Just a little time left right now....

 I didn't sleep well last night - don't know what is going on with my left leg, but it was aching from the hip down to the foot last night.  I even rubbed Voltaren on it before going to bed.  Thoughts went through my mind as to what could I do - you can't see anything.... what tests would be involved to find out what is going on?  I'm just praying that Jesus - the Great Physician - will hear my prayers and bring healing to my body.  Yes, it is that painful that I'm praying over it.  I'm speaking the name of Jesus over it (think of the song).  He can do the impossible.  

But what if?  What if He chooses NOT to heal and it IS something?  Then He will give me the strength to get through whatever it is.  Sometimes the pain and suffering is not for the one going through it; it is for someone else to see.  Some of you would not understand that statement.  But think of it this way.  If someone suffers greatly and finds no relief, but yet their faith in Jesus does not fail - whether He heals them or not.... at what point would a child, a spouse, a grandchild.... at what point would they see their faith and be encouraged to turn from their own ways to turn to Jesus?  I've seen it happen!  I've read stories where - I forget who it was - but the woman had 12 children, I think it was.... and she prayed every day for each one of them, for their salvation.  By the time she had aged and was on her death bed, there was still the oldest who had refused Jesus.  She died.... but her prayers lived on.  A neighbor asked the atheist son (who was in his 80's) to go to church.  For the first time, he agreed to go.  He accepted Jesus as Lord that Sunday and was baptized.  His mama's prayers lived on and each of her children believed on Jesus and accepted Him into their lives.  Hallelujah!  I'm still praying that over each of my children, my grandchildren, and now my great-grandchildren.

I was able to get many of the trainings for work completed yesterday.  I think I have about 4 left to complete today.  Started out with about 20, I think.  And they will slide another one or two in by the due date in June, I'm sure. They always do.  But I'm getting these done as I don't have the much on my calendar right now.  AND, the board meeting did get cancelled for tomorrow so that's off my plate as well.

Morgan cancelled on me yesterday morning.  I had an 8:30AM workout - chest this time - but she said the stomach flu had arrived so cancelled me.  I think hubby has an appointment today.  I bought him some sleeveless shirts as he has been asking Morgan if she can see if he is gaining muscle as he works out - but she tells him he wears a short-sleeve shirt so she can't see the muscle working.  She told me about the conversation - he didn't - so I surprised him with some sleeveless shirts from Amazon yesterday. (Yes, he is spoiled)  I wasn't sure what size so bought one XL and 4 L..... he put on a large and it fit so he wore one all evening, and I see he has another one on this morning.  Since he hasn't ever worn a sleeveless shirt that I recall.... well, let's just say it's 'different' seeing him in one.  But I get it.  When I know I'm working my upper body (and it is warmer), I have taken to wearing my tank tops so that Morgan can see if I am working the right muscles and doing the exercise correctly.  I don't wear them all the time, but since I knew I had 'chest' yesterday, I was ready to go until I got the text.  I did do a few squats and lunges yesterday here in the bedroom.  I've ordered a tai chai chair exercise chart.... I want to see if I can start doing things from my chair during the day - they say only 7 minutes a day is all it takes to tighten up various parts of the body.  I do enjoy exercising - and seeing the results!

Housecleaners will be here today so I need to empty my trash cans and pick up a few things.  We don't 'clean' before they come, but we do put things away.  I haven't let him in here to clean since about October.... I may let him in to run the sweeper though.  I still have stuff stacked on the tables and desks in here - one of these days.... right?

Another person is resigning from work - what is going on?  This is one from legal.  This makes about 4-6 people in the last six months that is leaving or has left.  And of course Sue is leaving July 31 - although her boss told her if they haven't found someone to replace her, they would give her a good retention bonus if she could stay until they get someone on board.  Will see how that works out.  She's going to Aruba in June - and to the northeast in September - so that still leaves August.  

I was thinking we were going to Pine in August, but we are not - it's Heber/Overgaard area.  And, this will be the last year we will go somewhere.  I won't let hubby drive, and I'm getting to where I don't want to drive long distances.  Personal reasons. I won't go there. Sigh.  Unless I'm running away to be alone. Just saying.  It will be here before we know it.  It's hard to believe we will be in May come Friday!  Another year flying by.

I probably could write more this morning, but I'm out of time and need to get on the work computer. I could draft this, and write later.... but knowing me, I may forget to do so.  I guess this is all you will get today.

I'm feeling 'out of sorts' today.... do you ever feel that way?  Nothing really wrong... but you are waiting for the 'other shoe' to drop?  I'm so tired... no so much physically, but mentally.  Heard yesterday that our great-granddaughter may be given back to the mother instead of getting to come with our family.  That is causing havoc for some.  My son is beside himself.  All I can do is pray.  The child should not be with her mother.... for so many reasons.  But she played the mama deprivation card in a conference call with DCS the other day.... she has none of her 4 children.... and the only one she wants is the oldest, which is our great-granddaughter.  Revenge?  Possibly.  But I fear for this child, especially because of the trauma she has already gone through.  And again, all I can do is pray.... please say a prayer as well that she will be protected from harm and abuse.  Thanks.

And with that - I'm off here - two minutes to 7AM - got to turn the computer on.

Blessings!

My girl is going home....

 Yeah, this morning my daughter is on her way to the airport.  Instead of me driving her there, with hubby on board, she called her youngest brother because she had not seen him yet, and asked if he could take her - for which I am so grateful.  Driving to the airport is not my favorite thing to do, but I would do it in a heartbeat for whoever needed it.  She thought she had told him to pick her up at 5:30AM.  I text'd him at 5:20 and he didn't 'read' my text.  I called him at 5:35AM.. it went to voicemail.  He called me back about 5:40AM and said that he was in the car and on his way; I guess he didn't hear 5:30AM but 'around 5:30AM' or whatever - anyway, they just left; got a couple blocks away, and she remembered she had laid her phone down - so back they came and I ran the phone out to her.  And now they are on their way to the airport.  Grateful I don't have to do the driving, although I had gotten dressed when he wasn't here at 5:30AM.  I was planning on getting her there.

We had a nice visit last night, and yes, 'allowed' hubby to sit in on the conversation. We didn't talk about much but he said he appreciated us letting him sit in and talk with us, that he enjoyed the time sitting around chatting. It WAS nice getting to just sit around the kitchen table and chat.  We just don't do enough of it.

I'm on my second cup of coffee this morning since I was sipping and waiting on my daughter to get ready to leave.  By the time they were on their way, my cup was nearly empty. So here I am, a full cup of coffee, and typing in here.  I haven't even done my quiet time yet... but will soon.  Morgan just text'd me and said she was sorry but was cancelling me for our 8:30AM training...... the stomach bug has hit her house and you know what that means!  I'm not sure if it is her or her little ones, but when her husband is out of town a week at a time, it generally falls on mama to take care of whomever.  Her husband's job keeps him in town one week and out the next; I think this is an out week.

Work wasn't too bad yesterday, but I was busy, for sure.  Didn't get any trainings completed, just didn't have time to get to them. Yeah, it was that busy.  Hopefully today I can fit some in.  I did get a nice surprise yesterday - one of the directors sent me a card with $50 in it, thanking me for always helping her and her team and always being available for them.  Nice.  Admin Professional Day was last week, remember?  And I cancelled the board meeting for Thursday - finally got that out of the way.  You know how I 'love' board meetings.  Next one is May 7th - will see how that goes.

Proverbs 22:1  A good name is more desirable than great riches; to be esteemed is better than silver or gold.

I think sometimes we scoff at names... I mean, don't you usually raise your eyebrows and your mind goes crazy when you hear a name that sounds ridiculous to you?  Yet, to the mama or papa, it is a precious name.  We've heard all names - names of the seasons, names of celebrities, names of 'olden days'.... and we may even roll our eyes - unless it is one of our own, right?  I think of my own name.  My name comes from part of my mother's middle name, and my middle name is my dad's first name, and the last half of my mother's middle name. I've always said I was the 'favorite' because I was named after both mom and dad. :-)  No one else has that claim.  Well, my little brother has dad's middle name.  But I have both.  

But, what is in a name if we don't respect it?   What if we bring dishonor to our name - such as some have done by doing things that are not respectable?  When someone hears our name, do they think highly of us, or do they consider us one that deserves no value?  How many times have we heard a name and thought negatively about it?  I can think of even some of my siblings that I have thought badly of, and I'm sure you have as well.  Where they have done things that obviously they don't think is 'bad', or maybe they turned against you.... you still love them, but you have to choose to move them out of your life for that time, until they can prove themselves - I'm sure I have done that (quite a few times, actually), and I'm sure you have as well.  Yes, my mind is rambling as my fingers run over these keys - thinking back in my mind.  I try to remain neutral, but when people slander you or say things to you that are unspeakable.... one tends to back away from them - at least for awhile.

But I have learned over the years that when we do that, and block them out of our lives, we give them control over us.  Yes, that may sound unreal, but it is true.  And holding a grudge against someone will keep you out of heaven for God says that if we don't forgive someone, He won't forgive us.  That's important to me, for I have much to be forgiven for!  So even though I may not 'care' for someone, I associate with them for I am not going to give them the power to keep me out of heaven. Does that make sense?  My daughter and I had that talk last night about a family member.  I refuse to give anyone but God control over me.  Now hubby is a different story and I'm not going there.  But I must push my personal feelings aside and be 'distant friends' - if that makes sense.  Holding grudges helps no one.

But then, are we taking care of our name?  Will our parents be proud when they hear our name - or will it grieve their heart?  Will someone close to you be sadden, be happy, be proud??  What is in a name, anyway?  Whatever we do, let's make our name 'Good'.  Let's live our lives in such a way that when someone hears our name, they smile.  Or at least respect us.  

