Where did the weekend go?

 Shouldn't today just be Saturday?  And it's Tuesday already?  Where did my holiday weekend go?  It certainly did fly by!  I've shared much of what we did over the weekend.  Yesteday I didn't get done the things I had mentioend, and thought about.  Hubby and I sat out in the front courtyard for a short while while we had a cool breeze, then about 9AM I took a short walk - less than two miles - but I did walk.  It was nice being by myself and walking and talking and singing to God.  It's one of my favorite things to do.  

After preparing the deviled eggs and beans, we headed over to our new Bible study group.  We immediately felt welcomed by everyone and right at home.  All the food was delicious and we had a great time of listening and talking and finding out about others.  I hadn't planned on sharing much about myself, but when asked direct questions, one needs to answer.  It was all a good time and I learned things about each one.  There were 11 of us last night - 4 couples and 3 singles. After eating there was a discussion of what we would study.  We had been told Job, but I guess the couple who pushed on Job wont' be attending for awhile, so they said we didn't have to study Job.  I think it was decided we'd study Proverbs.  That should be interesting as that is one book I haven't studied in its entirety.

Today I am back to work - oh joy - and from jumping online for a brief time yesterday - see that I don't have much to do.  Gives me time to work on mandatory training everyone in the company has to have completed by July 11th.  My goal is to be totally done by June 30th.  I think I have about 6 trainings yet to do - ranging about 30 - 60 minutes each.  Trying to do at least one a day... but if I have the time and can get through it, may just keep going utnil I'm done.

Got started on week 5 of my Seeking Him book.  I took a few days off from it to get back in sync.  I really meant to do it yesterday and forgot about it as I was engrossed in reading my books.  This is the chapter that really spoke to me when I first went through the book (before the revised one).  It is on Grace.  I am often reminded how much grace God has already given me, and how much more grace that I need.  And He gives His grace freely, when we ask for it.

Romans 6:14 NKJV):  "For sin shall not have dominion over you, for you are not under law, but under grace."

Ephesians 2:8 (NKJV):  "For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God."

Hebrews 4:16 (NKJV):  "Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need."

There is so much of God's grace in the Bible.  Scripture after scripture will show you how grace is given - freely.  Sit back and think about all the grace that has been given you.  Perhaps in times of struggle you cried out to the Lord for clarificiation, for help - and He answered and gave you what you did not deserve - His grace.

None of us deserve His grace, me the least of them.  But when we seek Him first in our lives, He freely gives and supplies that grace that we need for that moment in time.  Hallelujah!   I am so grateful for the grace of God that helps me in all I do. His grace supplies my every need.  And His grace supplies yours as well.

Have you ever thanked God for His grace?  The times He kept you or a family member from serious harm?  The time when you needed to find something and couldn't and finally just asked 'God, please help me find it' - and your eyes were opened to where it was.  What about when you were overwhelmed and you didn't see a  way out - God's grace sustained you, whether you recognized it at the time or not.  And many times we don't - until we think about how things could have turned out differently - but didn't.  We didn't get what we deserved, but received the mercy and grace of a faithful God.

I could not live without God's grace in my life - nor would I want to.  There is nothing better than resting in my Savior and knowing I have received His grace for all things.

Sit back, close your eyes, and think about all that God has done for you and for your family.  That is grace.

Blessings!

Got some color - a little!

It was a good afternoon yesterday when we went to the cookout.  Lots of food, and then the swim.  I actually put my swimsuit on and got in the water!  The water was lukewarm and the wind when I came out froze me, but it was fun.  And, I got a little color.  Didn't stay out long enough to get burned.

Church yesterday was very good.  We didn't get to meet our group leaders - oops!  They messed up and were not scheduled for this Sunday to work the sound booth and they were not there.  They had come in at 7AM (we were told), and then left when they found it wasn't their week.  Don't know which service they went to, and as we went to the first service at 9AM, we left as soon as it was over.  I had things to finish up for the cookout.  The message was really good.  The title was something like:  "Hell, is that where you want to go?"  It was a powerful message on Revelations 20 and a few other versus.  Have you ever read the book  23 Hours in Hell?  I think I have it, or something close to it.  If you dare to read it, it certainly will cause you to think about where your soul will end up.  Where those you know who do not love Jesus and accept Him as Lord will be going.  And it will break your heart that they will be there.  Just as it will if you know that is where you will be.  You won't be sent to hell because you aren't perfect; you will choose to go there because you don't accept Jesus as Lord of your life.  We all still make mistakes; we still do stupid and sinful things.  I know I do.  But my goal is to be like Jesus, and to that end, I confess my sins daily and ask God to help me overcome those things that tie me to this world.  I want to walk WITH Jesus, not away from Him.  What about you?  Is Hell where YOU want to go?

I read in 2 Corinthians 8 today and it was a really good chapter on 'Grace Giving'.  It talks about tithing and giving to others.  The scripture itself didn't speak directly to me, but once I read the notes at the bottom of the page, it made much more sense.  I have given the Legacy Jentezen Franklin Bible to each of my children a couple years ago because of the messages he puts inside the books of the Bible.  Messages he has spoke before.  I thought that if they didn't go to church, perhaps they could at least read a message.  But I am loving my David Jeremiah Study Bible.  The notes below the chapters (which is not in the Legacy Bible and I am disappointed) make the scriptures much more clear.  I'd be willing to buy my children one of these, but I don't want to keep giving them Bibles that they don't want.  As I read through my own Bibles over the years, I have given some away to others who didn't have a Bible.  But lately I have thought that as I read through them, perhaps I could give one to each of my grandchildren as a reminder of me.  That I have read each page of God's Word and underlined the scriptures that meant something, or I wanted to remember.  That they would take and perhaps even read the Bible that I had read through.  Perhaps at the end of my lifetime I will have enough of the Bibles read through for each of them.  I pray they will receive them as a special gift of remembrance, and not as a 'why am I getting this?' thought.

Nothing much going on today other than I need to make deviled eggs and baked beans for the cookout tonight.  Will get to meet our new group leaders and the rest of the group since we didn't see them this morning - that we know of.  Maybe I can put this stack of books next to my chair (halfway up the bookcase side now!) on a bookcase somewhere.  I need to rearrange some things.  If only hubby doesn't start questioning what I want to do.  That always discourages me and I quit.  I need to just ignore him and do it.  I also want to get a walk in today - would prefer outside, and it is only 73 degrees right now, but by the time I get out of here and able to go walk, it will be a bit higher.  My big brother has sorta challenged me to start walking again, and I really want to.  I can do it on my treadmill and probably will do the majority of my walking on it, but I really want to walk outside where I can see the beauty of the green grass, and trees, and breathe fresh air.  Not far, mind you, but at least around a few blocks.  Don't want hubby to walk with me, I'm nervous, now that he's fallen and lost his balance.  I think he will stick with the treadmill for the doctor has scared him pretty bad that if he falls and hurts his head, with taking eliquis and a baby aspirin (vascular doctor's instruction on the baby aspirin, the pulmonologist on the eliquis) he could get a brain bleed.  He even asked we sit in the middle of the row at church yesterday so that he would have the chair back in front of us to hold on to when we stand.

Deuteronomy 4:39 (NKJV):  "Therefore know this day, and consider it in your heart, that the Lord Himself is God in heaven above and on the earth beneath; there is no other."

Hosea 10:12 (NKJV):  "Sow for yourselves righteousness; Reap in mercy; Break up your fallow ground.  For it is time to seek the Lord, till He comes and rains righteousness on you"

Going back to yesterday's message.... what are you doing about it?  Are you praying for your children and your children's children that they won't end up in hell?  I am.  Set the example to worship the Lord in spirit and in truth.  Receive the inheritance of the Lord in heaven.

Blessings!

Meeting new friends...

 We will be going to church this morning - first time since we made the commitment to make this church (for sure) our church home.  It's multi-cultural in the sense that it is full of blacks and whites, some more than others, depending on which service you go to.  We have a black senior pastor.  To us, as long as he is full of the Holy Spirit, that is all that matters, no matter what color one is.  There are good people and there are bad people, no matter what color they are.  We don't look at the color to qualify them.  We look at the heart.

Today, also, we will be meeting the couple who will be leading our small group.  As I mentioned previously, it sounds like (at least) our leaders ae on fire for Jesus and the Word, and that excites me.  I'm looking forward to meeting them.  We've probably seen them before as it was mentioned they work in the sound booth some Sundays and we usually sit to the right of the sound booth (which is at the back of the church) towards the back.  Yeah, couldn't get hubby to go up further, which is odd.  Every church we've attended over the years, he always insisted we sit up near the front - like the second or third row!  But at least we have decided on a church now, and where we sit is fine. 

Have a full day planned for today and then tomorrow evening.  Totally unlike our usual schedule of church and sit around the house.  No, I didn't get the bed cleaned off yesterday.  I did make a couple dishes to take today to the cookout, but other than that, just finished working on baby blanket and watched movies.  Going to bed around 10PM I had hopes again of sleeping a little later, but alas, 4AM the mind awakes, and no matter how I try to go back to sleep, it won't let me.  I don't know what some days I wake up and can't stay awake, and other days I can't go back to sleep.  I wanted to sleep this morning, but my mind sure wasn't letting me - and I wasn't even thinking of anything!  Ever have those times?  

I read an interesting paragraph in the book  "In Pursuit of His Glory" by Gerald Fry that I am reading.  I read this book many years ago and was drawn to it again to read.  Here is what it says:

"The church was not created for our needs.  It was created to be a redeemed, reconciled family of believers to fulfill God's purpose! But our Outer Court ministry is dependent on the Inner Court ministry, so God puts His priority in the Inner Court.  When we neglect this ministry we cannot hope to meet the challenges of life and enable people to access God's grace in their lives."

