Back to work Tuesday

 In my prayers this morning I asked God when I could retire.  I kind of enjoyed my day off yesterday.  Not that I expect every 'retirement' day to be like that was.  Took my time in my 'quiet time' (along with interruptions).... went to Hobby Lobby and took over the two finished diamond art projects to get framed.  They said the order would be completed yesterday, but I didn't get a phone call so didn't go back. I probably will get that call today.  From there I decided to get my car washed  - and perfect timing, only one car ahead of me!

I came home after that..... and after all that strenuous 'work', I took a nap on the couch for about 15 minutes or so.  Then it was time to get ready to head over to the gym and meet up with Morgan.  I was able to get about 20 minutes of treadmill walking in before my chest workout.  My appointment with Morgan today is at 1p.  I was able to explain to Morgan why I can't get in earlier to walk the treadmill when I'm working and she schedules me during the day.  She said she understood for me, but her frustration had been more at hubby who will only get on the bike for about 5-6 minutes before getting off and coming over to sit at the 'bullpen' and waiting on his time.  Retirement sounds good right now, but training is one thing that will stop.  I will try to keep it for hubby as he needs it to keep moving; I can work out here at home - and will.  But, in the meantime, I'm writing down my exercises so that I'll know what to do.  Finishing out the evening.... Ms. Vicky asked me to come over and visit.  I still need to go see Ms. Diane....but did see Ms. Vicky so I'm good for another week or so.  

Besides being back to work today, I need to pick up a combo box of food (I accidentally ordered two boxes rather than just one), and have the 1p training. I can pick up my framed diamond art from Hobby Lobby this evening.  I know I have some difficult things to get done for work today, plus I still need to do those darn minutes! LOL   I have gotten started on them but need to listen to the recording to get specific things included.

Our friend, Chuck, is still in the hospital. He was to get discharged yesterday, but the doctor never came in. Not sure if he will be discharged today or if they found something to check on - but all the tests came back good (EEG and MRI).  His wife is frustrated for she wanted to bring him home yesterday.  She called hubby last night and talked with him about it.  LOL She knows where I work, so she asked hubby if I could do anything... and hubby told her no, I worked in the insurance division, not at the hospital. Trust me, I have no pull for ANYthing!

I found a lot of good high protein meals on Instragram last night. First time I've looked on there for a long while - and I got caught up in the recipe videos.  I need to write these recipes down for they look easy to make and delicious.  We need to eat more protein with working out.... well, most people need to eat more protein than just a piece of meat.  Even saw one recipe that I had forgotten about.  Easy peasy, and I think my son would love it.  Take sliced deli ham and lay out two layers. Spread cream cheese over it. Put a small whole dill pickle in it, and roll it up.  Slice in small pieces.  I remembered it a couple weeks ago - then forgot again when I picked up snacks for group.  I know I have it written down somewhere, but need to put all these little things in one place where they will be handy.  Sprinkle maybe Italian seasoning over it all before rolling it up; put shredded cheese in it as well.  You could 'doctor' it up to taste really good for a quick snack.  Ya think?

Have I ever mentioned how I don't like watching the clock in the mornings?  Sigh.  Got to get in the shower too so will be needing to get moving this morning. I got spoiled with my 4-day weekend. Working today, off tomorrow (doctor appointments), working Thursday, off Friday (for July 4th). A two day work week - not bad, right?  It's just I am having to cram things in that two days that I normally don't get involved in.  Someone wants to go to a conference and have the company pay for it - so i have to figure out who to ask and what to do with it. UGH. How did it become MY job?  That's why I ended up working last Friday... working on this project.  Sue said I could cancel my PTO for Friday, but .. as I've mentioned, I do take more time than my lunch hour at times for the gym so.... 

Ephesians 5:20 (NKJV):  ....giving thanks  always for all things to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ....

Sometimes it is hard to give thanks when things are hard, when sickness comes, when troubles come, when life is turned upside down.... we see and feel the moments that we are in.  But God.  He sees all things and He knows what we need to learn, He knows IF we will even learn it.  When we pause in the midst of our struggles and thank Him for what is going on, He will not only continue to walk us through that fire, (He will never take you to the fire and leave you; He will always walk with you through it, even when you don't feel Him there) He will teach you many things as you go through it.  Don't ever give up; He who is within you is stronger than he who is in the world (I John 4:4).

Don't give up.  Keep pushing through. You aren't alone. No matter what you are going through, you are never alone.

Have an amazing day!

Blessings!

and what a day it was!

 Our SIL did some 'work' that we wanted done while they were here, finishing up Sunday morning before heading to their daughter's for breakfast and then heading back to NM.  We settled in to finish up our 'quiet time' before getting ready to head to church.  I will admit, I debated on staying home and watching on TV; but we did not, and I'm glad we went.  The message was very good - it was on the subject of 'Why?'   Why do bad things happen to good people?   And we referred to the story of Job.  If you have never read the story of Job in the Bible, I recommend you do so.  This man lost everything - not over a week, a month, or a year - but all in one day.  His 10 children. His servants. His livestock. And then his health.  It was so bad his wife was telling him to 'curse God and die'!  But he did not. He could not.  The Lord gives and the Lord takes away.  Blessed be the name of the Lord.   We all could learn a lot from Job.

After church I filled the car up with gas, came home and changed clothes, text'd my son we were ready to head out - and within a short time he was there for us to follow up. So glad we followed him; we had driven up to Camp Verde before for the last graduation, but had gotten confused with the directions from GPS and the roads there.  Plus where we were going isn't really 'labeled'.  And, since we were about 45 minutes early before the doors open (thank goodness - that place ended up being packed!  Started a little late because people were still coming in and it was standing room only!), we were able to get close to the start of the line, just barely in the shade.

Hubby was being 'weird'.  Because we were just barely in the shade, he took it upon himself to talk to some of the people ahead of us (like, we were spread out in the cover, not in a line) and apologized we were in the 'line' ahead of them, that they could still go first.  And then later he went to them again and said his back was hurting and his son was using a cane... so they said we could go before them. It was awkward, but only for me, I'm sure.  We were together - so who went first was not a real issue to me.  Anyway..... it started a bit late, as mentioned, because there were so many people.  The family that hubby kept speaking to, they were there to see a brother graduate with his GED.  This brother was 52 years old! So there was lots of family there for him.  We watched our granddaughter do the walk, got several photos, then we headed out to get home.  My son and family were heading to Disneyland from there for the week. The granddaughter had come up with her friends and we got to see the two great-grandbabies too, and they left to head back home.  

We made it back in good time with no problems.  We saw one 'problem' - north of Anthem, I think it was.  The cars in front of us slowed almost to a stop - and as I looked, about six cars had pulled off on the shoulder, spaced out - and they were all busy unloading this one car..... flames were under the car; looked like some of the grass had started burning.....  we kept moving as they had plenty of help.  Once we made it back to town, we decided to stop and eat on the way home, and stopped at Applebees.  The choice was Denny's - and we parked in their lot, but saw that Applebees looked empty so we headed over there.  We got the 6 oz sirloin with garlic mashed potatoes and (me) broccoli (hubby green beans), and we got I would say triple the amount of food we normally got for the same order!  The house salad was in a pasta bowl, not the small bowl or plate you get elsewhere.  I mean, there was a lot of salad in that bowl! I.ate.every.bit.of.it!  So good.  Our meat was tender and cooked to perfection (medium).  The garlic mashed potatoes were good (and they gave about 2 cups worth!) and the broccoli (half the plate!) of it steamed.  It all was so good, I brought meat, potatoes and broccoli home for lunch today!  Hubby didn't even eat all of his meat.  And it was only 6 ounces!  So - after eating a delicious dinner, we headed on home. 

Luckily, we had nothing to unpack since it was a day trip. when we got home we just settled in. Yes, NCIS came on the TV.  But, by 9:30p hubby was snoring in his chair so I woke him up for us to go on to bed.  I took today off work, thinking we may stay at a hotel.  We didn't, so I am still off work.  I finally finished the diamond art project I was working on so have two now to take over to Hobby Lobby to get framed, and then put away for Christmas hanging.  This one will stay with me, unless someone expresses a desire for it.  Not a big deal as I had forgotten I had two of them.

Hubby and I had a conversation about him using a cane.  I have a couple here, but they don't have the thing on the bottom to keep them standing.  So I ordered one from Amazon yesterday and it will be here tomorrow.  He almost fell when he bent over to hug the great-granddaughter goodbye. I was slightly in front of him to his left, and as he bent down, he lost his balance and grabbed my leg so that I could help him not fall.  He has fallen a few times, as I have shared before.  He cannot do anything that will cause him to lean forward.  I blame that on the 'recliner posture', if you know what I mean.  Not being mean.  Truth.  He said he didn't want me to be embarrassed by him using a cane. I told him that was a stupid reason - I have two sons who use canes and that doesn't embarrass me, and they know it is for them, not for my benefit. So I think I have convinced him that using a cane will help him keep his balance, it will help him get up out of his chair, and he would feel more secure if he was using one. I think he has agreed.  But he also agreed he wanted one that would stand up and he wouldn't have to worry about it falling over.  I have a couple canes I bought from Ms. Diane's 'estate' sale so do have those.  If it would help me, I wouldn't hesitate to use one, but balance isn't my problem, it's my sanity.  Right?

Appreciated my son's post this morning.  He gets it.  Anyway... moving along....  

Got a second cup of coffee and a can of Elevate - hydrogen water.  Yes, it's just water, but I feel it gives me a bit of energy in the morning to where I will get some things done.  And for now, I'm staying here in my room although it is nearly 8a.  Feels good not to turn on the work computer. Is this what retirement could look like?  Wish I had enough money in the bank I could retire and do other things, but, 'it is what it is'.  When we are young, we don't save like we should... and sometimes what we have saved gets used for other things. And I'll leave that there.

In my Restore book, today it was on forgiveness.  He brought up the story of Louis Z - you know, the one in Unbroken movie.  What he suffered. How he survived. How he accepted Jesus as Lord. How he forgave those who beat him unmercifully.  The author was sharing still on how to forgive his father... and sometimes we have to think about how much we have been forgiven, freely forgiven, before we realize that even if we can't forgive, we can ask God to forgive through us, until we can forgive someone.  Even if they are gone, we still need to forgive if we are angry or offended.

