I did check off one

 One thing that I had on my list of things to do for yesterday.  I sorted through SOME of my yarn.  I boxed up a bit, but arranged on my shelves by color.  Because I get the 'leftovers' of yarn that are donated at Needles of Hope, many skeins and bits of yarn that I get are just one color, rather than several to make something.  I often then end up 'mix and match' colors.  I try to get the same brand-type so that they feel the same, but it's hard to do at times.  Did you know that yarn has different textures?  Some are so soft, others feel 'harsh'.  You buy that yarn for what you want to make from it.  Sometimes when it's on sale, you buy it without knowing what you will do with it.  Yeah, I have done that.  But I do try to use it.  Found I have a lot more purple then I thought I did.  Guess I will be making purple baby blankets for awhile.  And that's ok.   I had two partial skeins of black/white so was able to use up both of them in a baby blanket last night.  It didn't come out to the size of a blanket so I will finish it up with solid black.  It will still look good.  But I did get the yarn straightened out to see what I had - at least the majority of it.  I still have an orange skein (not something I would have bought!) still in a big tangled mess and am still working through it to get it rolled up.

Finished a book I started the other day last night as well.  I think that gives me 3 or 4 thus far. I've got to keep focused and spend time reading as well as crocheting.  I enjoy both.  Still need to work on the baby quilts too.  I think I have figure out how I'm going to secure the batting to the material - finally.  I've tried sewing strips, I've tried specific spots - but just not feeling it.  I'll take the easy (yet, hard) way out and do it with yarn knots.  My fingers will be hurting with this one.  Still, I need to get them done.

I'm learning to be very creative with meals with this new eating.  I will confess, I cheated yesterday.  I am a stress eater; and when I'm upset, I want to eat.  Yesterday was not a good day.  Or rather, last night.  I was 'good' throughout the day; hubby left me alone and I worked with my yarn.  But then... sigh.  I'm trying to complete a form on my phone (registering for an upcoming women's conference) and he comes into the kitchen and sits down (dinner is cooking so of course he comes and sits down) next to me and starts talking to me.  He asks me questions about what are we having and how many carbs, etc. as he is trying to follow along with me on not eating so many carbs.  I stop and answer him 3-4 times before I (obviously) have this look of irritation on my face as I still try to input the information needed to register. Then he gets after me because I have a scowl on my face.  He can see I'm doing something on my phone and he keeps interrupting me to ask questions that he can see what the food is when I take it out of the oven!!   Did it have to be done BEFORE it is even ready?  I guess because I had been busy all day he didn't have anyone to talk to (with) so was trying to make up for it.  We didn't speak much the rest of the evening.  He's one of 'those people' who has to have your complete attention when he is speaking.  I finally did get registered and then I got the 'you never told me about the conference, who is going with you, when is it, etc.  Sigh.  It's not until the end of March.  I know I want to go; I don't know who would go with me, if anyone. Yes, it's in town.  I.DON'T.KNOW.ALL.THE.ANSWERS.  I just registered!!  I'm sure I will be telling him about it long before it happens.  I just wanted to get registered.  I am feeling controlled and smothered.

