what brought on that question?

 This week I have been making myself get on the rebounder and 'walk' for 15-20 minutes.  I also have my hinge health exercises to do.  I've managed to do these every day for the past week.  Why?  Because I am in a challenge at work which counts steps.  And I created a team 'Jailbreak Walkers' cause I get points if I am the lead on the team (and the more points I get over the year to hit 70k points, I get $50 off my medical insurance every month).  I can't let 'my team' down and don't put forth any efforts.  I have 9 other people on my team - about 5 I do not know - and they apparently are 'runners' and are really moving us up in the challenge.  We are currently 74 out of 1074 teams.  Not bad, right?  I'm not a runner; I'm a walker.  And I now have to find the time to walk.  So in the evenings, after dinner, I get on the rebounder.

Last night, first I did my hinge exercises for my neck, my shoulders, my wrists.  Simple exercises.  I like doing these cause 1) it keeps me accountable (as does the walking above) and 2) I win prizes when I do exercises for so many days.  I just follow along with the video that is shown, and it records what I do.  So fair I've gotten a set of workout bands, and the other day my massage gun arrived. I didn't have to do anything for them but work out.  Win-win, right?

Anyway - I did the hinge exercises then got on the rebounder.  I would have used the treadmill, but I was barefoot and rule #1 I have learned to not walk on the treadmill barefoot; that's how I got plantar fasciitis a few years back.  So I do a mile on the rebounder, come in the front room and sit down with Jonathon Cahn's latest book The Altar of Pergamon  and started reading.  (It is really good, by the way - holding my interest!)   I then go into the front room and sit down and hubby looks at me and says, "I have a question for you.   Why are you all of a sudden making sure you get exercise in every night?  Why do you want to exercise at night?"  I tried to explain (again) that I have the leader in the challenge for work which records our steps, and although I usually have less than 6K steps every day, I need to 'do something' to do my part.  I sit all day; walking for a bit in the evening is all I do.  As for the hinge health exercises, I reminded him that I earn prizes, plus the exercises are to keep my neck loose and my shoulders and wrists from hurting.  I'm strengthening them.  "Well, I just wondered why."

Ok - the first thing I thought was 'if I was working outside the house, he would say I was exercising because I had a new 'man'.'  Trust me, I am definitely NOT interested in anyone!  Is his jealousy streak coming out again?  He didn't say anything other than that - but why the question?  Wouldn't it be enough that I am trying to remain strong and healthy?  I will admit, I wanted to say, "I have to keep my strength up so that I can catch you when you fall." but I withheld the words so that I didn't say them.  I'm not trying to put him down; I'm just trying to take care of me.  Have no idea why that question came up.

I have Morgan at 8a this morning and then a meeting this afternoon.  Yesterday I didn't have much to do either.  I probably ought to bring in some crocheting and work on that... but yes, I still do need to get the minutes done from the last board meeting, and I need to clean out more folders.  Oh yeah - I heard from Sue yesterday; she text'd me and we chatted for alittle bit.  She is enjoying retirement.  I'm so happy for her that she and Paul can now do things together.  

Philippians 2:3-4 (ESV)  Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility consider others more significant than yourselves.  Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.

How many times have we found ourselves putting ourself first before others?  We were in line first, right, and someone slipped in front of us... do we point it out to them and make a comment they stepped in front of us?  Or do we just smile and step back?  Do we always have to have the last word in a 'discussion'?  (I know I often make hubby mad because after a few words back and forth, I shut up and walk away)  How often do we 'read' into things that are not there?  Hubby and I had a few words yesterday afternoon.  Now he knows I've been making a list up for the son-in-law to fix when he comes out here in a couple weeks.  I've been told to make a list of things that need to be done.  Hubby doesn't do them, so if the SIL is willing to do them, why not?  Anyway, hubby's bathroom faucet has been leaking.  He came to the door of my 'office' and tells me he called our warranty company ($ each visit) to come out and fix it.  I didn't way anything, just looked at him.  So that started it.  I explained that the SIL would be here in two weeks, why would he call the warranty company?  SO then it escalated to it is his bathroom, and water is going everywhere on the cabinet, etc.  I just looked at him and then he says "why do you look at me like I'm stupid?"  I just shake my head and don't bother to respond.  He rants for a few more minutes and then storms off.  A little later I go into his bathroom to look.  Yes, the faucet is leaking.  Yes, the washcloth he has around the faucet is soaking wet.  Then I realize, that is the same washcloth that has been there for a long time, like in several days. Now it is has been leaking for awhile, I admit, but not that much.  However, he has left that washcloth there for weeks, I'm sure, and it was soaking wet.... because he never changed it out.  He didn't wring it out and put it back... and even so, do you know that a wet washcloth just attracts more water to hold in?  That's why we start out with a DRY washcloth, so that it will soak it up.  If you leave a wet one there, it will just continue to soak up water.  Or am I wrong?  Anyway, I took that green washcloth and laid it aside to dry... and I put a clean one around the faucet.  He hasn't said a word about it... he had to notice it.... I think. After all, he has used the sink.  But, not one word.  Anyway - he was angry last night - and I was shaking my head at why he couldn't wait.  After all, he told me, he doesn't have the tools to fix it himself.  And he said he wished he had a camera to have a look at my face when he first told me - he 'read' that I was angry he had done that - when in fact, I was 'dumbfound' he, after all this time, decided to call the warranty company to come out today to replace it..... two weeks before the SIL is here.  I just shake my head.  I just didn't respond.  Obviously this was very important to him and I made him feel stupid.  After all, he said, "it isn't your bathroom"!  And it isn't.  sigh.

Anyway - I've rambled on about nothing and I need to get dressed, get the work computer on so I can sign in, and get ready to leave by 7:30a to get to the gym.  Hubby is at his bible study. He will go see Chuck today but said he will be home early in case the plummer comes early.

Treat others kindly.  Many need it.  And many times, so do we.  Have an amazing day!

Blessings!

I've been dilly-dallying this morning....

 Because I have 'time' in my hands at the moment.  It's a Saturday and although there are a couple things on the calendar I could attend to this morning, I have chosen not to.... and here I still sit in 'my room', doing the scroll through Amazon.  No, I didn't buy anything, but I did try to - one for a Christmas gift (yes, I've started on those!) but when I hit order, it says out of stock, so that's my sign to not order anything.  Right?

I still haven't gotten my son's birthday gift to him.  I finished work yesterday then went into the kitchen to fix dinner, and as we sat down I remembered the gift - but by then I figured the DIL was gone from work. Maybe I can swing by his place some time this weekend.  I wonder if I can get out without hubby... oh yeah, he has a Notre Dame game today... I wonder what time it is....  I've been wanting to go to the Brass Armadillo and walk around... not that I NEED anything.... but it's fun to look.... just in case I see something that I just can't do without.  Right?

We watched movies last night after dinner - which was another Tovala dinner that I split between us.  It was really good.  Prime rib cut up, mashed potatoes, mushrooms.  With dividing it between us, I added a can of corn, then cut up some strawberries, added sour cream and brown sugar - and that was our dinner.  I'm hungry this morning but am not going out to fix anything.  Not yet, anyway.  It's only about 8a.  Maybe I'll fix some eggs ole this morning.

I have so much here at home I want to get started on.  The counter in the laundry room needs to be cleaned off; the shelves in the garage need to be rearranged.  I can't blame that on anyone but me.  Heaven forbid hubby would put something out on the shelves, right?  I do need to go through it and see what jars I have up there so that I will know what I need to get for Christmas canning.  I also need to go through the cabinets out in the garage and get rid of some things.  So many 'things' I want to do.... but probably won't get any of them done until the weather turns cooler.  The garage has to be over 100 degrees most days.  I feel like I use hubby as an excuse most of the time for not getting things done.... he always 'wants to help' but I spend my time explaining to him why I'm keeping something or what to do with it.  But then, if I work on my closet, he will work on his... and that would be a win-win, right?  Except I'm still not getting done the things I want to get done.  Yeah, I should work in this room too.  I'd love to attack the book cases in all the rooms and get all our books in order by author - but heaven forbid I should do anything in "HIS" office!  I don't know why he is so resistant to me putting the books in alpha by author order.  We have so many duplicates that I could sell them on Thriftbooks or the good ones back on Amazon.  So I don't know at the moment what I will do today.  After I cook breakfast, of course.

Think I will go get another cup of coffee...... got it and of course hubby decided that maybe he needed a cup as well.  I picked up my Amazon order that was delivered around 4:30a this morning.  Hubby was telling me we were nearly out of k-cups, but what he didn't know was that I ordered another box and it came this morning as well.  I also got him six pair of ankle crew socks for the gym.  I ended up folding his laundry yesterday morning and he had about 15 pair of socks that were faded, dingy and downright ugly looking.  I told him to throw them away.  I wouldn't even give those to goodwill!  Yes, they were that bad.  So just a thought for any of the kids readings this... he can use hankerchiefs and he can use ankle crew socks - white.  It doesn't matter if he gets a lot at Christmas; he can use them!  And of course containers of cashews. LOL   I'm kind of hungry this morning so grabbed a package of 'his' Belvita snacks.  I buy the big box at Sam's Club for him and he keeps them under his desk.  Surprised he had some left - but he did - and 'let' me take a package.  I'm not ready to stop and cook breakfast!  I can probably do whatever I want today - haha - in my Amazon box new socks for him and Verona coffee.  He's happy.  He hasn't been real thrilled with the Starbucks Caramel coffee I had bought - it was just for something different.

Answer me a question if you know it..... I was told some time ago that the lighter the coffee, the more caffeine is in it.  I always thought the darker the coffee, the more caffeine.  So which is it?  Light - Medium - or Dark?   I generally prefer the 'slap me in the face' coffee.... (wouldn't that be a fun name for a coffee brand?)  I drink my coffee black as a rule, but do enjoy flavoring every once in awhile.  Like the little creamers you can put in them for flavor?  I don't use them often, but on occasion.  Just for a change up.  I don't usually buy creamers as they will go to waste, so the little ones work for me.  And when I go to Panera for Needles of Hope, I get their dark coffee about 1/2 up the cup, then finish filling it with Hazelnut.  Just to have a different taste. :-)  Years ago Pastor Steve got me on the coffee mixtures.  When I was with him and we went to Circle K, he would get regular coffee about half up the cup, then added cappuccino.  His explanation was that cappuccino by itself is generally too sweet and somewhat weak as far as coffee.... so by adding dark coffee, it gives it a good base and not as much sweetness.  And you know I'm so sweet I don't need much more sugar, right?

