one way road around it.  Uh oh.  Looks like we have a detour but it shouldn't be too crowded coming from here.

Psalm 42:5  (NKJV): "Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him for the help of His countenance."

Hope.  That is what is on the t-shirt that I bought for myself last night.  No matter what comes against me; no matter what trials are ahead of me, my Hope is in God.  I can get through any trial, any sorrow, any triumphs - when I have God on my side.  And He is also on your side.  Sometimes you may feel alone, that no one knows or cares about what you are feeling.  But that is not true.

Even when it feels that family and friends have deserted you, God is always there and He is always ready to help you, to comfort you, to guide you through whatever the next step should be.  Many times we neglect the privilege we have of coming to Him and asking for His help.

Got a special project going on?  Pray and ask Him to help you complete it.  Going on a trip?  Ask Him to put a shield of protection around your vehicle - to keep the engine working and the tires intact; that each one in the car with you will be protected.  That He will set His angels guard over you.  Do you not realize how much our Heavenly Father loves you and wants to show you how much He cares for you?  All you have to do is ask Him!  It's that simple!

Do you not ask your parents if you want something?  Or your spouse?  Or your child?  You do not have to do life alone and by yourself.  You are never alone when God is with you.  Oh how I wish that you knew and understood the joy of loving Him and wanting Him more than anything else in your life!  No matter what the enemy throws at you, no matter how hard life gets; one thing you can be sure of, Jesus will never leave you.  He's always right there.  No.Matter.What.  Just talk to Him, ask Him to be with you.

Always remember that in His eyes.... You.Are.Enough.  You don't have to prove yourself to anyone.  You don't have to be successful.  You don't have to pretend to be someone you are not.  You.Are.Enough.  Hallelujah!

Have an awesome, blessed day - I'm going for breakfast!

Blessings!

Deleting doesn't always remove them...

 Words spoken are still in the bubble.  Words written can be erased, or deleted, but they are always 'out there' whenever they are read.  Especially things put on the internet - though deleted - I hear remain 'out there' forever.  Thinking about that, I realize how frequently I write (erase, erase, erase) when I don't want to have anyone read what I have written.  And I try hard never to send an email when I am angry or upset.  I always try to word what I feel, but do it in a nice way.  I don't want regrets over something that I wrote when I was upset; angry, perhaps.  It doesn't matter how justified I think I am in writing or saying what was said, sometimes no defense is better in order to defuse any situation.  I have a delete button on my computer, and I am going to assume it is on most computers and ipads and phones.  Even if we write out the hateful note, the condemning note, put it in a save file if you must.  But don't send it, and then tell someone to delete it because you changed your mind about sending it.  And don't tell them not to read it; you know they will.  And that's all I'm going to say about that. 

Philippians 2:5-8 (NKJV):  "Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross."

Powerful words.  A reminder, perhaps.  Of what?  To be humble and obedient, to the point of death.  It doesn't matter what words or actions are said at you or to you; how you respond is of upmost importance.   Jealousy of others is an ugly emotion.  Guard yourself. Do you feel hurt?  Give it to God.  Do you feel angry? Give it to God.  Do you feel unworthy?  Give it to God.  Do you feel infuriated?  Give it to God.  Do you feel humbled?  Praise God. O that we all would be humbled in our walk that we would not consider outselves greater than any other, but in all things give praise to God our Father, who gives us life, and Jesus, who brings us salvation through His blood.  Hallelujah. 

We watched a movie last night starring Dennis Quaid that was so good and I will highly recommend it to you to watch.  I shared it with a few after we watched it and was advised they had already seen it.  And they didn't bother to share with me it was a good movie?  Rude!  On a wing and a prayer is the name of the movie and right now it is free on prime video.  I would watch it again.  I was spellbound and wrapped up in it; many times feeling what was going on.  Nothing like what I expected; and yet, hubby and I figured out what would happen before it did.  Loved the movie and highly recommend it.  Not a love story; but sit on the edge of your seat at times movie.

I am off work today as my daughter and I are going to a women's conference this evening.  I have my eye doctor's appointment this morning; a follow-up to my eye surgery 4 weeks and 6 weeks ago.  My eyes have been doing great and I'm getting good at remembering that I need to wear 1.25 readers to read; to work on my computers; to do anything close up..... but for distance... I don't need glasses.  It's awkward as my driver's license says I need corrective lens - so I still have to wear glasses while driving.  I think they will take my glasses and remake them today.  Little do they know I have prescription readers, prescription sunglasses, prescription regular glasses.  This may cost me a little.  But the plus is I don't have to buy frames; I can just have the lens changed. I hope.  AND, I will get to see much better.  Grateful it turned out so well.  I'm not opposed to wearing glasses; but may look into wire ones if I have to wear more of the time.  These plastic ones get heavy after awhile.

Hubby is taking me, of course, as this office is downtown.  Afterwards we will probably go to lunch.  Then I'll need to pack my overnight things and be ready when time to leave.  Looking forward to a good conference and learning new things and possibly making new friends.  I have friends, and it is hard to find time to cultivate deeper friendships, but I need to.  Every woman should have at least one person they can share life with that knows her heart and can encourage in this crazy walk of life.  Men need them too, and most have them.  I know hubby does.  And he is able to cultivate his by going out to breakfast or lunch at times with them; or doing the weekly Bible study.  I do have an 'old' friend and it's been a couple months since we met for lunch; need to get that on the calendar soon.  But even so, with seeing infrequently, it is usually just catch up when we see each other.  Melonie and I have known each other over 50 years now.

I found a photo of me yesterday that I think is about 4th grade.... showing the wonderful cowlick I have.  Isn't it amazing how when we find an old photo we tend to examine it, to see how we have changed.  And start wondering if we have any chidlren/grandchidlren that look like us.  I know my daughter and I share a resemblance.  I saw a photo of her recently with our great-granddaughter - and I did a double-take.  The angle her head was, at first glance, I thought it was me and wondered when that photo was taken.   I have compared my photos against granddaughters; against great granddaughters, and when I can imagine a slight resemblance, it brings me joy.  Why?  Because it feels like I will still live, even when I'm gone.

Yes, the reality that I wil be 74 years old this year;  and although I am in good health; things happen.  Yes, I have asked God to let me live to 100... and then die in my sleep peacefully.  But that doesn't mean that I will get what I wish for.  Especially because I want to be healthy at 100.  Which means I try to eat better (does eating Taco Bell power box mean I am not eating healthy?  I didn't eat it all!), and for four days this week I have managed to get on the treadmill for 30 minutes.  I'm hoping to find the time to do it again today for I am trying to get some exercise again.  Ms. Vicky next door reminded me when she returned from her vacation that I am to go with her to the swimming pool at the rec center when I get clearance from my eye doctor (have to keep water out of the eye as it heals).  Swimming is exercise too; it just hasn't been 'my thing'. 

And now, I'm starting to ramble so will hush and jump off.  I've got time to read more; which is always a good thing.  I've been reading a book in my 'quiet time'; about a chapter a day.  The last two chapters have had me in tears.  This man is telling the story of his 5 year old daughter dying from an asthma attack..... and how they have coped by leaning into God.  Yeah, he's a pastor.  He has shared their tears, their anguish... today I read the story of 3-4 days before she died that she was dramatizing the story of Snow White.  She was even dressed in the gown.  She took the apple, she took a bite.... and she says "I die..."  and she lays down and is still .... then jumps up and says "and then I go to heaven and am with Jesus!"  They never imagined that scene being portrayed in real life; only it was much more real.

I pray we all realize we have that choice.  Will we just 'die' and remain dead?  Or will we choose Jesus and be raised to life with Him; to live with Him eternally.... it's a choice.  Things here on earth are just temporary.  Things we do, things we say, will have no value in eternity.  It's Whom we choose to live for.  I choose Jesus; I pray you do as well.

Blessings!

Leaving the past....in the past.

I just did a whole bunch of erasing... and it is just as well.  The past is to be left in the past, right?  

Got some disturbing news about our prodigal granddaughter yesterday, and my heart is broken for her.  All I can do is pray for her.  And I pray that this is a wake-up call that will change her life.

