I had another training at the gym last night. Sigh. Ms. Morgan hurt me. Again. We did the leg extensions - 3 sets of 25! Two sets at 80 pounds, one set at 60 pounds. And I complained the entire last set. Even though the weight was lighter. Then she moved to a machine I detest. The booty builder. Now mind you, I think my 'booty' is big enough... but she made me get on it and do single leg 'thrusts'. Do you realize how hard it is to get a fat butt in the air? There were some times that it just wouldn't move. 3 sets of 12. On each leg. I was biting my lips to push through. THEN we moved on to a machine for the inner and outer thighs. I don't know the names of these machines, nor do I want to. 3 sets of 12 on there. My time was up. Hallelujah! I could barely walk out of the door and my butt muscles are telling me they aren't happy this morning. When I got home last night I sent Ms. Morgan an apology for being a whiney butt. I was kind of down when I got there, which is why I know I wasn't in the mood to work out. I wasn't filled with joy and I allowed circumstances to weigh be down. It wasn't the exercises. It was my mental state.
Have you ever done that? Let your mental state of life, of things in life, to wear you down? I had spoken with someone who was again taking the easy route and doing the 'shots' to lose weight. Not Red Mountain; yes, I did those for awhile, but if you don't follow the diet, it doesn't work. This shot causes you not to desire sugary foods, and other things, so I hear. And it is extremely quick weight loss. My boss did it and she looks amazing, but she also knew when to quit doing it. I don't know how much weight she lost, but to me, she almost looks too thin for her build. But she quit doing the shots and is eating healthy and does hike a lot so that keeps the weight off. I've heard that if you go off the shots you can gain the weight back. I don't know, but although I long to get this weight off, it took me several years to get where I am now, and it will take several months of concentrating on food and working out to get it back off. The plus is that I am building muscle and strength, which is what I need at my age. After hearing another close person was going to do the shots it was like I wanted to scream "NOT FAIR"! But I remained silent. Their health is their business and I know I am much healthier mentally and physically than they are. I just want to drop about 30-40 pounds just like that.
It was interesting that Ms. Morgan commented that I can drop the weight - but I have to watch my diet - and then she asked the question - how much protein do you eat every day? I paused at what I ate yesterday before going to the gym. I had my protein shake with strawberries and milk (protein mix has 17 grams of protein in it). Lunch was 1/2 sandwich - peanut butter on whole grain heel folded in half and a cheese stick. Hmmm...guess that isn't much protein or food, is it! Dinner was better. I had put a roast and carrots in a crock pot and fixed broccoli for dinner. I pulled out my weight watcher cookbooks last night and went through them. Lots of good and simple recipes. At least they are healthy and aren't always depriving me of what I want. I do need to push on getting more protein, which is why working out is hard sometimes. I need more protein. Premier Protein drinks have 30 grams of protein so I'm thinking I need to incorporate at least one or two a day as well as eating food with protein, i.e., chicken and fish and occasionally beef. Red meat isn't as good for you as you think. I found a recipe for catfish and I have some in the freezer so am going to try it tonight. Unless I talk myself out of it. But I do enjoy cooking.
So I started making up a grocery list. Some I'll pick up from Sam's Club, some I'll just go to Frys for. I don't need large quantity of some items sitting in the pantry and expiring before I use them all. I do need to go through the pantry and see what I have in there. Wish it was larger and more open. My NEXT house will have more cabinet and counter space in the kitchen AND a large pantry! Hope I live long enough to get what I desire. I could bake and cook every day! I just don't have a lot of room for it now. But I can dream.
It's been so long since I have fixed meals for my loved ones, I wonder what their favorite food is. I would love to fix it and try to have them over for a meal. I wonder if I could do that. I could even do it during the week (when I don't have training) as it can cook while I'm working. hmmm.. It's all part of my dream. Wouldn't it be fun to have family over on specific days of the week and I cook a meal for them? That is how I show my love for them. Cooking for them, spending time with them, making memories. Hmmm how could I do that? Some have specific things going on during the week. Some I don't want family conflicts brought over. UGH. It has already become difficult to figure out. I won't do for one and not for the others. Lord, help me figure this out. Maybe it would just be better to take the food to them. Or become depressed because I feel my hands are tied.
Philippians 4:4 (NIV): Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!
I read that verse and I am thankful that I have things I can rejoice about. God has been so very good to me, even when I have made stupid mistakes and paid the 'stupid tax' that Dave Ramsey is always talking about. 'Stupid tax' is what it is called when you purchase something you don't really need and still have to pay for it. Done that a few times. Or we sign up for something and then don't do it. Stupid tax.
I know beyond all measure that my hope in Jesus to help me in this journey of life is not in vain. He is the only reason I am still here. He is my 'hope and stay' as the song 'Great is Thy Faithfulness' states. It is in Him I trust; in Him that I can rejoice. When life is beating me up (or I feel it is), when disappointment comes at me, when the pain of sorrow becomes too much to bear, I can still rejoice in the One who knows me better than I know myself. Jesus is the Lord of my life, and I am not ashamed of it. He is my life. Can you say that? Is your dependence upon Him? Mine sure is. My future may be uncertain, but I know who holds my future. Do you?
Blessings!
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