It may not make sense to some of you, but I totally get it.  So many times churches get so focused on doing things for people, taking care of the people's needs, they totally neglect the Inner Court of being with God.  The Inner Court is where we need to always be.  The Inner Court is where we get renewed and refreshed in the Spirit of the Living God.  It is where Jesus is our focus and all our worship and adoration is centered on Him.  In reality, being in the Inner Court should always be our heart goal.  To open ourselves up to worship and adore the One who loves us and wants us so very close to Him.

Remember in the Biblical times that the tabernacle had the inner court and the outer court?  People could not go past the outer court as the curtain was there.  Only priests were allowed in the inner court.  Jesus, when He died on the cross, ripped that curtain from top to bottom and opened the way that people such as you aned I, can come into the Inner Court with Him.  Such a precious gift and one not to be taken lightly.

When the Tabernacle was recreated and brought to a city nearby and I was able to go through it, an incident happened that has stuck with me.  There were several of us walking through the tabernacle, led by a priest in their priestly robes.  This woman started sobbing.  Not just tears flowing down her cheeks, but real sobbing.  When asked what was wrong, she responded, "I am a Jew, and as a woman, I would never have been allowed to see the Inner Court of the Lord.  Today, because of Jesus, I can come to the Inner Court and worship."  That comment really made an impact on me and has stayed with me.  There is such great joy in coming to the Inner Court of the Lord and worshipping Him.

You can create your own 'Inner Court' by pulling away from distraction and turn your attention to Jesus.  Spend some time with Him, tell Him what you are feeling, what your needs are, what you want from Him.  Tell Him of your confusion, your troubles, your weakness. Ask Him to make you strong.  Ask Him for His blessings of provision.  His blessings of healing.  Just close your eyes and turn your thoughts to Jesus, and rest in Him.  There is nothing like it.

I have always loved this song, and many times I have sung it with tears flowing down my face.  "Turn your eyes upon Jesus, look full in His wonderful face, and the things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace."  There is nothing like being in the Presence of Jesus, and looking full in His wonderful face.  I pray you find His Presence.

Blessings!

The weekend is here.....

 and I'm so glad to be able to not have to keep an eye on the clock, checking to see if it is time for me to get on the work computer.  Yesterday was a very long day as not much was happening at work.  Several people had taken the day off and other than a couple meetings to schedule, and chatting with my bosses a couple times, they were quiet.  In fact, one shut down at 2PM, and the other was finished with her meetings at 3PM.  We had pretty much cleared her calendar for the day cause she was babysitting a couple grandchildren for the day as well.  The advantage of working from home.  I did get a mandatory training out of the way, but other than that, didn't do much work wise.  Hubby did ask me to go pick up a prescription for him, which I did.  Still puzzled why he asked me to go get it instead of getting it himself.  He had gone to breakfast (for three hours!) with a friend... can't figure out why he asked me to go get it.  Did he want me out of the house for a reason?  I don't know!

I'm having difficulty this morning getting comfortable in my chair... my arthritis in my neck is bothering me too, but I'll get over it.  I need to do my stretching yet this morning and that will help with it.  Just feel antsy this morning for some reason.  Can't sit still and be comfortable.  Wonder what is going on that I feel this way.  Woke up at 4:30AM - on a Saturday.  Usually it's at least 5AM.  I love that I have a bit over an hour yet before hubby will come to 'check up' on me cause I haven't come out of my room.  I heard him shaving earlier... I am guessing he will offer to take me for breakfast.  He does love to eat, especially breakfast.  Me, I'm not so big on breakfast, although I can eat it.  I'll fix up my fried potatoes with the eggs and jalapenos and onions - and we have bacon - so why go out and pay someone to cook it, serve it, to us? I'm much more comfortable eating at home... and I don't have to deal with everyone else wanting to go out.  Now if we were meeting others, that's different.  I enjoy that.  But, just for us, it's just routine.

I did get some walking in this week, although not much.  I know hubby has gotten on the treadmill a couple times too.  It's just hard for me to 'work out' with him at home.  I don't need his questions - and I know it's just me - 'how long did you walk?  how far did you walk? how fast did you walk?'  Ok - maybe he won't ask how fast, but still.... you get the general idea.  I KNOW I need to walk.  I KNOW I need to exercise.  It's all on me.  I'll do it in my time, my way.  sigh.

Don't have much planned for today - I am hoping to straighten up this room.  I've got stuff on the bed again and I need to put it away.  My youngest granddaughter will be coming over to stay the weekend in a couple weeks.  I want to take her to Savers to buy baby clothes, and she can help herself to these blankets that I've already made.  That will get some of this 'stuff' out of here.  I ought to clean out drawers and even my closet.  I ought....

Romans 12:15 (NKJV):  "Rejoice with those who rejoice; and weep with those who weep."

Being Memorial weekend, that scripture could have lots of meanings.  True, Memorial Day was created for those who fought for our country and did not make it back home.  But it has come over the years to remembering everyone who has passed on.  I, too, think of those I love who has passed on.  And sometimes in my sorrow of my loss, I do weep.  I weep for my children and grandchildren who did not get to know their generations past.  I weep for myself, because I miss certain ones, more so than others.  I grieve in my heart that things didn't turn out differently, or so many things go through my mind this morning.  

Oh I can rejoice that my children did get to know their grandparents.  And feel sad that most of the grandchildren have no memories.  It is my - and my children's - responsibility to be sure their children know who their grandparents and great-grandparents were - not just by name.  I truly hope my children will share with their children things about their dad that his memory will be passed on down.  I hope they write down and keep their thoughts about him close enough that they can share freely.  I try to remember things and post on here, hoping they will know that overall, their dad was a good man.  Our choices were made because we were both naive.  Not because we didn't love each other, for we did, even to the end.  We were still just kids, and not having an example to follow, well... things happened. Oh how I wish it had ended differently.  But then, if it had, I wouldn't have the wonderful and adoreable grandchildren - and great grandchildren - that I do now.

Ah, my thoughts are going back in time so it's time to close this off.   Be sensitive to those who are sorrowful at their loss; and rejoice with those who choose joy.  It's easy to say, when it isn't us.  But I wish you joy throughout the hard times, that you will know Jesus is always near, and is always in control, no matter what our choices are.  He will bring good from even the bad choices.  He always has; He always will.

Blessings!

I'm looking forward to....

 a few things, actually.  First of all, I'm looking forward to this weekend!  It is a 3 day weekend with the Memorial Day 'holiday'.  One in which we remember those who died for our freedom.  Unless we have lost someone in battle, many people don't really think about the reason for the holiday.  In fact, I read a history comment yesterday on how the day was formed.  After the war between the North and the South - former slaves found a mass grave of Union soldiers killed in battle.  They reverently took the time to dig each one a grave and bury them properly.  Why?  It was the former slaves gratitude for the Union soldiers fighting for the slaves freedom.  People they did not know.  People of a different color.  But they fought that the slaves could be free.  Interesting tidbit of history.

Besides a day off work (Monday), I'm looking forward to Monday evening.  Why?  Remember my telling of us signing up for a small group, and the director contacted us on Tuesday?  I was very surprised when we got a call yesterday evening from the group leader with whom we had signed up!  Never has any group leader moved that fast to welcome someone in the group!  We chatted for a bit and he said that they meet every Monday evening and that they were meeting Memorial Day - not for a lesson, but for a potluck/cookout.  When we listened to the voicemail, hubby started his grumbling about doing it on Memorial Day.  Like, what was the problem?  We'd sit at home and watch a movie - so why not go and meet people who would be in the group?  I told him to hush cause he was irritating me.  Of course he had to retort a comment back at me... but by the grace of God I was able to keep my mouth shut.  I called the group leader back on speaker after we finished dinner and let him tell us both what was planned.  It really was cool, to me.  He was upbeat and talked a mile a minute, but was funny and friendly, and I liked him over the phone.  As he shared what each one of the group had done or was doing (work-wise) and that he sold or worked in produce ... I shared that hubby was retired and I was still working at home.  I about died when he asked hubby, "why are you retard (yep, he said it, meaning to be funny) and your wife is still working?"  To which hubby didn't know what to say and after a few awkward seconds commented "because I am old".  Wow.  Didn't expect that!   And then what thrilled my soul was that the leader wanted to pray for us before we hung up - and prayed a powerful prayer.  THIS is what my heart has been longing for!  A group that is Spirit-led and it isn't just on Sundays!  I want to learn and grow in spirit and in truth.... not just attend a class to learn about it.  Plus, they are starting the book of Job so we are coming in at the beginning of it.  I was very pleased about the call.  Hubby didn't act quite as excited.  Perhaps because the leader said he was also in charge of the men's group at church... and hubby thinks because he led the men's group at church years ago that he should do it his way.  Not my problem.  Sometimes we need to let go of the past so that we can embrace the future.

I heard a Rabbi make that statement one time and it has really stuck with me.  "God can not take you to your future if you keep holding on to your past."  I've said that statement to a few people since I've heard it as it really makes sense to me.  How many times do we hold on to something that happened in the past and allow that to control what we do in the future?  We can't receive the blessings of the future because we are so wrapped up in what happened in the past.  The loss of a loved one.  Doesn't mean we don't miss and love them.  But we are to continue to live.  The disagreement with another.  Doesn't mean we shouldn't disagree, but agree to disagree and walk away.  Don't let the things of the past control the blessings you can have in the future.  'Let it go'.

Hubby is having breakfast with a friend this morning and I am looking forward to the house by myself - although I am working.  I don't think I can explain so won't attempt it, but joy springeth up when I am alone.  Free to be me.  As the old saying goes, which I won't get right - Until you walk in my shoes, you can't understand what I feel.'