Hubby gets his first shot today for his medical issue.  We have gone back and forth on it for several days because of the side effects.  I've told him to rebuke the side effects and tell them to go away before they even happen.  Do not live in the side effects.  Just because it says it will make you tired; don't let it.  Fight against it.  It will make drastic changes within his body and I know him well enough that if he continues with the shots that he will be unbearable to live with.  I have come to the decision that I prefer him NOT to take the shots (1xmonthlyx3 months then every six months) and trust God for the outcome.  The shot will not give him quality of life.  It will destroy him.  I.am.scared.of.what.will.happen.  Dare I tell him my fears this morning?  Dare I encourage him NOT to take the shots?  We've prayed about the shots, but received no answer.  I have told him it is his body, not mine, and he has to make that final decision.  And that's true, but this morning I am feeling he should NOT take the shot.... am I wrong?  I don't know.  I need to tell him what I'm feeling, though.  And I don't know how.

Yesterday was administrative professional day.  I got several ecards from other administrative professionals that I work with.  My boss sent me an ecard to my personal phone early yesterday morning; late afternoon I received a beautiful bouquet of flowers from her.  Another person I support sent me a $25 Amazon egift card.  My other 'big' boss - he didn't even remember until I was off the computer.  I checked my phone about 6-ish and he had sent a note at 4:20PM that said "Happy administrative professional day.  A card is in the mail."  I sent him back a smart-aleck note about finally remembering.  and Thanks.  We do joke around at times so he will take it in stride ok.  I'll touch base with him again this morning to ensure he knew I was joking around with him.  

I am excited I am taking tomorrow off work.  Eye doctor appointment in the morning; lunch with hubby; women's retreat with my daughter; a night at the hotel without the guys.  Then Saturday, helping a granddaughter teach a knitting class, if she still needs me.  She has 4 people signed up so has asked for my daughter's and my help.  I'm not good at crocheting or knitting, but hopefully can be useful in showing others how to get started.

'Let go and let God handle it'.  I'm sure you have heard that saying - or a portion of it - many times.  I know I have said it many times myself.  And still, sometimes, I find myself hanging on to things that I can't take care of, but if I put it in God's hands, I know that He will.  Sometimes we just need to take our hands off.  It could be about relationships.  It could be about finances.  It could be about material things.  It could be about health issues.  It could be about so many things.

But we always try to 'fix things', don't we?  And we want to 'fix things' our way.  And we usually mess things up badly.  Sometimes it is just best to have no Plan B.... just trust God.  

Lay it out before Him and ask Him to take it over; that situation, this problem; and trust Him that no matter what, He is God and I am not.  He is Lord and I am His servant, ready and willing to do His will. I trust Him with my life.  Every breath I have is because He gives me breath.   He loves me.

And He loves you.  Let Him encircle you today with whatever is on your heart, trust Him with it, and give it to Him.  Let Him deal with it.  In His way.  In His time.

Blessings!

It was 2:44AM....

 I am slowly being awakened by an odor I don't recognize.  Finally becoming alert, I (think) identify the odor, but cannot determine where it is coming from.  It smells like burnt plastic.  At least that is what came to mind.  Ilooked at the clock - 2:44AM.  Where could that smell be coming from?  The smell disppears.  I make a mental note to do a walk through at Ms. Amy's today to make sure that everything is ok there.  Our place seems to be jsut fine.  Burnt Plastic?  Why?  I have no idea.  Maybe it wasn't that, but that is what I determined the smell was.  

I tried to go back to sleep.  I had to have dozed for a moment... but only that... and the chorus of a favorite song of mine came into my mind... "Come on my soul, don't you get tired on me; Lift up your song, you've got a lion inside of those lungs, GET UP AND PRAISE THE LORD".... over and over again.  I look at the clock.  3AM.  I don't want to get up!  I have an hour yet!  I stall... the song keeps going through my mind.  I make a 'deal' with my mind; if I'm still awake at 3:15AM, I will get up.   "Well, good morning, Lord, it's 3:15AM and here I am!"  Yeah, I got up.  I thought about trying to go back to sleep in my chair, but knew that if God woke me up to spend time with Him, it wasn't to sleep.  We've had good, quality time together this morning.

I finished another book this morning and noted that I have finally reached 19 out of 36 books I have hoped to read tihs year.  If I keep up at this rate, surely I will surpass it.  I'm reading a couple other books already so one by one, mark them off.  I enjoy each book; and it feels good to 'check if off' and it counts towards something.  I actually long for the day when i can quit work and spend more time reading and doing things that I love to do.

Met with another person that I now support yesterday via Teams.  I now have 4 people I support (again) and this one is leaning to give me more things to do.  If I was in the office I wouldn't mind at all... there is just something about working from home that makes me reluctant to take on new projects.  She starts off about the board meeting that I mentioned yesterday - she has been invited to it - and the person she replaced was very active in helping get the slides in order on the powerpoint, etc.  I didn't have to do anything but take minutes; which was fine with me.  She was implying that it was my job to put the slides in order and to present them as they talk.  Uh no.  I don't want to.  I have to take minutes of the meeting; I can't present the slides and take minutes too.  And, I don't want to prepare them.  No one has 'made' me do it before, and I don't want to do it now.  I'm hoping my refusal to do it was strong enough yesterday that she 'heard' me and will not push it off on me.  I don't care if I am an executive assistant.  I haven't had to do it - EVER - in all my years - and I don't want to start doing it now!  If I was in the office where I could be walked through the steps and be more involved in it - sure, I could do it (probably) - but working from home... naw, I just don't want to do it.  I don't even like taking minutes - but I will because it is my job.  Am I grumbling?

I think I got 4-5 of the required training sessions done yesterday.  Yeah, I had that much 'free' time.  Oh - and I actually was able to get on the treadmill for 30 miutes while hubby was gone yesterday morning.  I'm hoping I can get on it today as well.  I've gotten started; now to keep at it.  Hopefully I can finish up a couple more of the trainings; I think I have about 7 or 8 left to get done (out of 20).  Most I've had to take the quizzes at the end 2-3 times before I pass.  These are things that do not apply to me (thus far) and although I read all the 'information', I don't always remember specifically how to answer the question - especially multiple choice. Oh well.  I jsut keep plugging along.

Hebrews 7:25 (NKJV):  "Therefore He is also able to save to the uttermost those who come to God through Him, since He always lives to make intercession for them."

Interesting.  I looked up the word uttermost; curious as to what the word could mean.  It means 'upmost'.  LOL They gave synonyms for it; they gave a noun usage of it; but to me, not a clear definition.  But Upmost could do it, I reckon.

Uttermost - the very top... God is able to save one who comes to Him through Jesus Christ. Why Jesus?  Because He is our Advocate when Satan comes before God to accuse us.  Oh yes, Satan does that.  He will go before God and point out every default in us; every sin he has cuased us to do, and tell God that we are worthless, that He should drop us like flies.

But Jesus.  Jesus is our Advocate, standing before our Heavenly Father, and telling Him, "I died for that person.  I took their sins and nailed them to the cross.  They have been forgiven."  O the grace of Jesus that sustains us in our darkest times!

Have you ever had moments of total despair?  When things were so dark and bleak that you didn't see your way to anywhere in it?  I have.  And situations were not always of things that I did... but that others did to cause the darkness and despair to overwhelm.  But Jesus.  He heard my cries - just as He hears your heart cry - and He held out His hand and pulled me out of the mirey pit.

Oh yeah.  I've talked about that pit before, remember?  Reminds me, I've commented to my little sister a few times that she tends to take up residence in her mirey pit, buys curtains and moves the furniture around.  She actually has gotten angry with me and says that I 'accuse' her of doing that.  I know I do it - does she think she is any different than any of the rest of us?  Until we realize we have gotten in to the pit, and settled in, we won't get out.  I wanted her to see that she can get out when she gets into the pit - but now she takes offense at it so I jst keep my mouth shut.   I'm going to guess she may be dwelling there right now... it's been a week since we've talked, and she hasn't answered nor returned any of my phone calls.  Maybe today she will.

I'm thinking I may need another cup of coffee this morning since I was awakened so early.  Stil trying to figure out what I briefly smelled.  It was strong enough to wake me up.  I will get hubby to help me do a walk through next door and also through our place to day to make sure all the plugs are functional and fine.

