I have patience. Most of the time. With most people. And most always with my grandchildren. I think I can remember only one time of being the start of impatient with a granddaughter. I think she was about ten. We had gone to her favorite store(s) to do some shopping. Since it is said she is a lot like me (I look at lots of things, even carry them around with me, then put them back and walk out of the store two hours later) it was decided that I should be the one to take her on this shopping trip. Which I did gladly. However, by the time we had gotten to the fifth store and she had not purchased anything, I was getting a little weary. Not of being with her, mind you, but the fact she hadn't purchased anything in any of the previous four stores. I finally commented to her something like 'will you please just find something?'. To which she responded, "Grandma, does someone need a nap?" That cracked me up and it didn't matter anymore. I still look back on that time with fondness of memory. It was just so out of the blue and so unexpected.
Some things about patience I have learned from a book I've been going through........
Patience should be a virtue. How do we do that?
Prioritize patience as a virtue worthy of developing. Arnold Glasgow stated, "The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not smashing it."
Understand that it takes time to build good relationships. That includes people you associate with as well as even siblings. You learn if you can trust them. When that trust is broken, you find you move slower and more cautiously to have a good relationship. Anything really worthwhile in this life takes time to build, and that's true also of relationships. Even in the best circumstances, such as when you have instant chemistry with another person, it still takes time to build that relationship and make it strong. All good relationships take time.
Each of us thinks our circumstances warrant special consideration - people should be extra patient with us. Instead, we should turn the tables; we should put ourselves in the other person's place and be extra patient with them. And some people need a lot of extra patience.
We all have heard the story......... the next time you're feeling impatient with someone who is slowing you down, think about this story:
A young woman's car stalled at a stoplight. She tried and tried to get it started, but had no luck whatsoever. The light turned green, and there she sat, angry and embarrassed, holding up traffic. The car behind her could have gone around, but instead the driver added to her frustration by laying on his horn. After another desperate attempt to get the car started, she got out and walked back to the other car. The man rolled down his window in surprise. "Tell you what," she said. "You go start my car, and I'll sit back here and honk the horn for you."
and the last point for today....
Realize that people have and create problems.
When it comes to people, there is good news, and there is bad news. The good news is that some people in your life are going to be the source of your greatest joy. The bad news is that those same people may be the cause of your greatest problems. That’s true not only at home but also at work. And the higher you climb in leadership, the more difficult the problems. When you decide to develop a relationship with another person, keep in mind that it’s a package deal. You don’t get to take only the good stuff and reject the bad. Everybody has problems, blind spots, and bad habits. Try to give others the same kind of grace you’d like to receive for your shortcomings.
Blessings!
Thursday, June 26, 2014
Tuesday, June 24, 2014
Flawed and Cracked, He still loves me...
An elderly Chinese woman had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole which she carried across her neck. One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water. At the end of the long walks from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full. For a full two years this went on daily, with the woman bringing home only one and a half pots of water.
Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it could only do half of what it had been made to do.
After two years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to the woman one day by the stream. 'I am ashamed of myself, because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house.'
The old woman smiled, 'Did you notice that there are flowers on your side of the path, but not on the other pot's side?' That's because I have always known about your flaw, so I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you water them.'
For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table. Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house.'
Each of us has our own unique flaw. But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding. You've just got to take each person for what they are and look for the good in them.
In cleaning up and deleting a lot of my emails, I came across the one above. A story someone had sent me. I thought to myself as I read it, "how ironic I find this now". I especially focus on the last "paragraph". 'Each of us has our own unique flaw. But it's the cracks and flaws we each ahve that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding. You've just got to take each person for what they are and look for the good in them.'
Sometimes you have to look real deep to find good.... sometimes it is there on the surface.... and sometimes it is so hidden you wonder if they have any good in them. But they surely do. God gives each of us Good. We may not want others to see that good in us, but it is there. It is in the kind moments when you speak to your children. It is in the moments when you are touched by a stranger's pain and reach out a hand. Sometimes you just feel it.
Have you watered any flowers along the way? I picture myself as the cracked and flawed pot. By the grace of God, He loves me and accepts me just as I am. He doesn't look for faults, He doesn't diss me, He doesn't say cruel and hateful things to me. He just loves me.
In spite of the fact He let the blower on my air conditioner in the car go out last night. He still loves me. And I hang on to that.
Blessings!
Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it could only do half of what it had been made to do.
After two years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to the woman one day by the stream. 'I am ashamed of myself, because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house.'
The old woman smiled, 'Did you notice that there are flowers on your side of the path, but not on the other pot's side?' That's because I have always known about your flaw, so I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you water them.'
For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table. Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house.'
Each of us has our own unique flaw. But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding. You've just got to take each person for what they are and look for the good in them.
