2nd try this morning.....

 I started a post but have decided to leave it in draft mode for the time being.  Just sharing a stupid thing I have done on jailbreak.  Not important, but noticeable. And regrettable.

I was in a deep sleep this morning and it was around 5AM when I hear the great-grand yelp.  I felt bad for her. She was brave yesterday and decided she would get her ears pierced.  She had told us plenty of times that when she was ready, she would do it.  Yesterday while we were at the mall, she announced, "I am ready to get my ears pierced."  And she did.  She was really good getting them done.  But this morning, I imagine mama was putting the alcohol on them and turning them, and it wasn't going over well.  She was asking for them to be taken out last night.  Another day or two and she will forget about the initial pain of turning and dabbing with alcohol.  

I decided I needed to get up and get on my quiet time, but also thought the others were up and were just being quiet.  I wrote some in my journal, and since I had left the computer down here in the kitchen, decided to come down here.  No one is down here - and both doors were still shut. Perhaps they went back to sleep.  And that's ok.  I slept good last night after not getting much sleep the night before.  I found another pillow that was much softer than the one I had the night before - and that helped me sleep better, but my neck hurts this morning. I certainly miss my own bed and pillow!  

It's kind of funny, really.  I guess we are all starting to show we are getting older.  We go to bed by 9PM. And sleep while we can.  When the little one fell asleep enroute back here after a shopping trip, she slept two hours.  So mama and grandma headed upstairs to bed to grab a nap.  I stayed down here with the little one (on the couch) and worked on a baby blanket.  I am enjoying the time with 'my girls'.  

We are to go on the 'barefoot trail' this morning.  It's supposed to take two hours. I want to look it up and see what it is like. Hmmm.  I did a quick looksee.  You walk barefoot and the trail is only one mile. Surely I can do that.  They allow two hours to do it, not sure why.  You can wear sandals if you aren't used to walking outside. The only shoes I brought are my tennis shoes and flipflops - and I'm not wearing the flipflops on the trail. I will wear them to the trail, though.  I don't walk barefoot much now, but I was raised going barefoot!  I can remember even in winter time I would walk through the snow barefoot to the mailbox and get the mail (at the end of the driveway) and did it just fine.  Walked on rocks and it didn't bother me.  Then. Trust me, now, it would hurt!  But the purpose of the barefoot trail is for 'grounding', and I'm not going into that.  It's just going to be a fun thing to do this morning.  The ONLY thing that concerns me is that it is chilly up here in the mornings!  Our time isn't until 10:15 so hopefully it will warm up a bit.  But still, if you know me, you know how cold I can get.

I think we are done shopping while here. I haven't done too bad.  I did buy a few more $3.98 t-shirts while at Walmart that didn't have sayings on them.  Bought parfaits and donuts for breakfast.  And instant Starbucks coffee for me.  Granddaughter drinks decaf.  Daughter doesn't drink coffee.  Instant is better than none this morning.  Most airbnb have Kehrigs - but this one has a 'Mister Coffee'. And coffee BEANS. And I don't want to wake everyone by grinding beans. Instant will work for today and tomorrow. 

We talked about getting our nails done today, but not sure that we will.  I told them it didn't matter that much to me.  We can decide after the walk.  We may eat lunch and come back here and just chill.  I brought a book to read so I'm good either way.  Plus, of course, my kindle is on my phone too.

Ah - in looking at info on the Barefoot Trail, the reason it takes two hours (or could) is that they have adventure stations periodically spaced and also places you can sit and rest.  You know the little one will want to do an adventure station so it may take us two hours.  Me, I'm a 'get and go' type of girl. LOL  But I hear it also has a gift shop.  LOL

I am shocked that it is 6:45AM and all are still in bed.  What's up with that?  And here I am, cup of coffee next to me, eating powdered donuts.  Enjoying the quiet of the morning.  I'll give them until 7:30 and if they aren't up then, they will be awakened.  By me this time. :-)

And with all this rambling, I'll get off here and let you read about our 'fun day'. 

Blessings!

I don't like memory foam mattresses!

 We all made the trip up here just fine yesterday.  Did some walking at the mall and found that Hobby Lobby was there!  Yes, I enjoyed my browsing there. :-)  We had time to 'kill' before checking in so checked out a nail place (nope, not going there), and stopped at Penney's for a look see.  We plan on going back there today.  I let 'the girls' decide where Oma was going to be - and I got the master bedroom.  I am the oldest, after all!  And hence, the memory foam mattress.  I am willing to change out if the others don't have memory foam on their bed.  But, then, would have to move everything I've pulled out of my bag.  Maybe tonight will be better. 

I was awake for most of the night because of the bed, and our little one who chose to go to bed early, seemingly was awake frequently during the night.  I know, because I heard her. :)  This morning I am up early and just getting ready to type in here when my door opens.  Mind you, it is just about 5:15AM and the little one is at my door with mama.  Already dressed and ready for the day she is.  So here I am with my computer downstairs at the table watching the little one while mama and grandma get some sleep.  And that's ok. I promised her I will go over and work with the magnetic blocks with her after I get this done - so it may be short. She keeps wanting me to play. And I love being wanted.

We didn't go to the grocery yesterday so that is on the agenda for this morning, I think.  After breakfast. We will need to go out to eat or pick up something and bring back. Teach us to talk ourselves out of it.  We just bought a pizza last night and had it for dinner.  At least we have snacks the others brought. And I've eaten so many carbs you wouldn't believe it.  Think I will skip testing for a few days cause I don't think I want to know.

We have a couple other things to do today but only one that we have an appointment for.  My 'spa day' my daughter gave me for Christmas will start today.  All of us will be getting our nails done.  And I'll leave that there.

We have tickets to do our hike - can you believe it?  To climb this trail or walk this trail - whatever it is - we have to choose a time to do it, and pay for tickets.  Never heard of that before!  So the tickets are purchased for tomorrow at 10:15AM I think it is.  Part of me hopes it rains and we can get a full refund.  But if we are on the trail and starts to rain, I guess it depends where one is at on if a refund is issued.  They are open in the rain or sun.  I love to walk and hike so it should be fun.  I'm just feeling we are craming so many things in  -  but after that nothing is on the agenda that I am aware of and that is all for Saturday.

Well, the little one is grabbing my attention this morning wanting to go outside.  I'm not dressed yet, and she is, so she wants to go get my clothes for me to put on. I personally like my jammies in the mornings, as you know), until I'm ready to get dressed.  I guess that time is now.  

It's cooler up here - in fact too cool here in the house!  They had it set at 56 degrees when we arrived - so we turned the heat on.  This morning upstairs is much warmer than it is down here - I've already put on a sweater!  Oh - when we looked at photos of the airbnb, it seemed really nice.  The inside photos are beautiful.  We saw an exterior photo but it didn't connect.

Let me put it this way.  Tuesday night Morgan had me do a leg workout.  Wednesday night Morgan had me do a core workout.  Guess what we have here in the house that none of us were aware of - and would not have chosen this house had we connected the dots.  It has stairs.  15 stairs, to be exact. To get to the bedrooms.  So, yes, I am getting another leg workout as I climb the stairs - up and down - several times.  I had to text Morgan last night and let her know - she got a good laugh out of it.

And with that - I have to get off here and play with the little one.  Need to get my clothes on for she found a play shed in the back yard last night and that is where she wants to go.  So - maybe I can get her to play with the magnetic blocks a bit more.  In the meantime - have a great day - more tomorrow!

Blessings!

(you knew I couldn't let you miss a day right?)

Jailbreak is here and I have so much to do!

 I did start my packing yesterday.  In fact, after I got off work at 4PM, I started putting my things in my bag.  I went to the closet and pulled out my Jailbreak Getaway t-shirts.  I bring them in here and start to take off hangers but then needed something in the other room so walked into the front room and it hit me.  I looked at my watch.  It was 4:20PM.  I had to leave at 4:30PM for my training appointment!!  I hurriedly changed and headed off to the gym for my core workout.  Couldn't believe it had slipped my mind.  So grateful I remembered before it was too late to get there.  

Got home and fixed spaghetti for dinner and after eating, I started packing.  My little bag is full of my clothes. Yes, I'm trying to 'cut down' on my suitcase size. I get made fun of because my suitcase is so big.  But they take a half a dozen bags so it is the same, right? LOL  This time I will have two-three smaller bags instead of one large one (plus one). :-)  I just need to pack my makeup and essentials, my computer, and my Bible and journal. Perhaps a devotional. Still debating on that part; don't want to take more than I'll read.  Actually, all I need is my Bible and prayer, right?  R. T. Kendall, a great preach and author, was once asked in an interview what advice would he give to new preachers.  Would it be which seminary to go to? Would it be how to preach? What advice would he give?  It was really very simple.  "Read your bible and pray.  It doesn't matter what you learn in seminary.  It's what the Bible says and praying." (paraphrased).   I'm trying to decide carefully what I want to take with me.

As I skimmed my aol emails real quick this morning I saw a prayer request that had come through on Tuesday morning. If I recall, I was running 'late' in getting on the computer so skipped going through my emails.  During the day I rarely look at them, choosing to just skim them in the mornings.  But this one, which came through Tuesday morning, I needed to let hubby know.  So I got up and went to tell him.  He nearly broke down in tears.  Chuck Akers, his dear friend, had a stroke Tuesday morning and all it said was he was unable to speak, and asked for prayer for him and his family.  We've known Chuck for over 40 years.  He and hubby have played golf together and studied together in Bible classes, met for breakfast or lunch (they met just a few weeks ago).  I know hubby is scared and my leaving today for Jailbreak probably isn't a good time.  He is going to feel alone.  Really alone.  He is so afraid of leaving me alone... and he is afraid of being alone without me.  