I think our roof-mates are having some tree trimming done on the side of their house - keep hearing a saw and there is a truck in front of their house. I can't see the trees (obviously) but I sure heard wood being taken down!  They did not even offer us ANY of the fruit from those trees - kind of ironic, isn't it? We are roof-mates and they didn't offer any of the five citrus trees.  Ms. Amy let me help myself and I made a lot of fresh orange juice for both of us.  Ms. Vicky has a grapefruit tree and has offered fruit to us when in season.  Our roof-mates are somewhat standoffish at times.  They've had their house on the market twice now.  No bites.  They told hubby a few weeks ago that they plan to put it up again in October.  They start out by asking $400k for it.  I know they have put about $150K into the house, but they will never get it back.  Ms. Diane's house is still on the market - last time I checked it was $279K and I'm sure they have lowered it; there has been no one looking at it.  I'd really like to move, but hubby won't hear of it.  I may convince him at some point, but for now, I leave it alone.  As mentioned before, I want a small standalone house with no HOA.  Unless it is a very low HOA cost and they cover the landscape.  Just leave me alone in my own little world, right?  

Well, I guess I have rambled on enough this morning. Other than a run to Hobby Lobby this morning to drop off the diamond art projects (and maybe do a little shopping), a 3p gym training with Morgan, I really don't have anything on the agenda.  I know hubby's training to day is at 2p but don't know what else is on his agenda.  I work tomorrow, but Wednesday I am off as we both have doctor appointments.  I saw my labs on my thyroid and they are in the red again so not sure what Dr. Mark will do about that. He lowered my meds last time; it dropped, and now it's red again. Does that mean he needs to drop them further? I expect a lecture as well about something else, but will see.  I'm only seeing him over the thyroid labs; hubby is there for a physical.  His cognitive abilities will once again be discussed as well as other things.

I have two scales to weigh oneself.  One is my Virta scale when I was doing that 'diet plan'.  The other is a scale that measures like an InBody at the gym. I (hope) don't think it is really accurate.  Anyway, they have both weighed me the same (darn it).  Hubby came in here earlier and was really confused as to my scales.  He had stepped on the Virta scale and it showed he weighed about 15 pounds less than he did yesterday and he was a bit shaken up about that.  So I told him to use the other scale in my bathroom, and he did, and it showed his 'normal' weight.  I told him the scales should be the same.  So I got up and told him to step on the Virta scale, which is next to my make-up counter, just outside the bathroom.  He steps on it, and I notice he has his hands on the counter.  I waited for him to stand up and take his hands off. He did not. Sure enough, the scales showed him weighing less.  I told him to take his hands off - and viola!  It went to what the other scale said.  When he had weighed, he had his hands on the counter to keep his balance, and unknowingly, also pulled weight off his body onto his hands (make sense?).  Once he realized that was the problem, he was 'ok' with it, but it had shaken him up, thinking he had lost that weight overnight. (if it was me, I'd be celebrating, right?)  It's the little things.....

And with that... I'm off here. Sorry for the long rambling this morning.  I'm on 'vacation' and the mind is just going over my 'stuff'.  And I put it here to keep my family 'in the know' of what is going on - as a rule. Don't share everything, of course, but enough they know when I need a sanity check. :-)

Hopefully tomorrow I will have some insightful things to share.  Have an amazing day!

Blessings!

And Sunday, it is~

 The weekend has been busy with the daughter and son-in-law here.  Not that that is a bad thing. It would have been busy anyway with the activities we have had going on.  Yesterday we had breakfast, then the SIL got started on a couple chores I wanted done... 1) putting up cameras at the doors (not that we need them, but if one of us is alone, it would be nice to see who is at the door; 2) putting my little TV on a stand so that I can have something to stare at when working out or put in the back bedroom when we have company.  Some like to watch TV until wee hours.  We just are not one of those and I never have put the TV in the bedroom.  Bedrooms are for sleeping, right?

The dance recital for the great-granddaughter was about two hours long and was really cute.  Each presentation lasted less than 5 minutes, but the most hilarious one is of the dads.  Yes, the grandson-in-law was the largest dad, and he had a special part of playing the air guitar.  I guess there are a couple professional dancers (dads) and they did a few moves along with the others. Everyone was laughing and it was such fun to watch.  From there we met up with everyone at Dillons BBQ for a meal together. I had their BBQ ribs and was disappointed.. didn't fall off the bone like I expected... but from there we went to a new ice cream place with daughter, SIL, granddaughter and her little family and hubby and I shared a banana split.  Way too much food, although I didn't eat all of mine.  The scales showed I ate too much food as well this morning. Sigh. 

Today the SIL is going to finish up on the cameras (he had to stop and get screws last night, but the cameras are set up on my phone, to hubby's dismay) Sigh.  Reminds me, I need to give my daughter some $ to pay for them.  Anyway, he wants to make sure the TV is secure as well on the stand.  He's working now on getting the cameras set up on the ECHO ... maybe that will pacify hubby for awhile.  Give him something else to 'watch'.... if you know what I mean.  And I mean that in a nice way. :-)

They will be heading out soon and meet up with their daughter and family for breakfast and then heading on out to New Mexico.  After church we are to meet up with the youngest and his spouse and granddaughter and head up north for a granddaughter's graduation ceremony.  I asked if we could just follow him up there, stopping somewhere in between for something to eat, then on to the graduation. They will be heading on to Disneyland from there, we will do a flip and head back home.  

Hubby is already anxious about my 'driving down the mountain' as if I haven't done it before, and it won't be dark yet so there should not be any problems.  Except he tells me this morning, of course, that something woke him up in the middle of the night with the words "Don't go" and he said he doesn't know what that means, but he is thinking about the driving.  I'm rolling my eyes.  So I'm asking God that if we are not to go to the graduation, to let ME know as well.  

UGH - hubby is driving me crazy... let alone the SIL.  He is following the SIL around this morning, wanting to 'help'.  Big sigh.  He will drink his coffee when he is ready!  You don't have to remind him his coffee will get cold if he doesn't drink it!

I'm glad I took tomorrow off.  I ended up working some on Friday so Sue told me to cancel the PTO for that day, but I may just leave it alone.  I do take nearly an extra 45 minutes every time I go to the gym during the day, so there is that. Even steven, right?

And.... I'm back.  Yes, I've been away for a couple hours, I'd guess.  Which is why this is late being finished.  Cameras are up; tv is stable, and the daughter and SIL are on their way to visit their daughter and then head out for home.  Mixed emotions letting my daughter leave the state. Again.  She made a comment while here.  She does not miss 'home' (meaning here), but does miss family.  And I get that.  I miss my family back in the midwest, but I'm also smart enough to realize that if I'd stayed there, I still would not be that involved in their lives.  Just as here.  I try as best I can to let my children live their own lives and not interfere.  

Hubby is still dealing with the 'don't go' in his brain.  I told him that he is just anxious (because he isn't driving and just doesn't want to go?).  Maybe I can calm him down and find a place on the way back to stay at a hotel; you know he would love that; just to not come all the way back here. And, since I'm not working tomorrow, we can.  I'll have to check around; maybe something around Anthem would be nice.  Will have to work on that.  I'm thinking maybe watch church at 10:30a this morning rather than going.  Then I have time to check hotels and get hubby comfortable with going 'up there' for the graduation.  He is, and always has been, such a 'scare freak' about something happening to someone.  UGH. Don't let me go there!

Philippians 4:6-8 (NKJV):  Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication,  with thanksgiving, let your requests be known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

I believe I shall remind hubby about this passage; afterall, worry and fear is a sin, right?  If something happens on the drive; we are still covered by the blood of Jesus.  And, like Paul said, as much as I'd like to stay here with others, being with Jesus is far better.  

And with that, I'm off here.  Have an amazing Sunday!  Rest, relax, bless those around you.  Say a prayer for those you love. Keep them close.  Thank Jesus for another day.

Blessings!

A different type of day

 My daughter and SIL got in last night - about ten minutes after we left for church - had a vow renewal service we were attending for friends.  It was a good service.  Hubby commented at one point we should do a vow renewal.... and I immediately said no.... which he must have ignored or not heard....  and gave some thought and said we have already done it.  I remember one time at church (peer pressure, for sure) they had us stand up on Valentine's day and repeat some stuff.   I'll let him hold on to that, for I don't ever want to hurt his feelings, but, in all honestly, I would not do this life again.  And that is what a vow renewal says.  It says "I would do this all over again, the good and the bad."  My response is 'no'.  In fact, it is "NO".  And I'll leave that there.

Had some alone time with my daughter this morning as she came and sat with me as I did my quiet time.  We were able to catch up on some things, and I'm grateful she felt comfortable enough to sit down and chat.  Of course hubby had to interrupt us a couple times, but when he gets focused on one thing, he has to interrupt to get his answer.

We have the dance recital for the great granddaughter this afternoon.  Well, let me back up a bit.  After I get dressed (I'm still sitting here in my pjs in the living room at the table typing this) we will probably head to JiMichaels for breakfast with the daughter and SIL.  I had suggested Denny's but hubby asked if we could go to JiMichaels this morning instead. Not a big deal. Really.  It's just a location, right?  Daughter is in the shower now. SIL is out and dressed and having a cup of coffee.  Hubby is getting dressed.  I'm last. :-) 

After breakfast the daughter and SIL need to run to Costco to take care of one of her hearing aids.  Hers is through Costco so they fix for her.  We will come back home and then I'll clean up (eventually) for the recital. I think it is at 2p so we have plenty of time; don't need to leave until around 1p.  We have paid for 'assigned seating' so we're good.  And, we got the email the other day the entire family wants to have dinner together.... we just don't know where unless someone has checked it out.  I started to check what is in that area for 15 people, but then decided it wasn't my position to 'find something' so I quit looking. I don't know the area anyway.  People live in all different directions.  