Philippians 4:4 (ESV)  Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice.

If we truly pause and think about all the things that God does for us, how can we not rejoice in Him, thank Him that He even woke us up this morning?  That we are breathing.  That we have food to eat. That we have a roof over our heads, and most of us have vehicles that we can go someplace.  Some of us have jobs that we can be thankful for.  If you really pause and think about the goodness of God towards us, how can we not be grateful and rejoice in Him?  He blesses us so abundantly - how can we not praise Him?  You hear me talk all the time that I have too much 'stuff'.  That I have clutter everywhere - and it's usually because over the years I have bought too much, right?  I use it for awhile, and then there it sits.  Did I really need it to start with?  Probably not.  I need to start pulling things aside and make a list and submit it to my family and see if anyone wants them - after it is gone from me, I don't know what is done with it, right?  OOh - don't want to think about that!  LOL  I've hung on to it this long, right?  Some things I just need to learn how to use - that would help.  

I had my SIL put together a TV stand for me the last time they were here.... and he put my little TV on it.  The purpose, as I am sure I shared before, was to be able to move it from the exercise room to this bedroom should we have guests who like to watch late night TV.  I have a firestick, but don't know how to use it, and my youngest couldn't figure it out when he was here.... and started talking Roku - and I don't have that.  I need something that I don't need to hook up and take off every time it is moved.  Any ideas?  It will be in the exercise room for the most part, and maybe that will get hubby (and me) back there to workout if we can see something on TV.  For me, though, when I'm on the treadmill or the rebounder, I put my laptop on the table and watch a movie.  Which I am hoping to do later today.  I've got to get my steps back up.  My company is having a challenge and it requires getting steps in.  I formed my own team 'Jailbreak Walkers' as I usually do, and already have a full team.  But I can't let them do all the walking; I need to get my walking up to 10K steps a day again. And it would help me lose weight as well.  That and quit eating.  Sigh.

And, surprisingly I haven't heard from my son that I'm late today in posting this!  I love this relationship we have in which we can share life.  I always go to his blog first... and went a little bit ago and see he posted a short one.  I agree, with writing every day, with the life I have, I'm sure most of it is so boring who wants to read it!  But every once in awhile, surely I have something good for you to read. :-) Maybe.

And with that, I'm going to get off here and get back to my reading.  I picked up a couple 'new' books from Thriftbooks.  Both are by Jerry Bridges, who is an excellent Christian author.  The two I am wanting to read now.... and I need to decide which one first... I will follow You, O God.....Embracing Him as Lord in your private worship, and I Exalt You, O God....Encountering His greatness in your private worship.  Don't both of those sound good?!  Plus today in another yet Amazon delivery, the Altar of Pergamon by Jonathan Cahn should arrive.   I've only read a couple of Jonathan Cahn's books (did you know he was the 'other passenger' in the duct tape passenger story?   I watched a podcast he did, talking about it.  He said the other guy was very amiable, having a couple drinks, but was sharing things, just talking. Then he asked what Jonathan Cahn did.  Jonathan shared about writing the book and the guy started getting agitated.  Then he calmed down and they continued to talk, but in talking about the book, Jonathan (who is a Rabbi) shared he was a minister, a Jew who believes in Messiah, and mentioned Jesus.... and this guy starts yelling and long story short (cause a lot happened very quick), he grabbed Jonathon Cahn's throat and was trying to choke him before others came up and pulled him off and they duct taped him to the seat.  The devil was in full force, ya think?  Anyway, guess I've gotten off track. 

So - I am closing this off.... have an amazing day, be thankful that God is so good to you.

Blessings!

 

Well, it is 'back to work' Monday!

 I'm hoping for a quiet day today without a bunch of 'stuff' going on with work.  Why? Sue is still on PTO, and I still have minutes to type and board decks to put together.  That's just what I NEED to do.  I have been putting things aside as they aren't 'due' and now the list is getting longer.  I need to actually DO them and get them off my list of 'to do' stuff.  At least Sue's boss's EA is back to day (I've covered for her the past two weeks) and I won't have to worry about that.  Besides, I have training in the middle of the day with Morgan and I need to wrap my mind around that and get my mind motivated.  I think we are doing legs today.

I may have already shared this, but I bought a workout shirt that says "I want to quit but my trainer is scary", but I'm not sure if I'm going to keep it. I may send it back.  It is cotton, which is great, but it is so stiff and it doesn't stretch.  I need stretch.  I don't like my shirts fitting like a glove; my body is not built for that.  Some of you will know what I am talking about.  I know I need to change some of the sizes I wear.... some large hang - literally - on me.  When photos are taken I look like I'm all rolls under that shirt! Then I get down on myself (hence the workouts and diets).  Then I suck it up and tell myself "I'm a work in progress" and move on.  I don't like t-shirts that fit snug, for I know they show my rolls and I'm very self-conscious that I allowed myself to get those rolls.  Yep. Not a medical condition.  It's a lack of control food condition.  

And hubby did not help at all yesterday.  He went to Walgreens after we got home.  Sigh. For the first time in a long, long time, he brings me back something, hands it to me and says "you are always buying me things like shirts, shoes, things I need, so I thought I'd buy you something."  That's all well and good.  It's nice he thought of doing something for me.  But what did he hand me?  One of the very things I try NOT to buy because, well, it's me.  Oreos.  And it wasn't a small package that would have been sufficient.  No, he had to buy for me the FAMILY package.  Sigh. And I had to eat 'some' then so that he would know I appreciated his gesture.  Big sigh.  I probably ate half the one roll (of three) during the rest of the day. I LIKE Oreos.  I do.  But I can't have them sitting around.  Just like potato chips; I can't buy them.  I know me. They don't help this body get into shape.  It would have been better if he had bought me a Snicker.  It at least has protein in it.  I appreciate the thought, I really do.  But today I will put the cookies in the freezer and hope I forget about them.  I cannot put them in the pantry.  (besides, frozen cookies are good too, right?)  Sigh.

The message yesterday at church was really good.  We are still on the 'The Series that isn't a Series' series. Yesterday it was on the Holy Spirit.  A Very Good Message. I took notes (as I often try to do now.) on some of what was shared.  It was very interesting and even answered some unanswered questions. I tell you what, the Holy Spirit was present yesterday!  Whew!  As Pastor John prayed, I had goosebumps come over me as the Spirit moved among us.  Pastor John and Pastor Lindsay both speak the Bible and speak truth. I love that.  I hear they are taking a few weeks off in July.  Pastor Josh may be speaking, and I'm not sure who else will be.  

The past two nights I have slept very well.  We quit watching NCIS about 9:30p last night and headed to bed.  I slept sound - (watch shows I only woke up twice) and I did not feel my watch buzzing this morning - in fact, it buzzed for 30 minutes before it stopped - and I still slept another hour before waking up.  Yep, it was 5:30a when I awakened this morning, and I'm not sure what caused that to happen because I could have slept longer - but I opened the eyes to look at the clock.  And groaned.  I didn't want to get up, but knew I should.  And I'm running out of time so will finish this on the work computer. You know that I have something important to say in here somewhere, right?

Well, just brought up the work computer, and of course it shows that Sue is out of the office, and I knew Jen was (her boss), but I had also forgotten that Anita and Kynda are both off today as well - which means the only 'boss' I am supporting today is David.... and he rarely sends me anything.  I really SHOULD get things done today, right?  Maybe I can get this bed cleaned off today as well.  

I bought recently a metal solar owl as well as an owl 'spinner' to hang in the courtyard because those darn pigeons keep pooping all over the courtyard and occasionally on the furniture.  Got them Saturday. Put them outside. So yesterday I hear the pigeon coming out of the bush next to the house - and he just walks casually around the courtyard before walking through the fence into the yard.  Stupid bird. Doesn't he know he is not to like owls or spinners that flash light all around the courtyard when the sun hits it and he should stay OUT of the courtyard?  I'm sorry if it sends my quails away too, but I am so tired of having to clean off poop!  Still need to go to Lowes to pick up a brush to sweep the courtyard with.  Going to give it a good scrubbing. The courtyard, that is.  

But then, I read that the monsoon season is now upon us.  So in that thought, I'm going to cover up the furniture again to try to protect it some.  I just put all the covers in the garage a week or so ago - and now need to dig them back out.  Well, will do it after I get outside this morning and water the plants. I meant to do it yesterday, but didn't want to do it in the middle of the day, and by evening, I was caught up in NCIS reruns.

Proverbs 11:2:  When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.

As I sit here and think what to write as an example for the above scripture, you know what comes to mind?  The times (yes, this is plural) when I have held my head up, knowing I am dressed well and look good, and go strutting around the office or even at church (definitely not recently for either).... and I've gotten compliments on how nice I look.  I feel pretty.  And as I walk, my heel catches on the floor (and it could be a tile floor!!) .... and I stumble.  Yeah, that stumble shatters my pride in me.  Humiliating, yes.  Definitely.  I can remember wearing really high 5" heels at church one Sunday years ago (can't wear those now!!) and the pastor had everyone who could walk (what was I thinking that I could walk in those 5" heels in my 50's?) across a small wooden CURVED (like up and over curved) bridge to symbolize something... I don't even remember the message!  But I knew I looked good that Sunday!  And do you know how difficult it was to walk UP that little bridge (we are talking about 6-8 ft long and going up about 2 ft in the air before going back down) and how embarrassing for me it was to try and walk DOWN (I had to have help to get down!!) that bridge (in my defense, it was also smooth wood, not where one could have something to step on) and back on solid ground.  I held up the line as I tried to get down.  But me in my 5" heels looks good!  I gave away those heels after that episode.  One of those 'never again' moments.

Pride can get us in so much trouble.  I'm sure certain situations have come to your mind as well when you were embarrassed - either for yourself, or for someone you love.  You squirm. You try to make excuses on why this happened.  (for me, it just wasn't wise to wear those 5" heels at that age to where I could barely stand up and walk!)