Sometimes with my attitude with work - I often wonder how people perceive me.  I'm grateful that many of the 'happy admin day' e-cards I have received have commented not only about my skills and abilities, but also my personality.  Doesn't mean I am perfect, by any means.  But it is nice to hear that my name is respected by my peers and leaders.  What about you?

A nice quiet evening is ahead, I hope.  Hubby will be home today as he hasn't changed back to Tuesday from Thursday for his meeting with his friend.  I need to figure out something for dinner and pull it out of the freezer.  Been eating out way too much this past week so need to rein in my spending. Although I do think I have a couple Amazon orders coming in today.  It is just way too easy to order on Amazon, right?  But it sure saves me time by not having to drive to the store - and walk around and browse - and buy more then I meant to in the first place.  

And now.... I need to get off here and take some time to read.  With all the 'excitement' of getting my daughter off this morning, I haven't done my quiet time yet, and I only have a short time left. I could have written this later, but my mind wasn't settling down.  Now that this is done, I can be quiet, and sit still.  

So with that - hope that your day ahead is amazing.  Be kind to others.  You don't know what they are going through.

Blessings!

And...... I'm back to work

 Yeah, had to get on the computer at 7AM and start approving timecards.  Considering what I spent this past 4 days, good thing payday is Thursday this week!  Actually, I didn't do too bad.... but I know I did purchase too much and really didn't need to get everything that I did.  But it's all good.  I wanted it, I bought it.  Now I'll give it away. LOL  Seriously, I didn't do too bad, but I did buy some things I should have told myself 'no' to.

Got home early afternoon - much earlier than we had planned for sure.  But, once in town, I knew hubby would be tracking for the afternoon so knew also that I needed to head on home.  No biggie, but you know how hubby can get when he hasn't seen anyone for awhile.  And of course, he wanted to talk, and update me on all he did, the things he did - and didn't do, the breakfast he took himself out to.  And he asked about my trip - and I'm just the opposite in sharing information; I share only what needs to be known. If you know what I mean.  Does that make me bad?  I did tell him all we did.... I think... but no, didn't tell him all I bought, although he did see everything I brought home.  I know he missed me.

We did stop at White Castles on the way back home and I bought a case; kept some out for hubby for his dinner, and then I bagged up the rest and froze them.  I have found that if I put two in the cartons in the microwave after they thaw out, and let them heat up 45-60 seconds - it is like they were just made.  Another things I probably shouldn't have purchased, but hey - haven't been back there in nearly a year. Just saying. And one has to have White Castles periodically, right?

Work has kept me busy this morning and even though I had deleted work emails while I was out - I still had over 200 emails this morning to go through. And yes, I still have things to do that are on them. But, I remembered I hadn't written in here yet, and I'm sure you want to know I'm home... ok, quit rolling your eyes.   Been thinking about retirement this morning and I may put it off another year..... at least.... I do like having my own money to spend and not be accountable for it.

Oh I have to tell you this - it's not a bad thing - it's just the generation thing.  We were at one store and I think all of us purchased something - or at least the granddaughter and I did.  I'm in the other room of this shop and I hear the conversation in the other room at the register.  The cashier is telling them it's either cash or check ONLY; they do not do debit cards or credit cards.  I'm only half-listening, but I heard that part and thought to myself, "wow, that's unusual".... and then I hear, "Mom?"  "Grandma?"   And I laughed.  I carried cash with me; they did not.  And I had enough to cover mine and theirs. And yes, I was zelle'd the money to replace what I'd put out for the purchases.  It was funny; I guess neither of them carried any cash on them, relying only on their debit cards.  I prefer cash for the most part.

I don't know if you remember in the years past where my right arm would break out in a rash every few months.  I went to the dermatologist and he did a biopsy but they never could figure out what it was. It would pop out on my arm - no itching, just red and sometimes bumps.  Just on my right forearm top.  Then after a day or two, it would go away.  The first time it happened I went to urgent care and they tried to tell me I'm allergic to cleaning products.  I told her that I didn't clean, so that couldn't be it. It has done this for 3-4 years now - every few months it would just appear and then go away.  I didn't do anything for it.  Well, I'm thinking I may be allergic to the sun!  I don't know what else it could be for I noted it had happened once before when I had been standing in the sun for awhile.

We had lunch at this one restaurant on Friday and we had sat outside for about an hour, I'd guess.  I love the warmth of the sun (and being higher elevation, it was cooler than I'm used to) so I sat where the sun could land on me and keep me warm.  I ate my sandwich and just sat back in the chair afterwards with my eyes closed, enjoying the warmth of the sun.  It was probably only about 30 minutes.  Maybe it wasn't it, though.... on Saturday I noticed both of my forearms were red, like exposed to the sun. I laughed and showed my granddaughter, reminding her I sat in the sun the day before so much have gotten a bit of sunburn.  Yesterday the left arm had pretty much faded out, but the right arm was still red.  Today  there is a small spot on my left arm, and the right arm has been reduced to about 8 inches x 4 inches area and still a bright red.  It will probably be gone by tomorrow.  Don't have to put anything on it - it fades out on its own - no itching.  I could call Dr. Mark, but why get a bill I don't need when it comes and goes on its own?  I have no idea what I am allergic to, nor why it stays only a couple days, and then fades back out.  Is it something I ate?  Rubbed up against?  I have no clue.  The sun is the only thing I can think of that was different than normal.... I don't sit out in the sun here - at least not for long!

I have a 1:30PM training today - Morgan has started moving me in the middle of the day some.... I just have to keep an eye on what's going on that I need to deal with. But it is a nice break in the middle of the day.  Tomorrow I go at 8:30AM.  I'm supposed to take my daughter to the airport early tomorrow morning - her plane leaves at 7:45AM.  Since she hasn't seen her younger brother yet, I'm thinking of asking if he would mind taking her to the airport so he could have some time with her..... but I need to run it by her first, I guess.  She will be here after my training - late afternoon, I'm guessing.  Staying the night with me.  I just don't like going to the airport... and hubby plans to go with me.... good reason alone to ask my youngest, don't you think?  LOL

Ok - need to get off here; have lots to get done yet today.  Hope your week is starting off well.  Now that I've caught you up on our trip - maybe I can get back in sync.

Blessings!

Play time is about over.....

 This is our last morning at the AIRBNB and we will be heading home in a few hours.  We all went to bed early yesterday - like around 8:30PM, and I can't believe that it is after 6AM and all three of the others are still asleep!  I awoke at 4AM, but asked God to let me sleep one more hour, and He did.  I opened my eyes at 5AM and turned on the light to start my reading.  My reading is done, and well, here I am, writing in here.  Yesterday all three of the girls came in here and gathered on my bed.  I loved it.  I wonder if they will this morning - but probably not.... I plan to get up and get dressed once I finish this. And yes, I'm rambling.

We had a good day yesterday.  We did some more shopping; went to the Farmer's Market, stopped at a place and shared a hot dog and a strawberry lemonade, lost a stuffed chicken the great-gran was carrying around, went back to the stores but could not find, so mama bought her another one when we happened to walk into a store and voila! There were crochet'd chickens!  Lunch and dinner were the same - lunchmeat sandwiches and chips - and that worked perfectly.  We will probably have donuts again this morning (still have a lot), and coffee (for me, anyway).  We will pack up and head out in a few hours - have to be out by 11AM and we will be.  The house has been ok, but there has been disappointment in some things.

I got a note on hubby and my airbnb we booked for August - for some reason I was thinking it was also in Pine, but it is not.  Our cabin is in Heber-Overgaard.  I hope it meets our needs!  Actually, I chose that one because it had outside seating on a covered porch, a king-size bed to sleep in, and two couches, I believe, in the front room so that I can spread out. :-) I know I've told you this before.

We played games last night - UNO this time - with the little one.  Yes, we helped her, but we didn't help her win - and she did - twice, I think!  All that fresh air yesterday made us all a little tired, I think, for we all were ready for bed early.  I slept good last night, although during the night when I was turning, my left hip muscle did something weird and it caused me a sharp pain - not sure what that was about. It was like a muscle moving... I hadn't had that sensation before.  I put more Voltaren on it this morning so it is still behaving.

I've decided these small towns are not what I really want to be driving in.  I've let my daughter do the driving and I am definitely ok with that.  (Although when hubby asked if I was going to do all the driving I said no, my daughter was going to do some and he retorted "O, you will let her drive but you won't let me!"  To which I responded, "Yes".)  Anyway - this little town has shops one after the other and trying to drive to a parking spot and people walking everywhere - I think it is too much for me!  I like having space to move, if you know what I mean.  

Once we are on the road and back in town, we plan to stop somewhere for lunch before heading on home. Hubby is beside himself that I'm coming home today. Sigh.  He did take himself out for breakfast yesterday morning and had to explain in detail what he had and why he had chosen that place. He plans to go to early church this morning (9AM) he says.  He wants to be sure he is home when I get there - which I don't plan until 3PM or so - at least.  I'm still on vacation, right?

Don't have anything to write about, really..... think I will start myself a cup of coffee and come back in here and start packing my things up.  I sure did more shopping than I intended to!  Bought jam, honey, a couple gifts, cinnamon covered nuts (almonds, pecans and walnuts), books (of course I did, but these are children's books to put in the great grans bookcase), and a few other things, I guess.  It's only money, right?  I stayed within my budget, well, pretty much.  The market was a bit more than we thought it would be.  But -  we didn't bring food with us so that is our fault.  I certainly would not pay $7.59 for a package of lunchmeat if I was home!  But it is good honey ham. Just saying.

Now that I've given you something to read, I'm going to get off here. It's 6:30AM and time for people to arise. Or not.  It's been raining some this morning and the sound is so nice to sleep in with.  Snuggled down in warm blankets is the way it ought to be.