This weekend is busy with the recital, dinner today and then tomorrow we will have church, then .... I'm drawing a blank!  I think we have something to do tomorrow afternoon, but I don't remember what it is for the moment.  Old age?  Mental decline?  Lord, HELP!  Don't need two of us with it!  LOL  Maybe tomorrow I will have better thoughts.  Maybe we don't have anything tomorrow afternoon.  OH yeah - now I remember!

We have a trip up north to attend the granddaughter's GED graduation!  How could I forget that!!  So up for that, and afterwards will be coming home and chilling.   Whew.  I thought I was losing it!

I know this is short, but I need to stop, get dressed, and ready to go to breakfast so the day can get started.  Hopefully I will have fun things to share tomorrow. I know in my reading this morning I read something I want to share.... so maybe I'll get a chance to do that.

In the meantime, I hope you have a cool, wonderful, amazing day!  Be grateful for a cool place to sit and rest. Shelter is really important in this hot weather.  And water.  So drink plenty of it.

Blessings!

I decided to take the day off....

 and I haven't told hubby yet.  I think I mentioned it on here before.  So, yeah... I have an 8a teeth cleaning appointment but (I think) that is the only appointment I have today.  I want to straighten up this room, take out my computer and my books that I read daily and put them in the living room.  My daughter and SIL will be arriving some time late afternoon or early evening. We may or may not be home.  But I want 'my stuff' out of here so I don't have to do it later.  Still want to get up and do my quiet time in the morning before they arise.

So why haven't I told hubby I was taking today off?  He will know it when he gets home after the bible study, of course.  But... I don't want him rushing home.  He will be home earlier than usual because Chuck is in the hospital.  His wife called hubby yesterday.... Chuck (remember, he had a stroke and still has difficulty doing things) decided he could take the trash out to the alley yesterday.  Without letting anyone know (is he sneaking like I do?) and he (the thought is) must have tripped and fell.  They don't know how long he laid there before Joyce found him.  Rushed to the hospital, he was having seizures and was unconscious.  He is still in the hospital and they did an EEG plus other tests on him.  Hubby hasn't heard the results but they were hoping to awaken Chuck this morning and see what is going on.  He was starting to get better in some areas, but this is definitely a set-back.  Hubby is naturally distressed and was in tears most of the day.  So no Chuck visit today and hubby will be home about 9:30a.

I made Morgan mad yesterday. Unintentionally, of course.  And, yes, I apologized.  I decided to give Morgan this last jar of salsa (as hubby is still working on another jar) and I didn't want it to go bad.  Gave her the rest of the cookies I had too.  Well, all but my trefoils.  Anyway, I was running a bit late for me, and mind you, it IS during work hours that I'm taking my 'lunch break'.... and I walked in at 10:22 for my 10:30 appointment.  Hubby is towards the end of his 10a appointment.  I saw Morgan look at her watch when I walked in, and I looked at mine.  10:22.  So I didn't go get on the treadmill, as I usually do when I have 10-15 minutes before my time.  When Morgan came back to the 'bull pen' with hubby, she said she gets after hubby because he doesn't get on the treadmill or bike when he comes in, but sits for 10-15 minutes, so she had to get after me.  I tried to explain that I wasn't going to go back after dropping off the salsa at the desk and get on the treadmill for 3 minutes or so.  And then I made a smart aleck comment that if she was going to get after me, I was taking back my salsa.  OOPS.  Wrong thing to do. She made a comment such as "you do what you want to do"... and turned her back on me and walked away.

Stunned, hubby and I looked at each other.  Morgan turned back after a minute and grabbed her clipboard and said 'let's go'.  I didn't realize she was mad at ME.... until we went to the first exercise and I noticed she was very cold and very angry.  I asked her if she was OK.  And she let me have it!  She said "you and T want to lose weight and all you are doing is coming in to do the trainings and are not doing any thing on your own to lose it!"  She probably said a few other things but I knew she was right. I tried to explain again why I didn't get on the treadmill (I mostly do, when I have the extra time) and she wasn't having it. I could have gotten on for 5 minutes.  So I apologized for making her angry, as I should.  She's trying to help us, and we aren't doing 'our part' by getting extra exercise in.  She got over, but I certainly felt bad about making her angry!  My comment about the salsa was just the thing that took her over the edge.  Yes, she got the salsa, but wow, ain't going to say things like that anymore - and will try to get on the treadmill. I didn't say it to her, but did comment to hubby (and he will probably tell her in my defense), that I am taking time off work so I can't leave much earlier than I do already to get there and work out.  Anyway - I was 'bad'.  My mouth got me in trouble and it certainly wasn't wise.

Interesting, with what I shared yesterday (thank you, son, for your comment).... in Restore, I am on Step 3.  "I ask God to help me own and release my past".  Talk about going into the past!  I shared, and today's reading talks about making a list of those things that I did and haven't confessed - or do and still do that I need to confess.  And then it says to not only confess them to God, but tell someone else.  Confessing to God is the easy part.  Confessing to others is harder.  But as I think about it, I think I confess a lot on here and you know me better than those closest to me do.  You know when I fail, you know when I am encouraged.  You know me. Not as well as God does, of course, but you know me.

I kind of started a list in my prayer journal today .... and I had to chuckle.  I know I have 'confessed' it here.  I sneak food. Specifically cookies, candy, ice cream.  I've shared that with you.  I know that God knows it too. And it certainly has not helped this body!  I've 'confessed' it to my sister and we've laughed about it - cause she knows what I have to go through.  I don't need shame or comments when I want an ice cream, or a piece of candy, or a cookie (or two or three).  I don't need to hide them under my top so that I can walk from the kitchen to this room while I'm working so that I can hide them in a drawer and eat them without hubby seeing them.  But I do.  And so, again, it's on my list of things I need to 'confess' and quit doing.  Especially since I want to lose this fat belly of mine.  So I will confess I got the package of Trefoils out last night, the only one that is left of my girl scout cookies, and I ate half of the roll while I was working on my diamond art project.  Then I put the rest in the freezer.  I probably should just throw them away, right?  Sigh.

So what if you started a list today and wrote down the things that you needed to 'confess'?  What would be on YOUR list?  I know my list is incomplete, some things I will keep just between God and I, but who do you need to go to and apologize?  Who do you need to confess to?

I remember my daughter, when she moved one time, her vacuum sweeper did not make it to the new place.  She suspected who took it, but said nothing at that time.  This person got in to an AA group, and I'm guessing this is one of their steps (step 3?) and he went to her and confessed that he took her sweeper and sold it.  He didn't have to do that, but he did.  He is a good strong wise and upright man now.

Maybe we all need to sit down and do a little confessing to God, and to someone else.

And, sorry, but I need to jump off and brush my teeth real good so I can get over to the dentist for a cleaning.  You do it too, you know, brush them twice as good as you normally do, right?  Yeah, gotta do that.  So until tomorrow - have an amazing day!

Blessings!

I really do want to run away

 So much is going on right now that I somehow feel 'all over the place' in my prayers and in my thoughts. Do you ever feel that way?  I don't need to elaborate on the things going on, but just to mention a few.... one son improving his health the only way he can at this time, another son getting drunk and passing out and going to the hospital only to be released and thinking its a joke, a brother-in-law having t-cell cancer treatment that is experimental, a sister having surgery today to 'tie up loose ends' (just to put it as a joke), a brother who is not in good health, and ..well, there are no words.  Another brother trying to be pro-active on his health and doing what he can to stay active and healthy and encouraging me to do the same. A sister-in-law who has the early stages of dementia that seem to be progressing, a brother-in-law in poor health and gets confused easily (had to go back to a flip phone and still gets confused). Hubby, who has his own confusion and forgetfulness difficulties.  And then there is me, and all my mess.  I often wonder if God ever gets tired of me beating on His door for help.

But today, when I chatted with God, I asked Him for wisdom.  Please make me wise, Lord.  Why? Because many times I don't know what to say to people when they do stupid things.  An interesting thing... one son and I discussed things I did in my single years and it wasn't a putdown, but an acknowledgement of memory.  I'm so sorry it is a memory.  And last night, another son brought up the same thing... only it came out as a putdown... you know, 'you did it so don't get after me' type tone.  Shamed? Yes. I felt so ashamed once again that I got drunk (there, I just said it) in front of my children. (not that not in front of them was ok).  I did a lot of stupid things while I was single.  A lot. And I am so ashamed of that time period in my life.  But God rescued me from that life and drew me to Him and changed my life forever. I won't say it has been an easy life, for it hasn't, as you know.  I've still made mistakes. And I still make mistakes.  But I'm asking God to make me wise so that I don't say things I shouldn't say; do things I shouldn't do, but that in all things I honor Him as my Lord and Savior.

Life is hard, sometimes, but it is also because of our own makings.  Agree?  We have to deal with consequences, and I guess my past being brought up (it's bad enough my sister does it at times!) by my children just seems to hurt more, because I made my life about me and not about them.  Looking back, I see what I did wrong.  But at that time, one would have to know my growing up years to know how it shaped me and removed any conscience of doing things wrong. Ok - enough about that!   

Life is hard, but by the grace of God, and His tender mercies for me (and you) He walks with me through the pain of the past and the struggles of the now.  In Him I can have Joy, I can have Peace.  Sometimes we have to let go of our pride to enjoy Grace.

Enjoyed my breakfast with Sue yesterday morning.  Had a somewhat busy afternoon. No, still haven't completed the minutes; maybe today (or maybe not).  Had to list all three boards and their members and terms to send to our new COO who is taking over this division.  Now I'm praying all three boards will be taken away from me and given to someone else.  And that I will be given a severance package and offered retirement.  I would take it, too!  And then after boredom sits in and I get things done that I want to get done, I'll find a part time job for play money.

Today I have a blood draw at 8:30 and then a leg workout at 10:30.  Other than that, it will be working all day.   I decided yesterday to take Friday off work.  I'm off Monday-Wednesday-Friday next week.  I just need some space and with hubby gone Friday morning, I can get some things done without him here.  My daughter and SIL will be arriving tomorrow night for a couple days - they head back Sunday morning.  I can make sure the sheets are clean (they should be) on the bed, maybe clean up around this chair.  It's a good thing they are staying here, otherwise I probably wouldn't see them but a few minutes. They are coming in for a granddaughter's dance program on Saturday (which we will be going to as well) and will be spending most of their time with them.  And that's fine.  I understand.  The SIL will put up my Blink cameras and will help with whatever I ask him to do for me.  I'm writing down little projects that won't take much time. :-)  Although there isn't much, really.  

