Trying to find myself...

 If I'm not physically lost, am I still lost?  I could be.... and sometimes feel like I am.  You have heard the saying of 'getting lost in a book' or getting lost in an activity', right?  For some reason, I feel like I have gotten lost in 'life'.  I'm tired and struggle (mentally, not physically so much), to even want to do anything. Have you ever felt that way?  Is this a form of depression, that one doesn't want to do anything?  I'm not 'sad'... nor 'lonely'... I'm just tired.  Guess it is a good thing I have a wellness checkup next week - my yearly physical - to make sure all is well physically.  

After work yesterday I got cleaned up and told hubby he was taking me out to dinner before we went to the prayer meeting at church.  We hadn't been to Coco's for several months due to slow service.  Apparently many others haven't been going there either.  Yesterday there were about 4 cars in the parking lot, and when we went in, we were placed in a section that is used for overflow. Why?  The air conditioning was out on the other side.  Coco's must be doing very poor business..... the air conditioner was out on that side the last time we were there.  They must be getting ready to close this one.  The food was good, though.  I had salmon (not as good as Mercer's, but it was 2nd place), baked potato and broccoli.  And, what we didn't know, being Wednesday, it was free pie day.  We got two slices of pie - but I had mine put in a box and we handed it off to an elderly man at church last night.  We shared the other piece.  

Wow, that was startling!  I could hear something going on next to my window in here so jumped up to open the shutters - to find hubby at the window watering the plants.  Wasn't expecting him to be 'right there' - but he didn't see me as we have screens on the windows - and he wouldn't have expected to see me either.

Talked to my little brother yesterday and had an email from my little sister.  Both are heading to Tennessee to visit relatives.  My dad's family, and my mother's family, each had a family reunion on Labor Day.  Mother's family would also have an 'auction' in which handmade items (quilts, canning items, afghans, etc.) were donated and people bid on them.  It was always fun and mother always made a quilt to take down and donate.  The money collected always went to the person who maintained the cemetery behind the church at Pleasant Hill, I think it was called.  The name 'Cumberland' comes to mind too for some reason.  Anyway - a majority of my great-greats and my granny and grandpa are buried there.  I haven't been back to Tennessee since 1982 - before we moved out of state.  I miss those days of seeing family at least once a year.   I have a photo somewhere - unless I already let my youngest have it - of his shoulder all bandaged up.... he had taken a tumble out of the vehicle his dad was driving.... while he was driving!  I think he's holding a coke bottle too.  Red shorts. Shirtless.  I think.  I'm going w-a-y back in memory now.  Loved going to Tennessee and being with family.  

We have one aunt left of my dad's siblings and I think my little brother and sister plan to get over to see her.  My older brother goes to Tennessee fairly frequently and he sees her, plus all the relatives on my dad's side.  My little sister and brother usually just go see the relatives on our mother's side.  Interesting. We had a cousin from my dad's side go to Indiana last April and neither my little brother nor little sister wanted to make the effort to see them - even at their hotel.  Sad.  

Hubby has another breakfast with a friend this morning and then needs to go to his doctor for lab work today.  He has such a rough life.  Oh - I mentioned to him yesterday - after he was gone 3 hours for his breakfast with another friend - that I was thinking of putting Life 360 back on his phone.  Can you believe he exploded on me with 'so it's ok if you track me, but I can't track you?'  I explained that I would be on his Life 360 as well UNLESS he started watching my every move as he had done before and our pastor had told him to delete it.  But when he is out and about.... and I explained that I know he is getting more confused (but he always gets where he is going, he says!) and I need to know where he is exactly in case something happens and he totally forgets where he is.  He didnt like my saying he gets confused and all.... but he finally, begrudginly said, "fine! go ahead and put it on my phone!"  I haven'ty yet.  It's for his benefit when, like yesterday, he is gone 3 hours for breakfast and I had no idea if he was still there or if he had driving somewhere and gotten lost.  I don't really go anywhere so he doesn't need to track me, and I will turn the tracker off if he goes back to watching me every minute I'm gone.  Yes, he does that.

Psalm 118:24 (NKJV):  "This is the day the Lord has made; We will rejoice and be glad in it."

I admit, sometimes it is hard to be joyful first thing in the morning - especially me, since I am not a morning person.  Now if a grandchild (or great grandchild) was here, I guarantee you I would be up with joy!  Some days it is just hard to face the day.  Right now I'm watching the clock - again - not joyful for the day, cause I got to get up and turn the work computer on and get ready to start working. And I'm feeling the need for 'space'.... some of you will understand that need, others will not.  I enjoy being with people, don't get me wrong.... but I also enjoy my times alone...and especially when I can be alone with God.

In fact, this morning, I was mulling around in my mind again when I can take a day off to enclose myself somewhere (probably in this room) and just spend it with God.  I miss those days of the hermitage, as I've mentioned many times before.  I'd go to a hotel for a day/night, but hubby insists he go too - and I'd pay for two separate rooms to totally be alone - but he won't have it.  He just doesn't get my need.  So I make do the best I can.  But I do need to plan something - soon - even if it is just staying here in the room from 4AM - 5PM.  You know I'd have to figure out dinner ....

Do you ever have those urges of just wanting to be alone with God?  For some of you, probably not.  But surely you wish sometimes for even a couple hours with no responsibilities, no nothing, to sleep, to read, to cook, to whatever - alone.... ??  Am I the only one?  I love being with family, but I miss the times alone I used to have with God..... and I need to find the time again to just focus upon Him.

And you do too - whether you know Him or not.  Mark your calendar to spend some time - even an hour - and just sit and take that time to think about your relationship with Jesus, and how your can be refreshed in Him.  It's well worth it.

Blessings!

Tired? Or just the weather..... who knows!

 Went to bed at my usual time last night - around 8:30PM; I slept all night - and didn't hear nor feel the buzz of my watch alarm this morning.  I woke up around 5AM and struggled to get up, wanting to go back to sleep.  Did vacation do us in that we want that extra couple hours of sleep now, instead of getting up at 4AM?  I've gotten up - mostly awake - at 4AM for several years - why am I struggling so now to get up most days and want to go back to sleep?  I thought older people didn't need as much sleep...perhaps that thought is wrong?

Yesterday was busy at work, but other than that, the day wasn't too bad.  I did have the conversation with the youngest on the how the day before transpired.  Nothing I can do about any of it.  I listened, made my comments, and let it go.  Work was busy and I left things to do first thing this morning.  Went to my daughter's last night for our 'girls night out' and we did our usual... and then I came home.  I guess I got to bed around 9PM - not 8:30, for I didn't get home until about 8:40PM.  Oh well.  

I hear the landscapers out this morning.  Ms. Amy's hedge has a tree growing out of it and they have left it - and now it is about six foot high -  I've argued with hubby about it (he tried to tell me it was on Ms. Amy's side, therefore her responsibility - until he actually went out and looked at it and had to agree with me.  Don't you just 'hate' it when people come back after you have proved them wrong and they say, "I tried to tell you it was growing in the hedge but you kept saying no."  Sounds like they are cutting it down now, but I'm not going to get up and look.

Today is one of my boss' birthday - and I forgot until yesterday - so I ordered cookies and chocolate coverd pretzels to be delivered to him this morning.  It's harder getting for a man than a woman, but he has young kids so try to get edible things they all can enjoy.  My favorite boss' birthday is October 1 and we were going to meet on October 4th for our 'admin meeting', but had to move it yesterday to September 22nd.... which means I only have a few weeks to figure out what to get her for her birthday. And at the moment, I have no idea.  I will have to be watching all the sales ads that pop up everywhere to see if there is anything she may like.  

Hubby just popped in to tell me the landscaper is here (duh, I hear them) but they told him they were going to be working with the water pressure on the popups outside, so if I hear the knocking in the wall, that is what it is.  They think it is just the water pressure backing up in the pipes.  My question is why is it over the past two months the water pressure is backing up so bad that it even knocks at all - let alone loud enough to wake me out of a sound sleep.  It didn't knock last night.  Not sure if I heard it at all yesterday, but the night before it was extremely loud.  Will see if I hear it today.  I just don't want the water pipe to burst within the wall - and then we'd really have problems!

Hubby usually has an 8:30AM workout session today, but he tells me he doesn't have any more this week and goes back to two a week next week.  I may send our trainer a text and confirm - but he may be right.  Our training is for 8 sessions a month... two a week is what we are doing.  BUT - when there are five weeks - which there was in July - it messes up the regular months.  I talked with our trainer a bit about it the other night. He said that in the long months, it may feel like we are not getting all our training, but if we continue to just do twice a week as we have been, it will shorten the end of the training period by about a month or so.  I told him I don't care - it gets too confusing for hubby (and sometimes for me) - so let's just keep on the twice a week schedule - and when the time runs out - it runs out.  Which should be about next April or May I'm guessing.  I'm not worried about it.  By then we should know what we are doing - although I do enjoy chatting with our trainer.  We are still working on getting my time changed.   My next session is tomorrow night at 5PM for an hour - and he has sorta warned me, it's gonna be legs... and it took me three days (no kidding!) to be able to walk last week - he laughed and said he'd help me get to my car afterwards.  No kidding; after a leg workout my legs are shaking!

Well, just glanced at the clock and I'm out of time.  Got to get myself in the right mindset.  Stop so much rambling and share what God is doing in my life and others.  Could it be that I am so tired that I just can't think?  Perhaps.  But I need to get back in sync.  We have prayer meeting at church tonight and we've been told there is a meeting after - perhaps I can find out if or what I will be teaching the first of the year - then I need to get busy studyng.

I've gotten so used to my 'schedule' being home that all the extra time I've gained doesn't seem to be around anymore.  How in the world did I leave the house at 6AM, get back home at 6PM, teach a class, and still have some resemblance of being completely together?  I now work 7-4PM and I am not teaching, and yet, I feel so out of whack with being on schedule.  I need to revise and conquer what I've let take over my energy and my time.  

If you paused to see where all your time is going - where do you think it is?  Is it helpful to you and others?  Is it beneficial?  Does it bring joy?  Evaluate and see where you can make changes.  Let's making living count!

Blessings!

Yes, I'm late; but have a valid excuse...sorta....

