Sometimes we just need to be quiet

 We've all heard the saying 'everyone has an opinion.....' right?  Right or wrong, we all form our own opinions about issues, about things, about good stuff, and about bad stuff.  We form our own opinions about people, about locations, about even vehicles.  Sometimes our opinions are ridiculous, right? And most times, who cares what your opinion is?  Unless asked, of course.  But even then, what is being asked is really for your opinion to match theirs so that they can be right.  Is that correct?  

I voice my opinions way too often, as does hubby.  And usually without being asked.  And most times, I need to be put a muzzle on my mouth to keep it shut and not have an opinion spoken.  Right?  I think we all do it.  We say what's on our mind.  Some people just complicate things with 'it's my opinion and I'm allowed to say what I think!'  Most people think that just because they are 'young', their opinion deserves to be heard as well.... and... most people who are 'older' (me included) feel that our opinion on things should be considered as well.

Where does all that come from?  I have no idea.  No one has asked for my opinion recently that I am aware of.... nor of hubby.... so I'm not pointing fingers.  I'm just trying to think of something to write about that will cause you to pause for a moment and reflect on how your present your own opinions on things.

And many times we find that our opinions are based on our thinking process.  Or what we are worried about. Or what is going on in our finances.  Or what is going on in relationships. Or what is going on... wherever.  Whatever.  We all form our own opinions - right or wrong - and unfortunately, most would defend those opinions to the death.

Today is Tuesday and I'm back to work today.  I had hoped to have lunch with my oldest son yesterday at one of his favorite places near us, but he wasn't available.  And that is ok.  I know hubby has asked me if he called him and asked to go to breakfast or lunch - would he?  And I was thinking that if we went together, it would somehow buffer that time and he would be happy.  Hubby, that is.  He longs for a relationship with the boys, but everyone has their own life responsibilities and likes and dislikes - and well, we aren't always much fun because we don't have a life.

I truly believe that hubby is really feeling his age right now.  I think it has slam-dunked him that he was unable to keep up with the 'young folks' this past weekend.  After all, we are continuously around older people out here - his friends and his Bible Study groups are all older men.  Well, the church group had a variety of ages, I think.  But, he wants so much to matter, and many times he feels isolated and lonely.  He has caught a cold from the weekend trip, I think.  Taking his olive leaf and black elderberry to help get through it.  Depression may be part of it as well.  He had another school friend pass away recently and it brings the reality of life as well.

Which makes me think about the story of 'The Dash'.  You know, your birth to your death.  What is in the 'dash' - did you live life?  Did you make a difference in someone's life?  Did you pour your life into success or into people?  And of course the question - 'when you are remembered, how would you be remembered once you are gone?'

Oh my - my thoughts ae really wandering this morning, aren't they!  

My plants are not the 'worse for wear' while being gone.  Some have died a bit more, but overall, they look about the same.  This one rose bush that was here when we moved in is about gone, I think.  Never did like it anyway.  I suppose if I fed it and watered it and talked to it, perhaps it would grow and turn green again and produce beautiful flowers.  Just like us - do you think?  If people 'watered' us, if people talked to us, if people would value us.... many times you - and I - and others - would begin to grow and blossom as well.

Sometimes we just need to have a heart and care about others more than ourselves.  Isn't that what Jesus told us?  Love others as you love yourself?   The way some people are treated makes one wonder if they really hate themselves, right?  

Let's do this right.  Let's start today.  Let's love like Jesus loves.  Let's overlook everyone's faults and opinions and love them anyway.  Let us be the one who gives someone value just by speaking to them. Sometimes, they just need a word.  Something to think about.

Blessings!

I did what I wanted to do....

 For me, yesterday was a good day.  I slept in a little.  I think. Maybe I should read what I wrote yesterday so I'd know.  Anyway, I wanted to go to Walmart first to pick up a few plants to replace the ones in the pots that have died, pick up the hose holder I wanted to get.  Hubby said he'd go with me. No problem.  Walmart's selection of plants was about nil.  Most were dying that were there, many needed water.  I found a couple that looked like they may survive so got them.  Went inside to get the hose holder I wanted.  And hubby had to say the words... "I knew you wouldn't just come in here for plants and the hose holder" as I looked for something else.  I ignored him and finished looking for pots for the back yard and we left.  

He suggested we stop at One Stop Nutrition for protein shakes for breakfast - which we did.  That took care of breakfast.  Shortly after getting back home I started cooking. Which I love to do, as you know. Or suspect.  I made my 'garbage' and divided it up into containers to put in the freezer and for Ms. Diane and Ms. Vicky.  I made my homemade spaghetti sauce.  It stayed in the skilled and simmered and cooled while I visited both of our neighbors.  I took over garbage and frozen strawberry dessert to both.  Ms. Diane ate nearly all of the dessert.  Her daughter had brought her Famous Dave's bbq ribs so she had those for lunch.  After visiting with Ms. Diane, I headed over to Ms. Vicky's with the same thing, only I remembered to grab a bag of strawberries as well.  We visited for about an hour and I came back home to put the spaghetti sauce in containers and in the freezer as well as clean up my messy kitchen.  

