I'm ready for the weekend to get here!

 I have nothing on the calendar for today and only an 8a training with Morgan in the morning.  I'm so ready for the weekend to get here!  I feel it's been sitting in doctor's offices has been the thing this week.  I didn't go with hubby to his cardiologist yesterday - probably should have, but didn't.  He kept pushing on me not to go, and since he hadn't had any tests and this was just a check-up, I didn't. I needed that time alone, right?  He also had a dentist appointment to get his two front teeth crowned yesterday - and I did take and drop him off and then pick him up when he was finished.  Then it was a somewhat quiet evening. I did some exercises then read - and hubby watched the ballgame and slept in his chair.  We both went to bed by 8p.  Well, the reason I did was he commented about going to bed at 8p and I just looked at him and said I was reading.... so he stayed in his chair... and I told him he could go to bed without me... but of course he wouldn't... so I went to bed as well.  And slept.  

See how interesting my life is?  It feels like anymore it is made up of work and doctor appointments. Oh well.  I just keep plugging along.  At least I'm starting to take a little time to do my exercises here at home at night.  Hinge Health is making me start on it.... I earn 'prizes' as I do their exercises.  I think it is kind of cool they 'turn the camera on' and I have to position myself within the camera range full body, and they have these green dots around my body that they can see how I am exercising with their trainer.  I'm working on my neck, shoulders, and wrists.  It's really cool.  They only do that for a couple of the exercises then they turn the camera off and continue with others.  After that, I got on the rebounder and walked for about 3/4 mile.  I like that on the rebounder I hold on to the bar and I just move my feet.  I don't bounce, I just 'walk'.  It helps keep the legs moving and strong.  I need to work on my walking too so will get on the treadmill.... October 11 I am to walk a 5K and I have a feeling it may be too hot to walk outside so will do it on my treadmill.  It's called 'Fit and Run' I think. I signed up with several at work; they will go to Gilbert or Tucson and run where the actual run is; but I chose the virtual caused I am not driving down there in that mess!  I remember one walk that hubby and my youngest son did it with me; we met my boss, Sue, there and we walked together.  Even got pictures of that day - it was raining! It was a fun time.  Now I have to walk alone - hubby won't walk, and neither will the son with me.  He only walks with his wife now when they do their trips.  But the youngest did do the 13.1 mini marathon back in.... well, the photo I have has May 25, 2020 on it - surely it wasn't only six years ago!  I do enjoy walking, and walking with others always makes it more fun, even when I don't want to talk and walk.

Ephesians 5:1 (ESV):  Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children.

When we were children, (most times) we wanted to be like our mother or father; depending on whom we were the closest to.  I loved the way my mother wrote, so I often practiced her handwriting, and I think I still, although I have developed my own style, have handwriting very similar to hers.  My little sister often says she and I have handwriting close enough that when I send her a letter, her husband will look at the envelope and wonder why she wrote herself a letter!  But I have also noticed our handwriting is similar.  No, I did not copy hers; I copied my mama's.  I know at one point a few years back my writing was getting shaky... and I realized it was because I was trying to write quickly.  So I slowed down.  Now I find I am printing or using cursive and it is not shaky but is clear and very readable.  I can remember when I was a student and the classmates would try to see how sloppy and run together their signatures could be.... but I always wanted my writing to be 'pretty'.  And it is.  Even if I say so. LOL  I can even remember taking a paper napkin that had designs on it, and teaching myself to sew (I did have a home Ec class that we did cooking one semester and then sewing (I made an apron!) the second semester), watching my stitches as I used red thread and wove it around the design.  

Come to think of it; I made my 'senior cords'.  Do you remember what those were?  They don't do that anymore, I don't think.  We took our school colors (blue and gold) and made skirts (pencil skirts, mind you) out of gold corduroy and we had people sign our skirts (or for the guys, pants)  - that was our senior year.  I wish I had kept the skirt; I don't know what happened to it.  I do remember making a gold dress for my niece (Debra) when she was two years old (my senior year).  Ok - got off track.

Who are you an imitator of?  Sometimes we admire people so much we try to be 'like them' in that we dress like them (you see that a lot with 'stars') or we wear makeup like they do.  We choose our style to 'be like' whomever we admired.

I want to imitate Jesus.  As I watch 'The Chosen' or some of the other biblical movies, I can visually see (Matthew is still a favorite movie) how He loved others.  How he went the extra mile. How He did for others.  How He not only loved, but served, others.  And that He often spent time with His Father.  I want to be like Jesus.  Who are you striving to be like?

I John 2:6 (ESV):  ......whoever says he abides in him ought to walk in the same way in which he walked.

I know I've mentioned it before.... we should walk so close to Jesus that the dust of His sandals gets all over us.

Have an amazing day; do something kind for others without expecting a thank you nor a reward.  Your reward is found in heaven.  Be Jesus' hands and feet to someone.  That might be all the kindness they get today.

Blessings!