 I didn't get up until 5:30AM this morning - and then when I hit my chair - I fell back to sleep again after hubby brought my coffee in.  Why?  Because at 1:10AM There is this loud knocking noise going on within the wall in my bathroom - which of course then echos, and then being at night, sounds so very loud.  It woke me.  Then I hear hubby's toilet making noises - it started that a few days ago and he has someone coming out to check on it today from our home warranty company.  The only thing I can figure out about the knocking is the water pipes in the wall.  There has been a light knocking for a couple months, I'd guess, but nothing big.  The loud knocking started during the day yesterday and in the middle of the night - is extremely loud.

Anyway - I get up and am walking through the house shutting bathroom doors to try to quiet the noise - it doesn't help.  Both the knocking and the toilet finally stop (the toilet is a loud screech and/or a clicking sound).  I go back to bed.  Just as I was dozing back off about 1:30AM, I hear what sounds like rain - coming down really hard.  Now, I sorta knew we didn't have rain on the horizon, so I got up again and wandered through the house, checking windows, to see if it was indeed raining.  Finally got to the 'workout room' and peered out the screened in door.  The 'patio' looked dry.  But the noise was extremely loud.... I look through another window and see 'rain' falling.... only it is on half of the 'patio'.  Going to another window, I see that a sprinkler head next to the house has apparently broken and water is shooting 10+ feet up - against the roof and out in to the yard.  Ain't nothing I can do about that either.  I waited until it shut off at 1:40AM and then went back to bed.  Finally fell back to sleep and didn't even hear my alarm go off at 4AM.  Hubby, of course, slept through it all.

So, sitting down in my chair this morning, getting comfy to read my Bible... I fell back asleep and next thing I knew it was 6:30 and I needed to get up and get my day going.  No need to try to type in here - no time left.  But, here I am.  I've checked my work messages and I'm good there for the moment.  I have tasks to do, but I'll get them done later.  I'm typing, now.

Hubby has gone off to meet a friend for breakfast.  In a couple weeks his Bible study on Tuesday mornings will be starting back up, then they will go to lunch after the meetings.  Then of course he has his Tuesday evening Bible study.... and this week he is having lunch with another friend tomorrow, and another friend on Thursday, and then another Bible study on Friday morning.  He has such a rough life. And I don't mind he goes out with his friends.  I really don't.  

I think I mentioned a few days ago we had to move some times around last week - or at least hubby did - for our training.  His schedule has always been Mondays @ 8AM and Wednesdays @ 8:30AM.  His last Wednesday got changed to Thursday, then to Friday, I think, becaues our trainer had gotten sick. He was to be back on his regular schedule this week.... I didn't realize until 9AM yesterday that he hadn't left so I checked on him.... he said he messed up with things changing around last week; he forgot he had one Monday @ 8AM.  I'm moving mine around right now so I went last night at 5PM and he went with me to ride the bike while I worked out.... our trainer and I chatted... he had called hubby when he hadn't showed up, and was getting ready to call me, when hubby called him back.  He said he was afraid hubby had been in an accident or that something had happened.  I commented that I think he had just gotten confused and forgot... and he nodded and said "He has shown some confusion at times with the exercises too".  He's noticed.  Our trainer has a grandmother my age who has dementia.... so he says he recognizes things more than some people.  Plus he has been working with us both for about 3 months now, I think.  Hubby confirmed his regular times are 8AM on Mondays and 8:30AM on Wednesdays while we were there.  Hubby really enjoys the working out; with having a trainer, he is getting more out of it than he does on his own.  I know I do.  But I'm still chaning my hours around so I don't have to leave so early and it helps our trainer to not come in for me, then have an hour or so before another person comes in.  We're looking at 6:30-7:30 AM now... told him I could do it - and just start work at 8AM and work until 5PM.  I can do that.  Anyway - that's basically an update on hubby's mental condition at the moment.... I don't know what to do.  We talked about a week ago and ... I don't know how it came about, but I told him that he is very smart (more than me!) about the Bible since he has been in all these Bible studies (and I haven't) , but about other things, he comes across stupid.  LOL  Of course you know what he picked up on.  I called him stupid.  Sigh.  So I had to explain again what I meant.  He has never shown an interest in fixing or doing things that required thought and preparation.  Now he has no clue to even think about having to fix something.  He always calls the warranty company to come out and 'fix it'.  I asked him why didn't he just ask our son-in-law to come check out the toilet to see what needed to be fixed - and he exploded on me.... 'why can't I make a decision?'  I just looked at him and said 'why spend out a service fee when you don't need to?'  UGH,  The wall knocking scares me... it will require someone coming out and cutting in to the wall to find the pipe that is apparently about to burst.... I don't know.  Don't think it would be under home warranty.... that one may cost us.  

Anyway - I know I'm rambling, but have given you something to read this morning, and some updates. Still lots of things going on within the family structure..... I haven't heard results yet.  My youngest called while I was at the gym and didn't call back.  I figured he would be driving so didn't call him. I am guessing I will get an update some time today.  He has been carrying a lot upon his shoulders; I know he loves his children - and he has proven he does - but at some point he has to do tough love and let them figure it out.  It is killing him.  And, without him, those kids will not know how to fight their own battles - that  at least one - has gotten themselves in to.

And all I can do is pray.  Pray for hubby. Pray for these wayward grandchildren. Pray for my children. Pray for wisdom. Pray for strength.  Pray, Pray, Pray.  

Sorry about the ramblings; I could use another nap, but have lots to do today.  

Lord, hear our prayers........ I know when we call upon Him, He will answer.... but it doesn't always seem to be in MY timing.  And so I wait..........

Blessings!

Lots of praying to do....

 We've had a lot of drama going on within the family the past few months.  Some of it has been very painful to hear about.  Some of it reflects the upbringing and the mistakes made.  Some days I wonder when it will all end - and which way it will go.  Will justice - as I see it - be served?  I've resigned myself to 'whatever happens, keep praying lessons will be learned'.  Today is a court day for two - at the same time - at two different locations.  Prayer will be going up all day for justice to be served, the outcomes be what they should be.  All I can do is pray.

Church was good yesterday although hubby doesn't care for the speaker we had.  But it was a very good service and the message was on being Yielded to Christ; totally surrendered in love.  And being surrendered to Christ in love, helps us to live 'in love' with others.  He also shared that his ministry focus had changed and he was going to be going more in to prison ministry.  He had been speaking at some prisons and they have asked him to come on a regular basis, it sounded like.  God can use even a quadraplegic who can only talk..... which means He can also use you and me.

I saw my friend Lisa yesterday morning and handed her the discipleship books I had bought in hopes I could teach.  I beat myself up for tearing up all my notes and everything I had when I took the class myself many years ago, and what I gained when teaching it.  I will need to start fresh and that's going to be tough.  But yeah, when I cleaned out some of the boxes last year, I reluctantly tore up everything and threw it away, thinking I would never teach again.  But that is where my heart is.  I love to share through the classes.  I'm thinking we may start it in January - which would be great for I could start to pull things together (me, the procrastinator, saying that?) to have. Not sure where we will have it.  We can have 8 people here max... and it would need to be on a Monday night, I'm thinking.  I'd rather it was at the church... but will see how it turns out.   But it brings me joy to think I can teach again.  Hubby said he is way too busy to think about teaching... and he is right.  He has a study Tuesday mornings, Tuesday evenings, and Friday mornings now - and he has things to read and questions in answer in each one.  Yeah... he can sit teaching out this time.

Feels like arthritis has reared its ugly head in my finger knuckles.  Some are swollen, and one I cannot bend fully.  And they are painful.  Voltaren is my friend in these instances, it at least helps with the pain.  I guess this is the result of typing since I was 18 years old.  And, typing a lot at that!  I'm sure other factors enter in to it as well, but I blame it on my jobs.  That works, right?

Hubby was telling me that our president has plans to shut down the country again this fall because of a 'new' covid thing is starting.... I told hubby that if my company mandates a vaccine again to keep my job, I am resigning.  Scared the crap out of him!  I don't work with patients; I work remote.  I should not be forced to put something in my body that they don't know what it will do.  I'm old.  Leave me alone. If I get it, and I die, then it is God's will that it is my time to go.  Of course hubby didn't like my reasoning on that.... I will have an argument, I think, if it comes to it.  Our hospitals lost too many nurses and doctors so they may rethink the mandatory requirement in order to keep the job.  Yes, I still have to get a flu shot, and will get it next month, reluctantly.

Mark 4:7 (NKJV):  "And some seed fell among thorns; and the thorns grew up and choked it, and it yielded no crop."

That scripture comes from the story of the Sower (see Mark 4) that Jesus shared.  What Jesus was saying is that when the Word (seed) is given - there are different places it lands.  This verse implies that it fell among those who were closed to learning about Jesus - we all know some of those people - they think they know all they want to know about Jesus and refuse to hear anything else.  Their minds are the thorns that choke the Word out of their minds and hearts, so that they get no result from the things they heard.  We all know people who refuse to hear the Word.

And when you know those people are missing out on the best thing in life; the best decision they could ever make, it breaks your heart.  They remain on your prayer list until their choose to open their hearts and minds to a beautiful life in Jesus.  They think they have all they need.  They have a good income; they do what they want to do; they have food on the table; the bills are paid.... why do they need Jesus?  And that is a good question.  Why does one need Jesus?

Because He is the only One who can take you to our Father in Heaven.

John 14:6 (NKJV):  "Jesus said to him, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me."

Choosing Jesus, gets you to our Father.  Life doesn't get perfect by following Jesus, but the joy you feel in following Him, is well worth being yielded and surrendered.

Blessings!

Some days I'm a real ditz... and Saturday was one of them....

 I wrote about going to a women's function yesterday morning.  I shared about what I was taking for this luncheon.  I showered, dressed, and got everything ready to go.  Even put on makeup!  I loaded up my car and off I went.  Odd, I thought, only a few cars there, but that's ok, people are ALWAYS late, it seems.  I tried the door and it was unlocked so I carried the deviled eggs in and took to the kitchen area.  A woman I know in the church waved to me, and I admit, she did look puzzled when she saw me.  She was conducting a 'worship dance' class with about 10 children.  She continued as I left and then came back in with the crockpot of the dessert I had made.  She stopped the music and hollered at me.... "Is there a meeting that I don't know about?"  I looked at her puzzled this time, and said, "It's for the women's lunch for today".... and then she tells me..................... "It's next month".  And as soon as she said it, my calendar came into focus in my mind, and I knew she was right.  