That scenario sort of reminds me of the message I will be doing this morning for the RV Park.  Yes, I finally got it completed last Tuesday and have reviewed it, changed it, reprinted it, since then.  I have already gone through it this morning and I think I'm ok with it.  If something changes my mind, I'll figure it out.  But the message is about 'are you listening (to God).  When God speaks, He wants our undivided attention, you think?  Have you heard God speak to you?  Can you sit back and think of the time(s) He has spoken and you paid attention?  I do.  One of the stories I am telling this morning is when, many, many years ago I was up early doing my quiet time.  Now, my quiet time then and now are not quite the same, and I want to go back to before I started inserting time to type in here (could you handle an occasional post versus every day?).  Back then I feel I was more focused on God and reading several chapters in my Bible, writing in my journal, praying long prayers, and even had a listening time when I would just sit and listen for God to speak.  I miss those days and I'm working now to gain them back.  I really am.  I'm slowly eliminating some things so that I can give God all my morning quiet time, not just a portion of it.  Anyway, I was praying, and this one day I was praying for my little sister.  She was single then (I told you it was a long time ago) and had two small boys.  I don't recall what I was praying about, but I heard God tell me, "Send xxxxx $20."  What?  I paused and thought about it.  Yes, I knew she could use money, but so could we.  I had $30 in my wallet.  Well, I wanted to be obedient, so I took $20 out of my wallet, wrote my sister a note that God had told me to send her $20, and mailed it.  A couple days later she received it and thinking it was a letter from me, (before we had computers), she opened it and the $20 fell out.  She called me; she had a prescription at the drug store that was $20 and she didn't have the money to get it, and had prayed that God would somehow provide it.  And He Did.  And she was able to show her boys that God does answer prayers.  What if I hadn't listened?  Well, God would have provided in another way, through someone else, but He let me be her answer to prayer.  Isn't God so cool?  

I don't always 'hear' God, I will admit. Sometimes He may tell me to do something I don't want to do and it is so easy to ignore Him.  But He does speak in different ways.  He speaks through our minds and hearts via nudges, or we can even hear Him speak. Not audibly, but you know it is Him.  He also speaks through circumstances. He speaks through people.  He also speaks through His Word.  And sometimes He speaks through dreams.  But the question remains - Are you listening?  

 Deuteronomy 13:4 (NLT):  Serve only the Lord your God and fear him alone.  Obey his commands, listen to his voice, and cling to him.

I am sure that I have responded to God's nudges or words at other times, but at the moment, that is the one that has come to mind.  But I have realized over the past year that I have let the chaos of marriage, the world, and pleasing others get in the way of my keeping my ears tuned to what God has to say.  Yes, this is confession.  I still don't know where all my time goes.  I think part of it is back then I was up at 11PM completing tasks, where now I go to bed at around 8:30PM.  Sometimes I need to. Other times, well, it's the 'I'm going to bed, are you coming?" and it is easier to stop crocheting or reading and just go to bed for I know that I need the sleep, even if at that moment I am not sleepy.  Sometimes I have stayed up.  Perhaps I need to start doing that again occasionally.  We can't always hear God when we are in the midst of noise and chaos.  

When was the last time you got alone with God?  Yes, I do it every morning, but I admit that I don't always carve out listening time.  I keep one eye on the clock and read my Bible, write in my journal, pray, and then jump on here.  I need to put God first always.  And I have.  But He doesn't always have my full attention.  Maybe I should switch this to evening. Or maybe I should switch writing in my journal at evening time.  Something to pray about; think about. Do something about.  How important is listening to God to me?  to you?  

And with that, I need to get off here and start getting ready for the RV Park.  

Blessings!

Yesterday was over the top

 - very busy! I kid you not, I couldn't have taken a lunch break if I wanted to!  But - I did jump off about 3:15PM after another phone call discussion with someone and head over to CVS to get my flu shot.  I have to get it; it's mandatory in order to keep my job.  So I get it as soon as it's available so that I can get it over with.  I have the paperwork to send in to the company to prove that I got it. Yep, we have to provide proof we received the vaccine. Understandably why.  My arm is blotchy red around the shot area but at least it isn't sore.  

Today will prove to be another busy day.  We have 'town hall' 3 times today and I'm back-up - which means I will be at my desk and listening to everything 3 times.  I really have a lot to get done and I don't have time for this, but sometimes someone's computer will mess up and the back-up person will have to take over showing the slide presentation.  That someone is me, at least today.  I'm usually the back-up because I don't want to have to do it.  They asked me to do this first one at 8AM, but I suggested we bring in another executive assistant to do them and I remain back-up.  They agreed so I don't have to do it.  YAY!