Beating myself up for wasting time

 Time is a very valuable thing, did you know that?  Did you realize that?  We all have the same amount of minutes, seconds, hours, etc - but how are we managing them?  I have done so much wasting this week it is pathetic.  Seriously.  Caught myself scrolling again last night - and when I realize it, it is usually awhile after I started.  Frustrated about it, I quit - but then it is about time to go to bed and why start anything then?  I have got to quit the scrolling - I was doing so well there for awhile - and then I got distracted by one reel, then another.  I love the military stories where the big bad general is trying to berate a female officer and then this 'tattoo' shows on her arm and all of a sudden they realize that she is much better than they are.  I just refuse to click on 'below' to find the rest of the story.  

Today is Saturday and I have Needles of Hope this morning.  I should take the baby blankets I've finished today - and will, if I don't forget.  It's always good to get together with my women friends and catch up on life.  I skipped last month as I was on 'burnout' and hubby and I stayed at the hotel for the weekend.  I'm much better this month and really do need to get out of the house.

I'm trying to get back into walking more; preferably outside.  It's beautiful out right now and I will enjoy a long quiet walk.  I'm sure hubby will 'start' with me as he needs to walk - and I've told him to get the walking sticks I gave him a few years ago.  Surely he can go down to the corner and back without falling!  His 'recliner' body just tends to want to fall over, if you know what I mean.  I bought him a posture 'thing' - and he used it for awhile - and I have one too as I find I slump while sitting before the computer.  Another reason to get up and move around.  I pull my shoulders back and try to hold my head up.  But I find that when I walk, I always watch the ground.  Why is that? Do you do that as well?  I was told years ago to walk like someone is holding you up by your head - keep it up and look people in the eye as you walk by them.  Stand up straight.  But, with sitting before the computer, slumping seems to come naturally.  

So how about going on a journey with me - a journey in which you get outside and walk at least 30 minutes a day?  So what if they are slow steps!  So what if you break it into 10 minute increments!  Get out and breathe air!  Talk some steps and get the body moving!  I'm so tired of being cooped up in this house 24x7.  Or so it feels like.  Maybe I'm just 'tired' of it all?  I'm getting out this morning, and I need to run by and see Ms. Diane today. If I come home first, I will have every excuse not to leave again.  So I definitely need to go see her today before I come back home.  It's been over a month!  Then I need to stop by and see Ms. Vicky tonight, I guess.  Then I'm good for awhile. LOL I do enjoy visiting them, and I feel guilty when I don't since they are alone all the time.  I'm sure I would want company even for an hour if I was alone all the time.  But then again, I do other things rather than just sit and watch TV like they both do.  Ms. Diane because she can no longer walk and that is where they put her - and Ms. Vicky, because what else is there?  She does get out some, but when home, it's the TV and I hear she is lonely.  I bought her a magnifying book light so she could read (she has some eye disease) but haven't heard how that is going yet.  

I could use another cup of coffee this morning, but I'll get a second cup when I join my friends at Panera.  And, since I decided to 'quit' the fast yesterday (and yes, I did eat the snickers in the freezer), I will get an egg sandwich to go with the coffee.  I just felt 'released from the fast, even though I only had to Monday to go.  I think I'm just tired.  Hubby 'had' to take me out to dinner since I told him I stopped the fast - and I got fried cod with a baked potato and a salad.  Not bad, right?  Couldn't eat it all.   Hubby asked if I wanted my butter pecan ice cream afterwards - but I told him no.  I was still full from dinner.  Just because it is in the freezer doesn't mean it needs to be eaten now, right?

When was the last time you sat down and just asked God - "What path do You want me to take?  Show me and I will go that way."?  You know me and my angst about retirement.  Hubby 'finally' gave me 'permission' to retire if I wanted to.  I chose November 20th as my retirement date - end of a payroll period and before the holidays where I can enjoy the holidays instead of working around them. You know what I mean.  And I thought I could 'squirrel' away what I will be losing if I do... but I'm finding it isn't as easy as I thought it would be.  Perhaps it is because some of the the bills I have to pay are some that will go away once I retire - i.e., my gym training MAY be one of them.  But then, if I stop eating out twice a week, that would pay for the gym.  So what do I want the most, right?  I keep wishing the company would offer early retirement packages like they have before.... only when they do that, the job also goes away and isn't replaced - and my position isn't one that can 'go away' so my resignation would not be accepted with the retirement package.  But it would be nice to get a lump sum to retire.  Again.  I just need to tell hubby 'NO' and be firm about it.  And I need to cook more.  I can cut back on groceries by finding the recipes I plan to cook that week and buying only what I need for that meal.  Like, what I do now is just go down the grocery aisles and 'I can use this for ....' and 'I may make that...' or 'I remember a recipe that had that in it...'  and I buy all that - and then they sit in the refrigerator (until they spoil and I throw away) or sit int he pantry.  I need to be more purposeful.  I need to prep and plan ahead and get the recipes set for the week - right?  There are people who do that on a regular basis.  It has just never been me.  A challenge perhaps?

See how easy that was for me to get my thoughts going elsewhere?  From talking with God about what does He want me to do - to talking about grocery shopping, recipes, and cooking!  Sigh. I need to get away and quit thinking about life for awhile.  Clear my head of all distractions.  But to do that - need to be away from my biggest distraction.  And you know that won't happen for any length of time. "it is what it is" - right?  