But we made good time out of the break she took from teaching the class.  She came back where I was and jokingly said I could leave the deviled eggs and cherry cobbler, they would love to eat them.  I said 'no problem' and was agreeable to leave them (I'll pick up my dishes today).  But then we got to talking about things dear to my heart, like wanting to teach again.  We talked for nearly half hour and she said we would continue on a zoom call soon and discuss teaching at the start of 2024.  That would work for me as it would give me time to get refocused on teaching.  I have really missed it.  

So yeah, God took my ditz moment and made something good out of it, and my friend Lisa and I were able to chat about teaching and what was my thoughts and desires in doing so.  She also put me on the 'Hospitality Team" which helps with food and coordinating things.  If one wants to get involved, they just need to let it be known.  Which means I also need to learn how to re-delegate my time again.  In fact, preaching starts up again in November.  I do have one I can do in November, but need to also get started on creating messages for the other months.  I should do that instead of watching TV!  Hubby gave preaching up last year so he doesn't have to do it.  BUt, his fall-spring Bible study starts up in September so that will keep him extra busy with his Tuesday night study and the Friday morning study group.  Which means I will have the opportunity to study more - but I am going to have to get myself focused to do it.  It's all good.

My trainer text'd me yesterday that he agreed we could move my training from Tuesday to Monday this week at 5PM (versus 5:30AM on Tuesday)... and then he will move my other from Thursday morning 5:30AM to 5PM on Thursday.  Just for this week, and then we'll figure it out after that.  He's wanting to get his hours more to 7-6 versus 5:30 and then after me he has about a one to two hour break before anyone else.  We may just go to week to week scheduling.... I'm going to figure out how I can maybe take off during the day and maybe work until 5PM those days... but this week is set - and I dont have to stop in the middle of my quiet time and head over so early in the morning.  Unfortunately for me, evenings I'm usually tired and cranky(ier) so he may get the worst of me.  Or maybe I can go with 7AM and start at 8:30PM and work straight through until 5:30PM... but that messes with MY time... oh well. Yeah, I'm rambling again.

Isaiah 26:3 (NKJV):  "You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You."

That verse is so true.  When I keep my mind on my Abba, on Jesus, on the Holy Spirit.... I am in perfect peace.  It's when I let my guard down and let the enemy get a foothold - whether from a disagreement, or discouragement, or even depression - my peace can get shattered.  But when I let words spoken at me roll off... when I block the words of the enrmy that tell me I'm not good enough... when I keep my eyes turned to Jesus.... I am in perfect peace.

Like yesterday - in spite of my ditzyness.... I wasn't embarrassed that I messed up and took food to the chruch for a non-existent luncheon.  There was a time I would be horrified that I messed up and would grab my things and rush out the door.  But this time - nope, all was well with the world.  I had perfect peace.  I went on to the store as planned and my afternoon pretty much went as I had planned... and I was in perfect peace and at rest.  One, because I was able to do what I enjoyed doing... and afterwards hubby and I just read (he does ask read or a movie... and reluctantly agrees to read when I say so)... so reading it was.  

I started one book but just couldn't get into it... so picked up one I had received as a gift a few weeks ago - a non-fiction romance type book - and now I'm halfway through it!  I wanted to stay up another hour and finish it, but hubby was already giving the vibes he was ready for bed.  He rarely will let me stay up without him right there.  So I quit my reading at chapter 8 (out of 11 I think) and can you believe it - he starts talking to me about politics and stuff!  I sat there and acted like I was listening.  When he paused I just said.... "and that is why I don't get into political things just before I go to bed.  I don't want to think about them. That's why I prefer a movie on 'Up Faith and Family' or read a good good.... I can go to sleep thinking good thoughts and not upset about how this country is going."

He doesn't get it. But he has to give me his opinions on the world and politics.  The only thing I can do is pray for our country, our world.  I can't change it any other way.  I know what the Bible says about all the things that are happening.  In fact, the Bible talks about these things and identifies it as being in the 'end times'.  And yes, we are in the end times.  

If we do not keep our lives living for Jesus, keep our minds obedient to His Word, we will not be taken into heaven.  Yes, it breaks my heart that I didn't teach my children more about living for Jesus and keeping Him first in their lives.  All I can do now is pray for each one, that they will turn to Jesus with their whole heart and mind, and live for Him.  The same for my grandchildren.  Few go to church, fewer even profess Jesus as Lord.  They are wrapped up in their own opinions and their own lives and do not make room for Jesus.  It will be their downfall.  So I do what I can by praying.  And somedays that is praying hard.  I need start scheduling my fast aand pray days again.... an hour a day just isn't enough when my children and grandchildren's souls are at stake.  I want them all to go to heaven.... and not be burned in the firey pit.  Heaven help us!

But for now, I amin perfect peace, for I know that I trust God for everything.  I trust Him for health, for finances, for food, for shelter, for my life.  If I died today, I know where I am going.  I will rejoice with the angels and praising my God.

If you died today, do you know where you are going?  Don't laugh and say "helll"... it isn't a fun place... it is a pit of fire where your body will be constantly burned... and you will be conscious and know it is burning.  I choose life in heaven with Jesus.... and my prayer is that you will too.

Blessings!

It's gonna be a good day....

 Sometimes we just have to tell ourselves that.  But for me, it will at least be a good morning.  I'll get up and moving in a bit to start a crockpot dessert for a ladies get together at church, put deviled eggs together, and head over about 10:30-ish.  We're meeting  at 11AM for a lunch and - well, I don't know what else as I wasn't consulted.  I just volunteered to bring deviled eggs and dessert.  But it will be fun to get away from life for a couple hours and be with other women.

I did talk with our pastor on Wednesday about teaching a class again; possibly in our home.  They are also leaning towards it being 'women's study'... and although that is ok, I prefer 'co-ed'.  Why?  Because men need to learn too and there aren't any men's classes set up yet, and already there are a couple women's classes.  I'm to speak to someone, possibly today, at our women's group - but I still am leaning towards 4 couples, not just women.  Then the next thing is WHEN.  Hubby and I had discussed Monday evenings as we had gone to a Bible study on that date earlier in the year and it worked out ok.  LOL  They asked me again to help teach that class that we took earlier.... and again I declined.  I didn't like the book then, and don't want to do it now.  More updates to come...maybe...

I may be changing my workouts - well, the training - around.  BTW, remember the other day I mentioned my legs hurting from the workout?  I am still struggling to walk this morning!  And the exercises weren't hard, that's what is weird.  But if soreness helps tone up my body, let's do it.  I imagine I will be really sore next week - I'm scheduled Tuesday for an hour.  But... I've been talking with my trainer to change from 5:30AM to go to 5PM... only on Tuesdays it will mess up my 'girls night out' somewhat... but I asked my daughter if we could change it to 6:30-8:30PM versus 5-8PM... she said whatever would work for me.  I refuse to lose our girls night out.... and I am trying to change to a later time... I'm even thinking of trying during the day and working later .... I need to 'talk' to the trainer and not just 'text'... cause I'm still waiting on him to respond to me!  I am sure hubby will talk to him Monday when he goes for his training....and I will get a phone call.  LOL  You know how hubby likes to interfere into my business.  But the good part in moving my training to later in the day is that I don't have to leave so early in the mornings (especially when it is dark now when I leave).... I'll check calendars and see when I can take time off during the day.... or immediately after work. But I have the trainer's schedule to deal with too.

Do you remember Rebekah in the Bible?  Abraham's slave went to the former country of Abraham (before God told him to leave it all behind) to find a wife for Isaac, Abraham's only son with Sarah.  He wanted a woman from his kin, not from the country in which they were living.  So the slave goes to the country and as he and his ten camels, and other men, sit by a well and wait for someone to come... here comes Rebekah.  She's beautiful.  When the slave asks for a drink of water, she quickly draws water and gives it to him.  Then the remarkable happens.  She offers to water also all his camels.  Now mind you, each camel - and there were 10 of them - could hold 30 gallons of water.  Yes, I said gallons.  And she offered to water them as well - and cheerfully lowered her jug into the well time and again to water all the camels, (figure 300 gallons of water!) and did it without complaining.  Her feet were probably blistering by this time, her shoulders and arms tired of getting and dumping the water... wow.  And when the slave asked whose daughter she was, he discovered she was a relative and his mission was accomplished.  Read Genesis 24 and you can read the entire story of where he revealed who his master was, and needing to leave right away, asked for Rebekah to go with him immediately.  

Genesis 24:58 (NKJV):  "Then they called Rebekah and said to her, "Will you go with this man?" and she said "I will go."

Times have really changed, haven't they!  Can you even imagine a young woman willing to leave the only country she knows, travel many miles with a stranger with camels to meet a man she has never met - and become his wife?  I know it was common practice back then but I am glad they don't do it now!  Although back then marriage was more meaningful than it is now too.

Now my thoughts are on other things... got a text my grandson in law, whose birthday we just celebrated.... his grandfather passed this morning.  My heart is sad for the family.  It's always hard to say goodbye... but at least they were there last weekend to seem him one last time.  It's still hard.  I've offered to help, but not sure what I can do as the grandfather is in California and they are here.  

And... I need to go plug in the dessert for today's luncheon.  Maybe I can think of something later to do to help.  In the meantime, treasure the lives of those around you... life is short.... and as we age... the time gets shorter.  Be thankful for the time you have.

Blessings!

Alone..... with music playing in the background....

 and it feels like all is well with the world.  We KNOW that the world is a big mess..... but in MY world, at least, things are at peace for the moment.  I pray that peace lasts!