I made a list last night of things I wanted to remember to take.  LOL Looking at my list, I need my big suitcase and a dozen more!  Not really.  But it looks like a lot, but it really isn't.  Not taking 'dress-up' clothes.  Just one pair of jeans and my workout pants - I can wear them more than once. In fact, I usually do. :-)  I do have a clean shirt for every day.  Realized I need to order new Jailbreak Getaway t-shirts - these are getting old and faded.  

I think I have figured out why I always look so fat and sloppy in photos.  And that is one reason I am having such difficulty in painting this photo my brother sent to us.  I look old, I look fat and slumped over.  I wear baggy t-shirts.  I've gotten size large t-shirts for years.  I like them feeling loose on me. But in every photo taken of me with them on, I look huge.  Am I being vain?  Probably.  I know I have a fat muffin belly.  I'm working on it.  I don't like tight fitting clothes, but I am going to try to find tops that fit better, and not hang so loose.  Picture a size 5 (which I am not, but I was back in 1967!) and wearing a size 16.  Yeah, frumpy.  I don't like this picture and it kills me to paint it. So I haven't. It is just there. I want to find another photo and have it printed on canvas to paint.  Will work on that soon. Not this morning.

We had a wonderful lunch with our new pastors yesterday.  We met at a deli we enjoy and had great conversation.  I was going to title today's blog 'I did it! I didn't monopolize the conversation!' LOL.  I know I've mentioned hubby getting after me after we meet with people and I do a lot of talking.  Well, I was very conscious of it and tried hard not to.  Hubby told me our pastor's wife talks a lot as well so we both had our own conversations.  It was a good lunch and we talked over an hour.  I found it interesting that if I shared about a book (after they asked), he would direct the conversation back to what he or we were doing (i.e., our evening devotional and prayer).  Or, since they were taking a six week sabbatical starting Monday, that we often take a few days and go to a hotel and 'retreat' to read and pray.  They may have found out enough about us to want to run from us, who knows!  LOL  Not sure how old they are, I'm guessing in their mid-40's as both have grown children.  I didn't ask and it doesn't matter.  They are a fun and lively couple who enjoy life. They have a boat up near Page, I think they said. Love being on the water. That might be where I draw the line.  Lakes and me really don't get along real well. I have to see the bottom of the water.

Psalm 37:4 (KJV):  Delight thyself also in the Lord; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. 

That verse doesn't mean that if we pray and do good and ask God for things that He will give it to us, just because we asked.  But if we are living for Jesus, and following His Word, and what we ask for is in line with what God wants to give us, He will answer our prayers.  I truly believe God has answered many of my prayers just the way I asked Him.  I also believe that He has NOT answered some of my prayers because I was asking amiss.  What do I mean?  I was asking for my benefit.  I pray for someone to be healed because I don't want them to die.  But perhaps God is allowing this person to die so that their life will be used to bring others to Him.  Does that make sense?  We all get old and die.  I'm going to die at some point and that reality is more real at 75 than it was at 50.  But for a young person ... it's harder to swallow if you don't understand the reason.  Or can not even comprehend the why.  It isn't for us to always know the answer.  I often have questioned God on why He allowed my dad, who was a pastor, to die..... and then when mother remarried, it was to an abusive man.  Why did God take my daddy away from us?  I don't know the answer to that.  

Why did my little brother's three children die in the fire back in 1986?  That was hard to take as well. I don't have answers for that either, and on this side of heaven, I will never know.  Losing his three children caused my brother to give up his own living.  He quit taking care of himself; he had nothing to live for, he felt.  I get that.  I could not bear to lose any of my children or grand or great grand children. But I can't tell God what to do. He is Sovereign and Holy.  I am not.  He rules the world. I do not.  He gives life, and He takes life.  I do neither. Well, maybe babies. But you get my drift, right?  God is above all things.  Even if He takes all I have away.  Even if He takes all I love away.  Even if He takes my very life, I will always love Him and worship Him and glorify Him.

Why? Because He is the One in whom I can trust fully all that I know, have, and possess.  He is Sovereign over all.  I could lose everything, and I would still have everything I need in Him.   Could you say that?  Maybe you need to rethink where you have God in your life.  Is He above all - or just part of your life?

Blessings!

One more day to go!

 Jailbreak Getaway starts tomorrow!  Yay!!  I am so ready for time off work and get away.  In thinking about it, this is the beginning of three 'trips' to be taken this summer.  This one, then in July we go to New Mexico, and in August - well, we haven't figured out where yet.  I spent over an hour last night looking at airbnbs in the northern parts of our state and found nothing I was willing to pay for.  Lots of nice places, don't get me wrong, but we've been north (because it is cooler) so many times, it doesn't hold any thrill for me.  After all, we don't DO anything, really.  Hubby can't walk far, as I've shared many times, and what else is left?  Will figure something out.  I'm sure he will be going through several places while I'm gone.  I don't want to pay out boo-koo bucks for a place to stay, and I reminded him that if we stay at an airbnb, I am not on vacation because I still have to figure out groceries and cook!  But I don't like eating out all the time either so I'm going to lose either way.  I found where we stayed at three years ago and it's available.  I found where she has another house as well and its available.  The bigger one has the porch where we loved to sit and watch the hummingbirds, chipmunks and other little animals run around.  The smaller one sometimes has elk walk up to the back porch area.  I know hubby just wants to get out of town where it will be cooler.  But both places are still about a 30 minute drive to the nearest market.  Oh what to do. I don't want to spend the money (could that be it?) and am willing to just stay home.  Even though we don't do anything - there are things we can do here and they are inside - just like up north.  

I guess staring at the computer all day for work and then staring at the computer last night looking for places to stay wore me out. Well, throw in a leg workout last night.  Tonight will be core.  Anyway - I slept until 3:15AM and decided I wasn't going to get up, fell back to sleep until nearly 5:30AM!  I am working today, but am already wishing that I was taking today off.  My favorite boss is on PTO today as she is flying to North Carolina for a nephew's wedding.  She won't be back to work until Tuesday.  My male boss is working, but I can look forward to the last week in June when he takes the entire week off.  I do have things going on today that will interfere somewhat with work.  I have my chiropractor at 10:30AM - which will take about 10 minutes.  Then we are having lunch with the pastors of our new church.  Sigh. I will need to be careful and not monopolize the conversation.  I wonder if hubby will remind me.  I hope that people will forget I'm leaving and not send me things to do.  

I have gained 3 pounds over the weekend and lots of eating things that are high in carbs.  I will admit that we had the last box of Girl Scout cookies that had two cookies in it - and I finished them off last night.  I did go looking for another box, but they are done.  I think. I am sure I have another box or two of the shortbread cookies somewhere.  Or maybe I've already eaten through them.  Hence the extra 3 pounds I put back on?  Sigh.  I can't saw we eat 'good' while on Jailbreak, but we really don't eat 'bad'.  We go out to eat a lot and it's on me to order food I should eat.  But I'm on vacation, so it shouldn't count, right?  I'll get back on track soon.  I just don't want to right now.  I need to shake it off.  I can do this, but I have begun to look at it as God created fruits and vegetables for us to eat and didn't he say that if the fruit has seed in it that we can eat it?  He put the carbs in it anyway.  So it still has to be good for us, right?  Sigh.  I've been pigging out on strawberries.  I want to go pick up some more today - but that means I'll be bush washing and coring them tonight - and I really don't have time for that.  So, I probably won't and hopefully they will have some next week and I'll go pick more up.

Ms. Diane called me last night. Her son had come over to visit and he heated up the 'garbage' I had given to Ms. Diane - and she said 'they' had it for lunch yesterday and he just raved about how good it was.  LOL  He is a single guy, of course homemade food tastes good to him.  But it does make me want to make more of an effort to take things over to her with extras.  She doesn't get much homemade food either.  Her daughter usually picks up food on her way to visit and fills the refrigerator with fruit and quick things that can be eaten. Rarely homemade food.  I guess it is a good thing I work since I do enjoy cooking.

Romans 12:15 (NIV):  Rejoice with those who rejoice; Mourn with those who mourn. 

Of course a sentence by itself can often be taken out of context.  But this is pretty straight forward, don't you think?  Are you not happy when others are happy?  Especially our spouses!  What is that saying - and it often has other words in it - If Mama (wife, husband, child, etc.) ain't happy, no one is happy.  Isn't that the way it goes?  LOL  We always want to keep 'mama' happy, don't we!  

A boss I had years ago, and I'm talking back in the 70's when I worked for Peachtree Fabrics, his name was Jim Nash.  He was a vice president of the company and he pulled me aside one day and gave me some very valuable advice.  He said, "The attitude you come in the room with is the one that is filtered out to everyone and it sets the tone."  If you come in angry or upset, people will sense it and they will start snapping at each other - and you - even though nothing is wrong.  If you come in happy and light-hearted, people will relax and be willing to help or just talk kindly.  Does that make sense?  

Maybe we all need to check our attitudes at the door and let our light shine through rather than our anger or meanness.  What do you think?  Do I have attitude problems?  I don't even have to ask for an answer to that question if you read in here often.  I speak (usually) what I think or feel in here most days. And I know it. Sigh.  I wish I was a better person who had a calm, pleasant, and good demeanor. But I have my days that my attitude just has to come out, right?  And I'm sure you do as well!

Be happy for those who are rejoicing and are happy.  But if someone is sad, be respectful of their sorry, for you certainly don't want to own that.  We all have sorrow come into our lives, sometimes of our own making.  

But in Jesus we can rejoice for He takes away the sins of the world and sets us free from the enemy. Hallelujah.