And with all my rambling this morning, I need to stop and get off the computer.  Time to get ready to head out to Panera and meet up with my friends.  I want to bake this afternoon.  Hubby and I both have doctor appointments Monday afternoon so I took the day off work.  I had promised them a basket of goodies before Christmas - and never delivered.  I want to take them cookies, brownies, etc. as a 'belated' Christmas gift.  By baking this weekend, at least they will be fresh.  There are two women who work in the office and our doctor - so for three people it won't be too much.  

And I still need to get off the computer before another distracting thought hits.  Hope that you have an amazing day and ... be kind to someone today; do good for them.  You will be blessed if you do.

Blessings!

My body has hurts....

 After church, after lunch, I decided I needed to get on my treadmill and get my 3.1 miles in for the Fit & Run that I had signed up for with the company.  It benefits MD Anderson Cancer Center.  I didn't want to drive downtown so did it at home. All I had to do was take a photo on my watch, showing that I had completed the walk/run.  Now I need to figure out how I submit it to prove I did do it.  I should get the t-shirt soon. :-)   I did walk the 3.1 miles on the treadmill.  Now I don't 'sweat'; I 'glisten', as a rule.  But it was so warm in that back part of the house, with the fan on, that my t-shirt was soaked.  Good, maybe I got some toxins out of my body, right?  This would be a good time to move the little fan I have to the back room so that I can walk the treadmill without sweating up a storm.  I didn't mind the 'walk' at all; I put the computer in front of me, found a movie on Amazon Prime, and watched it as I walked.  Made the time go by a lot quicker!

And, because I did walk the 3.1 (+) miles, my legs are telling me they walked much further than they have in a long time.  Should be interesting tonight as I am scheduled to do leg work.  I wonder if I can move about enough today to loosen them up. Or maybe I should ask to switch to core tonight and save my legs to Wednesday. Will see how the day goes.  I do need to start getting on the treadmill or the rebounder daily and keep the body moving.  I sit all day, and most of the time, all evening as well.  Need to keep moving to keep limber.

I kept telling myself I SHOULD go visit Ms. Diane; I SHOULD go visit Ms. Vicky - but I did neither.  A granddaughter was to come by to pick up something and I stayed at home, waiting on her. After a while, I figured she forgot, but I did not call her.  Eventually, she did text that she forgot, so we will try to connect sometime today.  Hubby finished watching the football game (which was lost in the last two minutes) and then watched a movie.  

Today I'm back to work and will need to take off this afternoon to go with hubby to his doctor's appointment.  This is the oncologist - we will actually be meeting with his assistant, who is much nicer and listens to you.  I haven't met her before, but hubby has.  So we will push through with the rest for the PET scan.  She will have to ask the doctor of course.  And I need to remember to make a copy of the blood work that Dr. Mark wants him to see that shows the liver and kidneys are affected.  If he refuses to order the PET scan, I'm not sure what the next step is.  I think Dr. Mark said we'd go to the kidney doctor and ask for a CT with contrast - and how we can work around the contrast part because it will affect the kidneys, which are already inflamed.  My fear?  The cancer from the prostate has spread to the liver and kidneys.  He's not 'feeling it' now, other than occasionally not feeling good, but not able to identify why. That is why we need the PET scan - to find out what is going on.  There is inflammation; but where is it coming from...

Wow - I just had a big fear! LOL  I don't know what I was thinking... but I hit the plus button on the tab at the top - and nearly lost this post. Not that it is a big deal, but I don't know if I could think that much again this morning. ;)  But - I did find it and it had saved as a draft, although I had not saved it (yet).  Lucky you, huh? You have something to read.

Psalm 51:12 (NKJV):  Restore to me the joy of Your salvation, and uphold me by Your generous Spirit.

Want to know why so many people are so unhappy?  They have sinned against God and refuse to confess it. The above scripture, the entire psalm 51, is David's lament to God when he confessed his sin of adultery with Bathsheba and murder of her husband to cover his sin.  When David confessed his sin with deep remorse, he asked God to restore to him the joy of His salvation.  There have been times when I have felt so burdened about something I shouldn't have done (or said) that I felt my joy had been sucked out of me.  I've mentioned it a few times I think over the years, how I feel the joy of life has been sucked out of me at times.  Usually it isn't for something I did, but my attitude towards what is going on.  Anyway - you want to have joy in your heart, in your life?  

Choose Jesus.  Confess your heart to Him, and ask Him to restore to you the joy of His salvation.  He will, you know.  You will find your heart feels so much lighter and there is peace within you.  "Try it, you'll like it!"

When times are tough, I have learned to sing the song 'The Joy of the Lord is my Strength'.  Do you remember that song?  If you grew up in a church like mine, you probably do.  You know, 'the Joy of the Lord is my strength! The joy of the Lord, is my strength!, The joy of the Lord is my strength! The joy of the Lord is my strength!'  That is a very hard song to learn - haha.  I can remember when I had a very difficult director who would literally scream at me and slam her hand on her desk at me - and I would just stand there and smile at her - which drove her crazy.  Then I would take a short walk, singing all the way 'The joy of the Lord is my strength'.  It works, try it. It does make life better.