..... but with humility comes wisdom.  That's true, isn't it?  When we recognize that our 'uncomfortable feeling' - or embarrassment - happens, we don't want it to happen again.  LOL The thought just occurred to me of someone going into the ocean and their swimsuit being pulled off by the water.  THAT would be embarrassing!  Or the bikini top coming untied or unsnapped while playing in the water.  OOPS!

One can get 'wise' real quick in those circumstances, right?  What about when it is a child who does something they didn't think through.  Embarrassed, they didn't even want to share what happened, but being our child, they eventually share it... and 'we' hope they learned from that experience.  I'm sure that has happened to all of us.  None want to LISTEN to us... do it all THEIR way... and then work through the consequences/results of their decisions.  Sometimes it is good.  Sometimes we can only shake our heads and go 'what?'  I'm sure I embarrassed my mother a lot of times.  And I am pretty sure that I have also embarrassed my children as a parent. (Sorry about that!)  I will always answer my children's questions as truthfully as I can.... but sometimes, answers don't need to elaborate. And I'll leave that there.

Anyway - I need to get to work (I have so much to do,ya know!) and get off here.  I pray that you have an AMAZING day!

Blessings!

Workout at 9AM...

 And.... although I got up at 4:30AM as usual.... I was able to fall back to sleep here in my chair for about an hour this morning.  My left leg kept waking me during the night with aching pain, but now it is fine. What's up with that?  Is it because I also sleep on my left side?  It was the entire leg hurting again during the night.  Anyway - it's now about 7:30AM and I have to leave here by 8:30AM at the latest, so need to write in here (of course I have to! You have to be told what I'm doing, right?) and then get my butt moving and get dressed.  At least I don't have to work today.

But I will be some.... I'm still working on these envelopes.  Staples shorted me 6 envelopes so I need to go over there and talk to them about it.  I took a photo of the box - but it's my word against the company's - so I don't know what they will do.  Anyway - I finished all the addressing of the envelopes yesterday afternoon and will start on stuffing them with the nurses' gifts sometime today.  I figure if I do some today and some tomorrow, then I want to sort by zip code, and then I can take them to my boss on Wednesday when we meet up - and decide what to do.  I may end up driving to Mesa after our breakfast so that I can ask the mail room to put these in the mail and charge to the department's cost center.  I certainly don't want to put that amount on my credit card and wait for reimbursement!  I still need to add the cost of the envelopes to a report and send in for reimbursement.  But I have everything addressed so that is good.

We have no plans for today.  My daughter called yesterday and wondered if we were going anywhere.  We have always been invited to their place for a cookout - I think this is the first year - in lots of years - that we are home for a holiday.  And that's ok.  I could have some come here, but then I'd have to do all the cooking..... you know what I mean..... and deal with hubby.... 

But, in all fairness, he has been doing much better!  He really is trying to change and be more patient with the little ones and all.  I have noticed it.  Even when we visited the youngest son the other day, I noticed hubby was much happier with the great-grands than usual.  See, prayer does work!!

Church was really good yesterday.  Our pastor spoke on Intercessory Prayer, using the story of Moses holding up his arms when Joshua fought against the Amalekites.  When Moses' arms were raised, Israel was winning; when his arms grew weary, the Amalekites would start winning.  So Aaron and Hur each took one of Moses' arms and held them high - and Israel won the victory.  So what does tis story tell us?  We need people who will 'lift our arms' as we pray for others.  And when we need prayer, we need people lifting their arms for us.  It really was a great message.  Check out Reclaim Church-Peoria on Facebook and find it.   Intercessory prayer used to be one of my top 'spiritual gifts'.... my spiritual gifts have moved around a lot over the years.  I am almost afraid to take a test now to see what they are.  I truly long for the days when my #1 spiritual gift was faith.  Not that I don't believe, for I do!  But I think it has fallen from #1 and gone down further on the list.  Not sure what my #1 spiritual gift would be now.  I think I need to work through a lot of hurt (and I am working on it) that I have carried for years.  During the service yesterday we were asked to think of a name that we were praying for and after the service prayer partners were up front to pray with us for them.  I didn't go up.  But I thought of a few names.... and my tears started to well up in my eyes.  I was afraid to let them fall, for I feel that once I allow myself to cry, I will not be able to stop.  I have buried my heart, my tears, my pain, for so many years.... that I am afraid to cry anymore.  

Why did I stop crying?  I feel I know why, but you would have to know the circumstances as to why... and I'm not willing to share those - at least right now.  Perhaps sometime I will get to a point I can share why I fight tears now, versus letting them flow. Long story.  God has seen my tears, and He knows why they have been withheld.  Not that I didn't care, not that I wasn't affected. And I will leave that there.

I haven't read further in my book - yet - so will not continue on the subject I was on yesterday.  I wanted to get this 'on the books' before I got started in the day.  Maybe tomorrow I will have more time and can write.  I do have the fun of picking up my oldest son at the car dealership and bringing him back here for awhile. He does have something for 3 hours and can use this room.  I will probably finish up working on the envelopes that I've been spreading out.  

And with that - I'm going to jump off here, get dressed for the gym, and get started on my day. Need to head out soon.

Enjoy your day off.... hope you have some time with friends today.  Pause and remember those who lost their lives in their sacrifice for our country.  Would you give your life for this country?  For some of us, we'd have to think about it, for sure.  For our families - absolutely.  For the country?  Another thought, right?  Some didn't have a choice; they gave their lives to keep us free.

And Jesus gave His life so that we can be redeemed.  Hallelujah!

Blessings!

Working out early today

 Yeah - today I have an 8AM training with Morgan.  I only got one in last week as she was sick the second day.  So did I work out on my own?  Nope.  Lazy?  Yep.  But, in my defense, as little as it is, I did get on the rebounder for 30 minutes last night - I'm not really 'feeling' it yet, but may before the day is out.  I did sleep sound last night - perhaps I should get on it 30 minutes every night!  I don't really like taking off work to go to the gym, but Sue lets me, and I always get my work done so she doesn't care.  It isn't often - although I think it is Thursday I have a 1:30PM training.  I consider it my 'lunch break', although I'm gone a bit more than an hour.

Hubby and I have cut back on our eating lately; I guess eating enough at lunchtime that we just snack for dinner.  Win-win for me, right?  We had left-over tacos yesterday for lunch - and I think I ate two of the mini cucumbers and about a dozen or so Utz Pretzels (they have 10gm of protein) for dinner - and I'm not really hungry yet this morning.  I won't eat before I go to the gym, but I will fix a shake when I get home. I may go ahead and drink a premier protein shake before I go to the gym - because I didn't eat last night. Then fix a real shake when I get home.  With working out, and eating less, I need to eat my weight in protein - and because I weigh more than I should (don't go there!) right now, that's a lot of food! I have not been able to do it - not even close.  

Our neighbor who checks on everything in the neighborhood text'd me at 6AM to tell me we had a package outside our gate.  I can always depend on her to let us know when things are not as they should be - and she will also let us know when we forget to shut the garage door.  It isn't always hubby forgetting; sometimes if I go out the garage door, like to take trash out, I sometimes forget to put it back down.  I'm glad we have a neighbor who isn't afraid to let us know.  So I went out in my jammies at 6AM to pick up our package.  I think I know what it is.  I bought a new scale that is like the Inbody we have at the gym - what I like about this one is that it will not only tell weight, but it will break it down as to how much is fat, how much is muscle, etc.  That is important.  You can weight 120 pounds and have a BMI out of range and lots of fat - and very little muscle.  Mine definitely isn' t where I want it to be with a BMI of about 29, I think it is, and yes, that is high.  My goal is to get my BMI down to about 10.  Eventually.  To do that, I have to build my muscle in relation to how much fat I carry around.

Hubby's hearing must really be gone without his hearing aids.  Seriously.  He is in his 'office' reading.  Our neighbor text'd me about the box.  I went out, opened the front door (it makes noises, of course), unlocked the screen door and opened it.  The gate squeaks (which I like cause it tells me when someone is coming into the courtyard) - and I come back in with the box, lock the screen door, lock the front door, and come back in here...... and hubby didn't even get up out of his chair to see what I was doing.  With his hearing aids in, he would have been at the door as I opened it, wanting to know what I was doing, what was in the box, etc.  He doesn't even know I went outside!   Perhaps that is why I am alert at all noises during the night?  It wouldn't do any good to wake him if I heard something - lol - he would start yelling "what? what? why did you wake me up?" cause I'd have to speak loudly to get him to hear my explanation.  Just a fact of life.   Who knows, I may get there at some point - although I hope I don't.

We are supposed to have 'group' at our house tomorrow night - but I haven't heard from our leaders yet. I'm wondering if they are wanting to step back from being the leaders.  Personally, I think meeting every other week or even once a month isn't enough.  They seem to do a lot of traveling as he retired, and she currently isn't working.  I guess they haven't lived here very long; they are from Washington and she resigned her job there and has been trying to find a job here.  In the meantime, they travel back and forth to Washington (grandchild) and Disneyland, and several other places.  She's going to Thailand in October, I think it is, on a missionary trip.  She wants to move back to Washington; he doesn't. Anyway - we may - or may not have group tomorrow night.  I feel we need to meet every week or for sure every other week.  But the problem is, if anyone is out (think of when we were sick), they won't meet.  Although the last time I told them to go ahead and meet because it was getting too far out.  I'm thinking of just starting our own group and meeting more consistently.  We haven't met for a month now.  Will see how that goes - the leaders should contact us today to confirm - or do something.  If not - I'll check with them later tonight.  Maybe move to next week if they aren't available. 

Psalm 119:35  Make me walk along the path of your commands, for that is where my happiness is found.

Think about that verse for a moment.  Ponder it.  When we walk according to God's Word, following His commandments, we can find our joy.  Seriously.  It doesn't mean life will be perfect, but we will have His peace when we walk in Jesus' footsteps.  When I'm holding back my impatience at someone, when I'm trying (cause it isn't always easy, but I need to try) to say or do the right thing, my joy is found in Jesus alone.  When I am impatient, when I speak words I usually end up wishing they didn't come out that way, I find myself grieved in heart because I know I am not walking the way I should.  Does that make sense?  Let's choose to follow closely the path of His commands, and find our joy in Him.