Worked all day yesterday on the male boss's trip to Colorado next week.  Sometimes I just want to... well, he frustrates me.  He asked one executive to meet him for breakfast one day.  They said they couldn't. So he asked another.  Then the other came back and said they could. So then it's up to me to figure out how to make it work. And I threw up my hands when I discovered the one he asked for breakfast is an hour away from his hotel in the opposite direction of the one he is to meet late morning; he can't meet for lunch because the company picnic starts at noon and he has to be there; that is why he is flying there, so it's to be a late morning 'hot chocolate' for him with the 2nd one - who is 45 minutes north of where the one he is meeting that is an hour south, then he has to be in yet another city 30 minutes away for the picnic.  I told him 'we have to talk' this morning.  When, I don't know, since I have to be listening to every town hall. And he is doing a presentation during it as well, I think.  This man drives me absolutely crazy.

I had a bunch of packages delivered yesterday.  I think seven. That's a good number, don't you think?  Six from Amazon (not my fault they don't pack them all in one box!) and one from JoAnn Fabrics.  I feel it saves me money at JoAnn's to just order my yarn online if I know what color I want because then all I end up with is the yarn that I want.  They have a lot more things there besides yarn and it does tend to get your attention.  As for all my boxes from Amazon, got my L-Tyrosine that I had just ran out of; got a couple books I had pre-ordered and they shipped; a birthday gift and a Christmas gift or two. I am sitting here looking at the boxes and trying to remember what is in them.  I need to start writing things down, right? I did an excel spreadsheet last year of all the Christmas things I bought/made - I saw it the other day so need to pull it out and compare, and then create one for this year.  I've already got a start on the 'Christmas wall' - where I put all the gifts in here against the wall before I wrap.  

Which reminds me, they are 'giving' us nearly the entire week of Christmas off this year.  It's ok to have an extra day or two, but we still have to use our PTO time.  And if the office is 'officially closed', we have to take it.  Christmas is on a Wednesday this year so they have given us Monday-Tuesday-Wednesday-Thursday.... and Friday if we want it. Then I think Monday-Tuesday-Wednesday the following week for New Years.  I'm watching my PTO hours because I do want to take some extra time off to do my Christmas baking.  I got cookies to make! :-)  I think they are 'forcing' people to take PTO because once you get to 240 hours you stop earning - and many people just don't pay attention and then complain when they stop receiving the hours.  By being 'forced' to take vacation days, it actually benefits them as they are getting away from work (or should be!) to recharge.  I think I have about 100 hours built up in PTO and nearly 40 hours in sick time.  We can use both for time off.  I need to check and see what is there. Of course Labor Day just took 8 hours.  Thanksgiving will take 16 hours, which is the next holiday. I forget how much I earn each pay period - but on the 17th of this month I mark 7 years with this company - where does the time go?! - so I do get nearly a day a month, I think.

And yes, I'm rambling today with nothing to talk about.  I didn't want to get up this morning; but my mind started waking up and regardless of what the body says, the mind overrules. I gave up and got up about 4:40AM.  The body is tired and wanted to rest. The mind said "Get up you lazy thing! It's time to start the day!"  Whatever.

Not sure what is going on with hubby.  He has been pretty grumpy lately, moreso than usual. He acts like he is 'overwhelmed' at times. I know part - or most - is that both hearing aids went out on Monday. And he lets everyone know he can't hear. He kept showing me how he only had so much time left on one and the other was already 'dead'.  He did go yesterday and there is a short in one and it has gone back to be fixed; the other they had to replace the battery that they had replaced the week before. So hearing out of one ear I am told I need to make sure he is watching me speak so he can hear me.  Does that mean if I mutter under my breath as I turn away that he can't hear me?  Asking for a friend.

Got an invite to a great-grandson's first birthday party later this month.  Got an invite for another's 2nd birthday this Friday.  Hubby let me know he would not be going to one later this month and gave me his reason. Doesn't matter. It's still a great-grandson and I will go, at least for a little while.  And I'm going to leave all that right here. 