Jeremiah 23:24 (NIV):  Who can hide in secret places that I cannot see them," declares the Lord. "Do I not fill heaven and earth?" declares the Lord.

How many times do we do something 'in secret', thinking that no one can see us, therefore, no one knows?  But God always knows.  He's like that 'big brother' looking over your shoulder to see you cheat on your taxes, pick up something you shouldn't be picking up, doing something you shouldn't be doing.  Why do we do that?  Why do we think we can do things in secret and no one will ever know?  We do it in secret because we know we shouldn't be doing it in the first place - or we would have done it openly.  Right?  Think about taking out the trash.  You wouldn't sneak it out of the house, would you?  You take it out openly.  I have no idea what that picture came to my mind.  But I guess there is another way we can think about the 'trash' being taken out....

Let's put our 'garbage', the things we hold on to in our minds, all that crappy bad stuff, all that past stuff in our life that we are ashamed of and don't want anyone to know about us.... and put it in the garbage bag and then boldly walk it out to the trash can and throw it in!  Our shame does not define us.  Other people do not define us.  In Christ we are renewed and are new beings.  It's a choice!  And it is the best choice that we can make.  I chose being renewed - even daily - versus carrying a big bag of shame on my shoulders.  Bad behavior not only destroys you, it destroys those you love.  It ruins relationships. It crushes hopes and dreams.  But we can be renewed in Christ and change our lives for His glory.

I guess I'm all over the place this morning, aren't I?  And my time is getting away from me and I need to get the work computer on, take a quick shower and get dressed.   

On a good note, hubby washed his clothes yesterday in the new washer - and it didn't stink up the house!  Love it!  It was really bad before, trust me!  Bad enough I wanted a new washer!

Have an amazing day!

Blessings!

More strong coffee, please!

We went to bed at our usual time last night....I had HIIT at 5p so by 8:30p I was in a very tired mood. Well, maybe not 'very tired', but I certainly wasn't wanting to do much.  At 9:50a one of our clock alarms went off; I think it was mine.  I never set the alarm so what happened?  All I could figure out was that Carlos (our house cleaner) hit the alarm button 'on'.  And 'ON' it was!  Pulled out of a sound sleep, I was left with a minor headache for the rest of the night.  No, I didn't get up and take anything, but because I was half listening for the alarm to go off again (it did not; maybe I pressed the right button), I was also getting up and walking down the hall an additional 2-3 times because of the water I drank last night. I know better than drink much water after 6p, but after my workout, yeah, I probably drank too much.  You needed to know all that, didn't you?  Anyway, I added concentrated coffee to my coffee this morning cause 1) I need this headache to go away and 2) I'm meeting Sue for breakfast this morning so need to be alert and get my act together this morning.  I'll need to leave by 7:30a at the latest.  Which means I need to stop early in here so that I can get ready. And I still need to work 7-7:30a.... especially since I saw an email last night that our new Sr. VP COO wants to know all the board members for the three boards I support and their terms.  Of which I have no idea. Terms that is.  I'll have to go back to the beginning of each board to figure it out. And I won't have time to do it all before I leave.  Oh well. I do have MY priorities, right?

I'll send an email to her EA and advise I'll pull it all together and get to her this afternoon as I have a meeting this morning. :-)  At least that will give me something to do.  I have had one meeting to schedule in the past 5 work days.  I have gotten started on the minutes I need to type.... stopping because I get interrupted and I need to listen to the recording.  But I'm working on it.  Now that Brett is gone, I can figure out my own way of doing them.  I'm really hoping this COO will decide that I shouldn't have the responsibility for all three and take them away from me.  And, dreaming on, maybe will think once Sue retires, that I can be offered a severance package. A big one. Wouldn't that be a dream? LOL 

Because I didn't have much to do yesterday I spent way too much time on..... Amazon.  There really isn't anything I/we NEED.  But I got on Amazon Haul, of which I haven't ordered before.  The prices were 50% off or more (think of nice tops for $7 or other little stocking stuffers for $1.36 or less).  I ordered 36 items from Amazon Haul - and I kid you not, it 'only' came to $119. With tax.  Hubby will not believe it when the orders start arriving next week!

We have 'group' tonight at our house.  It will be our last one for the summer.  We were to have it a couple weeks ago but decided not to meet as two of the couples couldn't make it.  Not sure if all will make it tonight, but we're still going with it, as far as I know.  If you recall, last time I bought all those sweet goodies .... and ended up taking them to my DIL at her work to share with her co-workers.  NOT going to buy that sweet stuff again - it was even too sweet for me!  I think I'll get a small fruit tray and a small veggie tray, and I have cookies in the freezer  - and that may be it.  Very little gets eaten anyway.  One of our group used to fix cold salmon and a bunch of other things but I couldn't even bring myself to eat cold salmon (I love grilled salmon)... I just couldn't. I'm not sure even how to eat cold salmon and that is higher up my food scale than I cook.  I'll run to the store after I get off work tonight.  It will have to be quick anyway. :-)

I do have scripture to share that I read about in my devotional this morning, but I don't have time to elaborate... so that gives me one for tomorrow.  As much as I love meeting with Sue (which will end the weekday meetings after July) during the week, I sit here with one eye on the clock and thinking about time to get dressed (and actually put make-up on and do my hair) so I'm distracted.  Add my headache in this morning.... think I will take an Excedrin... the coffee wasn't strong enough I guess.  I've taken a liking to flavored coffee lately, but it is weak.  I still have some Javvy concentrated coffee (liquid) that I bought last year and have one bottle in here so have been adding about a teaspoon to my daily cups.  Makes it perfect.  I was told once that the 'light' coffee has more caffeine in it than the 'dark' coffee does. Some day I will research it.  One would think it is the other way around.  (and I see that my paragraphs are running together....can I blame it on my distraction and headache?)

BTW, now that the washer/dryer has been in place for a day or so, I am more comfortable with them. I'm not sure if it was more my annoyance with hubby or I convinced myself they just didn't look right. But they are more narrow, and the same length the other way. Regardless, 'we' have a new washer and dryer and hubby plans to wash clothes today, I think.  He's already asked me how to do it. I don't know - look at the buttons, right?  All I was shown was set the knobs where you want them and hit start.  What could be different from the old ones we had?  I'm just grateful there won't be a moldy smell going through the house.  It smelled like gas and you just couldn't get away from it.

Romans 8:38-39:  I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Do you ever feel so overwhelmed with your circumstances that when you pray it is always "God, fix this?"  And He doesn't.  And you sit there and wonder why doesn't He fix it; you asked Him to.  And sometimes, if we allow ourselves an open mind and sit before Him quietly, we just may hear Him say, "I know you want me to change your circumstances, but right now I want to focus on changing you. Even perfect circumstances won't satisfy you like letting Me change the way you think."

Wait, what?  I need to change?  Why would God think that I needed to change?  Am I not made perfect in His image?  Well, yeah, that may be so... but my/our thinking may have gotten messed up along the way.  Sometimes we let the words of other people sink into our very being and find that those word tell us how we should feel.  If we really want to have lasting change in our life, let's try this.

Sit quietly before the Lord and let Him work in us.  If we are really going to make progress toward lasting changes, we have to empty ourselves of the lie that other people or things can ever fill our hearts to the full.  As we sit in silence, the Spirit intercedes with perfect prayers on our behalf. WE don't have to figure out what to pray or how to say it; let the Holy Spirit intercede. And then perhaps, just perhaps, you will empty yourself of what you believe or have been told, and allow yourself to be filled up with the love of Jesus.  Fill up on God's truths and stand secure in His love.  Replace those feelings and the lies the enemy has told you with words of love and exhortation.  Break loose the hold of the enemy on your mind and on your emotions, and allow Jesus to bring to you the peace and comfort your heart and mind long for.  It's worth sitting still and being quiet for.

Turn your eyes to Jesus, for He is the author and perfector of all things.

Have a soul-refreshing day!

Blessings!

Today.....

 I'm not even sure what to write about this morning. Oh yes, I had some thoughts as I read this morning through my books.... but my thoughts seem to be pretty much stuck and yet all over the place this morning.  Maybe it is because the cleaning people are coming at 8a and I'm wanting to get off here and get in the shower before they arrive. Still need to clean off my counter in the bathroom.  In here... they can only dust the end tables, the chifforobe (aka chest of drawers), and run the sweeper. Yeah, I might let them do that this morning. It's been a few months cause I had everything loaded down - but today, I want you to know the bed only has a couple things on it. A box I need to ship out, my calendar, my purse, and a blanket and little pillow.  Now my two desks in here are a completely different story and I give up on those for the current time.

Our washer and dryer were delivered yesterday around 4p.  They are more narrow than our old ones, and I'm not sure I 'like' the way the look, but I bought them so as long as they don't smell up the house like the other did, I'm going to be happy.  Hubby and I (I'm sorry to say) did exchange a few words about them last night.  After all, he insists on doing the laundry and therefore, these are 'for him', right?  Well.... long story short, and I don't even remember what he did or said to me in front of the delivery people, but I 'lost it'. Yes, this is a confession that I am not proud of.  As the delivery people walked out, I turned to hubby and told him "don't you ever say (or do) that to me again!"  Of course he responded back in kind and then I had to 'inform' him of who bought the washer/dryer. He shut up and walked away then.  It was a bit tense in here last night. Things are quiet this morning but are ok.  I think that is the first time - ever - I have confronted him about something like this.  Don't push me away because you want to feel important and in control.  It has nothing to do with either of us.  A delivery is just that. There is only one place they can go. Old stuff goes out; new stuff comes in, hooked up, done and delivered!  Right?  Oh - and I found a gray sock that had been missing..... it was under the dryer.   That and a lot of dust.