Dinner was easy.  I had brought home some wings from the graduation party so heated those up and added garbage to the plate - and that was dinner.  And with eating poorly over the weekend - too much pasta and carbs, for sure, I've gained two pounds. Need to get refocused on cutting the pounds OUT, not adding them IN.  Sigh. It sue is a tough process.  Of course the 4 little cookies I ate before bed didn't help any, I'm sure.  Just carbs, right?  At least I finished the package. I hate having a package of cookies with only one or two left in it.  Might as well get rid of them, right?  I know I'm going to eat them; it's just a matter of 'when'.  Might as well put that to rest, right?

Back to work today.  I work today and tomorrow and then I get to head out - finally - for our Jailbreak Getaway.  Heading to Flagstaff where it is cooler, for sure.  I'm looking forward to doing some fun things (I hope) and relaxing with my girls.  Looking forward to hanging out and getting to 'know' them better.  Other than my daughter, I really don't see anyone very often.  And it's been 2-3 weeks since I've seen her!  She's been gone the last week but I think the plan is they will fly back home tomorrow.  Hope so, since we are to head out on Thursday morning and she is driving!   Which reminds me, I need to get to the bank at some time soon.

Acts 20:24 (NKJV):  However, I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task that the Lord Jesus has given me - the task of testifying to the good news of God's grace.

I know I have shared before how grateful I am for God's grace, that He would take all the bad stuff I have done in my life, and forgive me, and wipe my slate clean.  He has taken all that ugly black stuff out of my life and replaced it with His love, His joy, His light.  I am so very grateful, for I was a real mess.  Most people don't know my past, and I choose to leave most of the details out when sharing. But know that all of it, even the things I refuse to share with others, God knows, and He forgives my part in it.  I am a sinner, saved by Grace.  Forgiven, not in part, but in whole.  Not just pieces of my past, but all of it.  Grateful to be loved like that.

And you are as well, when you sit yourself down and sincerely talk with God and tell Him what is on your heart.  Tell Him the things of your past you have allowed to burden you and crush you. Your pain, your sorrow, your grief of the past.  He takes all that 'stuff' we hold in, and soothes our troubled soul and cleanses us from all unrighteousness.  Hallelujah!  Thank You Jesus!

Wow - looks at her go!  I have my window shade open and there is this woman quickly walking for her daily walk - she is fast!  I bet she could walk this block in less than a minute!  She is hustling!  That COULD be me, you know.  I COULD not write in here and instead take that 30 minutes that I pause to think of things to write about and try to write about, to get a walk in. But no, I'd rather sit here in my jammies and mentally walk.  Whoa!  There's another one!  The cool mornings have brought a lot of women out.  And then - LOL - there is this guy in a cowboy hat and like a sleeveless high neck shirt carrying his coffee cup and walking his little bitty tiny dog.  LOL  Sorry, it's a funny picture, if you think about it.  Big guy, big coffee cup, big cowboy hat... walking this little 6" dog on a leash.  

And with that - I need to get off here and kick on the work computer.  I know I have a pre-board meeting this morning at 8AM - first one I have to attend for the new board I was given.  Yes, I need to change my attitude on that.  They aren't going to give me back the other.  I told them I'd do both, but no, they would rather force me to do the one I don't want.  UGH.  It's a 6AM board meeting a week from Thursday.  At least it is every other month - but I'm pushing for them to make it once a quarter - and my male boss is in agreement with me.  By the end of the year, we just might get it!

Hope that you had a good weekend and are looking forward to a great week.

Blessings!

Actions speak louder than words....

 Just saying.  I'm pretty sure I have commented about this in previous posts, how the bushes were removed from the back next to the house to conserve water for the HOA, and we bought 7 plants and it took hubby nearly two weeks to get them all planted.  Obviously we misunderstood, and our fault, didn't clarify the 'rule' that was decided on - even with hubby being on the HOA.  We have a neighbor behind us whom hubby has tried to befriend a couple times and it seemed things were going ok.  Well, seems like this neighbor took pictures of our plants in the pots behind our house.  We had hoped they would be ok in the pots, but the wind kept blowing them over.  So - that was when it was decided to just put them in the ground.  This is where it has turned hurtful.  The neighbor behind us took photos of hubby putting the plants in the ground, and the plants being in the ground - and sent the photos and a letter to the property management stating we weren't to put plants in the ground in the back, even next to the foundation.  He had removed his own bushes right after we moved in and had put new bushes in pots next to his house.  Ok - no biggie.  We thought he did that on his own.  Long story short, he made a comment 'I guess it is ok if you are a board member'.   Which hubby is.  sigh.  Not once did this neighbor come over and ask what we were doing and give his understanding of the 'rule'.  We misunderstood it, basically.  What does it hurt to have 7 potted plants put in the ground and we water them?  The sprinkler system for that area is turned off; we don't use it.  Hubby was rightfully upset about it last night and has apologized to the president who had forwarded the information to him.   15 bushes with the sprinkler system on; 7 potted plants and we take care of the watering.... big difference in water usage.  Anyway, after Bible study this morning, hubby will be going out back and pulling up the plants.  It looks like only a few have survived the 'transplant' anyway, and we still have the pots they were in so will take them to the courtyard in front where we are responsible for the plants.  We were back there too - but they have to be in pots.  

