This is good sleeping weather!

 and I may be getting a nap in during one of my breaks today.  We were up late last night and I am struggling (and losing) to stay awake this morning.  Why were we up late?  Because at 8:30PM the driver coming to pick up Ms. Amy's car called and said he was 20 minutes out.  I had come up with the idea that instead of him driving to our house, I would drive the car up to an empty lot about a mile north, and meet him there.  With the transport truck, it would be much easier for him to load it up and move back out.  When we talked, I explained my idea.  So 20 minutes out - we got shoes on and got ready to head to the location.  Hubby was coming in his car so he could bring me back home.  We got up to the location after I talked with Ivan again (the driver) and he said he was 10 minutes out.  No biggie.  We can wait 10 minutes.  So off we went.  We got to the corner and I left the car running and the lights on, thinking I could flash the lights when I saw the truck so that he would know where we were.  He didn't show up until 40 minutes and two phone calls later!  Obviously, he is a worse judge of time and distance than I am!  But this huge transport truck pulls into the parking lot with one car already on it.  It looks like it could hold 10.  But probably 8, right?  Anyway, I handed him the two sets of car keys and we came home and headed for bed.

Of course with all the 'excitement', my mind was activated and would go shut up.  So I laid there awake for quite a while before finally dozing off, only to awake about 3 hours later - as usual.  Sigh.  I did go back to sleep, but not enough to make it worthwhile to make it through today.  I've slept some this morning.  I text'd Ms. Amy's son in Indiana (at 12:30AM his time!), apologized for texting so late, and let him know the car had been picked up and now it was 'all his'.  It was out of my hands.  This morning at 4AM our time, I received a 'thank you!' from him.  Obviously, my text did not wake him up.  Glad it didn't.

It's all becoming bittersweet for sure.  I sent a package to Ms. Amy's daughter last week that she wanted, and the estate people have been over there every day for the past two weeks.  The estate sale will start at 8AM this Thursday and I plan to be there at 8AM (or a little early!) to go through things.  Why? Cause although I know I don't need anything, there might be something I want!  I don't know what, though, cause I never went through the house all the time I had the key!  I didn't snoop into drawers to see what was there.  So I have no idea what all she has.  I did get the keyboard so if I get nothing else, I did get that. Now to learn how to play it!  I bang on it some when hubby is gone to a study or an appointment.  I have it on really low, and I will sometimes walk over to it and bang out with my right hand "When we all get to heaven".  My mama's favorite song.  I remember her singing it often.

I made a new dish for dinner yesterday and it was really good.  It was called like a Tuscan Chicken Stew.  It calls for a pound of cut up chicken thighs, one jar of pasta sauce, a pound of ground turkey (which I didn't have so left it out), and a teaspoon of basil.  I put the chicken, pasta and basil in the crockpot on high for 4 hours - and it was oh so good when we had it for dinner last night!  I fixed rice and put it in the bottom of the bowl then put the stew on top of it, but you didn't need to.  It's quick and easy and delicious!  See - just gave you a simple recipe that anyone can make!

I Peter 5:8-9 (NKJV):  "Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.  Resist him, steadfast in the faith, knowing that the same sufferings are experienced by your brotherhood in the world."

Oh we need to be so watchful of the schemes the devil throws at us to get us to sin!  It may seem like a harmless thing when we do things we are not supposed to do.  But when we do, we are allowing the devil to grab hold of us.  He just does it, one little thing at a time, because once we start, he easily pulls us into his clutches.  Be watchful that you don't allow the things of the world to infiltrate your home and your life.  The devil is sneaky.  He comes in through the books we read - those full of evil and violence and sex and things like that.  The devil comes in through the video games they play.  And we allow him in when we watch movies that we know that Jesus wouldn't watch.  It is the little things like that, that we allow the devil and his demons to get into our homes, into our minds, and into our words and actions.  Sit back and think about movies you watched.  If they have been full of sex and violence... what do you find your mind focusing on?  Watching scary movies.... do you find yourself jumping when you hear a noise in your house, or do you find when walking to your car that you are looking over your shoulder more often to see if you are being followed?  Do you find yourself edgy around people you don't know?

Those may seem farfetched - I'm sure!  But - I learned a long time ago, before I learned how the devil uses those things, I cannot watch scary shows.  Even now I remember the movie 'The Mummy' - and although I'm sure when I saw it that it was so tame to what Friday the 13th is now - if I allow the movie to play the picture in my mind, I get shaken.  I know, you think I'm nuts.  People laugh at me when I'm 'scared' for my grandchildren to be out at night or just out running around.... I've watched too many NCIS movies!  

I tell you what, though, hubby watches some shows that I wish he wouldn't, and they aren't even that bad.  But then sometimes at night when I get up, I feel a cold chill and I feel afraid.  And when that happens, I have to verbally tell the devil to go back to hell where he belongs and that Jesus is Lord and has defeated him!  Laugh at me if you want - the feeling is real and I have to do that for the chills to leave and the fear to disappear.  We must be vigilant to keep the devil out of our minds and out of our homes, and away from our children and grandchildren!  And I pray for each one to be covered by the blood of Christ.

Tonight at 4PM MT (7PM ET), on FreeChapel.org, Perry Stone will be preaching on breaking generational curses that have come down the lines of our ancestry and are in our children and grandchildren, great grandchildren.  We won't be able to watch it live, but plan to watch it as soon as we can.  If you will, please watch how you can break the curses than have come down through the centuries and have fallen upon your children.  I know alcoholism has come down my line and I am praying to break that cycle so that it stops right where it is and does not continue down my line.   I will be praying against the curses that have come down the generations.  I hope you do as well.

How valuable are your children and grandchildren to you?  Valuable enough to break the curses that you may not even recognize?  Do they have excessive anger issues?  Mental issues?  Alcoholism?  These are all curses from the devil - they are not from God!!  But HE can break the curse - you got to pray for your children!

Pray now - don't let it be too late.  Break the curse.  Be watchful.  Stand firm in Jesus Christ.

Blessings!

It was a good day...

 I listened to a lot of sermons yesterday - and I am praying it all sinks in!  Actually, it wasn't telling me of my wrongs... it wasn't even calling out any of those... but actually, each one of the messages I listened to yesterday were messages that were to draw us closer to God.  I ended up listening to both of Free Chapel's messages yesterday, then we went to church, and watched the afternoon Free Chapel service.  The revival has been extended through Wednesday.  What powerful services they are!  You won't hear it in the news so much, but there are revivals popping up across the USA.  

The wind is strong this morning, blowing through the courtyard.  I hear our windchimes banging against the house, and occasionally a 'bong'.  I think this is from a hurricane, isn't it?  Or am I am on the wrong side for that?  I saw it on the news last night, but wasn't really listening.  But I hear the wind blowing and the clanging of the windchime....glad I have a covering over most of the 'dinger' or whatever it is called.  I did! When I put it up, I crochet'd a covering for it cause it is LOUD.  It's starting to fall off, though, so need to cover it back up.  Mainly now it bangs against the house.

I received some yarn I had ordered last week - will be starting on a new afghan.  My little sister won't learn how to do it herself... but has asked at different times that I make someone for a family member or in this case, for a close friend.  I don't mind; and this time she offered to pay for the yarn... but I don't mind because it gives me a project.  I have another box of the color I need to arrive, which may be today, and then I can get started.  Of course they sent the white first.  I'm still not real good at making anything; just haven't learned different stitches.  But I enjoy making things and giving them away.  I've even made a dent in my yarn stash!  Unless I have a 'project', I just make baby blankets out of what yarn I have as many skeins are just one of one color.  With the baby blankets, I can mix colors up, no big deal.

It's Monday morning and it's 'timecard Monday'.  It doesn't take long at all to approve timecards now - everyone is salaried.  Some already have approved so I just give the final approval.  Others I have to go through calendars and see if they took time off.  The thing with salaried people - me included - if we work even one hour, we get paid for the entire day.  That means they don't have to put in for time off.  Saves me time trying to calculate and figure out hours.  When I take off an appointment, I try to get in as much hours as I can.  In fact, I have a podiatrist appointment Thursday mid-morning to check out these bone spurs.  They hurt when I walk in flat shoes or tennis shoes.  If in heels, they don't hurt cause the pressure is off.  If I need to have something done, I need to do it before the end of the year since I've met my deductible for the year.  Trying to get everything done this year.  This is a new podiatrist so will see what he says.  Anyway - timecards shouldn't be too bad today.  Much easier than when I was approving for the hourly people; they always had missed punches and then messed up PTO hours.  Glad I don't have to deal with that.  And 'timecard Monday' means we get paid on Thursday!  Whoo hoo!

Ephesians 2:8-9 (NKJV):  "For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast."

That scripture should clear up a lot of questions for some people. They think that they are a 'good person'.  Maybe they go to church 'most of the time', or they tithe, or they help people out, or they give to people in need, they are always there if someone needs something.... and many times they - and others - think that they will get to heaven on those merits.  

Or perhaps we just are good people.  Maybe we volunteer a lot, attend a lot of Bible studies, perhaps even teach a class or two.  We are always the first one to help others.  Surely we will get in to heaven for that!

Or perhaps we just struggle in life and do what we can.  We help when we can.  We volunteer when we can.  We just 'do what we can when we can'.  Surely our efforts won't be lost on God!

Over the years I've had several people tell me that 'you are an angel' or 'because of ........... you are definitely going to heaven!" And many other comments like that.  It would be easy to believe them; that because I help others when I can, or I go to church, or I teach a class (or attend one!) or because of many different things - that I can go to heaven because of my 'works'... because I try to put God first.  It all sounds good, and it is really 'flattering' to have someone comment that I will go to heaven..... but those things are not what will get me there.