Blessings!

Shhhh- She's asleep!

 We did get the great granddaughter yesterday and she spent the night with us.  She's almost too big for the wagon now, she has grown so much!  But she is a joy.  She did go to sleep about 9PM which was fine. A little past our bedtime, but we wanted her to sleep most of the night.  But then, shortly after we settled down, she was awake.  I put her in bed next to me and we both fell asleep - until Opa got up around 1AM for the trek down the hall.  We both woke up, so I grabbed her and we went into the front room and I covered us up with a blanket and she went back to sleep and I dozed off and on. About 5AM Opa got up so I sorta woke the baby up moving around and gave her a bottle.  She's been awake ever since - and it's about 6:35 now.   I just put her back in the wagon, in the dark bedroom, hoping she would go back to sleep - but it sounds like she is not.

And that is all I got written Tuesday morning.  Yesterday I was unable to even get the computer turned on to write.  I meant to write during the day - but, alas, between having the baby until about 3PM yesterday afternoon, and then finishing up work, and the evening stuff - well, here I am today.  Did you miss me?

We really did enjoy having the great-granddaughter for a couple days, but I have discovered that it is a lot of work to have a 3 month old 24x7 and work.  It IS work. LOL  I was always at work when my children were this old -but I also realized how much fun they are.  Even Opa would come get her and spend some time with her, talking to her, getting her to smile, and she would even 'talk' to him.  Totally out of character, if you know what I mean.  But he did.  We both enjoyed her and she is a very good baby.  

After my son picked her up I had to go back to work and finish up what I hadn't gotten done (cause she likes to be held) and I remembered I have a board meeting at 7AM this morning.  UGH. One thing I won't miss IF I retire this year.  I'm planning on getting the minutes from last week's board meeting completed today and filed.  Then I'll have these to do.  And, March 4 we will have the third board I support.  I still need to get the slide deck started on that one.  Got to make myself a note so that I don't forget!   My granddaughter did get out of the hospital last night - I don't know if my son kept the baby overnight or if he returned her to my granddaughter.  Can't believe her work was wanting her to come in and work today - just out of the hospital! Plus she has ten hour shifts on Friday and Saturday.  She definitely needs to find another job!

And, as you can tell, my thoughts are rambling all over the place this morning.  Keeping an eye on the clock so that I can get the slide deck up on time for the meeting.  If you recall, I 'forgot' the board meeting last time and they were waiting on me when I finally remembered to get on the computer and bring it up - then I brought up the wrong one - it was a mess!  I'm trying to be more prepared.  Got to get my act together.

Had training with Morgan last night - you would think that because she knows that I didn't do anything for six weeks (I told the staff I took maternity leave with Morgan), that she would back down a bit and build my body back up.  Nope, that didn't happen.  We did HIIT last night - I wasn't really prepared for that - and she beat my butt - bad!  5 different exercises, or was it 6?  Four sets for some, going from one to the other, and three sets of a the last two, I think. Regardless, I was already feeling it last night - and this morning - and tomorrow I will really feel it.  But it is a good feeling!  I can tell definitely which muscles I worked that haven't worked out for awhile.  I really do want to get this body in shape! But I love to eat as well.  Morgan says I'm back on the schedule I was on before - next week will be legs and core.  The week after, upper body and HIIT.  Ok then. At least I know what I'm doing!

I'd like to drop a dress size - but do it the healthy way - which means, I guess, I can't have those cookies I really want to grab and eat - but because of my continued fasting of no beef, no bread, no chocolate, no desserts - I have through the end of Monday to go.  Except I am baking cookies this weekend.

Why am I baking cookies?  Because with all that was going on around Christmas, I did not send a package to our doctor, after I told him and his two staff that I would.  So I'm going to bake, and fix up a basket for them.  I have Monday off work since hubby and I both have doctor appointments that afternoon.  Mine is at 1PM; his is at 2pm.  I won't have to worry about rushing back home and working.  

I still can't believe that with all my fasting of various foods - including desserts - that I have not lost weight.  It may be because I sit all day and then sit all night - well, for the last six weeks I have anyway.  No any real exercise thrown in.  I really want to start walking every day - but I've been out of the habit for so long - I forget.  So easy to forget.

Hubby told me yesterday he wanted to take me out to eat tonight - and not to a fast food place.  I just looked at him and said "well, you know I'm still fasting until Tuesday morning, right?"  I have started eating chicken, but that's the only meat and the rest is still the same, basically. I say my BBCD but really am still doing everything except the chicken.  I have no idea where he is thinking - although he will insist I make the decision.  We may go back to a Mexican place as I do like chicken fajitas, although we had them just last Saturday.  I could get the fundido there - it's still chicken - and my favorite.  A plain grill chicken just sounds boring this morning.  Oh well - if I remember, will share tomorrow of where we end up.  I think I'll fix BBQ chicken pizza (using a flour tortilla) for lunch - I fixed us each one for dinner last night and it was so good.  I had bought a Bettergoods (or Betterfoods) cauliflower crust veggie pizza so cooked it last night - that was the most awful pizza I have ever tasted.  It got dumped in the trash.  Even hubby could eat only one piece.  I love the cauliflower crust on pizza - (California Kitchen has the best) - but the cheese and all was terrible on this one.  

And with that - I need to get off here - sorry for all my rambling - just catching you up. Maybe I will have something worthwhile to read tomorrow.  Got to get the slide deck up and then get dressed for this meeting. I'm not on camera, but should I need to, would like something other than my pajama top to show and do need to comb my hair.  Don't care about makeup - I am who I am, right? :-)

Have an amazing day - and let's go to the wonderful world of Oz....

Blessings!

A little later than usual....

 but here I am.  I had a training appointment at 7AM this morning so I am running a bit later than usual getting anything done.  You know you missed me - how many times have you checked? LOL

I'm thinking I need to change my working hours to 8-5PM so that I can move my trainings to 7AM.  I am feeling much more alert this morning and energetic.  And stronger.  But, will leave that up to Morgan. I don't mind the early morning, but I just can't type in here if I do.

Not that I have anything to talk about.  And I'm drawing a blank this morning as well.  Worked the body, but the mind is gone.

Still working on my first cup of coffee.  Maybe I need to let it settle in?

Hubby is not feeling well.  He had a greasy breakfast burrito at IHOPS on Tuesday night - and came home nauseous.  Yesterday on the way home from Dr. Mark's office, we stopped at DQ and I did buy him a peanut butter parfait that he likes so well - and a fish sandwich.  He said the fish sandwich tasted bad.  But thought it was just him, and ate it anyway.  He wasn't feeling good still last night - and this morning he feels bad enough he has cancelled his training.  I told him to fix some toast for this morning to get it to settle his stomach so he is munching on that.

Morgan was in tears this morning. Her dad went in for a stent placement yesterday and the doctor said he 'slipped' and went too far - causing her dad's heart to fill with blood - and he coded.  They got him back, but he is now in ICU.  I just hugged her this morning and let her cry and talk it out.  I did still get a good workout in, but she needed to get the tears out.  I wish there was something I could do for her.  I told her to get her dad out of that hospital - I haven't heard good things about it, and when hubby was there, we know how his treatment was.  What hurts her the most was the doctor had no remorse at puncturing where he shouldn't have, but was very nonchalant about it, like it was nothing unusual.  Personally, I think they need to pursue his ability to do surgery.  Touching someone's heart and puncturing to where it fills with blood isn't an 'ooops'.... at least show remorse.

2 Timothy 1:13-14 (NKJV):  Follow the pattern of the sound words that you have heard from me, in the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus. By the Holy Spirit who dwells within us, guard the good deposit entrusted to you.

What have you heard growing up that taught you about Jesus?  Many of you went to Sunday School, or I hope you did.  Some of you may have even sat in some church services, or possibly attended youth group. What did you learn about Jesus there?  These are the things that we need to think about - for the prince of this world easily takes what we have learned about Jesus in the past and removes it from our thoughts.  Satan is only after you because you have claimed Jesus as Lord.  What is the saying I have heard over the years?  Let's see how badly I can butcher it.....

Satan isn't afraid of a person who says they are a Christian.  He is terrified of the person who says they are a Christian and gets down on their knees and prays!  A praying Christian is more terrifying to Satan than someone who just uses Christian 'lingo'.  Why?  Because when Christians pray, God listens.  And He answers.  Think about that.  So what are you?  Christian in name only - or in actions as well?

My goal today is to get several things accomplished.  I should make a list; it always makes me feel good when I can mark something off my list.  Are you like that?  I like to make lists.  And, if I forget to add something - and do it anyway - I make sure I add it to the list and check it off to make my list look more fulfilling. Do you do that?

I can remember in the past when hubby would get on one of his 'guilt' feelings - you know what I'm talking about - when you know you aren't doing enough and you feel like you have to 'prove' to the world that you are so busy and this is why - that you start keeping a list of everything that you do.  And you even start putting the times that you do it.  Like anyone cares it took you 30 minutes to wash dishes. Right?  Roll your eyes here.  People do that.  I don't feel I have to prove anything to anyone.  As long as I do what I'm supposed to do - it doesn't matter if I complete all the tasks by noon or if it takes me until 5PM.  The result is the same - complete the tasks - right?

And with that, and since I am working now, I am going to get off here.  Had to put 'something' in here for you to read - although by now you probably have moved on with your day.  

Hope that you have an amazing day!

Blessings!

Just a 'quick one'....

 It is a bout 5:10AM and I am needing to get some things done early this morning.  I've done some of my praying (the most important part) and reading but have now stopped to 'work' on this.  Not that I have to, but I always feel I'm missing something if I don't write something every day.  I keep thinking I need to slow down and just do it when I have something to say, and yet, I am drawn to ramble anyway.

I have a 7AM training this morning and I can barely walk yet from the workout on my legs from Monday night.  Today it will be core work.  By tonight I not only will not be able to walk, but I won't be able to even move.  But every part of it is important to my well-being.  I pray that God keeps my mind 'clear-minded' and that I can think and do things that I need to get done.  I've 'resigned' myself to working until I die, but that also means that I need to be able to think complex projects through and to complete the tasks that are assigned to me.  