Today is another workday, oh joy.  I do have things to start on this morning that I just didn't feel like completing yesterday.  Northing critical, of course.  After all, I did get a two hour 'team lunch meeting' yesterday with other executive assistants.  We met up at my favorite deli.  After an hour I was ready to leave, but the 'lead' executive assistant was very talkative and - LOL - she had a photo taken of the five of us EA's having lunch - and she sent it to all our executives to let them know we were having a lunch team meeting (was that to cover for us being gone so long?).  LOL  And now she's talking about doing these once a month.  I'm game.  I love food; I enjoy their company.  Of course I'm the oldest one (and the wisest, of course).... and I do a lot of listening.  One just turned 30; I think she is the youngest... and wild as they come.  LOL

Fun continued when we got a call to join the daughter and family for dinner to celebrate a grandson in law's birthday - I love Abuelo's and so yes, we went.  Enjoyed being out with family and celebrating his birthday.  And I didn't have to cook dinner, although I DO have mahi mahi thawed out to cook - guess what is for dinner tonight?  Oh, I may cook it for lunch..... a late lunch and then snack for dinner.... will see.  I love my air fryer for this reason - just put them in there and 20 minutes later (or less) they are ready and very little mess.

My legs are telling me this morning that I worked them yesterday.  I actually am glad my muscles hurt after exercise - at least I know I'm working certain parts of the body!  Our trainer got sick after my appointment so cancelled on hubby (he had cancelled the day before as he was sick, but thought he ws better for me).... so hubby will be going over today after his Bible study.  Unless he gets a text the trainer is still sick.  Anyway - my legs are a bit sore this morning - and that's a good thing.  I'll stretch them out today and will work through it.

When you tell someone something..... do you keep your word?  When you say you are going to do something, do you do it, and in the timeframe you say you will?  Integrity.  That is what I am going to throw out as a challenge today.

When we tell our kids we will do something if they do something (or don't do something), do we follow through with the 'threat', or do we just let it fall by the way side?  Sometimes it hurts to do what we say we are going to do - especially if it is a punishment we don't want to dish out.  As I write that this morning I am reminded of when our youngest was in high school.  He couldn't play football anymore because he was so allergic to the grass we'd have to carry him off the field.  He was on all kinds of medication to help him breathe, taken to numerous doctor visits, and sometimes even the ER.  Finally the doctor said he could not play football anymore.  

So he switched to baseball - and loved it.  But, his grades weren't that good.  So, we told him, keep the grades at C or above.... get a D and you give up baseball.  I don't know if he didn't believe we'd do it, or if he really tried to keep his grades up and couldn't.... but he brought home a D, and we pulled him out of baseball.  It brokes our hearts to do that.

And I think he holds it against us to this day.  I sometimes feel that is when he chose the 'dark side' versus following Jesus.  Oh how he hated us, and begged, cried, and pleaded to be allowed to stay on the team.... but we had told him the consequences of bringing home a D, and felt we had to do what we said.   I've regretted pulling him out for years... but as a parent, when we say something, we need to follow through.  Regardless how painful and how hard it is.

I wasn't a perfect parent, unfortunately. Perhaps that is why my children are the way they are.  I was so messed up myself during their teen years.  I look back and see the depression I was living in and how I lost my life during those years.  I blame it on my growing up years.  After all, my mother always told me that 'the husband is head of the house and what he says is law'....  and I wanted to obey Jesus and obey Him.... but life has dealt some hard blows.   I was always protective of my kids and tried to intervene in any issues.

I remember one child wanting to go to a youth function but because of hubby's fear of something happening to him, refused to let him go.  My son was begging to be allowed to go and threatening to run away because he hated us so for not letting him go.... it broke my heart then, and it breaks my heart as I remember it.  Those were tough years.

I wasn't strong enough to do what I should have done.  I had no example to follow.  I had no role model for a wife or a marriage or a family.  Ah.... my mind is wandering down paths and it is nearly time to get to work .... and I need to stop going back... some things I can never change.

Proverbs 3:5-6 (NKJV):  "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths."

Sometimes we need to let go of the past, learn from it, and trust the Lord to take it and show us the way to walk.  

God is good, and He is always faithful.  In spite of the wrong paths some of us have taken, He will always bring good from it.  I believe that, and am grateful that God took a young woman who allowed life to bury her, and He watered and fed me until I was able to grow again.

Sorry for the ramblings.... 

Blessings!

Rearranging schedules.... maybe

 My trainer and I chatted some this morning and I made a comment that if he took clients later in the day, I'd really rather come later (except in some cases it could mess me up).... and he asked how much later.  I told him I usually work until 4PM and could get there by 4:30... but he started thinking about 5PM... I guess I am his only 'early' @ 5:30AM and then he has a break until 7AM.... so it would mean he wouldn't have to come in so early as well.  So it will be something we will discuss over the next couple sessions - actually, I told him to process and we'll talk more about it on Tuesday when I am scheduled for an hour with him at 5:30AM.  I commented how it cuts into my 'quiet time' with God and then I'm rushed to complete what I like to do, often not getting to finish before starting work.  So, a little later would work better for me, but then again, getting it done in the morning is good cause 'it's done'.  Well, we will see how discussions go next week.

Had to stop and get the work computer up and going - see - going to the gym messes up my morning time when I have lots of time to ramble on here (as you notice on other days).   LOL Just noticed that my one favorite boss just moved her own meeting.  Sometimes (in my opinion), it takes more time for them to email me to move a meeting than it would to just move it themselves - right?

Hubby has gone off to the gym and when he gets back - sometimes between 8-12PM, his 'wellness check' person from his insurance company will be here.  They do the blood pressure, pee test, ask numerous questions, etc.  He's healthy, so no worries there.  In fact, as I have mentioned before, he may outlive me!  The doctors have told him his heart is extremely healthy, his blood pressure runs 110/70 consistently, his cholesterol - with meds - is below 100 I think... they are all happy with his results.  I get my physical next month so will see what MY doctor has to say.  Other than being fat, they should say I'm healthy too, and I'm working on the fat.

It's just I love to eat.  I love good food.  I have cut back on WHAT I eat - drastically at times - but it is also the quanity I eat of the good food that I enjoy.  Yeah, even my mashed potatoes and broccoli can be too much - oh, it's the mashed potatoes?  How else can one eat broccoli unless mixed in with the mashed potatoes?  Just saying! I wonder if hubby has found the box of chocolate malt push-ups I bought this week from Schwans yet.  I checked the other day and the box is still sealed.  I like ice cream occasionally.... which is why I sometimes have it.... I don't eat it all the time.  But sometimes, it is nice to have when you want a treat.  I can't keep chocolate.  It melts. And usually in my mouth. sigh.

I'm meeting three other admins for lunch today at a deli nearby.  Our company gave out free t-shirts last week and none of us wanted to run downtown for a t-shirt, so the main EA picked up for us.  It's long sleeve, I think, so I'm not worried about getting one..., but, when it gets colder I may be glad to have it.  At least to wear to the gym. :-)

I am 'enjoying' my workouts - if one can actually say that.  Today was legs and I can feel it.  My trainer and I will be going over my workouts in the next couple weeks and devise an actual program for me - especially for when I am not under his watchful eye.  But then, that means I will need to go to the gym.  I'm thinking of getting rid of my treadmill.... not really using it and we can go to the rec center... I found it interesting that in the past my trainers have always encouraged 10-15 minutes on the treadmill before working out.... but this trainer, who I may have mentioned before, is a body builder.... and he says no because that takes strength away when you want to work out with weights - well, with your legs anyway.  He also had told me that treadmills are good if you just want to lose fat (which I do), but it doesn't build muscle (which I need).  I need the treadmill for 'step count' in contests, but other than that, I don't .... if I got rid of my exercise equipment I could make that back room my craft room, right?  Buy more yarn?  Too bad I only know a few stitches to use... one of these days I'll learn how to do a lot of things.... if I live that long.

And with that, I need to jump off and focus on work - three more emails just popped up in my mailbox.  Hope that you have an amazing day - tomorrow is an 'off' day so maybe I can make some sense... or not.

Blessings!

Just a quick 'so you know...... later Wed afternoon....

 Hubby and I did a walkaround Ms. Amy's house - and then went inside to check things out - and all things are just fine - just like we knew they would be.  

What in the world made my mind go off on a crazy trip like that?  

But all is well at Ms. Amy's.  I've text'd her daughter thi smorning to see when they are coming out - and of course have gotten no response.  She is not one to repond in anyone's time frame but her own.  Oh well, the house is fine - I'll take the car out tomorrow for a spin.  

We're good to go.

I just knew you were waiting with baited breath to find out if there were squattters in Ms. Amy's house - weren't you!

Until tomorrow................  sleep well~

It's a weird thought - but 'what if?'

 I've noticed it off and on since we got back from vacation, thought it was odd, but couldn't figure it out - so ignored it. This week, in the mornings, it is happening again.  I have no explanation.  I smell food being cooked.  And it isn't ME cooking!  And it isn't hubby either!  Honestly, yesterday, I smelled bacon cooking in this room!  I actually got up, walked around the house, and even opened the front door to see if the smell is out there.  This has never happened before.  The smell wasn't anywhere but here in this room.  Really weird, huh!

Mid-day the thought hit me.... is there a squatter next door in Ms. Amy's side?  Now Ms. Amy never cooked so I would never know if the smell would linger over here or not.  But it is really weird, and it has made me a bit 'anxious' - although I don't know if that is the right word.  I forgot about it for awhile and then last night I remembered, so I asked hubby if he would (today) go over to Ms. Amy's with me and walk through the house.  We did it before we left on vacation, but haven't since we got back (did I tell you they finally sent me a key?), so it's been about two weeks.  I need to drive the car around too.  Hubby of course said yes he would ... but, he has his workout this morning, then he has a brunch with a friend, then he has a haircut, so it will be early afternoon before he gets back home.  It doesn't matter... I just want to go over and check sometime today - so we will.

Oh - now I 'remember' why I remembered to say something to him - when I came home last night from 'girls night out', something had triggered a thought to drive down the side of Ms. Amy's and look to see if I could see a light on.  Now she not only has automatic screens that close up tight, she also has shutters within the house.  But in my imagination, I could swear that I saw a light on through the kitchen window. Do I really think there was one?  No, but ... what if?  Where is that smell coming from I have smelled the past two weeks?  It isn't outside where someone could be grilling.  It's just weird.  And when hubby comes home from his time out this morning, we will grab the tazer and head over to walk through the house and double check the doors and windows.  I don't hear any noises, but it's the smell of food cooking.  Am I losing it?  Stay tuned!

