Monday, Monday.... it's that day...

Can't remember exactly how that song goes, but I remember the first two words - Monday Monday.  Yeah, that is to  day.  Which means I'm back at work again after a fun and quiet weekend. 

Got to have lunch with my middle child on Saturday and it was so fun.  We were able to have good conversation, good food, and just quality time together, and that means so much to me.  He even found a place close to our house that we can go to.  Prices were good, food was good (although I just had a salad it was still good and I ate it all). 

In fact, we thought about stopping there for lunch yesterday.  We were out - hubby wanted to go look for a new recliner.  After he found one he liked (thank you, Father, it was at the first stop!!) we decided to grab something to eat as it was going on 2PM.   Unfortunately, with COVID, people must be eating later or something cause the two places we went by seemed to be full and one had two families waiting.  We were told there it was a 15 minute wait.  Normally I may have said ok - but I wasn't in the mood for waiting yesterday. 

So this new place was a possible option - other than fast food.  It was brought up - but we decided an ice cream bar that was in our freezer would work well for "lunch" and I would fix an early dinner in a couple hours.  So that is what we did - and I saved $$. :-)    Ice Cream bar was yummy.  And we shared a New York strip steak a few hours later with vegetables so hubby was happy too. That was yummy too.

I was able to get a few more boxes unpacked on Saturday.  Still have so many to go through.  I see 'office' or 'craft cabinet' and I so do not want to go through those.  Yes, there will be some things I need to keep (that's the only reason to go through them) but I know there is much I can dispose of too.  I need to try and get a box done a day so that I can get more out of storage.  I know my white china is still in storage as I haven't unpacked any of those yet.
 
We have a baby shower this Saturday for a granddaughter so won't get much done as far as unpacking, I don't think.  Will see.  One thing I have discovered is that with this humidity and hot weather, even a couple hours unpacking and I am physically exhausted.  I've never experienced such tiredness before and it saddens me, for it means I AM getting older, whether I want to or not.  Plus add in work.

Twice last week I was weary and hubby walks in and asks what is wrong.  Twice I told him "I want to quit work.  I'm so tired of having to do this."  And without a word he turns and walks away.  It is really sad that he makes me feel I am just a paycheck for him.  Yes, he does try to make my life a bit easier in other ways, but he doesn't get it.  I may take a little time off, but once the quarantine is lifted, I would be trying to find another job somewhere - even fast food - for I couldn't stand to just sit at home.   I would have to be doing something just for spending money.  But of course too it wouldn't be even half of what I make now, which is what we survive on.  I keep telling hubby we need to save as much as we can, because there will come a time that I will be asked to leave work.  I won't be able to keep up on all the nuances of office stuff.  And if they get a new office on the other side of Mesa or in Chandler as they are talking, and I have to go in everyday, it isn't going to happen.  I am not going to spend my life on the road, even though I don't mind the drive anymore.  I am weary when I get home after driving for 1.5 hours and then I have to fix dinner too.

Well, it's nearly time for my day to begin so will get off here and get dressed to start the day.  My little sister sent me a new devotional from the movie The Chosen and I started it this morning. It's pretty good.  Day one talks about 'fear not'.  I don't feel afraid.  Not of life, the future, or being without a paycheck.  I know we can make it.  It would be tight, I agree, but I'm ok with that.  I'm into quality, not quanity.  I don't have to be afraid, for I know that God is always with me.

Are you afraid?  Then I tell you - "Fear not, for the Lord is with you."

Blessings!

Missing my mama.....

This morning as I finished reading my Bible and another book, praying some, I was relaxing in my chair, praising God.  As I sat here in a relaxed mode, Sheeba barked.  She is still in her crate.  Waiting to hear hubby go let her out to take her outside, I sat up and listened.

I look to my left at the bookcase and there is a stack of note books that over the years  I have written in.  I've written my thoughts, my longings, and sometimes my prayers as well.  Some of these I know are full of lots of grumblings and discontent as well as seeking God and His forgiveness, His Presence.

I reach over and pick up a journal, curious as to what I could have written, and when I would have written it.    A paper falls out, and it is my mother's obituary.  I am reminded that she has been gone 20 years this year.  Where has all that time gone?

20 years.  I look at the dates written in this journal and I see that some of the dates encompass the time that mama was sick and in the hospital, and after she died.  Some day I will sit down and reread what I wrote during that time, but not today.  I don't think I wrote much, because my prayers and writings most days are the same.  More of You, Jesus.  More of You is all my heart desires.  Make me an instrument that You can use.  Change me.  Use me.  Empty me of me, and fill me with You.

Those words I still write in my journals often, for that is my heart's desire. 

I know I am not perfect.  No one is, but Jesus.  And I am way down on that totem pole.  But am I someone who people can tell that I love the Lord and that I try hard to serve him?  I know my attitude has gotten worse over the years and my blogs have shown that.  I'm sorry.  I have begun taking this to share my feelings, my hurt, my anger, and yes, even bitterness.

But it's not about ME.  I must remember that I choose Jesus over my own wants and wishes.  There is nothing I need, for He supplies it all.  I choose Him over everything, and everyone.

I remember doing that many, many years ago.  Giving myself up.  I distinctly remember it.  I had one granddaughter then and I was so worried about her because her father was hanging out with the wrong people.  I was terrified that something would happen to her.  I constantly prayed over her and prayed for protection.

One day as I was backing out of the driveway to go to work, God spoke to me.  He said, "Do you trust Me?"  I said, "Yes, Lord, I trust You."  And he said it again, "Do you trust Me to take care of this child?"   Oh the struggle within me!   I stopped the car and said, "Yes Lord, I trust You to take care of this child."   Then He said, "Then trust Me."

With tears flowing down my face, I tightened my hand into a fist and lifted it up to God and said, "Ok, I give this child to You.  I trust You."  I opened my hand and the tingling from holding my fist so tightly began.   And it symbolized my releasing this precious child whom I loved so dearly to .  She was no longer my worry.  I trusted God to take care of her, no matter what.  And He did.  And He has.

Sometimes it is hard to let go of things we hold dear.  So very, very hard.  I'm going through that with all the things I have held on to for years and am now unpacking, giving away, and letting go of.

I am a lot like my mama.  I held on to things.  Perhaps not like she did, and I never want to be that way.  I am my own person, not my mama.  We have a lot of the same likes, same ideas about things, but I am not my mama.  I loved my mama, and I love her still.  Nothing can take that away.  I don't always understand why she did the things she did - or didn't do.  But she is still my mama.

Interestingly, I don't remember her reading her Bible or praying, yet I have her Bible.  I even have my father's Bible. 

But that doesn't make them who they were.  This morning, as I read the obituary of my mama, I remember the daily phone calls we had the last few years she was alive.  I began to call her mamacita - and she would laugh.   I've missed those phone calls, bouncing ideas off her, telling her my pain and sorrow and asking for direction on what to do.  Telling her about the joys I have with my grandchildren.

Sometimes I just need to sit back and think about mama.  This morning is one of those times.  At least for a little while.  Still have to work today.

Blessings!

Stresses that Fracture

I'm taking that title this morning as it is the title of a chapter in one of the books I'm reading as a devotional.   I'm going to try to relate it to my life, but will steal also from the book The Finishing Touch by Charles Swindoll.

Stress.  That confusion created when one's mind overrides the body's desire to choke the living daylights out of some jerk who desperately needs it.   (sound like something you have - and someone you know?)

You won't find that definition in the dictionary, but right now I think it should be.   Up until recently (yes, things have been going quite well this week) that is what my life has been.  Extremely stressful.  And as stress has been here before, I know that I can expect it to come again.