Sigh. Hubby is fussing this morning.  I had two loads of clothes to be washed yesterday.  He was home and so did my laundry. He forgot the second load was in the dryer and didn't take them out. No biggie, right? I just asked what he left in there - mainly my jammies, but a few t-shirts.  This morning he was saying he was going to put back in the washer in the rinse cycle to put back in the dryer to get the wrinkles out.  Sigh. I told him "IT'S PAJAMAS" and don't need the wrinkles out; it's ok.  I don't know what he has done, but I hear him walking back and forth in the hallway.  He has stressed over my laundry and he forgot the second load in the dryer.  I sneak and do mine sometimes on Friday mornings when he is gone.  I can do both loads and have put away before he even gets back. He does my laundry and it takes him two days.  

Lord, help!  I'm getting old too, and I forget things.  I think he is terrified of being here alone, although he seems to be putting on a good face.  He didn't go to Bible study last night because I am going to be leaving Thursday through Sunday and he wanted us to have an evening together (what about tonight?). He is getting so clingy!  He is so afraid something is going to happen to me, and he will be left alone. Do all older people feel that way?  I don't.  At least not now.  Maybe when I get old? HAH! 

Gotta go - time to get on the work computer.  Need to take a quick shower and get dressed. Busy day today!  Got packing to do.  YAY!

Blessings!

I did what I wanted to do....

 For me, yesterday was a good day.  I slept in a little.  I think. Maybe I should read what I wrote yesterday so I'd know.  Anyway, I wanted to go to Walmart first to pick up a few plants to replace the ones in the pots that have died, pick up the hose holder I wanted to get.  Hubby said he'd go with me. No problem.  Walmart's selection of plants was about nil.  Most were dying that were there, many needed water.  I found a couple that looked like they may survive so got them.  Went inside to get the hose holder I wanted.  And hubby had to say the words... "I knew you wouldn't just come in here for plants and the hose holder" as I looked for something else.  I ignored him and finished looking for pots for the back yard and we left.  

He suggested we stop at One Stop Nutrition for protein shakes for breakfast - which we did.  That took care of breakfast.  Shortly after getting back home I started cooking. Which I love to do, as you know. Or suspect.  I made my 'garbage' and divided it up into containers to put in the freezer and for Ms. Diane and Ms. Vicky.  I made my homemade spaghetti sauce.  It stayed in the skilled and simmered and cooled while I visited both of our neighbors.  I took over garbage and frozen strawberry dessert to both.  Ms. Diane ate nearly all of the dessert.  Her daughter had brought her Famous Dave's bbq ribs so she had those for lunch.  After visiting with Ms. Diane, I headed over to Ms. Vicky's with the same thing, only I remembered to grab a bag of strawberries as well.  We visited for about an hour and I came back home to put the spaghetti sauce in containers and in the freezer as well as clean up my messy kitchen.  

Dinner was easy.  I had brought home some wings from the graduation party so heated those up and added garbage to the plate - and that was dinner.  And with eating poorly over the weekend - too much pasta and carbs, for sure, I've gained two pounds. Need to get refocused on cutting the pounds OUT, not adding them IN.  Sigh. It sue is a tough process.  Of course the 4 little cookies I ate before bed didn't help any, I'm sure.  Just carbs, right?  At least I finished the package. I hate having a package of cookies with only one or two left in it.  Might as well get rid of them, right?  I know I'm going to eat them; it's just a matter of 'when'.  Might as well put that to rest, right?

Back to work today.  I work today and tomorrow and then I get to head out - finally - for our Jailbreak Getaway.  Heading to Flagstaff where it is cooler, for sure.  I'm looking forward to doing some fun things (I hope) and relaxing with my girls.  Looking forward to hanging out and getting to 'know' them better.  Other than my daughter, I really don't see anyone very often.  And it's been 2-3 weeks since I've seen her!  She's been gone the last week but I think the plan is they will fly back home tomorrow.  Hope so, since we are to head out on Thursday morning and she is driving!   Which reminds me, I need to get to the bank at some time soon.

Acts 20:24 (NKJV):  However, I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task that the Lord Jesus has given me - the task of testifying to the good news of God's grace.

I know I have shared before how grateful I am for God's grace, that He would take all the bad stuff I have done in my life, and forgive me, and wipe my slate clean.  He has taken all that ugly black stuff out of my life and replaced it with His love, His joy, His light.  I am so very grateful, for I was a real mess.  Most people don't know my past, and I choose to leave most of the details out when sharing. But know that all of it, even the things I refuse to share with others, God knows, and He forgives my part in it.  I am a sinner, saved by Grace.  Forgiven, not in part, but in whole.  Not just pieces of my past, but all of it.  Grateful to be loved like that.

And you are as well, when you sit yourself down and sincerely talk with God and tell Him what is on your heart.  Tell Him the things of your past you have allowed to burden you and crush you. Your pain, your sorrow, your grief of the past.  He takes all that 'stuff' we hold in, and soothes our troubled soul and cleanses us from all unrighteousness.  Hallelujah!  Thank You Jesus!

Wow - looks at her go!  I have my window shade open and there is this woman quickly walking for her daily walk - she is fast!  I bet she could walk this block in less than a minute!  She is hustling!  That COULD be me, you know.  I COULD not write in here and instead take that 30 minutes that I pause to think of things to write about and try to write about, to get a walk in. But no, I'd rather sit here in my jammies and mentally walk.  Whoa!  There's another one!  The cool mornings have brought a lot of women out.  And then - LOL - there is this guy in a cowboy hat and like a sleeveless high neck shirt carrying his coffee cup and walking his little bitty tiny dog.  LOL  Sorry, it's a funny picture, if you think about it.  Big guy, big coffee cup, big cowboy hat... walking this little 6" dog on a leash.  

And with that - I need to get off here and kick on the work computer.  I know I have a pre-board meeting this morning at 8AM - first one I have to attend for the new board I was given.  Yes, I need to change my attitude on that.  They aren't going to give me back the other.  I told them I'd do both, but no, they would rather force me to do the one I don't want.  UGH.  It's a 6AM board meeting a week from Thursday.  At least it is every other month - but I'm pushing for them to make it once a quarter - and my male boss is in agreement with me.  By the end of the year, we just might get it!

Hope that you had a good weekend and are looking forward to a great week.

Blessings!

It was a good day

 We went to church yesterday morning and the pastor preached a very good message. Came home for a bit before heading over to the graduation party for the grandson.  Did a quick run to pick up a granddaughter and her son so that they could attend for awhile.  Food was good.  Ate more wings than I ever have (4 or 5) I think.  Even the hot and the mango something or other - it wasn't that hot.  The hot was more hot, I think.  Anyway - food was good and I ate way too much.  Stayed a few hours then took the granddaughter and great grandson back home and we came home.  I did not cook dinner.  

But I did do a run to the grocery store cause I plan to do some cooking today.  I haven't done it for a little while and want to - making garbage, and maybe my spaghetti sauce, and taking some over to Ms. Diane, Ms. Vicky, and possibly a new one, Dee.  I'm older than she is by several years and she lives across from Ms. Vicky and next to Ms. Diane.  She fell the other day and I'm not sure what to call it, but they had to put a metal plate over her knee and she also chipped bones on both sides of it - or something like that. But she is single, and is laid up.  I've noticed a couple cars there off and on the past few days and she had told hubby her son and daughter have been there to take care of her.  I'm still debating if I need to take food over, but hubby seems to think 'that would be nice'.  This is the lady who I went to lunch with right after she moved in and she irritated me enough that I refuse to do it again.  She ruined my lunch by trying to tell me what to do about something in my job I was working on.  And she never shuts up.  Anyway - I may not take anything there, but I still have the other two.

I finished The Power of Persistence last night and that makes 20 books for the year that I have remembered to input and check off in Goodreads.  I have 30 to hit my goal.  Now if I read fiction novels, I'd probably have two-three a week - lol - but because I like reading books that help me, not entertain me so much, it takes me a bit longer.  And then there is the TV, of course.  We watched several episodes of NCIS (gotta love Mark Harmon) and then watched a movie.  It was nearly 11PM before we went to bed.  And of course my mental side woke up about 4AM.  But sometime during the night my watch was buzzing that the battery was low.  That's why I flip back and forth on a watch.  My Apple I have to charge every day, sometimes before I even go to bed!  But I am used to it and it did cost a lot of money.  Which is why I hang on to it and keep using it. Some day, though, I may just change my mind...

As mentioned above, today I plan to cook garbage and spaghetti sauce and put some int he freezer for hubby for when I'm gone later this week.  YES!  Two more days and it's JAILBREAK TIME, Baby!!  We head out Thursday morning and won't be back until Sunday afternoon.  I am working the next two days (off today, of course) but then four happy days away.  Back to my thoughts, I will take some of the food to the two women and then put some in the freezer for hubby while I'm gone.  I need to figure out what else he can eat. Poor thing, he won't cook, but he can heat up food.  He can fry bacon and eggs so I'm not worried about him and breakfast.  He may even lose a couple pounds while I'm gone. LOL  While I may gain it!  After all, it's vacation, right?

I have done some additional sleeping this morning here in my chair so am grateful that I don't have to work today.  And, I 'm in no hurry to come out  - but it is after 8AM and I probably should.  I think hubby got up at 5 or so.  After he brought my coffee, I just settled back in my chair and went back to sleep.  I read my bible until I started falling asleep, so put it away and really fell back into a deep sleep. Just because I could.  I'm more alert now. But reading this, you may wonder, right?

I saw that Phil Robertson, the great Duck Commander, as they called him, has passed away.  He was only 79 and it does make someone around that age or older pause and think.  I will be 76 this year, and yet I don't 'feel' like it.  I'm grateful I have pushed to be somewhat active, although not as much as I want to be.  I told hubby the other night that we are not going to spend the summer sitting at home, that I want to do things.  He just looked at me.  Cost-wise, I will be figuring out what.  I know we have talked about going up to Bearizona and I would love to go, but it is always more fun to go with someone else.  I think they close some during the summer, will have to go online and see when that is. Maybe it can be a place we go to this summer.