It is sounding very windy out this morning as things hanging on the wall outside are banging against the house.  Reminds me of the saying, "Look what the wind blew in!"  LOL  Oh the things we used to say!

And with that, I'll hush this morning.  I've actually got some time to do more reading; something I enjoy doing as well.  Hope that you have an amazing day, and that everything you hope for comes to realization.

Blessings!

Tuesday morning...

Hubby's Bible studies on Tuesday mornings has come to an end for the summer.  That makes me sad for I truly enjoyed the few hours he was gone for the study - and since he often went to lunch with his friend who also attends the study, he would be gone from about 9AM until 1-1:30PM - and I was alone all this time.  I snuck and got done things that I couldn't do while he was home.  I've lucked out today - he is meeting this friend for breakfast instead of lunch.  Not sure at what time, but possibly 8AM... and he will be gone a couple hours.  Sometimes I just need a break.  I have discovered that I fight depression more than ever with being stuck in this room nearly every day.... and when I come out... well, I'll just hush with that.

Yesterday was pretty busy until about 2PM and then things slowed down.  I needed to work on some training stuff we are required to take every year, but every time I thought of it, something came up and I had to do something else.  My boss has been driving me crazy about this upcoming board meeting on May 2nd.  We were going to move it; and I've sent several emails to the board members on if they can attend or not; and he decides yesterday that we will leave it on May 2nd.  Sigh.  And I think about all the emails I sent to the board members about it.  I do not like this part of my job.  It would be much easier in the office to where I could go in his office and talk to him about it; get all the information,; and deal with it - but it sometimes takes him awhile to respond to my emails if he's in a meeting and then he skims it and doesn't answer all my questions and I'm still left hanging as to what to do.  

I decided to take Friday off work since I have the doctor's appointment downtown.  As I got to thinking about it, hubby can take me to the doctor's appointment, then we can go to lunch, then I'll get my things ready for the women's conference - and have my daughter meet up with me about 3PM and we can go to the hotel and drop our things off and chill for a bit before grabbing something to eat for dinner.  I'm thinking that we may go some place for dinner versus depending on the food trucks that will be there.  That can always be 'dessert'.  We were to have food trucks at the last women's conference - but the only one that came was the coffee one.  I'm looking forward to getting away for an evening and being with other women and hopefully hearing a message that will meet my heart needs.

Time is getting away from me this morning, I'm afraid.  I woke up with a really bad headache - which after taking two tylenol extra strength it is finally gone.  But, I laid my head back a few times to rest it - and although I didn't go back to sleep, I did waste time.  I haven't gotten done all that I try to accomplish each morning.  And yet, here I am writing in this.  See how important you are?  If I ever miss a morning, surely I will fill it in later in the day - or will have a good excuse why I didn't.  After all, it is refreshing to know that someone knows and cares what goes on in my boring life.  I need to be able to share my ramblings.

It's interesting how people read books and can give reviews on it.  I know my son does it and I believe he is very good at it.  But he doesn't read the books I read. I finished a book titled Fervent this morning by Pricilla Shirer and it is my second or third time through it - and I love the book.  As I checked it off in Goodreads I noticed back in 2016 a review that someone named Morgan had put.  She really put the book down and made recommendations on other books on prayer.  I even have a couple of those on my bookcase.  I love prayer.  I love to spend quality time in prayer.  I've read numerous books on prayer, some that really spoke to me and some that bored me.  But I was surprised at this woman's review of this book.  Why?

 

Because I enjoyed every chapter I read in it.  Now I have read numerous books on prayer; I was part of a prayer coordinator group for a few years, prayer is my love language.  Granted, this book wasn't deep on prayer... but it had parts of Priscilla's life entwined with the words.  I thoroughly enjoyed it, and I can say that I did get something out of it, even this time around.  Encouragement to keep praying and not give up.  That's a big one.  It is so discouraging to keep praying for something and nothing happens - or diligently praying for something and something does happen, but not what you want.  

Perhaps I'm not as 'deep' as this woman is/was in her prayer life.  I am reminded of people of generations before me, that could pray deeply, reverently, and boldly... not that we don't do that now... but I think we have leaned more into Jesus is our Friend and we don't have to use Thee and Thou to talk with Him (although sometimes my reading in the KJV does cause that).  I take prayer seriously; and I love spending time in prayer.  I don't know, it was just weird to me how this woman put the book down because she felt satan was called out too much.  Well, duh.  Who does she think we are fighting against in our daily lives?  I applaud her boldness and honesty, but I'm concerned more that a new Christian who could grow from what she reads in this book will not read it, thinking it contains things that she shouldn't be reading.  I've read it at least twice, and in a few years I may pick it up and read it again.  I feel encouraged and renewed to fight the battles I am called to fight in prayer.  Maybe that is just where I am.  

Prayer doesn't have to be deep to be effective.  Prayer just has to be real.  Does that make sense?  

In His arms, you will know the beauty of His peace - "the peace of God which surpasses all comprehension" and which guards our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus (Philipians 4:7).  It's a daily fight, a battle, to spend quality time in prayer - and when we do find that time, it will lead us to a place of rest.  Why?  How?  God is the One fighting for us, and he will surely prevail.

Jude 24-25 (KJV):  "Now unto him that is able to keep you from falling, and to present you faultless before the presence of his glory with exceeding job, to the only wise God our Savior, be glory and majesty, dominion and power, both now and ever. Amen."

Take a moment and just pause and reflect on your relationship with the One who loves you more than any one else could.  Perhaps even a 'thank you, Lord' will escape your lips as you recall how you have been rescued from accidents in which you could have seriously been injured - but weren't.  Situations you may have been deflamed in - but weren't.  That is His hand over you.  The least you could do is tell Him 'thank you', even if you have chosen not to follow Him.  Which, by the way, would be the greatest decision you will ever make.  Following Jesus doesn't insure your life will be perfect, but it does mean that you won't walk your journey alone.

Blessings!

A Quiet Day

 We both did go to church yesterday and was disappointed that our pastor did not speak but had someone else.  We'd heard this other guy before, and he's ok, but we really enjoy our pastor.  I had planned on us going straight home afterwards, but hubby insisted we go out for lunch.  That man and his food!  I said no to a couple places, trying to get home to eat leftovers, but finally gave in and we ate at Streets of New York.  I really do like their pizza - and that is what we ordered, and I told hubby we are only getting the 10" and not the 14" or 16" - we don't need to stuff ourselves.  So we ate the 10" and headed home - and yes, it was more than enough as we both ate cereal for breakfast and I wasn't even hungry!

Ms. Vicky was out and about so I didn't get her mail over to her yesterday; she put it off until today.  I heated up leftovers around 6PM  and we ate. Hubby kept wanting to watch a movie so we finally did that.  Food and TV - I'm certain that he is addicted.  Sigh.  We watched the movie and he slept through the last half I think.  

I'm only working 4 days this week as I am taking Friday off.  I have my eye check-up on Friday morning - which will take up about 2 1/2 hours (it's downtown).  Then hubby will want to take me to lunch.  Then my daughter and I will head over to the hotel about 3PM and get settled in for awhile before heading over to the church where the women's conference is going to be.  I hope we both get something out of the conference, but if not, we still had some time together, and that is good.  And yes, we always take our yarn to the hotel for our 'down time'.

I read a story yesterday about a young woman who decided to not spend unnecessary monies for a year and see how much she saved.  Wow.  She saved $23,000.  She continued to save money.... and she retired within ten years with 2.2 million dollars.  Now I know that I can save a lot of money too, if I would quit spending it on books (MY addiction).  I think I will try it for the month of May.  I may have to remind myself frequently not to just buy something... but how much could I save in the month of May if I only bought what I needed?  Which means I would not pay for any meals out (could hubby go a month without eating out?  probably not), no books, no extra things.  Wow.  Not sure I could do it.  I would need to write down what I saved cause how else would I know how much I saved?  Perhaps if I started with a week. I could do this week, right?  Hmmm.    Could you cut back on things and save money?  I'm really wanting to try.  If it was just me, I'm confident that I could.  When others are involved, it does make it much more difficult as they are usually not on board with it.   They may say they are... until .... yeah, fill in the blank.  McAllister's potato max always calls his name.  LOL  And I only have this week to buy things, right?  LOL I have more than enough books on my kindle and on the bookcases to read; I really do NOT need to buy another book!  