Over-commitment.  Deadlines for work.  Meetings to attend.  Minutes to take.  Reports to create.  Surveys to send out.  Unrealized expectations.  People problems.  Calls to return.  Letters I need to write.  Major interruptions for whatever reason.  Enormous vet bills that say the dog has an itch and to buy a cream for it (that you may only use twice).  Choked traffic lanes on the freeway.  Eating too much, too fast.  Refrigerators dying.  Emails piling up and getting larger.  Letters or texts from someone close to you that feels they need to correct me, to put me down.  Texts that I have no idea where they come from, what created the hatred in the words.  Text after text from someone who I loved and cherished and destroyed my faith.

That was 7 years ago.  And the number 7 is symbolizing completeness.  I forgave that person years ago, but the words crush me as deeply today when they come at me.  No, they don't come from that person directly, but from the enemy.   I turned the other cheek because I knew not from where this intense hatred and anger came.   They were a jerk.  I never said that before.  I shared with a few people what had happened, but no one knows the stress it put upon my life.  Upon my walk with God.

Oh I know that God never failed me.  Was it a test?  Was He seeing what I would do?  Did He allow this person to beat me up so badly that I felt devalued and worthless?  Perhaps it was the timing of it all.  If it had happened another time - and actually one similar to it had happened, and I cried, broken-hearted.  I forgave, and moved on.  When you suffer from stress fractures, the soft cushion of tolerance gets deflated, leaving nerves raw and feelings bloody.

There was a Sports Illustrated article years ago that painted a vivid picture.

   'A stress fracture begins when the shocks and strains of playing game after game create microscopic cracks in the outer layers of the bone - usually in the legs and feet.  If the pounding continues and those tiny crevices, which often go undetected, aren't allowed to heal, they can enlarge.  When the cracks become large enough to cause pain, they are stress fractures.'

Stress fractures aren't limited to athletes.  Microscopic cracks in bones are painful,, but can they match the hurt of a stress-fractured spirit....an aching heart?  That's a pain like none other, isn't it?  It's deep.  It throbs.  It lingers in the day and haunts you through the night.  And sometimes hangs in there on your heart for weeks, for months, for years.

Some folks treat their stress fractures with booze and drugs, extramarital affairs, and hyperactive lifestyles, pouring themselves into their habits, or into their jobs. That's no treatment.  It's  more like pouring a jug of gasoline on a match.  There has to be a better way.

So what do we do to stop the pounding?  Ah, that's the question.  "Lighten up" is a start.  Try not to make a federal case out of everything that happens.  Then, laugh more. Admit those imperfections.  Let some stuff go.  Don't try to be Wonder Woman or the all-powerful Superman.  Talk to a friend.  Get away for a fun weekend.  Go see a movie.  Get absorbed in a fine, relaxing book.  You might even go sit outside under the stars and look at that wonder.  Most of all, Let It Go. 

Above all, turn it over to God.  Tell Him everything.  He has no problem hearing about our hurts.  Furthermore, He can keep any secret you tell Him.  He can even handle it when you yell.  He already knows about it, and is waiting for you to tell Him what you feel.  Tell Him your hurts, what makes you angry, what causes you stress.

As the pounding lessens, so will the pain of trying to hold it in.  Whenever the enemy brings the pain back upon me, I always need to turn it back to God and allow Him to fill me with His peace.  And He does.  He loves me.  And He loves you.  Unconditionally.

Blessings.

Well, almost.....

I haven't taken Sheeba out for a walk for a few days and thought I would this morning.  I should have started earlier, but waited until around 6AM to walk her.  Only I like for her to pee and poop (TMI?) BEFORE I take her out.  And usually she does.  And then only SOMEtimes she will also go while on the walk.  But lately she has taken to NOT going poop first thing.  I told her that if she didn't this morning we weren't going on the walk - and she didn't - and I didn't.  Maybe tomorrow I'll start at 5:30AM.  I think part of it is that we keep her in the crate until about 7-ish most days anymore because I start work at 7AM and hubby doesn't want to mess with her.  But she does love to walk and usually goes before we do.  Guess I need to get OUT of my routine, and get INTO hers.  The walking is good for both of us - we are both overweight!

Yes, the last time she was at the vet they said at 104 pounds she was obese.  Or overweight.  Just like my doctor tells me. :-0   I started my new diet yesterday and will see how that goes.  Hubby is doing it too - and if he doesn't make me 'babysit' him through it, I will stick to it.  What I mean by babysit, he will ask whenever he gets hungry, 'can I have this' 'how much can I have' - and I don't always know the answer so have to stop what I'm doing and go get the same book out that he could pick up and find his answer - and give him the answer.  Now when I cook - I always will cook for both of us so that's not the problem.  But then, this morning I fixed myself bacon and eggs and although he has used this microwave dish a few times before, and to cook eggs in, he asked me how long should he put in the microwave to cook eggs.  

I set the smoke alarm off last night - good to know that it works!  I had put a steak in the broiler - and for whatever reason, it also filled with smoke - and when I opened the door of the oven - oh my!  Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep!  Of course the smoke detector is less than 4 feet away - it's above the refrigerator and the refrigerator is across from the oven.  Sorta.  The pantry is next to the oven and the refrigerator is basically across from it.  I know you just needed to know that.

I have a dentist appointment that I am not really looking forward to this morning.  It is in our 'old' neighborhood so I will need to drive a little ways - and that's ok.  I'll be alone and out of the house.  I've already left notes for my bosses I will be away for a little while.  And here I sit in shorts and t-shirt, and haven't even brushed my teeth yet - and it's 7:30AM!  My appointment is at 9AM but think I will leave around 8:15AM just to have some space.   If I don't forget, I'll throw my crochet into the car and have something to work on while I wait.  Which shouldn't be long - it's for a cleaning.  But will also be talking to the dentist about pulling off this old small crown and inserting a new larger crown.  $$  Because this old crown is probably over 20 years old, and my teeth have shifted somewhat, I have a gap between teeth and food is ALWAYS getting caught in there.  If you recall before I went on our Jailbreak Getaway, I had an upper gum infection which is a result of food getting caught and then going under the gumline.  Oh well - too much information and none that you were really interested in.

I've been reading a really good book in the mornings - a couple of them, in fact.  One is a devotional by Charles Swindoll - The Finishing Touch   (hmmm, my underscore or bold doesn't work this morning) and the other is a book about the Holy Spirit - He is Someone - Not Something.  Really interesting.  I get something out of it every day.

Well, I'm starting to get emails for information so guess I better get off and get to work.  Hope you have a great day!  Do something for someone else - it will benefit you as well.

Blessings!

  

Mixed Emotions

It was a fairly quiet weekend, for the most part.  Those are always nice.  Hubby went to breakfast with son and although the son planned to have 'the talk with the parent' about car keys, not a word was said when he returned home.  He enjoyed the breakfast.  And I'm happy he did.   I understand that the talk was made and the seed planted and that was all I wanted at this point.  I need to offer to drive more often and I'm sure he will let me.  At least most of the time.  I appreciate the son making the effort to get hubby to see his driving isn't the best anymore.

Hubby is out for breakfast this morning with a friend.  Then they will be coming back here for the friend to download Microsoft Teams on hubby's computer.  I could do it, but .....  I would rather someone did it who knows what they are doing.

It would be fun if my children would all download Microsoft Teams so that we could all chat and see each other.  But that would be too much to ask, I think.

I miss my kids.  I miss family gatherings.  I miss my grandchildren.   No one can understand how much it hurts when there are relationship issues and it isn't just about them.  I understand clashes with relations - I have that with my siblings.  But I try to get along with everyone, in spite of whether they are speaking to each other or not.  It's their choice, and their responsibility of acceptance that they will be held accountable for.  