And, yes, this is short today - but I am drawing a blank as to what to write today.  My youngest went to Maine yesterday; I think he said last night he was heading to Boston and New York City today.  

Hope you have a good day.  Do something good for yourself today.  Be kind to yourself. Talk well of yourself.  Find joy.

Blessings!

I see it more and more

 My oldest son made a comment recently about something I had written and I, for some reason, cannot get it out of my mind.  I think it is because I see it more and more in conversations.  I was talking with my trainer about it last night, and she agreed with me about what was said.  Or rather, she agreed with my son. I knew this, but I had ignored it.  It was easier to just do what was asked, and yet, I realize I was playing into their hands. On to another subject.

I talked with my little sister yesterday.  She didn't take her laptop to Florida with her because she 'forgot it'.  Ok. Obviously she doesn't use it much.  But she said they had a printer in the airbnb they rent so asked if I would type out and send to her a short note, and she will print it.  Before she leaves for home, she makes up a few bags of things to give to the homeless and they drive to where they are and she hands them bags.  She wants a note put in the bags that just says something like 'Dear Child, I want you to know it's not too late for you to come back to me. Love, God.'  She asked me to type it and send as an attachment, and she would print it to put in the bag.  

Now, I get your thinking on this.  What a silly thing to ask me.  It's only one sentence, so why not just hand write it on a piece of paper and put in the bag?   And that is what I told her this morning. I sent her an email and told her how she can type it out herself on her phone or hand write it out.  I'm still shaking my head as to such a silly thing she is asking of me.   I look back and I see how lazy and dependent upon others she has become.  Especially upon me.  She even made a comment about my still working, how she would trade places with me and I could retire.  But she uses her husband as an excuse as to why she cannot work.  She will put applications in, and when they call for an interview, she makes all kinds of excuses as to why she can't work.  It's her husband's sickness.  He's been sick for ten years and isn't going to get any better - because neither of them want to! It was her choice to retire when she did, although she blames it on her husband.  But she has been out of the business world for about 15 years now, I think, and I don't think she has the abilities she had before to learn how to do things.  Ok - off my soapbox. 

But I will say, that when I DO retire - whenever that may be - I will not be sitting around asking people to do things for me and take care of me.  I'm a big girl and I can take care of myself.  I'll bury myself in playing at first, but once I settle down, I will volunteer and do things that I enjoy doing.  I will take long walks. I will make new friends.  I will enjoy life.  Does that make sense?  I will not hibernate and whine about how miserable I am at what life has dealt me.  I will seek God more and be ready and willing to do whatever He has for me.  In the meantime, I will keep working. Even though I gripe and complain about that.  I actually just need quality time off work and get my life back in order, right?  After a few days off work I am usually ready to go back to work!  Just taking last Friday off refreshed me.  And in April I have time scheduled off already as well.  So looking forward to Jailbreak!

Matthew 11:28 (NKJV):  Come to me, all you who labor and are heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.

I actually got out and walked twice yesterday.  But because I didn't walk much on Saturday, I fell to 3rd place on Sunday, and last night I was in 4th place out of ten walkers on my team.  Yes, it is my team, which is why I am trying hard to get steps in.  It felt so good to get out and walk freely yesterday. Hubby doesn't even pretend to want to go out and walk, but will moan that he doesn't know why he can't walk very far before he is exhausted, although he can ride 3-4 miles on the bike at the gym.  I don't understand it either, but I think it is more 'want to' than 'can't'.  What do you think?  Yes, I will admit that at times I push myself too much and exhaust myself.  But, I love moving and keeping busy.  I refuse to let life slow me down.  I can always be doing something, helping myself or helping others.  God didn't create me to sit on a chair and whine about my choices, my life.  And He didn't create you to do that as well.

Some of us need to learn to celebrate life.  It's a gift given to us.  What we do with our lives is our gift back to God.  I want to give Him a good gift, don't you?

I am feeling like I need to fast this morning over a family situation.  It's time for someone to put their big pants on and stand up.  Yes, that is my opinion.  I'm not always right.... but God is.  So I am going to fast and pray for this person, that God will intervene in this situation and slap them in the head to make them see what everyone else sees, and quit complaining about their lot in life, which is a result of their choices.  They have a choice now.  Live their life, or be buried in someone else's.  Fight the good fight - and you will win. It won't be easy. It will be painful. It will be a struggle. But you can also be an overcomer - if you choose.  

And we all have that choice - to overcome the situations we find ourselves in.  Then you need to make a decision about what is important to you.  What is the most important thing to you?  Think about that.

I need to get ready for work.... and I have a dentist appointment this afternoon. Oh joy.  I dread the shots - they hurt! But, a necessary part of life, I guess.  Hope you have an amazing, fulfilled, and life-lived day!

Blessings!

There is a verse...

 in the Bible that a friend had paraphrased many years ago and that paraphrase had stuck with me for many years.  I often pray that prayer, cause I don't know what to do.  This morning, as I pondered on what to write, the words came back to my mind.