I read a chapter on Journaling again this morning in yet another book.  I've read this one before, and I've read other books that refer to the importance of journaling.  I figure this blog is like my journaling, is it not? I give my life story here! I know, b-o-r-i-n-g, huh!  But I do, on occasion, take my book journal and will write out several pages in prayer or asking God to help me understand some things, asking Him to help me get through each day; asking Him to heal my heart; heal my family; restore what the enemy has taken away from us.  Some prayers I rewrite on a daily basis it seems. Yes, I know that God hears my prayers the first time. But, like the persistent widow, sometimes we need to press in to God and continue to ask Him for what we want.  But we also need to remember that He sees the bigger picture.  We may ask for someone to be healed.  He sees someone becoming a Christian because He didn't heal that person.  We pray for financial peace; He sees it as teaching us to manage our money better.  There are always a good side to prayers not answered, and I know He sees the bigger picture.  Sometimes we see that agony about something is prolonged, but maybe the lesson isn't for us, but for someone who watches us.  If we are walking with God on a daily basis, He will provide all we need to get through whatever it is that we need help with.  He may not give us the answer, but He will walk with us through it.  And you know what? Sometimes that is better because it teaches us that in the hard times, we are not alone, but God is with us.  Grateful for that.

2 Chronicles 16:9:  For the eyes of the LORD run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to show Himself strong on behalf of those whose heart is loyal to Him.

The Lord is not a respecter of persons. He rewards equally all those who seem Him fervently - which is why some don't' enter into much in God. As He looks upon the moderate zeal with which they seek Him, if He were to give them the power and glory they requested, He would be violating all those who have sought Him with so much more intensity.

So with what intensity are you seeking God today?  Is it a casual 'hi there', or do you actually sit down and center your thoughts on Him and let Him love on you?  Haven't done that before?  Take a few moments away from distractions.  Close your eyes. Turn your thoughts to Him. Ask Him what you will. Even if it is just to get through the day. And then wait. And listen. You may - or may not - 'hear' Him answer you.  Depends on if you have conditioned your ears to hear.  It sometimes takes time to hear His voice. But when you know it, you know it.  Have a thought pop in your mind that you need to do something that you normally wouldn't do? That may be God.  Listen. Hear. Act.

I can remember one years, many many years ago, I was on my knees praying and the thought popped in to my mind "Send your sister $20". I hadn't talked to her for a couple days so I didn't know why - but I did what I was told.  When she received it, she called me crying.  She was a single mom at that time and she said she had a need (don't remember what it was for now) and needed $20 to meet that need - and God provided.  What if I hadn't listened to God?  It's not that I did anything on my own. I wouldn't have sent her money. But God.  When you listen to what He says to you, or nudges you to do, you bless others, and in return, you get blessed.  God is good.  He is always watching, always caring, always loving us.

Blessings!

I got rescheduled....

 I had already taken a shower, dressed, and was mentally prepared to go to the dentist yesterday.  But, I had not put makeup on yet, nor had I dried and fixed my hair.  Then I got a phone call from the dentist office.  My hygienist's dad was put in the hospital the night before and she would not be in.  They tried two other hygienists to see if one could sub - but neither could.  So all the office could do was reschedule me.  I moved my appointment to July 21. I think that is what it is; it's on my calendar in the other room.  Yay - I get a reprieve.  So I let my hair dry naturally and didn't wear makeup.

Yesterday was quiet and boring.  My one boss and I exchanged a few words on Teams (sorta like IM) and she was off to a granddaughter's kindergarten graduation for the morning.  I think I made only one meeting the entire day.  I didn't do much else but sit in front of the cmoputer.  B-o-r-i-n-g.  I did get notice to schedule a meeting at 3:57PM and you know what?  I started to... then opted out.  I get off at 4PM... it was not a critical meeting and I wasn't going to schedule it until the end of June anyway.... so it can wait until Monday.  It was for an outside preson and not my boss, although she was invited.  Yeah, I get requests from outside vendors too.  Overall, yesterday was a quiet day.