I have missed so much with my grandchildren because of sibling disagreements.  And I would guess that I would be in that too.  I've missed the closeness I have always longed for.  It does my heart good now when they (the boys especially) will send me a text or sitting next to me will say "I love you so much, grandma".  My hands are tied on what I can do with them, with working it is hard to plan things, and now that school has started - even online - it is difficult.  I've got to figure something out.  They are my joy and I miss them so much.  At least Christmas I get them all for baking cookies, something that I always look forward to.  My granddaughter in another city has already said she and her daughter will come bake cookies with grandma this year.  I need to find a day I can take off work and make plans.  I just don't have that many vacation days.

Ok, I seem to be getting melancholy this morning.  And I need to get to work.  So I'm off here. :-)

Have a great day.

Can I just go somewhere.... ALONE?

Now some people being around their spouse 24/7 don't have a problem with it.  My daughter works with her hubby 24/7 and is with him 24/7 - and they have survived.  I think I would rather commit suicide.  Or murder.  

Yes, vacation has been over two days and my nerves are definitely on edge.  Already.  Oh, yeah, you remember my edgy nerves from vacation.  I did have a few days of peace....even though we were together 24/7.  I didn't dare suggest going on a walk alone - afterall, someone might kidnap me.  So we were together constantly.  And survived.

This is our third day back home.  And even with working, interruptions have once again become the norm.  This afternoon I will close the door again and that will help.  Questions I got interrupted for this morning:

* what colors can be washed with red clothes?

* when we got that bottle of laundry detergent, did you get only one?

* I'm going to go the store to get more laundry detergent cause I have 3 more loads.

* What is that noise (a firetruck driving by.  he was in his bathroom and heard it)

* Why is Sheeba barking?  What is she barking at?

* Can I look at your jailbreak photo album?

* I like your bangs in this picture (SHOCKER)

* Do you think I need to dust the house since Julietta will be coming to clean?  (she won't be coming for another week, so yes, you can do that)

* I dusted and it only took one duster - at our other house it took two.

and I'm sure there are more that I ignored, like him coming into the room to get into the closet and commenting on what I'm working on.... and many more to come.

Anytime now it will be "are you ready to eat lunch"? cause I bought a salad last night that I told him we could split.  

Found a new deli last night around while I was out - stopped in after I was able to escape for a little while and get some more yarn, new albums for our Jailbreak Getaway photos and breathe a little.  I was almost giddy with excitement of being ALONE.   Anyway, knew I had better bring something home and saw this deli and went in.  Nice.  Prices aren't bad at all; about what you would pay at a restaurant.  I got a Reuben sandwich - and I am not exaggerating - the meat was nearly two inches high on it!!  I could only eat half so hubby ate the other half.  Plus we split a 'Spud with roast beef/cheese all over the top of it'..... and you won't believe this - but have you seen the BIG potatoes at Costco?  Yeah - it was one of those - at least 10 inches long!  We split that too - well, 60/40 or even 70/30.  I was so full afterwards but it was all so good.  I bought a salad before I saw the Rueben and then just 'had to have it', so saved the salad for today.  Roughly $10 each item - give or take a few nickels.   But what you get is well worth what you pay for it.  Mmmmmm.   Who wants to take me to lunch?

Ok - I'm still wishing I could work from the office - even though it has become very convenient to be here at home.  At least a couple days a week would be nice.  But, no one is to be back in the office until January.  Will see.  I don't think we are.   Hubby won't let me retire and maybe right now I shouldn't retire.  Sitting and doing just crochet and reading for 4 days is nice.... but that 4th day I was getting tired of it and wanted to see something besides yarn, books, and hubby.  :-D

Ok - lots to do so off I go.

Have a great weekend!!

Back to 'Normal' - whatever that means....

I think I'm still trying to recoup from being off work a few days.  Of course the weather isn't helping any as my sinus/head is pounding this morning and I feel exhausted.  Yesterday WAS a busy day, for sure with all the meetings I had to scheduled.  And I didn't get them done and have more today already.  My bosses are upper level management.  And they want me to find an HOUR for their meetings?  Almost impossible most days.

So grateful.  I was to attend a 4 hour meeting this morning - but it's about budget for 2021 so I asked if I had to attend and was told to only call in the last half hour.  I'm still thinking if I will do that as the last presentation runs over the end time of the meeting.  I get nothing else done while I'm in these meetings and I still have so much to get done.

I didn't take Sheeba for a walk this morning.  I'm thinking I will wait until this weekend and then take her out for long walk.  When I wait until it gets light enough to walk, I then have to hurry to get back home to start work at 7AM.  I've thought about changing my hours to start at 7:30AM, but then it messes up the rest of my day.  Actually I probably could start then and no one would notice cause they don't start until 7:30AM - and 95% of the time I work through the lunch hour and am online after my 4PM cutoff so they more than get enough of my time.  But I have enough work to fill it as well.  I'm grateful I'm not monitored on my time since I'm salaried.

We did go out to dinner last night with the daughter and son-in-law.  He worked on our house all weekend again while we were gone, doing a lot of touch-ups and installing a new HUGE refrigerator for us.  He moved the old one into the laundry room, but I'm thinking it won't work cause I can't get the door all the way open.  So - will see who needs a refrigerator and I'm thinking of getting a small apartment size one (not as small as I had before) to keep water, etc. in.  Will discuss it with them today when they stop by.

Hubby asked me if I wanted to drive last night, but I let him.  Thinking about it this morning, I wonder if he is going to let me start driving more when we go out together.  Funny thing is he constantly criticizes my driving.  How fast am I going?  I wait too long to slow down for a light (I just don't want to stop in the middle of the block when there is lots of space in front of me), I take a turn too fast, you name it, I do it wrong.  I often remind him I have been driving for a number of years and I think that I can drive.

His driving.  As I mentioned yesterday, I feel he is getting less focused.  He will watch what is going on around him versus the road ahead and I often have to remind him to keep his eyes on the road, not on the signs on the side of the road or how much gas is at that station or what the temperature shows on that sign.  Not that I'm perfect by any means.   I can easily get distracted too.  But not the way he does, for sure.  We have talked previously about his not driving .... which went over like a lead balloon.  With working I cannot drive him places and he won't let me retire.   I suppose I could just 'up and retire' on my own, but I can't live with him 24/7 and keep my sanity either.  At least with working I can interact with other people even via computer.   

I know that when the topic arrives that he needs to give up his keys, I will get the scream that "I may as well die for you are taking my independence away from me" talk.  We've had that before when I asked for the checkbook back.  I threw it at him years ago when he refused to work to help financially.  Now he won't give it back - if he does, he may as well die.  Whatever.

Ok - I have a meeting I DO need to call in for - and several meetings to schedule.  At least this is a 'short' week.  Now to find something to take for my head - it still hurts.

It's going to be a good day - at least I'll try my best to get there!

And...... I'm back! Just like that!

Or at least it seems that way.  Was I really gone Friday - Tuesday?  Seriously?  I journaled while I was away so that I would have something to write about.  Want a quick synopsis?

Day 1.  Friday.  Dropped off Sheeba with trainer.  Picked up rental car - a 2021 Camry (because I won't let him drive my car and he won't let me drive the trip).  Came home and packed up the car.  Stress level begins to increase.  Hubby's driving abilities begin to really stress me out.  Enroute to northern Arizona, he runs OVER a roundabout, rather than going around it.  We get to the location, and with the narrow one-way lane to the office and to the house we would be staying in, I thought I was going to have a stroke.  Seriously.  I even told him so.  He couldn't maneuver the vehicle. Just to get to the office and to find a place to turn around to go back the other way to the house, I had to get out of the car to get it turned around.  And he wouldn't / couldn't listen to me.  I was totally out of control trying to get him to hear me and do what I was telling him.   He backed the bumper into a stack of rocks as he tried to turn around (before I got out of the car).  A couple walks by and says 'oh we understand the difficulty, we drive a Tahoe'.  Oh that made me feel better.  Not.  I just stood there and looked at them.  After several attempts to move the car here, back up, come forward, sigh.... we finally made it up to the house.   I don't think it was a car issue and I don't know why he had to get a full-size car when we were going to be on a one-lane road!   We've stayed there before!  And he claimed there was a big glare on the car and he couldn't see past the hood.