Wednesday.  Hump Day. (I still love that camel commercial - "Mike Mike Mike!! What Day is it???  It's HUMP day!"  LOL

Yesterday was another crazy day at work and I still have work to start on this morning.  I am hoping since I am back to work that it will start slowing down sometime soon.  About 3PM my mind seems to be 'shutting down' and I only do what I need to do that last hour.  It's not a big deal, really.... I usually start a little early, rarely take a break, and even more rarely take a lunch hour, to which I am entitled.  So if I mentally shut down a little early, I'm still on the computer and still working, but only on critical things.  Although, I will admit, I was tired enough.... I did take a 20 minute nap .... it was enough to help me through the rest of the day.  I may get one again because the above thoughts woke me up around 2-ish and I couldn't get them off my mind, straining to hear any sounds - as if in the middle of the night something would be going on.

I think what has triggered the thought of a squatter is that recently I read a story about a family who got in to a man's mother's house while she was in the hospital, (she lived alone), and when he went to check on the house, found them in there - and they wouldn't leave.  He even got the police involvetd, but they couldn't make them leave either, I forget the rule on that.  Anyway, the son played the game... when the couple left the house one morning, he broke in and changed the locks on the doors and stayed there.  He also had had his mother move the title or whatever it is for the house into his name so that hewas the legal owner.  He 'squatted' them out!   It makes me wonder sometimes about the empty duplexes and houses here in this area.  Since we live in a senior community, many leave for the summer and don't come back until October when they (hope) think it may be cooler.  We have one such empty place on our block, not counting Ms. Amy's place.  Anyway - we will be checking Ms. Amy's this afternoon to make sure everything is locked up.  And then I will continue to wonder where the smell is coming from.

Ms. Amy's daughter and husband should be coming back soon - I need to text them this morning and see when.... I'm pretty sure they aren't there... I don't think she cooks (based on when they were here before), she drinks a lot of wine, and always calls me to come over and visit when she's here.  So I'm thinking they are NOT here yet.  But I will text her and see when they are coming.  

Psalm 94:18-19 (NKJV):  "If I say, "my foot slips," Your mercy, O Lord, will hold me up. In the multitude of my anxieties within me, Your comforts delight my soul."

No matter what is going on in our lives... no matter what anxieties we have.... God's love for us will override any of that.  Do I ever get anxious about things?  Yes - as you can read above, I am a bit anxious to check out Ms. Amy's house. But, I keep that in check.  We'll check it some time today, and if we don't... I still have no control over it.  If my house, yep, I'd be all over it.  But, all I can do for Ms. Amy's empty place is check on it.  We had sent the daughter the phone number of the posse here - and they are supposed to drive around and check the doors, etc.  If she didn't make that call (we couldn't make it for her, it isn't our duplex)... and something happens... it is beyond our control. Especially if whiel we were on vacation.  But - nothing has happened and no one is there... I'm just developing weird bacon smells here in my office.  

I refuse to be afraid of the unknown.  I'm not going to worry about 'what if'.... it takes too much energy about from what is important.  I know that in the Lord's mercy, He reigns supreme, there is nothing in this life that should make me afraid.  I lose my job - no biggie - we tighten the belt and God will supply all our needs.  I am confident of that.  One of us gets really sick - no biggie - we pray and ask God to bring healing and restoration.... and trust Him.  If He chooses to not answer our prayers the way we want Him to, He is still Sovereign and Holy and in control.  

Luke 12:22-23 (NKJV):  "Then He said to His disciples, "Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; nor about the body, what you will put on. Life is more than food, and the body is more than clothing."

Challenge for today - instead of stressing about what to fix for dinner tonight, or what clothing to wear today, take a deep breath and just thank God for all that He has provided for you.  You have a roof over your head, in most cases - air conditioning to cool you off, food to snack on.... you have people who love you, Jesus loves you.  What more do you need?  Thank God for all He has provided for you. He is worthy of all honor and glory.  

Blessings!

I gave him 'what for'....

 Well, I really wasn't too bad... and it wasn't at hubby this time.  I'm talking about my trainer.  He's been distracted lately with issues on license plate for his car, offer given to him to go to change professions, a big signon bonus.... and I don't feel I have gotten his full attention.  So we discussed it this morning a bit.  He admitted he has been distracted; so today he made sure I had his full attention - and I even got him smiling a couple times!  And he raised my weights behind my back (is that really fair?)!  We did chest, shoulders, triceps... and yes, I can tell they have been worked after a week of doing none of it.  I am giving this one year.... and I WILL see results at the end of the year.  Bottom line.  Legs on Thursday.  I hope I can walk out to my car when done.

Hubby is getting weird(er) too.  When he got up this morning he comes in and says "I'm not going with you today because I didn't sleep well last night; I got a 58 on my fitbit for sleep".  How many times have I told him do NOT judge your sleep by the number on your fitbit!  It does not record recorrectly - you base it on how you feel, not by a number!  So then he asks if I want my coffee before or when I get back from the gym.  Now mind you, he always brings my coffee before I go to the gym; it's still hot when I get back.  So I tell him to bring it before.  When I come out of my room to go to the gym, he again comes to me and apologizes for not going with me this morning (he does the bike and the treadmill while I work out now) because he didn't sleep well.  Whatever.  So, when I come back, he follows me back to my room and asks me what did I do today; did I talk to our trainer like I said I was going to.... and I'm sitting here thinking... this is MY TIME ALONE... GO AWAY!!   But, I answered his questions and then he (finally) left... and leaving me with a very short time before I need to start work.  And I hear him now getting ready.... he has breakfast with a friend this morning.  Sigh. such a rough life.  He can be annoying at times, right?

Yesterday was extremely busy at work and I still have catch up to do today.  I think I mentally shut down about 3PM yesterday after working steadily throughout the day.  I actually went outside, cause it was a bit cooler than usual, and sat out there for about 15 minutes, drinking a cup of green tea.  AND, hubby let me sit out by myself without interrupting me -  he did meet met at the door and asked me why I was sitting outside, when I came back in.  I just needed a break!

Hubby has been writing down what he eats and letting our trainer look it over; he was told yesterday to cut back on his carbs.  When our trainer told me this morning what he told Tom (no, I don't ask), I just commented that he does love his chips and salsa.... and he laughed and said, "Yeah, I notice he has chips and salsa frequently".  LOL  I laughed and said that explains why when for lunch yesterday we had hamburgers.... I used one slice of bread, he ate his without bread.  He laughed at that too.  Guess what, I bet he cuts out his toast and potatoes today too at breakfast!  LOL   I must admit though, I do love my carbs as well; I love bread, I love rolls, I love anything that even resembles bread....  including crackers.  Saltines are my weakness.  I bought animal crackers the other day at the store.  Why, I don't know, other than occasionally I just want a couple.  But, it's in a big container so think I will take some out and take the container over to the daughter's tonight for the little ones.  They will go stale here if I keep them all.

I really wanted to get Cheezits at the store, but I resisted.  I love those too.  I did buy skinny pop popcorn - but it hasn't made me skinny yet.  sigh.  But it is a good crunch.

I gotta stop and get on the work computer.... it's tough when I stop to go to the gym... time just gets away from me.  And I know you just can't wait to read what gem I will share, right? :-)

Challenge for today..... Be kind.   Consider all the interactions you will have today - with your spouse, your children, your neighbors, the cashier at the store, the mailperson.... with other drivers.... how can you make a difference in their lives.... you can start by being kind.  Sure, sometimes it is hard when the driver cuts you off and you want to show them how 'grateful' you are they did that.... but instead, let them win.  Be kind.  Speak softly to your spouse or your child when they have roused a touchy mood in you.  Smile at that cashier when you stop at the store.  You don't know what any of them may be going through - even your souse may be going through tough thoughts - be gentle, be kind.

Blessings!

Vacation over.... back to work Monday....

 And here I am.  The 4AM alarm went off and I forced myself to get up, knowing that I needed my 'quiet time' this morning to prepare myself for what will need to be done today.  I have over 150 messages on my work computer... and I chose not to gt back online after I cleared over 300 messages on Wednesday.  I know I have a lot to get done today - beginning with approving timecards.  That shouldn't take too long... but I do have things I need to get done that I saw on Wednesday.

I was up again until about 10PM last night watching 'The Chosen' on TV.  I keep trying to get through season 3.... hubby keeps falling asleep every time we start on it... so then usually backtrack so he can catch up.  Last night I didn't; I think we were in episode 4 of season 3 and I refused to go back.  So then I got the questions. 'who is that?' 'what was happenig'?  Oh well - he stayed awake for one episode and I could hear him snoring again - and that was after we both took naps in the afternoon!  I wanted to watch the rest of the episodes, but by 10PM I knew I needed to get to bed as well, so turned the TV off and woke hubby up to go to bed.  I can watch the episodes on my phone as I have the Angel app on it, and during a lull (probalby not this week though), I may just sit and watch it at my desk with one eye on the work computer if I need to do something.  Hubby doesn't care to watch it as much as I want to.  In fact, I'd like to go back to Season 1 and start it over.  It's like reading my Bible, each time I pick up on something new that I glossed over before.

We sung this song at church yesterday morning and it has been going through my mind all night and again this moring........

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IkHgxKemCRk

The title?  Holy Forever by Chris Tomlin.   Take a listen, and you will find youself humming it all day. :-) And that's a good thing.

..... and the angels cry Holy.... all creation cries Holy.....You are lifted high, Holy.....Holy Forever....

Only He is Holy..... such a great song, and I encourage you to throw that link into your browser and hope it comes up... but if not, type in Holy Forever by Chris Tomlin.  Such a great song that can bring great peace to your soul.

Hubby goes back to the gym today (we did go to the rec center on Saturday for about 30 minutes) for his workout, and I go tomorrow.  Whoopie.  I'm discouraged, although I have biceps now.... I should be further along (I'm thinking) than I am in my workout journey... but then, how much can be done in 30 minutes twice a week, right?  So I'm trying to figure out what I can do at home to help it along.  I haven't lost ANY weight... even though the trainer tells me not to get on the scale cause I'm building muscle.  Sigh. Sometimes (for a woman) that is a lose-lose situation.  I want to see the body shrink and the scale go down... can't I have both?  Only if I quit eating like I do, I guess.  Sigh. Discipline.