Have an amazing day and see if I can't get back on track in the next few days.

Blessings!

It was a good day

 We got out and about yesterday and actually did a lot of things.  We visited the lavender farm, which was interesting. Yes, I bought the cookbook that shows how to make things with lavender in them.  Although, I will admit right off the top, that making lavender lemon cookies, which sounds delicious, is not going to be on the list unless I cut way back on the lavender!  They had lavender lemon cookies in the store and I bought one.  Way too strong in the lavender for me and for my daughter.  The granddaughter seemed to like it ok. I could try it, but with a lot less lavender, I think.  Anyway... yes, I got the cookbook and it looks fun - at least for a time or two.  There is even a recipe for lavender sugar - which is taking portions of granulated sugar and lavender and blend together real fine - and then use for the recipes.... and since I was interrupted by two big people and one little one, I've lost my train of thought on that one. 

I haven't had my coffee yet, and it is being used at the moment - which tells me I need to get up and fix my coffee.  But, I won't until I finish this.  

Oh - back to yesterday, we did hit a couple more shops - there sure are a lot of them here!  I did buy hubby some apricot jam, as he does like apricots.  Something else I bought him, but I don't remember what it is.  We ate lunch at The Herb - they had all kinds of herbs there, and teas, and they fixed sandwiches.  Surprise, I did not buy any new tea.  But I did buy hubby and I these back scrubbers, you know, where you can reach all across the back and not just the top or the bottom with the brush.  This one has handles on both sides and you scrape it across the back.  I'm sure it would help with itching in the middle too! We sat outside and ate lunch - and last night I noticed my arms were red!  I tried to figure out where that was from - and finally figured that because I sat out in the sun for perhaps 30 minutes at lunch, I must have gotten enough for a light burn. Would never have thought that!  Granddaughter got some tea called 'LaLa Tea' - meaning to help someone sleep.  I didn't drink any, but a couple did.  

We had wood-fired pizza last night for dinner - it was pretty good.  While my daughter and I went to pick it up - there were about 20 ELK wandering around on the side of the road!  I got several photos to put in our Jailbreak Getaway family album.  (Yes, instead of me printing pictures every year, I asked the daughter to create an album for us so she threw last year's in there and now we are trying to upload daily our photos so that we can have them in sequence.  Easier to share than flipping through our phone.  Watching the elk was pretty cool.

As for the house, a new cleaning company was sent over and they did a good job in cleaning up the areas we requested.  They also left us a nice note and advised they were a new cleaning company hired to take care of the property.  But the big surprise we got yesterday was the a large bowl of snacks and toys for the great-gran to play with was also on the table.  And a very nice note, that they were very sorry they could not get a cleaning crew out to get the weeds out of the backyard.  They sent bubbles, paints, slinky, and a few other toys for the great-gran and snacks for us adults.  A very nice gesture, which they did not have to do.  And they left a nice arrangement of green teas and K-cups.  

Today is our last day here and we plan to stay in the house until after lunch.  We stopped at the market yesterday and we picked up lunchmeat, chips, and a few things so that we can just eat lunch here at home. We've been splitting the meal costs so no one person has to pay for all.  We are having a good time, I think, at least I am. 

Last night I slept alone and slept very well until about 1AM  when my left hip decided to scream at me. Ever since I got bit by those bugs two-three years ago, my left hip will hurt occasionally during the night, and the pain would radiate into my calf.  I mentioned it to Dr. Mark before, but it wasn't too bad - and I admit, it is hard to make any type of decision on what to check when it is (at that time) a rare thing, perhaps once a month or so.  Now the pain is happening two-three times a week and last night the pain was very painful and radiated down to my calf.  I prayed over it and rubbed some Voltaren over it, and the pain subsided enough for me to go back to sleep.  Dr. Mark was thinking bursitis when I mentioned it to him, but I will bring it up again in September when I have my physical and see if we can get some kind of test on that left hip.  I guess I am more concerned because 'Uncle Edward' complained of pain in his back for months, and when he finally went to the doctor to have it checked, it was CMM - chronic multiple myeloma.  So that thought comes into my mind.  I get a bone density test this year for my physical (it's been two years since the last one) so will see if something shows up there as well.

Well, they are in the kitchen eating donuts and drinking coffee and hot chocolate without me so think I will jump off here and go join them.  Hopefully I will have fun things to share tomorrow.

Having a good time.

Blessings!

Just a quick post today

 We arrived safely to our destination.... and were a bit disappointed in what we found.  Not quite like the photos on AIRBNB.  When we went to the back yard, the photos showed an open area where one could sit and relax..... we found the chairs - among weeds that some were 18-24" high!  ALL>OVER the back yard.  We found a few other things and we quickly sat down and sent the rental place a note saying 'this is not acceptable'.  Especially for this coffee lover.  One K-cup.  Period. Two green tea bags.  For 3 adults.  No teaspoons at all.  Maybe 6 folks.  Lots of sharp knives though!  NO can opener ( I had to use a knife to cut through the lid of the can - remember those days?   We had a can of spaghetti sauce and spaghetti last night for dinner.  Oh - and only two saucepans. One skillet.  Bare necessities.  But we made do.   Oh, and the kitchen table - it's made of that wood that people carve and think is so lovely.  It's not my thing.  The knotholes in the table have food stuck in them.  So the rental agency is sending someone out this morning to clean the things we found, plus cut the weeds in the backyard. We said we would be gone from 10-1pm to give them time.  I'm sure they will need more than that for it is a big back yard.

But - overall, the house is 'doable'.  We all seem to have slept fairly well.  Well, I didn't; my mind wouldn't shut off last night - plus I had the wonderful surprise of my great-granddaughter choosing to come sleep with me!  Not what I expected, but I loved it.  I don't get many of these 1:1 moments and I treasure them.  We laid in bed and talked for a bit before she finally turned over and went to sleep.  I laid awake for a long time; looked at the clock at 2AM; 3AM; 4AM;.... determined I wasn't getting up in the dark and I didn't want to wake the great-gran with a light. So I laid in bed until about 6:45AM and just couldn't stand laying in bed any longer (you know I get up a bit earlier!)  Once I got up, I heard my daughter and granddaughter getting up - or rather my daughter climbing into bed with the granddaughter.  Then they came in here and woke the great-gran up.  Sitting around the table with my one cup of coffee (yes, I got the hot coffee) and eating donuts we chose for breakfast, we tried to decide what we wanted to do today.  It's almost 8:30AM now and I need to get dressed yet, but did want to write a bit in here.  Have to let you know we arrived safely, right?

Yesterday we did go to three-four antique shops before stopping at the market to get snacks and figure out dinner.  I guess we ae going to do one day at a time - thinking pizza tonight.  We will eat lunch out. Still have plenty of donuts for breakfast the remaining days.  I may pick up a small box of 8-cups just in case they don't bring any today.  Seriously - one k-cup for 3 adults for 4 days?  

I'm enjoying hanging out with my girls.  I've spent a lot of time playing with the great-granddaughter as well.  I brought a wooden foldable playhouse that I have made sure the great-gran knows it stays at Oma's house when we return.  We have played a lot with it, played Bingo a couple times, and just sat around and talked.  The great-gran and I got the giggles last night.  I don't normally flip through instagram but was last night and she and I got to giggling over a silly video - I think it said something like "This is what I'm afraid of going to the gym" and there is a young woman squating down to pick up dumbells, then the video changes to a 2 year old picking up the dumbbells and farting.  Yeah, you had to see the video, but we both watched it over and over and had the giggles.

Well, I do need to get dressed this morning and get out of this room so that we can decide where we are going first.  Found they have a tea place here we want to stop at - and of course the lavendar farm is up here, although they won't be in full bloom until June, I think it said.  It would be fun to get some lavandar soap and lavandar tea and other things at the shop.  Some things are definitely a tourist trap - I was really surprised at the prices at the antique stores.  My square corning ware dish?  I saw at one place it had a $42 price tag on it!  That's why I tell my kids don't just give away my dishes when I'm gone - they can make some good money off of them!

And with that - I am going tos top and get dressed.  Just wanted to update you on where we are up here and what's going on.  Hope that you have an amazing day.

Blessings!

And we are 'off ... well, soon....

 I didn't sleep well last night - not because I am excited about being on vacation - although I am - but because my left hip decided to ache all night - bad enough that I got up and took an excedrin in the middle of the night (didn't want to dig for the ibuprofen in the cabinet), but by then my body was also starting to awaken from my upper and lower body workouts this week.  

The landscapers have arrived this morning and they woke my daughter up, using the leaf blower in the courtyard.  They ARE loud.  And annoying.  

I have barely started to pack; I suppose I need to get on that pretty soon, now that the daughter is up and getting ready to get in the shower.  I'm sure I will forget something.... that's how prepared I am. LOL I'm excited to go, don't get me wrong; just haven't gotten around to packing much just yet.  After I finish this, I will get started.

We took hubby out for dinner last night and was glad the oldest son and wife were able to have dinner with us.  My daughter, and granddaughter and family, also came.  I think we all were disappointed with the food at some point.  I ordered the small bear paws with the mashed potatoes and broccoli and carrots - I couldn't eat the broccoli and carrots - carrots were hard and the broccoli looked like it had seen better days.  Hubby got IHOP gift cards which made him very happy as he goes there on Thursdays to eat when he meets up with his friend.  At least we took him out and he was happy he got attention.  

It's kind of funny, in a way.  My daughter comes home and I haven't seen her since ... January?... don't remember... and we really don't talk much - sometimes not even weekly.... and we didn't really have much to talk about when we had some time alone.  When I meet up with my little sister, we sit up and talk about everything, and we talk fairly often!  Just think it's ironic.  But then, I knew my daughter was tired as it was also a travel day for her.