To describe it a little better, picture a pointed star.  Cut off one of the points.  That point was our turn INTO the resort, and also if we wanted to go straight up to the house.  Picture rocks on both sides of the drive - which is one lane.  Now going up to our house is a little steep, and has a concrete road, one lane, and rocks on both sides of the concrete.  If you go off the concrete, you will hit the rocks, and fall off the road.  Literally.   And there are very few places where you can maneuver turning around.  Even in our driveway I had to direct him to move up, move back, until we could get where he could drive DOWN the driveway.  

By this time I am totally out of sorts.  We unpack then (gasp) attempt to leave to go to Flagstaff (because Sedona was a mess) to find a place to buy groceries.  We chose Walmart as we came into town.  It was a nightmare.  

My fault.  I should have gone with original plan #1 and pack food to take.  I did not.  I should have gone with original plan #2, stop on the way out of town and pick up groceries to take.  We did not.  Plan # 3 was to go to Flagstaff and get groceries.  It was dirty, very small compared to super Walmarts elsewhere.  I tried to think fast as to what to buy to get us through the days without having to leave again.  Eggs, ham, bread, several cans of soup, beef stew, bagel bites (ick - don't get those), mustard, pickles, lunchmeat, a couple meal packs, milk, orange juice.  I couldn't wait to get out of there.  Oh - we found a lumberjack shirt for hubby.  Another nightmare getting back to the resort (hubby claimed he knew the way, then realized he was wrong and Siri rescued us.)

Day 2, Day 3, Day 4.  We didn't leave the house.  On Day 4 we did do a short walk.... hubby doesn't like to walk and had every excuse for not going any further.   We ate breakfast and dinner most every day out on our deck facing the woods.  That was very nice and I did enjoy that - even though we were on vacation and I had to figure out every meal - it's was ok.  And I had bought enough food that we didn't have to go shopping again.

The house was awesome - roomy, with a porch deck nearly all around the house.  We went out a lot and just sit outside and talked.  Yes, we talked.  Yes, by day 2 I had calmed down and we were able to talk with each other.  I really thought I was going to die day 1 with the stress on the inside.  

We were going to leave Day 4 and go up to Flagstaff for the day, but hubby didn't want to leave the house.  Probably a good idea since I stressed so bad getting in there.  

Positives - I got a lot of crocheting done, did a lot of reading.  With no internet and no wifi, we had limited phone service.  We were both afraid of roaming charges so didn't use our phones that much.  I managed to finish one blanket and begin two others.

But the best part was there is a bay window in the master bedroom and it had a glider rocking chair and stool - and that is where I got to sit for my quiet time every morning.  I looked out over the woods and it was just so calm and peaceful.  

Day 5 it is time to pack up and head back down the mountain.  Both of us were a little nervous, but I walked him through how we were going to turn the car around, get down to the, get the car turned around to head out.  I hoped he understood.   After a few words, we finally were out of the resort area and heading down the road to home.

He ran through the middle of a roundabout in Sedona.  There are no words.  I told him he was on the roundabout and he goes 'I know.'.  Is there any wonder I felt my stress level heading to the upper levels.   I kept my eyes on my crochet because I couldn't watch the road any longer.  And prayed for safety.

We made it to Rock Springs for lunch and after eating, headed the rest of the way home.   We eventually made it.  Then the stress of getting the car back to the rental place and see if we were going to be hit for the scratch for the bumper.  They came out, walked totally around the car, stopping at the rear (and I'm thinking they see it) and making a note, then getting the mileage and gas and he went back in.  When hubby came back, we definitely had favor, for they didn't charge for the scratch (maybe if it was a dent they would have).  It wasn't a BAD scratch, but it always grows when you know it is there.  Going on from there we picked up Sheeba and headed back home.

We made it.  Today I'm back to work with 309 emails to respond/delete/create to.   Now that it is afternoon, I have finally gotten through checking each email, but I still need to act on several of them.  A plus is that a meeting I had this afternoon is about budget so I was told I didn't have to attend it.  Gives me two hours back.   Oh so much to do!!

Maybe tomorrow I will have more interesting things to tell - or not.  It's amazing how things can be 'nice' while you aren't at home, but when you are back home, things seem to revert back to 'the way we were'.  Oh well.  It was nice while it lasted.

Welcome home!

           

Will you miss me?

Vacation is FINALLY here!! At least it is when I get this last invoice processed.  Yes, it's after 4PM, and yes, I should already be off, but at 3:55PM an invoice came through that I needed to get processed.  Whew.  Got it done.

Then I got another email from one of the people I support and she asked me about sending out governance letters.... no, I had not sent to that group.  I never got clarification on it, and if she wanted me to, I would continue to work and get them out tonight - OR - I could wait until I could pay attention to what I was doing and send them out when I get back.  YES!!  She said I could wait.

Another person I support wanted me to create a survey for him in Survey Monkey.  That's not a bad thing - but he wanted it done HIS way, and I hadn't done that before so we had to share screens so that he could show me what he wanted.  More time taken.

I created organizational charts for another boss all afternoon - but YAY!!  I got everything done she wanted.  She knew today was going to be busy so she sent me a note this morning to have a good time off.

Which I am telling you now, When I get through with this one, you won't hear from me again until possibly Wednesday - we will be at a location without internet service, without wifi service - which means also no telephone service.  But we will be going into town - probably on a daily basis or every other day - and will have service then, so please feel free to send messages. :-)

Today has been chaotic and extremely busy - but that's ok.  I even had a two hour meeting that I had to take minutes at - got the minutes done and sent to those who coordinated the meeting to review and let me know to send out.  YAY for that.  I'm only two sets of minutes behind now.

We got a new used refrigerator yesterday - and I'm going to love it.  It is huge and I will be able to put trays of food in there and I'm so excited.  I want to buy lots of fruits and vegetables and put on platters (oh no, didn't I just get rid of a lot of platters??) so that they will be easier to grab to eat.  Usually I put in baggies by item - and we eat some and after awhile, throw the rest away.  Hopefully this will prevent that.

I'm off here.  I need to pack, need to get my head on straight, need to fix dinner.  Heading out tomorrow morning after we drop off Sheeba with our former dog trainer.  He is going to watch her for a few days.  She is getting to be a handful.  Hubby can barely hold on to her now - she caused him to fall - again - yesterday.  She frequently causes him to fall into the door frame when he brings her back in from outside and his arms are cut up pretty good.  Takes gashes out of his arms.  

She's strong for me too - I walk her - and if she wants to take off, I had better have a tight grip cause she will take me with her.  Seriously.  I'm not sure what to do at this point.  If I cannot control her or have the strength to hold her back, I just don't know what to do.  She is very strong.

Gotta go - miss me a little.

So.Much.Work!!

It was 4PM when I signed off the computer last night - and when I signed on this morning I had 41 emails.  Granted they weren't all for me, but I had to look at each one because I get notices from 5 bosses and my own.  My one boss gave me a half a dozen - ok, if I count  them - 8 items - for me to work on.  And that's not counting a couple emails from two other bosses!  I'm tired already and it's barely past 9AM.  

I've already scheduled several meetings this morning, contacted outside people to schedule with them, and have so much more yet to get done.  The reality is that I only have today and tomorrow to get things completed since I am going to be out of commission for five days.   (will you be able to survive without blah blah to read about?)

It is so humid out in the mornings now.  I don't sweat.  I glisten.  Seriously.  But this morning I took Sheeba out for a walk at 6AM and we only walked a little more than 1 1/2 miles.  Came back to sit down on the patio for a few minutes to 'cool off' before going into the house and ready to work.  Sweat began to just run off my body!  My shirt was soaked.  I guess I wasn't moving and it decided to just come out.  Couldn't believe how 'wet' my body was from the sweat.  Hubby said humidity was at 40%.  But the house stays cool enough that I have to go sit on the patio occasionally just to warm up!  Or sit in the 'office' with my blanket over my legs.