It's already 80 degrees out.  Not going to be going out much today!  I do want to run to Walmart this morning for a couple things.  But will need to fix breakfast first for hubby.  It's not open yet anyway.  And I'm in my jammies.  

It was so good to spend some time with both my boys yesterday, even though I had to share them. 

John 3:17 (NKJV):  For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through Him.

Can you even imagine the thought of sending your child, your son, your one and only begotten son, to save someone else?  I can't.  But that is what God did, for you and for me.  Or is it for me, and for you?  I am grateful that God did that for us.  I definitely needed saving.  And you do too.  Life is so much better when you follow Jesus.  He doesn't tell you to change your life.  He just tells you to 'Follow Me'.  In time, you will want to change your life to reflect His.  I still have a long way to go.  Trying to shut my mouth and not make sarcastic comments is hard at times.  I REALLY ran some thoughts through my head this week.... but I resisted saying ANYTHING.  Can you even imagine that!  But I knew that I shouldn't so I was able to keep most, if not all thoughts, silent.  It's a learning and slow process, so please bear with me.

Our neighbors are in their courtyard with a shovel. They just have had a plant die or something.  They are nice neighbors, but keep to themselves anymore, just like we do.  My one rose tree is just not going to make it, my other one is still fighting to live.  I didn't think about the sun beating down on them and killing them right from the 'get go' but it has.  The center rose bush that has been there since we moved in is also showing signs of dying.  Too much sun I guess.  My jasmine are next to the house and seem to be fairing well.  As are the other plants that are under the roof next to the garage.  However, the two beautiful pots of petunias I had set out on the columns are totally dead.  I need to take them down and go buy a few plants and put in there. Vincas this time, I'm thinking. They seem to fair well in hot weather.

And with that, I need to get off here and get started on my day. At least get dressed.

Memorial Day.  A day to remember those who have gone before us.  My oldest son posted a photo of his father's gravestone. It always grabs me when I see it.  We were together during his time in Viet Nam.  He learned to smoke and drink when he was in the army, but never too much.  That I'm aware of, anyway.  And with that, my thoughts are everywhere so am off here.

Have a great day!  Be safe!

Blessings!

Sorry to disappoint you....

 but nothing magical is going on at the moment in life.  I did go get strawberries. Hubby went with me. And then sorta made me angry.  I had planned to fix him breakfast, but I wasn't really hungry.  While we were out getting the strawberries he said he'd buy breakfast.  His first thought was a sandwich at Bosa Donuts (yes, we skip the donuts and get a breakfast sandwich - and they are good).  Then he says Mercers or Dennys, and I understood he really wanted a meal versus a sandwich.  Sigh.  To keep peace we went to Denny's.  Very surprised it wasn't full.  And it was about 9:30AM on a Saturday morning!  We quickly got a booth and our waitress had a personality and arrived quickly to get our drink order (coffee and water of course - and the coffee was strong and good!)  Hubby ordered the country fried steak and all that went with it. I ordered the veggie omelet.  Now mind you, I wasn't hungry in the first place.  Sigh.  I ate about 1/2 of the omelet and there was no way any more was going down the hatch.  The waitress asked if I wanted a box and was surprised when I said no.  Hubby cleaned his plate up.  And then we headed home.

It was about 10:15AM by this time and Ms. Vicky had already called me about going to the pool.  I called her and told her yes, that I was still going to take her and go with her. Changed into my swim suit and picked her up about 11:10 and up to the rec center we went.  All she does is walk back and forth the length of the pool about 20 times she said.  We lost count as we were talking.  Her friend came a little later and I got to meet her.  We were in the water over an hour, I'd guess, just walking back and forth.  When I got out my legs felt like lead.  We sat in the chairs around the pool until we sorta dried out and then home we went.  Took a shower to wash off the chlorine from the pool and realized I got a little bit burned on the shoulders, back and arms.  Oops.  I did wear sunscreen but in the pool it washed off, of course.

After my shower, I got really busy.  I soaked and cored 3 cases (8 packages in each case) of strawberries.  It took me at least a couple hours for that.  Then I decided I needed to make this delicious frozen strawberry dessert Ms. Diane and others like.  Made up a couple batches of that, fixed dinner, we ate, and I called it done.  I cleaned up my 'mess' and went to sit down in the front room.  Too tired to read I started to crochet, then decided to watch a movie cause if I'm going to crochet, may as well watch something, right?  

I slept sound until 3AM and then couldn't really go back to sleep.  I still tried to and in between prayers, I think I did doze.  And that was my yesterday.  Today we have the grandson's graduation party after church.  Since we will not know many people there, it will definitely be a come and go time for us.  I imagine we will go over about noon-ish and then leave to come home.  Hopefully we will be there about the same time as our oldest boy; he had mentioned he would be stopping by.  We will get out of church about 10:15AM as we go to the early service.  Come home, change - unless I decide to wear jeans to church... anyway - unless I get a call they need some help, which I doubt as she always calls her family, which is ok - we won't get there early.  Except maybe to get a parking spot.  Don't remember how much room there is.

These dang gnats are still everywhere.  I changed out the sticky things in two of the receptors and they were full - twice in a week's time!  I'm watching one in here now.  They are everywhere, and we have no fruit sitting out, we have no house plants.  Our exterminator said to pour bleach down the drains at night in case they are laying seeds there - and we do occasionally, don't want to damage the pipes with bleach.  We have one in hubby's office, one in the kitchen, and two in the front room.  And we still can't figure out where they are coming from - although the thought also was presented that they come in through the screen, but we rarely have the front door open.  So - am unsure where they are coming in at - and we aren't the only one as I've asked others and they said they have them too - even our exterminator!  As far as I'm concerned, they can go away!  NOW.

When was the last time you were desperate for God to do something for you?  Perhaps it was to heal a spouse, a parent, a child, a friend - or even you.  How desperate were you that they would be healed?  If God told you to do something simple and you would be healed, would you be obedient and do it?  I think again to the story of Namaan in the Bible and how he went to Elisha with all his pomp and circumstance (money, fine clothing, etc) to give great gifts for his healing..... and Elish didn't even come out to meet him, instead sending his servant to tell Namaan to go dip in the Jordan River seven times and he would be healed.  

Of course that made Namaan mad because the Jordan Rivers wasn't clean - after all, it also flowed into the Dead Sea.  Namaan stormed off, mad at what he was told.  But one of his servants told him something that brought a little bit of humility.  "My father, if the prophet had told you to do something great, you would not have hesitated to do it.  But he told you to do something simple, like dipping yourself 7 times in the Jordan River - do it so that you can be healed."  (all my words)  Namaan swallowed his pride and went to dip himself in the Jordan River and was healed.  What if he had only dipped himself once?  No healing.  Dipped himself twice?  No healing. Dipped himself three times, four times, five times, six times, he would have no healing.  It took being obedient to what he was told - 7 times, and as he came up out of the water the 7th time, his skin was new like a young boy's.  

And all it took was obedience.  Why didn't Elisha tell Namaan to do something great?  Because doing something great would build up his pride.  Doing something great for his healing would make him think he could just do that whenever he was sick.  His pride would go through the roof.  After all, he was a great man in his country.  (Rumor has it that he was the one who had killed King Ahab.)  Namaan had to swallow his pride and be obedient to what Elisha, the prophet of God, told him.  And when he obeyed, he was healed.

How many times has someone spoken into our lives and given us wise advise and we turned away to do things our way because we didn't want to do what they said?  I think we do it all the time.  Ok, I can confess.  Sometimes when hubby tells me to do something I will rebel.  Not because I shouldn't do it, but because I don't want him telling me what to do.  Sometimes I have to remind him that I'm 75 years old and I think I might know a thing or two.  A good example is when I was going to the pool yesterday he told me to wear sunscreen.  I have rarely worn sunscreen all these years. But, to keep the argument down, I went to the hall closet only to find I had thrown them away as expired (after all, it has been 5 years since we had a pool and we rarely go out in the sun for any length of time).  He went to his bathroom and found one with 50 spf that he had and made me put it on.  It was easier to obey him and do it than continue to fight with him about minding his own business.  Sometimes you just need to swallow your pride and do it.  Not that putting sunscreen on helped a whole lot.  I did put it on - and yet my shoulders, back, chest and arms got burnt a bit because they were out of the water; the rest of me was in the water.  When we sat out to dry off, we weren't there very long so nothing on my legs.  And that's ok.  It doesn't hurt, but I know my skin is pink.  And I can guarantee you that I will NOT let hubby know that it is red!  I don't need his comments!  But sometimes, we do need to be obedient, not that we don't know better, but because we need to do it.  Right?  Sigh.

Bottom line, listen to what you are told and be obedient if it is the right thing to do.  Don't let your foolish pride keep you from obedience; it just might be the thing that brings joy, hope, faith - and obedience to your walk.  Weigh each advice carefully; especially the one your mind throws at you when you are 'told what to do'.  (I tell hubby he is NOT my step father and he cannot tell me what to do! Talk about getting in a 'discussion'!!  I choose my words carefully.  But sometimes it is easier to just do what he says (or let him think you did) than fight.  Right?

And with that - I'm off here.  Need to do something with my hair.  Sigh.  I can't make a decision.  My rebellion over control of my hair wants it long.  Hubby wants it short. I wore it down to graduation and his comment to me was 'I'm surprised you wore your hair down; why didn't you put it up (cause it makes it looks shorter, I imagine)?  I mentioned that my pony tail wasn't long enough to look pretty so he commented back they when I pull it back it looks nice.  Sigh.  But I think I will curl it and pull it back today - it's going to be another hot one.

Have a great day!

Blessings!