What will get me to heaven is my relationship with Jesus.  He has to be first.  I cannot say I love God and ignore others.  I cannot ask God for forgiveness, and not forgive others.   Actually, forgiving others is much easier than forgiving family members.  Sometimes it is really hard to let go of the bitterness and anger and walls I build up with some people.  I have to pray - lots and lots - to let go of bitterness and anger towards some people.  But when I get the breakthrough, there is such peace.  

Some people like to play and frolic in their anger, bitterness and unforgiveness.  And they like to bring it up - sometimes frequently - to prove a point.  They say they have forgiven and let go of the past - and yet - they keep bringing it up which tells me they haven't let it go.  When you forgive someone, you may not forget what happened..... but it sets you free from the bondage of unforgiveness.

I refuse to give someone that control over me - I choose to forgive, and in most cases, forget.  If it comes back to mind, I just repeat the words 'I forgive ........' and move on.  I have to.  If I didn't, I may not have any siblings left to talk to!  We all have siblings that have hurt us in some way.  They will never acknowledge what they have done.... I know... my siblings have never asked me for forgiveness nor said they were sorry they did something..... and their response is not on me.  My response is - and I choose to forgive so that I am not in bondage to them.  They will not control my thoughts, my feelings, my reactions.  I choose to love and to forgive - no matter what.

And doing that doesn't get me in to heaven either!  That's works as well!  I need to seek God's forgiveness, and in some cases, perhaps even forgive God - and forgive myself.  Sometimes forgiving myself is the hardest!  But when we do, we are set free.  And there is nothing like being free in Jesus Christ.

Take a few minutes and think about any feelings you have against anyone.  Perhaps we all just need to say "I forgive ......" and let the offenses go. Give grace.  Don't be kept in bondage because of justification of anger.  There is so much more life in freedom.  Grab it!

Blesings!

It's time for church!

 I slept until 5AM this morning - that is, after waking up at 12AM, and again at 4;10AM and refusing to get up, except for the necessity of ... well, you know.  And I'm finding I'm still sleepy this morning.  BUT, I have FreeChapel.org on this morning and it is going to be a powerful service this morning.  I rewatched the first one, from last Sunday, yesterday.  I want to watch them all again - as the revival went on all week - except for last night.  Perry Stone is speaking again this morning and again at 5PM tonight.  If Free Chapel was here in town, that is where I would be going to church.

We will be going to 'our church' this morning.  Pastor Sharonda will be speaking this morning.  She's good, but she talks so fast that you have to listen close cause you will miss what the point is.  But she does get the point across and I tell you what, she doesn't hold back and don't pull any punches!

Yesterday was a quiet day - sorta - I watched one of the Free Chapel services, completed three scarves I had started for Needles of Hope, and made home made apple butter.  I discovered that I had purchased two bags of apples and one was starting to get wrinkled... so I halved the recipe I found and tried it.  They didn't get mushy like regular apple butter, but would if I ran them through the food processor - but I don't want to.  Only made a pint and a half, but that is enough for us.  Will see if I will make some for Christmas gifts; depends on how good hey taste - I know they taste sweet.

Who am I to deny what the Lord can do for you?  Do you even realize what all the Lord wants to do in you, through you, and for you?  He is not done with you yet - do you realize that?  I do hope He isn't done with me!  There is so much more that He wants to do IN me as well as THROUGH me.  How I wish you would go to FreeChapel.org and watch these revival series. Your life will be changed - and I dare say - for the good.  God is so good!  He is so able to handle me, and handle you, and handle any situation we come up against.

Yes, He can even help me with my problems (real or imagined) with hubby and family.  I can feel left out; I can feel deserted; I can feel alone - but I am never alone when Jesus is with me - and He always is.  How I wish you knew that Treasure of knowing Him!  Jesus is the Only way to our Father.  Please, don't wait too long to accept Jesus as Lord of your life.  The future is so much brighter WITH Him, than it is WITHOUT Him.

There is power in the legacy of faith.  What kind of faith are you passing down to your family?  

John 14:6 (NKJV):  "Jesus said to him, "I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life. No one comes to the Father except through me.""

Did you know that you could love God and still do wrong?   Read the story of King Uzziah who decided he wanted to offer incense to the Lord in the Bible.  He loved God and he served God - BUT he did it in the wrong way.  He was not a priest, and only priests could offer the incense.  God said so.  But King Uzziah decided he wanted to offer incense like the priests - 80 priests came towards him to prevent him- and the king got angry.  Standing there with the incense in his hand, the king got angry - and God .... well, Read II Chronicles 26 and find out what God did to him!  We got to 'stay in our own lane' when it comes to serving God.... only move out of it when God says so!

You can love God and not like His church - but God says we should not neglect the assembling together with other believers.  King Uzziah lived the rest of his life in a leper house, never again hugging or being hugged, always alone for the rest of his life.  And his son was angry at God - and although he loved God, he felt offended - and refused to go in to God's house.

Did you know you can actually grieve yourself to death?  Oral Roberts - a great preacher - lost a son to suicide.  He was grieving, and God told him that he was not to ask 'why'.  

Sometimes we have to forgive others, and then sometimes we have to forgive ourselves.  If we have failed in our lives - we can not live in the 'what if' and the 'why'.... we have to get to the point where we don't do that - sometimes we have to forgive God.  What is holding you back?  Are you going to allow the mystery of God to keep you out heaven because you are bitter in soul of your loss?  You also have to forgive God.

Yeah, I'm pulling this from what I'm hearing, but this is truth.  We may not understand why someone close to us dies.  We may still be bitter about not getting our prayers answered in the timing we gave God.... but are you going to allow that bitterness and anger keep you out of heaven?  Are you going to pass on the legacy of anger and bitterness to your children.  Is that your legacy to leave them?  Get your child(ren) in church!  Get your family in church!  Let them know the love of God who forgives all - and let them forgive you for not getting them there.  

Oh God!  Forgive me for the times I didn't want to go to church and stayed home.  Forgive me for not keeping my children in church.  I am so sorry I was disobedient and did things my way.  I know my children are not ready to meet Jesus.   When you feel your time is at the end, and you have not accepted Jesus as Lord, remember the thief on the cross?  He just told Jesus 'Remember me' - and Jesus told him that 'you will be with me in paradise'.  It's not too late - seek Jesus!

Things are so much better with Jesus.  You will feel a peace that you have never felt before.  You will feel a joy that fulfills you.  Seek Jesus.... don't delay.  He heals the brokenhearted and binds our wounds.  Let Him.

Blessings!

I was in trouble before I went to bed....

 Why is it that hubby thinks I 'need' or 'should' do everything he wants to do?  Hubby went to the gym last Saturday morning at 6AM.  I did not.  He discovered very few people at the gym and decided that is the time to go.  Good for him.  As you know.... I am not a morning person... and I've said many times, this early in the morning, only God can stand me.  Yesterday evening hubby asked if I was going to go to the gym with him this morning at 6AM.  I responded with the first thing that came to my mind.  "Probably not."  Needless to say, it unleashed some derogatory words and his anger, which I ignored.  And, needless to say, he did not go to the gym this morning at 6AM, as it is nearing 7AM and he is still home.   No, I'm not bashing or complaining, just stating facts.  And giving you something to read.

What I really want to do today is stay here in my room for as long as I want, and just talk with God all day.  I don't want to watch TV; I don't want to crochet or knit; I don't want to sew.  I just want to be with God.  Alone.  Just me and Him.  I want to cry out of my pain that I hold within.  I want to have freedom to say what I want to say to Him.  I want to worship.  I want to bow down.  I want to be His.  I want my heart linked with His.  Surrendered.  Free.

Until you have experienced what I have just shared, you have no clue what I am talking about, and I feel bad for you, because you haven't.  There is nothing like sitting in God's Presence and just being with Him.  It's more than sitting in church.  It is having your entire soul emptied of this world, and surrendered unto His Lordship.  Such peace.  Such joy.  Oh, how I long for extended times of submission to the One who loves me so much.

Ah, am I sounding mellow this morning?  Is that even the right word?  My heart is grieved over so many things to the point of despair.  I need to share them with Jesus.  He already knows them, yes, but I get them out of me and release them.... and allow Him to bring His healing balm to my heart.  I am made whole when I am surrendered.

I watched a special service - a powerful service - on Free Chapel last night.  Hubby wanted me in the front room with him, of course.  He watched the world series; I watched a church service on my Kindle Fire facebook with ear plugs.  I knew he was watching me... but I ignored that feeling and I quietly sang the songs and worshipped.  It was hard though, I will admit, knowing I was being watched.  And afterwards, sure enough, he questioned me about the message, the service.  When I tried to explain what went on... I got questions such as 'is that what you were doing?"  Sigh.  I don't remember if I commented on it or thought it, but I must have said something about wanting to watch things that help me grow in Christ than watching a baseball game.  His comment back was something along the lines of "I can watch the service tomorrow afternoon."  Sure, we can always watch church services at other times; that's why they are recorded.... but to be connected as it is happening... ah... enough I guess.   

Exodus 34:8 (NKJV):  "So Moses made haste and bowed his head toward the earth, and worshipped."

I Chronicles 16:29 (NKJV):  "Give to the Lord the glory due His name; bring an offering, and come before Him. Oh worship the Lord in the beauty of holiness!:

Psalm 5:7 (NKJV):  "But as for me, I will come into Your house in the multitude of Your mercy; in fear of You I will worship toward Your holy temple."