I have training with Morgan tonight at 5p and she plans on us doing HIIT.  I have certainly got to get myself 'straightened' out before then. Talk is cheap; I've got to get some limbering up done today before I go....  

Jesus and I had a serious talk this morning. It's something I feel we all have to do at some point in our lives - and I've probably have had several of these talks lately.  I feel like I have failed Him in so many areas. Perhaps it comes from one of the devotionals I read this morning about how 'rot' gets in our lives and smells up the place.  (It certainly was here last night for awhile!)  The rot of anger. The rot of indifference. The rot of ... well, whatever it is that is displeasing to Him.  It stinks up the entire house, and affects attitudes, and actions.  You agree, right?  When something hits us wrong and we respond 'wrongly'.... it kind of gives off a stinky smell, ya know?  And sometimes it takes more than air refresher and strong smelling candles.  I felt pretty stinky last night in my anger.  I really don't like when I have to let my pride down and say "I'm sorry".  But sometimes, to get rid of the 'stinky, rotting smell', we have to do that.  Pride is the downfall of all of us.  Some of us have to fight it frequently. We have 'rights' after all, right?

Matthew 9:9 (ESV):  As Jesus passed on from there, he saw a man called Matthew sitting at the tax booth, and he said to him, "Follow me." And he rose and followed him.

 I grabbed my Bible and asked God what I should share this morning and I saw this verse.  Jesus probably hadn't talked with Matthew before this time. But I am pretty sure Matthew knew about Him. In fact, in The Chosen movie, Matthew had been listening and watching Jesus for some time.  Actually, he was tracking Peter, but Peter was with Jesus.  (One can learn a lot just watching The Chosen).  When Jesus was walking by Matthew's tax table, He pauses and looks at Matthew and tells him "Follow Me".  Matthew got up, walked away, and followed Jesus.  Oh that we all would do the same without hesitation!

But what made me choose this verse is that I recall Gaius (the Roman centurion who 'protected' Matthew in the movie) asked Matthew later why he got up and left his rich life to follow Jesus, what does he do for Jesus?  And Matthew's response was "I have only one thing to do, and that is to follow Him."  That may be a paraphrase, but that sentence always hits me.

That's all we have to do .... is follow Jesus.  Why do we make it so hard on ourselves?  We tell ourselves our past is too bad, that we can't be forgiven.  But Jesus says we are forgiven, when we confess to Him and ask for it. Jesus doesn't hold back on forgiveness; He freely gives it.  I'm grateful for that, for my daily confessions of my failures - known and unknown - I need to know He has forgiven me.  No, I don't need to repeat things that I confess.... once Jesus forgives them, they are forgotten.  As far as the east is from the west, we are told that our sins are forgiven.  So grateful for that.  The devil frequently brings the past back up in our minds and tells us that we can't be forgiven for that.... and when that happens, we have to banish the devil to go back from where he came, for Jesus said we ARE forgiven, and that our sins ARE forgotten.  

The picture we have often been told is that when we come before our Father in heaven when we die, the devil is on one side telling all our failures and all our sins..... and Jesus is on the other side saying 'my blood covered that; they are forgiven.  Sometimes we have to hold on to that picture in our mind for life is hard.

But Jesus.  He made the supreme sacrifice.  Much like the military men and women do when they go off to war.  They make the ultimate sacrifice.... not to get us to heaven as Jesus did, with the forgiveness of sins.... but to make us free.  Jesus' sacrifice SET us free.

Have an amazing day!

Blessings!

Sometimes a book will give you a thought...

I'm reading a book titled Rekindled Flame by Steve Fry.  I met Steve Fry many years ago when there were prayer coordinator breakfasts put on by Bridgebuilders and I attended.  I remember he had wonderful cologne on and we women all wondered what it was, and I got brave enough to go ask.  I can't remember the name of it at this moment, but he bought it at Nordstroms, which is probably why I don't remember it. I don't go there.  I hear Nordstroms and I think $$$$$ way above my budget (if I had one).  Anyway - getting back to what I read yesterday..... 

Steve mentioned when he was in his twenties he went to Calcutta to work with Mother Theresa.  I'm sure you have heard of her - I would probably say it is more than likely this latest generation that has not heard of Mother Theresa.  Anyway, he shared that before Mother Theresa and her Sisters of Charity would go out and work among the homeless, poor, and sick, every single morning they would first go before Jesus and just worship Him - for two hours!!  Before they did anything else.  I had to stop reading right there.  It was mind-boggling for me.  I get up early just to spend time with God with my reading(s), my writing my prayers out, or getting on my face and praying, and usually writing in here.  On weekends I occasionally will ask Alexa to play instrumental worship music, but that is really more rare than occasionally.  I have 'her' playing worship songs while I'm getting dressed for church, but rarely otherwise, to be honest.  

The thought of having two hours to just worship, and nothing else, really struck me.  I shared that with hubby last night and we discussed it for a bit.  We both were thoughtful about it.  Why don't we worship first?  We generally get up early, go to our respective places, and then pull out our Bible, or other book we are reading (me, it's a devotional I'm going through right now), and begin our time.  But this morning was a bit different.  For one thing, my mind (definitely not the body!) woke up at 3:30-ish and starting singing "Our God is an awesome God, He reigns in heaven and earth, with wisdom, power and love, our God is an awesome God."  Over and over again in my mind.  I peek at the clock and closed my eyes again, willing sleep to come back on me.  I am not aware if I dozed back off or not, but when I finally arose, that song was still going through my mind.  Over and over and over again.  

So when I finally got up and came into my room, I sat here for perhaps 10 - 15 minutes, in the dark, just verbally singing the song a few times and then letting it 'run' through my head.  I was focusing on worshipping God first.  Will I remember tomorrow? Or the day after?  I don't know.  I just know that today I began my day with worship.  And it felt good.  I really didn't want to quit, but my rigid discipline of reading and all caused me to put worship on hold to get my things done.  It is definitely something I want to think about, and do.  Maybe God will remind me again tomorrow, and the next day, until it also becomes a 'habit'.  I have prayed that God would rekindle my fire for Him into a roaring blaze (hence the title of the book I am reading), so perhaps He will.  I want my earliest daily thoughts to be on Jesus, not on what I want to accomplish while here in my room.  Even if all I do is spend time worshipping, that is ok.

I think that is also why I love getting away from home (less distractions) and going someplace where I can read quietly.  I don't get to be alone when we do that as we usually gather in the 'front room' or the porch of wherever we are.  It's not the same, and I'm a bit more self-conscious of what I'm doing.  But it is where my thoughts are, not what I do so much.  Right?

Yesterday was a quiet day for us.  Church was awesome; the message had a 'golf theme' and was really good.  As we left, the men were handed a golf towel and a bottle of Arnold Palmer tea (1/2 lemonade, 1/2 tea) as their Father's day gift.  There was also a putting green on one side where they were letting men try to putt a ball.... we didn't go look at it because hubby hasn't played in years.  I quit years before that.  But whoever won the putting contest, Rob Bell, who is a pro golfer (who apparently has some connection with our church and our pastors), is offering a free lesson or lunch, or just meet up with the winner.  I don't know who that is as I don't follow golf.  I enjoyed playing when I did, but it got expensive.

Afterwards we went to my youngest son's house for spaghetti and meatballs and salad - and it was all very good.  None of the grandchildren or great grandchildren were there so it was pretty quiet and we could hear everyone talking - even with hubby's hearing aids going out ..... again.  He can leave them on the charger all night and in the morning they may have only 3 hours on them - or less.  He is always complaining about them and I get so weary of it.  I get it, though.  We all want to hear.  Before we turned NCIS on for our weekly addiction fix, I asked if we could wait about turning on the TV so that we could just be quiet (thinking I might read) for a little while.  No problem, right?  So he's on his phone, and he has the volume turned up because he doesn't have his hearing aids in as they 'died' earlier.  He had no clue that the volume he had it at to 'hear' his phone garbage (he was listening to one article, and I listened for a bit and finally commented with 'WHY are you listening to that?')  He was listening to some medical person (Dr. Barbara O'Neil) about some stuff and it takes 30 minutes to get through what she says.  I've listened to her before, bought her crap, and returned it without opening it - for my refund to be shorted $70 because there was a 'restocking fee'.  Nope. I run when I hear her name. He finally turned it off when I got after him.  Anyway - the rest of the evening was NCIS repeats. 

And it's Monday and I'm back to work.  Maybe I'll actually complete the minutes I started on Friday.  I was doing well on them until hubby came in to 'talk' and interrupted me... and I never got back on them. I really do need to finish things up this week, get the decks completed for the next meeting, and get some meetings scheduled for next year.  I need to. I should. But will I?

My new washer and dryers will be delivered today between 1p and 5p.  I'm still curious how they will get them in and out of the house as the doors will have to be removed.  But, it is their decision, not mine. The freezer and refrigerator across from them makes the space small to get through, so it will be interesting. But I should be operational this afternoon.  Hubby is already fussing about the need to do laundry - it's only been one week, I don't know what his problem is!  Come to think of it, the washer and dryer is not for ME, it's for HIM!  I only wash my own laundry when he is out and I can sneak and get it done.  

And the same thing is happening already with the new Vacmop I bought.  He used it last week right after we got it, remember?  He was asking last night how many pads did I get with it. I told him he didn't need to mop it again just yet; the house cleaners will be here tomorrow and she will scrub it.  Then just once a week, or 'as needed' ....  I told him that I've been mopping the floor in between house cleaning visits... but he has now informed me that he is going to be taking that over.  That was HIS job in the first place, and he failed to do it.  Now that I have a new piece of equipment, it has now become his job. Sigh.  Some days that man just drives me insane.  What has gotten into him to clean when he hasn't done it in 20 years or more?!  It will help, yes, but it is also annoying .... 

Romans 12:2 (NIV):  Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and prove what God's will is -- his good, pleasing, and perfect will.