We don't plan to leave for at least a couple hours yet so we are just taking our time getting around.  I've already done my devotions and had my cup of coffee.  And here I type.  Not that I have much to talk about this morning.  Not sleeping well at all, I'm tired and I just may have to nap on the way up - although we are only going a couple hours or so out of town.  We will stop for breakfast after picking up the granddaughter and great-granddaughter.  We can't check in the airbnb until 4PM - can you believe we got an email that said if we wanted to check in earlier, it would be $50 more?  Naw, we'll wait until 4PM.  We have shopping to do.

I need to pull out a couple board games to take and need to start packing for real.  I got a wooden doll house I had ordered a few weeks ago - it came yesterday.  I plan to take it with us, but I have already told the great-granddaughter it will come back to Oma's house; it isn't going home with her.  That way the other great-granddaughters can play with it as well.  

I'm just being lazy this morning.  Is this what retirement would feel like?  I've pretty much decided I probably won't be retiring, at least any time soon.  It will depend on when they hire to replace Brett, and then replace Sue after she retires.  If I can't make a 'connect' with the new ones, I may go ahead and take retirement and find another job.  I kind of like having money to spend whenever I want to, and not have to ask hubby's 'permission'.  

Daughter just came in to tell me the high today where we are going is 65 degrees.  I will make sure I have a thick sweater. LOL  I just don't do cold.  Although 65 isn't bad.  It's somewhat cool this morning and we have the front door open. Of course I have my thick housecoat around my shoulders.

Ok  guess I need to get off here.  Hubby has stopped his quiet time and is opening the blinds (I'm still on the couch) and my daughter is taking her shower in my bathroom.  I need to pull out the games and get some things pulled together; at least start packing, right?

I plan to take my computer with me and can hopefully keep you alert to all our activities....  not that we do much while away.  We kind of work things around our great-granddaughter.  And shopping. :-)

So - with that - I will stop my boring chatter and sign off for today.  Hope you have an amazing day.

Blessings!

My 'vacation time' has begun!

 It always feels different when I can sit here and look at the clock, see that it is 7AM (or thereabouts) and I'm still sitting in my chair, doing whatever I want to do.  It's not a bad feeling at all.... a grateful feeling that I can sit here and not rush to turn on the work computer for a few days.  Yesterday was busy - but not too bad.  I checked with legal about cancelling the board meeting for next week; they have not completed the wording on what to put on the cancellation - the reason why - and said I could wait until Monday when I return to work to send it out.  That took some pressure off me to get it done yesterday.  I was able to get some of the trainings completed during a lull time.  I had training at 3:30PM so just checked messages when I got back, finished those, and signed off.  And here we are today.

Today is hubby's 89th birthday.  I had already bought him two new pair of dress shoes and a pair of tennis shoes earlier in the month and told him he could wait for it or get it then - he took it then.  But then, I felt guilty this morning about not having a gift for him, so took some cash and put in a card and had it ready for him when he brought in my coffee.  Told him it's play money; get whatever he wanted, not necessarily what he needed.  He was surprised, and pleased.  I think.

Since I have a 9:30AM training, and he has a 12PM training today, we opted out of breakfast out, and may run out and do a quick lunch somewhere when he gets home.  He sorta asked, so I told him that we could plan a dinner tonight at Black Bear dinner.  The daughter is flying in this afternoon (I think she gets in at 1:45PM but will be spending the afternoon with her daughter.) so maybe about 5-6PM we can meet up.  Maybe I'll see if the youngest son and wife want to join us for lunch, and then the oldest son and wife (if she can get off work) for dinner.  Will have to figure out how to make this work.  Or not. Anyway, trying to make hubby feel celebrated.

Tomorrow we head out towards the northeast of the state and will eventually get to our airbnb by 4PM.  I am thinking we may leave about 9AM or so and then pause for breakfast some where - and do some shopping enroute to the location.  We also need to figure out meals for the two full days we are there.  We will probably eat out on the way back home on Sunday.  Yes, we are gone Thursday - Sunday.  

Hubby has gotten a 'help me, I've fallen' button to wear on his belt.  It came a couple weeks ago and he mentioned it to me the other night. We took a look at it and it was $59/month - so I said 'no' - cause we can find them less expensive elsewhere.  His insurance company had it sent to him.  But he has to pay the monthly fee to keep it activated.  He called to cancel as they were going to automatically take out the monies (I don't know why he gave them the bank info before).  They dropped the price down to $29 a month so he came and asked me.  He's really worried about falling while I am gone, not so much while I'm here.  Until I reminded him that he fell in the garage the other week and commented to me that if the cars were not in the garage, he don't think he could have gotten up.  I didn't even know he was home, being at the other end of the house.  So we agreed to the $29/month and he activated it yesterday afternoon.  I am going to put my house key in a hidden place and let the boys know while I'm gone where it is, in case he does fall and isn't hurt, but needs help getting up.  No need to call 911 unless an emergency. I think we have a key in a container on the porch, but only the fire department has access to this little box. I think it is still there; perhaps I ought to look.  Anyway, even though we have to pay for it, if he is out somewhere and falls (which has happened as well), he can get help and I will be notified. How many times have we laughed at that commercial?  It isn't quite as funny when it is you that is needing one, right?

I suppose I need to start packing today; I haven't done anything except get a bag out to put things in. I can easily put my clothes in it, but my books, this computer, etc., I will have to wait until morning, except I do need to take my things out of this room today as my daughter will be sleeping in here.  Yeah, I have things on the bed that I will need to remove as well.  Not much, but a few things.  I need to bring my things out I plan to take so that I don't rush and forget them in the morning.  Love that I get my own room at the airbnb.  Of course that is because I snore.  Sigh.  I saw on facebook that a certain type of bedspread could prevent my snoring.  It said that I snore because I am not in REM sleep.  It's on facebook - so does it make that true?  No, I didn't order it, but I did chuckle at it.  My doctor told me years ago I snored because I had gained weight.  Well, guess what. I've gained more weight since that time (about 20 years ago) and I snore louder.  Do you think there is something to that?

I Peter 5:7  Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

Fear of all kinds can make a mess of things, can't it?  We want to overcome our fear - of whatever it is - but we find ourselves still hanging on, as if that can make any difference.  Fear strangles the momentum that propels us to do something in the first place.  If someone steps in and takes it over, because we 'froze'.... it lowers us in more ways than one, does it not?  Fear makes the gap between where I am and trusting God seem an impossible chasm.  It's not a bad thing to fail.  It is failing to even try because of our fear that defeats us.  If we fall, and get hurt, when we attempt something - it's ok.  We tried.  If we walk away because of the fear and don't even try..... we have gained nothing.

God does not want us paralyzed in fear.  He has equipped up with comfort and reassurance.  Over and over in the Bible, He tells us 'do not fear'.

I can remember, many, many years ago, in a small town I used to live in.... I went to church with my bestest friend, Bertie.  She talked me into singing a solo, with her playing the piano, at church one Sunday.  I was nervous, and we had practiced the song many times, so I knew I could do it.  Well, I got up to sing, opened my mouth, and nothing came out. I tried and tried to sing that song, and could not get a sound to come out.  I was so nervous, so fearful, that I could not sing. After a couple minutes I just turned and walked away, totally embarrassed.  I don't think I ever went back to church after that.  The song?  I've never forgotten it.  Prayer is the key to heaven, but Faith unlocks the door.  And yet, now I can stand up in front of people and preach.... see how good God is?  I could have let that fear of losing my voice again stunt my growth in Jesus.

Joshua 1:9:  The Lord my God will be with me wherever I go.

Isaiah 43:1:  God has redeemed me and summoned me by name.  I am His.

I Peter 5:7:  I can hand Him all my anxiety because He cares for me.

2 Timothy 1:7 (ESV):  God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.

With the foundation of God's Word before us and beneath us, we can let go of any fear we are hanging on to.

Whatever fear of the unknown, real or imagined, that you find you are holding on to, let it go - and let God set you free from free and anxiety.  You are His.

Blessings!

Life is sometimes so very hard

 Last night was no exception. Sigh. I won't go into details, but let's just say that hubby and I disagreed on something, and my response to his comments did not go over well.  We didn't speak much - but in my defense, I was reading all evening (after dinner) but I was so disappointed in his comments that it didn't matter anyway.  One only sees their side of things, right?  Only one has to make mountains of things that may not even be a pimple on the horizon.  And you know it only takes one to ponder a comment, and fuel it with their own thoughts and cause great distress to one internally, until they want to 'talk about it' and get it thrown back in their face.  Ok - rambling... but ... I'm tired.  So very tired.

Erase, erase...... some things don't need to be put in to print.  

Today is my last work day this week.  I do have some things that I need to make sure happens today for work.  I actually was surprised how the prep board meeting went yesterday - they agreed to cancel the board meeting!!  I am surprised, to say the least.  Now our legal department is to send me an email on how I am to word it to the board on why we are cancelling it. Part of it, of course, is that Brett left.  AND, come to find out, and I did make mention of it, I had suggested he contact the boards (all three of them) and let the board members know he was leaving the company.  Well, the chair was on this meeting - and she said she did not receive anything.  You would have thought he would have at least called the chair of each board.  I know he did one, but obviously did not for this board.  There was silence after she made the comment of no notification.  So - I need to make sure I get it out today - or make sure they know that I will be out for the rest of the week and will need to do it on Monday.  The board meeting is currently scheduled for April 30th.  Sigh. If I had any thought it would be cancelled, we could have gone next weekend instead of this weekend - but - we obviously need to have our trip this week.