Did I tell you I was given back the board meeting that was taken away from me?  Now I have both of the board that my male boss is president of.  Still have to do the minutes for one, and create decks for both for the next meetings.  See, I already need my mind working.  Lord, Help!

It is still dark out this morning. Usually at this time - well, about a week ago - it was still getting light at this time.  Not today.  I heard thunder last night but don't know if it rained or not.  We missed getting the recycle out two weeks ago (recycle is the 2nd and 4th Wednesdays) and now we have about 6 boxes full of stuff.  Hubby got up at 4AM with me so that he could take the boxes out, but I told him to wait. If the wind starts blowing, it will blow everything everywhere.  We don't need to leave for the gym until 6:30AM so we can set stuff out at 6AM easily enough. 

I just realized I forgot to take my vitamins yesterday morning.  Oops.  I have them all in a daily pak and that is how I keep up on them. But, I moved my one pill a week - the Fosamax - to Tuesday mornings because it makes me tired and I usually work out on Wednesdays.  But I have to take it 30 minutes before I have coffee, before I take any other pills.  I forgot to go back and take my pills.  No real biggie; the only one I should have taken was my levothyroxine, and missing one day isn't a big deal.  I've taken today's pills and notice now that I left the flap open - and Tuesday's flap is up... and Wednesday's pills are still there.  Oh well.  No wonder I was dragging somewhat last night. You needed to know all that, right?

Had to drag out the new ice maker I bought a few months ago when we started drinking iced coffee.  We kept running out of ice from the ice maker so I bought a portable one. We never had to use it since hubby hasn't been in my iced coffee stuff for awhile (found one at Sam's Club I will buy again - it's a powder, mocha flavor, and has 20 grams of protein in it - and not only that - it is good!!).  I asked the SIL to come over and check it, and he couldn't figure it out.  The ice tray won't dump.  It just clicks.  So we will need to call the service warranty people out to come fix.  We use a lot of ice.  In the meantime, I do have the small ice maker that will still allow me to have my iced coffee mid-morning.  Maybe after I workout today as I will be needing refreshment!  Yesterday I was getting a headache as all the coffee we had was decaf and I was craving caffeine - so I finally decided to fix a good cup of my iced coffee (we still had ice then) and it took care of the headache.  Does that mean I'm addicted to caffeine?  I only drink one cup of hot coffee (ok, sometimes two) in the mornings - if I drink any after that it is usually iced (and I actually don't drink it every day).  Yes, I'm rambling.

Isaiah 26:3 (NIV):  You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in You.

Have you ever known people that no matter what conflict, what tragedy is thrown at them, that they seem to not get upset, not get overwhelmed with it?  Yeah, that is what I want to be.  No matter what the world throws at me, I can trust in the One who can rescue me.

But what if He doesn't?  What if God just allows things to go wrong, wrecks to happen, people pass on - what if?  The one thing that we can hold on to, to remain steadfast in Him with perfect peace, is knowing that He is God and we are not.  Lose a job?  God may have a better one in place for you.  Bankrupt?  Maybe God is trying to teach you that money isn't everything.  Car wreck?  Perhaps God is wanting you to realize He is your own source, and you need to depend upon Him for whatever comes your way.  Wayward child?  Sometimes God uses even our children to draw us unto Him.  

Whatever it takes to get our attention, to know that He is God and we are not, we can be assured that the devil is going to do his own part to put us down, to drag us down, to tell us that God doesn't care if someone you love dies.  The devil is going to tell us that God was the one who caused that accident, God was the one who spent all our money, God was the one who caused calamity in our life.

And you have a choice.  Is your mind steadfast on God and whatever happens you can trust in Him?  Or are you open to listening to what the devil says, who only wants to drag you down and destroy you? It is a choice.  I can choose to allow 'life' to beat me up (and you know that I have done that way too many times) or I can choose to say this statement I read years ago by Richard Baxter...

Lord, What Thou wilt, where Thou wilt, and when Thou wilt.  ~ Richard Baxter.

And although I fail many times, I wrote under it....

Lord, Whatever You want, wherever you want it, and whenever You want it, that's what I want. ~ Me.

Choices.  Will we remain in perfect peace no matter what, because God is God and we are not? That we can remain steadfast in Him because it is the best place to be - close to His heart?  I choose Jesus. I choose God. I choose the Holy Spirit. They can manage my life so much better than I can.  

Something to think about.  Where are you today?  Are you steadfast in Him?  Sit and chat with Jesus for awhile and figure it out.

Blessings!

It was a good day.... well, pretty much...

 Traffic was absolutely horrible heading to meet up with my boss yesterday morning!  Stop. Go. Bumper to bumper. Stop. Go.  Even before I got on the freeway, I had to sit through 4 light changes just to get through the one light to get to the one that gets me on the freeway.  When I got up closer, I could see why.  There must have been an exit closed before that one for as the cars coming off the freeway turned on to the street, 5-6 cars would get in the lane to get back ON the freeway.  No wonder I had to sit through 4 lights!  Finally got on the freeway and traffic, as first mentioned, was horrible.  A 45 minute drive took me nearly an hour to get to the restaurant - and the same happened from my boss coming from the east.  She pulled into a parking spot just as I got out of my car.  But we had breakfast together, and yes, I gave in.  I did get a frittata - I didn't read all that came with it, I thought it was just the frittata There was also fried potatoes (I ate two bites) and ... fresh bread... thick, crusty, and loaded with butter, as only Wildflower can do.  I didn't care.  I ate both slices that they put on my plate!  It was so good.  First time I've eaten 'real' bread since I started on Virta.  And I enjoyed every bite.

My boss and I had a nice visit and loved catching up with each other.  I took side roads coming home and took my time.  Didn't take long to clear messages on the computer when I got back.  I was fairly busy in the afternoon, but not overwhelming.  Oh yeah, I saw Dr. E (chiropractor) and he worked on my back some - takes him about 5 minutes as we just do maintenance now.  I go back in two weeks.  

And then I had my HIIT workout at 5:30PM with Morgan.  Oh my!  My resting heartrate is usually like about 51.  She got my heartrate up to 140!  Highest ever.  She worked me good, that's for sure - and I loved every minute of it.  This morning I am feeling the twinges of having done something to muscles, but it's a good feeling.  Tonight I get legs done - oh yay.  Hubby goes this morning so will be leaving in about 15 minutes or so.  I hear him moving around, getting ready.

After working out last night we stopped at Popeye's by the gym.  Hubby didn't want a Factor meal (nor did I - I've cancelled them).  As I pulled in the parking spot, I honestly do not know what happened.  Hubby decided to take his seat belt off as I was pulling in to it - and well, he doesn't take it off as a normal person; he has to twist and turn - and well, the next thing I know he was screaming at me and pushing me against the door - and somehow my foot hit the gas pedal (I think) and I went over the curb.  Just the front tires.  He sat there and hollered at me at 'what are you doing?' while I sat there trying to figure out what happened.  I am surprised at how calm and quiet I was.  I got out and looked to see what happened, saw the two front tires were over the curb.  So I just put the car in reverse and came back over them.  No damage that we could see to the car. Since my Escape is up a bit, I'm hoping I just ran the tires over the curb, which wasn't that high.  Obviously, I was driving so it's my fault - whatever happened.  Tires appeared to be ok last night.  Will see if I damaged them this morning.  I need new tires anyway - these are 6 years old and have over 50k miles on them so I figure I'm about due for new tires.  I'm sure my car is fine - alignment seemed ok, but will see as time goes by.  Don't know what caused hubby to react as he did.  I had to stop rather suddenly on the way home and he went ballistic on me - I told him to stop it - he was worse than my doing something!

Saw a prayer request come through last night that surprised us - Major Mark from The Salvation Army church had a stroke and is paralyzed on the left size.  He is only about 60 years old.  I guess there is a lot of stress running an organization like he has been.  Either that - or when he passed out during a service a couple months ago it was a sign that something was wrong - he had been taken to the hospital and was told he was dehydrated - and that was it.  Sounds like the doctors didn't really check into what was going on - right?

It's like with Ms. Vicki.  She was taken to a hospital near us when she had gallbladder pain - they kept her four days - did NOT give her any food those four days - they put her out and went down her throat to remove the stones out of the gallbladder.  THEN they put two stents in her liver.  If you can figure out what that is all about, you are much smarter than she or I am.  Now she has to go back to have the stents removed from her liver. But why were they put there in the first place?  She's not happy, and I may have mentioned it before... I told her to avoid that hospital; I've heard too many stories from others - and from hubby going there.  There is another hospital in this area that is much better.  Speaking of Ms. Vicki - we had received a mail piece for her in our mailbox so I took it over last night with the rest of the pie.  I must not have cooked the crust long enough for it is just falling apart when I take the piece of pie out of the pan.  It is just too sweet for us; I think I need to throw that recipe away and find my usual one.  Try it again, perhaps at a later date.  I'm out of the mood for it now.

Hebrews 12:1-2 (NKJV):  Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin that so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him, endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

Sometimes life is hard.  I know it, you know it.  But the things we have endured, the things we allow into our lives, are nothing compared to what Jesus did for us by going to the cross.  He who had no sin, became sin for us, so that we could wear the white robes of righteousness.  Sometimes we make wrong decisions.  And sometimes when others ask us about our lives, there is much we don't want to share.  Even I have 'secrets' that will go to the grave with me.  I am forgiven, because I confessed it to Jesus.  I received His forgiveness. That's all anyone needs to know.  I will always be as honest as I can be, but there is some that don't need to know. And I'm sure you have those in your life as well.  None of us are perfect, and when we don't have people in our lives to teach us the right way, it is always those who are 'wrong' that are more than willing to show us 'their' way.  Have you discovered that in your life?  And I'll hush on that.

I try to remember that there are people in heaven that are looking down on me (besides Jesus), who know me and know what I do.  Even if I do something that isn't right, they are watching.  If I do something good, they are watching.  Kind of a scary thought, isn't it?  My daddy is watching me.  My mama is watching me.  Now, yes, I assume they and my siblings that went before me are in heaven - we all want to think that.  So I can imagine them watching me even as I type this. 