"Cause me to know the way wherein I should walk; for I trust in You."

So this morning, once again, I go looking for the actual verse.  I may have even been saying it wrong for years from what was paraphrased, but some times things just stick in your mind.  I am always praying for direction, for help in making the right choices.  Sometimes I choose rightly, other times, well, I have God's grace for my mistakes.

Psalm 143:8 (NKJV):  "Cause me to hear Your lovingkindness in the morning, for in You do I trust; Cause me to know the way in which I should walk, for I lift up my soul to You."

Have you gotten up some mornings and you had no clue what you would be doing, or how your day would be going  - once it started going?  There is nothing on the agenda for you to do; there are no plans.  I find that if I pray this verse, it is amazing what God will do in my life that day.  My prayer then changes to 'let me be aware of what You are doing in me and through me today, Lord."

Yesterday was a good day.  I had a wonderful breakfast with my son.  It did my heart good to sit with him for a spell and hear what is going on in his life and in his family's life.  He shared he buys dill pickle juice for leg cramps - I got excited!  I didn't know you could buy just the juice - and when he sent the link - yep - I bought a gallon!  We drink tonic water for leg cramp prevention - but I love dill pickle juice, so yeah, think I'm switching.  Hubby can drink the tonic water!  The dill pickle juice could help my salt cravings too, I imagine.

Coming home, I found baby wrapping paper in a cabinet in the garage (yay!) so got things wrapped up for the granddaughter's shower.  We went over there and I am grateful a few of her friends came as well as an Army family contact person.  It was a nice shower and she got some nice things.  The baby won't wear out any of the oneies as there were about 20 I think and they are all small!  

Sigh.  One of her brothers came down to go to a concert last night... and he was already '10 sheets to the wind'.  He staggered around the room and was loud and obnoxious.  I tried to talk with him and got lots of 'yes ma'am'... but I knew he wasn't listening... in the mental state he was in, he wasn't hearing anyone. I was so disappointed he arrived that way.  He couldn't even keep his eyes open.  I can only trust he made it back to the hotel last night.  Lord, please hear my prayers for this child.  Rescue him from himself.

We plan to go to church this morning and when I get home, I plan to make taco soup and take some over to Ms. Diane.  I found out yesterday that Ms. Amy did get admitted to the hospital.  Probably at her daughter's insistence, versus having the need.  I still can't get over how the daughter behaved - she was in a tizzy - and I don't understand why ... but it isn't for me to judge.  Perhaps the doctors/hospital needed the demand for her to be admitted to 'find out what is wrong'.  My thought was she had a stroke a week ago; she got an implant (pacemaker?) put in her chest while she was there... give her body time to respond and heal... she will be weak.  Right?  I'll call the daughter later today to find out what is going on.  She was nearly a 'Karen' with her demands!  LOL

So what are your plans for today?  Rest?  Reading?  Relaxation?   Why not take a few moments and start your day off right and pray with me the verse above?  

"Cause me to hear Your lovingkindness in the morning, for in You do I trust; Cause me to know the way in which I should walk, for I lift up my soul to You."

That is my prayer... God loves each of us so much that He wants us to trust Him for whatever comes at us today.  We need His help to get through each day.  When we wait on Him, He will surely guide us. 

I Peter 5:6-7 (NKJV):  "Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you."

II Peter 3:18 (NKJV):  "but grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ; to Him be the glory both now and forever. Amen."

What do you know about Jesus?  If your child or grandchild asked you about Jesus, could you give an answer that would help them to know Jesus?  Do you know about Jesus that you could share with those you love His wonderful Word?  Something to think about.

Blessings!

The weekend is here.....

 and I'm so glad to be able to not have to keep an eye on the clock, checking to see if it is time for me to get on the work computer.  Yesterday was a very long day as not much was happening at work.  Several people had taken the day off and other than a couple meetings to schedule, and chatting with my bosses a couple times, they were quiet.  In fact, one shut down at 2PM, and the other was finished with her meetings at 3PM.  We had pretty much cleared her calendar for the day cause she was babysitting a couple grandchildren for the day as well.  The advantage of working from home.  I did get a mandatory training out of the way, but other than that, didn't do much work wise.  Hubby did ask me to go pick up a prescription for him, which I did.  Still puzzled why he asked me to go get it instead of getting it himself.  He had gone to breakfast (for three hours!) with a friend... can't figure out why he asked me to go get it.  Did he want me out of the house for a reason?  I don't know!

I'm having difficulty this morning getting comfortable in my chair... my arthritis in my neck is bothering me too, but I'll get over it.  I need to do my stretching yet this morning and that will help with it.  Just feel antsy this morning for some reason.  Can't sit still and be comfortable.  Wonder what is going on that I feel this way.  Woke up at 4:30AM - on a Saturday.  Usually it's at least 5AM.  I love that I have a bit over an hour yet before hubby will come to 'check up' on me cause I haven't come out of my room.  I heard him shaving earlier... I am guessing he will offer to take me for breakfast.  He does love to eat, especially breakfast.  Me, I'm not so big on breakfast, although I can eat it.  I'll fix up my fried potatoes with the eggs and jalapenos and onions - and we have bacon - so why go out and pay someone to cook it, serve it, to us? I'm much more comfortable eating at home... and I don't have to deal with everyone else wanting to go out.  Now if we were meeting others, that's different.  I enjoy that.  But, just for us, it's just routine.