Worship... what is it that you worship?  You may not even realize it?  What is it that you put before God and think more of?  What is it that is more important to you than Him?  Do you not know that the Lord gives, and the Lord takes away?  Blessed is the name of the Lord!  All I have in possessions is a gift from God.  If He chose to take it all away from me... I would still love Him.  I would still worship Him.  If I lost everything, and even everyone... I would still praise His name, for He alone is worthy to be praised, to be adored, and to be honored and worshiped.  Hallelujah!

Take a few moment and think about what is important to you.  Is Jesus #1?  He should be.  He gave His life for you.  Can we not spare even a few minutes to worship Him?  Worshipping Him is the highest praise.

Blessings!

Yes, I'm 'later than usual'...

 but at least I'm pausing to write a few lines. I'm dealing with a headache this morning (I mean besides hubby) and it is bad enough I have taken an ibuprofen.  Been busy somewhat this morning doing 'things' and just haven't had my morning in sync yet.  Haven't done all my reading; and yes, I did take some time to go back to sleep as hubby woke me up at 12AM something with this tossing and turning, his snoring, and he has now taken up mumbling in his sleep - loudly.  I should have gotten up and come in here - but I did not.  I reviewed what was on the bed and what I could remove without turning the light on, and decided it wasn't worth it.  Guess who may just get this bed in here cleaned off tonight for any future early morning wake-ups?

Yesterday was a so-so day.... my sister called and we talked for over an hour about everything.  Seriously.  I was in a downer mood and it helped get me out of it  - for awhile anyway. I think I am just mentally and physically tired and I want to be a-l-o-n-e.  What I mean by that is just time to do nothing and not feel guilty about doing nothing.  Does that make sense.  Well, not going to try and explain it either. Some things will go to the grave with me. Oh, for those that wonder... her hubby is now back on chemo 28 days (a pill a day) then off 7 days.  Cancer out of remission.  I may have told you that yesterday.

Hebrews 4:12 (NKJV):  "For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart."

When you know the Word, (and sometimes when you don't, you 'know') and want to say or do something.... you call yourself out on it.  Ever find that happening?  You WANT to say something to someone; something cruel, perhaps, something mean, sarcastic.... and yet.... you hold it in.  Why?  cause you know that you know that you know - that you shouldn't.  Intent isn't always to hurt people, no matter how badly you want to hurt them.  We hurt people all the time with our words... and usually we are totally unaware of it.

Yesterday hubby took the youngest son and his wife out to lunch.  I wasn't invited.  No big deal for me... I felt sorry for the son and his wife.  There are some people who will understand that statement.  Of course hubby had to come tell me all about it and most, if not all, of what he discussed with them over lunch.  Last night hubby and I were exchanging a few words over something really stupid.... which I won't go in to, but there was a much better way to handle it, but his words were so unexpected, I reacted rather than let it go.  Then he made an accusation.  I'm still 'mouth open' over his comment to me.  Are you ready for this?

"You are just upset because I didn't invite you to lunch with us. And the reason I didn't, is that you monopolize the conversation!"

Wait - what?  The lunch was not even in the conversation we were having.  And, I think I have shared before... hubby has frequently - especially lately - accused me of monopolizing the conversation and he isn't able to say much.  I can't help it if the people we are with get me talking about things I'm passionate about (books, teaching) and are asking ME questions and are talking to ME about specific things.  It isn't to leave him out... it's just our interests are not the same.   

So we are to go to dinner with a couple we both know, but he meets the guy for bible study every Tuesday evening.  We go next weekend, I think it is.  And you know what?  Thinking back on the last time we met, the husband was asking me questions about books I've read and he was interested in.... and hubby had accused me of monopolizing the conversation then.  Oh that this time I will just keep my mouth shut!  NOT.   I guess this is what happens when one is stuck in the house WORKING 5 days a week and not able to get out in the 'real world' and when we are around people, we monopolize the conversation!  And it isn't even about US... it's about things we are passionate about.  Does any of that make sense?

Well, it's after 7AM and I need to get busy on my job that pays for hubby to go out to eat 4-5 times a week.  See, that's the REAL reason he doesn't want me to quit work... he wouldn't be able to afford to go out to eat.  Just my opinion.... cause if I wasn't working, a lot of things would cease, including my buying books all the time.  It is what it is.  Get them while I'm working, right?  LOL

Ok - hope you have an amazing day and that you will be a blessing to others!

Blessings!

This will be short...

 Cause all I want to do this morning is sleep.... and I think I have about 15 minutes before getting on the work computer  - or at least getting my butt up to turn it on.  I did not sleep well again last night and I have no idea as to why.  Toss and turn. The only thing I can think of is that I took a short nap yesterday afternoon .... my afternoon was boring and I had trouble staying awake - so what's a 10 minute nap, right?  I've got to get alert here.  HAH - me alert...

I will be going over to Ms. Amy's this morning and getting the car out of the garage and parking it in our driveway behind my car.  The estate lady said she wanted it out of the garage and was going to park it in the driveway there - but I'm afraid that during their estate sale (which I think is supposed to be next weekend; may find out this morning), that someone will scratch it or something.  So I text'd the son and told him I was going to put it in our driveway and if I needed to go somewhere before it gets picked up, I'll drive it.  He text'd me back that he was completely fine with that.  I told him that I wasn't comfortable with the current plan.  So - when I can get my butt and get dressed, I'll go over and move to our driveway.

Yesterday was a fairly quiet day for work - I did have meetings to schedule and did those.  I need to get busy on extending meetings into 2024.  Can you believe it is almost here?  Christmas is less than 60 days away.  Guess you didn't want to hear that.  I've gotten started, and I'm glad I got the word out it will be small.  I'm not worried; Amazon delivers daily. LOL

Hubby's aneurysm doctor's visit went well and he is doing fine - goes back in six month for the year check, then may go to a yearly check after that.  That is a good report.  He's more concerned over his next doctor's appointment - is it today?  Next week?  I don't remember.  This one really scares him.

My sister told me that her husband's cancer has come out of remission and is running rampant again so he is on chemo pills for 28 days then off 7, then back on and then off, etc.  He chose to do experimental testing when he was diagnosed... but he has lived 7 - 8 years with it..  even being told in remission still had to do chemo pills at least a week each month.  Now he is back up to 28 days and off 7.  And so he is sick all the time.  I shouldn't shake my head... my sister's 'composure', 'attitude', changes so frequently..... when I made a comment yesterday about him 'not being able to stand spicy foods now' (she wanted taco soup so I told her to fix it for herself and fix him chicken noodle soup).... she admonished me with "Honey, he has to take chemo 28 days in a row now, and his stomach just can't handle it'. This was after she had told me that she fixed it every week last winter and he had gotten after her that he was tired of it.  Oh well.  Not my monkey, not my circus, and I didn't buy tickets, right?  

I think we are finally done - or have only bowl left of the chili I cooked Saturday night.  I may have that last bowl for lunch today.  We've eaten it about all week.  And it is still good. :-)  Ah.. I probably ought to fix something else tonight, huh.  I may have a roast I can put on.

I John 4:4 (NKJV):  "You are of God, little children, and have overcome them, for He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world."

Stand up straight and straighten your crown, you have Christ living in you, and He is greater than the one who lives in this world.  Tell the devil in the world to go back where he belongs... for Jesus is Lord of all, He is the King of all kings, and He alone is the Son of the Living God.  And when Jesus lives in you, you have all you need.

Blessings!

It was a talkative Tuesday, I think...

 I knew I needed to check in on my little brother, but when I called him, he said he was at the VA getting his teeth.  I guess he doesn't have any teeth on top, and only 4 on the bottom; or something like that.  So I told him I would call his wife and check in.  So I did... and we talked for almost an hour!  About everything!  I don't usually call the wife; usually just the brother.  No reason, other than it's my brother.  Got a lot of 'talk' out of the wife though!  Is that a sign who I need to call?  LOL  He ended up not getting his new teeth, I found out later... don't know what that deal is - perhaps I will call him later today and find out.

Then later in the day I called my little sister to check on her; it's been about a week or so since we talked.  And ended up on the phone with her nearly an hour.  She asked me to make an afghan for a friend of hers - and I will.  She kept saying prayer shawl, so I showed her what I have on hand. Nope, she didn't like those colors so much.  Then she kept talking about a red/white one I had made, and I had no clue for I knew I had not made a red/white prayer shawl.  When she said that this person likes to take naps and she can pull it up over her... I realized she was talking about an afghan, not a prayer shawl.  And the red/white she was talking about was the afghan she had me make for her granddaughter a couple years ago.  Yeah, she just gives me her orders and I make them.  I'm a simple gal with a simple stitch cause I don't know any fancy ones.  It gives me a project other than baby blankets so I make them and send to her.  I just do it.  So I got started on a red/white afghan last night.  I had the red already, will need to go pick up the white in the brand I'm using for the red so that it will match well.  She did offer to pay for this one, but I don't charge her; I just make them and send.  And that's ok.

Finally got things taken to Savers last night on my way to meet the daughter for our Tuesday 'girls night out'.  We met up at a restaurant and caught up on things while we ate and crochet'd.  I was in the mood for 'comfort food' so had tomato soup and a grilled cheese sandwich.  Glad to get the Savers bag 'delivered'; for some reason hubby just wouldn't take it so when I cleaned up the garage on Saturday, I put in my car and I dropped it off.  I guess that there are just some things I am going to have to do.  Not that it is a big deal.