I guess I can start packing for our trip.  I did pull out a bag to put my stuff in.  Of course I plan to take my computer, and my Bible, and at least one more book and a journal.  Maybe I'll take my kindle, in case I want to read.  No, we will probably be crocheting so we can talk.  Can't read and talk. Right?  Finished one book last night.  I enjoyed the book on the Sabbath and how we can live it.  Told hubby he should read it.... but ended up putting it back on the shelf.  He has a stack of books beside his chair he is either reading or wanting to read.  I have the same. I need to weed out the ones I'm really going to read.  I have a couple, I think, that I started, but just couldn't get in to.  Does that happen to you?  You think they are going to be interesting, you've perhaps hood good reports about the books, but you start reading and..... nothing. They are just words.  You plug through, hoping something will connect.  Finally, you just give up because nothing is.  You leave the book in the stack because 'some day you might want to finish it'... right?  And I have finished books like that... but if I have something else more interesting, of course I'm going to change.

Why is life so hard at times?  

I was reading in my devotional this morning about making decisions without looking ahead to see what all it would entail.  

Isaiah 49:10    He who has compassion on them will guide them and lead them beside springs of water.

As I'm sure you know already, when I read the devotional this morning about making decisions that affect the future, my thoughts once again went to retirement.  The 'do I?' or 'don't I?" part.  Some days I am confident in my decision that I should retire.  Then the days come at me, usually when an unexpected expense happens (or even when I know a big one is coming up) and I think that I need to keep working so that we can more easily pay those bills.  (I know our yearly REC fee got raised to about $600 this year cause our neighbor has already paid it.)  The yearly and monthly bills for this place keep going up.  We received notice from our bank that our house payment is going up $50/month because of a shortage in escrow.  So from the time we moved in here close to six years ago now, things have roughly risen in cost about $400 a month, I think.  Just reviewing it in my mind.  I so want to move from here, but have to fight hubby every time I mention it.  Another story another time.  I just want a place to call 'home' with a small yard that I can plant flowers in, get me a dog to play in the back yard, and make it all homey and welcoming.  This place is not mine.  It's a house, not a home. There is a difference. 

Anyway - back to the devotional, it talked about making a decision that has long range effects.  It did cause me to think about retirement.  There are several pros, and cons, about retiring for me.  I have always been the 'breadwinner'.  Which is why hubby is so against my retirement, other than he will have me at home and 'free' to do things. (erase, erase)  Long range effects - is that as prices continue to go up - especially on things we are forced to pay for (rent, electric, fees, etc.) that would cut even deeper into our saved finances.  My neighbor, who is single (Ms. Vicky) is always complaining how hard it is to survive. She has lived her 20 years or so.  She commented on the recent increase on the REC fee (about $100 increase) (our fees have gone from $290 to whatever it is - we get in July) is nearly as much as her house payment.  And all she has is social security.  We would be reduced to that - do I want to put us in that position?

My little sister complains all the time about the two of them just living on social security - but it doesn't seem to stop her spending much.  Her hubby has been buying pallets from Amazon - he goes to get them and it can contain just about anything - he doesn't know what it is when he buys it - and then he puts on marketplace and sells them - which brings in extra money. He seems to be doing very well with it - except now she complains there is no room in the garage to park the car and the house has bicycles standing in the living room some times.  

So I guess we always complain about the future, right?  But when we know Who holds our future, and if we seek Him and ask Him to lead us (which I am trying to do), everything will be ok.  Perhaps I just need to be patient.

And being patient is hard.  Sigh.

And now - my time is gone and I need to get to work - last day!  YAY!  Maybe I will have a little more time to write in the morning - hopefully it will be something intersting.

Have an awesome day!

Blessings!

Released; no ransom paid

 Yes, I tried to give him a box to 'pay the ransom' for my box of cookies... but he refused.  Thank you, son, for picking them up for me.  And yes, I did indulge last night; it was hard to make a decision on which box to open, but finally decided on the peanut butter..... and I hesitate, but will tell, that I ate the entire sleeve of peanut butter cookies last night.  I have got to get these into the freezer!!  I did give a box of the mint cookies to hubby and told him he could 'have' those. LOL See, I do share!  I may take a box or two with me on Jailbreak - 

Jailbreak - which starts on Thursday this week!  Two days of work (today and tomorrow) and then I'm taking off for hubby's birthday.  My daughter arrives about 1:45PM on Wednesday.  I don't expect her to show up here until later in the day, wanting to spend time with her daughter and granddaughter I'm sure.  We will probably take hubby to dinner; will see how that pans out.  I should make a big deal of hubby's birthday, besides the fact I will be leaving the next morning.... he will be 89 this year...... I mean I usually do something for him.  I've already given him the gifts from me; he wanted them early.  Yes, they were things he needed, but he was glad to get them.

Church was 'ok' yesterday.  I was glad to get to chat with our pastors some.  They had a missionary speak, one that the church supports in Thailand.  They are actually doing a trip (well, they is several people from the church are going)  to Thailand to help in the missions there this fall.  One of our small group leaders is going.  It was interesting, but definitely not a 'touch the heart' message.  Since I had cooked breakfast, hubby actually said he wasn't hungry for lunch, so after stopping at Albertsons to grab milk, we headed on home. Now he has milk for his cereal this morning.

And I need to get back on track for healthy eating.  Our pastors are looking amazing. I chatted with Pastor Lindsay a bit yesterday and she mentioned they eat natural/holistic foods.... I don't think those were the words she used, but that is what comes to mind.  I'd love to hear more of what she and Pastor John form their meals from.  I knew they had done the Daniel Fast the first part of the year and I wondered if they had continued it...and asked her... but she said yes they had done it, but no, they hadn't continued it (to lose weight), but had always eaten clean foods.  Might be something I need to look at.  Sigh. Why is it so hard when I have to feed hubby?  He really isn't hard to 'feed', he eats what ever I put in front of him.  I think it is more the questioning of what I am fixing, how am I fixing it, what am I doing, etc.   I don't want to take GLP1 and my sister is trying to pressure me into it "for at least a month" and I keep telling her 'NO'.  I want to eat right (does that mean I can't have my girl scout cookies?) and drop the weight the right way. I work out twice a week.  I know walking helps, but I also know (I think I know) that 10K steps isn't always the answer.  I want to lose my fat, but I want to do it in a healthy way.  My will power just isn't always in place.  I need to think this through. Enough about that.

Back to work today and I have the first board meeting prep at 9AM.  I get to run it since Brett is gone. I think I have everything set for the meeting, but will check it again before time for the meeting.  So glad I don't have to do the next board prep - it's Friday - and I'm off on Jailbreak. Which reminds me, I need to let another person know they are 'in charge' of running the prep meeting.  She generally tries to anyway, this time I'll let her.  I still have several trainings I need to work on.  If I can get one or two out a day, I'll get them completed in no time.  Sue says she plans to take all day Wednesday to get them done; guess her meetings are such that she can be distracted from them.

I guess I can start pulling things out to take on Jailbreak, although I really don't need to.  Don't need to take much; we are only gone 4 days.  Three changes of clothes. And we won't be dressing up any; it's jeans and t-shirts.  And I think I'll take a hoodie, for we are heading north, although here in town it is to be quite warm.  I don't do cold well so willing to be prepared. :-)  I could try to figure out a couple easy meals.  Just thought about tacos.  I do love homemade tacos.  I think that will be a 'plan' to have - perhaps our second night as we will stop to eat before we pick up groceries in town, I'm sure. 

Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV):  Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

I have a lot of things going on in my mind this morning, things that I need to make decisions on, things I need to change my mind on (probably) and well, just things.  I need to trust God more that He will bring good out of things; I need to just submit and wait upon Him, rather than trying to push through my own agenda.  Do you do that?  You think you know best so you push through your own agenda - only at times, finding you would have been better off to wait?  Sigh.  Yes, waiting is so very hard, especially when you want something.  And I'm learning I need to 'wait' more than push through on decisions I make.  Sometimes I want to scream at God "I'm dying inside! Don't You care?" - and yet, I know that He does care, He does love me.  But I have to be patient and let Him lead me.  I must not push ahead and think my way is best.  I do not like to pray for patience, but I find that I am whispering it out more and more and then I tell God I didn't really mean it!  LOL  Being patient is hard!

And with that rambling, I need to get off and get ready for work.  Yes, it is nearly 'that time'.  Maybe the day will go by quickly.   Hope that you find the opportunity to set aside time for Jesus this morning. Sometimes He is the only way I can get through the day, is that I spend time chatting with Him each morning.  Sit back, have a chat with Jesus, and then start your day.  You may find it goes better than you thought it would.

Blessings!

He is holding them for ransom....

 well, that is what I took the message to read.  "You can quit being a nag at me... I got your cookies. A note will follow later with ransom demands."  Does that not mean he is holding my girl scout cookies for ransom?  I wonder if I let him have a box of his favorite ones, that he will let me have the rest?

We had a good time at the Wildlife Zoo yesterday, even though it was quite warm.  We pretty much stayed indoors with the fish, walking through the aquariums.  As we started out after those, and headed towards the other animals, hubby begged to be able to sit down.  He really did do a good job of walking, although he lagged behind some.  We sat for about ten minutes and started to head out again when we saw they had a 'safari train'.  What a joke.  $6 each for tickets, for which my youngest son paid for all of us, we all got on the train which was the shortest $6 train ride one could have.  We saw some animals, yes, but don't call it a 'safari train' when it didn't take you into the safari!!  Hubby had had enough of the heat by then, and the walking - and I'm not being critical - but we decided to leave at that time.  We had picked up a granddaughter and her two children and one was getting really 'wild' because he was getting tired, I think. So I pretty much decided that we would leave, and the rest of them could go ahead to the safari section and see whatever else they wanted to.  We found out way out, and we took the granddaughter and the children home first before heading home.   It felt good to be included in a family 'thing' and we enjoyed being outdoors and part of the activity.  We did stop at One Stop Nutrition and got our sugar-free butterfinger shakes and then headed home settled in.  I did take a short nap, but hubby says he didn't - and that's fine.  I like short naps!!  They refresh us.  Right?