I did get some walking in this week, although not much.  I know hubby has gotten on the treadmill a couple times too.  It's just hard for me to 'work out' with him at home.  I don't need his questions - and I know it's just me - 'how long did you walk?  how far did you walk? how fast did you walk?'  Ok - maybe he won't ask how fast, but still.... you get the general idea.  I KNOW I need to walk.  I KNOW I need to exercise.  It's all on me.  I'll do it in my time, my way.  sigh.

Don't have much planned for today - I am hoping to straighten up this room.  I've got stuff on the bed again and I need to put it away.  My youngest granddaughter will be coming over to stay the weekend in a couple weeks.  I want to take her to Savers to buy baby clothes, and she can help herself to these blankets that I've already made.  That will get some of this 'stuff' out of here.  I ought to clean out drawers and even my closet.  I ought....

Romans 12:15 (NKJV):  "Rejoice with those who rejoice; and weep with those who weep."

Being Memorial weekend, that scripture could have lots of meanings.  True, Memorial Day was created for those who fought for our country and did not make it back home.  But it has come over the years to remembering everyone who has passed on.  I, too, think of those I love who has passed on.  And sometimes in my sorrow of my loss, I do weep.  I weep for my children and grandchildren who did not get to know their generations past.  I weep for myself, because I miss certain ones, more so than others.  I grieve in my heart that things didn't turn out differently, or so many things go through my mind this morning.  

Oh I can rejoice that my children did get to know their grandparents.  And feel sad that most of the grandchildren have no memories.  It is my - and my children's - responsibility to be sure their children know who their grandparents and great-grandparents were - not just by name.  I truly hope my children will share with their children things about their dad that his memory will be passed on down.  I hope they write down and keep their thoughts about him close enough that they can share freely.  I try to remember things and post on here, hoping they will know that overall, their dad was a good man.  Our choices were made because we were both naive.  Not because we didn't love each other, for we did, even to the end.  We were still just kids, and not having an example to follow, well... things happened. Oh how I wish it had ended differently.  But then, if it had, I wouldn't have the wonderful and adoreable grandchildren - and great grandchildren - that I do now.

Ah, my thoughts are going back in time so it's time to close this off.   Be sensitive to those who are sorrowful at their loss; and rejoice with those who choose joy.  It's easy to say, when it isn't us.  But I wish you joy throughout the hard times, that you will know Jesus is always near, and is always in control, no matter what our choices are.  He will bring good from even the bad choices.  He always has; He always will.

Blessings!

Some things need to remain in draft form...

 Yeah... I just wrote some things that I decided not to 'publish'.  It wasn't anything bad... not at all... but just my thoughts about a conversation I had with hubby last night.  Or rather, he had with me.  I think, for the first time, that he has realized he is older than his friends and that they are living life, while he sits in his recliner.  His body isn't as strong as it used to be.  He's gained some weight.  (as I have)  He has no outside interests.  He has a bad shoulder that he has used as an excuse for years for not doing things..... and now he really has a bad shoulder and can't do things.  And his friends are.  And it is hurting him to be left out.  And feels alone.

I get it.  But in spite of my 'nagging' over the years to work out (do as I say, not as I do) as he used to, do some hiking (which he does not enjoy), do some serious walking (just got back into it and now he's up to a mile)... get involved with other men in activities....  hubby has lost not only time, but his body has lost the ability to do a lot of things.  I think he just realized it last night.  

That and he is terrified of going to the vascular doctor today (which totally surprised me), afraid he will have to go in to the hospital for surgery.  I am at a loss as to what to say and what to do.  So I pray... I even suggested he contact our former pastor, with whom he still meets up with occasionally, to talk about his feelings.  And then his phone dinged... and who is it but that former pastor asking if hubby can meet up with him Thursday or Friday this week.  (Is that not God or what!)  I had just said it when his phone dinged!   So he will meet with him Friday afternoon.

I know I need to get more active as well.  When my grandchildren were younger, it was easy to play with them and be involved in things.  But they have grown up and have their own activities.  I still get my baking time at Christmas... but that isn't being active.  I miss having them near me.  But they also have their own lives.  And the reality that I am also getting older hits.

But I refuse to grow up.  I may not be as active as I used to be... and I need to 'up the ante' on that... I even asked hubby to get my hiking boots for Christmas (mainly because there is nothing I need and I would like to do easy hikes again.  I enjoy putting my body to the test.  But I need to hit the gym again a few months before attempting it.  There are things that I would still like to do.  If I wasn't working, I could take the long walks.... I'd just have to get someone to go with me as hubby is afraid someone just might kidnap me.  sigh.  

I think I'm more afraid that with my restrictions, if I should ever get the opportunity to live life... I won't be able to.  And maybe I'm not supposed to.

I need a challenge; someone who is serious about walking and eating healthy.  I could probably ask someone to walk that journey with me, but the friends I have are not close by and it is easy to fall by the way side when no one is walking it with you.  Know what I mean?  