Psalm 30:5 (NKJV):  "For His anger is but for a moment, His favor is for life.  Weeping may endure for a night; but joy comes in the morning."

Praying that you will find your joy this morning and that it will be complete.

Blessings!

He got a good report.... sorta...

 Hubby went to the doctor yesterday to complete his wellness checkup.  Overall it was a good report.  Hubby said that as the doctor went through the tests and asked questions about his recent surgery and other doctor visits, things went fairly well.  One thing that didn't set well at all was that the pulmonary doctor did a phone 6 month check-up and that was a irritant to his doctor.  His reasoning - which makes sense - when you aren't face-to-face - but do a '6 month check-up over the phone - there is a greater chance (especially at hubby's age) to misinterpret what is said and not totally understand.  This office had called hubby yesterday afternoon again but he was driving so they said they'd call him back - we think it is about getting another cat scan on his lungs to check for the blood clots.  Overall, hubby is doing well after surgery.  He has been getting on the treadmill for a few minutes and the doctor told him that was great - to slowly work up to 25 minutes a day and not fast or try to accomplish any great exercise, but just to walk.  

There was one thing the doctor did get after him about and that was hubby had gotten confused on one of the medications he was told to quit taking by one of the other doctors.... and he had quit taking this really strong cholesterol medication (he takes 2-3 different cholesterol meds I think) and his cholesterol had jumped from 107 up to 157 in two weeks.  Not a good thing.  He was told to stop the other and get back on this one.  One thing I will say about his doctor, he is VERY thorough and makes sure that hubby understands clearly what he is to take and do and promotes keeping him healthy.  And I like that about him.  Most doctors may talk to you while you are there, but doesn't tell you specifically things but just general.  And yes, they did discuss hubby falling and the weakness and that is why for now the treadmill is preferred for him to walk.  Doctor feels most of it is from the surgery and the uneven sidewalk where his balance was thrown off.   One thing that is concerning that we found out..... an enlarged prostrate (which happens to older men) causes blood clots - and most men over 50 can have them and not know it.  It's not cancer causing the enlarged prostrate, it's age (at least in this case) and that is what they need to watch.  We both found that information interesting, as hubby has had prostrate cancer and his numbers jumped a small amount a few months ago.  He goes back soon for another test to see what the count is.  So all in all, a good report.   He is to go back in three months to have his cholesterol checked again.  Then this doctor wants to eliminate one or two of the other cholesterol meds if this one gets it way down like it was.  Eliminate pills?  Absolutely!

I am so ready for this weekend and not working.  Not sure why I am so tired this week.  And it doesn't help I'm not sleeping well either.  I struggled to stay up til 8PM last night - and then I think I woke up every hour.  Don't know why; not worried about anything; my mind isn't focused on anything.  So this morning I am again dragging.  But, I will get over it.  Need to just set my mind not on my tiredness, but on what I need to accomplish.  And if I need to, take a nap later.

John 3:16 (NKJV):  "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.  For God did not send His Son to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved."

What a loving and faithful God we have!  If you read in the Old Testament you often will read where the Israelites were afraid of God and didn't want to come close to Him.  But that is what God wants us to do!  He sent His only Son to dwell among us, to become like us, that we will no longer be afraid of Him (there is a godly fear, which is different), but will know that He is not only real, but He is a loving and kind Father.

We have no problem in giving up our lives for our children, but could you give up your life for those who don't care or know about you?  Yet, that is what Jesus did.  Jesus loves us so much that He willingly went to the cross and gave up His life for me, and for you.  He loves us that much. He knew us even then.  He knew our sinfulness.  He knew those who would love and serve Him, and He knew which of us would turn away, or even would be lukewarm towards Him.  He knew all this, and yet He was willing to give up His life for us, to become sin for us; taking all our sinfulness upon His own shoulders, and suffering just for us.  

As I sit here and think about what Jesus did for you and for me, I am in awe that someone could love me that much.  He made a way, when there was no way, to be reconciled to our Heavenly Father.  In Him alone we move and live and breathe.  What a Savior!

Take some time today to thank Jesus for His gift of life to us - that in and through Him, we live and move and breathe, for through Him we have access to our Heavenly Father.   Jesus said that no one omes to the Father but through me.  Jesus is all we need.  Can you trust Him with what is on your heart and mind this morning?

Blessings!

I love it wihen my prayers get answered.

 I won't go into details about all the prayers that God has answered lately, but He is about doing His good work - and in his timing.  His timing.  In fact, my daughter and I were talking about that last night.  She sees in her own life how God, in His own time, has brought things about.  It was fun to be able to share  how God takes the circumstances of our past and uses them for His glory.  How when we put our dependence on Him, He will provide.  Not always when we think we need it or want it, but when He knows it is needed.  He is definitely a good, good, Father.

I was happily surprised yesterday when we received an email from the church we have decided to 'join'.  It was from the person we met with on Sunday, and she was following up.  Wow.  Two days later and we hear from someone!  She shared about the small groups, and even suggested one that would possibly be a fit for us.  And, it meets on Monday evenings so it doesn't interfere with anything else we might want to do.  I think the classes break for the summer, so will see if we will start now or just wait.  It was so nice to have a very short, but informative note.  I responded back a couple times and she immediately answered my questions.  It felt very welcoming.  Right now I am feeling we have made the right choice on which church to attend.  I just want to feel welcomed and that I belong.  In time, I would like to be involved in some way, but for now, I'm content to be fed God's Word and lean into Him and not be busy doing.

Proverbs 3:6:  "In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths."

That is definitely a true proverb.  How many times do we do things OUR way, and how WE want them done - only to find out that we have failed?  I am sure I can't count the times I've done that.  And you probably can't either.  But, when I ask God to direct my path, to help me choose rightly, I may still choose the wrong thing, but He helps me to see what is right and good and right where He wants me.  And He will do that for you, too, if you will but seek His face and ask Him.

Money and success isn't all that it is cut out to be.  Yes, we need money in this world to survive - but how much does one need?  My trust in God to provide for us is greater than my job supplying money to give us those things.  I frequently - especially lately - think about how we can 'survive' without my income - and you know what?  We can.  We would just need to tighten the belt.  Don't go out to eat as much.  Make it more a treat versus being too lazy to cook.  And my freezer is full so there isn't an excuse of no food.  As much as I love to cook, some nights I just don't wanna!  In fact, I ought to pull something out of the freezer to thaw now so that we can have it for dinner tonight.  Or even better, put it in the crockpot and let it be cooking all day.  I think I have a recipe that I can use for that too.  And I know about where it is.  Or rather, where it should be!  

The joy in money and success is fleeting.  But when we put Jesus first, He will provide all that we need.  I firmly believe that.  The more I tithe and the more I help others, He supplies more in return.  It may not always be financially returns, but there is so much more.

I'm so looking forward to this three day weekend - and really, for no special reason.  We'll go to my daughter's after church Sunday for a cookout, bur Monday will be a lazy day, just as Saturday usually is.  Now if I can just kick my butt in gear and get some things done that I want to.  I get these great and crazy ideas of cleaning out my bookcases and straightening them up, or cleaning out my closet, or doing something productive..... and it gets shot down most of the time.  I want to do things by myself, I don't need someone telling me how to do something or what to do.  I did buy a small puzzle - 500 pieces - recently.  Perhaps I'll just work on it.  But then, my 'want to complete' list is starting to grow.  Oh what to do!

I've heard this 'saying' recently - or rather, the words - something about what is Good, what is Better, and what is Best.  Basically, from what I understand, we can do something good, but what could we do that would be better than good.  And if we want to do better than good, what would be the best?  I know I butchered that up... and don't know where that came from, other than thinking of what I'd like to do - so straightening things up would be good, but if I put in alphabetical order, would that be better?  Or if I wrote down every book by name and authored I have, would that be best?  Yipes - like any of that will happen!  I'll do good if I straighten!

And now I'm rambling so will hush.  My mind is going different directions this morning.  Another two cup coffee morning, perhaps.

Count your blessings, name them one by one.  Count your blessings, see what God has done.  Count your blessings, name them one by one.  Count your blessings and see what God has done.

Sometimes we are so disappointed or distraught with life that we miss seeing the blessings that God gives us.  I hear birds chirping outside my window this morning.  I can hear; it is a blessing.  I have coffee; it is a blessing.  I have a home, I have a bed. I have a job.  Each one is a blessing.

Count your blessings and see what God has done.

Take a moment and just think of all that God has provided for you.  You could lose it all in a wink of an eye.  Thank Him for all that you have - for it is a blessing.

Blessings!

I was frustrated.... and yet, it did good....

I was really frustrated last night.  No, not at hubby.  At my little sister.  Her hubby (who often makes her feel worthless) caused her to cancel surgery on her arm.  Her surgery was scheduled for this morning, and when I text'd her last night to ask what time was her surgery, she responded that she had cancelled it.  For the third time, mind you.  First time, her hubby made her cancel.  The second time he fussed because it interferred with his timing of them going to Florida for the winter.  And this time, he fussed that 'you said it wasn't hurting that bad so you don't need it done now'.  Needless to say, I called my little sister and we had a 'discussion'.  I may have spoken some words I should not have spoken.  I may have said some things that I should not have said.  But I convinced her that she needed to get this surgery completed so that her arm could heal.  (She had fallen last fall and torn ligaments in her upper left arm to where she could hardly use it.)  I even gave her an example (whether true or not) that in a few years she will look in the mirror and see that her left arm has shriveled up (gotten smaller) because she couldn't use it much without pain.  Now she is very self-conscious about her appearance, so this struck a nerve.  She had called at 5:05PM and had said she was cancelling.  By the time we got through with the conversation, I had convinced her to go through with it.  After all, she had done everything prior needed for the surgery.  You don't cancel surgery the night before because someone else doesn't want you to inconvenience them. (They had put up their above ground pool and it had mildew... well, SOMEONE has to scrub it out, and it won't be him!) She called the hospital after our conversation and told them she would be there; ignore her first phone call.  So, long story short, God woke me at 2:30AM our time (5:30AM their time and she had to check in at 6AM) and I started praying that she would get there in time, that she would still be on the schedule for surgery, that she would get the surgery done.  I received a text from her hubby a little bit ago that she was out of surgery (took 1 hr 15 min) and should be able to go home in an hour or so... and "it wasn't as bad as they thought it was".  She will hear about that now, I'm sure.  I don't care.  She needs to put herself first once in awhile and she has been injured since she fell last fall.  She still carries a huge hematoma on her hip from falling several years ago - the hospital wanted to drain it while she was in the ER and her hubby told them no, she was fine. So now she still has a huge blob, that has now congealed, on her hip.  A whole 'nother story!  So whatever I said caused her to get the surgery she needed and now hopefully she will get some other surgery that she needs done too.  I guess sometimes getting angry and frustrated is a good thing.