Today is Sunday and we will be going to the noon service.  I understand they have moved the high schoolers to the noon service as well starting today.  Hopefully it will fill up this service more.   I probably should finish in here and go fix a big breakfast.... if I don't, hubby will want to stop and eat after we get out - probably about 1:30-ish.  I could make french toast today; we haven't had it for awhile.  I didn't stop and get milk yesterday so we don't have that.... but will need to get it today so that hubby can have his cereal.  He will probably just eat a banana this morning.  I know he will starve to death if I should die first! LOL  Or break the bank going out to eat!  After our shakes yesterday afternoon, I did not cook dinner.... I wasn't hungry.  Hubby made a comment that maybe he would eat some cheese and crackers - but didn't get them.  While he was taking a shower a bit later, I fixed him a plate of cheese and crackers and he devoured them when he got out of the shower.  But fix them himself?  Nope; he just mentioned it.  I deserve a break from cooking too, right?

Jailbreak Getaway XI is this week!  Time is flying by.  I work Monday and Tuesday this week and Wednesday will spend with hubby; take him out to eat, I guess.  My daughter flies in at 1:45PM and my granddaughter will be picking her up at the airport.  We will probably go out to dinner early evening... I'm thinking Black Bear Diner, but will see.  Thursday I will be heading out on Jailbreak with the others. Hubby keeps asking me when we will be leaving.  I finally have decided to tell him 9AM (which is probably too early) because we will stop for brunch before heading towards Pine and the airbnb.  We can't check in until about 4PM I think it is, but we will stop at the grocery store and will possibly do some shopping while we are waiting on time.  I probably should come up with a couple meal plans so that we can get the right groceries.  And I need to pull yarn together that I want to take.  Our 'down time' is usually sitting and crocheting.  The airbnb has a large back yard and I'm thinking it has something out there for the little one to play on.  Will see, I guess.  We hope to do some sitting outside and breathing fresh air and just relaxing.  The best part?  I'm off work Wednesday-Thursday-Friday this week. Yay me!

Isaiah 58:13-14:  If you keep your feet from breaking the Sabbath and from doing as you please on my holy day, if you call the Sabbath a delight and the Lord's holy day honorable, and if you honor it by not going your own way and not doing as you please or speaking idle words, then you will find your joy in the Lord.

So many times, we have forgotten what the Sabbath really means, haven't we?  Sometimes it is difficult to pause and let go of the demands of the mind of things to do, places to go, people to see.  It isn't always 'just a Sunday' to make a Sabbath, nor a Saturday.  Many times we cram so many things into the weekend, removing the holiness of having a Sabbath day, and making it instead one of pleasure.   What does the term 'Sabbath' mean to you?  We often think of it as just being a Saturday or a Sunday, don't we?  I'm just as guilty as you are, I'm sure.  Yes, I still do my 'quiet time' in here, spending my time with God - but then, don't I run off and do my own thing the rest of the day?  

What if, we truly paused on today, which for Christians is Sunday, and just took time to REST.  Take a nap if you want to.  REST.  Breathe.  REST.  Relax.  REST.  Allow your body to be filled with the rest of God.  So many times we are thinking of all the things we can cram in a weekend.  Many times there are those who have to work today.

I can remember way back when I was first married, and my in-laws refused to go out to eat on Sundays because others would have to work.  It made perfect sense.  They believed in REST on Sundays.  And when people are having to work, because people come to the restaurant to eat, they were not going to be a part of that.  Every Sunday Mom would fix a good roast with potatoes and carrots and when we could, we would gather around the table to eat together.... and then take naps.  I was the 'only girl' besides Mom there for awhile. 

I have a smile on my face right now - my oldest son is sending me photos of our great-granddaughter opening her birthday gift.  I sent a puzzle as the card - and it seems it found interest - even before opening her gift!  LOL I had to laugh when she said she was going to replace the puppies with kittens! I bought it because it was a Barbie - didn't think she prefers kittens to dogs! 

Well, I need to get moving if I am going to fix french toast this morning and then have time to get ready for church.  Hope you have an amazing day today.  Take some time for a Sabbath Rest.  I'm reading a book now on the Sabbath.... I may share about it in the coming days.

Blessings!

Saturday fun

 Today is going to be a good day.  A busy day, at that.  Soon we will be going to pick up a granddaughter and her two children, then heading over to the VFW post to witness the ceremonial swearing in of a grandson into the Army by my son, a retired captain of the U.S. Army.  It will be very short, lasting less than 5 minutes, I'm sure.  My son plans to have sandwiches available afterwards and then we will head over to the Wildlife Zoo with my son and his wife, a granddaughter, and four of the great-grandchildren.  All under the age of 5.  Hubby has his doubts if he can make it - and I've already given him a lecture.  Sigh.  Quit thinking the negative "I can't walk that far!" mentality!!  

Hubby has agreed to take a walking stick to use as we walk.  I have thrown a cane into the car that I will take 'just in case'.  And I will use it if I need to (hip problems lately, and today my legs are hurting from the leg workout the other day!!).  I plan to enjoy the day.  Hubby came in this morning with my coffee and asked me to feel his forehead with the question "Do I feel hot to you?" (his first excuse?)  I touched his forehead and told him "No, you are cold and sweaty (yeck)".  So he comments "Oh, it must be the cold sweats I get."  Sigh.  Seriously, I will leave him sitting in the cafe while I do the zoo with the others; he is not going to make me leave early just because he doesn't want to walk anymore.  THAT's why he can't walk - he sits all the time!!  Sorry, not sorry.  Sometimes I just get so frustrated with him!  He doesn't walk - that's why he can't walk very far - not that he can't - he won't.  Ok - so that is just my opinion.

Don't tell me you can't walk unless both of your legs are broken!  I'll get you a walker if I need to!  LOL In fact, if you remember, at his cardiologist appointment a couple weeks ago he was asked if he walked - and he casually said he could walk a block.  To which I responded - no, he doesn't walk and if he does, it might be half a block - and that he falls frequently.  To which the doctor said 'Maybe you need to get a walker... or a wheelchair...." and I'll leave that there for you know hubby's response to that!  His pride will be his downfall, for sure!

Although.... we went to Red Lobster for dinner.  Another one I'm going to mark off our list.  We hadn't been there probably in two years or more.  But, wanting something different for dinner, we went.  Hubby ordered the shrimp trio.  I ordered a parm crusted chicken with broccoli and french fries.  Absolutely no taste.  I even scraped the crust off the chicken and the chicken had no taste.  I ate most of the broccoli and some of the fries and about 1/2 the chicken - and left the rest.  Hubby ate all the popcorn shrimp, and the shrimp out of the shrimp scampi, but he left everything else.  We just were not impressed with any great flavors.  Afterwards we went to Cold Stone - which was a big mistake.  We ate it all.... but it didn't help the stomach any.  

Anyway, during the 'course of conversation' we had during the meal, hubby mentioned he had received a box from BCBS but he hadn't opened it yet and he was thinking of returning it.  As I am usually 'not allowed' to get the mail (unless I sneak and get it anyway) I wasn't aware he had received a package.  He said that what was inside was an 'alert necklace' - you know "help me I've fallen".  I guess BCBS called him one time and talked with him about it and he said he didn't want it, but they sent anyway.  I can't believe he said that the charge is $40 a month to activate it and he didn't want to pay that every month.  So I told him we'd look at it this weekend and see what it was, that if his insurance company sent it to him, it's possible that they will pay the $40 a month.  I will look at it later today or tomorrow. But I told him he needs it as he has fallen and told me about it later.  A couple weeks ago he fell in the garage. I told him I didn't even know he was home, and if he had hit his head or broken something, I would not have known for hours.  And, with the fact I will be gone 4 days this next week and he will be home alone, it might be something he will need should he fall and not have his phone to call for help.  So there is that.... sigh.... it sucks getting old, ya know?  But I will be calling him every evening so if I don't get an answer one night, I may be calling one of my boys to run over and check on him. Which reminds me, I need to hide a key somewhere outside so that they can get in the house.

And yet, I know people nearing 100 that still walk upright and they may use a cane or a walker, but they are still alive and moving, if you know what I mean!  I plan to be one of those!  I will force myself to keep moving and walking.  I get on the treadmill for 10-15 minutes when I go to the gym and wait for my time with Morgan, rather than just sitting at the table waiting on her.  She says that hubby tries to do that and she goes and tells him to get on the bike or treadmill.  One day he told her 'NO' - and that did not go over well with her.  I think now he tries to get there just before time for his training so he doesn't have to.  Hey - 10 minutes on the treadmill is moving my body!!

Ok, enough of hubby bashing.  Sigh. Some days.....  I'm waiting on him to tell me he will go to the ceremony today but that I will need to bring him back home before going tot he Wildlife Zoo.  And I will - for he is not going to ruin my day with my granddaughter and great-grandchildren!

My daughter will be flying in on Wednesday - I forget what time - and we will get ready to head out Thursday morning for our Jailbreak Getaway XI.  It's hard to believe this is the 11th year of doing it.  And it began with me putting a note in Christmas stockings that I want 1:1 time with each child.  Only with my daughter - it has mostly been - well, Jailbreak has included her daughter and now her daughter.... which is great - 4 generations!  And when she was in town, we occasionally got Tuesday nights together by ourselves.  But now, with her being away, Jailbreak is it - and that's ok.  My youngest son has perhaps 2-3 times over the past 11 years met me for lunch or dinner or took me to see Sound of Music (special memory) - just the two of us.  But my oldest son has been really good at taking me out to eat occasionally - and at times even having to include hubby to keep peace in the family.  (Lord, bless him for that!)  But I enjoy just as much his unplanned visits where he will just come and sit with us and chat.  I treasure those times.