I think I missed a good time

 I finally got around to reading my son's blog about 30 minutes ago and he commented he wondered if he called me at 5:30AM if I would go with him.  Little did he know, I just got up at 5:30AM - but I would have gone with him to plant the flags.  I would love to get involved in things and become 'alive' again - if you know what I mean.  With not being in an office, and living so far outside the 'big city', I have declined a lot of opportunities to do things.  Like the Heart Walk, the Leukemia Walk, the Cancer Walk, and numerous other things.  I love being involved in the community.  Hubby not so much.  Planting flags he may have though, just because of what it is for.  I don't think my son called; didn't see a call.  I don't know when it starts or when it is over, but I'm thinking they are already at it since it is going to get very hot later in the day.

I promised Ms. Vicky I would take her to the pool today and walk it with her (walking maze pool) at the rec center.  Remember, I got out of it last week - and would like to get out of it today, but I promised.  I think it is 11:30AM se wants to go.  I'll have to text her soon and find out.  I've never done it, and I'm sure I will enjoy it, I just need to do it for the first time.

My big brother sent me a video and photos of them in Indiana (at 57 degrees, mind you!) out at the strawberry farm and picking strawberries.  Me, I'm going down to the place I get my produce and buy 3 cases of strawberries this morning. Which means I need to get busy and get dressed and head down that way.  Then I will be cleaning strawberries, coring them, and freezing them.  Yeah, we use them for shakes and for my cranberry strawberry jam.  And whatever else I can come up with.  # cases for $20 versus $10 a bag from the grocery, which is about 1/3 or less of one case.  

I went to the graduation of the grandson yesterday and it was nice.  Felt like an outsider pretty much as it was just my son and me... and the rest was his wife's relatives and friends that came.  I was going to dinner with them afterwards and hubby was going to join us there - but I bailed on dinner when I found out the graduation didn't start until 6PM and we wouldn't get to the restaurant until about 8-8:30PM.  Nope. We don't eat that late.  It's usually around 4-5PM that we eat - 6PM at the latest.  We don't like going to bed on a full stomach - and we go to bed about 8:30PM! Except on weekends.  Last night it was about 10PM as we just wanted to chill once I got home - which was about 8:30-9PM or so.  Which is why we slept later than usual.  Although 5:30AM is still early.

My brother and his wife and family are always doing fun stuff.  They are active and just enjoying life.  It grieves me that we don't do that and makes me want to find things for us to do.  But, because I wasn't 'raised' in a house where we did anything (sorry, kids, I dumped that on you too) and haven't ever really been involved in things the last 40+ years.... it makes me sad, but makes me want to doing  is a start today?

Cutting this short today - got to get the strawberries before meeting up with Ms. Vicky.  Probably will need to fix hubby breakfast.   It is what it is.

Catch you later - have an awesome day - maybe tomorrow I will have something great to share.

Blessings!

Hmmm I was going through my emails....

 and I must have clicked something cause all of a sudden, my blog came up!  So here I am - I usually delete 99.9% of my emails anyway so waiting until later to delete them is no big deal.  I rarely use aol anymore - but because I have them linked to some other accounts, I still check it daily for things. You just needed to know that, didn't you.

Decided I was hungry so ran to the kitchen to get me a couple of the 'egg brownies' I made the other day - and 1/2 cup orange juice.  It should tie me over for a bit.  My workout last night - HIIT - (aka High Intensity Interval Training) was brutal last night - and I got two sets of everything done and part of a third set.  It just about wiped me out!  Whipping the ropes, 'jumping jacks' with the 20 lb ball, swinging a 35 pound kettle bell, pushing 35 lbs weight down the path and back, and jumping over a weight bench (back and forth) - yeah, got my heart rate up to 144 last night (my highest is 146).  My normal heart rate is 54.  Yeah, she worked me.  And I loved every minute of it.  Hubby and I went for Sardella's pizza afterwards. My reward, right?  LOL

Yesterday wasn't busy at all for work.  I had a couple meetings to schedule but nothing crazy.  I looked online for some places hubby and I can go to for our anniversary.  He really wants cooler weather - and that's ok. I just don't want to spend a lot of money.  And, if we get an airbnb - the vacation is for him - I still have to grocery shop and cook meals.  If we go to a hotel, we eat out and spend more money then needed.  I'm ok with staying home - but then we don't do anything.  We did that one year.  He doesn't like to walk, as I've mentioned before, and getting outside in the heat wears him out.  We will head north, I'm just not sure where he is thinking.  He will let me know soon, I'm sure.

Five days left until Jailbreak - and I am so ready.  I'm mentally and physically tired. I need a do nothing break and be ok with it

Today hopefully won't be too busy.  I know I have a couple meetings already to create as I looked at emails last night.  I'm taking off at 2:30PM today for a grandson's graduation and then dinner afterwards.  Hubby isn't going to the graduation, but will join us for dinner.  And we have a 3-day weekend ahead of us!  In fact, I only work two days next week - Tuesday and Wednesday - cause Thursday morning we head out for Jailbreak. YAY!!

I went out to check on my plants last night... and watered them.  Even the lemon tree leaves are starting to curl - and it has the sprinkler on it!  My one rose bush is about totally gone, but I watered it good last night and hope that it will pull out.  The other gets a little shade but it is also wilting from the sun.  The two pots of petunias that I had put on the columns have just about totally died.  Vincas survive better so I think I will go get vincas this weekend and exchange them out.  The vincas we have planted - two in direct sun - are growing very well.  It's already been over 100 degrees and my plants are just not happy with it.  I may not buy any more (other than the vincas) for I'm tired of throwing money away and them dying so quickly.  I wonder if I can cut off a piece of this rose tree and see if I can get it to root.  I'll have to do some research and see if I can.  Maybe if it had been planted in cooler weather and out of the direct sun it would have survived.

Reading a book on Desperation - I think I've mentioned it before.  When was the last time you were desperate for something?  By that I mean - were you desperate enough to call on God for help?  When you heard from Him, and He provided, were you desperate enough in your situation that you followed His instructions?  That you were in obedience to Him?  

Think about the story of the widow with two sons in 2 Kings.  She was about to lose the roof over her head. She would be put out in the streets, and her sons would be sold into slavery.  The widow woke up to the reality of her condition. By turning to the prophet Elisha, she was turning to God for help. God is more than willing to come to our need and to be our supply.  He is able to do "above and beyond all that we ask or think - according to the power that works in you." (Ephesians 3:20).

Elisha asked her, "What do you have in the house?" He asked a simple question; he did offer financial counseling.  She would be released from her situation when she was desperate enough to do what was asked of her.  If you read it - or know the story, she tells him all she has is a little oil.  He told her to gather all the empty jars she could find.  She went to her neighbors, all through the town and gathered all the empty jars that she could. She went back to Elisha and told him she had the empty jars.  He told her to start pouring.  She went back home and started pouring oil out of the little flask that she had left.  God provided - and the oil kept coming out until she asked a son to bring her another jar - and he told her there were none left empty - and the flask stopped pouring oil    The widow went back to Elisha for instructions and he told her to sell it all, pay off the debt, and they could live on the rest.

The widow got desperate enough to ask for help - and did what she was told to do.  What if she had thought, well, there is no way this little flask can do that but I'll gather a couple jars because Elisha said to.  It may have filled those couple of jars, but her situation would not have changed much.  She gathered every empty jar she could - and had plenty full of oil to sell and pay off their debt and have money to live on after.

Are you desperate enough to cry out to God for help?  Maybe you need help with your health.  Are you doing what you can to get better?  Maybe you need help with finances.  Are you watching how much you are spending on things that you really don't need?  Maybe you have come into some money and are lavishly spending it instead of saving it, because you think it will keep coming in ... and it might ... but - what if you died?  What would your family have then? The money would no longer come in.  

Trust me, I have learned not to be so needy that I want everything.  Yes, I spend money and all, but I make sure our bills are paid in full and we have no debt other than the house and hubby's car (as far as I know!).  Paying down credit cards don't help - you are still giving them your money in interest.  STOP IT!  Pay off the credit cards! So what if they close them.  Who cares?  Keep one for emergencies and cancel the rest!  Ok - off my soapbox.  You know who you are!

Where has the time gone - I have to get on the work computer and get off here.  At least tomorrow I won't be on a timetable in the morning so I can take my time and ramble all I want.

Have a good day!

Blessings!

6 days and counting

 Yes, I am counting.  Six more days until Jailbreak!  I am so ready to get away from work, hubby, and life as I live it daily - and run away up north to play.  I know, just different people, different scenery.  But, at last it is different.  I've been opening up not only the individual shutters in this room, but the entire thing to where I can see out the window (through the sun screen) without squinting through the shades.  sigh.  My new tea rose trees ae dying.  I did the plant app on them last night and it said they were getting too much sun.  And they do get a lot, I noticed the other day.  But I thought they would survive, but they are not.  I think I can take them back to Lowes and get them replaced since it has been less than two weeks.  May try to do that this weekend.  Looks like this other rose bush that I don't like has a lot of dead leaves on it too. It was here when we moved in and I never have liked it.  My SIL and I discussed cutting it back and see if it will grow anew, or just removing it.  Didn't make a decision; this may make the decision for us.  He is currently out of state so will have to make a decision when I get back from Jailbreak.  Can.Not.Wait.

The board meeting went well yesterday; I did have the 'other' admin do the slides and I just listened in. She forgot to take attendance; luckily I was able to do so since I wasn't doing the slides.  I did get permission from my male boss, who is the president of both boards, to change the content of the 'other' board that he gave me, and make it like this one.  I started working on it yesterday and will work on it some today. I don't think I have much to do today. Not that I remember, anyway.  