I found out something 'fun' yesterday.  At work, one of the directors and I got to chatting back and forth and he commented on my use of the 'reckon' and said it reminded him of when he lived in Texas.  I responded that I was born in Tennessee and proudly claim my heritage.  He came back that his parents lived in Pikeville, TN and he was wanting to move there.  That got our conversation started for sure - I have relatives that live in Pikeville, TN!  I gave them their names; perhaps his parents have run into them - after all, Pikeville isn't that large a town.  It could happen.  It was fun chatting with him.  Tennessee is a beautiful green state.  It's been 40 years since I have been back there to see any of my relatives.  My two brothers have made trips back specifically to see relatives, but I haven't, especially with living out here.  But my cousins and I keep in touch via messenger and facebook.  It's fun to reflect back with some of them about our 'Granny".  I have so many fond memories of her.

My hubby is doing much better.  He plans on driving to meet up with his friends tonight.  He did get on the treadmill yesterday and walked, holding on to the side.  If he will do that some every day, he will build up the strength in his legs.  I even got on the treadmill yesterday!  AND I could mark on my accountability sheet that I did. :-)  

Oh Oh OH!!  Someone sent me an article recently about taking a banana peel and letting it sit in a jar of water 24-48 hours - and then pour it over tomato plants.  Since the only tomatoes I've been getting have been off my little tiny cherry tomatoes, and the others were looking pretty wilted, I thought what have I got to lose?  So I did that; I put the banana peel in a jar of water the other day.  Sunday I poured it over my tomato plants; a little in each one.  Yesterday I went out to put more on them and I could not believe how healthy my plants looked!  Now to see if they will start producing as they should!  There was one plant that a few days ago had a small tomato on it - green, still growing.  Yesterday I couldn't find it.  I don't know if someone picked it or what - it isn't on the ground, it isn't half eaten, it just isn't on any plant.  Now if I go out today and find it, I'm going to think that I'm losing it for sure!

I think today is going to be a 2 or maybe 3 cup coffee day.  Awakened at 2:30AM to pray, my head is starting to ache some because I want to go back to sleep - but it is nearly time to sign in to the work computer.  I know I can take a nap later, and I just might do that.  But, my first cup of coffee is already all gone so I know I need at least a second cup.  Soon.  Praying that I can be clear-thinking today and able to get some things done I need to do for work.

Psalm 9:2 (NKJV):  "I will be glad and rejoice in You; I will sing praise to Your name, O Most High."

Have you ever taken a moment just to be happy to be alive?  (Think about the alternative!)  It is good to be alive (regardless of circumstances going on), because in this life, we have the pleasure and the joy to rejoice in Jesus and the sacrifice He made for us.  We CAN sing praise to Him name, for He alone is Holy.  He alone is our Redeemer, our Sanctifier, our Righteousness.  When we turn to Jesus, we are clothed in His Righteousness.  Life can't get better than that - unless we are with Him.

Lean into Jesus and just tell Him "thanks, Lord, for taking care of us".

Blessings!

Leaving an inheritance...

 We went to the 'class' yesterday morning at church where we could find out about their core beliefs and mssions.   I liked what I heard, as did hubby.  I really like their Heart Values:   'It's ok to not be ok'.  'Out of rows and into circles'.  'Right things for the right reasons'.  'Because it's worth it'.  'We pray'.  'We push the kid table and the adult table together'. 'Joy lifts us and tears release us'. 'If we were gone, would we be missed'.  'God intended us to live healthy lives'.    I think their mission statement is "We are becoming like Jesus for the sake of others."  I like that.

Hubby is ready to 'jump all in'... but I don't want to do that, but learn more about the different groups and then make a choice.   I need a women's group that I can plug into and become friends with some of the women.  He wants a men's group.  That's all well and good, but he was also pushing for 'us' to be in a group together.  And that too is well, and good, but I don't want to do it all at once.   One step at a time.   By the time the class was over, our questions answered, we were able to catch the preaching of the service.

Pastor Brian spoke on those things we pass on as an inheritance.  He talked about how his mom had tried to give him something of his grandmother's .... an inheritance of sort.  And my thoughts drifted to things I have of relatives who have died and I was able to get.  They are still nothing but material things.  And when I die, these things will mean nothing to my children; in fact, they more than likely know nothing about them.  Other than like my mother's and my father's Bibles.  I really would love to pass those on to someone who would take care of them, and possibly even use them.  I realize they are still material things, but it is something that reminds me of them.  I have a spoon and a scarf - unless I've already given the scarf away.... that I received after my granny died (mom's mom).  I have a few things of my real father's. Who would want them after I'm gone?  HIs glasses; a fishing license.  Silly things to hold on to.  But they were my dad's.

I think of things I have and wonder who would want them.  They are still just material things.  I have tried, over the years, to pass on to different ones the things I would want them to have.  A ring, a necklace, things that belonged to me but I really wanted them to have it.  I explained to them my reasons when I gave it.  Yes, I could still wear them, but before I die, I wanted to be sure these were with those I chose. I don't know what they did with them afterwards, and I don't need to know.  

But more than these material things that I have given away, and things that I want others to have, there is something else that I would want to pass on.  I want to pass on my love for Jesus, and my desire to live for Him.  My family doesn't need more 'stuff' to clutter their lives with.  They need Jesus, and when they have Jesus, there is nothing else they need.

This is the inheritance I wish to pass on; that when I die, they remember I loved Jesus with all my heart, with all my soul, with all my mind, and with all my strength.  And my prayer for them is that they too would want that for themselves.  To experience a love so great that nothing can change it.   Jesus will never leave you when life gets hard.  He won't look for a girlfriend or boyfriend when life isn't satisfying.  Jesus is with us all the way to the end, when we choose to follow Him.  He loves us with an undying love, and wants us to be with Him forever.  He will never force us to do His wil, it is always our choice.  And when we run to Him, He is always there with open arms.

Life is hard sometimes, and I know I have 'penned' many parts of my life in here.  But one thing I know is that no matter how hard life is, no matter what I go through, no matter how I deal with things in my life, I have a Savior who is waiting for me to hand it over, and He will walk with me through the hard stuff; never leaving me alone.   And He is always with you, as well.  Trust Him.  Tell Him what you are going through.  He is walking with you.

Psalm 72:23 (NIV):  "Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand."

Matthew 28:20 (NIV):  "and teaching them to obey all I have commanded you.  And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."

Life is ALL about Jesus.  He is all we need.

Blessings!

Completed

I created the accountability sheet yesterday afternoon.  It was an odd thing; I had told hubby what I was doing when I took my laptop into the front room to work on it.  He went into his office and when he was done, just as I was completing the form, and DEMANDED to know what I was working on.  That created a tense situation for me, because I wanted to respond sarcastically.  I had already told him; he had forgotten.  But to DEMAND an answer, it did not set well with me.  But I held in my irritation and responded politely. 

Not sure what was going on with him; could have been I told him he needed to give up his pride.... and his car keys earlier.  I won't go into all the details, but I am taking him to a couple appointments on Monday morning, but he insists he is driving after that.  HE will decide when it is time to give up his car keys.  Sigh.  So that is one of my prayer requests, that he will recognize it is time.  Yes, he can still drive to things close by, but anything more than a few miles away, he needs to find a way.  He is so afraid of giving up his independence, and I get it.  I understand what he is feeling.  But we are having more and more conversations about this and at some point, he will 'hear' what I am saying.   I won't benefit from it as I will (as others at times) have to take him places.  I want him to keep driving.  But I know too that it isn't always safe for him to be driving.  As we talk about it, please pray that God will soften his heart and he will 'hear' it is for his own good.  Not that we are taking away from him; but it is for his own good.  Perhaps he will let me drive when we go out more.  That would help.

Today is Sunday and we will be going to church.  In fact, today, we are to attend the 'class' at this church we've been attending to hear their beliefs and mission.  I love CCV, but it is way too big and the deal with the small group thing was a factor not to go there.  Although I would go occasionally, because I do love the church.  But this church is again multi-cultural as we had attended before, and is quite diversified.  The few times we have heard the pastor speak, it has been from the Bible scriptures so that is a good starting point.  We'll go hear what they have to say to day and will go from there.  This is the first step in 'joining'... finding out what they believe.  I'm looking forward to getting involved in the women's group and make new friends.  It was interesting that I prayed last Sunday that God would show me/us if that is where we are to go.... make us feel welcome there.  And we had more people come over to greet us (and not through the greeting time) and welcome us there.  I figured that was my sign.

I John 1:7 (NKJV)  "But if we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses us from all sin."