Work today shouldn't be too bad.  I know I already have a meeting to schedule this morning as I was still waiting on information last night and left it in my inbox.  Shouldn't be too busy of a day - I don't think. I think I forgot to look to see what today's calendar looked like.  Yesterday wasn't bad at all... I grabbed a book that I wanted to re-read and got through 4 chapters of it before the phone calls.  Hubby was gone all morning for his bible study and his lunch with his friend.  Then he left about 3PM for a haircut and go to his evening bible study.  I know he has a doctor appointment this morning... I think this one is the aneurysm doctor; he had the ultrasounds last week for this appointment.  

Next week I think it is, he has the prostrate doctor.  He's still worried about what they will find .... I told him what my outlook had been when I was waiting for the results of my ultrasound the other week.... thinking it could stop him from worrying if he thought of it another way.  It didn't help.  I finally told him that I will probably die before him so quit worrying about it - and then he went off on how he couldn't live without me.  Sweet, but silly to even think that way.  

Philippians 4:6-8 (NKJV):  "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God, and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.  

Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy - meditate on these things."

What does all that say?  Quit worrying about things that you cannot change!  Quit stressing over your health if you are doing all you can to remain healthy.  Quit worrying about what's going on with your children and grandchildren - and in our case - our great grandchildren; it doesn't do any good to worry about the outcome of things. 

What does good, is praying for them.  Praying for their hearts and minds to be covered with the blood of Jesus Christ, that they will see Him in His glory, that all will go well with them.  Worrying about things doesn't change a thing.  We can worry all we won't - but nothing will change because we worried.  But I guarantee you, when you PRAY, you get results!  Now mind you, it may not be the results you are wanting.... that happens way too often for me.... but when I pray, and place that child or that situation in God's hands, I take my hands off and let Him deal with it as only He knows how.  Sometimes times we all need to learn a lesson from the situation.  We don't want to; but perhaps we need to learn to either do something differently, or not do something at all!  

Sometimes circumstances happen that are not of our doing.  Those can be painful for all involved.  Stressful.  Unwarranted grief and financial loss.  But when we give it to God, He will bring beauty from the ashes of your life.  But if you stay in that life and wallow in it and woe is me... I don't think you will even see the blessing of God or any answers.  Sometimes you just have to trust God that He knows best on how to take care of a situation.  Give it to Him, and trust Him for the outcome - no matter what it is.

I prefer to pray about a situation, give it to God, and let Him deal with it.  When He brings it back to mind, I again offer it up to Him, and again take my hands off of it.  There are some situations there is just nothing I can do but pray and support those involved.  I have to trust God for any outcome.

And so do you.  Give those situations to God - ask Him to take care of it.  Trust Him to do it, and quit taking the problem back to worry about!

Blessings!

Coffee is strong, but...

 coffee just isn't 'doing it' this morning for me.  I'm tired.  I don't know why I had so much trouble staying asleep last night.  I kept waking up throughout the night and would be wide awake. Then try to go back to sleep was almost impossible.  I forced myself to not look at the clock or my watch.  No, it wasn't 'dinging' during the night.  My watch alarm did go off at 4AM, which I turned off - pretty much in my sleep as I remember turning it off - and then I went to sleep.  Hubby got up sometime after that.  I awoke about 4:50AM or so and knew I needed to get up.  And I cannot believe that I have fallen asleep in here while I was praying.  I'd start praying, and to sleep I went.  I guess I need to pray with open eyes for awhile.  I don't know what is going on with me to have such rough nights lately.  I pray over my children and give them to God so I'm not worried about them.  Maybe I need to have another quiet time at night so that my mind will be totally at rest so I can sleep?  I just can't seem to get enough rest, although I still go to bed at my usual time.  

Yesterday was busy, boring, and one of those days.  Lots of meetings to schedule; some I should have scheduled and just didn't want to deal with it, had lunch with an 'old' (in time years) friend, did a run over to Macys to pick up an order.  To the gym last night; visited Ms. Vicky as she had called and wanted me to come over.  Back home for about an hour and then to bed.  Too much excitement in one day?

Hubby has his Bible study this morning so I do have some alone time - if I'm not work busy, maybe I can sneak in a nap on a short break?  Instead I probably ought to get on the treadmill.  But I know I have things I really need to get done that I've been putting off (extending meetings into 2024) so I really need to get that completed.  I'm just in a 'I don't want to work' mode, I think.  Don't want to take time off work for what would I do?  I'd have to take hubby with me in between his activities.  I just want to run away all by myself - seriously - and just be alone with God for a few days.  I know He can straighten me out.  He always does.  I'm sleeping too much in my quiet time and not giving Him time to talk with me.  I do good to get a few prayers out some mornings as I have to keep an eye on the clock.  And of course, I HAVE to write in here!  How could you survive without my ramblings of nonsense even one morning?

Just finished reading in Genesis this morning about Jacob wrestling with God as he escapes from Laban, his mother's brother.  Do you remember the story?  He is on his way to see Esau, his brother, and he is scared.  He divides his wives and children, his flocks, his servants and sends them on ahead.  He stays and tries to sleep when he finds himself wrestling with God.  Guess who won!  Jacob's name was changed, and he limped from that time on.  Read it - great story.  Understand what is going on.  Check it out.  Genesis 32.  Actually read a chapter or two before that and you can see what is going on.  Jacob's name meant deceiver, I think, and he was a good one.  But that all changed when God got ahold of him!

Just like our lives change when God gets ahold of us!  He doesn't force us to change.  It is our choice to change, because we want to be like Him.  Some of you may have experienced that in your life.  Some of you have yet to experience that peace and love in your life.  I pray that someday you will find Him and allow Him to work in you and through you, and change your life.

Proverb 9:10 (NKJV):  "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding."

In this scripture Solomon states that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, but the fear he is referring to is in terms of the knowledge of the Holy One.  For wise, skilled living in the world, especially today, God requires above all, a right understanding of His holiness and a reverent submission to His ways.  God is so much wiser than we are - no matter how wise we think we are.  When we understand Who God is, and submit to His ways, that He alone is Holy, our lives would be so much easier to live, and so much more fruitful to us.

Do not fear the world and what it is coming to; what is going on - Fear God, for He is the One who created the world and all in it.   Not to be afraid of Him, but to fear Him.  There is a difference.  Do you know it?

Blessings!

Monday already?

I am not ready for Monday morning.  My mind isn't, nor is my body.  For some reason, Macy's decided to start sending me text messages at 3:45AM and of course the ding woke me up.  A couple other places sent me a text message too right after that.  Don't they realize I don't want messages at 3:45AM??  It woke me up and irritated, I turned over to go back to sleep - after all, I had at least 15 more minutes before I usually get up... but alas, I finally gave in and got up.  So I have been trying to go back to sleep in here and I may have for a little bit.  A very little bit.   I need to make some decisions about this 4AM time... maybe move it to 5AM?  But then, it scrunches my time with God and with being able to type in here some mornings. Oh well.  It is what it is.   I am not ready for Monday morning.

We had company for dinner last night and enjoyed a good time of good food and a good game of Mexican train.  (do you ever wonder if people from Mexico will press charges against the company that makes those and say they are 'scarred for life' because their country name has been used to play a silly game?)  Stupid people with NFL and whatever the baseball league names are.   I think I heard that the Indians, I forget which ones, are suing because the Washington Redskins were forced to change not only their name but the logo - which was a representation of one of their chiefs - who had posed for the photo.  People are stupid.  Not the Indians, but the people who push for silly name changes because they think someone might be offended.  And how many people (and animals) have they called 'stupid' and 'idiot' - and yet, they are never called out for labeling someone and degrading them.  Ok - I'm rambling and enough said.

We had an overall good weekend, I think.  Church with Jentezen Franklin yesterday was good - our church had Pastor Mike (our worship pastor) speak and he was awesome!   

Matthew 22:35-40 (NKJV):  "Then one of them, a lawyer, asked him a question, testing Him, and saying, 'Teacher, which is the great commandment in the law?'  

Jesus said to him, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.  This is the first and great commandment.  And the second is like it; you shall love your neighbor as yourself.  On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets."

One thing Pastor Mike brought up from this scripture, is that if we know God and are following Him, we love Him, BUT, the second commandment is harder - because you cannot love others if you do not love yourselves.  How can you love others if you don't love yourself?  For you treat them how you feel you should be treated.  If you don't love yourself, you treat others as unloved as well.  Does that make sense? The way Pastor Mike explained it made a whole lot more sense.   It was an awesome service and he spoke the Word and the Word was truth.  You just had to be listening and apply it to your self.  

Bottom line - Love God, and Love Others.   That is the first and second commandment.

I was able to watch almost all of the Perry Stone service yesterday afternoon.  It was a powerful service too.  In fact, it was so powerful, Jentezen Franklin, as whose church he was speaking, asked him to come back tonight and tomorrow night at 7PM EST to speak again.  He did say one thing that I picked up on....

The war in Israel with Hamas is not a political war.  He said it is a 'religion' war.  If Hamas wins and succeeds in killing all the Jews, then the god the Hamas people worship is real.  If Israel is not demolished... then their God is real.  Well, we know which God is real... but it put a new twist on what is happening right now.    

Perry Stone gave a lot of information about the history and what is going on now... very interesting - and even more so about how the devil is doing his thing in the world.  I will have to watch tonight's program later as I have my gym appointment at 5PM and it will start at 4PM here.  I can listen to part of it before I head over.  I thought about changing my appointment but decided against it.  I've already been told it's 'legs' tonight... sure hope I can walk to my car afterwards!