If you know someone will meet you at the gym to work out, then you will be there because you know they will be.  If you plan to meet someone to walk at a certain time, you won't not go, you would show up and walk.  I think that is the way God planned it - He doesn't want anyone to be alone, but to walk with a friend this journey in life.

When one falls, the other can pick them up.  Sometimes it could be literally, right?  Especially as we have gotten older.  I miss being around younger people.  They breathe life into me.  I am encouraged that I can do things that I have forgotten I can do.

Sounds like I need to make a lifestyle change.  It won't be easy.  I have restrictions on what I can and cannot do.  I need to step out.  And I'm sure some of you do too.  Let's do it together.  Getting older and being sick and weak is no fun.  That is not living life.  That is surviving each day.  I don't want anyone to 'take care of me' when I am older because I was too lazy to take care of me now.

Join me on this journey of increasing strength?

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 (NKJV)  "Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor.  For if they fall, one will lift up his companion.  But woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up."

Be that friend.... or find one for yourself..... walk the journey.  Live life.

Blessings!

A nice weekend

 Our speaking engagements have started back up for the winter season and yesterday was our first one at the RV park here in town.  It was so good to see 'old friends' and meet some new people.  I spoke yesterday and I was told that they were going to honor our veterans who attend there.  So I tried to make the message on how to treat our veterans.  Actually, there were four points.  1) Remember them.  Remember their service and their sacrifice of leaving family and friends to serve our country.  2) Honor them by thanking them for serving.  3) Learn from their example.  They stood for what they believed in.  4) Pray for them.  Pray for their families.  If they are still serving, pray for their protection.  If they are home, pray for restoration.  Sometimes the time away from loved ones and the things they have seen can cause great distress.

Overall, it was a good morning with getting to see everyone, although there were only about 70 people there.  I speak again next week because this week was a 'fill-in' for someone who couldn't get to the RV park in time.  I'm ok with it; I get paid and it pays for Christmas.   

A friend text'd me last week that she and her hubby had sold their house and had bought a fifth wheel to travel in, staying at different RV parks.  This month they are at the RV park just north of town, where we speak as well.  Unfortunately, we won't be up there until December, so we are going to try and meet up for dinner one night while they are near our side of town.  I don't know where they will go next, it sounds like they are just going to 'move' month by month.  It's a way to make new friends, but I don't know that I could live like that.  I like being settled in and having a home base.

Hubby is doing well since his few days in the hospital.  It is amusing at times how he 'has to' follow doctor orders to a 'T'.  We started walking last week; but he could only go a block (up one side a little ways and then back to the house) because the doctor said to start slowing.  I'm not knocking what the doctor said; at least hubby let me continue on and walk the route I used to take Sheeba.  He has asked if we can go again this morning (why does he need me?) and I told him I'd be ready to walk about 6:15AM.  I told my boss last week that there will be some days that I will start work later than 7AM as I will be out walking.  She walks with her hubby nearly every day - they do a few miles though and do some hiking as well.  She jumps on and sees what her day is like and then may not get back online until 7:30-8AM - and that's ok - cause she is one of the bosses. :-)  she knows I don't abuse my time away from the desk and even jump on evenings (as I did when hubby was in the hospital and I was away with him during the day).  I don't have to track my hours since I am exempt, but I need to put in as close to 8 hours a day for my own conscience.  I sometimes will even jump online over the weekend, if I have things to get done.

It's hard to believe this year is quickly coming to an end.  Thanksgiving will be in a few more weeks and then Christmas is right around the corner.  I love the holidays and gathering with family.  I love the hustle and bustle of cooking and planning and wrapping and unwrapping - all of it.  Yes, it can get chaotic and crazy at times, but it does my heart good.   Some day, I believe that each of my children will come to enjoy the craziness of it all as well.   Especially with grandchildren involved.  It's hard to believe our youngest great-granddaughter will turn one this month.

But as busy as this season gets, we need to keep our focus on what is going on.  Thanksgiving - a time of being thankful for all that God gives us - which I will elaborate on closer to Thanksgiving..... and Christmas... which is more than just about Santa Claus.  Yeah, I will elaborate on that next month. 

But the great of all - something that we all should be thankful for, and celebrate as well, is that God loves us so much, that He gave His one and only Son for us - that He should be brutally beaten and placed on a cross to die for us.  He crawled to the cross (if you think about it) because in spite of everything, if He didn't make it to the cross, would His death have made any difference?  He took all of our sins - not just one or two of them - but all of them, and they were nailed to the cross.  We are clothed in His robes of righteousness.   Jesus is our One and Only, the One who loves you more than you can ever imagine.  Who forgives unconditionally.  Who sets the captives free.  Who restores life and freedom.  Jesus.  Our Savior.  Our Lord.  

Yeah, He loves each of us that much.

Have a good day.

I took a deep breath... and did it.

Have you ever had those "I don't wanna!!" feelings?  I do, more frequently than I care to admit.  Even after talking yesterday about doing this walking challenge to just walk a mile a day (and being the person I am, I want to do more... lots more than what is asked).... I struggled to get myself on the treadmill yesterday.  

