Chaos in the family.... and other things....

It seems like some days the chaos in my family is overwhelming and crazy. I'm actually doing ok. Either that, or it hasn't soaked in, the things that have been happening.

I got word yesterday afternoon that my dearest adopted aunt, Aunt Sue, passed away. I didn't want my kids hearing it from others so got ahold of my daughter-in-law so that she could pass the news on to her family before they heard from others. I let my daughter and granddaughter know - they could pass it on. Still debating on passing the news on to the youngest son - of course he is in the right place to hear about it, so I may text him this morning. Aunt Sue is the last of the four sisters. I think there is one brother left back in Arkansas I think it is. Aunt Sue would have been 95 in July this year. One of my granddaughters immediately called me to see if I was ok, for they know how much I loved Aunt Sue.

The youngest son is in the VA hospital in Tucson getting much needed help for his alcohol addiction and then for PTSD. Now if 'life' would just leave him alone so that he can get better. I'm so glad he is there now for with what is going on, it would cause him to drink even more.

I received a hysterical call from his wife the other day that my granddaughter was 'cutting' herself. Then the conversation (on her side) turned to her emotions, etc. (like it was all about her) - and then I spoke with my granddaughter. I got her to promise she wouldn't do it again and I was going to pick her up this weekend so that we can have some time together. After talking with my son, she had done this real lightly about 3 weeks ago when he was home. He talked to her about it then. Then he was gone to the hospital. The granddaughter has been "alone" with the wicked stepmother. sigh. I understand that 3 nights ago now, she again cut on her wrists. Not real deep, but probably enough to get a trickle of blood - I really don't know. Anyway, that is what the daughter-in-law saw and went into hysterics about.

So the son suggested that his wife call the school and ask the counselor to talk with the granddaughter. Only the school doesn't have a counselor - they have a psychiatrist. Who asked the question: Do you ever feel like you don't want to be on this planet anymore? And of course the question was 'sometimes'. Even I could answer that question today that way! So they called in a crisis team who talked with her, then took her to a hospital nearby when they questioned her more. In the end, the granddaughter was released to her aunt's custody with the instructions she was not to be left alone with the wicked stepmother. Ok those are my words. The wicked stepmother part. She is the reason our granddaughter feels unwanted, humiliated, embarrassed. The stepmother puts her down and embarrasses her.

The daughter took her to get her clothes and the stepmother was very irate with her, demanding to know why the granddaughter couldn't be alone with her - that "I saved her life and you are being unfair. I need to know what she has said that she can't be with me alone. Those are your words, I want written proof." And so on. My daughter sent me a copy of some of the texts written after she left the house with my granddaughter. Even after my son told her 'it's not about you'.

I had to ask my son why he stayed with her when she causes such chaos in his family. She is always the victim and ridicules his children and puts them down all the time while building her son up. If anyone observed him, they would know he is going to have major obstacles as he grows up due to her parenting. My son responded, when the kids aren't around, they get along fine, and one day the kids will leave. The boys have already left; our granddaughter is only 14. To allow her 4 more years of this verbal and emotional abuse is unacceptable. Because of whom I'm married to, my hands are tied. I did tell him that if I was single - which I am not - if I was single, she would be able to come live with me. He just doesn't get it.

So after all this, the bottom line is, the granddaughter will be staying with my daughter until my son gets out of the hospital in about 4-5 months. Another granddaughter and son-in-law will make sure she gets to school every day. This granddaughter and I will split weekends having her stay at our places to give my daughter a break.

and you thought you had problems? But in all of this, it IS about my granddaughter feeling safe, loved, and wanted. And we will make sure she feels that way. It takes a village to raise a child.

Blessings!

First month - half over - already!

Is this a half full or half empty type of comment? The realization today that it is January 11th and come Tuesday we will nearly be at the 1/2 way mark for January - wow - it seems like it has gone by so fast - and I know it is only because I have been so busy. Funny, though, it isn't just me, one of my co-workers came by a bit ago and made the same comment! So what do you think?

New Years went well although not all showed up for the lunch - and that's ok. We had a good meal, then my daughter and I knitted for awhile before we went home. I think. I can't remember that far back - and yet, I'm sure that we knitted. We seem to do that a lot together anymore. I enjoy it. :)

It's 2:15 and yes, I'm at the office, and I need to be working on minutes, but I decided to take a few minutes break. I don't take a break often, and today I even skipped the lunch break so I guess by taking a few minutes to add to this is ok. I just happened to remember I hadn't written for awhile and my goal this year is try to do this at least every other week. I hope I remember! Maybe I should put that on my calendar!

Work has increased substantially. My one boss has ten-fold - seriously! - increased my work. I like being kept busy, so that's ok, but it has become overwhelming. I have so much to do that I'm taking my computer home this weekend and MAYBE will get on it Sunday and do a little work, just to sort things out that I need to do. I'd rather sit and knit, but that's the way it is.

Tomorrow the new Board that I am on is having a "dream day" - I'm not sure what all that involves - but I will be driving six of us to the meeting for the day. Got to get the car washed first thing in the morning and cleaned out - it's a mess! We were to take a spiritual gifts test prior to going and I completed mine this morning. My top three are not surprising. What is surprising is that they had shifted down to the middle a few years ago. But now, they are back at the top. And I like them being at the top. Of course this is a different test - and could probably get a little different result each time - but for this test, my top 3 are: (1) Faith (2) Intercession (3) Shepherd I have always had faith so am glad it has increased and jumped back on top again. I feel encouraged by what mine came out to be so I am anxious to see what we learn in our 'dream day' class tomorrow.

So stay tuned - I will have to share what I learn tomorrow!

Blessings!