I know I can lose it; I know I'm lazy.  I don't want to exercise when hubby is around becaues he watches or even if he is in the 'other room', he ... well, never mind. They are really just excuses for me not to work out and I need to ignore him and my excuses and just do it.    Do you have people in your life like that as well?  Is it just me and my desire to do it my way?

We had a great message at church yesterday on envy and jealousy.... and yes, I did nudge hubby.  His insecurity at times frustrates me.... and I'll pass on comments.... but it was a good message.

LOL  Saturday I visited Ms. Vicki and took her 4 white castles I had put in the freezer and a couple pieces of my birthday cake that I had also frozen. (I took some to Ms. Diane the other day and she was so excited - she hadn't had white castles since she moved out here many years ago from Minnesota).  Anyway, Ms. Vicki knows I'm up earl;y and just text'd me a thank you for the white castles and cake... said she liked them, and was planning to have the remaining two today for lunch.    I love sharing with others and enjoying them myself as well.  I do still have some in the freezer yet.... they probably won't last too much longer, but at least a couple weeks.  I can only eat a couple at a time... and have time in between.  Never want to lose my desire to have them.  Maybe I can do a 'road trip' over there one more time at least before Christmas... hmmm wouldn't that make a good family gift for Christmas?  Not! But it's a thought. 

As I am thinking how to close this today, Psalm 46:10 comes to mind... one of my favorite...

Psalm 46:10 (NKJV):  "Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalt among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."

Be still.   For some of us that is extremely hard.  Our mind is usually racing around all over the palce and we keep thinking about how much we need to get done.  This morning I'm watching the clock as I know I will need to get working in less than an hour.    But I also know that I desperately need to take the time to just be still and sit before God and just let Him speak to me.  In fact, I think I'm going to close this off and just get out of my chair, sit on my prayer rug, and just wait and listen for His voice.  He doesn't always speak, but sometimes, if I am still, I know He is talking to me.  I love those times of quiet and stillness.

Try it.  Just sit back and close your eyes.  Turn your thoughts to Him, and be still.  What do you think He wants to say to you today?

Blessings!

The shofar was blowing this morning....

I splurged not long ago and bought some cds of instrumental music that I can play while in my quiet time.  I starting playing them this weekend, rather, one of them, and have it playing now.  A soothing quiet tone of different instruments, one being the shofar.  The call to my Abba, is what I always think of when I hear the shofar, no matter where I am.  Turning my thoughts to Him, my soul and my heart at rest.  Holy He is. It is always good to just sit in His Holy Presence and surrender myself to Him and just worship.....  my own way, between He and I, just worshipping the One who forgives me, and loves me, no matter what I have done, no matter what I will do... I've confessed all... I've been forgiven all... yeah.. He loves me, and you, that much.  

I read a question this morning and my mind immediately had an answer, but I wanted to read and dig in to it some before sharing it on here.  I'm glad my first thought was correct.  The question was raised... Exodus 2:11-22.... Because of his actions, was Moses allowed into heaven?

Let me give you the background of this question before I answer it.   Moses was a Hebrew baby who was placed in a basket to be saved from being killed by the current Pharaoh.  The sister of the Pharaoh, a princess, found the basket and she knew he was a Hebrew.  It wasn't just because of the Hebrew blanket that was probably with him, as is shown in movie 'The Ten Commandments'.... but because he was circumcised.  Hadn't really thought about that before, but it is one thing that stood out as I looked in to the background.  The princess took this baby to raise as her own, and he was given great education and training in many things.  He was favored over the Pharaoh's son in many things, which did not set well with this son.  But Moses determined that he should live as a Hebrew, and not as a member of the royal Egyptian family.  And so he frequently was out and about among the Hebrews.

But one day, he saw an Egyptian slavemaster beating one of the Hebrew slaves - and Moses intervened and killed him.  He thought no one saw him, but he was seen and it was made known to Pharoah, who then sought to kill Moses.  Now mind you, This Pharaoh, Thutmose III had een raised with Moses.  The murder of a slavemaster by a prominent member of the royal family was not enough to warrant a death sentence, but Pharaoh, wanting to get rid of any other authority that could come up against him (the father's sister's had interfered frequently), and in his jealousy of Moses, had the desire to kill Moses - and it was about removing Moses so that he would not succeed to the throne in place of the current Pharaoh or his son.

So Moses fled through the desert to Midian (decendents of Keturah, who was Abraham's wife after Sarah died), where he met Zipporah, his wife.  As you know, Moses eventually was called by God through the burning bush, telling him he was to go back to Egypt and bring the Israelites out of Egypt into the promised land.

So let's go back to the question I was asked.  "Because of his actions, was Moses allowed into heaven?"

I will say yes.  He committed manslaughter!  How could he go to heaven?  For one thing, it was justified because he didn't premeditate it, he saw someone being beaten and he intervened.  Hence the manslaughter charge versus murder.  But... in spite of that.... God used Moses to deliver His people out of Egypt.  Moses did more than commit manslaughter.... he disobeyed God.  Gasp!  Wouldn't that be enough to keep him out of heaven?  He even argued with God about delivering the people out of Egypt  How dare he!  He lost his temper with the Israelites (Exodus 32:19) and he wasn't allowed to enter the promised land because he disobeyed God (Numbers 20:6-12).  But Moses died full of grace and favor with God because he got up more times than he fell down.  Does that make sense?

We can identify with Moses as a young man when guilty of manslaughter (how many times have we 'killed' someone in our heart or mind?), but we can also identify with his fears and doubts when God called him to deliver His people.  But Moses was brave, he was faithful, he was very outspoken, but he was also compassionate and loyal.  In spite of all he went through taking the Israelites through the desert for 40 years, Moses kept his eye on the eternal prize.  He was a failure, but he was also faithful, and God honored his faithfulness instead of rejecting him for his failures.   

Moses was told by God to go to Mount Nebo, in the land of the Moabites, view the land of Canaan which God gave to the Israelites, but because of Moses' disobedience in striking the rock for water instead of speaking to it as God commanded, he could not enter... Moses died on Mount Nebo, and God buried him in a valley in the land of Moab.

When we read of Jesus' transfiguration in Matthew 17:1-13, Mark 9:2-13, and Luke 9:27-36 - who were the two men who were with Jesus as He was transfigured?  Elijah..... and Moses.   

Does that answer the question of 'because of his actions, was Moses allowed into heaven?'?.... I believe it does.  If Moses had gone to hell, he certainly would not be brought up to be with Jesus at His transfiguration.  

If you have failed, do not give up.  God used Moses, and He wants to use you.  Will you say 'yes' to Him, and allow Him to use you?  You are as great as Moses was... what is it that God is calling you to that you have been using every excuse to not do?  Maybe it's time to say 'yes' to God.  

Blessings!

Saturday blahs....

 I went out shopping again yesterday... have I ever told you that I really dislike shopping?  Unless I can buy for someone else.  For myself, not so much.  Sigh.  I went to Sam's Club (hubby went with me and we spent way too much).... after dropping him off I headed to JoAnn's and picked up (surprise!) yarn that I needed to finish a project.  Didn't see anything else I wanted.  Then on to Macy's.  I walked the upper level and the lower level of Macy's - and found othing.  I walked out in the court areas.... I drooled at Cinnabon and debated on buying some, but decided $5.99 for one is too much when I didn't need it anyway.  Then I drooled at Auntie Annes over the pretzels... and walked away from there empty handed as well.  I even stopped and glanced over the gelato section in the middle of the walk.... and forced myself to keep walking.  So I bought nothing other than yarn yesterday.  And that's ok.  I don't have to buy something every time I go out.

I also got over to see Ms. Diane yesterday and bless her heart, she had me a birthday card and a gift card laid out.  she was frustrated that it had laid there all week cause I was there the Saturday before my birthday on Wednesday - and I hadn't been back!  And that's ok.  Hubby was thrilled - the gift card is for Olive Garden.

We didn't make it to the gym yesterday and hubby says we'll go today.  Will see.  We were supposed to go Thursday as well.  I'm on vacation - right?  I would probably feel better if I moved some.  The 'real world' out there is quickly coming on the horizon and things will need to get back to normal.  Church tomorrow and back to work on Monday.  Oh joy.   But I know I need this job to keep me busy, if nothing else.  Getting away for a few days helps with the burnout, but I don't think I could just sit at home .... and I don't need nor care about shopping.... I can only crochet so much.... only watch so many TV shows or movies... bake so much....  I need something to work my mind and keep it functioning.  Reading is good, but again, one can only read so much.

Or sleep so much.  Bed around 10PM again last night and I turned the alarm off this morning and we slept until after 6AM again.  Her eit is now going on 9AM and I feel so lazy already!  My coffee hasn't done anything for me, so guess I'll grab an energy drink this morning to see if it will make me motivated to do something.  Maybe going to the gym will be a good thing.

Well, hubby said we could stay in here as long as I wanted this morning, but it is after 9AM now so I probably ought to get my butt up out of the chair and moving about.  He's probably wanting breakfast.  Groan...  he will probably want to go out... and we just may.... but I do need to get dressed.

Sorry - I've got a lot on my mind this morning and need to process some things.....maybe I'll be back on track tomorrow.

Blessings...

Something to think about....

 I read in one of my books this morning about Jesus' returning to call His saints 'home'.  The book is a new book, "Preparing to Meet Jesus" by Anne Graham Lotz and her daughter Rachel Ruth.... I signed up for this 28 day study, but it hasn't started yet, and I didn't want to wait, so actually started yesterday.  Today I read day 2 and it really gave me something to think about.  And it should you, as well.

If Jesus returned today, what would He find you doing?  Would you be found yelling at your spouse or child?  Would you be found cheating at a game; your job?  Would He find you having road rage?  Would He find you in adultery? Would He find you stealing?  How would Jesus find you if He should return today?

As I have reflected on my life, I sadly find many times I wouldn't want Jesus to find me doing some things.  I believe I've shared before that my sister and I often joke that we hope that when Jesus comes it is on a 'good day' when we aren't mad at our spouses!  But what if Jesus found us WORSHIPPING Him? Wouldn't that be totally awesome?  How much of your day is spent alone with Him, just sitting and worshipping?

