Just saying. I'm pretty sure I have commented about this in previous posts, how the bushes were removed from the back next to the house to conserve water for the HOA, and we bought 7 plants and it took hubby nearly two weeks to get them all planted. Obviously we misunderstood, and our fault, didn't clarify the 'rule' that was decided on - even with hubby being on the HOA. We have a neighbor behind us whom hubby has tried to befriend a couple times and it seemed things were going ok. Well, seems like this neighbor took pictures of our plants in the pots behind our house. We had hoped they would be ok in the pots, but the wind kept blowing them over. So - that was when it was decided to just put them in the ground. This is where it has turned hurtful. The neighbor behind us took photos of hubby putting the plants in the ground, and the plants being in the ground - and sent the photos and a letter to the property management stating we weren't to put plants in the ground in the back, even next to the foundation. He had removed his own bushes right after we moved in and had put new bushes in pots next to his house. Ok - no biggie. We thought he did that on his own. Long story short, he made a comment 'I guess it is ok if you are a board member'. Which hubby is. sigh. Not once did this neighbor come over and ask what we were doing and give his understanding of the 'rule'. We misunderstood it, basically. What does it hurt to have 7 potted plants put in the ground and we water them? The sprinkler system for that area is turned off; we don't use it. Hubby was rightfully upset about it last night and has apologized to the president who had forwarded the information to him. 15 bushes with the sprinkler system on; 7 potted plants and we take care of the watering.... big difference in water usage. Anyway, after Bible study this morning, hubby will be going out back and pulling up the plants. It looks like only a few have survived the 'transplant' anyway, and we still have the pots they were in so will take them to the courtyard in front where we are responsible for the plants. We were back there too - but they have to be in pots.
I feel hurt - as hubby does - that the neighbor could not have come to hubby as he planted them, and questioned the rule.... instead of going straight to the property management AND sending photos of hubby and the plants. How rude is that? But, hubby and I had a long chat about it last night and I told him that his Christian witness was at stake. He could be rude to the man when he comes out, or he could be kind. The man will (hopefully) be ashamed of himself for going behind our backs, but if not, God will deal with him, not us. We will apologize for placing the plants in the ground; it was just a misunderstanding on our part. We may - or may not - look for larger heavier pots - and put a few plants out.... but I've lost interest in it now.
I must admit it is disheartening. This is another reason why I miss having my own yard and not sharing a 'community yard' behind our home. It's truly a waste of space.... a huge area and it's never used. Landscapers come mow it every Thrusday morning. Oh - this neighbor was also one who complained because about 4 trees have been cut down in this huge community yard to also conserve water. One tree was between us and kept us from seeing inside each other's house at night - we shut our blinds - no biggie - but he is furious. Like we have nothing to do but look inside his house. Personally I think the HOA isn't researching enough, but I'm not involved and refuse to be. Hubby is, but I'm letting him do his thing. I'm sure he is vocal enough on some things.
But this is where we live now so must obey the rules of the 'land'. It makes me sad, though, that neighbors have to be like that. The neighbors on each side of us and across the street are very nice and friendly. It hurts to have one behind us that doesn't want to be friends. Rude old people. (ok, I just had to put that in!)
I took my prized picture in to be framed yesterday. A bit more expensive than I really wanted to pay, but I wanted it done right. It should be ready in a couple weeks. I was trying to decide between two frames and needed advise... hubby agreed with my choice.... but I wanted outside opinion. I emailed my boss, no response. I emailed a photo to my sister, no response. I emailed my brother and he responded - he liked the one I did - and then started sending me photos of a super Nova that is on google. AND the articles under it of what it is. It really is interesting - and I had to laugh because one of the photos is very similiar to my picture! My boss and sister finally responded and they also agreed with our choice of frame. YAY. I am not an interior decorator nor try to be. I throw something up on the wall and it sticks - and you will find it there still twenty years later. My kids can attest to that. I rarely - if ever - change pictures or anything else on the wall. But I do need to find a place for this picture. I'm thinking of moving all the graduation photos to the back room.... I know the perfect place.... and put the picture on that wall. As I think about it, I'm doing the same thing my mother did. All her children's graduation photos were hung up on the wall.... and I've put not only my three children (mother had 11 photos up) but started adding the grandchildren. See, I am becoming my mother, I'm afraid.....
I was awake quite a while last night, thinking about this situation with the neighbor, and I believe I'm right. Show him kindness. Even apologize for upsetting him with our misunderstanding of plants being in the ground versus remaining in pots. It's not a big deal - other than it took hubby two weeks to get them planted. And hubby will go out this morning and dig each one up and put back in the pot and take to the front of the house.
The golden rule 'do unto others as you would want them to do unto you' applies here. I told hubby that perhaps this man had been reprimanded before by the former board (I have heard they were really controlling when in office) and was now retaliating. And as hubby read me the emails that had been sent from him to the property management (and forwarded to the HOA president then to us), the man made a comment about a previous HOA board.... and I looked at hubby and just said "he has been angered by an HOA before; and now he does want to get even'. And how we respond to this is very important. Our actions when we see the neighbors (I've never met them as they are frequently gone for days at a time) out, we need to say hello and wave. We can be kind; we don't need to be best friends. But they will know that we are Christians by the way we live; not by reaction.
Think about people in your life..... has how you responded to criticism or something that you didn't like about their behavior.... has it softened your heart in trying to understand the reasons why? Or have you hardened your heart because it made you angry and you didn't understand why they did what they did? I can honestly say I don't understand all the dynamics in my family. A lot of hurt flies all around. I own it... but I let it not interfere with my love for each one. I don't always know the entire story.
Do our actions speak louder than our words do? Yeah. Sometimes even our children can see our raised eyebrow and know they are in trouble! LOL Even Sheeba knows! If I get after her about something, I don't yell at her; I speak her name and just say what I need to say. She stands and stares at me and knows she did something she shouldn't do. (like eating my scissors the other day). After I get after her, she always comes over and nudges my hand, as if she is saying 'but do you still love me?'. And I give her head a rub.
Psalm 19:14 (NKJV) "Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my strength and my Redeemer."
Be kind.
Blessings!