I am reminded again of James 4:3, which I shared last week (I think)...

James 4:3 (NKJV):  "You ask and do not receive, because you ask amiss, that you may spend it on your pleasures."

Oh the thoughts that are going through my mind right now!  I read other versions of that scripture and most pretty much said it the same one; the Message, I think it was, was much more wordy and said it best.  We only want for ourselves; we want (lust) for things that we don't have and think we should have them.   I think we are all guilty of that in some respect.  It doesn't matter if it is a book or food or any other material thing.  When that thought consumes us, it has become more than just a desire.

erase erase erase.  sigh.

Perhaps I need to really ask God for His intervention in a situation.  I mean, I have prayed about it numerous times, but have I really asked God to intervene.  Something to think about.  And pray about.

What about you?  Is there something you 'want' that you just haven't truly asked God for, beyond the 'I hope God blesses me in this ....?"  I sit here and think of many things that I have wanted to do... and didn't do... or did do... but I didn't pray about it first.  What if I had?  Would it have been a blessing?  Could it have been more than what it was?  Oh we all have so much more to learn about God and His blessings upon us - and He is waiting for each of us to ask.  And it doesn't matter what it is about - He just wants to spend time with us.

And I think that is what I need to do right now.  All my thoughts and erasing has stirred up some pain I carry around with me over a situation.  A situation which has been out of my control for awhile... and I grieve and get angry every time I think of it.  And every time I have to give it up to God and allow Him to handle it. (He doesn't handle it the way I want Him to, either!)  But His ways are best... I need to be patient.

And with that - I'm going to hush.  I need to bring this matter before my Heavenly Father and seek His will in this situation.  Only He can resolve it.   What do you need to give up to Him to resolve?  Why not take the time and ask Him?

Blessings!

It's the little things...

 Hubby (and me) was taken out to dinner last night by our middle child and some of his family.  It was a great time (for us) and we both enjoyed so much being with them and enjoying great food too.  (Thank you again, son.) 

Today is Sunday and our plan is to go to church this morning.  I awoke with a dull headache so am still flipping if I will go or not.  Could it be that I just want to stay home and sit in God's presence - quietly - this morning?  Where is my joy in going to church?  I think COVID played a great part in stealing the joy of going to church.  We got lazy; got used to staying home and 'watching' church and being disconnected. It really is hard to get involved, especially when one starts at a 'new' church.  We love our church; we love the people.... inside I feel like we belong, and yet, not connected.  Does that make sense?  I mean, we are connected in that when we had missed a few weeks we got a text from our Pastor's wife asking if we were ok - we were missed!  And yet.... I just feel like I'm missing a connection somewhere.  I have gone to the women's things - and am going to a women's conference next weekend, although it isn't put on by our church, but some from our church is attending. Where am I going with all this?  I have no idea.  I think it is my head is hurting enough to distract my thoughts and make them wander all over the place.  Moving on.

Ms. Vicky did get home yesterday.  She said she loved the way I fixed up her patio and the plants.  I didn't stay to talk with her as she still had her friend there and I was leaving to head to Big Lots to look for some things.  I told her that I knew she had told me 'no' when I had asked before she left, and if she wants me to remove everything, I would.  But she came back with "I secretly wanted you to do it, but I didn't want you to feel you needed to."  I'm glad I went ahead and did it.  Got a couple chairs out of our way that we didn't need anymore.  I had so much fun fixing this up for her.

Jentezen isn't preaching this morning but a Dr. Robert Morris is.  He's telling the story of the feeding of the 5,000 (men).  But he is making it a dialogue with Jesus.  Dr. Morris has written a book titled The Blessed Life and he is sharing how when we give all we have to Jesus, He blesses it and blessing us.  More people need to hear that - and believe it.  I know that God has blessed us trememdously over the years.  Wow - he just said something profound.  It isn't in scripture = but what if Jesus prayed over the food and gave back to the disciples and said "I have blessed it, now you give it all away."  The miracle did not happen in the Master's hands, but in the giving away by the disciples.  So how much more would we have if we gave away what has been given to us.  It has to be blessed before it can be multiplied.  It gets blessed when we give it to God; then when we give it to God to be blessed first (our tithe) it will multiplied.    It has to be given away before it can multiply.

Psalm 89:1 (NKJV):  "I will sing of the mercies of the Lord forever; with my mouth I will make known Your faithfulness to all generations."

We do not serve the God of subtraction; we serve the God of multiplication.   I love that.  God has blessed us truly more than we deserve.  He has shown His mercy and grace to me, to us, in so many ways.  He is still working on both of us; probably me especially, cause I can be really hard-headed and heart-hearted at times.... but one thing I have learned over the years is that our God is Faithful.  And because He has been faithful to me, to us, He will be faithful to my children and my grandchildren, and our future generations.  

When we give what we have - no matter what it is - to God first, He will bless it.  Give our job to Him; it is blessed.  Give our ideas to God, and watch what He will do with them.  Give our resources to Him, and watch what He will do.  Give our children to Him and see what He will do through them.  Give our finances to Him, watch Him multiply all that you give.  

I have tested Him, and He has proven faithful.  I will sing of the love and mericies and grace of the Lord forever, for He has shown His faithfulness to me.  Thank You, Jesus!  I praise You, O God, for Your faithfulness to us.  Hallelujah!

Give with a cheerful heart; let God bless you.

Blessings!

Hubby's birthday - 86 and counting....

 Today is hubby's birthday and he is wanting to go to Einstein's for his free egg sandwich for breakfast.  Works for me!  I normally would have fixed a big breakfast for him, but he wants Einstein's - so who am I to complain?  I love their coffee so it is a win-win for me too.  He does love his food - and tonight our middle child is taking him (us) out for dinner.  He is looking forward to that as well.  

I've mentioned a small amount of hubby's medical issues over time and now he is facing the decision about taking a shot for an issue.  He has talked to the doctor and/or the office two-three times this week alone about the side effects.  The pills are out of the question - his copay is over $900.  They said the shot is considerably less....but the benefits person hasn't called him back yet on the copay cost.  That will determine his decision, I'm sure.  We even called his PCP yesterday and asked for a call back to discuss.  And he did get a callback, and the PCP's answer was he was aware of what this specialist was wanting to do (shot) but he didn't know much about the medication, although he had researched it some.  He didn't say 'NO', as he has in some instances, so hubby is thinking he may go ahead with the shot.

I did talk with my boss about it - her dad had similar issues and he refused the shot when it was offered - he was 90 - and when he died earlier this year - it wasn't because of that issue, but falling and breaking his hip... and 'old age' seemed to take over.  It's really sad how a broken bone in an elderly person can end up being the reason they go in to a hospital - and then die.  Isn't that odd?  My mother went in with a broken ankle.  I'm sure there is a lot more to medical things.... but still... the reason she went to the hospital was the broken ankle.  I miss my mama.

Anyway - the side effects are drastic (to us) if hubby takes the shot.  Extreme tiredness and weakness; weight gain; boob gain; and many other things.  And as we are fighting constantly about our weight - it's like - really?  A shot that will cause weight gain?  Just what he was wanting!  I guess it is really up to me -  and what I prepare for him to eat for dinner.  We sometimes eat around 4:30-5PM, but then we sit all evening.  I need to encourage him (and me) to go for a walk or DO something to keep the body active enough to burn some calories.  That includes me as well.

Ms. Vicky should be back home today or tomorrow, I think.  I haven't heard from her for a few days so might text her in a bit to see where they are, and if they are even on their way back.  Earlier this week she thought they'd be back on Saturday.  I hope she likes all the flowers I've planted in her pots for her and the way I fixed up her courtyard.  She may ask that I take it all back home... but I think it looks nice right now.  I've been going over and checking on the plants and I think they look great.  My flowers are doing great as well.  

Matthew 6:6 (NKJV):  "But you, when you pray, go into your room, and when you have shut your door, pray to your Father who is in the secret place; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you openly."

That scripture is on my mind this morning.  Yes, I do have this room that I can come in to and do my 'quiet time', my prayer time.  It's currently my 'secret place' with my Heavenly Father.  BUT.  You know how I have longed to have a place where I don't have all this clutter around.  It will probably never happen, but I can long for it.  What has triggered it this time?