Don't have time during the day?  Can't focus on Him that early in the morning?  Why not pause before going to bed, grab that Bible that is gathering dust off the bookcase, and start reading (start with one o fthe Gospels - i.e., Matthew, Mark, Luke, John - and learn about Jesus.  'Read the Red' is how it is often put.  Read Jesus' words - you can't go wrong.  Reflect on what He is saying.... and how to apply that to your life.  You will never regret taking that time to spend with Him.  Just sit and talk with Him like you are having a conversation with a friend.   He knows you aren't perfect - no one is but Jesus.  Tell Him how you feel.  Listen with your heart; knowing His Word helps you to know what is true and that it is Jesus speaking to you.  The joy of it all.  Pause.  Or as the Bible does it in the Psalms.... 'Selah'.

I cleared out my inbox for work yesterday - had over 300 emails.  I responded to a few, and got my hand smacked from a couple of friends to 'get off the computer - you're on PTO!'.  LOL  It actually took me a few hours to get through everything.  But it felt good to clear them out.  I may have over a 100 by tonight, but as of right now, I'm not checking for emails - this is my last day of work vacation and I want to enjoy it.

After clearing messages yesterday, and white castles again for lunch, I headed out to do some shopping.  I went to Michaels to pick up yarn, but they didn't have what I NEEDED.  From there I went to Burlington.... hubby had given me a gift card for my birthday so I wandered around there for awhile. Stopped at TJ Maxx which is just down from it... then headed on to Barnes and Noble as I heard they were having a 50% sale... actually it is buy one get one for 50% off... they are getting desperate for customers I think as I overheard a new program they got that spend so much get so much off your next purchase... anyway, nothing there caught my eye (imagine that!).  I need to go to the one at Metro, assuming they still have the rows of marked down books.... this one up here doesn't... and I don't like it as much.

After Barnes and Noble I found my way to Hobby Lobby, thinking I just might find something there. Nope.  I talked myself out of getting any material, since I haven't been sewing, and their yarn area has been so reduced that I didn't see the color I needed, and I don't know enough about patterns (other than just my usual granny stitch baby blanket) to buy up yarn to make something.  I really do want to learn and I even looked at crochet/knitting books, but found nothing, especially since I know I can go to Pinterest or You Tube and find whatever I want - free.

After Hobby Lobby I was tired, and I was getting hungry.  Decided to stop at a place I had never been to before.  Leo's Island BBQ.   I didn't know what to get so bought two of their combo plates so that we could try different things - so I got one with panko coated shrimp, bbq chicken, a huge scoop of macoroni salad and two big scoops of white rice - the shrimp and the chicken sat on top of cooked cabbage with carrots and broccoli.  The other had bbq chicken and bbq short ribs (they were flattened)... with the cooked cabbage and broccoli and rice and macaroni salad.  All the meat was pounded flat - but I tell you what - it was all very good!   For the two combos (one would have been plenty for hubby and I, but I wasn't sure) cost around $30, I think.  Their regular plates are $13.89 or something like that - and they look good too.  We have leftovers for lunch today.  I would order it again, it was that good.  But not on a regular basis.  They had a real good katsu sauce (sweet) and a teriyaki sauce that we could dip the meat in.  It's all cut up in small strips.  At least the chicken was.  Very little BBQ that I could tell, but it was good.

I came home tired from  all my shopping and all I bought was a book I found at Hobby Lobby on the clearance table.  I showed it to hubby when I got home and he goes 'thank you'.  I looked at him and told him I didn't buy it for him.... I bought it to be read by both of us.   See, I buy him too many things when I'm out - he assumes whatever I bring home is for him!

I told him last night - that today I will be heading out again - this time to JoAnns as I expect to find the yarn color I need to finish a project. I'll also look around and see if there is anything I want or need there.  Probably not.  Many times I've gone in and turnedd around and walked back out with nothing.  I may go to Macy's, I've gotten several notices they are having a sale - some 70% off.  If you recall, I did find some clothes a couple months ago on their clearance rack... I may need to check it out.

Hubby has gone to his Bible study this morning and I've enjoyed my time alone.  We didn't even wake up until 6AM this morning - but we did go to bed at 10PM last night.  It felt good to 'wake up' on my own without knowing I HAD to get up for work.  Enjoying the quiet of the morning.  LOL speaking of Macy's, I just got another notification of 'fantastic sales' they are having.  I can walk in, walk around, and walk out with nothing and have done it many times.  But I may go 'check it out' today - just to have alone time.  Also need to do a run to Fry's or Sam's Club and buy some groceries.  Maybe.   As long as I can be creative and make something to feed him, hubby is happy.  I'd like to go to the gym or the rec center too.... maybe I can talk hubby in to the rec center versus the gym today.  It's closer, anyway.  Maybe I'll get dressed now and head over to Sam's Club before it gets busy today - after all, today is Friday.  Don't need much, but need to pick up a few things.

I guess I have rambled enough this morning - so will close this off.  But back to the start of this blog and the question...

"If Jesus returned today, what would He find you doing?"

What are  your responsibilities for today?  What is your attitude towards them?  Are we complaining about things or are we grateful for what we have to serve, to give, to share?  King Solomon, the wisest man who has ever lived other than Jesus, challenges us with "whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might."  Commit that Jesus will find you faithfully doing what He has called you to do with all your heart... as we prepare to see Him face to face when He returns....

Blessings!

Back to the same o same o... sigh...

 We made it home safely yesterday, and even did a detour to White Castles.  My oldest son had sent me the address before we left as I had mentioned heading there for lunch on the way out. (thank you!)  But, I decided not to jump off track on our way up.  But, on the way back, I had my mind made up.  We were too close to NOT stop and pick up.  And just because I wanted to, I picked up a case for us - and for each of my children.  And it was fun surprising each one.  It's not something I can do often, actually, I don't know when I have ever been able tos surprise them like this.  But, we made our rounds on our way back home.  And it felt so good, it really did.  We ate a couple white castles  as we unloeded the car.  I put several in the refrigerator, meaning to take some to Ms. Diane and Ms. Vicky - but didn't make it last night.  The rest were bagged and put in the freezer.  I discovered before that if I freeze some in a baggie, when we want them, I can take out and thaw - then throw in the microwave for about 30 seconds, I think, and they come out as soft as if I had just bought them.  Yum.

Last night was our usual boring night.  We unpacked, put things away.  Thensince I didn't cook dinner, and we had eaten white Castles.... hubby wanted to check the news - and then, sure enough, the question.  "Want to watch a movie?"  Sigh.   The wifi was so bad at the cabin the movies we did try to watch had constant buffering.  So we ended up watching two movies.  He would have driven me crazy if I hadn't agreed.  I know it sounds petty.... I wasn't tired... but I just wanted quiet.  I'm thinking he may let it stay quiet tonight - after the news.  After all, he does have a lot to catch up on.  He will be busy today - he didn't take his computer and you can just imagine how many hundreds of junk political emails he has in his account.  Plus, if he still plans to go to his Bible study tomorrow morning (hope, hope), he will need to work on his lesson today.

I know I will need to jump on the work computer; saw a couple invoices had been returned and I need to find out why, plus I have over 200 emails I need to filter through.  And I still have today and tomorrow to go!  But I will get them done. Sometime. Maybe this morning, just to keep busy.  Housecleaners come this morning and it will help keep me out of their way.  I do plan to go shopping later to pick up yarn and whatever else I can't live without. I'm actually thinking of going to antique stores and just look.  I have no place to put anything, but I do love to bring back memories of dishes my mother or my granny used.  I still recall the first time I took my daughter to the Brass Armadillo.  With a loud voice she exclaimed "this is an old person's yard sale!"  Yeah, it is.  Treasured memories of some things.  Maybe I'll look for an estate sale or two in this area... sometimes I can find something that I can actually use and keep my memory alive of times that were.

I don't know about hubby, but I did not sleep well last night.  I was still awake at 11PM.... and was awakened durng the night with loud rumblings of thunder... but never heard any rain.  Finally got up at 4AM as usual.  I did sleep some here in my chair this morning - even after he had to come in and talk to me.  Sigh.  The past few months if he wants to talk about something, he will come in and talk... he used to leave me in my quiet time and not interrupt. Now it is just a location where I am sitting now, not noting that I'm reading my Bible or praying...  he doesn't do it every morning, but he has to nearly always ask... 'what time did you get up this morning?' (does it matter?)  He kept me awake last night just from his body heat.  Then we have gone from a 6" foam mattress (which neither of us slept well on) back to our firm mattress, and it was like laying on the ground to me. Whine. I feel stiff and sore this morning.  So yeah, I was trying to go back to sleep this morning and I'm thinking I did, based on the clock.  grumble.

I hear the landscapers out this morning - which is a good thing.  Now to get hubby out to water the plants that haven't been watered all week.  Sigh.  It was too hot to go water yesterday he said - .... and yet, they haven't been watered since we left last Friday.  I'm ready to jerk everything out and throw away and just start over next spring.    I know!  I could go buy some new flowers at Home Depot today and plant flowers too! That would bring me joy.  But I have to do it.... and part of me is afraid that hubby would want us to do it together.... sigh..... some things are meant to be done alone.  Right?

I only have today and tomorrow left of work vacation....  so many things I would like to do.... sure do miss the cooler temperatures from up north.  We really enjoyed sitting ont he back porch, watching the humingbirds zoom (leterally!!) back and forth and through the porch, sitting out watching the rain fall.  The quiet.  Yeah, it was nice.  And here we are now back in the heat and the complaining and the big city.  And life goes on.

Well, I have started my ramblings and have deleted some things.... so guess I'll close this off and get on the day.  At least I don't HAVE to work this morning, but if I can clear emails that would be a good thing.  Need to pick things up off the floor for the cleaners too.   But first, I probably ought to get dressed.... maybe fix a shake for breakfast.    Maybe something will come alive to share tomorrow morning - who knows!

Blessings!

Going home...

 I'm not sure if hubby is ready to go back to the 'real world' today, but I am.  I can only 'not do anything but   read and crochet' for so long.  I don't think I would do good in a retirement setting... unless I got to do the things I like to do... just saying.   Getaways like this always make me grateful for a job to go back to.