And now I am rambling, I see. Oh yes!  I finished listening to the book yesterday.  It did not end the way - well, let's just say it was totally unexpected and I had no clue that was going to happen!!  The name of the book?  Theo of Golden by Allen Levi.  It is not a book I would normally pick up to read. But I enjoyed it immensely.  I think I got more out of it on audible than I would have in reading it because the person reading it changed his voice for each character.  It's a story about a stranger who goes to the town of Golden, Georgia and notices portraits hanging in a coffee shop and starts purchasing them and gifting them back to the people the portrait captured.  I will leave it there, for I don't want to give any of it away.  My stepdaughter had read it a few months ago and posted on facebook what a good book it was - so I decided to give it a try.  That is how I ended up with it.  I had a credit on audible so 'bought' it.  I would highly recommend it - whether you read it or listen to it on audible.  It's not a 'Christian' book like I usually read.... but I did enjoy listening to it.

And with that - I will jump off here and take a quick shower to get ready for the ceremony and the zoo. I hear hubby shaving so he is going. He hasn't stuck his head in to tell me he is feeling bad.  LOL Isn't that how we usually get out of going to things we don't want to do? We all do it.  We convince ourselves we feel bad.  But then, he does want to go to the ceremony.  Will see how he handles life after that.

Have an amazing day - do something kind for someone.

Blessings!

My babies have hatched!

 And I almost missed it!!  I started to go out the front yesterday and saw papa quail with mama quail - papa jumped down when the door opened, so I decided not to go out.  A few hours later I heard talking on the front porch.  Hubby wasn't home, so I wasn't sure who it was - got up and opened the front door.  It was our mail lady and she was standing there talking to all the baby quail that were running around!  There were about 6 still in the pot so I ran back in to get my phone so I could video some of it.  She said that when she came up, she startled mama and papa quail and they took off - and then all the babies started jumping out of the pot and chasing after them.  I was able to video several who were running all over the place.  I'm not sure where all twelve went (as all eggs were open) - but I picked up a couple and took to the hedge they were all running in to.  I sure hope they all made it back to mama and papa.  Would be so much fun to see them all running down the sidewalk together, and know that 'I' provided a safe place for them to hatch.  Now that they are gone, I will add more dirt (cause mama quail kicked a lot of dirt out to make her nest), and stick in more of the plants that have roots growing.  Get that pot filled back up with plant.  It's kind of sad now that the eggs have hatched - what am I going to talk about?

Hubby has headed to his bible study and then will go visit Chuck afterwards, which means he won't be back home until about 11AM.  I have a morning to myself. :-)  Maybe I can finish listening to the audible - I think I have two hours left on that book - and then I'll share about it.  I could have listened last night, but I dug out my DVD player and put in season one of The Chosen.  I want to watch it all the way through (I have the DVDs through season 5.  Waiting on Season 6.   So I quit watching after 4 episodes of season one because hubby was due home.  When he came in and asked what I did (why does he always have to know what I did in my free time?) I told him that I had started watching The Chosen.  And THEN he tells me that he wanted to watch it all as well!  UGH.  I could watch the first four episodes again - not a big deal.  He shows no interest until I do it without him.  I see there is a way I can hook the DVD player up to the TV - which would be much better, but I'm wanting more to get our real DVD player hooked up to the TV. No one seems to know how.  But Bret, our bible study leader, used to do this for Sears - so he knows. If I haven't figured it out (I'm going to try again this morning) by May 6, I will ask him to set it up. At least he knows what he is doing.  My big brother tried to help me several months ago, but I didn't have the right part. Bret told me what to buy and I have it - I just need to follow through with it.

Ephesians 2:10 (NIV):  For we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

Have you ever wanted something, and kept putting it off, waiting on that perfect sale, or that perfect timing...... and something changed things?  Say for example you wanted a new coat.  Granted, out here you definitely do not need a coat for long!  But let's say you wanted a new jacket, a new coat.  You saved for it, and saw exactly what you wanted, the exact color, the right style, but it just wasn't in your budget just yet.  BUT, you had a coupon, but the coupon wasn't good for another week, so you decided to wait one more week to go in and get it.  

Then you go to a grocery store to pick up a gallon of milk and some bread.  You walk outside and there is a young mother and a couple babies, just sitting there.  Not asking for anything; just sitting.  You remember back how hard it was when you were that age with small children.  How tight money was, how difficult it was to just make ends meet.  You hear one of the babies asking for something to eat, and how the tears gathered in mama's eyes.  Then you feel that tug on your heart, and if you are listening, you hear God's whisper to you, "give her the money you have saved for that new coat, so that she can buy groceries."  You have no other desire but to obey God, but still, you really wanted that coat that you had saved for!  What do you do?  You cheerfully write that check, or hand over the cash, to the young mother and tell her to go buy her children something to eat.  And you walk away with new found joy, that even though you now can not get that coat, God used you as His handiwork, to do good.  He brought that woman there with her babies 'for such a time as this', so that you could touch her life and the lives of her children.  And all you have to do  is be obedient.

I don't often have opportunities to help others.  Usually it is because I have no money, no resources - and now it is because I work from home so I am isolated from people.  But sometimes, God has me do things that even surprise me.  We don't have much, but it all belongs to God anyway, so if He impresses - or tells - me/us - that we need to do something, I want to always obey.  Sometimes it is a need at the church that is presented and I feel we need to 'do something' - so I ask God what He wants.  Sometimes we do, sometimes we don't help.  But the key is to always be available to whatever God shows you that He wants to use you.  He prepares the situation to give you the opportunity to serve.  Our 'job' is to be ready to be used.

I have a lot of 'stuff' here at home - I've talked about it often.  If any one needs anything, if I'm not using it, I'm more than willing for them to take it.  I'm sure you are the same way.  I always over buy and over want - if you know what I mean.  My wants usually exceed my needs - always.  I can get by with so much less.  

I guess a lot of that has to do with my upbringing.  I always have said my parents provided for what I needed; I rarely got what I wanted.  I had two dresses growing up.  I would wear one two-three days a week, then switch to the other.  I didn't think anything of it - that was just all I had.  I never wanted more - I thought all families were like ours.  We got by, always had food on the table.  LOL  I remember mother cooking friend chicken - my very favorite - and we were all 'allowed' one piece of chicken as we sat around the table.  We had lots of fried potatoes (I can make really good ones - or I used to) and pork and beans and hamburger mixed.  Or I would mash potatoes and have pork and beans with hamburger.  That was our dinner many nights.  Haven't done that in years - might be fun to make again. :-)

Ok - time to get the work computer on - after all, it is Friday and I need to work one more day this week.  It's been really quiet with Brett gone - and I'm grateful.  But Monday will be busy with two prep sessions for an upcoming board.  But then - next week is a two day week for me - and playtime!!  Whoo hooo!!

Have an amazing day and do something kind for someone.  You never know whose life you will touch.

Blessings!

Another day closer to the weekend

 We had a nice surprise yesterday.  My oldest son came out for a short visit and brought birthday gifts for hubby, whose birthday is next week.  Hubby is still talking about the wrapping of the gifts - he thinks it is hilarious!  And I'll leave that there. But the 'theme' is one that is fun.  Hubby loved his Gibbs NCIS shirt and is interested in the book. He's in to that political stuff - not me!!  But he was very pleased with the gifts and appreciative.  And I loved getting to visit with my son until time for a meeting I had to attend, and then a little after.  

We went to our bible study last night and it was interesting.  I know hubby means well, but between you and me, he sometimes blurts out things that everyone, including me, looks at him and we just have that 'what?' look, I'm sure.  I know what he means to say/do by his words, but he sometimes takes things words being said out of context and comments on them.  This isn't the first time.  I'm not saying he shouldn't comment about things, so I'm not sure how to approach it.  He isn't necessary 'wrong' in what he is saying, but it's the way he says it and the words he uses.  With all these years of bible studies and reading, I'm sure he knows way more than I do - no dispute there.  But he did this at another time (not with this group) that I was with him - one of those "you need to stop this talk right now" type of tone.  I know at the other time he was implying they were gossiping, which they weren't, honestly.  I don't even remember what we were discussing last night (I wasn't talking, thank goodness, just listening to the conversation - of which he was not participating in) and he blurts out an admonition of something. Total silence.  Then people just continued talking.  I always notice when he does this and I'm with him, he looks at me, as if to get my approval.  I'm sure the shock on my face at his 'commanding outburst' throws him off guard. LOL 

Looks like with travels by our leaders (of the bible study) we will not be meeting again until May 6th.  That gives us even more time to get over these coughs.  I think I'm nearly done with it - I'm actually sleeping through the night deeply now - but I heard hubby coughing quite a bit this morning after he got up.  Of course I'm taking my olive leaf and sambucol to get totally over it.  I wonder if he is..... I'll have to remind him.  We will be hosting again on May 6th - I'm hoping my oven/stove will be back to working by then. Hubby called the other day; supposedly there are only 3 places in the US who can fix it - and it's at some place in Chicago (for the last month!) and they are rebuilding the control board. Come on, people - it's only 3x6" so how long does it take?  It's getting frustrating, for sure.  

I did get my hair done yesterday afternoon - and I love how the color falls throughout.  Didn't get a trim; just the color this time.  Working my way back to natural over the course of time.  I ended up working until 5PM to make up the extra time I took off.  This morning I have an 8:30AM training with Morgan. She had a cancelation so asked if I wanted it.  That will give me three trainings this week.  I took it - with hubby grumbling that she never gives him a third one.  I told him it was because he doesn't respond back fast enough - and I usually do.  Well, when she asked for our schedules for next week, he jumped right up and went to tell her, way before I did. LOL  With my taking three days off next week (W_T_F) for hubby's birthday and jailbreak, I didn't have much time to give her.  