Our "new" refrigerator is to be delivered today.  I think.  It's actually a used refrigerator that has been cleaned up.  Once we hear they are enroute, we will move the current refrigerator (I hope hubby and I can move it) to a location in the laundry room and they can put the new one in place in the kitchen.  It has a center drawer for water bottles, v-8 cans, etc.  Keep them from getting 'lost' in the refrigerator and free up space.  Condiments we don't use often I can move to the other refrigerator and we can put more water, V-8 and other bottles in there.   I've missed our little refrigerator from our other house although it couldn't store much.  Having a bigger one will be nice.

I haven't done any unpacking in a week - and won't be able to until another week or so when we get back.  I really need to get out there and get more boxes emptied so that we can get more of our things out of storage.  I know we still have about 20 boxes or so there.  Where am I going to put all that?  What am I going to do with all that?  

With working, it's hard to get to it during the day.  Come nighttime, I'm either busy or just don't want to go out to a stuffy garage to work.  Or I totally forget it's out there for me to work on!  I need to get my nephew over here as I have a few more things for him if he wants them.   I hope he can find a place he can afford soon.  He wants to start over his life but it's hard when you don't even have a place to call 'home'.  It can really make a difference in a person's mental state.  He needs to have freedom to move about and not have to stay in his room so that he doesn't bother those who are working from home.

My youngest son and his oldest son are in a meeting today regarding custody of our great-granddaughter.  I feel so bad for my grandson.  I know he is a good dad and he truly loves his daughter.  I'm praying he will be awarded custody of the child.  That is on my heart and mind this morning.  The meeting is two hours long so I won't know anything until this evening.  Of course they probably won't know anything today, but I hope they do.  Divorce papers have been served; now it's about custody.  

Well, I've rambled on enough.... I check facebook for updates from my children and in-laws on what is going on in their families.  I write mine out here. :-)  Saves you the trouble of looking for updates on facebook and I don't like to post that much on facebook.  In fact, I'm weaning myself away from it pretty much.  My phone is my phone convenience.  I don't need social media.  What do you read facebook for?  Hmmmmmm

Did you know.....

that Dill Pickles are VERY good for you?  Especially if you sweat a lot?   When I got my massage  couple weeks ago and my back was very "tight", the masseuse asked if I drank  lot of water.  I said I try to drink 64-120 ounces of water a day, not always successful, but I try.  He asked me if I ate dill pickles.  I said yes, but not often.  He suggested I eat a dill pickle every day.  I thought that was odd, and did eat a big dill pickle a couple times since my last visit.

I thought my back had loosened up quite a bit as I was no longer in intense pain in my back and neck, but when I went for my massage last night - 90 minutes no less - he immediately told me it was still pretty bad.  In fact, as he hit the pressure points, I could feel the muscle twitching!  The left side seems to be 'locked up' he said.  The right side he could get the muscles to release.  That was interesting.  So he quizzed me if there were any traumatic things going on or what.  I couldn't think of any specifically.  He also asked if I was eating dill pickles.  I still found that amusing, but found out that it is good for electrolytes.  If one drinks a lot of water, they need to replenish the electrolytes they are flushing out.  Huh.

So this morning I was thinking about it and jumped online to google dill pickles.  And he is right - they are good for replacing electrolytes.  In fact, it said if you sweat a lot, if you will eat dill pickles, it will help replace it much faster.  Very interesting!  So I just fixed myself a 1/2 sandwich for lunch - Ezekiel bread, sliced tomatoes, ham lunchmeat, lots of pickles, miracle whip.  That's all I wanted, and the flavors blended well together and it was good.  Hubby added onions to his.  I like onions, but didn't want any.

With the water that I drink daily, perhaps I do need to eat more dill pickles.  It said it also relieves leg cramps.  Of course I drink tonic water for the leg cramps.  But if the dill pickles prevent it too - I'm good!  Usually if I wake up with leg cramps I will pour salt into my hand and lick it - then go back to bed and go back to sleep.  So if dill pickles has sodium too (which it does and too many pickles will overload you in sodium), I don't have to drink the tonic water.  Although it is a weird taste, it is refreshing at night before we go to bed.

My back really felt good after the deep massage last night.  He spent the entire 90 minutes working on my back.  I'll schedule another 60 minutes in about a month.  I figure with doing the new workout program and doing a lot of stretching (he suggested morning and evening to stretch; I was only doing it in the morning) I should be about good as new pretty soon.  I was really surprised when he said my neck and back were still real tight - I hadn't been in pain.  But today I can feel where he 'pressed in' on the pressure points.  It's tender, but not painful.  It would be nice to be free from back and neck pain - and if it takes massages to do it - well, I'll take the punishment. :-)

I got my package from my little sister yesterday - and she dared to put 3 hostess cupcakes in there.  Yes, they are GONE, but still!  They weren't that big - maybe 1/2" x 1" x 3" in size.  Individually wrapped.  I ate one last night and the sugar about did me in.  The one I ate today wasn't as bad. :-) I had to get rid of them - why allow myself to constantly be tempted?

Tonight is 'girls night out' and around 5-ish I'll grab my yarn and head to my daughters.  It's a nice evening of just girls chatting and getting some knitting one.  Currently I'm still working on baby blankets to donate (have 5 completed, I think) and want to learn a new stitch and do something a different way.  Guess I need to watch you-tube.  Still want to teach my sister how - I've sent her knitting needles and yarn, and crochet hooks and yarn.  I tell her I will facetime with her to get her started.  That was over a month ago.  Maybe next week.  After vacation.

Vacation.  I'm so ready.

A new day .... and it's MONDAY....

As I've already shared yesterday evening - I had a great day yesterday.  We didn't watch a movie; by the time hubby was done doing whatever he was doing, he wanted to watch the news.  Which I don't recall seeing any, but ended up watching AFV (America's Funniest Videos) and an hour of Steve Harvey's Family Feud and then he watched NCIS - New Orleans.  I feel like my parents.  Sigh.  I try to fight it, but he enjoys the shows - and after all, he IS 83.....  

I did get up and walk Sheeba after a short quiet time this morning.  We got a little over two miles in.  Hubby walked too, but walked alone and went wherever he wanted to go.  I walk fast because I want to get a good walk in, and I have to go fast so that I can keep up with Sheeba.  Hubby doesn't like to walk fast and always complained when he tried to walk with us - so I told him to walk alone.  It works well for both of us.    He was sitting on the porch drinking his coffee when I got back with Sheeba.  I think he said he went a little over a mile.  And that's ok.  A mile is better than nothing.

I think we plan to hit the big exercise program again tonight.  Hubby has his weights (thanks to the son-in-law) and I actually found my 3 and 5 pound weights - and the 10 pounds that son-in-law had already given us.  I'm keeping all three of those for me.  I used some of them this morning just to loosen up before taking Sheeba for her walk.  Every little bit helps, yes?

I'm still working on those chocolate covered strawberries to get rid of.  I think I have about 6 left.  If I don't forget, will take over to my daughter's tomorrow night - I'm sure between me, her, and my granddaughter, we will finish them off.  It was a nice birthday present.

Hubby gave me a gift card for Amazon.  That's about the only place I shop now.  I do have my eye on a head set my brother told me about.  I haven't decided yet, but I may put it towards that - or .... I dunno.  There is definitely nothing I  NEED, unless it is nice blouses.  But for right now, I don't go anywhere so why buy them.  Besides, I want to lose weight.  Or maybe I should say I will lose weight.