Sometimes we need to change the way we think about others, about ourselves.  True?  I'm one to grumble a lot, as you know... about hubby and sometimes even about others..... and I shouldn't. That is the way of the world.  I need to NOT conform to complaining and whining, as the world does, but to 'change my mindset' to encourage and build up.  As much as I don't want hubby interfering with my daily routines, I need to encourage his participation in the upkeep of the house.  The fact that he hasn't volunteered in over 20 years is irrelevant, right?  He is volunteering to do it now.  I need to let him and encourage him. (I'm actually more curious as to the WHY he is volunteering to do it; it hasn't happened before.... )  He used to be so hard on the kids as to keeping the house clean.  I know the kids would run a cardboard box over the carpet (or other things) to get that 'line' in the carpet to appear it had been swept (which probably took more work than actually doing the work)... in defiance, of course. Our floors used to be so clean we could sit on the floor and eat off it.  I don't know what is going on with him.... but if I can get a clean house out of it..... just saying. 

But our thoughts and actions should not be as of the world and how it would react to such things.  Our words and actions should reflect the image of Christ.  It shouldn't be that hard, but for some of us, we 'forget' and find ourselves falling into the world.  Maybe this is a verse we need to be reminded of frequently - until it becomes a part of us.  Don't form opinions on others. They are still God's children, created in His image.  Don't put down others. They are also God's children, made in His image.  And you know what?  So are we.  Let's transform our thoughts and actions until we are like Jesus.

Have an amazing day!

Blessings!

It was a good day!

 Hubby was disappointed I didn't cook him breakfast yesterday (I feel) and opted for cereal instead.  Some days I just don't want to sit down to a 'meal', ya know?  So, we sat down and ate cereal.  It doesn't take me long to inhale my breakfast.... but hubby (I am pretty sure he does this!) s-l-o-w-l-y eats his food (I swear it is because it keeps me in my chair until he's done!!) because I try to be polite and not jump up when I'm finished and leave him alone. And, of course, he wants to talk.  Either I'm in trouble or he has to tell me all the political stuff he has read that morning on his phone.  Sigh. I don't care to hear either one.  Finally he told me that if I needed to get up, I could (thank you for the permission, right?)  I didn't question; I jumped up and went on with what I was doing.  Not to put hubby down... he always eats a meal slow because I am captive.  But then, I've always been an 'inhaler' of food.  When I was growing up, we didn't have a lot of food, so to get food, you ate fast so you could get it, if you know what I mean.  We always had food, but, never an abundance of it that I can recall.  After all, we had a big family.  

Then when I started working downtown for the phone company, we only got 30 minutes for lunch.  Trust me, 30 minutes and going to a deli down the street (or Woolworths!  Yes, I ate at a Woolworth's!) we learned to order quickly and eat fast so that we could get back to work on time.  So I have always been a fast eater - that's my story, and I stick to it!   Why did I feel the need to explain myself?

It's Sunday and I don't have to come out of here for a few hours yet.  Yes, I said hours.  Church will be at noon.  We didn't get up until 5:30-ish or so... I'm enjoying the alone and quiet time.  I forgot to wish hubby a happy father's day.  We agreed several years back to not buy gifts for each other for this holiday.  We used to, way back when.  But finally I had enough and told him I was not his mother nor he my father so I was 'over it'.  His daughters have never recognized Father's day nor his birthday in the past 44 years.  It makes me sad, and angry.  I think, actually, the oldest one might send him a note... but the other two do not.   I hope my children will at least send him a Father's day greeting.  In spite of how he raised them, he does love them.   We are to go to the youngest son's today after church for a 'Father's day lunch' of spaghetti and meatballs.  Hey - it's his favorite meal and I don't have to cook!

I had a good day yesterday.  I went over to my grandson's for his one year old's birthday party.  Got to see my oldest son's entire family and it was so much fun! Got to visit with each one for a few minutes.  My Princess was there with her two little ones (and hubby) and the oldest little one actually came to me for a hug when I called her!  Usually she is too shy - I hope that is the reason! - but she gave me a big hug.  Loved seeing another grandson that I haven't seen in a long while - and he even came outside with me when I was leaving and we talked for a moment.  Met his friend I have heard of for a few years but have never met.  I like her.  I went up to her and introduced myself as 'Hi, I'm 'Grandma' and after a moment I walked away.... my DIL called me over and asked me how old I was. I told her, and then this 'new friend' didn't believe it.  So, yes, I can call her a 'friend'!  LOL I guess I need to keep the brown in my hair instead of letting it go 'all gray/white'.  Maybe it does make me look younger!

My son gave me a compliment!  I had one of the little ones and I was lifting her up and down by my arms. He commented that if I hadn't been working out, I couldn't have done that.  I paused - and he was probably right!  Don't use it, you lose it, right?  But it also reminded me in that moment of the Christmas commercial that always brings me to tears (ok, one of them).  Remember the one about the old man who decided to start working out with a kettle bell?  He would lift it up, and the nosey neighbor called his daughter to tell her he was doing crazy things.  He kept doing it even when it was cold.  Then came Christmas, and he went to his daughter's house with a package.  He comes inside and his little granddaughter comes shyly down the stairs. Such a cutie!  And he smiles.  And he opens the box to show a star to put on the tree.  And with his arms, he lifts his granddaughter up, and she places the star upon the tree.  He looks at his daughter and gives a smile, and she realizes what the working out with the kettlebell was for.  It was so he could lift his granddaughter up to put the star on the tree.  Sigh. Doesn't that tug at your heart strings?

I wasn't hungry when I got home, but hubby asked if we could go out to eat... and admitted it was his fault... all he had eaten all day was the cereal and a protein bar while I was gone. That's what I'm telling you!  If someone doesn't fix it for him.....!  There is lunchmeat in the refrigerator, bread, TV dinners in the freezer... there is food for him to eat. Anyway, we went to Bobbi's cafe not far from here. They only stay open until six on Friday and Saturday, and it was around 5p when he wanted to go.  I was not hungry at all since I had pizza and chips at my grandson's house.  I ordered onion rings (and wished I didn't cause I wasn't hungry, but cause I had ordered them, ate them all!) and hubby got a club sandwich that was about 4" high and they didn't use lunchmeat!  The used REAL ham and REAL turkey - in other words, cut it off cause they were thick slices. He barely could eat it all, but did except some of the bread, and left a few fries as well.  So he got to eat.  And we wonder why we can't lose weight, right?

Father's Day.  I sit here and think about my own father, who passed away when I was 7, and I wonder what my life would have been like had he lived.  He was 38, died February 7th, and would have been 39 on February 18th.  Dates have a way of following you around throughout your life, you know?  Keeps you remembering others.....  Anyway, I was looking at some pictures of my dad, and wondering what would be different.  My growing up years would definitely be different! My mindset would be different. I don't have many memories of my dad, but I know he loved me.  And sometimes that is all we need to know.  My daddy loved me.  

And sometimes we only need to know that God loves us.  God loves me. He watches over me. He protects me from my stupid stuff (unless I just ignore Him and choose to do my own thing anyway), and lets me do what I want to do, even if it is wrong. He teaches me. He strengthens me. He loves me. Just like I imagine my real father would have done.  God loves you too, no matter what the past looks like, He still loves you. And sometimes we just have to hang on to that.

Have an amazing day!  Pause to tell someone 'happy Father's day' or just to 'have a good day'. Sometimes that is what they need to feel valued. And that's something we all need.

Blessings!

Am I sleeping better and don't know it?

 I felt like I was awake most of the night. I felt like I was tossing and turning. I woke this morning feeling tired and exhausted.  Why?  I bought the silver sheets, right?  Hubby seems to be sleeping well.  Sigh. But I look at my sleep results and it shows I woke only twice during the night (getting up only once).  It shows I was awake for a total of 6 minutes; was in REM for 29 minutes, in CORE for 5 hr 38 min, and in deep sleep for only 13 minutes.  And that 13 minutes was three 'here and there' minutes.  So why am I feeling tired?  I got up at 4:30a and as I started moving around, remembered this was Saturday and I didn't HAVE to get up at 4:30a...... so I came in here and climbed into my chair.  I may have slept some; but lightly, I'm sure.  Hubby got up about 5:30a and brought me my coffee.  And here I am.  Taken my meds and still trying to get my mind pulled together.  

My agenda today is getting to hang out for a short while with my oldest son and his family today as we celebrate his youngest grandchild's first birthday.  I have a big bag of things to take with me, along with a gift for the little one.  I also made some salsa for the grandchildren and will be bringing that with me.  Some I used the little peppers, and the other I used jalapenos - and I think I may have added toooooo many of those cause it is really hot.  I think that jar, because it is a quart and not a pint, will go to my granddaughter as they do like the really hot 'stuff'.  I have three pints to take for the boys.  

I really need to discipline myself and get things done.  I have the bed in here cleared off except for my calendar and a small pillow and cover.  And a package for my little sister.  I was collecting things for her birthday... which is still two months out.... so I'm going to just send what I have here - and plan to send her a gift card for her actual birthday.  USPS has raised their shipping prices again.  I shipped a large USPS box a month or so ago and I think it was $39.  The only advantage to using the USPS boxes is that it can be really heavy and still go for the same price.  But, I am not using a USPS box this time so it just may cost me a bit more, as it is a bit heavy as well.  But I need to clear off the bed and to do so, getting it out of my way.  A 'love gift', if you will.  Got a couple books in there.  She has 'tie-up' surgery next week so this will give her something to read while she is recovering.

I have been biting my cheek (while eating) numerous times this past couple of weeks. I couldn't figure out why that was happening... but I think I have now.  I have had two teeth pulled in the past year on the bottom left side.  I have not gotten an implant ($$) nor a ... whatever it is called... to put in that area.  Last night I noticed one of my bottom front teeth was feeling like something wasn't right.  I looked in the mirror and it appears to be moving out of line (not that my teeth were straight to begin with, but I can tell).  My guess is, it is moving because of the gaps in that row of teeth and they are moving about. Sigh. I go to the dentist next Friday for another cleaning so will see what we can do about it. I just may have to pay the $ to get something to keep my teeth from moving. It isn't real painful, but I can feel something going on... and then there is the chomping down on the jaw while eating - that IS painful!

Mark 8:36 (NIV):  What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul?