It really is important to be with other believers.  We often say that we don't have to go to church to be a Christian, and that is true, but we are called to be with other believers to edify the church and to be a part of the body.  You remember the scripture in I Corinthians 12.   You cannot say that you are the foot so you don't need the head; or that they are an eye and are not needed.  Ah... I need to write out the entire scripture, but I do not have the time this morning.    Look it up; begin with verse 12.

Each person is valuable and is needed in the church.  It doesn't matter what your gift is, it is needed.  We are called to edify the church and walk this journey with other believers.  Where do you fit in?  What is your gift?  Is it serving?  Is it giving?  Is it encouragement? Is it prayer?  Is it leading?  Is it teaching?  We all have gifts that can be used in the body of Christ.  And as you give it to the Lord, He builds up His body, the church.

Blessings!

Accountability comes in many forms

I had some difficulty getting to sleep last night - and then was wakened frequently by hubby as he tossed and turned throughout.  I kept telling myself it was Saturday and that I didn't need to get up early (definitely not at 2 or 3AM!) and could sleep longer.  Finally, around 5AM as hubby was tossing and turning still, I finally got up.  Yes, I get up about this time anyway on the weekend, but I didn't sleep much during the night so didn't want to.  I came into my room, and cuddled up in my blanket and tried to go back to sleep.  Not sure what time it was, perhaps about 5:30AM hubby came in and brought my coffee, apologizing he woke me when he saw I was asleep.  No worries, I still wanted to do my quiet time before our day began.  

My mind has still been trying to wrap around hubby falling the other day and how I can convince him to do exercises to strengthen his legs.  And, it also brings the realization that I need to do it as well.  It's always easier to give advice to others, but if we aren't doing it ourselves, what proof is there that it works.  I know I've shared frequently my angst in not exercising like I should; although I want to.  The desire is there, but the atmosphere and attitude doesn't always go there.  As I think about hubby's legs being weak - and I don't know that it is just because of his surgery.  Afterall, they only inserted a stent behind one knee.  It wasn't as if he was laid up in a bed for weeks.  He was in the hospital overnight.  He was told to walk slow, and do short distances immediately.  Yesterday he did not walk at all.  I suggested he walk on the treadmill, and he declined.  I am going to start pushing on it since it is getting so hot out before we are ready to walk.  He can hold on to both sides of the treadmill and it will go very slow.

And I need to use it too.  I keep making the plans in my mind to do so... and after a long day of work sitting in front of the computer, plop my butt down on the couch to read, crochet, and/or watch a movie.  I also am weaker than I used to be due to lack of exercise.  It does sort of sneak up on you and then you don't realize it.  Until you try to open a jar of something that used to be easy and now it isn't.  I refuse to be dependent upon anyone because of my laziness of keeping myself strong and active.

My goal this weekend is to create for myself an accountability sheet.  It will include other things then just exercise of some sort, but I must do this for me.  Perhaps hubby could use it too and it would motivate him.  I have no one else who can hold me accountable, and I certainly do NOT want hubby to hold me accountable.... I would quit immediately!  He just doesn't get I don't want him telling me what to do.... unless I ask for his opinion, and that is just what it is - his opinion. 

I can't ask my sister to hold me accountable - we've tried that numerous times and she never completes her part of it and I've tried to hold her accountable and there is always an excuse (some legit, some not) on why she hasn't walked or done something.  Right now she can't do anything because... she is having arm surgery on Tuesday - FINALLY - after tearing tendons and muscles in her upper left arm back last fall when she fell.  Yes, she has delayed it all this time, suffered through the pain, and just hasn't dealt with it.  Hopefully my nagging at her about it has pushed herto completion this time.  She has cancelled it twice.

So this accountability sheet will be for me, to give me a push to walk more, to use some of my hand weights to build up arm strength.  I need to eat better, but am not going to go there right now.  It is strength I need right now, not so much working on my diet.  Which in reality, isn't THAT bad.  I may eat too much, but it stays with me because I haven't exercised.  I don't burn the calories.  And my fat belly and butt are an testament to what I haven't been doing.

So what about you?  What is your goal for this weekend?  What do you hope to accomplish?  Clean out some boxes?  Clean out a closet?  I still need to do both!  My bed in here is getting loaded down again; I need to get refocused and clean it off and get things put away.  If I get that done, that would be an accomplishment in itself!  So much I want to do...so much I tell myself I can't do because of specific personal reasons, and in that I have become lazy.  Yes, lazy.  Never thought I would use that word to describe myself, but I must.  And I don't want to be.

Have to get up and get moving now.... something to think about.  Who can you trust to not control you, but hold you accountable to live your life to the fullest?  To encourage you, to make you feel worthy of effort.  Find that someone who can do that.  And if you can't...

look to Jesus, for He is the greatest encourager of all.

Blessings!

so many topics, so many thoughts.....

Alas, where do I start.  My mind is heavy with so much stuff going on inside of it.  Situations that I have caused (when will I ever learn?), things that have happened that scare me, and things God has laid on my heart and things I feel the 'want to create' mood.  I guess just start at one....

Hubby and I went for a walk again yesterday... instead of going around the block, we walked the length of 3 blocks and headed back home.  Hubby seemed to be doing well.... until we rounded the same corner as the day before and the same thing happened... where the sidewalk at the corner slants down... he lost his balance.  It took him several steps to regain his balance, and caused him to walk into the middle of the street.  The next gate was ours so we turned up the driveway, and he lost his balance again, only this time he didn't regain it, but made it to the gate before he fell.  He cut his knuckle on the metal, but other than that, he was fine.  He said his legs just went totally weak as he went up the driveway.  So we had a talk.  Not that he listened to what I was saying.  I told him he was scaring me.  I told him I did not want him driving anywhere without me because I don't know if he will lose his balance and fall and seriously hurt himself, or not have the strength to stop.  Of course he disagreed and said he was ok.  I know he has a medical doctor appointment next Wednesday and I wrote a letter yesterday to the doctor and told him what has been happening.  I told hubby I'd take off work and take him to his appointments - but he has declined my offer.  We will probably have this conversation again this weekend.

You know I have sometimes talked about 'living in the pit' whenever I get depressed, and that I have to fight not to move the furniture around, put up curtains, etc. when I get depressed.  It's sort of a joke with me and comes from a book Beth Moore wrote years ago called 'Get out of the Pit'.   I know it happens to me, and happens to others, and some people are extremely depressed and see no way out.  I remember a time that it happened to me.  But I got out.  And when I feel depression coming upon me, I reject it and put on praise and worship music and sing along.  I refuse to live sad when I have a Savior who tells me to Live.  Anyway, my little sister and I were talking last night about some things in the past; things like her best friend who now has alzheimers and doesn't know her, the things they used to do, and I can't remember what else, but something came up about things making us depressed.  She may have been talking about her marriage for she is constantly depressed about that.  But, I made the comment about living in the pit - and how we tend sometimes to want to put up curtains and rearrange the furniture - meaning we make our home in the pit instead of finding a way out.  We both laughed and talked about other things.  And, as she often does, she ponders the conversation and I get a text not long after about something I said.  Last night was "you said I like to live in the pit and put up curtains' and she informed me she doesn't do that and it was a horrible thing to say to a person who gets depressed.  Sigh.  Walk on eggshells.  I just wrote back I was sorry she was pulling parts of the convesration out that was about both of us and personalizing it; we were joking about it, it wasn't anything, and I was sorry ... and just let it go.  Me and my big mouth... I should learn I can't joke with her most of the time. It was fine when we talked... and laughed about it... but she disected the conversation.  I give up.

I feel that God laid it on my heart the other day to create a personal retreat.  I want to do that.  I had asked my sister if she would consider flying out in September and we would take 2-3 days at a hotel and do this personal retreat.  She turned me down.  She also informed me at that time she wasn't doing the workbook I thought we both were working on.  I guess when things aren't her idea, then it isn't worth doing.  She's in to the 'end times' and books and things like that.  I'm in to 'living now' - meaning I want to know how to live my life that I know I'll be with Jesus.  I still have a lot of changes to make in my life, and I'm still a work in progress.  I know that God has plans for me, even now, but I have to do my part to prepare for that.  The end times will happen, and are happening.  My position is that I need to be ready in my walk with God when it does happen.  It was disappointing she said she wasn't interested in either, but it's not about her... it's about me and my growth too.

I've had a few other thoughts come about putting together things... and I need to get started on messages for this fall too.  I have enough to do without creating more things to do.  So many things I want to do, create, and I need to get my mindset in the right place to do them.  I need to quit waiting for my sister to get to where I am and plunge ahead on my own, if that is what I am to do.  Just like with hubby; he always wants to do what I want to do... and sometimes I just want to do it myself.  All by myself.  I'm content to be alone.  I enjoy being with others.  But there are those times... you must walk the journey by yourself to fulfill what your desire is.

So glad today is Friday.  I do have a dentist appointment today at 8AM so need to get presentable to be outside the house.  My appointment with the oral surgeon yesteday went well.  My surgery has healed well and he can do the implant at any time.  Only, I told him I just can't do it right now.  Perhaps I used hubby as an excuse... as my sister accused me of.... but I told him hubby just had surgery and he is losing his balance and falling = which are both true statements - and that I just couldn't deal with thinking about an implant right now.  He said no problem, we could do it whenever I was ready - or, I could look into having a bridge done for that open area.  For right now, I'm not going to do anything. It hasn't stopped me from eating, although it does make it difficult sometimes.  Maybe I won't eat as much. Or inhale my food as much and instead chew it.  I just am not into doing it right now, if ever. 

We have a friend's funeral tomorrow morning to attend.  That always brings us back to where do we stand with Jesus.  Is my heart right with Him?  Am I living the life He has called me to live?  Is Jesus first in my life?  What do I think about Jesus?  Who is Jesus to me?  

Can you answer those questions honestly?   Do you feel a twinge when you do?  What would you need to change to live for Jesus?