We have this race in life to run.  I feel I have failed in many ways, and the ways of my children sometimes reinforces that.  I can only pray for them at this point, and ask God to turn their hearts and minds to Him.  They, too, can change.  But they have to want to change.  One can say they can quit doing something - but until they WANT to do it with their heart and mind, there will be no changing.  How bad do we want to change?  I want to change.  I ask God every day to 'Change me, Lord, and help me be Jesus to those I love.'  Even then, sometimes I fail.  God never fails.  It's our self-will.  And that is why I frequently cry out, "Lord, please help me".  And you can too.  He will help you, He is just waiting on you to ask.

Blessings!

Some decisions can mess you up -

 even little ones.  I'm almost afraid to get on the scale this morning, let alone take my glucose reading.  I can't change them as they are automatically put on the Virta app.  Why does it make me uneasy?  I really don't care what it reads, I don't mean that - it's just, well, I really cheated last night.  There. I just said it.  But I really didn't cheat THAT bad.  And you will probably roll your eyes at me.  Ok - I'll tell you and you will wonder why I am thinking about it this morning.  Heck, I thought about it last night!  LOL Actually, I'm just trying to entice you keep reading.

I went to the gym last night for my training.  I just felt so weak.  Ok, let me back up a bit.  While hubby was gone to an HOA meeting yesterday afternoon, I needed a break from work, so I moved my treadmill from one part of the back room to the other, and put the padding back down in the other area, and brought in my weight bench and my weights (with the hopes and plans of getting started again on working out on my own) and got them set up.  (Did I ever hear about it later when hubby noticed what I had done!)  But as I did so, I felt like I had lost some strength.  

I am blaming it on my new eating plan.  Plus the fact that it was Monday and I hadn't done any workouts since last Wednesday.  I need to get back to working out Friday and Saturday - doing something to keep my strength up.  Morgan had me work out on my shoulders last night (of which I don't have any, but they are starting to grow).  We did 5 different exercises on the shoulders and 12- 15 reps times 3 sets on each one.  My shoulders were numb when I left.  But as I exercised, I told her that I felt so weak (and in fact, she did lower my weights last night because I couldn't get the weights up).  I talked to her about the dropping of carbs in my diet.  Yes, I'm eating more protein (more meat, more vegetables) but no bread, and watching carbs in everything else.  And I told her I had cheated the night before with one trefoil and a piece of chocolate.  We both agreed that I probably need to up my carbs a bit, because with working out, I burn the carbs.  I'm going to throw it out to my Virta trainer as I am currently limited to 30 carbs a day (no, I haven't been counting carbs (yet) but I believe I have gone over some).  I do believe as well that with working out I need a few more carbs.  And with agreeing I need more carbs - well, confession here.  Sigh.  I came home and as I was fixing dinner, I ate 3, or was it 4, Girl Scout cookies.  Real good carbs, right?  I know, not a wise choice, but I was hungry!  I fixed hamburgers last night and really considered a slice of bread - which probably would have been better than the 3-4 cookies I ate!  Yes, I also had several different veggies cut up.  I had made a chicken dip (it is really good - shredded chicken, cream cheese, ranch dressing and Frank's hot sauce) and we used it as a dip.  My glucose was 116 yesterday so it will be interesting what it will be this morning when I get around to taking it.  I've lost 3 pounds but haven't got back on the scales this morning.  I've probably gained it back.  My coach sent me a message yesterday that I had lost 3 pounds, and that with my ketones averaging .6, I am in nutritional ketosis.  So last night when I took my ketones, it was .1 - so what does that mean?  It had been .2 then .2, then .6, .6 and now .1.  I need to get my head on straight.

With mentioning my head, I was eating dinner when I got hit right between the eyes with a headache!  I don't know what caused it but it was severe.  Now, I'm always a bit anxious about those as my baby brother, my half-brother Buddy, died from an aneurysm that burst in his head. Yes, that thought occurred to me.  I went into the bathroom after dinner (hubby said he would clear off the table) and I just kind of bent over and hung my head, asking God for healing - and you know what?  The headache totally disappeared!!  I was not expecting that!  I know God heals, and I know He answers my prayers - but I certainly did not expect for the headache to go away just like that!  All I did was hang my head down and pray.  Wow.  God is good.  I did go ahead and take an Excedrin extra strength.  I was going to take a pain pill when I went in the bathroom, it was that bad; but I didn't need to.  That was an interesting experience.  I went to bed about 15 minutes early and crashed for the night.  I 'feel' like I slept deep, if you know what I mean.  No dreams, just deep sleep.  Still didn't want to get up this morning, and THAT seems to be happening more and more often!  LOL

I John 1:8-10 (NKJV):  If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say that we have not sinned, we make Him a liar, and His Word is not in us.

We all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.  Do we know people who claim they have not sinned?  Do we say that?  I'm not pointing at anyone.  But I know people who believe they are 'perfect, just as they are'.  If you mention something that the Word says is a sin, how do you think they would react?  Uh, yeah.  They wouldn't be happy - anymore than we would be happy if someone pointed out our sins.  But then, what would we, as those who say they are Christians, do about it?  Would we not go to the Word, and confess our sins and repent and turn from it?  Oh that we all would reflect within at our lives and give up the things of the world and turn to Jesus with all of our hearts! Yes, I have confronted others with what I see - and they 'justify' their anger, their attitudes toward others.  There is no justification of being against the Word of God.  How many times have I be confronted by 'someone' and called a hypocrite by them because I choose to love and associate with someone they are estranged from?  I get chewed out and vomited on by this person - and each time I must forgive them and move on.  Some words stay with the one spoken at; the pain is always there.  The words come back to haunt, even though they are not true.  Be careful of the words you speak; you don't know which ones you may have to eat.

Hubby is having breakfast with a friend this morning and I have to work. I really do not mind him going out for meals with his friends; I enjoy no interruptions.  When he comes home, he will come in her and sit down and tell me all about his breakfast, what they talked about, and he will grumble because this is the friend who has Alzheimer - or the early stages of it - and will talk about years ago (like 50 years ago) when he was in seminary.  He was going to be a priest - but got married instead.  Don't know the entire story, nor do I need to.  But hubby has breakfast almost every week with him, except when hubby is irritated about the repeat of stories, then he will take a week or two break.  Speaking of hubby, I have reminded him again that he needs to tell his doctor about his lapses of memory.  He blames it on not doing it for awhile.  Example: yesterday he said he didn't remember how to print a copy on the printer.  He had his computer on and couldn't find where to hit print.  I asked him if he had brought the document up.  No, the document was on the printer and he wanted to make copies of it.  Once I understood what the problem was, I showed him how to print a copy on his printer - without the computer.  I know he knows that!  But it may have been awhile that he had printed from the printed document itself.  But still..... 

With that, I'm going to get off here and go jump in the shower.  Need to start work soon.  Need to weigh.  Need to take glucose. Need to work.  Sigh.  Hope you have an amazing day!

Blessings!

Huh. It says my info is incorrect

 Received an email that my Sonora Quest account had a balance.  Ok, no problem.  I check my health equity account and I have over $300 in it - obviously I haven't had any medical applied against it yet this year.  I lose it all on December 31 so I need to use it, right?  So I tried to. On this bill.  I pull my card out, input all the information, and it comes back telling me my information is incorrect.  Hmm.  I try again. And again. And it still will not take my information.  I go to Health Equity and verify my information. Yep, it's right.   Ok - finally went to my Health Equity account and brought up claims - and paid it direct from the account.  I often forget it is there as I don't contribute to it.  I have an HRA account versus HSA - once I turned 65, they took away my HSA and made me take an HRA.  The difference?  I cannot contribute to the HRA, plus unlike the HSA where the money in the account rolls over year after year - on January 1, all monies are returned to the company (they are the only ones contributing to the account) and the balance is 0.00 until the first payment, usually about $17.81 is deposited into the account.  I never use it all - or let's just say, I haven't.  I still have over $200 in it - I may or may not lose it before the end of the year. Thankfully, I don't have that many medical issues.   Which reminds me, I need to tell my boss, as she just turned 65 that she will need to use up her HSA monies because it will be going away.  At least I got my Sonora Quest account paid.  I hate owing money to anyone.

Yesterday was really a pretty much non-busy day.  I had breakfast with my boss and took her birthday gift - and her boss's day gift - to her.  I stopped on the way home and got my car washed.  I got back home about 11:30 I guess.  I just could not get in to work mode and only did what I had to do. I do have things I need to complete, so will need to focus on that today and make myself focus to get it done.  My boss and I were joking about retirement yesterday - I really think she is thinking about retiring in June next year - but will see.  I don't want to stay if she doesn't.  But - I do like the money I have to play with.  Play money would be gone if I quit.  Tough call.  

Earlier in the month I was told I needed to take minutes at this 6AM meeting this morning - but then I was told someone else was going to take them.  I sent my male boss a text yesterday and also called him, to remind him he has this board meeting.  He sent a text late last night that he just got back in cell service.  So he got my message.  I'm not calling in for the meeting; someone else is supposed to take the minutes.  He asked if I would do them and I said yes, but another person said they'd help the admin who messed it up before and she could still take them.  So I'm not calling in.  Go ahead, lay me off, I dare you!  (I know, I'm too eager, aren't I?)

I worked out last night with such a bad headache (and got no sympathy from my trainer) that when I got home I took an ibuprofen.  It immediately relieved the headache, and I think it has taken a lot of the aches and pain out of my body tis morning.  But it also causes me to sleep deeply and then struggle to wake up.  I'm doing better right now, but when I woke this morning, I only got up cause I heard hubby stirring.  I have another gym training tonight - we did legs last night so biceps and triceps tonight.  I feel like I've lost a lot of strength in my arms as she has focused on my legs one night a week and different other parts of the body (chest/shoulders/back, etc.) the rest of the time.  Oh, and let's not forget core!  My fat keeps getting in the way of doing core exercises.  Sigh.

Psalm 51:11 Do not cast me away from Your presence, and do not take Your Holy Spirit from me.