So how are you doing on the 'loving others' situation?  Do you love yourself to where you can love others?  Maybe you need to sit down and think about it.  What is it about yourself that you don't 'love'?  We usually think about our appearance, our hair, our weight, our looks.... but let's take a look at the inside - for that is what God sees.  What is it on the inside of us that we don't like?

Is it our attitude?  Maybe we need to change it!  Maybe it is our behavior?  Maybe we need to relook at how we react to things.  Why not take a few minutes and just do an internal evaluation and see what it is that you DO like about yourself - and what you DO NOT like about yourself.  Then see what you need to change so that you can love others like you love yourself.

Some of us will need to make great changes, ya think?  I read in my devotional this morning about this guy who was constantly praying to God after he married, that God would change his wife.  He didn't go in to specifics, but that he was always praying that God would change his wife.  His wife woke up one night and found him downstairs and when she asked him if all was ok, he exploded on her and told her that he was praying that God would change her into the woman he wanted her to be... Hurt, she went back to bed without saying anything.  A little later God spoke to the man and told him it wasn't his wife that needed to be changed; it was him.  That brought about a whole nother outlook.  

Maybe we all need to look at what we want changed in others and see what we need to change in ourselves.  Maybe it is 'us'.... something to think about.

Blessings!

Trusting Jesus.... He will always make a way

To hubby's dismay, I did not cook breakfast yesterday and I just ate a piece of toast with peanut butter on it.  I did get out in the garage yesterday to clean it up - but didn't accomplish what I wanted to.  I had put together shelving several months ago - incorrectly.  I decided to do it right yesterday, emptied the shelves and put them together correctly.  Then I put together another shelf I had bought.  I have one more - which I don't think we need, so now to decide to take it back or see if one of the kids could use it.  It's plastic, 4 shelves.  Not real strong, but strong enough to hold boxes. It's a Walmart $18 deal so no biggie.

I did accomplish getting rid of some Amazon boxes, fixing the shelves correctly (that was work), and putting together the other shelving and putting things back on the shelves.  I should have started earlier; but didn't start until about 9AM... and I worked out there until about noon.  And I must say I think I've paid for it too.  My nose kept running constantly, I was drenched in sweat (and I don't sweat).  I didn't even get to the cabinets I wanted to go through.  Another cooler day, I think.  But, hubby came out and we did get some things taken over to the neighbor's dumpster that will be taken on Monday.  We had this rug from our 'old' house still on the side of the garage - finally told hubby since he wouldn't take it to Savers to throw in dumpster.  He argued with me that it wouldn't fit in his car.  It would, I know it would; he just didn't want to deal with it.  That is a big difference.  Anyway - it's out of the garage and when I got my things put away, hubby did sweep the garage floor so it is looking pretty nice right now.

But being out in the 'heat/humidity' of the garage took it's toll on me.  My head was pounding most of the afternoon; I took an allergy pill to stop the runny nose.... and late last night I realized I grabbed a 'non-drowsy' one... because my mind would not go to sleep, no matter how tired the body was.  Eventually I did, of course, and was awake about 4:45AM this morning.  Got a busy day today so won't have time for a nap.....I don't think. :-)

Jentezen Franklin is online now with the last message on 'Signs of the Times' - Perry Stone speaks at 2PM our time - if you haven't heard about him, he has more to say about the end times.  He will be at Free Chapel, in case you want to watch it.   I'm hoping I can get things to where I can watch it, but will see.  I got errands to run this afternoon.

Ephesians 1:3-6 (NKJV):  "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ, just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love, having predestined us to adoption as sons by Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the good pleasure of His will, to the praise of the glory of His grace, by which He made us accepted in the Beloved."

Did you catch that?  "to the praise of the glory of His grace, by which He made us accepted in the Beloved."

Jesus is our Beloved, for He is Beloved of God.  It is to His praise, to His glory, in His grace, that he has cleansed us, forgiven us, and set us free from the world..... all by His grace.... and by His grace, by His sacrifice of the Beloved Son, Jesus Christ, we are accepted.  Hallelujah!

Psalm 118:26 (NKJV):  "Blessed is He who comes in the name of the Lord.  We have blessed you from the house of the Lord."

So where do you stand today?  Are you still living life the way YOU think it should be lived?  Or have you chosen to allow Jesus to be Lord of your life, to be the CENTER of all that you do?  I pray that you have allowed Jesus to live as Lord, to be the center of your life.  You will find there is no other way to live.  It doesn't mean everything will be perfect for you, but through it all, you have peace.  And that peace is nothing like you have ever experienced.  Oh that you would know and confess Jesus as Lord!

Jesus is coming soon - the signs of the times identify that.  Read Revelations - it tells you what will happen.  Do not take the mark of the beast... but stand firm in Christ, no matter what.  No matter what comes against you, even if it costs you your life.  Stand firm for Jesus.  He is the only way to live.

Blessings!

I got plans for today....

 and I'm getting a late start, for sure - and it is on me that I am!  Hubby was snoring extra loud last night so since I didn't get to sleep BEFORE him, his snoring kept me awake.  Then Maria calls me at 10PM!  We are in bed!  She knew we went to bed early!  I let it go to voicemail the first time - I thought - and then she called back so I finally got up and answered my phone, which I keep in another room.  (My watch rings too so I know if I get a call)   She was calling to tell me that the cover for the keyboard was left on the porch and I needed to go get it.  I told her I'd get this morning - which I have done already.  That was what she was calling about.  Seriously.  Couldn't leave a voicemail, had to keep calling.  

I really had trouble going to sleep after that for I had been up and walking and the body was awake.  The body was tired, but the mind was busy working in overtime.  I don't know what time I fell asleep, but finally arose a bit after 5AM and tried to go back to sleep in here - and I think I did for awhile.  Hubby actually went to the gym this morning at 6AM.  He said he knew better than ask (tell) me to go... and he's right.  My intent is to work out in the garage today - going through cabinets.  The dumpster is still next door until Monday and Maria was telling all the neighbors to throw things in it - they haven't even covered the bottom of the dumpster cause the estate lady told them not to throw anything away - even half bottles of shampoo will sell in an estate sale - and they paid $500 for the dumpster for a week!  I doubt seriously we will have much to throw away; most things I would pass on to Salvation Army or Savers anyway.  Hubby is back from the gym and hinting at going to breakfast but I told him I wasn't done in here.  I'm hoping he doesn't ask, for if I don't agree and go, he will get cranky.  And there is nothing like a cranky hubby.  Especially mine.  And I have work to do in the garage.  Maybe he won't ask.  Especially since I put on grubby clothes, I don't want to go anywhere.

I ought to put something in the crockpot for dinner tonight, but nothing is thawed out.  But, half hour or so in cold water will do the trick.  Hmmm.... or just fix fish tonight... I don't know... need to figure out something.  I got out of cooking dinner last night.  Hubby's tummy wasn't doing good so I told him to eat 1/2 peanut butter sandwich.. and I can't remember if I even ate.. oh yes, I ran over to the mall for a bit, and on my way back I stopped at - gasp! - McDonald's and picked up their fish sandwich.  I used to like them a lot - but last night it had no flavor whatsoever.  But, I got one for hubby and I and that was dinner.  

Psalm 40:8 (NKJV):  "I delight to do Your will, o my God, and Your law is within my heart."

We all know the laws of God - most is common sense, right?  Don't do certain things - we know that - we know that if we do certain things, there will be consequences.  It's just like the Ten Commandments - when God says 'Thou shall not..." that means don't do it because He wants to protect us.  It isn't to restrict us, it is to be protected.  Just like we as parents will tell our children not to do something, we want to protect them.

When we start to do something, God doesn't take us from the temptation to keep us from doing it; sometimes we get our hands slapped because we are reaching out for that temptation.   Same as we do for our little children at times.  We must slap their hands (lightly, not hard, after all, they are learning) and tell them 'NO'.  That's how they learn they shouldn't touch, they should take, they should do that thing.  Removing the temptation from them doesn't teach them not to do something.  Just like God doesn't remove the temptation from us, we need to learn that we shouldn't touch it.  Does that make sense?

My daughter-in-love taught me a lesson like that many, many years ago.  She was quietly getting after her daughter who was doing something she shouldn't.  As I watched the scene unfold, mama lightly smacked the child's hand and told them, you do not touch this, because if you do, it will hurt you (can't remember what it was; might have been a light socket).  Once again the child reached for what she was told 'no'... and mama again lightly smacked her hand and explained why. The child finally understood that mama wasn't keeping her from something fun, but from something that could harm her.  That 'lesson' spoke to me because I wasn't raised that way.  We won't go in to how I was raised, but this daughter-in-love has always had a gentle spirit around me and in raising her children.  She taught me lessons I wish I had known with my own children; perhaps they would have turned out differently and raised their children differently as well.

When we delight in doing what God wants us to do, things like reading our Bible, going to church, we bring such delight to Him.  But even more than that, it is living a life that honors Him.  Choosing to teach our children about Him; letting our children know that He is the Lord of our life and that we choose to follow Him.  That is what brings delight to our Heavenly Father - and that is what also brings joy to our hearts.

Following God is the best choice I have ever made.  I truly wish I had known when I was growing up - what I know now.  I had the head knowledge of who God is... but I didn't have the heart knowledge.  And that knowledge between head and heart make a world of difference.

Need to get up and get out in the garage - or go to breakfast - whichever gets to come first.  Hope your day is amazing.