John 14:6 (NIV):  "Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life.  No one comes to the Father except through me."

You may think you don't care, or that everything you have done can never be forgiven.  But that is not true.  When you come to Jesus with a broken and contrite spirit, seeking Him, seeking His forgiveness, He offers it freely.  How can He forgive so freely?  Because before you were even born, He knew you.  He came to earth as a baby, suffered and died on the cross, so that we all - including you - would have access to Him and could live with Him forever.  Before you were, He knew you.  He knew what your life would be like.  He knows all about what your future holds.  Would you not surrender all that you hold on to - and grab hold of Jesus' hand and allow Him to walk with you the rest of your life?  His hand is outstretched .... always.... just for you.

Blessings!

I guess it was good.... and starting my day right

 I mentioned yesterday that my one boss had created this list (and sent me a copy of it) of all that he does.  I wasn't sure that was what he should do... but I guess it was!  The President wasn't aware of a majority of the things he was doing and my boss was able to share where he was in each step.  He had listened to others' perception of what he was doing, and it was wrong.  My boss felt vindicated and after determining projects that were to be his 100% focus, he felt at peace about his job.  We have an hour meeting scheduled on Friday so he will tell me all about it then.  

Hubby and I did take a walk around the block yesterday morning before I started work... and he was wheezing by the time we got back.  He sees his doctor soon and will let him know the wheezing is still there.  He did give me a 'scare' as we turned the last corner to get to the house; all of a sudden he stumbled and was doing the 'catch his balance' dance.  Only it seemed to be in slow motion.  It was really weird.  He almost fell and I reached out for him and asked if he was ok (I hadn't seen him stumble; but he shuffles his feet when he walks)... and he said he had just stumbled and was fine.  As I watched him as we walked, I see more and more (even more since the surgery), his ability to walk and stand straight are as an old person.  I don't know how to describe it.  Other than it is scary.  It scares me, so I have to believe that it scares him.  I have frequently told him he needs to get active... but he has every excuse not to.  And when he does, it's "I haven't done this in a long time so need to go slow" , which is correct, but don't do it slow once and stop.  And I feel helpless, for he won't listen to me, but insists on doing things his own way.  I am going to talk with him more about his driving.  Or rather, not driving.  I feel he is more afraid of losing his independence if he stops.  There are many more important things to consider.  At least his driving is limited to meeting his friends and doctor visits.  As long as I am working, I cannot take him places.  Lord, please help us!  Open his eyes to admit to himself that maybe it is time....

I finished a book last night that was thought provoking and interesting.  It was by the person who is having the conference this July.  I figured since I wasn't going to go, that perhaps I could read the books and it would help.  And it did, somewhat.  Gave me things to think about.  One of the things she shared I found very interesting, because I do it, I see others doing it all the time.  She had mentioned to her husband that she wanted a new car.  He asked her why, what was wrong with the one she had.  Nothing was wrong with it, but she just decided she wanted a new one.  He couldn't understand her reasoning for wanting a new car.  There really wasn't one, other than 'she wanted a new car'.  Her current car was 17 years old, but it had been kept up and there was nothing wrong with it at all.  It ran perfectly, the body was in perfect shape; why did she need a new car?  She didn't NEED a new car; she just decided she wanted one.  Her husband sat her down and discussed how much a new car would cost ... and in the end, she didn't get the new car.  BUT, isn't that what (I) we do at times?  We decide 'oh, this is old' and although there is nothing wrong with it, we decided we need a new one.  A new car.  A new house.  A new spouse.  A new.... whatever.  And the one we have is in perfect condition.  There isn't a 'need', but a 'want'.   

Reminds me the Ford place where I bought my Escape has been contacting me several times the past month or so.  I have a 2017 Ford Escape Titantian (or whatever it's called)... it's paid for.  It just turned 36K on the odometer. It's a pretty blue.  They are trying to get me to trade it in for a 2019 Ford Escape (no T) that is white, with 17,000 miles.  I have told them via phone; I have emailed them back - I don't want to trade my car in.  I don't need to.  It's paid for.  It's in great condition.  I only have 36K miles on it.  I.don't.need.a.newer.car.   And yet, they persist.  The latest deadline is May 31st.  Maybe then they will quit contacting me.

Another thing she wrote about I found amusing, yet interesting.  Shortly after she was married she jumped up to get ready to do a morning run.  Her husband told her they need to make the bed first.  She didn't understand his reasoning of that.  She told him that many times she would go one or two days without making the bed... she gets up and goes for her run or exercise every single morning.  He told her the bed needed to be made first.  Then he said something that was interesting to me.  He said, "When you stop to make the bed first thing in the morning, it sets the tone for the day."  Now that statement alone doesn't make a lot of sense, but if you think about it, it does.  He refused to budge and she helped him make the bed.  

So what do you do - that you always do - to start your day?  I wish I did get up and exercise, but I don't.  That is a 'habit' I need to work on.  Especially since I see hubby failing more each day, I realize how much I need to keep moving so that I retain my strength.  I don't make the bed; hubby insists it is his job - which he sometimes does around 11AM or so.  The first thing I do when I get up (after the pit stop) is come into my quiet time and spend my time with Jesus.  I read my Bible, write in a journal, work on my Bible Study, type in here, and sometimes have time to read.  Sometimes I have time to nap a few minutes, depending on how long I read.  Hubby brings me my coffee when he gets up a short time after I do.  My want is to put God first in my day.  My day gets crazy enough that if I don't put Him first, I know I will forget to do it at all.  It is my choice to get up early to spend my time with Him.  I don't even have to set an alarm anymore.  I usually wake up 4-4:45 on weekdays and weekends.  I am looking forward to when I don't have to work and if I want to go back to sleep (and as you know many mornings I do), I can, and still do my quiet time as long as I want.  But for now, I'm limited timewise with working so need to get up early.  

I have an appointment with the oral surgeon this morning to have a cat scan done on the tooth area they are to put the implant.  And now, I'm having second thoughts on the implant.  The cost has always distressed me, and I'm just at the point, I don't want to do it.  I'm thinking more of just going with a bridge, which would involve two new crowns and a third 'tooth'.  I don't know.  I'm praying this morning that God will decide for me... based upon the cat scan... then I can tell them I just need to think about it.  I see my regular dentist tomorrow for a cleaning, so hope I can discuss with him my concerns and see if he sees it my way or if I should go ahead with the implant if the oral surgeon says I need to.  That has been on my mind all last evening and again this morning.  I just want them to leave me alone!  It is hard to eat anything with gaps between my teeth; I think there is only the left upper side that has all the teeth in it... makes chewing real interesting.  But obviously real doable.

Which reminds me - I cooked a whole chicken in my air fryer for the first time last night - and in 70 minutes it was cooked and crispy.  And good!  We had chicken tacos last night.  I tore all the meat off the bone and today we will have a chicken taco salad for lunch, and then I'll use the rest of the chicken to make chicken salad for sandwiches.  Or maybe save the salad for dinner and the chicken salad for lunch.  Hmmm will have to think about that.  It was really good... and I long to be cooking real food again.  I've gotten lazy and haven't cooked much for some time.  But I want to.  

Matthew 6:31-34 (NIV):  "So do not worry, saying 'what shall we eat?' or 'what shall we wear?'  For the pagans run after all these things, and your Heavenly Father knows that you need them.  But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.  Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own."

No matter what my day looks like, no matter what comes up against me, if I seek God first, He alone sets the tone for my day and how it is going to go.  I have no need to worry about today, or about the future, for I know He holds my hand.

Blessings!

Hubby's home and all is well.

 Hubby called me about 11AM yesterday morning to come and pick him up - which I did.  Was thinking about stopping for fast food on the way home and take it with us, but got a call from my daughter that she had some things for me that she wanted to drop off.  She asked about hubby and when I told her we were on our way home, she offered to stop and pick up fast food for us and bring - to which I said OK!  It was nice not to have that additional stop.  Hubby is doing well and told me again last night how appreciative he was that I would stay all day at the hospital and being with him.  It was nice that he acknowledged that I was there for him.  We had a quiet afternoon; he went to do his quiet time, and I went  back to work.  He even heated up our food for dinner!!  I can't remember the last time he did that!  Granted, we had 'tv dinners', but he heated them up for both of us.  

Yesterday was an interesting day at work.  My one boss (male) asked if he could call me yesterday morning, and I said 'sure', and he did.  He shared about him being called on the 'red carpet' and his frustration of people not being clear on what they want from him, and then when he focuses on one area, they tell him its the wrong one.  I let him 'spill it out', encouraged him, and scheduled a 7:30AM meeting this morning for him to meet with his boss to discuss this more.  Not sure that his plans of telling his boss (and put it on paper) of all that he does do, without help, is the right path to take, but he is a lot smarter than me, so maybe it is.  Don't know that I would do much different though.  Don't we, when someone says we don't do anything, begin creating a list to show all that we do?

I can remember when hubby and I had this discussion a long, long time ago as to what does he do.  He doesn't want us to have this conversation now, but back then, he actually was doing some things.  What he did, though, was create a list, and he would write down from this time to this time he did this.  And from this time to this time he did that.  Oh my goodness.  I remember laughing at him - which didn't go over well at all - but who does that?  I don't have to prove my worth to anyone.  Nor does he.  But we need to be able to give a good report of each other.  If he sees I'm not doing something he thinks I need to do, he needs to speak it to me in love, and let me either decide to take care of that issue or explain the purpose of what I was doing.  And the same with him.  I wasn't asking for an itemized list.  I was asking that I see the results of the things he said he was doing.  Now, he admits he doesn't do anything except laundry and any dishes we dirty up.  And bringing me coffee in the mornings.  We have house cleaners come in once a month because he doesn't clean the house as he promised me he would.  Ah.... enough of that... not complaining... just a rambling of the mind of the example of what we do to justify what we don't do.