I think hubby and I will find a hotel here in town for July 1-3.  We both have doctor Mark appointments on July 1st, which will take 3-4 hours (considering 50 minutes driving time, the visit - which isn't always an hour, but could be), and then back home.  I suggested to him last night that since I am off July 3rd already (July 4th is on Saturday this year so we get Friday off), why don't I take July 1 and 2 off and we go to a hotel to 'get away'.  He agreed.  So I will put in to take those two extra days off.  Then we have our August getaway.... and then I will need to start building my PTO time back up.  I have to take PTO for the holidays (it's supposedly included in the time we 'earn' each month) so it quickly depletes any time.  I've gone my holidays already in through Labor Day.  After that is Thanksgiving.... and I'm hoping to retire before then... but will see.  

Sue told me that she had told some directors that she was retiring July 31st.  She and I have worked with them since MCP days - then Centene - and now here.  Their first question to her was ...."is N going to retire the same time you do?"  She told them no.  But it's funny because everyone knows we are attached.  But no, I would not retire the same time as her - she deserves all the attention.  Someone was asking yesterday about her retirement party and is already on it to plan.  I just kept my mouth shut.  I will get with her in a bit and ask what can I do.  We will have a celebration in the Mesa office - which is great for me.  I will drive down for that.  I don't want to do a hotel room thing. And I definitely do not want to drive to the downtown office!  I still need to decide what to get her; she has been my closest friend for over 30 years.  What shall I get her?

One of the EAs I work with called me yesterday and asked me about retirement.... I told her 'between you and me' (and I can trust her), I would like to retire November 20th, but I am in a battle with hubby to do so.  We talked about it for awhile.  I think she plans to retire in another year.  Her husband has a pension from the military, plus from a job, and she has a pension from some place so they will be ok financially.  And that's our problem.  Because hubby never held a job long enough to get a 401K built up, or a pension, and quit work at 70 with no regards for our finances.  And I'll leave that there for it is a very sore spot for me, and makes me angry.  Can we make it on my 401k (which isn't a whole lot) and our social security?  I think we can; it will be tight, and I will have to cut back on gift-giving and spending - but I think we can.  After the subject of my retiring came up again last night at bible study, on the way home, hubby says that we need to sit down and go over all the bills again (we never have so I don't know where the 'again' is coming from) to see if it is possible for me to retire.  Maybe the best thing is for me to take FMLA from work - unpaid - for perhaps a month, just to see how not having a pay check coming in will affect us.  But I'm willing to work, and would be willing to find another job nearby - but I think I just want a break from constantly sitting in front of the computer. Not that it's hard work. Take about the board meetings and the preps for it and I'd probably be happy. :-)

Today's devotion was another good one.  Talks about taking what we have, where we are, and using it for God.  You know my heart has always dreamed of working at a church. And I don't know that there would be a paid position place at where we go now.  Volunteers are always welcome, of course.  erase erase.  Sigh.  Obviously my dreams and God's plans for me are not the same. 

Judges 3:31  After Ehud came Shamgar son of Anath, who struck down six hundred Philistines with an oxgoad. He too saved Israel.

I am a woman who wants to make a difference for Christ.  I want my life and legacy to count for something with eternal significance.  I want to stand before God one day knowing I fulfilled His purposes for me.  But I always feel like the problems are too big and I'm too small and unknowledgeable to work with them.

But we learn from Shamgar that he offered himself, right where he was.  He used what God had given him, and in doing so, he was an ordinary person, just like you and me, doing an ordinary job.  What he did - killing the Philistines - 600 of them! - with an oxgoad, is taking what he had and using it.  What is an oxgoad?  This is unreal.  It's a cattle prod.  Shamgar was a farmer, with a cattle prod, and with that tool he killed 600 Philistines!  Not that I should go out and kill anyone with my cup of coffee and a book - which realistically is all I have.  

But what if I sat down long enough to listen to God and write what I hear God saying to me daily?  What if I could write a devotional, a journal, a story?  You know, years and years ago, I always dreamed of being an author.... and was so thrilled with my oldest son, and his daughter, both love to write stories. My son has a beautiful knack of saying words that keep your interest in his stories, and I love when he does write.  But he doesn't share much, and when he does, I read.

And with all this - my time is gone this morning and I need to kick on the work computer.  Yes, it is that time - and I need to get dressed for the gym as well, for I will need to leave about 7:45 to head that way.

Hope that your day is amazing and full of abundant....

Blessings!

Got lots of calls done yesterday

 I did get all my work done (ok, I just had one meeting to create for Sue) yesterday and was able to catch up on some phone calls.  My daughter called. My youngest son called. I called my little brother. My big brother and I chatted on text.  My little sister called. I talked to her the longest. We hadn't talked in a few days.  I didn't complete any training yesterday, but I did get caught up on family stuff. Does that count as anything?  At least today should not be telephone calls.  And I do have one appointment.

My appointment?  I had to change Saturday's appointed to get my hair done - so am getting it done today. Yes, I'm taking off during work hours.  But that's ok.  I will leave home about 1:15PM or so and head over to see 'Joe', my hairdresser.  We used to call them beauticians - what do we call them now?  Anyway - Joe was able to give me an appointment this afternoon so I took it. Sue won't mind.  I'll jump on the computer when I get back home (probably about 4-ish) and clear up any messages.  Then tonight we are finally going to our bible study small group.  It's at a member's house in Surprise.  In two weeks we will host the bible study.  Our sickness postponed us hosting or even attending the past two - but we both are well enough to make it tonight.  It will be good to see our friends.

I'm still listening to the audible book I told you about.  I backed it up a couple chapters last night and re-listened, for I thought I had heard someone had died. He had not. But it is in an interesting spot right now and I had to shut it down to go to bed.  I think I have less than two hours left to listen to the book.  Maybe I should take it with me to get my hair done - while my hair is being highlighted under the dryer, I can listen to it.  Oh - no I can't.  I had bought those cheap headsets that go over the head. Duh, my hair will be in a plastic bag in the dryer- can't wear the headset. Ok - good thought.

In this new devotional I've been reading, it seems like every day my heart gets stirred with something she says.  I haven't read anything from this person before. I've always read books, usually by men, that teach me something.  But this devotional, in it she is getting to my heart. My longings. My desires. I've only been reading my daily portions for about a week now, and I have not been disappointed. I don't usually read books that touch on real life like this.  It's hard to explain. I'm sure I have read books similar to this in the past - but this one is what I am reading now.

Today she quoted Isaiah 30:21:  "Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it."

How many times have we missed God's invitation to do something?  We walk by someone who looks troubled, and we see them, but don't pause to say hello, or ask how they are doing.  We see a discarded bag or cup in a parking lot and instead of pausing to pick it up to put in the trash, we walk right by it.  These are just simple things, and yet, we ignore them.  We get caught up in our thoughts, in our busyness.  We know we should pause and say hello, or pause and pick up that trash - and yet we blatantly ignore it.

Was it God putting someone in front of us as we pass by, or did He take us to that particular spot where the cup was thrown?  Maybe. Maybe not. But what if it is God who did that?  What if He is trying to get our attention?  What if He is wanting us to be His hands and His feet, and touch this world in a small way?  Lile things like saying "How are you doing?" and pausing long enough to hear the answer. Or the little thing of picking up that broken glass or the cup thrown away and putting it in a trash can. Not for anyone to see you doing it, but to be obedient to what God has placed before you?

Many times over the years I have prayed that God would show me the path He wanted me to take, that I would walk in it.  I never felt I got the answer I wanted.  Perhaps that is the problem.  Maybe He did take me to the path He wanted me to take - and I chose a different one.  I look back over my life and just see so many mistakes.  Some made from ignorance. Some made because I wasn't taught them. Some because I was openly defiant and wanted to do life my way.  And here I am today. Still hurting, still struggling to be 'God's girl' - and yet, who am I to say that I'm not?  Have I made my own rules on what I should be like?  Does He not love me the way I am? Does He not forgive me when I seek after Him and ask for forgiveness?  Does He not gather me into His arms and call me His beloved child? Ah, the yes answers I do receive from Him.  

He has not forsaken me. Many times I have chosen to be silent when I should have spoken up. I can remember a time when all I could do was talk about Jesus.  But over the years, and especially since I have been forced to work from home and becoming isolated, the opportunities to share have become minimal. Yes, I have changed over the years, but I remember those times when I could remember the stories of old and could teach and .... be alive.  I feel that part of me has faded into memory at times. But how I long for those days when I felt so alive in Him!  I feel I know what has happened, and I'm not going to give my thoughts on that or point any fingers.  

Reminds me of the song, This little light of mine, I'm going to let shine. This little light of mine, I'm going to let it shine. This little light of mine, I'm going to let it shine, let it shine, let it shine, let it shine."

Of course there are more verses to it, but you know the song - did you find your mind singing it as you read it?  What are you doing with that little light of yours that used to shine for Jesus?  Do you remember when you first chose Jesus and wanted to walk with Him?  Remember how you glowed with the knowledge that you were His?  Then life entered.  Reality hits. People who tear you down instead of building you up.  Discouragement instead of encouragement. Watching people who said one thing but their behavior showed another.  Life being sucked out, and the light inside of you falters.

Don't give up.  Run back to Jesus and ask Him to re-light that light inside of you.  Let your light shine so that the world will know Whose you are. You will never regret running to Jesus.  He is waiting for you with open arms.

"This is the way, walk in it."  Will you take that path?

Blessings!