We had dinner with friends last night. Luckily. I txt'd her mid-morning to see if they wanted to do dinner - and we were able to.  We have stuff going on for the next couple of week so I knew it would be even later if we didn't.  They will head up Friday to Payson where they have a trailer. They go up EVERY weekend.  But, if you have a place that's yours, I guess you make the effort. They have been doing this for years. With Memorial Day being Monday and most people are off work (me included), it makes a nice long weekend.  Not sure what we are going to do just yet.  I'm content with getting in a baking mode. :-)  We did end up at Black Bear Diner and I got my usual - bacon cheeseburger salad.  It is huge and tastes just like a cheeseburger without the bread.  I love it.  Did bring about 1/3 of it home and will have it for lunch today.  

Speaking of baking - I did a recipe for an easy egg dish I saw on facebook yesterday.  I made it in my brownie tin - and they actually came out fairly good - but bland.  It's a great recipe for a quickie breakfast but I prefer my eggs ole'.  In fact, I mentioned to hubby I am going to make up a batch of eggs ole' and maybe freeze some.  Thinking about it, don't know if I have put in the freezer before.... don't want to ruin it.  I am in a baking mood, but, not for healthy stuff.  Brownies keep coming to mind as I have a box mix I really think I need to use.  But then I have to give it away cause I certainly can't eat it!  Well, not more than one piece of it, anyway.

Galatians 5:13 (NKJV): You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free.  But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love.

I finished a chapter in The Power of Persistence the other day on praying for your children.  It really convicted me to be really praying not only for my children, but for my grandchildren, and even my great grandchildren.  This world is a hard place to live in; our times are turbulent and difficult.  We all need to be praying for our children, that they will not be swayed by the world, but to be living in the Word of God and making wise choices.

Some people just do not realize that following Jesus is not that hard.  Seriously.  We look at the Bible as our list of 'don't' - but it really isn't.  It's full of 'do this' and you will be blessed.  I choose to be blessed than to live in the way of the world and be given a list of don't.  What about you?

God has allowed us to make our own choices.  Granted, we all make unwise choices at times.  I know I have. Some of my wild and stupid choices God has gotten me out of them.  Some He has chosen to let me live through and in them.  But in reality, are they really that bad?  I know, I gripe and whine and complain a lot about my life.... but in reality, I have a pretty good life.  Yes, I'm admitting it.  I live a good life.  I have a great job.  We have found a church we both like.  And we don't have to wait a year for our new pastors to meet with us over a meal - we're meeting next week for lunch!  When we asked them to meet with us over a meal - their first response was "Yes!  We want to get to know you!"  (yeah, I know, that could be the end of a great friendship, right?  Just kidding!)  When I saw Pastor Lindsay last week she came to me and gave me a hug - it wasn't me going to her!  That makes a difference!

Are you kidding me?  The landscaper with the weed eater just walked across our yard against the bushes and may turned the weed eater for 5 seconds and walked away.  These landscapers are lazy and only do a half-butt job.  Yeah, I have a beef against them. Our grass is horrible looking.  I think they ought to let us make our own decisions about our yard and let each one weed and seed and mow their own.  Less cost to the landscaper.  We have 3 in our neighborhood - this block alone - with their condos up for sale because of the HOA/landscaping issues.  LOL I found out last week that the catty corner neighbor had dirt dumped in his back yard (community property) and seeded and watered it on his own. No one saw what he was doing.  And I'm not telling. Of course hubby is not in the HOA now - in fact, he didn't even go to the community meeting yesterday.  I never go, using my job as a reason - it's usually in the afternoon during the week.  And, enough of that.

We do have freedom to do a lot of things - and with that, our choices are not always the right ones.  Perhaps we need to put a pause on our choices and rethink things before we buy something, before we do something, before we say something.  My usual problem is that the words pop into my brain and out my mouth on a slide before I know what is coming out.  You have that problem?  I need to shut the gate of the mouth and let the thought pause before speaking it - well, most times, anyway.

And with that - I'm shutting off my fingers and going to jump in the shower.  LOL  The landscapers are not even mowing the grass today - this person is walking around the yard with the weed eater and 'mowing down the weeds'.  Wait - what?  He has walked across the street and that is in another hOA>  Ah - here comes the edger guy - he's across the street.  We really need some professionals here.  AH - I got to get off here!  And quit watching out my window!

Have a great day!

Blessings!

I was actually surprised.

 I overdosed on carbs yesterday.  It was a somewhat stressful day and I ate a banana. I think it has 27 carbs in it - really!  And I had rotisserie chicken I needed to use up - and threw in a crockpot and added chicken stock and noodles... and yeah.... I was so hungry I ate a bowl of it in the afternoon AND at dinner last night!  I told hubby we will have some for lunch, and the rest will go in the freezer for another time I don't want to cook.  I didn't have regular noodles, and I didn't want to make any, so just used the bowtie pasta I had on hand.  Anyway - it was good, and I really expected my weight to be up today - instead I lost a whole pound overnight!  Could it be my body has been craving carbs?  I sure ate my share of them the last couple of days.

Hubby had me concerned last night.  I mean really concerned, too.  He went to Bible study last night and he came back in and seemed to be unstable in his walk some as he came around the back room.  I asked him if he was ok.  He just had that heaviness look about him.  He said that he was just extremely tired, although he had done nothing all day but read.  He didn't even have a workout yesterday - but did this morning, and he just left for it.  He seems to be a bit better since he got some rest.  But I was very concerned as I hadn't seen him like this before, where he just looked wiped out. Then again, he is 88 and I guess it will happen at times.  But I would expect it more when he has completed a task.  I take that back - he did do his laundry yesterday so he did do something.  

My sister swears by the 'Balance of Nature' fruits and veggies capsules. She says that she doesn't even need to take a nap in the afternoon when she takes those, as she has so much energy.  So I finally gave in and bought a bottle of each.  For both, through Amazon, it is $89 I think.  I received the first bottles yesterday and took the three capsules of each this morning.  Now to see if they will help me.  I'm thinking of just going ahead and ordering a set of bottles for hubby and see if that will help him.  Maybe we both will get some energy to DO something rather than just sit around the house.  I'm just as guilty of that as he is anymore.  I WANT to get out and do things, but don't want to deal with comments and discouragement so don't even try.  I instead bury myself in crochet and movies.  Kick my butt to the curb and get some walking in, I hope!

Finished up I, II, and III John this morning.  Great books of the Bible and if you would take the time to read them, you will see how much love is valued in life.  Love for Jesus, love for our Heavenly Father, Love for the Holy Spirit, and love for each other.  

Sometimes it is really hard to love others.  I get it. I have that same problem.  We can love them, but it doesn't mean that we have to 'like' them or deal with them.  But we must be kind.  I can't find the verse I was wanting to add, and I'm running out of time this morning - again.  

Sigh.  And my eyes are getting ready to do their 'ocular migraine' thing where I lose part of my vision for about 20 minutes in one eye. They say there is no cure for ocular migraines, but I don't see why there isn't.  At least I don't get a headache - well, rarely will I feel anything.  It's just things I'm reading will all of a sudden have darkness covering some of the letters.  Like right now, I have lightening bolts shooting across the letters I'm typing and I can only 'guess' that I am hitting the right letters.  

So with that - I'm going to get off here.... I can't see what I'm typing and I'm distracted by it.  It will go away in about 10-20 minutes and life will be grand.  Have a board meeting today... my 'old' one.  Not sure if I NEED to attend, but will to make sure the new person knows what to do.  I like listening in and hearing whats going on anyway.

Ok - I'm off here - can't se anyway.  Hope you have an amazing day.

Blessings!

Falling back to sleep...

 ah, it seems to be happening more and more, doesn't it?  Is it old age coming out?  I really didn't want to get up at 4AM but I was awake so may as well, right?  I get in here and do my praying, I read several chapters in my bible, and I even finish up a chapter in another book.  I thought I would just sit back and close my eyes and think about things.  Wrong thing to do. Again.  Yeah, that's my excuse every time, right? I'm just 'thinking' about things.  And next thing I know - it is 30 minutes later, I'm still sleepy and I still want to sleep.  But, I get up and here I am - running behind schedule - as I seem to do quite a bit lately.

Allt hat rambling just to say I only have a few minutes to write.

Not that I have much to say this morning.  I worked out last night.  My next workout is Thursday and it's HIIT.  Can't wait for that one.  It is really tough, but I love every minute of it.  Constant movement and working the entire body. Definitely high intensity.  And at 75 I can still complete the exercises - and they aren't 'made for my age' either!  Trust me on that one!

Work was bus again yesterday - and am hoping that today things calm down.  There is a board meeting tomorrow and I will attend, but it is the one that I am having to 'give up' to another admin.  She and I talked yesterday and she is trying tell share her screen on how they do the board meeting they are forcing on me - and I don't like the way it is set up.  Once we get past the June 5th board meeting (at 6AM I might add!!) I am going to revamp the folders and make them like the folders I have in this one.  Too many things to move in and out of and I'm not having it - if they want me to (continue) to complain, they will leave it. Otherwise, unless they give me a good reason not to - I am moving those folders into one place and not in separate locations!  So there! Teach them to force me to take it on, right?

We have been fighting with gnats for a couple weeks now.  Don't know where they come from.  Last year we had them for a short time as well.  They are annoying, and they are everywhere!  I put out two of the gnat-catchers I bought last year - one is working, the other is not.  I bought another kind - and that instrument really has worked overtime!  And it's actually on the floor next to hubby's chair - and it filled up the sticky board in it!  I am so pleased with it that I bought another and it arrived yesterday.  I put it between us last evening in the front room and it caught several. I moved it to the kitchen for overnight where the other two are (one that didn't work - it caught one).  I haven't been out to the kitchen yet but will see how much it caught last night.  Surely these will eliminate them fairly quick!