Three more days - yay!  Can't wait until I can leave the computer off for 5 days!  I have a lot to do between now and then, but that's ok.  I'll have a lot to do when I get back too.  Quite a bit more to do!  Some days I want to retire, and yet, what would I do?  I couldn't do my yarn runs as often as I can now.  No matter where we go, if there's a Hobby Lobby, we gotta go there.  I really like their yarn and don't mind stocking up on a few skeins.  I  will use them eventually.

Loved all the texts and phone calls I got yesterday for my birthday.  Missed a couple I usually get, but I'm sure they were busy.  I know how easy it is to get distracted.  Especially now.  I'll get a package today from my little sister; she mailed it Friday and it should be here today.  Her birthday is next Sunday, and I already shipped her gift since we will be leaving on Friday and I want to be sure she will get it.  She always finds unique things so I'm anxious to see what she sent.  I told her no knick knacks!  LOL  Lord help me, I still have so many to get rid of!

Gotta get to work - have a good day.

It's been a very good day.

Today is my 71st birthday.  40 years ago this was considered 'old' - and maybe it still is to some of the younger people, but I really don't feel old.  Maybe because it is 'me'?  I know I get tired more easily.  In fact, my daughter and son-in-law, granddaughter and fiance, hubby and I just got back a bit ago from a Mexican Restaurant for lunch.... and when I got home, talked to my little brother and sister - then I needed a nap!

I woke up at my usual 4-4:30AM so got up to go do my quiet time.  Then hubby and I decided to just have cereal for breakfast cause we knew we were going out to a heavy lunch.  So ate cereal then watched Jentezen Franklin preach and then our church with Pastor Paul.   Jentezen was 'on-fire' today, talking about the end times and how Christians need to get out and vote in the upcoming election as the world as we know it may change if certain people are elected - without mentioning any names or political parties.

So other than watching them, going to lunch and eating way too much, talking on the phone or texting - a lot today - and taking a 1/2 hour nap - that's all I have gotten done today.  I didn't even try to unpack boxes yesterday nor today - although I should.  They won't get done if I don't.   Will see if I can get out there some time this week for maybe an hour a night.  It's just so stinking hot in the garage and I leave with a headache.  But I still need to go through boxes.

Upward Foundation came Friday and picked up several boxes that I had packed up for them.  I even took a deep breath and put some of the glass items that were on the table that no one has taken in a box for them to take.  I still have a lot on the table, but I'll work through it.  Hopefully by the end of the month I will have a clean table. 

I've gotten so many texts and facebook postings and it is really cool.  People I haven't talked to in years are sending greetings or friend requests.  It's nice to make contact again.  I'm still trying to figure out why this one person is always posting photos of food - and it looks all healthy and yummy.  I called my little sister and asked her if she knew - she hadn't noticed.  Wow - I didn't see a post where she just posted words - it always has a meal.  I wondered if she was a chef or a health nut or what.  Sure looks yummy.

Then I got up and had a chocolate covered strawberry that my boss had sent me for my birthday.  And it was good.    After my nap, that is.  or was.

I sure hope hubby isn't expecting me to cook dinner tonight.  I want something, but it sure isn't food.  I really didn't eat that much at lunch.  Hubby and I split a meal and I didn't eat all mine.  But I just 'want' something.  Hmmm.  Popcorn doesn't even sound good so guess I really do not want anything - but then, it's only 5;30PM and that can change.

Watched Overcomer again last night - what a great, encouraging, enlightening movie.  I wish all my children/grandchildren would watch it.  It really touches my heart - and encourages me.  Inspires me too.  Can't we all use a little inspiration?

May watch another movie tonight - but a chick flick.  Hubby can watch the fighting movies or intense movies while I'm working.  YAY - this is a four day week as we go on vacation on Friday - and no wifi where we will be at.  I'll take a jetpak but there is no guarantee it will work.  Some of my kids who want to get away and just read or take walks or just chill - this is where to go - no wifi, most things are still shut down - everything is furnished in the house and it's at least 20 degrees cooler than here.  Yeah, I'm looking forward to 5 days out of touch.  Just getting fresh information to share when I return, right?

Going to look for a movie - and keep celebrating me.  My workouts and healthy eating starts up tomorrow - got to get it together! 

So glad God has allowed me to live this long so that I can enjoy my children and grandchildren more.  And great-grandchildren when I can.  So looking forward to COVID restrictions lifting so that I can see them.  I'm tired of staying home - but then I wonder why.  I always stayed home.  Well, Iwent shopping, and I can still do that at some stores, but I just don't want to go.  Maybe that's the difference.

Have a good evening. 

Friday, Friday, what's up today?

Good morning, Sunshine!

It's a beautiful day to be alive!  The coolness of the morning at 6AM when I took Sheeba out for a quick walk was awesome.  Walking at a fast clip and making lots of progress in 15 minutes ..... when I realized I forgot a 'poop bag'.  Sheeba is notorious for pooping on the sidewalk during our walks.  YES, even when we take her out first thing in the morning - and she poops then too!!   Once I realized I didn't have a bag with me, we did an about face and hurried back home.  We made it, but it would have been just like her to get in front of a house nearby and 'let it go'.   

Upward Foundation is coming today to pick up a bunch of things we are getting rid of.  I quickly went through the table and some things no one shows any interest in I put in the box and marked it 'glass' so that they would be careful with it.  I hope.  Otherwise they will have a mess to clean up.

Yeah, it is still hard to let go of some things, but I have to.  I'm still waiting for the boxes with my white china and the rest of the Christmas dishes to be brought over - then I will see just what I can keep.  Those things I just can't let go of will put in a cabinet until I figure out what to do with it.  I'm grateful the kids took some things they wanted, but still have a lot to let go of.  I don't use it, so I need to let go of it.

I must say this morning is a bit different.  Hubby was sitting at the kitchen table when I came back from walking Sheeba, and was there when I came back here to get on the computer.  I haven't heard or seen him OR Sheeba in over an hour.  I don't want to go out of the room in case I find them - or they find me!  Hubby had said he was going out front to sit on the patio to do his quiet time, but he hasn't gotten there yet.  Sheeba will hear me if I come out so am staying put.  I know I didn't wear her out in the short walk.

Middle child and part of his family came over for dinner last night and I think all had a good time.  Got to show our daughter-in-love our new house - and she said she liked it.  Always glad when people like our house - cause we do!  Shared how my daughter and son-in-law are always checking up on us to make sure we are ok and if there is anything we need.  Food turned out good, I think, last night.  Sent the leftovers home with them - but forgot to send the ice cream.  Oh darn.  Oh well.  I did send some frozen pretzels and a couple other things.  

I get on this craving for things - i.e., waffles, pancakes, pretzels, ice cream, etc. - things that aren't good for me, then after eating a few, I'm done.  I should just limit myself to when we go out to eat, get my waffle, or get my pancake, and then I'm done.  Running to Dairy Queen for a blizzard would take care of the ice cream craving, I'm sure.  Running was just a word I used.  I would drive. :-)  I'd probably save money on groceries if I'd quit buying that stuff.

It was nice to sit outside on the front patio this morning in my rocking chair and watch the hummingbirds drink from the container I have hanging up.  Would like to get another one or two for I saw about 5-6 hummingbirds this morning flying around.  They are so quick!  I was surprised how low they will come down.  But as I sat there, in the coolness of the morning and the quietness of the day, I was able to thank God for His goodness to us.  He has provided so much for us, and is taking care of us.  That is always a good thing.