We had a fairly quiet day yesterday (imagine that).... and did go down to the Wild Women Saloon and Grill for lunch.  I couldn't decide on a sandwich so a turkey avocado sandwich on parmesea sourdough melt was recommended.  Oh my goodness - it was so big and so good.  I could only eat half of it - hubby ate the other half for his dinner last night.  That was about the extent of our leaving the place yesterday. We did walk around the empty shops again.  And yes, they were still empty.  But at least we got a little exercise.

Today is my little sister's birthday and I did get an ecard sent to her this morning via email and text'd her as well.  I will try calling her after I get home.  Not that she would care if I did or not.. yeah, I'm on her list again.  But I ignore that and do what I always do; pray for her and wish her blessed day.  At least she responded 'thank you'.  LOL  

This morning wil be spent packing things up and loading up the car to head out by 10AM.   If not before. I'm so ready to get home and truly relax in my own little world. I even know where stores are that I can go shopping!  I do need to pick up a couple skeins of yarn (imagine that!) to finish up a Christmas project.  And my granddaughter has mentioned there are websites I can go to that will show me how to make things for Christmas.  So you may get a new beanie for Christmas or a scarf this year.  I told you I am cutting way back on shopping.  I want to prepare wisely for Christmas and give gifts that can be used.

If you know of anyone who could use a 5'6" freezer, I have a friend who is selling it for $400.  Also a Maytag dryer for $300.  Just throwing it out there.

Can't wait to get back to the gym tomorrow and exercising.  I did wall planks last night - lol - don't want to lose the biceps I've gained!   No training sessions this week; I cancelled them all  - afterall, I am on vacation.  But my body is wanting to be worked out so hopefully I will follow through and get my butt over there.

And I'll be so glad to have real light that I can see to read better.  It's really been hard, and I dont' think it is just me. I turned the flashlight on my phone a couple times this morning - it was hard to make out some of the words.  But, with that as well, I did read my Bible and am reminded of God's faithfulness to us when we are obedient to Him.

Matthew 6:24 (NIV):  "No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one or love the other, or you will be devoted to one and despise the other.  You cannot serve both God and money."

We all know people who focus only on how much money they have or how much money they make or how much they can buy with what they have.... little do they realize that even that can easily be taken away from them.

We have known nothing... had nothing but food on the table and a roof over our head... but God always provided for us and what need we had.  Even when we had to find another place to live, God provided what we needed for the time we needed it.  We've never had much money; many times none at all.  Burger King was a treat many times.  I look back on those times and know that it is only by God's grace that we made it through those times.  I know why we had those difficult times, and I cna't 'live there'... but must leave it in the past.   But God has continued to watch over us and bless us and provide for our every need.

Yes, I consider a trip like this frivilous... and I've already told hubby I want to shorten it by at least a day or even two.  He isn't in agremenet, and since he saves to do it, I suppose I ought to leave it alone.  But he gets me off by ourselves... and then there is not much to do.  I've already complained about why so won't go there again.  But, a getaway is nice... but sometimes just 2-3 days is enough.  For me, anyway.  I'd be happy with getting a day off someplace by myself just to mediate and spend that time with God and have no talking or TV or distractions.

God must come first.  Did you know that God is a jealous God?  He is!  He must come first; for he doesn't like to share our devotion with anyone or anything else.  That's why the commandment 'there shall be no other gods before Me."  That means NONE.  Nothing that we put ahead of Him - whether it be bible study, ministry, food, TV, children, grandchildren...........nothing must come before Him.  Yes, He wants us to enjoy those things; they are there for our pleasure.  BUT, God must be first in our life.  Sometimes I will admit that is hard... we see something we want and go get it. (yes, I'm guilty of that too).  The problem is, we (I) don't stop and ask Him "Is this something I should buy?  Should I wait?"  Sometimes He wants to GIVE us something rather than us PAY for it.  We just get to be so impatient and want everything.  

How about we try it for a day or so.... stop and ask God if you should do such and such.  Or if you should buy such and such.  Some things ae unnecessary, of course, but the big things... do we really NEED that >>>>> or would one of lessor value work just fine.... I'm thinking of my car.  The dealership where I purchased it in 2019 is STILL contacting me via email, text, and phone calls, wanting me to trade in my 2017 car.  I love my little car.... it's the perfect size for me now.  I don't want to trade it in. Besides, it's paid for.  I dont' need a newer car.  Besides, God provided this one for me and helped me pay it off.  Why would I trade a perfectly good car in for something I would have to deal with payments again on?  I like not having a car payment!  I like being out of debt.  I like having a little extra that 1) we can do trips like this and 2) I can help others as God leads me to help them.  Sometimes I can fix or buy a meal and take over to them.  Sometimes it is just sending them a little money because God has prompted me to do so.  He has been so good to us, I'm happy to give away as He leads me.  

With God, I have everything I need.   I just need to be listening more to Him and less to my 'wants'.  He is more faithful than anyone or anything.  What He provides, always is enough.  What are you holding on to that you have managed to put before God?  Choose wisely.

Blessings!

We did the shopping thing...

 Hubby wanted to go to a nearby city and maybe find some antique shops (for me) to walk through.  Things have certainly changed since we were last up in this area, lots of new buildings, businesses, and housing.  We drove out aways and then stopped at KFC for lunch.  We found a strip mall that had a very small JCPenneys and a very small Big 5 Sporting Goods, and we went in to both. Oh, found a small Ross too.  Hubby got a belt he wanted and a couple other things at another place, I actually bought myself a new pair of tennis shoes (much less than what I have bought the last two times and will work just as well. I guess one could say we had a 'shopping spree'.  Coming back we did one last thing... DQ. Yeah, I saw they had one up here, and I got my turtle pecan blizzard and hubby got his chocolate malt.  That ended up being 'dinner' as it was mid-afternoon.  Later we watched - with a lot of buffering due to poor wifi service - 'Twister'  with Helen Hunt and Bill Paxton.  I have always enjoyed that movie, although it does have some language in it.  All in all, it was a good anniversary day.  And I didn't have to cook at all.

Today is our last full day here and my mind has been working overtime on what to do today and preparing to pack to head home tomorrow.  We haven't really 'ate out' - and I haven't cooked that much.  Have two TV dinners and one other dinner in the freezer still.  May end up just leaving one in the freezer, having the TV dinners for lunch today, perhaps.  No, I want us to go to the Wild Woman Saloon for lunch - I do know they used to have good hamburgers and it would be nice to eat out beyond fast food at least once on vacation.  We can have the TV dinners for dinner, if we are still hungry.  I know hubby will go along with whatever I want to do.

I think we finally got a decent sleep last night.  I must be getting used to the foam mattress, or I was just really tired.  Hubby found another pillow and he didn't toss and turn as much.  Neither of us got up until nearly 6AM - but we didn't go to bed until probably around 10PM which is late for us.  Regardless, the deep sleep felt good after being so restless the past few nights.  One night to go and then we'll be in our own bed, at least for a couple nights.

Hubby wants to go up to Beararizona yet this week.  It's as far from here as it is from home.  So we will go home tomorrow and unpack.... I'm thinking in my mind that maybe we will go up Thursday some time and stay overnight, do Beararizona Friday morning and then head back down to the valley.  Or even stop overnight at someplace on the way back.  Afterall, I/we are on vacation.   I'm still processing the thought in my mind on going up Thursday or going up Friday.  It's about a 2.5 hour drive one way and I'm sure hubby will insist on driving this time. Not sure if I will argue.  But getting out of town again, we may as well stay overnight ... and drive back the next day.  Just chilling... I don't know. Processing.  We haven't been to Beararizona and people have told us that it is great to go through. And a weekday would be better than a weekend.

Matthew 5:6 (NIV) : "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled."

I read through Matthew 5 this morning, and as I read through the Beatitudes (Be Attitudes)....  I paused on verse 6.  Blessed are those who hunger and thirst to know the truth, to know the Word, to seek after what they do not know.....  The character quality of that scripture is obedience.  and to do that is to hear and desire to do the will of God.  One should have all the characteristics of the Beattitudes, but this one stood out to me today.  Why? Because it is my heart's desire to hear God's Word and then obey what His Word says to do.  

Many times I fail because I just don't want to do it.  (I'm sure you do that as well).  Many times I fail because I want to do things MY way and not God's way.  (Yeah, you do that too, don't you!)  But the point is... I fail when I do not follow what the Word of God says to do.  His book of instructions (The Bible), is not for our restriction, it is for our INSTRUCTION.  It is to help us live.  The ten commandments are  not to keep us from having fun, but to show us how to live and have fruitful lives.  His Word is not to hurt or harm us, but to give us Hope and Eternal Life in Him.  There is nothing greater than that.

I keep reading my Bible because I want to know more about God and about Jesus and about the Holy Spirit.  And I have learned some things this week just by reading my Bible and other books.  Another time I will go into some of them.  But for now, I will suggest that you read in your Bible Matthew 5, and then ponder which of these Beatitudes could apply to you.  What would you desire?   I read an intersting quote in the new women's Bible i recently purchased for myself.... now mind you, it is from a WOMEN's Bible.... but you can change the words to reflect a man's.....

"People before things; People before projects; Family before friends; Husband before children; Husband before parents; Tithe before wants; Bible before opinions; Jesus before all."

We've also often used the word 'JOY' - "Jesus first, Others second, Yourself last".

I'm sure in our minds we all have thought of people who do things their way and don't follow the Word of God at all.  Or like others to think that they do.  Just because we post things on facebook about following Jesus or loving Jesus more than anything, doens't mean that we do.  As we all know, actions speak louder than words.

So what are your actions saying today?  And yes, I'm looking at myself as well. I will never point out something the Bible says and think I am doing jsut that.  Why?  Because if we follow one commandment (i.e., do not kill), and yet we do not another, (i.e., honor your mother and father), we are still breaking the commandments.  And yes, I just used what popped into my mind.  Another could be to 'have no other gods before Me'.... 'do not take the Name of the Lord God in vain'....  just saying.

But God does give us grace... I read the obituary of a nephew in law yesterday and in it - 'he gave his life to Jesus in 2018 and although he said he may still cuss, he was 100% belonging to Jesus' (my paraphrase cause I don't remember the excat words).  But that stood out to me.  We don't have to be perfect to come to Jesus.  He accepts us just as we are.  

And for that I am so grateful.  I will never be perfect or pure or holy in my eyes.... but I will always strive to be His.

Blessings!