8 days until Jailbreak and I can't wait!  I was sitting here this morning thinking how desperately I need to get out of this house and away from everything.  Getting with my 'girls' will be fun and we will enjoy doing things - and living life.  But it's only for 4 days and then this life hits again.  But at least I have a break.  I know hubby wants to go somewhere up north in August.... I will look around.  We don't do much cause he won't walk far.  But perhaps I can find us something where he will get out and walk a bit and we can get some fresh air.  I'd like to go back to Lakeside but that is a longer drive than we need to go.  Payson might not be bad, but there is nothing to do there either.  We liked that one airbnb we stayed at that time in Payson, but I don't want to spend that kind of money.  I'd stay at a hotel and eat out for every meal - lol - after all, if we get another airbnb I am the one still having to grocery shop and cook, right?  I think hubby would survive on peanut butter sandwiches and celery if I didn't cook.  Seriously, he will go nearly all day with out eating much of anything if I don't cook. I take that back.  Last week he went by himself to a restaurant for breakfast.  While I sat here at home and worked.  Priorities.

Well, I'm sorry, but I gotta get off and get on the work computer.  My bad. I shouldn't have fallen back to sleep..  I haven't even gotten to emails today - oh well, they will be there tomorrow.

Hope you have an amazing day!

Blessings!

A lazy weekend

 Another weekend has come and gone and I really didn't get much accomplished.  Again.  I wanted to go to the rec center and work out - and did not.  I should have visited Ms. Diane, and did not.  I rationalized it as the weekends are my time to rest and do things... I will (hopefully) go over tonight to visit.  As for the pool with Ms. Vicky on Saturday - I didn't go.  I may have already shared that.  Unless I know people, I'm really pretty much an introvert (I know, hard to believe, right?).  Ms. Vicky's friend was going with her so I opted for next week when her friend would be busy.  And I will go.  It would help to learn where the pool is; maybe hubby and I can go and actually use what we pay boo-koo amount for every year.

Yesterday we went to church and Pastor John did a great job on the message.  He was finishing up a series on mental health.  No, it didn't help me understand the craziness of some family members, but it did confirm and clarify some things.  And I'll leave that there.  I saw Pastor Lindsay and she came over and gave me a hug - and we discussed meeting up for lunch rather than trying to meet for dinner.  We actually scheduled a day and time and location - and I confirmed us last night.  Haven't heard back from her yet as I waited until evening to respond. Had to confirm with our home calendar as well as the work calendar as it is on a Wednesday.  We just want to get to know them better, how the church was started, where did the church name come from, etc.  

After church we stopped for lunch and I over-ate.  Big time. And ate things I 'shouldn't have'.  Normal people would not even think it abnormal... but with Virta... sigh.  It was an 'all meat omelet' PLUS fried country potatoes (and they were fried perfectly and I ate every single one of them!), and TWO slices of sourdough toast.  With butter. And jelly.  And I had TWO diet cokes!  And I ate all but about two bites of the toast and of the omelet - only because my stomach was screaming there was no room left.  It was so good, and really hit the spot.  We came home, changed clothes, and started reading.  I took a short nap (reading after a full meal always does that to me!) and back to reading.  After awhile (of course visiting the neighbors came to me but talked myself out of it), I fixed hubby a hamburger and myself a hot dog for 'dinner' along with fresh veggies.  Back to reading, paused to watch a movie, read some more, did our evening devotions and then to bed.  Such an exciting day, was it not?  The best part, other than church, was my lunch.  I haven't eaten like that in a few months.

And today. Here I am back to Monday and work.  My mood and attitude flip flop so much about work.  I don't mind working, I really don't.  The money is great for what I do.  But, I think it is being sequestered back in this room.  I would rather drive to the office and be with people.  But I don't want to drive downtown to the corporate office there, although it is closer.  And my former corporate office is too far to drive on even a weekly basis.  I use nearly a quarter tank of gas every time I drive there and back.  I just miss being with people.

I think hubby has a problem with people who talk a lot.  LOL  You know how he gets after me for 'monopolizing' the conversation whenever we are with another couple.  He feels he doesn't get to talk.  (but he does, he just doesn't get enough time, I guess)  Yesterday, at church, he pointed out one guy who was sitting at the table where he was Tuesday night at the bible study and said this guy wouldn't shut up but kept monopolizing the conversation.  I laughed inwardly.  He then commented that if I'm with a group of people - sometimes even with family - I will remain fairly quiet and not say much (that's because with family I want to hear what they have to say!).  But when I'm with a couple or a very small group of people, I talk a lot.  I just told him that if the topic is something I know something about - but especially if they mention a book I have read and I really enjoyed it - I can't stop myself from sharing! I guess I need to be more careful about my 'sharing' with others.  But don't mention a book I really enjoy cause I won't be able to stop sharing about my opinion on it!  LOL  Most times he hasn't read it, or even if he has, he chimes in with the same things I just said. And that's ok. I just need to let him speak more than I do. (yeah, right).

I'm reading two books right now by the same author and I am enjoying both of them.  One is The Power of Persistence and the other is The Power of Desperation. Both books are by Michael Catt and are very good, if you like those kinds of books - as I do.  I finished reading The Power of Surrender recently and want to read it again.  Yeah, I like books that make me think about my life and what I need to do to make it better.  Of course the Bible does that as well, but I can read these books in less time, if you know what I mean.  

James 3:17-18 (NKJV):  But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, considerate, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness.

I feel I try to be a peacemaker most of the time, but sometimes I 'just have to' retort with my own comments and get things stirred up again.  Do you do that?  No, I haven't done it lately. At least I don't think I have.  Well, perhaps with hubby. No, I don't bring things up of what was... our main disagreements anymore is not giving him the opportunity to speak (i.e., me monopolizing the conversation) and not making him feel valued (doing things that he COULD do but doesn't so I do them - like taking over the watering of my plants).  We still fight over the checkbook.  He has to have control. Which is why I have my own account.  A whole nother story there I won't go in to.

But I do try to keep peace with hubby - whether he is right or wrong.  Sometimes it isn't worth the issues that come out and the reactions that happen when we know we are right, and yet, have to let them have their way.  I try to keep peace with family, often keeping my mouth shut when I want to say some very pointed things to people.  Hubby knows when I get quiet at family things there is something going on in my mind I want to speak (not always, but sometimes), and I'm trying to behave myself and let it go.  Depends on which group I'm with.

So how do you keep peace in your family?  Is there a secret that you have that helps?  Please share!  Between my siblings and between my children - well, I THINK I'm good... but those people are responsible for their own words and actions, right?  I can't monitor or mother any of them.  They are over 21. I may disagree with actions, with words, but unless they ask my opinion, I may as well keep my mouth shut.  (erase)  Yeah, telling on a sibling so keeping my mouth shut. :-)

Gotta go - things to do before work starts.  Hope you have an amazing day!  It's going to be a good day - a good week!

Blessings!

What I wanted / didn't - sorta

 I wanted to get over to Lowes yesterday and pick up more flowers.  I did not.  I was to go to the pool at the rec center with Ms. Vicky - but I did not.  (In my defense, I was going to go, but she said another friend was going with us... so I bowed out.  I told her that I would go with her next Saturday and even put it on the calendar.  I - believe it or not - am somewhat of an introvert when I don't know what I'm doing and around people I don't know.  Yes, I know Ms. Vicky, but I don't know her friend.  Haven't used the pool at the rec center either.  Just didn't feel like learning/meeting new yesterday.

So what did I do?  I cleaned out the refrigerator and scrubbed it down.  Got rid of some expired items in there.  We went to the grocery store (yes, hubby went with me).  I fixed dinner when we got home.  Couldn't believe the rotisserie chicken I bought at Frys was not cooked all the way through. Usually the meat falls off the bone; not this time, it was still pink.  I did pull some off (that was cooked) for us to have chicken tacos last night, but I will put it back in the oven today after church to finish cooking it.  And, after dinner, I made some cranberry/strawberry jam.

It was a nice day - nothing pressing, and I actually got some things done, which always makes me feel good. Worked on a blanket as we watched a couple movies last night.  I think I would have rather read, but 'it is what it is' - right?

I remembered about 9:30PM last night about my son's invitation to come hear him sing at the Post.  But, we were already in bed.  I need to write myself a note ... may not be this next weekend either, but we may surprise him some time.  I always have loved to hear him sing.  

Today is Sunday and we will start getting ready for church soon.  Yes, we are now physically going to church.  We like this church and the people are very friendly and make us feel welcome.  Hubby has plugged into the men's bible study to get to know others, but I haven't plugged in anywhere as of yet.  I will in perhaps a few months, but I'm just not in any hurry.  Perhaps it tis the fear of rejection as I felt at the last church, but I don't believe that would happen here.  I just want to get to know people before I plug in.  If I wasn't working I could be involved in the day monthly things some women do, but I do work so I cannot.  And that's ok.  When it's time, and the desire is there, I will make that decision.

Don't have much on the agenda for today other than church.  Maybe I'll make that trip to Lowes to get more flowers.  I'm not really much of a shopper - in spite of going 'shopping', but can choose a few things.  I usually just tell myself to save money - quit spending it.  There is nothing we need.

I would love to go sit out on the courtyard this morning and have another cup of coffee.  Enticing, but I will get more out of going to church.  Yes, we have a choice - 9AM, 10:30AM, or 12PM.  But, we like going to the early service and then it feels like we have the rest of the day.  Actually, the 10:30AM would probably be best, and that would give us extra time for the 2nd cup of coffee and sitting in the courtyard, but.. well, if we go at 9AM, we are out a little after 10AM and can go to brunch. :-)  You know how 'we' love to eat.

I've started two books by the same author.  Maybe I will share from one of them tomorrow - I need to get off here and start getting ready for church.  But I will leave you with this thought....

"When was the last time you were desperate for God to intervene in your life, in your circumstances, and to help you?"

I don't think anyone really wants to be 'desperate' for anyone or anything... but God is our refuge and our strength, and if I am to be desperate for anyone or anything, I pray that it be HIM.

Blessings!