Did you know that in Psalm 51 the Spirit of God is called Holy for the first time?  From the very beginning, the third person of the Trinity was called 'Spirit of God' (Genesis 1:2).  He was never revealed as the Holy Spirit until David sinned and committed adultery with Bathsheba.  Gripped with fear of his sin being found out because she was pregnant, he launched a big coverup campaign and the Spirit of God lifted off his life.  He was accustomed to having songs of the Spirit flow from within because of his close walk with God. But when he sinned, the flow stopped.  His prayer life became trite and unfulfilling. He knew something was terribly wrong.  Then the prophet Nathan comes along and pointedly told David of his sin. When David repented, he acknowledged he has missed the present of God's Spirit which had become so precious and so fulfilling for him.  Yearning for a return to the former intimacy with God, David pled, "Do not cast me away from Your presence, and do not take Your Holy Spirit from me" (Psalm 51:11). This was the desperate cry of a man who learned from personal experience that the Spirit of God, above all else, is holy. He dwells only with those whose hearts are directed toward holiness.  Holy men live in the presence of the Holy Spirit. Once you've known this intimacy, you realize that nothing is worth losing it!

So where does this leave you?  Have you lost the joy of being in the Presence of the Holy Spirit?  Do you need to cry out "Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting".  Psalm 139:23-24.

Sometimes we all need to do that, I think.  Some of us on a daily basis!  Why not pause and let the Spirit of God, the Holy Spirit, search your heart and mind, and give Him permission to lead you.  You will never regret it.

Blessings!

Hump day it is....

 I still love that commercial with the camel walking around the office with "Guess what day it is!  It's hummmmmp day!!"  It always made me smile.  Occasionally someone will send a meme with an email and have something like that on it, and I always smile.  What are things that make you smile?

It was good to get out of the house for a little bit last night with my daughter.  Got home early and was able to get an hour or so in working on one of my projects.  Hubby came home and seemed frustrated that I didn't stop and give him my undivided attention.  But I wanted to work more on my project so did.  About 9PM hubby started huffing and getting ready for bed, so I knew that 'was a sign' I needed to stop and head that way as well or have a discussion about how I need my sleep.  Yeah - another story for another day. Sigh.

I did sleep well last night until about 2:50AM when I awoke.  I laid there for a bit trying to go back to sleep, but my mind was awake.  I finally dozed back off and the next thing I knew, hubby was stirring about 4:30AM (I actually slept past 4AM!) and his stirring caused my mind to start thinking again, so I got up.  Would have loved to go back to sleep in here, but... wanted to have my time with God this morning (I need it to help me through each day!) , and do a little reading, and of course, then type in here. Hubby came in and asked me about recycle Wednesday (yes, it's the 4th Wednesday so yes, it's recycle day), and then brought my coffee in and he took the items out to the curb for pickup.  I will go out to the garage in a bit and pull out a couple empty boxes for the next load.  Amazon keeps us stocked with boxes to put recycle stuff in. I wonder how they do that. LOL Could it be that I'm always ordering from them? I actually only have one more item on order currently, and one is a Christmas gift and one is for me - and it won't be here until October 11th.  I'm sure I'll place an order or two before then as well.

We have a board meeting today that I will have to take minutes at.  Oh joy. You know it is my favorite thing to do.  As soon as it is over, my male boss will be heading to the airport to fly to a conference for the next two days (yay).  I'm hoping to get things caught up that I am wanting to get done now. Working on scheduling the 2025 meetings and getting them on the calendar.  

No workout tonight as Morgan is going on vacation to visit her brother in another state.  She told me to work out anyway.  I know hubby will be (annoying) asking me about it sometime today or tomorrow. I do have my weight bench here at home and I do have some weights and I can do my workout here at home. I just don't like to do it when he knows I'm doing it.  Does that make sense? Probably not.  Big sigh.  I am just a very private person in some things and this is one of them.  I don't want him telling me to workout or to exercise or even what to do.  But, alas, he thinks that is his job because he loves me.

I John 2:2 (NIV):  My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin.  But if anybody does sin, we have an advocate with the Father - Jesus Christ, the Righteous One.

Did you know that when satan tries to accuse us of our sins that Jesus stands before our Heavenly Father and reminds Him that He, Jesus, went to the cross and died for each sin that we have committed?  We can tell the devil exactly where to go because Jesus went to the cross, He died, for you and for me, for every sin that we have committed, for every sin that we will commit.  When we confess them to Jesus, He forgives us and remembers them no more.

Proverbs 28:13 (NIV):  Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy.

I don't know about you, but I prefer confessing my sins and receiving God's forgiveness and mercy than holding back and trying to hide my sin and being miserable.  You know that does happen, the fact that you hide your sins from others - or think you do.  Eventually it will show through all you do.  You will become short-tempered, you will become sarcastic and cruel, you will sometimes even push your agenda on to others - and when we do that, it is our sins coming out in ways that hurt other people.  We hurt on the inside because of our sins, our own guilt that we are carrying around with us - and it makes us short-tempered and angry with others, even when they have done nothing wrong to us.  People don't want to be around us because we think we have hidden everything, only for the hardness of our heart is 'out there' for all to see.

Why not pause here, right now, and think over your life, even just the past few days.  Have you done or said anything that perhaps you shouldn't have?  Do you have a guilt that is laying on your mind, your heart, that it often comes back to you?  Perhaps now is the time to just lay it down at the foot of the cross and ask Jesus to help you to overcome an attitude, an action, that brings you down.  What we do or say to others is really just a reflection of who we have become.  Who - or what - do you want to be known for?  What is the legacy you let others see of your life?  Is there something you need to overcome and confess and ask for help on?  If you don't think of any, maybe we need to ask someone close to us - you know THEY are willing to point out our faults!  And oftentimes that is why we are so reluctant to ask!  But maybe we do need to ask how we come across to others.... and maybe we just need to sit down with Jesus (He is still waiting on you to visit Him) and ask Him to identify things in our lives that need to be changed.  Something to think about....

Blessings!

Will I ever get thinner?

 I had another training at the gym last night.  Sigh. Ms. Morgan hurt me. Again.  We did the leg extensions - 3 sets of 25!  Two sets at 80 pounds, one set at 60 pounds.  And I complained the entire last set.  Even though the weight was lighter.  Then she moved to a machine I detest.  The booty builder.  Now mind you, I think my 'booty' is big enough... but she made me get on it and do single leg 'thrusts'.  Do you realize how hard it is to get a fat butt in the air?  There were some times that it just wouldn't move.  3 sets of 12. On each leg.  I was biting my lips to push through.  THEN we moved on to a machine for the inner and outer thighs. I don't know the names of these machines, nor do I want to.  3 sets of 12 on there.  My time was up.  Hallelujah!  I could barely walk out of the door and my butt muscles are telling me they aren't happy this morning.   When I got home last night I sent Ms. Morgan an apology for being a whiney butt.  I was kind of down when I got there, which is why I know I wasn't in the mood to work out.  I wasn't filled with joy and I allowed circumstances to weigh be down.  It wasn't the exercises.  It was my mental state.  

Have you ever done that?  Let your mental state of life, of things in life, to wear you down?  I had spoken with someone who was again taking the easy route and doing the 'shots' to lose weight.  Not Red Mountain; yes, I did those for awhile, but if you don't follow the diet, it doesn't work.  This shot causes you not to desire sugary foods, and other things, so I hear. And it is extremely quick weight loss.  My boss did it and she looks amazing, but she also knew when to quit doing it.  I don't know how much weight she lost, but to me, she almost looks too thin for her build.  But she quit doing the shots and is eating healthy and does hike a lot so that keeps the weight off.  I've heard that if you go off the shots you can gain the weight back. I don't know, but although I long to get this weight off, it took me several years to get where I am now, and it will take several months of concentrating on food and working out to get it back off. The plus is that I am building muscle and strength, which is what I need at my age.  After hearing another close person was going to do the shots it was like I wanted to scream "NOT FAIR"!  But I remained silent. Their health is their business and I know I am much healthier mentally and physically than they are.  I just want to drop about 30-40 pounds just like that.  

It was interesting that Ms. Morgan commented that I can drop the weight - but I have to watch my diet - and then she asked the question - how much protein do you eat every day?  I paused at what I ate yesterday before going to the gym.  I had my protein shake with strawberries and milk (protein mix has 17 grams of protein in it).  Lunch was 1/2 sandwich - peanut butter on whole grain heel folded in half and a cheese stick.  Hmmm...guess that isn't much protein or food, is it!  Dinner was better.  I had put a roast and carrots in a crock pot and fixed broccoli for dinner.  I pulled out my weight watcher cookbooks last night and went through them.  Lots of good and simple recipes. At least they are healthy and aren't always depriving me of what I want.  I do need to push on getting more protein, which is why working out is hard sometimes.  I need more protein.  Premier Protein drinks have 30 grams of protein so I'm thinking I need to incorporate at least one or two a day as well as eating food with protein, i.e., chicken and fish and occasionally beef.  Red meat isn't as good for you as you think.  I found a recipe for catfish and I have some in the freezer so am going to try it tonight. Unless I talk myself out of it. But I do enjoy cooking.

So I started making up a grocery list.  Some I'll pick up from Sam's Club, some I'll just go to Frys for.  I don't need large quantity of some items sitting in the pantry and expiring before I use them all.  I do need to go through the pantry and see what I have in there. Wish it was larger and more open.  My NEXT house will have more cabinet and counter space in the kitchen AND a large pantry!  Hope I live long enough to get what I desire.  I could bake and cook every day!  I just don't have a lot of room for it now.  But I can dream.

It's been so long since I have fixed meals for my loved ones, I wonder what their favorite food is.  I would love to fix it and try to have them over for a meal. I wonder if I could do that. I could even do it during the week (when I don't have training) as it can cook while I'm working. hmmm.. It's all part of my dream.  Wouldn't it be fun to have family over on specific days of the week and I cook a meal for them?  That is how I show my love for them.  Cooking for them, spending time with them, making memories.   Hmmm how could I do that?  Some have specific things going on during the week.  Some I don't want family conflicts brought over.  UGH. It has already become difficult to figure out. I won't do for one and not for the others.  Lord, help me figure this out.  Maybe it would just be better to take the food to them.  Or become depressed because I feel my hands are tied.

Philippians 4:4 (NIV):  Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!

I read that verse and I am thankful that I have things I can rejoice about.  God has been so very good to me, even when I have made stupid mistakes and paid the 'stupid tax' that Dave Ramsey is always talking about.  'Stupid tax' is what it is called when you purchase something you don't really need and still have to pay for it.  Done that a few times.  Or we sign up for something and then don't do it.  Stupid tax.  