In cleaning up and deleting a lot of my emails, I came across the one above. A story someone had sent me. I thought to myself as I read it, "how ironic I find this now". I especially focus on the last "paragraph". 'Each of us has our own unique flaw. But it's the cracks and flaws we each ahve that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding. You've just got to take each person for what they are and look for the good in them.'
Sometimes you have to look real deep to find good.... sometimes it is there on the surface.... and sometimes it is so hidden you wonder if they have any good in them. But they surely do. God gives each of us Good. We may not want others to see that good in us, but it is there. It is in the kind moments when you speak to your children. It is in the moments when you are touched by a stranger's pain and reach out a hand. Sometimes you just feel it.
Have you watered any flowers along the way? I picture myself as the cracked and flawed pot. By the grace of God, He loves me and accepts me just as I am. He doesn't look for faults, He doesn't diss me, He doesn't say cruel and hateful things to me. He just loves me.
In spite of the fact He let the blower on my air conditioner in the car go out last night. He still loves me. And I hang on to that.
Blessings!
Monday, June 23, 2014
How much are you willing to give in relationships?
I read an article this morning about Seabiscuit, the great horse that took the world by storm back in the 1930's, I believe it was.
Hillenbrand describes the horse this way:
The colt’s body, built low to the ground, had all the properties of a cinder block…..His stubby legs were a study in unsound construction….Thanks to his unfortunate assembly, his walk was an odd, straddle-legged motion that was often mistaken for lameness….His gallop was so disorganized that he had a maddening tendency to whack himself in the front ankle with his own hind hoof…All of this raggedness was not helped by his racing schedule….Though only three years old, he had already run forty-three races, far more than most horses contest in their entire careers.
What looked to others like an incorrigible nag became one of the world's most famous racehorses. But it took three men that were very different to work together for it to happen. A millionaire, a frontiersman, and a prizefighter. These three men, though so very different, did not focus on their differences, but on what they had in common. Making Seabiscuit a champion.
They had to be willing to find the 1 percent they agreed on and give it 100 percent of their effort. John Maxwell puts it this way, "If two men on the same job agree all the time, then one is useless. If they disagree all the time, then both are useless." So the question you need to ask yourself is, "Can I find common ground, and will I give it 100 percent of my effort?"
Mr. Maxwell goes on to say...."Sometimes building relationships is an uphill battle, and connecting with another person can be particularly difficult. How do you connect with people when you seem to have nothing in common with them? Can you build relationship bridges in such circumstances? And, if so, can the relationships be healthy, long-lasting, and productive? These are legitimate questions. Let’s face it. When you see no common ground with another person, it’s going to be a challenge to connect. So how do you do it?
The answer can be found in the 101 Percent Principle. When connection is difficult, you must find the one thing the two of you can agree upon. You can do that with just about anybody. The problem is that many people naturally take the opposite approach; they look for differences. Why? Sometimes it’s due to natural competitiveness; people are often looking for an edge. Sometimes it’s to make themselves stand out, to find their own distinctiveness. Other times people focus on differences because they feel threatened by others.
Instead, to make a connection, people need to reach common ground. Most people have many things in common. But even the oddest couple can find something they agree on. Once they do, they need to give it 100 percent of their effort. The greater the differences, the more important it is to focus on what they agree on – and the greater the effort they need to give it. That’s not always easy, but the benefits can be remarkably rewarding."
I think of relationships within my own world. Right now some are healthy and some are not. Ok, I've had to erase three times what I've written so guess I need not say any more. I don't write to offend others, and my prayer is always that their (and mine) eyes will be opened to see themselves as others see them.
In thinking about Seabiscuit, he won because others were willing to move past their differences to help this horse succeed. In relationships, are we willing to move past our differences to help others succeed? Interesting thought, don't you think? Sometimes we hold disagreements, thoughts, opinions against others and use against them. Sometimes it is better to move past that. Ok - still erasing so can't put what I'm thinking.
So with that - this is kind of confusing today - but think about those in your life and how you can work together instead of finding fault in your differences. Build on the common ground.
Blessings!
Hillenbrand describes the horse this way:
The colt’s body, built low to the ground, had all the properties of a cinder block…..His stubby legs were a study in unsound construction….Thanks to his unfortunate assembly, his walk was an odd, straddle-legged motion that was often mistaken for lameness….His gallop was so disorganized that he had a maddening tendency to whack himself in the front ankle with his own hind hoof…All of this raggedness was not helped by his racing schedule….Though only three years old, he had already run forty-three races, far more than most horses contest in their entire careers.
