I'm not even sure what to write about this morning. Oh yes, I had some thoughts as I read this morning through my books.... but my thoughts seem to be pretty much stuck and yet all over the place this morning. Maybe it is because the cleaning people are coming at 8a and I'm wanting to get off here and get in the shower before they arrive. Still need to clean off my counter in the bathroom. In here... they can only dust the end tables, the chifforobe (aka chest of drawers), and run the sweeper. Yeah, I might let them do that this morning. It's been a few months cause I had everything loaded down - but today, I want you to know the bed only has a couple things on it. A box I need to ship out, my calendar, my purse, and a blanket and little pillow. Now my two desks in here are a completely different story and I give up on those for the current time.
Our washer and dryer were delivered yesterday around 4p. They are more narrow than our old ones, and I'm not sure I 'like' the way the look, but I bought them so as long as they don't smell up the house like the other did, I'm going to be happy. Hubby and I (I'm sorry to say) did exchange a few words about them last night. After all, he insists on doing the laundry and therefore, these are 'for him', right? Well.... long story short, and I don't even remember what he did or said to me in front of the delivery people, but I 'lost it'. Yes, this is a confession that I am not proud of. As the delivery people walked out, I turned to hubby and told him "don't you ever say (or do) that to me again!" Of course he responded back in kind and then I had to 'inform' him of who bought the washer/dryer. He shut up and walked away then. It was a bit tense in here last night. Things are quiet this morning but are ok. I think that is the first time - ever - I have confronted him about something like this. Don't push me away because you want to feel important and in control. It has nothing to do with either of us. A delivery is just that. There is only one place they can go. Old stuff goes out; new stuff comes in, hooked up, done and delivered! Right? Oh - and I found a gray sock that had been missing..... it was under the dryer. That and a lot of dust.
I have training with Morgan tonight at 5p and she plans on us doing HIIT. I have certainly got to get myself 'straightened' out before then. Talk is cheap; I've got to get some limbering up done today before I go....
Jesus and I had a serious talk this morning. It's something I feel we all have to do at some point in our lives - and I've probably have had several of these talks lately. I feel like I have failed Him in so many areas. Perhaps it comes from one of the devotionals I read this morning about how 'rot' gets in our lives and smells up the place. (It certainly was here last night for awhile!) The rot of anger. The rot of indifference. The rot of ... well, whatever it is that is displeasing to Him. It stinks up the entire house, and affects attitudes, and actions. You agree, right? When something hits us wrong and we respond 'wrongly'.... it kind of gives off a stinky smell, ya know? And sometimes it takes more than air refresher and strong smelling candles. I felt pretty stinky last night in my anger. I really don't like when I have to let my pride down and say "I'm sorry". But sometimes, to get rid of the 'stinky, rotting smell', we have to do that. Pride is the downfall of all of us. Some of us have to fight it frequently. We have 'rights' after all, right?
Matthew 9:9 (ESV): As Jesus passed on from there, he saw a man called Matthew sitting at the tax booth, and he said to him, "Follow me." And he rose and followed him.
I grabbed my Bible and asked God what I should share this morning and I saw this verse. Jesus probably hadn't talked with Matthew before this time. But I am pretty sure Matthew knew about Him. In fact, in The Chosen movie, Matthew had been listening and watching Jesus for some time. Actually, he was tracking Peter, but Peter was with Jesus. (One can learn a lot just watching The Chosen). When Jesus was walking by Matthew's tax table, He pauses and looks at Matthew and tells him "Follow Me". Matthew got up, walked away, and followed Jesus. Oh that we all would do the same without hesitation!
But what made me choose this verse is that I recall Gaius (the Roman centurion who 'protected' Matthew in the movie) asked Matthew later why he got up and left his rich life to follow Jesus, what does he do for Jesus? And Matthew's response was "I have only one thing to do, and that is to follow Him." That may be a paraphrase, but that sentence always hits me.
That's all we have to do .... is follow Jesus. Why do we make it so hard on ourselves? We tell ourselves our past is too bad, that we can't be forgiven. But Jesus says we are forgiven, when we confess to Him and ask for it. Jesus doesn't hold back on forgiveness; He freely gives it. I'm grateful for that, for my daily confessions of my failures - known and unknown - I need to know He has forgiven me. No, I don't need to repeat things that I confess.... once Jesus forgives them, they are forgotten. As far as the east is from the west, we are told that our sins are forgiven. So grateful for that. The devil frequently brings the past back up in our minds and tells us that we can't be forgiven for that.... and when that happens, we have to banish the devil to go back from where he came, for Jesus said we ARE forgiven, and that our sins ARE forgotten.
The picture we have often been told is that when we come before our Father in heaven when we die, the devil is on one side telling all our failures and all our sins..... and Jesus is on the other side saying 'my blood covered that; they are forgiven. Sometimes we have to hold on to that picture in our mind for life is hard.
But Jesus. He made the supreme sacrifice. Much like the military men and women do when they go off to war. They make the ultimate sacrifice.... not to get us to heaven as Jesus did, with the forgiveness of sins.... but to make us free. Jesus' sacrifice SET us free.
Have an amazing day!
Blessings!
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