Hubby will probably outlive me - he went to the doctor yesterday and got a totally clean bill of health.   I got to start slowing down and taking better care of myself, for I don't think mine will be that good.  And I'm younger!  I mean, I think I'm healthy, but know with work and home issues, my stress level has been up quite a bit.  I did LifeLine Screening a few weeks ago - said I need to have some things checked out.... and I will... but how do you get a physical if you can't go in to the doctor's office?  I need one next month and it will be 'virtual'.  I did get the papers to get my blood work completed so we could discuss them when I call in.  Got to do that, but want to eat right for a few days at least before I go - hopefully the numbers won't be too bad.   I would probably need a week's vacation on the beach for my blood pressure to get down to where it should be.  And I refuse to take medication.  I do.  I absolutely refuse.  I don't want to take it.  Remove my stress and I'll be just fine.  If I could quit work, I'd be, well, almost fine. :-)

Gotta get back to work - and this is getting lengthy - have a great day!

Wow - this is interesting.....

Blogger has changed their look.  Not sure if I like it or not - will have to try it out - or I can revert back to the old.  I don't like change too much so will see.

Hubby has headed off to the doctor's office and Sheeba is in her crate.  Or, as our trainer called it, "dog cave".  She goes in there pretty frequently all by herself and sleeps.  She feels safe in there.  But, sometimes we have to shut the door and keep her in there.  With hubby gone, now is one of those times cause I need to work - after I finish this, anyway.

Middle child and his family are coming over for dinner tonight.  I asked hubby "permission" prior to sending a text.   Tomorrow is one of the grandson's birthday, and taking out to dinner is hard right now.  I'm not sure that I want to take the chance on one of my grandchildren being exposed to COVID just to have time with them.  Hubby was irritated at me last night because 'I thought we changed the celebrations to us taking the grandchild out for dinner so that we can talk with them and find out what is going on in their lives'.  Nice thought - and yes, that was the original idea.  But right now, COVID has put a damper on that.

Yes, I went out to dinner last night, and hubby goes out to eat frequently.  However, when it comes to a grandchild, I am much more cautious.  

So I'm excited they are coming over tonight and have meat sitting in water thawing out.  Not sure what else I'll fix, and I don't think it really matters - there will always be enough food.   Hubby is concerned about which table as my big table is laden down with glassware - which I said I could move to the smaller table.  But I may just add the leaf in the other table as there will only be six of us and go ahead and use it.  I'll have to do it while he's gone.  

Took Sheeba out for a nice walk this morning - it was cool out and was really nice.  We didn't go too far, a little over a mile maybe.  Hubby fussed he couldn't keep up cause I was walking so fast - but I have to walk fast to keep up with Sheeba and make it worthwhile for a big dog to be taken for a walk.  I told him to just go at his own pace - so he ended up about a 1/2 block behind us.  Which is fine - I'm walking Sheeba and she needs the exercise - and walking fast helps me too.

I got my climbing bear from my friend last night - my nephew in Tennessee sent it to me - and I love it.  I moved a wreath that was left on my 'porch' and was able to use that nail for it.  It is so cool.  Need to send him a thank you note.

Ok - I think I've decided I do not like this new format.  I'm going to try to find a way to kick it back to the old way.  I don't like I have to scroll up to type as it won't move.  I don't like some other features of this.  Wonder what my son thinks about it - if he writes something today.

Need to get busy for work - have a meeting Monday and I haven't done the minutes yet.  UGH.  I'm scheduling meetings AFTER HOURS for two governance committees..... and they are asking each other who is going to take the minutes for these meetings.  I'm trying to disappear from their minds. I don't like doing minutes to start with - and to do them for doctors I don't even know - naw, don't want to .  However, with that being said, if I'm told to, I reckon I don't have much choice.  Crossing fingers they will make a decision to do it themselves.

There - I reverted back to the old way.  Hopefully they will let me keep it, but from the way it sounds, they won't.  August 24th, I think it is, they will move them all to the new way.  I may quit blogging if it annoys me too much.

Have a great day!

It's one of those days....

I'm having a tough time today wanting to do anything work related.  Can't do anything home related because I need to be working.

AWWWW - I just got a birthday card from my boss!   Wish I knew how to link a photo to this page (will have to ask my son I guess!) but the front of the card says MAKE TODAY AWESOME and it looks like one of those signs on a marque.  So cute.  I'm going to put it on my bulletin board.  How fun is that!   I guess I can start celebrating.... when I'm at the office I celebrate all month, but this is much harder to celebrate at home.

Chatted via email with my boss for a moment - we are already making plans to meet up next month - and just catch up.  THEN we will plan our Christmas get-together.  Hopefully SOME-thing will be open by then - if not, we'll wear our masks and go shopping.  Last year she took me to a place called the Christmas Idea House.  It was so fun and you walk through it and purchase items made throughout the year.  I bought several things there last year.  

I'm meeting up with an old friend tonight - old as in I met her when I was pregnant with my oldest child.  My soldier hubby was in VietNam and her hubby was in another unit - can't think what it was.  He was stationed in Korea, I think.  It's been way too long to remember that stuff.   With our current move, we are only 4.6 miles away from her.  She just did a long road trip with her current hubby (of 20+ years) and was able to go through Tennessee and see my nephew.  AND, my nephew sent with her a bear carving he made - so hopefully I will get it tonight!   It will be just us for dinner - not sure why, cause when I suggested it I meant all four of us, but she wants it to be just us - and that's fine with me.

Hubby wasn't too thrilled with that (he loves to eat) but I reminded him that 1) he goes out to eat by himself when I'm busy with something else and 2) he meets his friends periodically for breakfast-lunch-or dinner and I sit at home.  I don't care.  He does though.  Could be he thinks he might miss something?

I finally got my butt moving early this morning and took Sheeba out for a short walk.  Hubby says that tomorrow morning he will get up early and will walk with us.  Wonder if I need to put a leash on him as well.  Not a question, just a statement.  

Speaking of leashes - we had a retractable one we used for Sheeba when we took her to the back yard.  She is so strong.  I had her out last week and had it locked at about 10 ft so she could wander around.  She loves bugs - and she jumped up to catch one - and broke the lock on the leash.  So hubby went and bought a new one.  Last night he had her out - now mind you, he isn't - how do I say this - real thoughtful about keeping Sheeba close.  By that I mean the retractable leash is 16 FT long.  I let her out about 10 so that if she pulls, it will extend out if the lock is broken.  Well, I guess she saw another dog being walked while out in the back yard - and hubby had let her extend it entirely the 16 FT and she decided to jump and run to the dog and the man walking her - it nearly pulled hubby's shoulder out of its socket - and it popped the lever on the leash so now there is no stopping her.   

While on the walk today I made sure I had the controller in my hand so she behaved.  I think it was just getting her out walking again - it's been a month and she may have forgotten a few things, but quickly got back into 'heel' position.   I ordered two 5 ft leashes so that we'd have for walking her, and a 10 ft leash to use in the back yard.  No more retractable leashes.  I want to keep control so she can move out, but she only needs to go out 10 feet.

It was so cool last night that one of my grandsons sent me a text and told me he loved me.  Warmed my heart.  This "little one" will be turning 18 on Friday.  Where have the years gone.  Wish I could have spent more time with him growing up, but things being what they are, it is what it is.  Can't live with regrets.  Hopefully with working from home and not spending hours on the road I can somehow connect once in awhile.

I've done 112.92 miles towards my 500 miles by the end of the year.  I guess that means I'm 1/5 of the way?  June 22 - August 2 = 112.92 miles.  Hmmm thinking out the time frame and I see that I need to kick it into gear a bit or I won't make the 500 miles (oh yes I will!!).  Just need to walk Sheeba more and get those miles in.

Guess I need to get off break and get back to work - only a few hours more to go.

Stay safe!

A new program....

Yeah.... trying something new.  Exercise. Yes, I know that I've 'tried' it numerous times in the past.  And it really isn't 'new' for me.... I found someone who is intense, for sure!  Hubby had complained recently about the gym still being closed - so to shut him up about not being able to exercise, I offered the alternative of using the person I planned to use.  For us to do them "together" - which is what he loves - us doing things 'together'.  Sigh.