My lesson this morning was on the subject of repentance.  How would you answer this question?  "How often do you think a person must repent to be in a right relationship with God?"  1) Only once, when the person believes in Christ for salavation.  2) During special church services when others are resonding to God.  3) Daily, in order to keep a clean slate before God.  4) At salvation and anytime thereafter that God convicts the person of sin.

Did you know that an attitude of repentance is crucial in our initial coming to Christ for salvation?  To become a Christian involves repenting - which means turning away from an old way of life and turning to Christ for forgiveness and salvation.   Yet, our repentance doesn't end there.  We need that same attitude in our ongoing relationship with God.  As Christians, we will still be tempted to do the things we have always done in sin.  We've been given a desire to change, but sometimes in these temptations to return to our old ways, we give in.  But we have also been given a new nature to desire to turn away from those things we did before.  The inclination of those who truly belong to Him will be to humbly confess and forsake sin whenever we are confronted with it in our lives.

Back in the 1970's there was a revival in Romania.  The Christians there were called 'Repenters'.  Why?  Because they repented from all forms of alcohol and lying to their employers.  Yep.  That's what they repented from, I guess they over indulged in alcohol and lied to their employers.  And it doesn't matter WHAT sin we do, it is still a sin when God touches our hearts and we feel a need to turn away from it.  I'm not saying drinking is wrong.  God doesn't say drinking is wrong.  His word says to not get drunk.  

Repentance is for Christians as well as non-Christians.   In other words, 'once a repenter, always a repenter'.  God often brings to mind things that I need to change, or to ask forgiveness for.  It may be a sharp word to someone.  Or I ignored someone.  Or I neglected to do what I said I would do.  I've had to repent to God many times, and I imagine I will need to repent many more times before I die.  Why do I do it?  Because I want to be with Jesus.  Repenting keeps Jesus as my focus and my desire to be like Him.  Only Jesus was pure and holy and without sin.

When King David was confronted of his sin with Bathsheba, he wrote Psalm 51.  I read it frequently, and allow God to speak to me.  I hope you do as well.

Psalm 51:1-17 (NIV)  "Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions.  Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin.  

For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me.  Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight; so you are right in your verdict and justified when you judge.  Surely I was sinful at birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me.  Yet you desired faithfulness even in the womb; you taught me wisdom in that secret place.

Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.  Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones you have crushed rejoice.  Hide your face from my sins and blot out all my iniquity.

Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.  Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me.  Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

Then I will teach transgressors your ways, so that sinners will turn back to you.  Deliver me from the guilt of bloodshed, O God, you who are God my Savior, and my tongue will sing of your righteousness. Open my lips, Lord, and my mouth will declare your praise.  You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it; you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.  My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart you, God, will not despise."

Become a repenter.  You won't regret it.

Blessings!

Who would have thought....

 that at 2:23AM I would be awake and typing on here?  I am exhausted.  No, I'm more than that.  I'm wiped out.  Spent the day at the hospital waiting on hubby to have his surgery, then he was sent to a room as they decided to keep him overnight for observation, although he was doing just fine.  The doctor told me it was because the incision was in the abdominal area and it was a couple inches deep to the vein he had to go down to get to the aneurysm behind the knee.  I left the hospital around 5:30PM-ish I think and then headed home.  Stopping at El Pollo Loco, I grabbed a 2 pc chicken meal to have when I got home.  I hadn't eaten breakfast or lunch except for a protein bar and some grapes/strawberries I had packed.  I was hungry.  Got home, ate, watched a movie, decided to crash about 8:30PM... which is around our usual time for bed during the week.  Only... this time... I'm tossing and turning, and am awake some time after 1AM.  I refuse to get up.  I continue to toss and turn. I pray for those tat came to mind.   I finally gave up.  I came in here to my room to sleep in my chair; perhaps that is what I'm needing.

Nope.  My legs are aching - more than likely from sitting for most of the day.  I did get up and walk occasionally, but obviously not a whole lot.  I sat and nearly crochet'd an entire baby blanket while I was there.  And that's with taking breaks!  So, my legs hurt, I'm really tired, and I can't sleep.  I'm thinking I can take a tylenol to maybe stop the ache and maybe in a bit I can snag another hour or two of sleep before needing to start work.  And, another thing that popped up in my very tired mind this morning is that it shows how inactive I have been with sitting all day, moving just enough to fix dinner, then sitting all evening.  I simply must start getting more active.  I don't think it is going to be today.

Hubby is to be discharged this morning.  I didn't take today off so asked him to call me when they discharged him and when he is ready to come home, I will drive over and pick him up.  I don't need to go up and sit and wait.   I remember last time I did go up the next morning and he had already been discharged and was finishing packing up.  No sense in me finding a parking spot and going up to his room when I can just pull up front and they will bring him down.  Of course if I went and parked my car, that would mean I'd be walking some... 

It was nice my bosses both checked in with me yesterday to see how things were going.  My one (male) boss.... I feel bad for him... his calendar is always back-to-back meetings, and he is one of these people who are so organized and keeps notes of every meeting, etc.  Since he and I often share 'true' feelings, he shared he got called on the carpet yesterday..... for not attending specific meetings.... when he is already double and triple booked most of the time.  He had delegated to someone else another meeting or two...  and was called on it.  He felt very discouraged... and he said I was able to help him get past that discouragement by reminding him that he doens't work for this company, he works for God.  Yes, he is a religious man.  He is a mormon, so I just share the goodness of Jesus with him.  And he listens.  I was able to share some thoughts with him and he said he appreciated the reminder.  Sometimes life really does get overwhelming and we need to stop and grab hold of Jesus' hand and remind ourselves that He is the One in control.  And yet, He allows us to make our own decisions.

Colossians 3:23-24 (NKJV):  "And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance; for you serve the Lord Christ."

In other words, do everything as if you are working for Jesus.  When you do your job well, you (usually) get paid well, but even more than that, you have the favor of Jesus.  Why do you have His favor?  Because He sees your heart and what you do.  He loves you.  He is always there for you.  Even now, as tired as I am, I know that today as I try to work, He will get me through it.  I have amazing bosses who will allow me to take a nap if I need it.  I'm covered by His hand.  And it is a very good place to be..

I'm going to try and grab a bit more sleep..... and if I can't, a shower and a hot, strong, cup of coffee (or two) will get me through the day.  Hope your day is going well.

Blessings!

Now that was a surprise!

 My little sister sent me a copy of a text from someone whom we both know, but haven't seen in years.  This person attended 'my' church years ago and I took Discipleship under her and even was one of her 'roosters', as we called ourselves.  We haven't been in contact for years other than facebook.  She is a well known speaker now and head of Teach One Lead One.'   I knew she started this year doing a 5 day session called 'Wild Women of God' and had a class last month I think it was.  It was about a July session that my little sister got a personal invitation from her about.  My sister knows her through me, and when this person was in Indiana several years ago for a confernce and stayed overnight with my sister at her home.  I think that is their connection.   Anyway, her last sentence in this text was to also invite me.  Admittedly, it made me feel funny to be included that way.  This person taught me so much about loving Jesus as my personal Savior.  She taught me, through Discipleship, about prayer, about spending a daily quiet time with God first thing every morning (and I still get up early to do that), about tithing, about surrendering everything to Jesus.  And she taught me so much more.  Nearly 40 years ago I took that year long class, and I want to believe that I have continued to grow over the years because of her influence through that class.

I read my sister's email to hubby and his response totally surprised me.  He asked me first about the cost, cause I had looked it up on the website, just curious what the cost would be.  Then he said, "If you can find a way to go, I give you my blessing to attend."  What?  He would let me go?   After a bit of discussion, I have pretty much decided I will not go - at least not this time.  She 'personally invited' (so the email said) my sister to attend, and 'tell xxxx she can attend too'.  Yes, I would love to have someone mentor me and help me grow in my faith.  For the past several years I have been struggling after being verbally attacked about my relationship with Christ.  My confidence was shattered by words spoken and I am now always conscious of my words and actions.  Yes, I allowed another person to beat me up.  And I have struggled since then to get past the damage done to my mind and heart.  I have forgiven... but it isn't as easy to forget the unexpected crushing words.  The devil constantly reminds me of them.

IF my sister could attend, I would perhaps find a way to go.  The cost isn't so out of the question.  There are three prices, and the first one is around $1400, but that also includes 5 days of hotel and all meals and transportation from the airport and back.  I would only have to pay for my airline ticket, and take the days off work.  I know my sister financially cannot attend, and since I was not 'personally invited', and she was, part of me longs to learn, but the other part says I can't go because that would be a slam to my sister who cannot afford to go.  I know - that doesn't make sense, it's just who I am.  I don't want to cause conflict.  Money is the root of all evil.

But there is another conference called the 'Divine Conference' that Free Chapel is doing in September - and since I bought tickets to attend last year, I got them half price.  So I have my ticket.  And it's in Gainsville, Georgia.  I mentioned it to hubby last night as we were talking about the other... and told him that my sister had also bought a ticket to it.  It's a 10 hour drive from Indiana.  He actually suggested if I chose not to go to the other, I go to this one in September with my sister.  In fact, he shocked me by saying I could fly to Indiana and drive out with my sister to attend.  Who is this person?  I appreciate the fact I'm not having to demand I get to go, but instead, he is saying, 'go! with my blessing!'   I don't know though.  Need to process this one.  I really wanted to go when I bought the ticket. I really want to grow and be with other women who want to grow in the Lord.  Praying about this one.