When you read that, what thought comes to your mind?  For me, my thought is 'about those people' who have to have everything (the whole world) and do it however they can, without looking at what the cost may be.  By that, I mean, they don't give God a second thought; let alone a first one.  They build and build on their 'empire', but God is never in it.  They may be successful in what they do, but with leaving God out of the picture, they have forfeited their soul, even though they may have given many things and much money to others.  But they have given God 'lip-service' and not heart service. Does that make sense?

It's one thing to hear about Jesus and believe He is the Son of God, but it is another thing to live your life knowing Jesus as Lord.  Many people say they are Christian, meaning they believe Jesus is the Son of God, they go to church, they may even tithe.  But if they go back to their normal life in which they only occasionally give a thought to the Lord, does that mean they are a Christian?  I'm not calling anyone 'out', believe me!  I'm just trying to 'drive' this scripture home a bit.  We may do all the 'right things' but if we are not calling Jesus Lord and following Him.... we are gaining the world, and have no place with Jesus in heaven.  

I am not perfect by any means.  Like Paul, I would say I am the worst of the worst.  But I love Jesus and I want to follow Him.  I daily ask for His help that I will choose rightly the things I do and say. Am I getting it right? Absolutely not. Well, not always.  Sometimes, I do. I think. I need to follow through on things I feel I need to do, instead of just letting them fall by the wayside.  Notes I need to write; calls I need to make; visits I should make.  And I imagine you do as well.

Tomorrow is Father's day and we have been invited to go to the youngest son's home for lunch. Because we don't get out of church until about 1:30-ish, they have scheduled lunch for 2p.  We appreciate that. For one, I don't have to figure out lunch, and hubby feels a part of the family. And I'll leave that there.  I understand his feelings....  

I'm drawing a blank on what to write about this morning so guess I'll hush and shut this down.  Oh - I bought a Shark vacmop last week.  It was on sale (Amazon, of course) and I was needing to get a new mop for the tile floors.  The ones we have had were the spray liquid type and then mop over it... and I think the last one has the switch broken and you have to 'work on it' to get it to work right.  Anyway, it worked out that hubby 'offered' to mop the kitchen floor (I think that is the first time in the six years we have lived here!!). He didn't know about the vacmop at that time.  It arrived Thursday and I charged it up.  Yesterday he used it. Probably used all the liquid too.  Granted, neither of us had used it before.  But I think he kept his finger on the squirt liquid button cause when he was finished, there was standing fluid under the table.  I went over it and got it up so that it didn't warp the wood tile. But the floor looked nice and because he really didn't know what he was doing, or rather in spite of it, he was pretty proud of himself. I don't know why he offered to mop the kitchen floor (other than the fact it really needed it; it has never bothered him in the past.  I've always been the one to mop up the spills. But he offered and I let him. So that's done.  But he only wanted to do the kitchen; forget the hallways. LOL

And with that, I'm getting off here.  Want to write in my journal yet and then get in the shower.  

Have an amazing day!  Stay cool!!

Blessings!

Does it or doesn't it?

 I bought new sheets the other night.  Ones that said they would help us sleep better.  It 'supposedly' (or maybe I should just say 'it has') silver lines (of some sort) woven into the fabric.  With hubby always complaining about not sleeping well, and add in the fact that I haven't slept well (waking up early) some nights, I thought we could try it.  I kid you not.  I ordered it Wednesday. It arrived Thursday. Yes, the next day. Talk about surprise!  I didn't even wash them. I stripped the bed down and put them on it last night.  I feel I slept well, although my watch shows I did still wake up four times.  I 'truly' woke up at 4:25a.  And I got up. Although my watch shows I woke up four times, I did not go down the hall, so was it I was just turning over and my watch registered a 'wake up'?  

Hubby came in with my coffee this morning and asked how I slept. Honestly I said I didn't know that I slept much different; his response surprised me. He really likes these sheets. I don't recall him saying specifically that he slept much better, but obviously, if he likes the sheets, perhaps he did. He will elaborate later, I'm sure, but for now, he's getting ready for his bible study and visiting Chuck this morning. In about 30 minutes he will come in and tell me bye and head out the door and I will be ... alone.  

And that's when God and I get 'real'.  Maybe I will just leave that comment there. 

Yesterday was a weird day for work.  Sue is back and we talked about 30 minutes about 9a and caught up some.  She brought home a 'reminder' of her Aruba trip.  It's called 'sea-bathers eruption'.  She has these blisters on her back and on her side.... her daughter, who is an NP, did research and determined that is what it 'could' be.  Sue is going to a dermatologist, I think today, but am not sure.  The blisters are not sore, they do not itch.  They are just there.  She told me to look it up (and you can too) so I did. EEWWW. I think I'd stay out of the ocean if there was a chance of getting this... but it says it is itchy, and she says it isn't.  But it is spreading so to the dermatologist she is going. Stay tuned... maybe I will remember to ask - or she will tell - what it is after the visit.

And.... I/we did a 'thing' last night.  We went to Lowes.  I'm so tired of smelling that stupid mold in the washer and I can't find where it is.  Yes, I've tried numerous times to 'see' it and cannot without the machine being taken apart.  So we went to Lowes, and looked at washers.  I decided I only needed a washer; the dryer was fine. I don't care whether matched or not matched.  If we ever move it will probably be left here.  Anyway... within ten minutes (or thereabouts) of walking to the w/d area and looking at the different ones, I/we bought a set.  Yes, ordered both.  They are white. they are about the same size as what we have now (which is fine).  They were on sale; then I got the July 4th sale prices... then they added $50 each for hauling away the old; $39 delivery fee, all the gadgets to install ... well, within 30 minutes or less, it was all done and I think the final cost was about $1300.  On my Lowes charge. Plus I got another 5% off for taking the terms no interest for 12 months.  Then over to Barro's pizza which was right there, and ate dinner.

And then he asked the question.  "How do you have so much money that you can buy all this stuff?"  I immediately answered with the first response that came to my mind..... "I save my money".  Yes, I may spend a lot; I may give a lot; but I try to save a lot too.  I do have more money coming into my account than he is aware of.  He started to fuss about struggling with the bills... so I asked him, do you need money to pay the bills? and he said no, but there is usually not much extra.  I reminded him he should have about $250 extra each month because he (finally) paid of his car last month. (oh yeah).  I just kept repeating "I save my money".  He refuses to give me the bills back.... and I don't trust him enough to let him have this money I get and save.  You think I spend frivolously?  I do, I admit it. But, he is worse than me.  I've bailed him out of his credit cards twice (to nearly $100k) and told him the 2nd time that if he did it a third time, I would divorce him.  He isn't allowed a credit card.  Which is also why I always pay off my credit cards as soon as the charge shows up.  I only buy what I can pay for.  I'll pay for the washer/dryer once they are delivered.  And that is probably more than you needed to know.

For the first time in my life, I can save money. I can help others. I can tithe to God. I'm not going to let anyone take that away from me.  I will lose that 'freedom' when I quit work, which is one reason why I think I need to keep working.  I love helping others as needed.  I love giving back to God. I love the freedom to buy a washer/dryer without sweating if the approval would come through for credit.  Been there too many times when I've prayed something would go through because I knew the credit wasn't good.  God has blessed me (us) with my job and being able to save.  I don't want to die and leave my children with my debt; I try to pay everything off as soon as I get it.  And that's enough information.

I am 'enjoying' this book Restore.  It isn't what I thought it would be, and I am learning some things from it.  It's a daily read, like a chapter a day).  He tries to be funny.  Which makes it amusing.  Today he talked about going to see who he calls Dr. Obi Wan Kenobi.  He talks about a shirt his wife told him that she didn't like, so on their weekly date night, he wore the same shirt for 9 weeks without her saying a comment.  Finally, she told him again that she really did not like the shirt. That's when he told her that he had been wearing it for nine weeks straight on their date night.  He said the funny thing is, she had bought him that shirt!  But also in this chapter he was told to write himself a letter from God. He even put the letter in the back of the book (but I haven't read it yet).  He was always told he was worthless, had no value, would never amount to anything.  But he has learned that he is loved by God.  

And so are we.  We are the one that Jesus loves.  What do you feel when you read "I am the one Jesus loves"?  Do you feel special?  You should.  It is a true statement.  Jesus loves you (and me) with such a great love that He gave His very life for us.  And God our Heavenly Father loves us so much He gave His one and only Son, to die for us.  Isn't that mind-boggling?  I don't think I could give up one of my sons for everyone else - let alone an only son.  Could you?

And that's how much we are loved.  Think about that today while you go about your business.  You are so very much loved.  Human love is nothing compared to the love that Jesus has for you.  Mama's love runs deep, but Jesus' love runs deeper.

Hubby is now gone so I'm going to spend more quality time with God this morning.  Got lots of things to talk with Him about. 

Have an AMAZING day!

Blessings!

It was in the wee morning hours when...

 once again, I was wide awake.  Sigh. What is going on?  I think this is about the third time this week I awaken between 1-2a and then toss and turn.  I finally arose around 3:30a this morning and came in here, thinking I would curl up in my chair (definitely not the bed - no room!) but I remembered I needed to take my Fosamax this morning, which means I have to sit upright for 30 minutes afterwards.  Yes, I could have taken it later, but it is just as easy to take it now and get it done. Anyway, don't know what woke me up and why I couldn't go back to sleep, but here I am. It is now almost 4a.  Hubby is currently still in bed, but when he does get up, he will probably ask me if he kept me awake for he felt he tossed and turned all night... and he did toss and turn most of the night... but so was I.  

And, I fell for the stupid tax again last night.  I'm so tired of not sleeping through the night, and I got on the dreaded FB.  Yes, I did.  And seeing the ad for these 'miracle sheets' that have the silver thing throughout that helps you sleep all night... I'm getting desperate enough that I ordered a set.  Stay tuned on whether or not it works.  If it does, I'll take back my 'stupid tax' remark and recommend them.  One other time I bought a strip that I put across the bed.  It did work for awhile, but hubby grumbled so much about it we finally took it off the bed. He decided it didn't work.  Sometimes it isn't worth the discussion. I'm not even sure where it is now.  I think it was called a 'grounding' sheet.  Only it wasn't a sheet, which is what I thought I ordered, but a strip.  This one showed pictures of sheets so it better be the full thing.  