After about of week of distractions and excuses, we finally decided to start on the exercises last night.  I asked hubby if he wanted to start before dinner, but he opted for after.  So, waiting an hour after dinner, we got the program up on the computer, and the equipment in front of us.


I am without words.  The exercises are intense.  They are put together by a woman who creates these for women - and she doesn't have an ounce of fat on her - she is all muscle. I don't mean bulk muscle, but firm.  Very firm and solid muscle.  Without even flexing you know she is.  She specifies these exercises are for women.  But, I had seen in some of the videos by other women that sometimes their spouses want to do them too so I thought why not?


I know I am out of shape.  I am the first to admit that.  That's all I'm going to say about that.  This isn't a bashing session.  I'm trying to get  better about that.  Let's just say that hubby had a great deal of difficulty doing even 3 of the exercises and couldn't figure out exactly what to do, even with the video.


I was distracted by trying to get him to use the right color of bands, doing it the right way, and doing the number of sets noted, and just getting through the exercise myself.  I was disappointed in myself that I didn't complete all the sets required because I was frustrated.  I couldn't focus on me.  Hopefully, if he continues, this will change.


The exercises we started with included a lot of squats with bands, doing side steps with bands, and other squats with bands.  That's just getting started.  Eventually we will be using handweights - of which we don't have.  I don't know if hubby gave our son-in-law back the 10 lbs he had loaned us - but I can't even find my 5 pounds.  Hopefully they are in a box somewhere.  We needed them last night but had nothing to use.  Still looking to find some weights to use.  I would like 5 lbs, 10 lbs, and maybe 15 lbs.  I know I am not interested in lifting any more than that.  At least not at this time.


Here in my room this morning, before I came out or started working, I managed to get down on the floor and do a few exercises in my little area.  I'm using two soup cans for weights - hey - it's better than nothing!!  I'll get it pulled together eventually.  My frustration comes from having to take care of hubby too, and listening...….


I must be in better shape than I thought - this morning my legs are barely sore, but hubby seems to be having trouble moving around.  Or so he is acting.  Maybe with the distractions I didn't get to put enough effort in it.  I wanted to, for sure.  Why put any effort into exercise unless you plan for it to be effective?  If he is really sore - good - that means perhaps he put a lot of effort into it.


This program is for six days a week - about an hour a day.  I really want to get my body into shape - I'm always embarrassed about my belly sticking out over my pants.  So, I will continue to do what I can do.   I just hope I don't get discouraged by the distractions.


I can never erase the comment hubby spoke to me shortly after we moved out here.  I maybe weighed 130 lbs then.  We were at Paradise Valley mall, walking around, and we went to the food court cause I needed to use the restroom.  When I walked back to where he was waiting, his first - and only - comment back to me was "your hips are as wide as your shoulders".   I think I have been self-conscious about my weight and size ever since.  I've gone up and down over the years, but have never been consistent in keeping it off.  Hopefully, this time I will.


Blessings!

Shaking my head....more stuff!

I had to make a trip down to my office this morning.  I was a little anxious because I did not know how much time it would take, or even what route Siri would take me.  As I mentioned before, I think I figured out we were now 56 miles from my office.


Siri was very kind to me.  The route she took me on - which isn't the one I thought it would be - took me 45 minutes to get TO the office, leaving the house at 6AM.   I met the person who was to turn in her computer equipment and finished packing up my personal things to bring home.  It was 9:55AM when I finally got started on my return trip.  Again, Siri took me the route in reverse and I wouldn't have thought to go that way.  Again, even at mid-day, it only took me 45 minutes to get home.  But, I'm exhausted from the packing and the drive.  Guess I have just gotten used to staying home and not traveling anywhere.


Bringing stuff home from work is a riot.  Of course all the snacks I have purchased for meetings - have expired.  Or are getting ready to expire.  So I put some in the lunchroom.  I put some on the top of a cabinet in my area.  And I put some in a bag for me to bring home. :-)  Fill up my snack dish.  AND I have two boxes of 'STUFF'.  I'm not even sure what all I brought home.  I cleaned out 3 drawers of my desk, an overhead compartment, 4 large drawers and a compartment in another filing cabinet.  Not bad that I only ended up with two boxes of things to bring home.  Mostly it is things I need for the office, as in supplies.  A ream of printer paper, a box of pens, a tablet or two of paper.  Then a bunch of personal things that I have no idea what to do with - guess they will go in the Upward Foundation box.  Thank goodness they are coming Friday to pick up!  I brought the snacks in, but left everything else out in the back of my car.  Just don't want to deal with it right now.  But I will need to get it out of the car later.  Just not right now.


Wow, I must be more tired than I thought.  I just laid my head down and figured a ten minute break - and I fell into a deep sleep immediately and slept for nearly 25 minutes!  Now to get the foggy head cleared so that I can get back to work!  I must have needed the rest for sure!   And I am entitled to breaks and lunch hour and really haven't taken those today so am glad I snoozed.


We were invited to my daughter's for dinner last night and she asked if I would bring dessert. No problem.  I wanted to make the hot fudge pudding cake, but found a recipe very similar calling it Brownie pudding cake or something like that.  So I made it from scratch.  It must have been pretty good cause my daughter asked that I leave the leftovers at their house - which I had no problem in doing.  I had a piece of it and it was pretty good.  Right from the oven it would. have been better, but it was still good warm.  I love to cook and try new recipes so it was fun for me.


I guess I have rambled on enough for now.  Hope you all are having a good day!


Blessings!

A new idea; perhaps a better plan...

As I sat and did my quiet time this morning I looked over at the bookcase at the stack of old journals that I have found.   I reached over and took one, and since they are in no particular order, I wasn't sure what year I would even get.

It was a time period in 2004.

I started reading and I read of times I cried out to God to help me to be the woman He created me to be.  To get beyond my own feelings and inadequacies, but to fall in love with not only my husband, but also re-fall in love with Jesus to the point that nothing else matters but that I am obedient to Him and Him alone.

I have failed.

It's so easy for the devil to work his way in that it is in the subtle things we do and say that before we know it, what we are doing is "normal" and we don't realize we have changed. 

I have changed.

I've lost the passion I once had for God.  I want it back.  I know He hasn't forgotten me, and He still has heard every cry and seen every tear and has forgiven me.  I know that beyond a doubt.  He knows when I hurt so badly over things that He will wrap me in His loving arms and give me what I need for that moment in time.

I don't want to be whom I am now.  I am void of life; empty; and feel devalued by some and pushed aside by others.  That's ok, if that's in God's plan.  But if it is the devil's plan to bring me down, it isn't going to succeed.

Cause what I am going to do is push harder into God.  I'm going to seek Him more.  I'm going to hold my tongue and wait before speaking. I'm going to wait on Him.

What about you?  Were you at one time wrapped up in Jesus so tightly that nothing mattered but Him?  Did life get in the way and you found your anger, frustrations and just life pushing Jesus further and further out?  I can understand.

Now is the time to change that.  Today.  Right now.  Take a moment and just reach inside and offer everything up to the One who loves you so much.  Lay your burdens down at His feet.  Tell Him you are sorry you walked away, and you may need help in getting back, but you are seeking Him.

And seek Him with all your heart.  NOTHING in this world matters but Jesus.  Our jobs, our finances, our families - they are all under control.  It's not our job to 'fix' things; it is our job to bring to Jesus the delays, the struggles, the hurts, the frustrations - and ask Him to take it over.

And let Him.  Let them go.  Get up and walk away from them.  Let Jesus sort them out.  It may take time, it may not end the way you want it to.  But that isn't your problem.  Your relationship with Jesus is more important than how anything in life ends up.

What are you going to do?

I know what I'm going to do.  I may not change immediately, but I'm trusting God that He will help me find my passion for Him again.  I want to KNOW Him, not just know about Him.

My prayer is that you give it all to Him too.  Join me in this journey.

Blessings!