Blessings!

I was 'off' a day...

 I did stop in to see Maria yesterday.  She invited me in to the house for a few minutes.  I know they took a lot of furniture....  4 men, 4 hours, to load the truck.... but honestly, I didn't see much missing!  Lots of furniture still at the house - kitchen table 2 chairs, dining room table, china cabinet, sewing cabinet (I want to measure that one and see if my machine would fit), two twin beds.... an antique dresser or two or three.. I don't remember.  Anyway - lots left.  Things all over the floor.  I didn't see the keyboard so asked about if it had gotten packed and she said no, it was standing up in the corner, and after they leave I can come over and get it.  Made me feel somewhat awkward... oh well.  I only stayed a few minutes and found out they weren't leaving until this afternoon to head to a hotel near the airport, flying out tomorrow.  I just told her I would like to tell her goodbye since I probably will never see her again.  Joe, her brother, touched base with me yesterday on the car and will be having someone pick it up next week.  Then, basically, I'm done with the house and everything in it.  It's a bittersweet feeling.  I do hope we get nice neighbors.  It would be nice if someone around my age, who isn't sick, who is somewhat active, and even someone who still works, so that we'd have something in common.  But then, when would I find the time - I'm still touching base with Ms. Diane (must go see her tonight) and Ms. Vicky (must go see her tomorrow sometime).  If they get the $425K they want for the place, it will raise the value of our side, although our house is smaller.

Maria had told me to stop by last night as they sit outside with their drinks... but when we got back from dinner, I decided not to.  If she called and invited us over, I would go and visit, but I told myself they were tired (he continued to work his job as she did whatever) and needed the time to refresh.  They didn't call, so hubby and I read and relaxed until bedtime.

Decided to work on partial projects for awhile and try and finish some of those.  I have several things I've started but never finished over the last few years.  I did get one finished yesterday (and already gave it away), but have so much more sitting around I want to do.  I have a big project I'd like to do and give for Christmas, but will see if I can get it done.  If not - there is always next year.

Hubby has another test this morning.  Not sure what was going on with him yesterday.  He got the test done he needed to, then he came home and fixed himself breakfast as he was 'starving' from having to fast 12 hours (it's a mental thing; he wasn't starving, trust me).  Then he said he wasn't feeling well, and that he felt exhausted.  That did concern me a bit and I kept an 'ear open' for him throughout the day.  But he was pretty much fine last night.  He did get his nap in yesterday while the baseball game was on the TV.  

Psalm 51:12 (NKJV):  "Restore to me the joy of Your salvation, and uphold me by Your generous spirit."

Most of us learned that verse in the NIV which has .... "and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me."  I think we all could use a willing spirit to sustain us, to help us through life.  Sometimes we way His joy, but we aren't willing to put forth the effort required to enjoy or even get His joy.  Do you agree?  We THINK we want this or that and this or that will make us happy, but in reality, it doesn't.  Even if we get what we think we want.... soon the 'joy' or 'excitement' of getting it wears off and it's another 'Meh', as my youngest son likes to say.  It's like, 'Ok, I got it, so what?'

Psalm 51 is what David cried out to God after Nathan confronted him on his sin with Bathsheba.  You remember that story, don't you?  EVERYone remembers the story of David and Bathsheba!  But when the prophet Nathan confronted David, he confessed his sin to God.  He realized why he felt so unhappy.  He understood at the confrontation the reason why his unrest in his soul.  

David, a man after God's own heart (by God's own admission!) - felt lost and alone.  And that is what happens to us when we sin against God.  Sometimes it is the little things that we do, or we let 'slide', that build up after awhile.  But soon, our love for God starts to get cloudy.  Oh, we may still go to church and/or listen to a message on TV or the computer, but what is missing is the RELATIONSHIP we had with God.  And that is what David was missing.

David confessed his sin with Bathsheba in Psalm 51 and it is a psalm that every one should read frequently, and confess their sin(s) before God, and have their relationship with Him restored.  In fact, I'm going to challenge you right now, today.  Grab your Bible and open it to Psalm 51.  Take some time to read it, then start over and meditate on the words that are there.  When you put your heart in to the reading, you will find the peace that you have been missing for years, flow over you and you will feel restored and renewed.  I promise you this, if you will sincerely and truly read it.  I confess; I do read it frequently, for many times I have forgotten things that I need to confess and have my heart restored.

God's Peace is the best peace ever.  If you feel empty, alone, without hope - you are the one who has moved away from the One who brings it all to you.  He brings love, friendship, hope.  He is El Roi, the God who sees.  He is El Shaddai, God Almighty.  He is Jehovah Shalom, your peace.

Take a few minutes now - and seek Him.  And find your Shalom, Shalom - peace, peace.

Blessings!

I'm feeling lazy...

 It's cooler out and I wanted to sleep in this morning!  In fact, I did go back to sleep - intentionally - this morning for awhile - and of course now I'm rushing to get this done - at least a few lines - before turning on my work computer and getting started on my day.  Hubby has had his shower and is getting ready for doctor visit early this morning - some kind of test - not sure what exactly - but I think it is the one where they do an ultrasound of the abdomen... not sure, but am guessing because he had to fast 12 hours and make sure no coffee, nothing carbonated, etc.  Guess I will find out how it went when he returns.  Then he has to fast again tonight for another test tomorrow; I forget what that one is too.  See what happens when one prefers sleep to thinking?  I can't remember anything.

I've learned I need to stay off facebook.  Christmas is 66 days away (didn't you want to hear that?) and I have started seeing things - and ordering - things that I think would be perfect for 'someone'.  And some things are starting to arrive so I've had to get started on my list so that I STOP early.  I have told everyone I am really cutting back this year and I'm really trying hard to do that.  I did order myself a small tool set (hope it comes when hubby isn't home) cause every time I get in to his tool box for something I get in trouble.  He fusses at me.  So, I have hinted for some time that I could use my own... so now I bought myself my own tool set.  Unless I decide to give to someone for Christmas..... I mean, how often would I use it, anyway?  sigh.  But I'm starting to write things down on my list and now will need to start 'bugging' my children and grandchildren for some ideas for them - or who knows what they might get!  Hmmm I wonder if the two boys who have their own place could use some more kitchen stuff.... 

The estate lady was next door yesterday and the mover arrived and loaded up the truck as well.  I haven't seen nor talked with Maria since Sunday.  I do need to touch base with her today for they leave tomorrow.  She had said I could have the keyboard and stand Ms. Amy had....  will need to touch base and see if she remembers.  If not, no big deal.  I want a big trunk she had there too, and told her so, willing to pay for it - but she may have taken it with her.  Much of the furniture, as I've mentioned before, was made by her grandfather or great or great great grandfather.  Lots of antiques.  And I'm not willing to pay antique prices either; don't need nor want that bad!   At last, with everything being turned over to a real estate agent, I no longer need to have anything to do with next door.  The car will be shipped soon to the brother in Noblesville.  He talked with Maria yesterday and was to get it arranged.  Once that is done - I no longer need a key, for upkeep and all is not my problem.  

Psalm 37:4 (NKJV):  "Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart."

That scriptures sounds like the Lord will give us everything we desire, doesn't it?  As long as we 'delight ourselves in Him'.  Nope, it don't happen that way.  Why?  Because sometimes are desires are not healthy; sometimes our desires are wrong; sometimes are our desires are just stupid.

For example, my heart desires the keyboard next door.  Do I want it?  Perhaps.  Do I need it?  Absolutely not.  What will I do with it?  I have no idea; I don't know how to play it.  But is it my desire to have it?  Of course it is!   Will I get it?  Who knows!

Ok - bad example.  Sometimes, even when we delight ourselves in the Lord we don't always get what we desire for it isn't the BEST.  And God wants us to have the BEST of everything.  Why should we, as God's children, 'settle' for whatever?  And that is what we do, many times.  We get the cheaper item instead of waiting - and getting the best item.

Say that you have a desire for a specific car and you are saving your money for it.  You have a vehicle to drive right now, but you really, really, want a certain car.  So you start saving, and you get a certain amount and you decide you have enough money so you go looking, only you find a cheap model of what you want, without all the gadgets you want.  You have that much money.  Do you want to settle for THAT car, when if you continued saving, you could get the one car you have been dreaming about? Sometimes we 'settle' in our impatience.

But God wants to give us all that we desire - but He wants us to desire Him, to delight in Him, first and foremost.  Then be patient; God isn't finished with what He wants to do IN us, and FOR us.  Wait on His blessings - they are coming!

Blessings!

He actually 'scared' me last night....

 As I was getting ready to leave for 'girls night out' and head to my daughters', I picked up my keys that were laying on the counter next to our Alexa portal.  I must have touched it as I picked them up, or it 'sensed' my hand next to it - I don't know - but as I turned around, hubby is standing in front of the portal and staring at it.... and he says... "did that just turn on by itself?"  Now mind you, we have had it right where it is, for about two years.  I often have it playing music.  He has 'talked' to Alexa to turn on or turn off.  I paused and said, "perhaps I brushed against it when I picked up my keys and it turned on."  He continues to stare at it and says "will it shut off by itself?"   Now that may sound like a simple question for someone who has never seen an Alexa portal before, but I must admit that his questions scared me.  Lately, a lot of his questions scare me.