I needed to go to Walmart last night and get a birthday gift so asked Ms. Vicky if she wanted to go along. (she did)  She rode an amigo and followed me around the store.  I told her DQ was in that area, did she want? And then I saw One Nutrition and mentioned to her the SF Butterfinger shakes that hubby and I like. She wanted one of those so there we went. She insisted on buying mine as well. I was only getting one so I could share with hubby, after all, we had just finished dinner.  She really has no extra money from what she says... and yet she wanted to buy mine. So I will admit, I told a 'white lie'.  (as if there is such a thing) But I didn't want her to buy mine, and I watched how carefully I worded what I say.  I DO get a free shake after so many purchased, and I'm right close to getting the freebie.... so I used her debit card to buy hers, then paid cash for mine.  I wasn't to the freebie just yet. So I came out and told her that I get freebies after so many and handed her the card back and said I only put yours on the card.  I didn't tell her I paid for mine... I just said that when I get a certain number purchased (10), I get a free one.  I let her assume mine was free. So that is my confession. Vicky was so excited I asked her to go with me and again and again told me 'lets do it again'.  I didn't mind taking her with me, but on a wandering shopping trip, in which I browse every single row, I think I'll pass.  I like being lost in my own thoughts, if you know what I mean.  A quick run to the store for something isn't too bad.

My fingers are really swollen lately. The ring I wear on my left ring finger is so tight it is leaving a mark and will not go over my knuckle.  Stupid arthritis.  That is the knuckle that hurts all the time as well. Voltaren generally takes care of the pain, but I'm having to put it on more and more knuckles lately.  I need to look at my diet and see what I'm eating that is 'feeding' the pain.  I try to eat healthy, but cookies and ice cream and bread and and .. sigh. All the 'stuff' that isn't good for me, I love to eat.  With my older sister having rheumatoid arthritis for several years, I'm a bit 'anxious' that this could be something like that - with my leg(s) hurting, (although they haven't hurt the past two-three nights), and my knuckles hurting (most all the time). Need to give up some things; I know I do. Quit cheating. 

Hubby just brought in my coffee and asked what time I got up. I told him 3:30a. He asked why? I gave the only reason I know.... I couldn't sleep.  He didn't say 'did I keep you awake?' as he usually does, then tells me how he tossed and turned.  This time he stands and stares at me. I finally ask him "what?" And he says "It worries me that you aren't sleeping through the night."  I appreciate his concern, but.... and I'm stopping there. I finally told him that perhaps God wanted me to get up early, so that caused him to leave the room and quit staring/questioning me.  In the great scheme of life, when I get up doesn't matter, right?

James 4:8 (NKJV):  Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.

Does it ever feel like life is trying to break you? It doesn't matter whether it is a heartbreak, or just life itself, sometimes it comes at us like a freight train and threatens to crush us into the tracks. Ever feel that way?  I do, a lot of times. In fact, more times than I want to admit.  God tenderly reminds us that pain itself is not the enemy. Pain is the indicator that brokenness exists. That something is the way it should be.  The enemy is trying to take us out and bring us down and stick us in weary and broken spaces. But that pain also is the gift that motivates us to fight with brave tenacity and fierce determination, knowing we can find healing as we get through it.  

It is in that space of desperation where we haven't gotten through it yet, but want to, and emotions are raw and hurting and feeling so alone, without hope, that it is the invitation for God to move in and replace our faltering strength with His.  We must invite God into our pain to help us survive the desperate in-between times to get to the other side of it.

Oh, we can try numbing the pain we feel.  I have done that.  You have done that. But numbing the pain never goes to the source of the real issue to make us healthier.  It just helps quiet down the pain that is screaming inside of us.  What we use to numb us, though, imprisons us.  The numbness causes us to no longer feel, to no longer connect. We become as if in a prison of our own making, because our pain is so great and we can't let it go.  It steals from us the joy God has for us.

When we make the decision that enough is enough, and we invite God's closeness, He will come near to us.  For some of us, we draw close to Him by praying and asking Him to come near. Others may go for a walk and just talk with Him. Still others may sing a song, read their Bible, just go sit in stillness, and open our hearts to Him.  He is always waiting for us to draw near to Him, so that He can draw near to us.  For some, they go to Psalms 51 and pray for forgiveness.  For some, they go to Psalms 91 and seek healing.  They sometimes go hand in hand.  Unforgiveness can create havoc in our bodies as well as disease can.  We need to make the choice to let go of what is holding on to us.

One of my favorite songs is 'Draw me close', by Michael W. Smith.  I'm sure you have heard it; I am pretty sure I have posted it in a blog many months back.  I'm sitting here thinking of it this morning as I write in here.  Maybe it's time to share it again. 

Draw me close to You, never let me go. I lay it all down again, to hear You say that I'm your friend. You are my desire, no one else will do. Cause nothing else can take Your place, to feel the touch of Your embrace. Help me find my way, bring me back to You.

You're all I want. You're all I ever needed. You're all I want; help me know You are near.  You're all I want. You're all I ever needed. You're all I want; help me know You are near.

If you know the tune, hum through the words. If you don't, our best friend, Google, can find the song for you.  You will find peace just humming through the words.  Try it.

And with that, I need to get off here and get some reading done this morning.  I got nothing done yesterday at work, so there is that.  Today Sue is back so I'll get to hear about some of her trip (we are meeting for breakfast next week so will hear more then) to Aruba.  And we'll discuss another retirement I read about yesterday.  This has been definitely the year of retirements for our company!  I've pretty much resigned myself to the fact until we move from here, I cannot retire. Besides, I like having my own money.

Hope you have a day full of unexpected blessings!

Blessings!

One week to clean off the bed....again....

 My daughter and hubby will be arriving in a little more than a week for just a couple of days - their granddaughter's dance concert - and will be staying here.  Always good to have my own time with them, but that means also I need to clear off this bed - which definitely is NOT a bad thing!  Most now seem to be Christmas gifts coming in so will put in my closet on the shelf.  I need to quit ordering - even if I do have help.... just saying.   I had a big order (aka several packages) arrive yesterday. Two had my new workout shirts in them.  One says "SQUAT - no one raps about little butts" or something like that. I thought it was funny (speaking from a 'big butt' standpoint;... but hubby thought it was not appropriate for me to wear.  I'll wear it next week when I have legs again. :-)  The other one says 'Fittish - meaning I workout but like donuts' - or something like that. Too lazy to get up and actually READ it.  Have I put them away yet? Heck no - they are still on the bed. Hence I need to clear it off.  

I got absolutely nothing done yesterday. I had an 8a workout, which Morgan killed my abs.  So today can I not only NOT walk well (legs on Monday), I now can't move my core much (core yesterday).  I have my third workout this week at 11a - and I THINK it is upper body. I was thinking it was another HIIT, but I think she is scheduling it on Monday to allow my body to rest and recover from the past two days, at least. Although upper body is generally pretty hard too.  I can't remember what we did last - back or chest - but today will probably be back to biceps and triceps. Love seeing my muscles 'pump'. LOL  No worries, they drop back down to normal at the end of the day.

Hubby was distressed yesterday.  He finally called the service warranty company about the appliance company who is 'supposed' to be getting our oven control fixed.  It's been nearly two months; I'd have to look up when they took it - that we have been without an over OR a stove.  Thank goodness for air fryers, electric skillets, grills, and griddles and toaster ovens!  At least I have all the appliances needed to continue cooking..... I just can't bake my breads. Which could also be a good thing, right?  Anyway, he spent time on the phone with the service warranty company and also called the appliance store again. They obviously recognize his number now and are refusing to pick it up. Just our thinking, anyway, since there is no answer.  Service warranty wants him to tell the appliance company to call their authorization department. Let's see if we get a new oven or ...??  It may end up being a kitchen remodel. Which I really do not want, but will accept if I get new appliances.

Anyway, mid-afternoon he comes in nearly crying and tells me he thinks the appliance store is lying to us about sending the part out; last conversation said it was fixed 3 weeks ago and they are waiting for Chicago to send the part back... and still nothing.  Now they don't answer the phone.  Did none of this happen or is it the truth?    And the rest of his distress I won't post on here. It's not fair.

One package I received yesterday I think I will be returning.  I'm a 'short person' at 5'3" for the most part. I ordered a pair of baggy pants.  I kid you not; they must be for a woman 6 ft tall!  I'm not into hemming pants for myself and I'm not going to waste money on getting them hemmed when I know I won't wear them that often. So yeah, I am going to return them.  I still have a doll I am returning anyway, so may as well take both back at the same time, right?  Why don't I like the doll?  It has a weird smile for a sleeping baby... and it's legs are bent so much they don't look normal.  It's just a doll, but I can't think of anyone I'd give it to - and if I don't like it, it's going back, right?

My oldest son sent me in a fabulous review on a smart ring I had given him.  I posted the entire thing on the review part.  It was really good.  I don't even give that much of a review on products I purchase!  He was very thorough and I feel it would be very helpful to anyone looking to purchase a smart ring. I tried to give another smart ring to my youngest, but he wasn't interested as he had just bought himself a new Fitbit.  I wonder if one of my grandsons would be interested.  I may see one on Saturday when I attend his son's birthday party and if I remember, will check with him.  I was able to click on the link a second time and note that I'll bring chips and only I will be attending.  Hubby already has something on his calendar to do - which isn't a bad thing; he can't handle being in the sun as he sweats profusely.  And he has to be where I am, if you know what I mean.  I'm not swimming, but depending on where the food is, that is probably where I'll be. LOL  I won't stay long, but do want to attend and be a part of it and if my granddaughter is up for the party with her little family, my day will be perfect.

Ok - back again.  Had to pause and get on the work computer, and then my daughter called, and since those are not frequent calls, wanted to chat a bit.  Now, got my water, not dressed yet, but here I am. Working. cough cough.  Still have my list of things to do; maybe I can get my minutes done today.

Got to cut this short....  more tomorrow. Hopefully I can think of something good to write.

Have an amazing day!

Blessings!