Hubby goes in for his aneurysm surgery on his leg today.  I've got the day off work and although it is 'timecard Monday', was able to get everyone to approve their timecards last Friday and I approved them.  I'll get on the computer this morning to make sure I got everyone approved.  Hubby isn't as anxious as he was the first surgery, but is very concerned that the hospital told him the surgery had been coded wrong and they were working on it, but he will have to sign papers that if the insurance refuses to approve/pay for the surgery, he will be responsible for it.  That would make me concerned too.  I'm trusting God to work it out.  It's easy sometimes to pull the wrong code and this doctor's office, although he is the best in the nation at what he does, doesn't have a real sharp office staff sometimes.  We will be heading over to the hospital in a bit (because of the insurance issue, the hospital moved his surgery back two hours so they can get it fixed).  Hoping and praying that all goes well, and that we will be back home by mid-afternoon.  They don't intend to admit him this time... it just depends on how long the surgery is and he comes out of the anesthesia.  Appreciate your prayers for the doctors and for hubby as the surgery progresses.  His surgery was at 8AM... I think it's at 10AM now, but will need to check with him as now I don't remember.

And for now, I need to check my work computer for the timecards and then get dressed to head out the door.  We will have to leave soon.   

Zephaniah 3:17 (NKJV):  "The Lord your God in your midst, The Mighty One, will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing."

As you can see, my thoughts are elsewhere this morning, conferencees, surgery...  and it will all work out.  Hopefully I can remember to tell you about what I learned yesterday at church.  It was a really good service.  Until then, 

Blessings!

Two sometimes isn't better than one...

Late yesterday morning I stomped in here and grabbed my computer and started typing.  I was soooo angry... and I just typed out my anger.  Then I decided, naw, I'm not going to post it.  I copied it and thought I'd send it to my sister, cause we do a lot of complaining and whining to each other.  Then I decided I shouldn't do that either.  So I deleted it.  The only reason I am reminded of it is that the title was still on the page when I came to the blog... something about being so angry....   No, don't text, call, or ask what it was about.  It isn't important.  I'm so over it.  I got it out while typing, and over that time, I was able to resolve my emotional state without saying things I shouldn't say, without causing a big blow-out.  It's done, it's over with. 

And then I went shopping.    I went to Tuesday Morning and found a couple 'snuggies' for our two new great-grandsons that will be here by end of summer.  Then on to Sam's Club and bought way too much - and yet, it was things we needed, but it's the cost of things nowadays.  I hadn't gone to the store for awhile... prices are starting to rise.  And I   didn't even buy any meat!  I take that back - I did get hot dogs cause hubby loves his hot dogs.  It was a nice couple hours out BY MYSELF.  I think hubby knew he really did not want to go with me.

The rest of the day was uneventful and we watched a couple movies last night.  Oh - he did not ask if he could take me to breakfast yesterday as I had expected.  No, I got to cook. ;-)   Surprisingly, although I stalled last night on fixing dinner, he didn't suggest going out for dinner either.  I finally fixed something around 6PM.   He didn't even ask me about dinner even though I usually start it around 4PM.  I intentionally sat there and he didn't say a word.  Hmmm, am I the wicked witch of the west and he was afraid to talk to me, knowing how angry I was in the morning, even though I hadn't said anything?  Now that's funny!  

We do plan to go to the 9AM service this morning at church.  Which means I can't stay in my room for another hour or so like I can on weekends.  And this morning I probably really should cause I couldn't wake up this morning.  Didn't sleep well last night; kept running through the movies in my mind, then I was too warm and kicking off covers to cool off, then got cold... finally fell asleep but was awake at 4:30AM in the mind.. but the body wasn't.  Went back to sleep in my chair this morning and even when hubby came in at 5:30AM to bring my coffee, I was struggling to stay awake.  A shower will wake me up.  It better, anyway.

Ecclesiastes 7:9 (NKJV):  "Do not hasten in your spirit to be angry, for anger rests in the bosom of fools."

Ephesians 4:26 (NKJV):  "Be angry, and do not sin.  Do not let the sun go down on your wrath."

Yep.  I went there.  It's ok to be angry.... but the point is, don't let your anger overrule your emotions or your behavior.  It's ok to discuss it.  It's ok to walk away to calm down.  Regardless of how angry I was, regardless of how I still feel about the situation, I simply needed to walk away from that situation and process my emotions within myself.  Didn't need to post it on here and didn't need to send it to my sister.  I needed to process my anger with God and tell Him my reasons for anger.  And that's what I did while I was driving and shopping.  I let it go.  My pent up anger was released and I was able to speak kindly when I came home.  We never again referred to the issue, nor will I bring it up.  It's not my problem now.  I gave that situation to God and hubby, and will let them work it out.   End of rant and whining and anger.

The point is even in sharing this much...  sometimes when we get angry (especially at our spouses or children), we need to step back and breathe.  If we allow the anger to control our words, our emotions, we sin, for yes, anger can cause us to say or do things that we normally would be able to control.  I don't want to be a person who responds in anger.  Although I have.  Although I do.  I try to get past that part.  Not easy, but the grace of God always sustains me (and you) and helps us overcome those things that keep us from being like Him.

And that is our goal.  To be like Jesus.

Blessings!

I think I need more books.

 Yes, you read that right.  I think I need more books to read.  There, I added the last two words.  I know I have several books on my kindle - and on the book shelves - that I haven't read yet... and still, I think I need more books.  Could this be a prelude to perhaps going to Savers or Goodwill today for 'something to do' and look at their book section?  But sometime this weekend, I think I need to rearrange some of the bookshelves in hubby's 'office'.  I need to pack up or get rid of more VCR tapes and DVDs ad CDs and cassettes, I think.  Either donate or put away.  I need more book space on the the book cases.  Yeah, I'm sitting here looking at a 3 ft (seriously!) high stack of books at my left that I have either read or decided not to read or used for a reference at one time or another.  I need to get these off the floor and straighten up my little area here.  Gee!  A project for today that perhaps I can actually accomplish - and enjoy doing it!  Then I can make room for MORE books, right?  I wonder if they make bookcases that are also nightstands.  Wouldn't that be cool?  Then I could incorporate more books.  Just thinking aloud. :-)  But it is something to do today, right?

I started reading I Corinthians in my Bible this morning.  I love the new Bible I bought that has a summary of the book in front of it.  It gives the background and what was going on at the time the book was written, and it was written by Paul.  The 'household of Chloe' had reported some things going on that were not Christ-like in the church.  One of the phrases in the summary of the book made me stop and think.  It was this:  

"In the world of the first century, if you talked about 'living like a Corinthian,' most everyone knew exactly what you meant. It was code language for indulging in a wild and unrestrained life."

What did that mean and what did it refer to?  Corinthians were a wild and unrestrained people.  Christians were taught that they are saved by grace and righteous in Christ.  But the problem was, the Corinthians - some of them - would continue with the lifestyle of being wild and unrestrained - after they believed and accepted Jesus Christ.... and declared they could do whatever they wanted to - because they were covered by grace.

And we ARE covered by grace, but that does not give us permission to continue to sin.  We are made righteous through Jesus Christ.  When we follow Him, we make the choice to give up the sins we did before.  He has forgiven us, when we confess them to Him and ask for forgiveness, but that does not give us permission to continue doing them.  

It's like one of our children disobeying us - then apologizing for disobeying us - and go right back to doing it again.  Why?  Because they confessed it and we forgave them for doing it.  That's not how it works - as we all know.

Jesus died for each one of us, whether we accept Him and His grace or not.  It is each one's choice to do whatever they want to do.  But when we do accept Jesus as Lord, and choose to live a life worthy of Him and His grace and love and righteousness, there is a peace that passeth all understanding that flows over you.  You can deal with anything, if you have Jesus.

Speaking of books... I got an odd 'gift' from my little sister yesterday via Amazon.  In one box was a book with the gift note it was for me.  It's titled something like 'Mothers and Daughters from the Bible Speak'... I haven't heard of it, and when I asked her about it, she said she gave to her daughter-in-law for Mother's day... and since she didn't have any daughters (only two boys) that she sent it to me because I have a daughter.  Never heard of this book; haven't looked at it yet... maybe I'll sit down with it soon and see what its about.  I'm sure it is good, but she hadn't read it either so why did she send to me?  And the other book she sent me... figure this one out.

The gift note included in the box with the other book states to the effect, I lost my address book and can't find it and need addresses again.  Puzzled, I looked at a nice address book.  I asked her about it - and come to find out what she was asking me to do... was for ME to put in all the addresses of our family members so that she would have them, and send the book back to her.  So I put in our siblings addresses, and my children's addresses.  Do you not think that is an odd request?  I didn't put in my grandchildren's information, nor the children of our siblings (except for her two)... it isn't my place to give them to her.  It just seems like an odd, out of the ordinary, request.  It reminds me of one boss who will send me a document and say 'please format and align the paragraphs'.  It is something simple that they can do.  Filling in an address book, to me that is a personal thing.  Oh well.  I'll get it forwarded on to her in the next week or so.

Although I'm expecting hubby to ask if he can take me out to breakfast, I think I'm going to cook bacon and eggs this morning... and maybe pancakes on the side.   He actually laughed at me yesterday.  I fixed myself - instead of a shake like I normally do - a waffle/egg sandwich.  Yep, heated up a couple small waffles in the toaster, cooked a couple eggs on the griddle, and made a sandwich out of it.  Filled me up for the day.  An egg sandwich is always good.  With miracle whip on the toasted bread..yeah, it has just the right flavor.

2 Corinthians 2:9 (NKJV):  "But as it is written:  "Eye has not seen, nor ear heard," nor have entered in the heart of man the things which God has prepared for those who love Him."

Do you ever think of all the things God has prepared for you... and is waiting for you to receive?  Something to think about.  We have a good, good, Father.  One who loves you, and me, with an unbounding love.  Always forgiving, always loving... He is Lord of all.

Blessings!