I fixed dinner, we ate, and we got to read last night - no TV - but by 7:30PM I was dozing off to sleep so gave up about 8PM and went to bed.  I have a feeling hubby watched TV (with his headset) after I went to bed cause he woke me up at 10:10PM when he came to bed (long enough to watch a movie, but I could be wrong.  But him read for two hours?  Doubtful.  Anyway, he tossed and turned last night, waking me frequently.  Although I wanted - and could have - slept in this morning I was up at 4PM and went to the other bedroom, hoping to fall back to sleep, but could not.  So came on out here and read my Bible and prayed and did a few other things.  I think hubby got up about 5AM.  

I have Needles of Hope this morning and Ms. Lori is bringing yarn that has been donated.  YAY !  I usually let the others take what they want - and then I take the leftovers... unless there is something I see that I really want, then I feel I am entitled to it as well as they - usually what they leave is scratchy stuff and only a skein of a color or a partial one.  But that's ok - I still make it into a baby blanket and turn it in. I think I have 4 blankets to take today as I have been working on a couple other things this month, plus reading a lot more than usual.  

After Needles of Hope, I plan to stop by and see Ms. Diane.  Her daughter text'd me last night and told me where she is staying and her room number, and it is close by where NoH meets.  I'll visit with her first, then will check in with Ms. Amy and go visit her real quick.  I still can't believe that she is finally leaving for Florida on Monday.  Mixed emotions.  I bought a small package of note cards and plan to put a few stamps with it and give to her, along with my address card.  She can write me when she gets settled in and give me her address.  It will be nice to have a 'pen pal' - if she writes at all.  I'll miss her.

Luke 7:44 "Turning toward the woman, He said to Simon, "Do you see this woman?""

Looking and seeing people or things are two different things.  It's sorta like hearing and listening, right?  One is merely the physical, while the other requires the willing cooperation of the heart.  Many of us - in rebellion - acceed to the looking not seeing, hearing not listening modes.  That is, we will admit it if we are being honest.  

Whenever we're certain that our own schedules and reputations are the most important to maintain, we lack the sensitivity and compassion needed to pay attention to what anyone else is saying - or even listen enough to digest the words spoken.  We fail to see what is on their heart; are their words crying out for help?  Are we so focused on our way, our sensitivities, our thoughts - that we fail to see or hear what they are feeling and trying to tell us?  As we all know - "Fine" does not always mean 'fine'. That word is used to protect ourselves. We don't want to share what is going on, but we want you to hear us that we're hurting and just don't want to share. We just want to be accepted and loved.  We'll share when we work through it; process it.  Please tell me I'm not alone with that thought.

In this story from Luke 7, Simon the Pharisee had just witnessed the shocking spectacle of a 'lewd woman' sneaking uninvited into his home during his special dinner party and she poured perfume - and a lot of tears - upon the feet of Jesus.  EVERY eye in the room had watched her, horrified at what she was doing.  Women did not 'let their hair down' in public!  They all 'saw' her, but Jesus specificially asked Simon to 'look again' at her.

If Simon could really see her, he would know that this woman had come seeking forgiveness from her Savior.  She had come seeking forgiveness for sins no worse or more heinous than those committed by the smug and the self-righteous.  If Simon had seen this in her, rather than merely staring in shock at her, his hypocrisy would have melted into humility. His critique would have changed into compassion.  His judging would have turned his thoughts to within himself.... and if he had done these things, become humble, have compassion, repented within himself, he could have walked out of that place with the same gifts that she did; saving faith and blessed peace from Jesus Himself.

How different would your own relationships and encounters with others be if you could change your looking into seeing?  How much more of an impact on others for the kingdom of God on an everyday basis if you elevated your hearing into listening to people?

Oh that we all could become a choice intrument in the hand of God, prepared for His purposes, propelled into His passion, moved to displays of grace and mercy towards the hurting in the lost and dying world.  Why not ask the Lord that today, He would make you more sensitive to the words of others, that you will truly listen and see them, perhaps for the very first time in a very long time.

