I don't wanna work today! Yes, I have a lot of things I need to get done for work... and I don't wanna. I don't know what is going on, but by 7PM last night I could barely stay awake. I tried listening to a podcast, but found my mind not really listening so turned it off. I crochet'd. I yawned. I yawned again. I struggled to 7:30PM. Hubby made fun of me because I was struggling to stay awake. I finally made it to 8PM and said I was going to bed. I quickly fell asleep and didn't hear hubby when he came in. My watch alarm buzzed me at 4AM and I turned it off; I was still so sleepy. Finally twenty minutes later I struggled and got up and came in here. I thought about going back to sleep - but told myself 'NO'... I need to start waking up. But - I'm still so tired and so sleepy. What is going on with me?!
Grateful I get a couple hours 'alone' (still having to work) this morning as hubby has his Bible study and he will be leaving about 9-ish. He will probably go to lunch with his friend, as he does frequently. He will need to be back home around 12:30 or so as he has a doctor's office calling him around 1PM. But I get a few hours by myself. I know I mention this frequently... and I'm sorry I do... but until you feel like you are chained to your computer 8-9 hours a day and are stuck in a room most of the day working... ah, who am I kidding. You DO know that feeling! I know, I need to put some music on and get up and dance some, right? Something to break the monotony of my life. Change my routine. Do something different.
My son has mentioned he has a list that he keeps ignoring (ok, maybe not in those words)... he should see my list! Sometimes I write my list down, when I know I absolutely need to do them NOW.... but many times my lists are full of dreams and wishes and want tos. I'm not going there - lucky you. I paused and thought about that 'list' of what I want to get done... and thought, naw... keep the list buried cause they aren't going to happen now.. but hopefully some time in my lifetime.
What are some of the things, though, that I can share? I want to 'redo' this house. By that I mean get rid of some furniture and rearrange things. Yeah, just like our other house, this has become hubby's house. I want to make this a home. But I can't do what I want, so I do nothing. I want to have a tea party (I have talked about it for a few years - why not do it THIS year?). Hubby doesn't care that I do a tea party. I just need to pull it together. I want to clean out my closet and close my eyes and get rid of things. What is it that someone says to do? Look at a piece of clothing you have in your closet; if it doesn't bring you joy - get rid of it. No fond memories - let it go. Heck, most of my closet (in clothes) are like that - I skimmed it yesterday - hubby still has three times more clothes than I do. Not that it matters; neither of us go places to wear out what we have. We 'out grow' before we 'wear out'.
I still get amused when hubby will go to his Bible study, go out to lunch with his friend, come back after 1PM - and then fuss he is so busy and has so much to get done that he can't get the laundry done. (Duh. I'm hoping to get mine done (it's been two weeks again) while he's gone today. He gets angry when I do that - but I don't care - it's my stuff. I'm not 'supposed' to do the laundry - it's 'his' job. Yeah, well, 'his job' was also to clean the house yet he hires someone to do it. Ok - on to another subject before I get started.
Acts 4:10 (NKJV): "...let it be known to you all, and to all the people of Israel, that by the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, whom you crucified, whom God raised from the dead, by Him this man stands here before you whole."
Do you remember that story in Acts? Peter and John were going to the temple to worship and this man was laying beside the path begging for alms. Peter and John stopped to look at him, and said,
Acts 4:6-7 (NKJV): "The Peter said, "Silver and gold I do not have, but what I do have I give you: In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, rise up and walk." And he took him by the right hand and lifted him up, and immediately his feet and ankle bones received strength."
If you ae a follower of Jesus Christ, you do have the authority to speak, just as Peter spoke to this man. We - me included - sometimes have that 'doubt' that comes to us that we cannot not do it; we aren't good enough; we are not faithful enough; we can not ask for healing or declare healing for someone.... but God has given us that authority through Jesus Christ! If we are a follower of Jesus, we do have the authority to cast out demons, to have healing. But do we believe we can....
Yes, I have prayed for people and they have declared healing because of it; but I have also prayed and people didn't live. It all comes down to God's will for them..... our job is to pray and believe... but God's plans for that person are always better. They may use that person's life to draw others to Him. My prayer is that when I die, my legacy to my children and grandchildren - and even the great-grandchildren, is that they will know that I pray for them and love them and give them to God for His protection always. It isn't about me and my life. It is my life being lived for Jesus.
Sometimes we need to 'clean up' our lives. We need to quit doing things that we know aren't good for us but we do them anyway because it 'helps me to forget' or 'I'm hurting so much it dulls the pain' or any other lie that we tell our selves. I eat because of stress; I need to get control of my stress so that I don't overeat. We all have things. I've done the 'help me to forget; help me to get past my pain' routine. Guess what - all that does is intensify what I'm feeling. It took Jesus to help me get past all that; I am who I am now because of Who Jesus is in me. He is my Rock, my firm Foundation, my Nail in a sure place.
And He wants to be yours as well. He's always waiting for you to talk with Him. Let Him take you by the right hand and lift you up out of the miry pit of life, and receive His strength.
Blessings!
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