Earlier, as I was preparing to leave, he asked me if I had any money.  Usually I don't, but recently I've taken to try and pay cash for everything rather than use my debit card so I did have some.  I handed him a $20 bill and he asked if I had anything smaller, that he needed to go to the bank (as a side comment).  I told him I had a $5 but what could he buy with that?  (Tuesday nights he meets with his friend and usually has dinner).  He just said he'd bring back my change.  THEN he gets up and heats up leftovers for his dinner.  $5 would have been enough if he just wanted coffee, right?  Unless the coffee is served in a gold cup.  But at IHOP?  He mentioned my change was on the counter when I got home - but I haven't picked it up yet.

It's just the little things that are out of the ordinary like this that scare me.  Plus our trainer told me the other day that he has noticed changes in hubby since he started with him in April.  I am thinking I need to send a letter to his doctor and ask him to do more extensive tests on mental.  What he does now (per hubby) to test his mental status is talk with him, ask some direct questions, then the doctor leaves the room for 5-10 minutes and then comes back in and asks the same questions.  Hubby answers them the same way so the doctor says he is fine.  I have been praying for hubby more than usual... I don't know how to deal with this.  I try to be calm and respond appropriately, but last night, that scared me.  Lord HELP!!  

And you know he notices it too when he has asked me to drive the last 3-4 times we have gone someplace together.  His excuse for asking me to drive is he has to watch his gas as he has 3-4 doctor appointments this week.  (so put gas in the car, right?)    I did check the bank account this morning that he controls - it is way down from what it used to be, but I skimmed through everything and it all looks appropriate.  Nothing out of whack, other than he spends over $100 a week on his lunches and dinners with his friends.  But hey - that's his life now, I can't take that away from him.  AND, I'm making him pay for his own training.  You know I can't do anything without him doing it too - so I make him pay for it.  And he does keep it current.  I can't afford for both of us so it's ok.  He needs to 'own it'.

Psalm 27:14 (NKJV)  "Wait on the Lord; be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart; wait, I say, on the LORD!"

That wasn't really the scripture I was thinking of putting next - but it speaks to me, somewhat.  Yes, I'm struggling with the current situation with hubby, but I know that the Lord is going to help me get through this odd time.  I can't call it a strange time, or even an awkward time... it is just.............. time.  I will have these (if I don't already!) times as well.... I just haven't been around people - surprisingly, since I love 'old' people and have pretty much hung around them - and now live in the area with them!)... I just don't know how to handle some situations.  But obviously, I'm doing something right.  I am not bashing hubby for getting old... far from it.  We all will (or are) go through this stage at some point - and that is a good thing for it means we are still alive.  I guess I will be needing to learn how to respond (not in surprise shock) when unusual questions come up.  Who are these women who are always so patient with their hubbys?  I am afraid I don't have much patience anymore... and I always thought I did.  Does that make me a bad person?

But it is a good scripture for it reminds me that the Lord can get me through anything - even this.  And if I bring it to Him every morning, every time something troubles me, I know that He will strengthen me and help me deal with whatever comes.  Part of my sharing so much on here is that some family members read... and it keeps them updated as well ... and they know how (and I pause here because I can't think of the right word to use) crazy I can be when things are out of the norm.  And this is definitely out of the norm for me.  LORD HELP!  I need His strength, His courage, and I need His kind patience.  He can work through me.  I just need to get out of the way so that He can.

Blessings!

I don't think it is just me...

 which I may or may not get back to that comment later... just thinking of what to share this morning.  It's a nice cool (compared to some mornings) morning and I'm nice and cozy under my blanket.  I really could lay back and go to sleep, I think.  But I have managed to keep from it.  I think it is the cooler mornings that everyone wants to sleep just a little bit more.  And, yes, I COULD sleep an additional hour or so - but then I wouldn't get my quiet time in, I wouldn't be able to ramble in here, and well, I just wouldn't have my alone time with God.  That is too valuable to me.  It's like fasting, but instead of giving up food, I (try to) give up sleep so that I can read His Word and spend some time with Him.  Evenings are much easier to give up sleep - because I haven't gone to sleep yet - but when I am snug as a bug in a rug in my bed (or like now, my chair) it is hard sometimes to get up or even to stay awake to read.  And I still wish I had more time to myself that I could read as long as I want to.  Of course, then, this nonsense that I write in here would hit at different times of the day and you'd lose interest, right? :-)

Not sure what is going on this morning as I have had a case of the sneezes - frequent sneezes since I got up.  Will take my olive leaf extract and get my immune system back up so I don't get sick - and if I do - it will get me through it faster and easier.  

Went to the gym last night and my trainer was somewhat frustrated that the gym was crowded enough that he couldn't get me to all the equipment that he wanted to.  But I did get a good workout in.  Hubby went with me to walk the treadmill and ride the bike for the short time I was there.  And here is where my title comment may come in.  I notice things about hubby.... and others that have been around him different times, that they notice specific things..... but last night, as I related the story about the weekend... where I was 'told' I was going to the gym on Sunday after church - and no one went.... and I laughed and told our trainer that I don't like being told I have to go - that takes my enjoyment out of going.  If he had asked if I would like to go, I would have shared the errands I felt I needed to do, then perhaps after.  But no, it was when I was told or nothing.  So it was nothing.  Anyway... the comment was made something about 'noticing that if I didn't come at other times, hubby wouldn't come either'... he only came when he had a session... and sometimes had difficulty .... not sure if it was with understanding the exercise or completing it.... but we all know hubby much prefers sitting down and talking.  He comes home with all the conversations he has with our trainer and when I come home he always asks "did Trayden tell you...." and I'd say 'no'.  Now in all truthfulness, Trayden and I do talk about his personal life some... but I am not the type that digs in with questions.  Anyway... Trayden (our trainer) mentions occasionally that he notices things about hubby.  And I get it... It's hard getting old.  But there is no preventing it.  I'm not making light of the situation..... I'm terrified about what the future could mean as hubby ages.  He already has mood changes because of his own frustration.... and I even have mood changes because I get frustrated at the changes in hubby as well.  I have no clue how to deal with this.  And it scares me.

But I love our trainer and he cares for both of us.  He tells me what exercises he is doing to help hubby be able to have the strength to walk.  He focuses a lot on strength building in his legs, for he has seen when hubby is on the floor doing an exercise, he can barely get back up, and when he does, he sways until he can stablize himself - one time our trainer said he had to hold him in a bear hug for about a minute before hubby got where he could stand alone.  And you know me, if I'm down on the floor working and it's time to get up, I refuse help from the trainer... I WILL do it myself!  I just tell him to give me a few seconds, so I don't get dizzy, then I get up.  But I am also 12 years younger so I should be able to get up by myself.   

Psalm 25:14-15 (NKJV):  "The secret of the Lord is with those who fear Him, and He will show them His covenant.  My eyes ae ever toward the Lord for He shall pluck my feet out of the net."

Reverential fear of the Lord arises from an understanding of His holiness.  The person who truly fears God will carefully heed his instructions and conform his or her life to what God teaches, avoiding life's net or dangers.

And the net or dangers of this world are so real.  They are subtle, and they easily draw us in to sin and sometimes we are not even aware of it.  Unless we are 'there'.  How often have you found yourself in a situation or place that you know you should not be in?  What do you do about it?  You have a choice, you know.  You can stay in the sin, or you can get up and get out of it.  

Do you fear God enough that you will get up and get out of it, confess the sin to the Lord, ask His forgiveness..... and walk rightly?  So many people have lost that fear of the Lord.  Oh He doesn't want you to be afraid of Him, nor of what He can do to you.  But the fear of the Lord is to hold Him in reverential awe.  He is above ALL things.  Nothing is greater than Him.  His Name is even greater than all.  All power is His alone.  He alone is Great - He alone is God.  It would do you good to fear Him; not be afraid of Him; but to hold Him in reverential awe.

He created you.  He knew you, before you were even created.  He knows every single thing that you have done - and every single thing that you will do.  And He is still willing to forgive you when you come to Him with a repentant heart.  He loves you so much that ... well, He sent His one and only Son, Jesus, to die on the cross for you.   That's our Father's love for you.  It is that great.  He deserves all the worship, honor and praise that we give Him, and so much more.  Why not take a moment and just pause to tell Him 'thank you' for all He does for you?

He is a good, good, Father.

Blessings!

Visiting Maria is so funny at times.....

 Maria, Ms. Amy's daughter, is next door, along with her husband.  They both are a hoot, for sure.  After church, lunch, and doing a couple errands yesterday, I saw the garage door up and the front door open so went over to give Maria a hug and chat for a few minutes.  LOL  She wouldn't let me leave.  She wanted to sit down and talk, so we got chairs from the garage and took in to the courtyard to sit.  Her husband had gone to the store to get some groceries.  She asked me to pray for her to calm her down, which I did.  She is one unique woman.  

Maria went on and on and how overwhelming and hard this is.  The realtor is to come today; the movers to see what she wants shipped to Florida on Tuesday, the estate person on Wednesday, the movers on Thursday to pack up and ship, and they leave Friday.  The estate person told them to not worry about everything, throwing things away, etc; not even half bottles of shampoo!  They said people will actually buy those!  Maria gave me a couple things - a couple embroidered plaques hanging on the wall - she tried to tell me her mother had done them, but on one there is written a note that 'a new Christian woman in India' had created it.  Also a Pioneer Woman cookbook (me and my cookbooks).  She also said I could take the keyboard; they were going to, but they decided to get a player piano to put in their new house.  Hubby wasn't thrilled but too bad.  I've wanted one for years and he wouldn't let me get one.  No, I don't really play at all... but I wanted one to 'play' with... I'll have to keep it in here, I suppose, so that I don't disturb him.....  I think I'm getting too much 'stuff' in this house... besides looking cluttered, I don't have many places to put things - it's too small.