Make it a point today to start listening, and seeing, perhaps for the first time in a very long time.

Blessings!

There is a verse...

 in the Bible that a friend had paraphrased many years ago and that paraphrase had stuck with me for many years.  I often pray that prayer, cause I don't know what to do.  This morning, as I pondered on what to write, the words came back to my mind.

"Cause me to know the way wherein I should walk; for I trust in You."

So this morning, once again, I go looking for the actual verse.  I may have even been saying it wrong for years from what was paraphrased, but some times things just stick in your mind.  I am always praying for direction, for help in making the right choices.  Sometimes I choose rightly, other times, well, I have God's grace for my mistakes.

Psalm 143:8 (NKJV):  "Cause me to hear Your lovingkindness in the morning, for in You do I trust; Cause me to know the way in which I should walk, for I lift up my soul to You."

Have you gotten up some mornings and you had no clue what you would be doing, or how your day would be going  - once it started going?  There is nothing on the agenda for you to do; there are no plans.  I find that if I pray this verse, it is amazing what God will do in my life that day.  My prayer then changes to 'let me be aware of what You are doing in me and through me today, Lord."

Yesterday was a good day.  I had a wonderful breakfast with my son.  It did my heart good to sit with him for a spell and hear what is going on in his life and in his family's life.  He shared he buys dill pickle juice for leg cramps - I got excited!  I didn't know you could buy just the juice - and when he sent the link - yep - I bought a gallon!  We drink tonic water for leg cramp prevention - but I love dill pickle juice, so yeah, think I'm switching.  Hubby can drink the tonic water!  The dill pickle juice could help my salt cravings too, I imagine.

Coming home, I found baby wrapping paper in a cabinet in the garage (yay!) so got things wrapped up for the granddaughter's shower.  We went over there and I am grateful a few of her friends came as well as an Army family contact person.  It was a nice shower and she got some nice things.  The baby won't wear out any of the oneies as there were about 20 I think and they are all small!  

Sigh.  One of her brothers came down to go to a concert last night... and he was already '10 sheets to the wind'.  He staggered around the room and was loud and obnoxious.  I tried to talk with him and got lots of 'yes ma'am'... but I knew he wasn't listening... in the mental state he was in, he wasn't hearing anyone. I was so disappointed he arrived that way.  He couldn't even keep his eyes open.  I can only trust he made it back to the hotel last night.  Lord, please hear my prayers for this child.  Rescue him from himself.

We plan to go to church this morning and when I get home, I plan to make taco soup and take some over to Ms. Diane.  I found out yesterday that Ms. Amy did get admitted to the hospital.  Probably at her daughter's insistence, versus having the need.  I still can't get over how the daughter behaved - she was in a tizzy - and I don't understand why ... but it isn't for me to judge.  Perhaps the doctors/hospital needed the demand for her to be admitted to 'find out what is wrong'.  My thought was she had a stroke a week ago; she got an implant (pacemaker?) put in her chest while she was there... give her body time to respond and heal... she will be weak.  Right?  I'll call the daughter later today to find out what is going on.  She was nearly a 'Karen' with her demands!  LOL

So what are your plans for today?  Rest?  Reading?  Relaxation?   Why not take a few moments and start your day off right and pray with me the verse above?  

"Cause me to hear Your lovingkindness in the morning, for in You do I trust; Cause me to know the way in which I should walk, for I lift up my soul to You."

That is my prayer... God loves each of us so much that He wants us to trust Him for whatever comes at us today.  We need His help to get through each day.  When we wait on Him, He will surely guide us. 

I Peter 5:6-7 (NKJV):  "Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you."

II Peter 3:18 (NKJV):  "but grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ; to Him be the glory both now and forever. Amen."

What do you know about Jesus?  If your child or grandchild asked you about Jesus, could you give an answer that would help them to know Jesus?  Do you know about Jesus that you could share with those you love His wonderful Word?  Something to think about.

Blessings!