I feel hurt - as hubby does - that the neighbor could not have come to hubby as he planted them, and questioned the rule.... instead of going straight to the property management AND sending photos of hubby and the plants.  How rude is that?  But, hubby and I had a long chat about it last night and I told him that his Christian witness was at stake.  He could be rude to the man when he comes out, or he could be kind.  The man will (hopefully) be ashamed of himself for going behind our backs, but if not, God will deal with him, not us.  We will apologize for placing the plants in the ground; it was just a misunderstanding on our part.  We may - or may not - look for larger heavier pots - and put a few plants out.... but I've lost interest in it now.

I must admit it is disheartening.  This is another reason why I miss having my own yard and not sharing a 'community yard' behind our home.  It's truly a waste of space.... a huge area and it's never used.  Landscapers come mow it every Thrusday morning.   Oh - this neighbor was also one who complained because about 4 trees have been cut down in this huge community yard to also conserve water.  One tree  was between us and kept us from seeing inside each other's house at night - we shut our blinds - no biggie - but he is furious.  Like we have nothing to do but look inside his house. Personally I think the HOA isn't researching enough, but I'm not involved and refuse to be.  Hubby is, but I'm letting him do his thing.  I'm sure he is vocal enough on some things.  

But this is where we live now so must obey the rules of the 'land'.  It makes me sad, though, that neighbors have to be like that.  The neighbors on each side of us and across the street are very nice and friendly.  It hurts to have one behind us that doesn't want to be friends.  Rude old people.  (ok, I just had to put that in!)

I took my prized picture in to be framed yesterday.  A bit more expensive than I really wanted to pay, but I wanted it done right.  It should be ready in a couple weeks.  I was trying to decide between two frames and needed advise... hubby agreed with my choice.... but I wanted outside opinion.  I emailed my boss, no response.  I emailed a photo to my sister, no response.  I emailed my brother and he responded - he liked the one I did - and then started sending me photos of a super Nova that is on google.  AND the articles under it of what it is.  It really is interesting - and I had to laugh because one of the photos is very similiar to my picture!  My boss and sister finally responded and they also agreed with our choice of frame.  YAY.  I am not an interior decorator nor try to be.  I throw something up on the wall and it sticks - and you will find it there still twenty years later.  My kids can attest to that.  I rarely - if ever - change pictures or anything else on the wall.  But I do need to find a place for this picture.  I'm thinking of moving all the graduation photos to the back room.... I know the perfect place.... and put the picture on that wall.   As I think about it, I'm doing the same thing my mother did.  All her children's graduation photos were hung up on the wall.... and I've put not only my three children (mother had 11 photos up) but started adding the grandchildren.  See, I am becoming my mother, I'm afraid.....

I was awake quite a while last night, thinking about this situation with the neighbor, and I believe I'm right.  Show him kindness.  Even apologize for upsetting him with our misunderstanding of plants being in the ground versus remaining in pots.  It's not a big deal - other than it took hubby two weeks to get them planted.  And hubby will go out this morning and dig each one up and put back in the pot and take to the front of the house.   

The golden rule 'do unto others as you would want them to do unto you' applies here.  I told hubby that perhaps this man had been reprimanded before by the former board (I have heard they were really controlling when in office) and was now retaliating.  And as hubby read me the emails that had been sent from him to the property management (and forwarded to the HOA president then to us), the man made a comment about a previous HOA board.... and I looked at hubby and just said "he has been angered by an HOA before; and now he does want to get even'.  And how we respond to this is very important.  Our actions when we see the neighbors (I've never met them as they are frequently gone for days at a time) out, we need to say hello and wave.  We can be kind; we don't need to be best friends.  But they will know that we are Christians by the way we live; not by reaction.

Think about people in your life..... has how you responded to criticism or something that you didn't like about their behavior.... has it softened your heart in trying to understand the reasons why?  Or have you hardened your heart because it made you angry and you didn't understand why they did what they did?  I can honestly say I don't understand all the dynamics in my family.  A lot of hurt flies all around.  I own it... but I let it not interfere with my love for each one.  I don't always know the entire story.

Do our actions speak louder than our words do?   Yeah.  Sometimes even our children can see our raised eyebrow and know they are in trouble!  LOL  Even Sheeba knows!  If I get after her about something, I don't yell at her; I speak her name and just say what I need to say.  She stands and stares at me and knows she did something she shouldn't do.  (like eating my scissors the other day).  After I get after her, she always comes over and nudges my hand, as if she is saying 'but do you still love me?'.  And I give her head a rub.

Psalm 19:14 (NKJV)  "Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my strength and my Redeemer."

Be kind.

Blessings!