I wasn't expecting it -

 I knew my son had written a very short post this week so did not expect to read anything today.  But, as I always do, I go to his site first to see if he has - and he wrote a long one!  Enjoyed reading it, and even left a comment for him.

I'm loving this Saturday morning.  I slept in until about 5AM again - and it was good.  Hubby slept until nearly 6AM and I did not wake him up, but allowed him to wake up on his own.  I've done a lot of reading in here this morning, wrote out my prayers, and actually..... I forgot to write in here!  I'm sitting there getting started on The Power of Desperation by Michael Catt and it dawned on me I hadn't jumped on to this computer yet.  So I finished the section I was reading and decided to get on here - cause I know that you would miss me, right?  And all my ramblings?

I guess the memory kicks in when one starts on their second cup of coffee, right?  I'm actually thinking about going outside to sit on our new patio furniture and enjoy the coolness of the morning.  The sun hasn't hit the patio yet so don't need the umbrella.  Yet.  It does make it 'cooler' of sorts when the umbrella is up, so I discovered the other day.  

My flowers are beautiful in the courtyard.  I want to get over to Lowes this afternoon and pick up more plants for the pots in the back and perhaps on the side.  Maybe next week my SIL will fix up the sprinkler system and although I still plan to water some, because the system only comes on a couple times a week, I think - and obviously doesn't do enough, based on how the grass looks.  I want to get the plants in before he does it so that he doesn't have to come back to add to it.  I don't mind watering the plants, it gives me 'ownership', if you know what I mean.  I may not have a part of this house, but maybe I can 'own' the flowers?  

Ms. Vicky wants me to go with her today down to the rec pool.  I have put her off for two years - I will probably go today - it will be good for me, and if I start going to the rec center (after all, we pay $$ for it - it's mandatory - but we don't use it), maybe I will start going there to exercise as well.  Or maybe hubby and I can go down in the evening when I know where the pool is, etc.  My 'friend' cattycorner from us text'd me last night.  Her hubby keeps her away from all the neighbors and she is a talkative one!  A bit odd, but she loves Jesus.  She sends me a text every few months to check on us.  Or to let me know they are going to be gone. Then she deletes the messages so that her husband doesn't know she contacted me. And I thought I had it bad!  But he has mental issues from years ago - he was in the Navy and on a ship when a pole broke and fell and hit him on the head.  It happened many years ago and it bashed his head and face in and he still goes twice a year to a specialist in Las Vegas and either Texas or California for different parts of his face to be worked on.  But it did cause some mental issues.  And although we tried to be friends with them when they moved in, with fights with the HOA, hubby was a target and well, after he visited hubby with a lot of words one day, that was the end of that.

But with that being said, my friend said that they used to go to the rec center to swim or sit in the jacuzzi in the evening and very few people were there.  I like very few people, so maybe I will ask hubby for us to go in the evening sometime.  It would be good for us to get out of the house.  I can skip a 'movie night' - but will miss the time we have to read.  I'm also wanting to work out besides time with Morgan.  No need to drive all the way to the gym, the rec center has a workout area and in the evening it shouldn't be too bad.  I know the parking lot is full in the mornings.  In fact, when we toured one facility, they said that people lined up at 6AM when they opened to get in the pool!  Uh, not me.  6AM I'm settled here in my room, usually praying or reading. And then there is work.

We got information on VSI - Voluntary Separation I (I forget what the I is for - initiative?) information was sent to me yesterday.  Based on their information given, if I chose to resign, July 11 would be my last day of work.  If I chose to resign, my benefits would stop on July 11th. If I chose to resign, I would receive 9 more weeks of pay (based on the 7 years I have with this company), and if I chose to resign, I would be out of work and out of pay after 9 weeks.  Tempting, right?  I want to retire. We can afford it (if we tighten our belts) and survive.  But, I think I am going to turn it down.  My boss is too.  Her 'retire date' she has chosen is August 1, 2026.  She plans to supplement their income as a school nurse once she retires.  I don't have that option as I'm not a 'professional' anything.  I've worked my way up the ranks, thanks to my boss, for sure.  I would 'need' to find a part time (at least) job to give me spending money and to get me out of the house.  But I have a good job, I make good money, it's in the bank every two weeks, I work from home, the boss I report to I dearly love, the others - meh - but God helps me in the tough times.  So why quit - at least for now.  I really don't have a 'reason'... we couldn't travel or do anything; I would be sitting at home cause I honestly don't know what hubby would 'allow' me to do.  Is it worth the fight?  Naw, not now.  When it's time, God will let me know.  I've always told my boss that when I start failing in my job, it's ok to let me go.  (But just think of all the reading time I'd have, and I have lots of books!)  I'd have to give up working out for that would be a luxury, for sure.

And now I'm back to rambling again.  I know I share way too much on here, but it does make interesting reading, does it not?  Storms went through Indiana yesterday - tornados in Bloomington and Linton, IN.  Sissy just sent me a text they have been out of power.  I guess I should check on everyone; hadn't heard it hit the Indianapolis area.  So with that - I'm off here.  Sorry to bore you - again. :-)

Have an amazing day - be kind - and do something nice for someone you love.  Or don't love.  Just be nice, ok?

Blessings!

It must have caught up with me

 as I slept in until 5AM!  Interestingly, I had to wake hubby at 5:30AM because he was still sound asleep! He has his bible study this morning and he leaves around 6:30AM so knew he needed at least an hour.  And, gasp!  I got my own coffee this morning because he was 'late' getting up!  I actually remembered how to push the button on the machine.  Imagine that!

My SIL and daughter came over yesterday and planted all my flowers and the two rose trees.  They plan to come back today but I forget why.  I think everything got planted yesterday.  It was really nice to go out and pull off the covers on the furniture and sit for awhile.  I took out the 'zapper' that I bought last year and we never used and plugged it in - and that darn thing kept going 'zap! zap! zap!' - yeah the mosquitos must have been out in full force last night.  If I recall, there are things you can sprinkle around the courtyard that will help eliminate the mosquitos - I'm going to have to read it again.  I think one of them is coffee grounds.  Going to check that out this morning.  Who likes to sit outside ang get eaten?  I still have several bites on my body from the other day - and I don't even know when I got them!  I'm just assuming they are mosquito bites.

Which reminds me, I got a call from the dermatologist office to give me the results of the biopsy.  I will admit I was a bit put off.  I want to know why I still have pain in this area.  I want to know why the bumps had not disappeared.  The result that came back?  "Post Inflammatory pigment alteration".  What does that mean?  The 4" area under the skin that is a darker shake is inflammation from the bug bites and it's still healing.  What?  I don't care what the gray area is - I want to know why it still hurts!  Most of the bugs are gone now, but where he took the biopsy is really weird compared to the biopsies I have had before.  They healed flat and just have a line where they scrapped the skin. This one still has a circle about it and it is raised and the 'cut', which was what - two weeks ago? - is like a sore.  The office asked if I wanted to make another appointment when I told them that wasn't what the biopsy was to be about.  I told her no - why make an appointment if he doesn't know what it is, and obviously the pathology doesn't have an answer either.  Not going.  I'm irritated.  Research and find the answer!!  No, I didn't tell them that.  I just declined the appointment.  Then yesterday afternoon I got a recorded call that it was time for a follow-up appointment.  I declined it as well.

UGH - Time has gotten away from me this morning and it is already 7AM and I have so much work to get done.  Oh - want to hear something funny?

I was chatting with the admin in Colorado - I am being forced to switch with her board meetings, remember?  I don't want to change, but my male boss is forcing me to.  I mentioned to her yesterday that he will be the reason I retire, and the more he pushes on me, the more I want to retire!  We laughed about it and went on.

Then yesterday afternoon everyone got an email from HR with information about VSI.  Voluntary Separation.... I forget what the 'I' stands for.  More information will be forthcoming, but they were letting us know, as they did a few years ago, that due to financial losses they are offering an opportunity to retire.  A lot is based on how many years you have been with the company on what you will get from it.  

When I took 'early retirement' back in 2011, I was just short of 26 years at that company.  I received one year's pay - a check was deposited in the bank every two weeks same as it always had been.  Only difference was that I was home.  I often said that the year I had 'off' was my only year of retirement. Little did I know the truth of that comment.  But I did take that year off.  We couldn't do anything even though I was off because we were still broke.  But I didn't have gas and I didn't have wear and tear on the car.  That was about it.  The bills never changed and the upkeep of the house took a lot too.

So here I am now with the possibility of getting to take 'early retirement'.  At 75 it really isn't early retirement, is it?  I know I've shared my thoughts on this before.  Yes, I would like to NOT work and deal with that stress.  My favorite boss doesn't want to retire until August 1, 2026.  She has it figured out with their finances on when it would be best.  They just remodeled their entire home and upgraded their pool to a heated pool, etc. so they want to pay all that off before she retires.  I get that.  

I have managed to save a little money, but it isn't a whole lot.  I don't want to be locked into staying here, but hubby refuses to move.  If I am still working, finding another place and getting approved for a loan would be much easier than selling this place and taking the profit to put down on the new house.  Yes, I'm just 'thought-rambling', but I would like a leave of absence to where I can do nothing for awhile - but I'd get bored as well.  I don't have any place I want to go with hubby.... he doesn't like to walk far so any hiking or long walks are out of the equation.  We never have been big travelers as we never had any money to do so.  We are better off than some, don't get me wrong.  But because of choices we made in the first 20 years of our marriage.... and I say 'we' because I let things get by me... retirement probably isn't going to happen.  At least not now.

I pray every day that God will give me wisdom to complete the tasks I'm assigned.  I also have to ask Him to help me keep my comments to myself and quit complaining.  I know I shouldn't, but at 75, haven't I earned the right to have my opinion heard?

Ok - got to get off here - have an amazing day!

Blessings!