I saw a photo of Dr. Charles Stanley's 'secret place'.  I am so jealous, I admit it.  I have grown up in my Christian walk with Charles Stanley.  I have several of his cassette studies, I have read several of his books - he didn't pull any punches.  If you love Jesus, you will follow Him.  And he would lay it out how we 'follow'.  It's all the way or nothing.  Anyway - he was 90, I believe, when he passed into heaven the other day.  But In Touch Ministries (which he founded) showed a photo of his prayer room.

It's plain and simple.  A chair, a bed, a kneeler.  A couple wall hangings - not a lot of distractions to take his mind away from God.  It reminds me of the hermitage I used to go to; how I long to be able to go now!  But, they are not available to the public.  

Alone with Jesus.  To kneel and pray; to lay prostrate before Him; to sit and talk with Him as a friend.   This photo puts a yearning in my heart for a room such as this; a prayer closet.  I may never have exactly what I want, but He knows what my heart desires for.... and what I have now... is still used to spend time with Him.  That's all that matters.  I start my day with Jesus; He is the author and perfector of my faith.  I want my life to be all about Jesus.  

Blessings!

It was another crazy, exhausting day.

 Work had kept me busy in the morning; lots of meetings to schedule - and then it was time to go pick Ms. Amy up and bring her back to her 'condo' next door (that's what she always calls it; to me it's 1/2 a duplex) to meet a man from a moving company to tell him what she wanted to take to Florida with her - whenever she gets to move.  It's been moved to May or June.  When the hurricane hit, water was up to the ceiling in the assisted living so there has been a lot of repairs to be made.  She will be on the 2nd floor.  But it still isn't ready.  

Anyway, I go pick her up and bring her back.  Not wanting to leave her alone with a man in her duplex, I stayed, checking my phone for things I needed to do.  Oh Ms. Amy.... you can't take it all with you!!  We started in one of the big rooms and she had to tell him history on several of the items, where it was purchased (what country), etc. She would talk about which daughter wanted what item.  He would ask if she was moving it - and she set him straight real quick.  NO!  He will have 3 different orders; 1 for her, and 1 for two of her daughters.  And another for her son who is in Indiana; the girls live in Florida about an hour apart.  But they will pay for their own moving of the furniture.  And yet, she wnats this, she wants that, she wants this because her grandfather made it; that because it belonged to ... yeah, she has a lot of history in nearly every item in her house.  I can just imagine how hard it is to let go.  But for every trunk she has in the house, handmade by her father, it is full to the brim with clothes.  I can easily think of three trunks, and that isn't counting the bins in the closets full of clothes.  Her husband died about 5 years ago.  His clothes are still hanging in his closet - along with hers and a lot of other things now)  because she wants her son to take them.   Maybe her son doesn't want them, which is probably why he hasn't taken them?    

In every room we went through she had to tell stories.  Finally, in the second bedroom, he tells her that he only has 15 minutes left, please tell him what SHE is taking... because she has already added about 800 more pounds than what her daughters had said she would be taking.  I asked her how big the new assisted living room would be and she thinks it will be huge.  I'm thinking of what she has now, versus what my Aunt Sue had in hers - and I think it is going to be more like Aunt Sue's.... and it wasn't that big.  She is wanting to take more furniture than she is going to have room for, I'm afraid.  And clothes? Oh My!  She told him she doesn't plan to take all her clothes as she has lost a lot of weight and most won't fit now - but she has to sort through the clothes so just give her wardrobe boxes to pack them in.  How many?  Who knows!  It took almost 3 hours before I could get her back to the assisted living as she wanted to go through things.  I was having to run back and forth from my work computer due to urgent meetings that needed to be scheduled and seeing if she was ready to leave.  I was tired by the time I got her back and returned home.  Had to work to catch up on things so it was nearly 5PM when I shut down for the day.  I wasn't going to cook dinner - not even leftovers - so we went to Cheddars for dinner and we both had steak.  

So glad today is Friday.  Hubby's tossing woke me up at 2:30AM and I finally got up at 3:30AM and tried to go back to sleep in here - and may have a little bit, but I am still so tired.  Today should be fairly light as far as work.  But a friend is taking hubby out for breakfast for his birthday - so guess what I'm going to do while he's gone?  Tee hee.  I ordered some medal cubes for the garage and plan to put those together - or at least get started - while he is gone.  It should be similar to what I bought for his shoe rack so I have an idea of how to put it together.  I plan to put on the wall in the garage so that I can move some of the appliances that I don't use that often out there and out of the way.  I have a lot of little appliances - and some big - that I use infrequently, but I don't want to get rid of.  Yet.  So will put them in one of these cubes out of the way, yet accessible when I need them.  My shelves in the laundry room are getting bowed at the ends because of the weight of everything; got to do something!  That's my goal for today and I have to do it while hubby is gone or he will fuss at me to let him do it - and I don't think he can figure it out easily enough.  It took me a few tries with his shoe rack.  He just has never been one to be able to put things together right - and heaven help me if I tried to correct him.

I've been reading one of Priscilla Shirer's books - Fervent.  I love her books and I've been re-reading a chapter a day.  Today it was on temptations and how easily the devil slips them in.  Temptations come in many forms and they aren't always obvious.  The devil waits until we are worn down, depressed, lonely, super busy, frustrated..... and then he will strike and plant a thought in our minds.  "It's ok to tell them what you think; they deserve it!  They need to know what they do irritates you."  "Oh come on, a little peek won't hurt, will it?  It's not like you are watching the entire thing."  "No one can see you right now or what you do...come on, it's ok, and you'll feel so much better."  "Go ahead and take it; they won't miss it, and if they do, well, you can act like you didn't know they wanted it."  Oh the devil is so good at tempting us to say or do things that are ungodly, unrighteous, to lie, to steal, to do things that we know that we should not do.

I Corinthians 10:13  "No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it."

Luke 22:31-32:  "Satan has demanded permission to sift you like wheat; but I have prayed foryou, that your faith may not fail."

Psalm 91 says that God has created a shelter for you, a place where the covering shadow of His love thoroughly shades you from the temptation that presents itself.  Our God is our refuge.  Our God is our fortress. Our God is truthworthy. And our God is our delivererer.  Arrows can fly by us every day, pestilence can stalk us at all times, destruction can lay in way for us.... but...  

Psalm 91:7, 9:  "A thousand may fall at your side and ten thousand at your right hand, but it shall not approach you.... For you have made the Lord, my refuge, even the Most High, your dwelling place.

And then.... you are safe. 

Watch out for those temptations that come at you and guard your tongue, watch your actions, keep yourself pure before our Holy God.  He will give you the strength to overcome anything that tries to take you or your loved ones down.  Stay watchful always.  Start right now.  Run to our place of refuge; our dwelling place in the Lord our God.

Blessings!

The touch of His hand.....

 By last night, I felt exhausted.  I don't know why I feel so tired anymore.... I tell myself I'm just being lazy.  But, in reality, is that all it is?  I WAS busy yesterday.. so it was a justified, good, tired.  And I felt so good mentally, about all I did get accomplished.  So what did I do yesterday?

Well.... I worked all day.  I mean desk work.  Hubby had a CT scheduled so when he left, I put together a shoe rack (complete with doors!) that I had purchased for his closet.  It wasn't hard to put together, but it took me awhile to figure out how to place the gadgets to hold it together.   But got it done and 'gave' it to him when he got back.  

I hauled two of our patio chairs that we weren't using over to Ms. Vicky's courtyard (again, while hubby was gone).  I put the cushions on them, took a little wire table over, and set it up in her courtyard that had been totally empty for so long.  I planted flowers in one pot she had and threw away another pot that was totally breaking up.  I pulled a big pot out of our garage and filled it with dirt and planted more flowers and put next to our gate.  I planted two other small pots and took over to Ms. Vicky's to set around her big pot.  I text'd Ms. Vicky and asked if I could fill the clay pot outside her gate and put flowers in it - and she text'd back that I could.  She doesn't know about all the other.  She will be back home from her Nebraska trip on Saturday, she thought.