I visited with Maria and her husband most of the afternoon before calling hubby and asking if he wanted to come over to see them.  Over he came... and that's all I'm going to say about that.   We stayed probably 2 hours before I told him it was time to go home.  I'm sure Maria will be calling me this afternoon to come over and talk with her so she could tell me what she did today.  Bless her heart; she doesn't know what to do or where to start - and I get it.  She has this huge dumpster out front - and they really don't need it at all with having the estate people telling them to not worry about throwing things away - people will buy it, regardless - and what doesn't sale - that's what gets thrown away.  I asked that I get allowed to go through everything once it is set up for the estate sale; just to see if there is anything that I want - which I doubt - but one never knows.  

I guess I've rambled on enough about my temporary neighbors.  I hope we get nice people to move in next door when it gets sold.  I still can't believe she thinks they can get $425K out of the place because it has 5 fruit trees and is a corner lot and 2K+ square feet.  But if she does, it will raise the price on our side so won't complain.  Honestly, I'd prefer a small house on a small lot that I could maintain... and yes, I'm probably 'too old' to do that now... but... I like my space and my privacy.  I miss having my own yard where I could have Sheeba run around.  I miss Sheeba.

Anyway - I need to stop looking back and look to the future - and yes, I still need to clean out cupboard and cabinets here.  Want to save my kids from having to do some of what Maria and her hubby are having to do.  

Psalm 19:14 (NKJV):  "Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my strength and my Redeemer."

These words written many centuries ago still ring true today.  Sometimes we allow out mouths to blurt out our thoughts (and I'm guilty of this too) and then we will say "Did I just say that out loud?" as to imply we didn't mean to say it.  But we really did. Do you agree?   I will make a smart aleck comment, and I will say it.... I admit it.  But sometimes, especially if it would have been a cruel statement, I keep it inside, which is a good thing.

But we all should reflect on the words that come out of our mouths for many times they are a reflection of what is going on in our heart and in our mind.  We spew words out in anger and frustration many times, when we really need to 'hear' them in our mind before we let them proceed out of our mouths.  Do we really want to say those words to hurt someone?  I don't think we do.  

Luke 6:45 (NKJV):  "A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart brings forth evil.  For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks."

We all need to 'hear' the words we are wanting to speak before we speak them.  We are called to build up others, and not tear them down.  To encourage them and exhort them, not tear down and destroy.  Listen to your thoughts before you speak them.  May all our words be kind and uplifting to everyone.

Something to think about.

Blessings!

It was just a note the other day....

 Unexpectedly, on Friday, I received a messenger note from someone I do not know.  Never heard of them, didn't know them.  I was asked "do you want to accept the message?"  I paused, and decided to check it out - and I'm glad I did.

This person said they were scrolling through a ministry facebook page and my name jumped out at them, and God told them to pray for me.  And pray she did, things that I needed to hear about restoration and love and hope.  It was before I was to go to my medical appointment.  Perfect timing.  See how God works?  I didn't know I needed encouragement, but He did.  And I sent a note back, thanking this person for praying for me.  And she responded again.  I've heard of strangers sending notes like that, but I had never received one before.  I've tried to think 'what' ministry facebook page I could have responded on that she would have seen my name - but I rarely post on anything so don't know what it could have been.  But I'm grateful for the note for it made my day.

I have Jentezen Franklin/Free Chapel on this morning as I type this - John Hagee is to speak - third week of the Signs of the Times.  It has proven to be a timely message, especially with the war going on.  I sure hope that you have taken the time to go to FreeChapel.com or go to You Tube and watch these last two weeks and this week. One more week of this series and it has been amazing.  I learned a lot of things that I did not know, even with reading Revelations several times!

Yesterday I got a lot done - and I was exhausted.  I canned 15 pints and 3 quarts of bread and butter pickles.  Plus did a run to Sam's Club to pick up more sugar and 'a few other things'.  Hubby went with me and commented "I knew you weren't just going to buy sugar!"  Haha - I didn't buy near as much as I would have had he not been with me!

Maria, Ms. Amy's daughter, is to arrive at the house today.  This next week will be interesting, for sure. She calls me frequently when she is next door - not that I can do anything, but she just wants someone to talk to besides her hubby, I guess.  LOL  But, she does have work to do so maybe she will be kept busy.  She plans to throw away things - but I'm not sure what other than cleaning out the cabinets and refrigerator of food that is there.  I imagine all have expired anyway.  It will be interesting how much of this dumpster she uses.  It may surprise me.  

And hubby has said that once we get home from church, he wants to change clothes and go to the gym.  Of course he does.  He was going to going to go with me Thursday night - then changed his mind. Said he would go Friday morning.  That didn't happen either.  Yesterday was the Notre Dame game (what a good game - 3 interceptions - or was it 4?!!)  So now, he wants to go today.  He knows I need to see Maria... and he knows I told her I'd be home between 12-1PM today to meet with her.  

2 Samuel 7:22 (NKJV):  "How great you are, Sovereign Lord! There is no one like you, and there is no God but you, as we have heard with our own ears."

Wow - this is a great message John Hagee is speaking this morning!  Next service will be at 8AM our time- sure hope if you have read this, that you will turn it on and watch it.

There is no one greater than our God.  He alone is Sovereign, He alone is Holy, Holy, Holy.  There is none like Him; not in the past, not in the present, and definitely not in the future.  

Seek the Lord now, for He is coming soon.  Do not have knowledge without God.  Read the truth, for the truth shall set you free.  Jesus Christ is the answer.  Period.  For you, and for this nation.  We have ignored and rejected Him, we must turn back to Him and follow Him.

You have a responsibility to share Jesus with your family.  Take it seriously.  If you aren't sure how; read.  There are many books; there are many messages given on how to share with your family.  Teach them to love Jesus first.  He alone is Lord.  Not video games, not TV shows, not jobs, not money.  Jesus alone is Lord.  Choose Jesus!

Blessings!

Trusting works - no matter what

 As I sat in the room after my tests yesterday (repeat tests; they thought they saw something the first time), I felt joy.  I was at complete peace.  I was alone, and God and I were having this conversation.  I could feel joy because if something was found, and if I died, I would be with Jesus.  But if nothing was found, and I lived, I could still share about Jesus to others.  It was a win win.  Just like Paul said....

Philippians 1:21 (NKJV):  "For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain."

I had several minutes alone after the tests.  Yes, I prayed before the tests that nothing would be found; that if anything HAD been there, it would no longer be.  I reflected on my life; have I made a difference in someone's life.  Oh, the devil was throwing thoughts at me too - 'they're taking a long time because they found something.  Your life is going to be miserable.  Think about how you will tell everyone you are going to die.  How will your children react at the news?...."  and on and on.  

I finally spoke to my mind and told the devil to go back where he belongs - HELL!  And I had such peace because I know that I know that I know, I am in the palm of my Savior's hands.  No matter what the results were.... I am first of all, HIS.  And He would walk with me, and carry me, through whatever came at me.

BUT - and here is the GOOD news!!   Whatever they thought they saw at my first testing.... they no longer could find.  Hallelujah!  I was not afraid; I was at peace.... and when they came back into the room after the radiologist read my reports from the two tests.... it was determined I was fine.  Follow up in one year as normal.  Yeah, it's a normal yearly test.  

And yes, I was thanking God and praising Him for the good report.  I know He isn't finished working IN me yet, and hopefully He will continue to direct me to where He wants me to be to share Him with others. I'm not sure what His plans are for me, but I have asked to keep me focused on Him and eyes opened to opportunities to share Him with others.

This morning, as I read in the New Testament, it's odd, but something drew me back to the beginning of my Bible.  I still don't know what, other than the Holy Spirit, but I believe I am to start over in my Bible once again now, rather than at the first of the year.  So I started reading in Genesis again.  There is so much treasure in my Bible!  I wish I had more time to read it.  I need to make more time, but I really do enjoy just reading it in here in my morning time... but with hubby leaving the TV off last night, I was able to read some in my Bible.  I just get distracted when others are around.  I want to focus on God's Word and inhale it; memorize it; know it.  

God changed my life; He changed who I was; He is making me into who He wants me to be.  After years of heartache and struggles, He has blessed me and has made life much easier.  I still go through heartaches, but He walks with me through them.  I truly am lost without Him holding me.

Until you have that type of relationship with Jesus, until you give Him yourself, you will never be satisfied.   You will never feel peace.  You will always feel troubled, confused, disoriented, and distracted by life.  You will feel like you are just missing 'something' that would make you whole.  Your family doesn't feel right.  So much uncertainty, distractions, confusion, frustrations abound.  And in the meantime, you cry out for peace, for joy, for comfort, for love.  You don't want to just know it, you want to feel it.  Yes, there is a difference.

For example, I know my children love me.  Well, I'm pretty sure they do.  But when I get a text, a phone call, a note, an acknowledgement of any kind - from one of them, I get the feeling I am loved.  Does that make sense?  If you stop and think about it; I think you have experieneced those emotions too.

Jesus gives us the peace, the love, the comfort that we seek.  He is the only way to the Father.  If you want to go to heaven to be with those you love who passed before you; grandparents, parents, siblings... you need to think about which way you are walking.  Are you walking to life, or are you walking to death?  Life is only found in Jesus.  Choose to live.  Following Jesus isn't hard at all.  It's all about your choices.

Keep looking up, Jesus is the only way to our Heavenly Father.

Blessings!