I know beyond all measure that my hope in Jesus to help me in this journey of life is not in vain.  He is the only reason I am still here.  He is my 'hope and stay' as the song 'Great is Thy Faithfulness' states.  It is in Him I trust; in Him that I can rejoice.  When life is beating me up (or I feel it is), when disappointment comes at me, when the pain of sorrow becomes too much to bear, I can still rejoice in the One who knows me better than I know myself.  Jesus is the Lord of my life, and I am not ashamed of it.  He is my life.  Can you say that?  Is your dependence upon Him?  Mine sure is.  My future may be uncertain, but I know who holds my future.  Do you?

Blessings!

Thursday ramblings...

 Yeah, I've had a bunch of thoughts running through my mind this morning so if I continue to think about them, I'll probably write about them... which is, of course, all my ramblings.

Grateful this is Thursday and my boss should be at the airport getting ready to board about now. Got his airline changed, his itinerary updated, and then I signed off the computer.  I wonder in the midst of all the chaos of him changing things on me, what did I forget to schedule or what did I forget to move?  I like things in order and this has been driving me crazy, as you know.  Throw in several meetings were thrown at me by others, it was a very busy day!  I didn't even get to take a break yesterday, except to lean back in my chair!  I'm hoping for a lighter day today.

(erase erase)  Sigh.  I'm trying to get better (yes, I know, I blow it occasionally) and not make fun of hubby and his comments.  Which is why after I type it out, I generally erase. As I did now.  Yesterday there were a couple doozies, but I'll let you wonder about them. Not going to write about them. At least today.

I had my first session with my new trainer last night.  She is tough! A lot tougher than Trayden was. (I did find out he made it to Wyoming ok; his mother had posted something and I asked.  Then I told her he missed out on Snickerdoodles, but that's ok, I took them to Morgan (my new trainer) and she will enjoy them.  He did text us last night and said that he had gotten very busy before they left.  We both are still disappointed that he didn't at least text us that they were on the road.  Of course we are no relative, but he made us feel like we were close friends; we had dinners together, we worked out with him, and talked with him a lot.  But to leave without any 'we're on the road', it made us feel out of the picture already.  Not that we will ever see them again for they will move to Chicago and I don't plan to go there.  Another chapter in our lives close and we now open a new one.  Hubby's new trainer is Jason, a 20+ veteran of the Air Force, stocky, solid, and muscle bound.  Will see what he will do with hubby in training.  I have already discovered Morgan isn't going to be easy on me - the Snickerdoodles, which I asked could be a bribe to go easy on me - was a 'no'.  What I did like was that Morgan showed me exercises that I can do here at home in between workouts.  I have the 'equipment' here that I can use.  Now to do it, right?

Isaiah 40:29 (NKJV): He gives power to the weak, and to those who have no might, He increases strength.

See, the more I work out, the Lord will give me strength to push through and get stronger and better, right?  I got to do my part and do the exercises - and start eating better, although I have been - well, except for the snickerdoodles.  And yesterday, I had a big teaspoon of peanut butter.  I love putting peanut butter on a spoon and licking it off.  With crackers to much on to give it the crunch.  I know, I can enjoy weird things, huh.   I did tell Morgan I would give her 3 months - by my birthday I want to have a changed body, stronger, thinner and better.  I loved Trayden, and I did all the exercises that he had me do, but even though he pushed me as far as strength, he was more in to strength building, I think, versus exercises to get the inches to drop off.  Yes, a lot has to do with my eating, but I may have lost only 2 pounds in the year Trayden has worked with me - but I have great biceps!! Which he always told me - don't get on the scale; you are building muscles and that weighs more than fat does.  But the fat is what I want to get rid of!!  LOL  Still trying to get into the clothes I wore pre-covid.  Some of them I can, but my skirts I cannot, so want to work on this big behind.

Oh - I did weigh and measure yesterday; I have lost about 7" overall and only 1.2 pounds.  I still can't tell WHERE visually, but the tape measure says I have.  Will see in another week.  I just have to remember what I was told years ago...."You are not what you weigh".

Just remembered I have an 'admin lunch' today with some of the other admins.  We're meeting at Olive Garden close to me this time.  Last time they met, I took the day off for something.  I could have gone still to meet with them, but they had chosen sushi, and that is just not my thing.  I didn't tell them that, for they would have chosen another place, but let them enjoy it.  I tried it, and eating raw fish just doesn't do it for me.  Cook the darn thing!!

And with that, I'm going to hush and go jump in the shower.  Hope that your day is as amazing as you want it to be!

Blessings!

My calendar is going wacky!

 I went from one or two things on my calendar - to several things on my calendar - and I'm needing to weed things out and rearrange.  It really wouldn't be an issue so much if hubby isn't having his wisdom teeth pulled Thursday and will be on 'soft foods' for at least a week they say.  He is beginning to stress over it all - is there even enough soft foods to feed him?!!  Not a real question.  He's already asked that "should I go to Bible Study Friday morning?  If I do, what can I eat?"  And I told him that I thought he may be feeling ok enough to go, and as for eating, there is always scrambled eggs, or oatmeal.  Either way, he would have to be careful not to get anything in that empty socket.  

I remember after my surgery I wanted french fries! And hubby ignored me but stopped and got me a milkshake. I'm sure he will want his chocolate milk shake that he loves.  I don't remember what I ate specifically for the few days after the surgery.  Mashed potatoes and broccoli?  Drank protein shakes?  I honestly do not remember.  Food is food.  I just chewed on the opposite side of my mouth.  (Ain't no one going to tell me I can't eat food!!)  We have plenty of things - including protein shakes.  He isn't going to starve.  In fact, I remember, I did not even lose one pound after my surgery.  If he does, I'm going to be upset! But he's wanting me to play the 'mother' again and help him figure out how he is going to feel.  But I can't.  Each of us respond differently.  I'm confident, based on how I felt and how I came out of it - even though I don't remember much of it - that he will do just fine.  He just may need to bypass chewing of complex foods.  I think that scares him more than anything. LOL  Ok, I'm being sarcastic. We know that I love food.  And some know how much hubby loves food.  I don't live for food.  There is a difference.

So, his surgery is tomorrow morning, and he will sleep most of the day, I'm sure.  I'm only taking a few hours off in the morning and will be working the rest of the day.  He will have to decide about Friday morning, but I am assuming he will go.  But his surgery messes up - or makes uncertain - things for the weekend.  Our birthday grandson did text me yesterday and he 'guessed Saturday' would be a good day to meet up.  As I dealt with hubby and his fears, I text'd the grandson back and said I would let him know Saturday morning if we could meet up for lunch or dinner.   I also suggested we put it off another week so that hubby could enjoy being with him more.  He just said 'sounds good', I think.  I don't want anyone to feel they HAVE to go to dinner with us.  We just want to celebrate them.  If they don't want to - it's fine. But I will follow through once we have hubby figured out.  

My youngest son called, and we have postponed our 'Christmas celebration' until next weekend.  He has other things to do.  And, in reality, so did I.  I have Needles of Hope in the morning but was giving up part of that time as a great granddaughter is now in soccer and it is her first game.  Of course, Oma and Opa should be there - oh wait, Opa may not be, but I will be.  Maybe.  Will see how it plays out.  I may be sitting at home with hubby the rest of the day, depending on his mood.  Men respond differently to surgery than women do.  There, I said it.  And you know it is true.  (erase erase)  (no, it wasn't about hubby, but about people who complain they have so many issues (how is it they are still alive?) and yet are able to do so many things?)

2 Timothy 1:7 (NKJV):  "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind."

Wow.  I think that says it all right there, doesn't it?  We aren't called to be afraid of life.  God has not given us the ability to be afraid of everything.   God is our Helper, our Nail in a Sure Place.  He does not give us fear to be afraid of things.  He gives us His power when we need it.  He gives us love to give to others. And He gives us a sound mind.  I think I need to leave that one alone, for many times I wonder about my own 'sound mind'.

God is good.  He is Light. He is Life. He is Everything.  We have no reason to fear things in life for He is our strength and our help.  I've told you many times that I cry out 'Lord, HELP!' when things are feeling out of focus for me.  And it doesn't matter what it is.  I can be angry with hubby and cry out 'LORD, HELP ME!!' and He does.  I can be driving and be confused as to where I'm going because I haven't been there before.... and cry out "LORD, HELP!" and He always gets me where I'm going.  And with work - well, you can be assured I cry out 'LORD HELP! frequently!!  Especially when I am overwhelmed.

The memory comes to mind of moving furniture - heavy furniture - all by myself while hubby was at a retreat years ago and even then, I was praying that God help me move the furniture.  And He did - and 'WE' moved the furniture.  When hubby came home, he was so sure I had called one of my boys over to help me.  He couldn't believe I moved it all 'by myself'.  But I assured him, I didn't.  God did the heavy lifting.  All I had to do was call out for His help - and He provided.  Actually, that is a special memory for me.  I should title it.... The Strength of God.... because it was by His strength that I was able to move a king size bed, triple dresser, two nightstands and a chest of drawers.... for trust me, even the nightstands are so heavy they are difficult to move.  

Today is a busy day at work; have things already on the agenda I need to complete.  I have my gym appointment at 5PM tonight - for an hour this time, to make up for a cancelled time last week.  I know my trainer is going to 'hurt me'.  He did enough in the 30 minutes last Monday!  Certain parts of my body are letting me know that I did something with them.  And on a couple of the machines he upped the weight 15 pounds!  He told me he did!  It was hard, but I pushed through.  You should have seen my biceps when I was done with that training!  I had biceps and I didn't even have to flex!  LOL   If only from the shoulders down would respond the way my biceps do.  Not grow, but shrink!

Refuel - or prayer meeting - is tonight and since the books for our new class should be arriving today, I will need to go and pass those out.  I'm really happy they chose to do the workbook, and I love this study.  I'm so looking forward to learning and growing more in Christ.  I need to find my Joy again, and I'm believing this will help.

And with that.... I need to get off here and get dressed and ready for the day.  Don't you just love all my ramblings?  Hope that your day is a....

Blessing!