And I made Shrimp, Corn, and Potato chowder.  And - it was very good.  Hubby and I ate a bowl for dinner and then I called Ms. Diane and took some over to her and visited for a little bit.  Since it was still hot, she had me go ahead and fix her a bowl of it - and she devoured it!  I never know if she eats any more of it after I leave it, but she insists she does.   And I left her enough for a couple bowls.  If she eats it, great! That means she eats something during the day and not waiting until her daughter comes at night.  I am concerned about her not eating as she is a diabetic, but all I can do is take it to her.  Her daughter keeps things in her refrigerator ready to eat for her as well.

So I was busy yesterday - and I loved every minute of it.  Oh - and I cleaned up our courtyard some and moved the chairs around.  All.by.myself.  And it felt good.

But I was exhausted last night - and still this morning when I got up at 4AM.  I settled back in my chair and yes, I fell asleep... and I dreamt.  It was interesting.... I was at a conference of some sort, sitting in the front row, first seat in the aisle.  I had my feet propped up on the stage and I was laying back in my chair.... sound asleep.  I could see myself asleep.  People would go to the stage and talk (about what, I have no idea)... but I slept.  Until this one time... whoever it was that spoke.... when they came down off the stage, they put their hand on my shoulder (was I snoring too loud?), and kept on walking.  That touch woke me this morning, as I sat here in my chair.  I felt a hand on my right shoulder; not shaking me awake, but just a gentle touch.

I heard hubby moving about and knew he would be bringing my coffee in soon.  But here in my room, I knew I was alone.... at least of people in human form.  Jesus is always with me and I like to believe that He put His hand on my shoulder to awaken me, that I had things to read and things to do for this day to get started.  What was the dream all about?  I have no idea.  But I love that He allowed me to sleep about a half hour more, then by the touch of His hand, awoken me to begin the day.  

Today I pick Ms. Amy up about 12:30PM to bring her back to her home so that she can meet the movers here.  She is planning ahead and wants to get a cost on what it would be to take some of her things to Florida when she moves there, which she is waiting on the final word from the assisted living there to tell her they are done fixing the place up from the the Hurricane that flooded it earlier this year.  She will be on the 2nd floor so not much needed to be done there, but there was quite a bit of water on the first floor and a lot of repairs that needed to be made.  She's still hoping for May, but it may be June as well.  In the meantime, I do what I can for her.  

My boss laughs at me because I call my neighbors my 'community project'.  But I do enjoy these women and love to do things for them when I can.  I got to thinking about it this morning... is this the ministry I am now called to?  For this moment in time, perhaps.  

Galatians 5:14 (NKJV):  "For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this: "You shall love your neighbor as yourself."

I think I got a spider bite on my wrist yeserday while I was working outside - or perhaps in hubby's closet!  It's itchy and red and has a hard center.  I'll find a bandaid and put raw honey on it and place on it - that should help.  I use raw honey for a lot of scratches and bites, and it heals it up (usually) fairly quick.  I love the 'old wives tales' that still work.  I don't remember most of them anymore, but when I do, I use them.  I may even have a book somewhere about them - or not.  I don't use the herbs or poultices, but raw honey - yeah I can do that.  I use that for boils too and it removes them in just a few days.  I remember when my middle child used to get boils on his back and his father would make him lay down so that he could pop them.  Our son would scream at the pain of them being popped, but his father would persist until he got them to pop open.  We never did know what caused them.  I know I read afterwards - and I think we actually did use them at one time, was raw uncured bacon.  You place the bacon over the boil and in time it will pull the white core out where you can just pick it off.  

I really ought to write down some of these 'old wives tales' as they come back to mind.  Ought to and doing it are two different things.

I've rambled on enough this morning so will hush - I have another project I want to get done - without hubby, hopefully - but need to work today as well.  I checked and I have about 30 emails for work already this morning.  Sigh. Sometimes they are never ending.  But, I'll get them caught up quickly; hopefully they won't be giving me much work to do.  Most are meeting acceptances for my bosses.  Or other executive assistants wanting time slots for meetings and I have to check calendars for when my bosses are available.  Oh well, all in a day's work, right?

Hope that YOUR day is simply amazing and that you are able to accomplish all that your heart desires.

Blessings!

It made me smile....

 I just finished reading my son's (Ralphd00d's) blog about stopping over here the other day.  It made me smile as I read and remembered his visit - for whatever reason he was out in this area - it brought me joy then, and it brought me joy again as I read his story of it.  I really had to smile at the dialogue he shared with his wife.  My child! 

I had a great lunch with my boss yesterday down in Tempe and a good trip there and back.  It's about 45 miles one way.  I took my time coming back and stopped to get my car washed.  I decided to go with the 'unlimited' washings because I like my car clean.  It had gotten pretty bad.  I can go as many times as I want each month, for the price I would pay for one car wash.  Win-win.  The inside of my car doesn't get too bad - mainly the front seat where feet get on the carpet, and in the back/trunk area where I place anything I'm buying - groceries, plants, boxes, etc.  I had dirt back there from the plants I had bought on Sunday  It had been over a month since my car was washed and driving in the rain (when we had it before), had left dirt spots all over the car.  It looks so nice now.

Peoria Ford keeps calling me and leaving voicemails, and sending letters, and even sending emails - wanting me to trade in my car for a newer one.  Nope.  Not going to happen.  It's a 2017; I bought it in 2020 and I can't remember the mileage it had then - less than 20K I think - but I have about 40,480 miles on it now.  I keep up with the oil changes, tire rotations, etc.  And, I don't drive it that much.  And even better - I had it paid off in a little over a year by applying all I could towards it.  It costs me nothing but gas and upkeep.  And it's a gorgeous blue.  Why would I want to trade it in for a  newer, different color, car when I'd then have a car payment?  Naw, not going to happen.  I quit taking their phone calls; throw the mail away (after checking to see what they are trying to bribe me with - last time was $1500 over what I still owed on my car. Well, duh, it's paid for.), and emails I just delete.  

I have numerous emails to take care of today for work and daggone it - the chair of the board I have to take minutes at decided to take that week off on vacation and I have to move that board meeting - and I can not find any dates andMy  times that will work.  I'm hoping I can get my boss to just cancel it.  The next one is August 9th.  But I have looked through May and June and there just isn't any time available.  Will see if he makes me overlap meetings to get it in.  Got to take care of it today.

My daughter took me to a new salad place last night - I would go there again.  It's called Salad World and it's at 83rd & Cactus.  You go in and choose what size you want (regular $9.99 or large $12.99) and trust me, regular is big enough for me - and I love salad!  You tell them what kind of lettuce you want - they have 4 trays of different kinds, I think.  Then there is cut up fruit if you want that added.  Then they have about 36 (?) different kinds of toppings.  Now mind you, the toppings are cut in very small pieces - like 1/2 inch squares, and they only put one tablespoon in the metal bowl they are adding everything to.  Then you add meat - ham; chicken; steak;  -  again, in very small pieces for $1.99.  There is also a lot of different kinds of nuts to add.  Then you tell them what kind of dressing you want, either on the salad or on the side, and they stir it all up together and put in the plastic container to give to you.  AND, on Tuesdays they have 2 for $22, including the protein.  We really didn't save as we both got the regular size, numerous toppings (all free)  and the chicken (normally $1.99) - so for us it was about the same cost.  But the salad was very good.  I would go back.  I had a salad for lunch that was smaller, at the restaurant, and it was $11.25 I think - and I enjoyed this one just as much.  I told hubby about it so you know he has to go because he always wants to experience the things I do.

I read a former pastor's blog this morning and he mentioned he was in Ohio to do a funeral of a young woman who had passed away.  She was born on the day of the Oklahoma bombing which left 168 dead and over 600 wounded.  He shared about the tragedy of that bombing - and yet, here was this child born that very day.  He talked about how this young woman, now grown and married, had a smile on her face always; was always so full of life.  He didn't say how she passed away, or what happened, but that she lived life.  And loved life.  Reminds me of 'The Dash' story.  Do you remember it?

The Dash  (by Linda Ellis)

I read of a man who stood to speak / at the funeral of a friend / He referred to the dates on the tombstone / from the beginning.... to the end.

He noted that first came the date of birth / and spoke the following date with tears, / But he said what mattered most of all / Was the dash between those years.

For that dash represents all the time / That they spent alive on earth. / And now only those who loved them / Know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not, how much we own, / The cars...the house...the cash. / What matters is how we live and love / And how we spend our dash.