But.I.did.it.   Twice!  Well, I do get two breaks a day from work. I did take the two breaks.  The first time on the treadmill wasn't bad.  I pushed through the 15 minutes and got some walking done.  The afternoon break was a lot harder to take.  Not that I was busy.... I just didn't want to do it.  But I did.  And it wasn't so bad after all.

Sometimes we have to take that big step of doing something, regardless of what we feel. But then, we also need to be sure of what we are feeling.  I know that walking is good for me.  Obviously, I can't do much else.  It challenges me to go a little further each time I focus on that walk.  And I always benefit from it.  So why do I find it such a struggle?

Because I have to apply myself to complete it.  I have to choose to make myself uncomfortable so that I can build the strength I want to have in my body.  I have to keep myself healthy and strong, I have to work so I need to keep my mind clear and focused.  Getting away from the desk and walking allows me time to think about other things. To process things.  To talk to God and ask Him, "is this of You, Lord? or should I think of other things?"

I had a photo taken of me last night with one of the grandsons who is moving out of state, being part of the military now.  He has been taking care of things we needed done around here and we have gotten close.  I will - we will - truly miss him being around.  But the photo, it would have been a good photo... well, it IS a good photo... but I am going to crop it.  Like cut the belly out.  UGH.  See, that is something I am so self-conscious of and it is up to me to do something about it.

So walking is going to have to become a priority for me - whether I like it or not!  In reality, I do enjoy walking.... but I have just gotten out of the continuous habit this past year.  I sit all day behind the desk.  Ok, - enough about that.  I just have to do it.  End of story.

LOL.  Looking for something profound to write.... I thought I'd check my Fitbit steps yesterday.  A message pops up:  "Research shows adding 2 minutes of walking for each hour you sit during the day may be linked with a life expectancy. A 2-3 minute walk = 250 steps.  Set a goal."  

I know I can not do anything by myself.  Oh sure, it does take me doing something - usually 'by myself' - to get it done, but I am never alone.  And neither are you.

Have a tough decision to make?  After getting all the information you need to make that decision, lay it out before God.  Ask Him what you should do.  Do you jump into the challenge with excitement or dread?  If it doesn't bring you joy in the thought of it, then perhaps that isn't what you are to do.  Does it stir something creative within you?  A desire to succeed?  If not, then it may be God's way of saying, "no, not now".  But what if.... you don't feel anything... or your feel dread... identify if it is fear of NOT succeeding (I definitely know that feeling!) .

You have value.  Whether it is fear of the unknown that holds you back from stepping out in faith, or you just don't want to do it, only you can determine that.  But remember, God doesn't make junk and He is ultimately in charge of your future, whether you allow Him to be or not.  He allows you to make choices - good and bad.

The Bible says "I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me."  YOU can do ALL things.  It's always flattering when someone says they want you for something.  (see, the VALUE you are)  

I always go back to Philippians 4:6-7  

(NIV) "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus."

But I like the NLT version better....sometimes....

(NLT)  "Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything.  Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.  Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus."

So you think you don't believe in God?  Test Him in this.  Talk to Him and lay your life out before Him.  Seek His forgiveness, His direction, and trust His Word that says:

Psalm 103:12 - (NLT) "He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west."

Your life, your challenges, your decisions, are all in His hands... trust Him.  He will walk through life with you, all the way, when you ask Him to.

Blessings!

Walking and Talking

This morning my daughter and I went for an early morning 5.5 miles walk.  As we went around 5:30 this morning, the air was still 'somewhat' cool (as cool as it can be in Phoenix in July in the early morning) and it was a good time to walk.

As we were walking and sharing with each other, I realized how nice it is that we both are physically able to get out and walk.  There are so many people who can not - or will not.  Those that WILL NOT come up with all kinds of excuses why they can't walk.  "It's too hot" or "I'm so tired" or "It's too early" or "___________".   (Fill in the blank if it applies to you)

Mary and I were able to catch up on what is going on in our lives.  (Yes, it's true, my daughter and I do NOT talk every day - sometimes it can be a week or more!)   It is so refreshing to listen and to have that 1:1 time with each other.  (Yes, boys, I would love to have 1:1 time with you - and I won't make you walk, but it would be nice!  When do you want to meet?)  Sometimes we don't even talk - we just walk.  We even saw a bunny this morning!

When was the last time you got up and took a walk outside to feel the coolness of the early morning, or to listen to the birds chirping as the morning begins?   To enjoy the quietness of the day, before all the busyness starts?  To realize all the beauty around you that God has made - just for you to enjoy?

I encourage you to plan a morning soon that you can just 'be quiet' and slip out into the coolness of the day, to enjoy the beauty our Heavenly Father has designed for you.  Ask a relative or close friend to walk around the block with you.  Yeah, 5:30AM is early, but I am willing to spend it with my daughter and enjoy the time together.  You will find you enjoy it too.  What a way to start the day!

Get up out of that bed - or out of that soft chair - and step out - and praise God you have the ability to get out and enjoy the things He has made.  God is so good.

Blessings!