So, think about this long and hard. / Are there things you'd like to change? / For you never know how much time is left / That still can be rearranged.

If we could just slow down enough / To consider what's true and real / And always try to understand / The way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger / And show appreciation more / And love the people in our lives / Like we've never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect / And more often wear a smile, / Remembering this special dash / Might only last a little while.

So, when your eulogy is being read / With your life's actions to rehash..... / Would you be proud of the things they say / About how you spent YOUR dash?

Blessings!

I really was tired yesterday morning!

 I realized this morning as I brought up this blog that I didn't even put a title on it!  Threw one on it - 'just because I can't leave a space blank!'  LOL  I know I was really tired yesterday morning... and this moring too, actually.  The night before hubby was bouncing all over the bed, I think... and last night, although he got up and went to sleep in the chair in the other room, I woke up when he got up so mentally was 'awake' waiting on him to come back to bed - which he didn't.  So I took a short nap jsut a few mintues ago.  Feels better, too.  The advantage of sitting in a recliner back here; and also the disadvantage of sitting in a recliner back here.  

We got a great surprise yesterday afternoon.  One could say it was a gift for me from God.  Seriously!  I have had some beef jerky I have been holding for my son for several weeks now and it has been on the bed back here.  It was even in a bag to keep it together.  I had just picked it up and mentally tried to figure out how I could get it to my son..... when my phone rang.  Yep, it was him.  He was in the area and asked to stop by.  Absolutely!   He did stop by, I gave him the beef jerky - and a partial bag of walmuts I had in the freezer (I had two bags, both opened), and he stayed for awhile and we caught up on things.  It was so good!  I took my phone where I could watch my emails from work and know if there was something I needed to take care of, and sat out in the front room with him and hubby so we could all chat.  I love that he stopped by; made my day.  We may be meeting up later this weekend for dinner to celebrate hubby's birthday.  

Today I have an hour's drive -thereabouts - to meet my boss for lunch at one of our favorite places in Tempe Marketplace - Lucille's Smokehouse BBQ.  REALLY good food.  We planned it a few weeks ago and boom - here it is today!  Which means I need to clean up today and put make up on.  But that's ok.  I'll do it for her.  Love spending time with her.   We usually do breakfast.... and I think we are actually scheduled for that in a couple weeks, but may cancel that one and wait until June.  July she will be in NY for 3 weeks so probably won't meet in July and looking at her calendar, we may not get to meet until late August.  I need to be thinking ahead - her birthday is October 1 and Boss's day is October 16th.  

I was reading in one of my books this morning and it shares how we need to be consistently praying for our children, our grandchildren (and our great-grandchildren).  I do pray for each one, many times calling each one out by name and praying a blessing or need over them.  Unfortunately, I don't always know their needs, but when I do, I know how to pray specifically for them.  How I wish I could see them more often - each one of them - but time and distance and now even age - all play a part in that.  No one's fault - it's all the 'circle of life'.  We all get busy.  I still miss them a lot, and long for the days long ago when we gathered together, but.... I still gather them close in praying for them.  I wonder if they know they can always call me if they have a prayer need.... specific prayer is always good, versus generalized prayers.  

Ephesians 6:10-13 (NKJV):  "Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and have done all, to stand."

There are so many things out there that want to take us down.  Each morning we should put on the armor of God and ask Him to watch over us and our loved ones.  That He would guard our words and our actions, that they would be pleasing to Him.  That we would treat others with kindness.  That we would be His witness to this hurting world.  So many of our youth have gone astray. 

You may be the only witness for Jesus they will encounter.  You may be the one who leads them to Jesus and ensure they will go to heaven.  Are you living your life in such a way that they will want what you have (spiritually)?  

We can raise our children in church.... but unless we give them more than a head knowledge of God... they won't know God.  They need that personal knowledge, they need to see Christ living in you (and in me) that they will choose to follow Jesus.  It's more than a head knowledge; they need a heart knowledge.  And that is what I pray for each of my children and grandchildren - and great grandchildren.  That they will gain a heart knowledge of Jesus Christ.  He is the only One who can lead them and guide them.  Are we doing our part to teach them?  Pray the armor of God over each one by name.  Pray that their hearts will be turned towards Him.  He IS the only way to heaven.

As a reminder to myself to put on the armor of God each day, I bought myself a cup that has it on the side - even have my name on the cup.  I had ordered it through Etsy and I missed their email on the color of my hair... which is a a mixture of bleached blond, brown, and gaining lots of gray... so when they sent it, the woman kneeling with the armor on has blond hair.  Reminds me more of my sister who does have blond hair - but my name is on it - so I go ahead and use it.  But using that cup, I am reminded that I, myself, need to put on the armor of God each morning, that I may withstand the wiles of the devil.

Oh you do something right; you make amends with family, your put yourself 'out there' to help others - and the devil is going to do all he can to cause discontent, to cause discord, to create problems.  He doens't want you to put on the whole armor of God.  He doesn't want you to put on the helmet of salvation - he wants to penetate your mind and throw distraction in.  He wants to attack you where it will hurt the worst - your heart with which you love your family.  He doesn't want that breastplate put on you, nor the belt of truth, for then you can see the devil's hand when you have discord with a loved one.  What all is the armor of God?

Ephesians 6:14-20 (NKJV):  "Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; above all, taking the shield of faith with which you willb e able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God; praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints - and for me, that utterance may be given to me, that I may open my mouth boldly to make known the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains; that in it I may speak boldly, as I ought to speak."

Pray without ceasing over your family; your prayers may be what saves them from an accident; from harm; may enrich their lives with friends who can mentor them and teach them, may change their minds about your influence in their lives (we all know our children generally reject us as they want to make their own decisions) - pray for them!  Ask God to give them wisdom, knowledge, and revelation in all that they do, that they make the right choices.  Just pray.  If you love your children, pray for them.  You may be the only link to Jesus they have right now - surrender that little one to Jesus and ask for His protection over them, that they will grow into a mature adult, full of wisdom.

Sometimes, just sometimes, we are their only link to Jesus.  Especially if the world has gotten ahold of them and they are rejecting Jesus.  Pray for them.  Start today. Ask Jesus to cover them with His hand and lead them back to Him.

Blessings!

Asking and receiving - two different things

 Yesterday was almost a 'do nothing' day.  We went to church - which had an excellent message about doubting God.   How many times have we asked God for something, but then doubted that He would answer our request?  Now that is if we haven't asked amiss, for our own pleasure.  For example, many people will 'pray' for God to increase or bless their finances.  And they may really believe that because they are a Christian, that God is going to answer their request.  But the reason they want their finances increased is so that they can spend it on frivolous things, or things of no value.  

James 4:3 (NKJV):  "You ask and do not receive, because you ask amiss, that you may spend it on your pleasures."

Doesn't that make you pause and reflect on the things that you have asked God for?  Or perhaps you haven't spoken to Him for awhile.  Is it because you doubt He will provide for you?  Our Heavenly Father loves to give good gifts to us.  When we ask, we should believe that He is more than able to provide; and although it may not be in OUR timeframe (like, right now, Lord!), but His timing and His ways are always better.

I can look back over the years and I can clearly see God's hand of provision in many different ways.  He also allowed us to fall when we chose to things our own way, or if we were acting in total helplessness.  We weren't depending on Him; no matter how much we prayed for something.  And He allowed us to fail in what we were doing.  I mark a lot of that time to be being naive and immature in the world.  But it taught me many lessons on being frugal and seeking Him on how to complete things.  Many, many years ago... I learned to cook from 'scratch' because we had no money for food.  Looking back now, I realize how valuable that time was.  I gained a love of cooking and making things that weren't from a box or premade.  

But there have also been times that I/we have prayed for things that never came to pass... and you know what?  It was a good thing that God said 'no'.  Things have always worked out - sometimes we would just overreact.

Guess what just popped in to my mind.  Remember when the year turned 2000 and people were told many, many lies that computers will shut down; banks will close, etc. because the 'big computer' could not move from 1999 to 2000.  Many people purchased food packets and who knows what all; wanting to be prepared.  And there is nothing wrong with being prepared.  Did we do it?  No. I believed that God would provide whatever we needed and we were to continue as if it was a regular year.  And we did.  Nothing happened anywhere.  It was all a hoax put on by whomever.  What a joke.  And people fell for it.  They doubted that God would provide.

God wants us to ask Him for things, for He loves to give to us.  But we should ask according to His Word and not for our own pleasure.  Extra money for groceries; I'm sure He will provide in some way.  Spend way too much on credit card debt and ask God to pay it off?  Probably not going to happen.  Seek God first; and His righteousness.

Yesterday was a good day.  After church we stopped at Noodles and Company for lunch.  Hubby hadn't been there and it had been a few years since I had been.  Hubby enjoyed it; got a shrimp and noodle something or other.  I got a salad, but didn't notice they added a spicy yogurt dressing to it.  Wasn't too impressed.  They don't give you a lot for what you pay for.  My salad was $11.25 and it fit a large cereal bowl; drinks were $3.00 each.  I did get a diet coke because I don't buy sodas for home as a rule.  BUT, this is why I also get water most of the time.  Prices on drinks - even ice tea - are ridiculous!  I used to carry tea bags with me and ask for a cup of hot water - and make my own tea!  (and if you also asked for a glass of ice, you could make your own ice tea. Just saying).

After lunch I changed clothes and headed over to see Ms. Amy at the assisted living.  I was to pick up a check from her to pay a tree guy who is to be coming today to trim back her trees.  For $750 I sure hope he does a good job.  LOL  She also wrote me a check for a bill I paid to her landscaper who came out to trim back one of the trees last month.  I didn't look at the check until I got home - I had to laugh.  Now she has not been feeling well the past few days so that would explain it.  On the envelope she spelled my name correctly, but on the check she wrote (first name) Noverest.  I had to chuckle.  I'll just sign it that way and then sign it correctly and deposit it this morning.  Love that I can just take photos and it gets deposited.

After visiting with Ms. Amy for a couple hours I stopped at the grocery on the way home and picked up what I didn't get earlier.  Then home to fix dinner and after the Suns game, hubby turned the TV off and I was able to read some.  I love the quiet of the evening.  Hubby doesn't so much.  It drives me crazy he is on his phone all the time, but, that's his life.  I choose not to make it mine.

Today is 'timecard Monday' but it doens't take me long to approve them now since all are salaried.  I check to see if they took any time off (it's on their boss' calendar), and check the timecard.  If it is good, I just go ahead and approve it.  They can still approve it as well - and I'm done with it.  Remember how crazy it used to be?  I was new to approving timecards and was afraid I'd make a mistake.  But - I got past all that and now it doesn't take long at all.   I'm hoping for a 'quiet day' at work so that I can work on some of the training things I need to complete.  Trying to do at least one a day.  My frustration is that many of these trainings do not apply to me or my job, but it is plan wide and therefore everyone has to complete them.  When it gets closer to time (we have until July 10 to complete) we are to finish, compliance starts sending out name lists of those who haven't completed them.  I always check my name first; then I check for my boss' names.  Then I really chuckle if I see our President's name on the list!  It's nice to know we are all 'made' to complete these trainings and not just specific people :-)

I still have plants to get planted today in the pots (just realized that since only one of Ms. Vicky's pots were usable, I may have too many plants.)  Oh well, will figure out a place to put them in the courtyard. I should get out there early this morning before it gets too hot.  Will need to bring up the work computer and see what's on the agenda for today.  Tomorrow  I will be doing a drive down to Tempe to meet my boss for lunch, but today, it's just work.

My list will move to perhaps next weekend.  Although, Saturday is hubby's birthday and I still need to  find a gift for him; not sure what that will be.  Maybe I'll take him out to an early dinner - not our usual haunts but maybe Longhorn Steakhouse.  He does like to eat his steak and this place is quieter so that we can talk.  There is one not far from here.

With that - guess I'm starting to ramble about 'things' so will hush up.  Hope that your day is amazing and you accomplish all that you need to.

Blessings!

What about the list?

 Well... I DID accomplish one thing on my list and one that wasn't - does that count?  No, didn't even get to the closets, jewelry or other things that I needed/wanted to get done.  BUT...  I did cook breakfast - bacon, my egg dish with potatoes, watermelon and toast.

Hubby didn't want to go with me so I had a couple hours alone -and went to Home Depot and walked around there.  I did look for shelving, but didn't find what I wanted.  I looked for a safe, didn't find that either.  I did pick up several plants, and had a strong longing I had a place to build a garden for they had a lot of plants that would fit perfectly!  And I was sad I could not.  But I did buy flowers.  When I got home, I went over to Ms. Vicky's to get her pots - and uh.... I didn't realize what shape they were actually in.  I started to pick one up - and the plastic broke in my hand.  Uh oh!  So I checked the other one and it was intact so brought it home.  I soaked the dirt in water.  I need to go back today and just dispose of the other one as I had left it there.  It really isn't useable.  But with the one pot, my plan is to put some flowers in it, and put it back in Ms. Vicky's courtyard.  Want to get the chairs over there - hopefully today - as well.  She text'd me from Nebraska yesterday and eh4 should be home by the end of the week.  It would be a nice surprise for her.

I went to Sam's Club and picked up a few things - it was so busy!  I didn't realize it was their 50th anniversary and they were doing cupcakes and free sodas.  I got neither - I just wanted to shop!  But, alas, with so many people, I got just a few things and left.  

Oh - I forgot!  I DID get something done yesterday!!  I defrosted and cleaned out the freezer AND cleaned out the refrigerator!  I did get done something I really wanted to get done.  I have all the meats on a shelf, all the veggies on a shelf, etc.  Oh - and I made a jar and a half of bread and butter pickles.  I ran out of sugar - which is why I decided to go to Sam's Club.  I should have gone to Fry's - would have gotten more of what I wanted to get.  Will possibly /maybe go today.  Or not.  I admit I was tired when I got home yesterday!  But it felt good to be out by myself and walking around. I got home and hubby had the baseball game on and was asleep in his chair.  I brought everything in and was putting them away before he woke up.  

Today is Sunday and we'll go to church.  I'm listening to Jentezen Franklin @ Free Chapel right now - it is a powerful message today!  But - we'll go to our church and may possibly stop for lunch.    Wow - Pastor Jentezen said something that causes one to stop and think....

"You don't fall out of love, you fall out of forgiveness."  Doesn't matter if it is a spouse or a child or a sibling or whomever....  wow.  That hit home.  I can avoid what that implies and ignore it....  or I can think about it and make a decision what I need to do about it.  Yeah, I know I'm affected by that statement, as I'm sure you are.  Sometimes I just want to distance myself from what is right and maintain my 'rights'... but ...    Wow.  "Get your dirty fingernails out of what God is trying to heal!  Quit ripping the scab open over something that happened and keeping the wound fresh.  Let the scar heal and put it in the past."  Dang!  Good stuff today!  I need to tell my sister she needs to listen to this!  And a couple brothers too!

I didn't realize something until this morning.  It's in Exodus 8.  It has to do with the 4th plague that the Lord had sent upon Egypt.  Until the 4th plague of flies - when a plague was called, it was upon the Israelites AND the Egyptians.  But as the plague was announced... God said...

Exodus 8:22-23 (NKJV):  "And in that day I wills set apart the land of Goshen, in which My people dwell, that no swarms of flies shall be there, in order that you may know that I am the Lord in the midst of the land.  I will make a difference between My people and your people. Tomorrow this sign shall be...."

The first three plagues affected the Israelites in Goshen as it did the Egyptians in Egypt.  Hadn't really thought about that.  But the 4th plague set the two nations apart.  Wow.  That's God.    He can do anything.  

The enemy tries to put flies on prophetic promises; he tries to destroy families with pain and unforgiveness, he tries to break people by putting addictions upon them.  But GOD!  He is the One who can set us free.  DECLARE YOUR HOME, YOUR CAR, YOUR AREA OF LIFE - FLY FREE!!   God is wanting you to make that declaration.  Ask for the healing you need.  God is waiting to hear from you.

God takes what the enemy meant for evil and turns it for GOOD.  Turn your disappointment into worship.  Give up the grudge; give up the unforgiveness - and see the healing and victory that the Lord will give you.

Hallelujah!  You have Victory in Jesus!  NO MORE FLYS!

Blessings!