What looked to others like an incorrigible nag became one of the world's most famous racehorses. But it took three men that were very different to work together for it to happen. A millionaire, a frontiersman, and a prizefighter. These three men, though so very different, did not focus on their differences, but on what they had in common. Making Seabiscuit a champion.
They had to be willing to find the 1 percent they agreed on and give it 100 percent of their effort. John Maxwell puts it this way, "If two men on the same job agree all the time, then one is useless. If they disagree all the time, then both are useless." So the question you need to ask yourself is, "Can I find common ground, and will I give it 100 percent of my effort?"
Mr. Maxwell goes on to say...."Sometimes building relationships is an uphill battle, and connecting with another person can be particularly difficult. How do you connect with people when you seem to have nothing in common with them? Can you build relationship bridges in such circumstances? And, if so, can the relationships be healthy, long-lasting, and productive? These are legitimate questions. Let’s face it. When you see no common ground with another person, it’s going to be a challenge to connect. So how do you do it?
The answer can be found in the 101 Percent Principle. When connection is difficult, you must find the one thing the two of you can agree upon. You can do that with just about anybody. The problem is that many people naturally take the opposite approach; they look for differences. Why? Sometimes it’s due to natural competitiveness; people are often looking for an edge. Sometimes it’s to make themselves stand out, to find their own distinctiveness. Other times people focus on differences because they feel threatened by others.
Instead, to make a connection, people need to reach common ground. Most people have many things in common. But even the oddest couple can find something they agree on. Once they do, they need to give it 100 percent of their effort. The greater the differences, the more important it is to focus on what they agree on – and the greater the effort they need to give it. That’s not always easy, but the benefits can be remarkably rewarding."
I think of relationships within my own world. Right now some are healthy and some are not. Ok, I've had to erase three times what I've written so guess I need not say any more. I don't write to offend others, and my prayer is always that their (and mine) eyes will be opened to see themselves as others see them.
In thinking about Seabiscuit, he won because others were willing to move past their differences to help this horse succeed. In relationships, are we willing to move past our differences to help others succeed? Interesting thought, don't you think? Sometimes we hold disagreements, thoughts, opinions against others and use against them. Sometimes it is better to move past that. Ok - still erasing so can't put what I'm thinking.
So with that - this is kind of confusing today - but think about those in your life and how you can work together instead of finding fault in your differences. Build on the common ground.
Blessings!
Friday, June 20, 2014
Bad Hair Day?
In searching for a story this morning to share when I send the reports, I found this one about a 'bad hair day' or 'bad attitude'. Some of you can probably relate to this one - one way or another! I found it interesting so am sharing it today.
Choose Your Attitude
or The Really Bad Bad Hair Day
- Choose your attitude? What do you mean?
I had a bad hair day. A Very Bad bad hair day.
I had gone to bathroom after waking up and almost screamed at the sight of the monster who seemed to live in the bathroom mirror. It had been there for years, looking mostly ghastly, but we got along. I wholeheartedly agreed that it was a blessing of nature my sight had gone worse during the years because I usually had a chance to slip into shower and only after that put on my glasses and look into the realm of the monster in the mirror. With my hair wet it usually looked ok and ready to be tamed.
Not so this morning. This morning the monster looked like it had suffered from severe electric shock. Einstein would have envied that hair. And of course this was the morning I had slept too long and had no time to shower.
I did all I could. I combed the hair. No effect. So I decided a pony tail was the answer. I used a lot of hair spray to glue my hair into a tight helmet. Nothing could escape a tight pony tail.
Or so I thought. Because when I ran to my car and drove to work I realized my whole pony tail had escaped. The rubber band I had used in haste had fallen somewhere. The hair was stiff from the hair spray and as it was a bit windy outside, the wind ruffled my hair into interesting spikes. I saw myself reflected in the glass doors of the office and the only thing that I could compare my head to was Sputnik. Or some other satellite - lots of spikes shooting out of my head like antennas.
And so I arrived at work looking worse than ever, hoping I would not meet anyone with a heart condition on my way to my desk.
- Yikes! What happened to you? Maria shouted (and of course this got everyone´s attention - I saw heads rising, amused smiles - thanks a lot, Maria!).
- I hate my hair, I said to her, - I really really hate my hair. The ultimate bad hair day in progress.
Maria tried not to smile, but wasn´t very successful. I heard someone laughing quietly nearby.
- You know - it´s all about the attitude they say. You can choose your attitude even about this, Maria said.
- Choose your attitude? What do you mean? With this? Choose your attitude indeed...
Good heavens that girl was a real Pollyanna...
- You at least have thick hair! You should be happy about it, Maria said.
I did not even answer that but tried to find anything I could use to tie my hair to a pony tail again. Maria didn´t seem to take the hint but just stood by my table.
- Ever heard of the story of this one woman…
I sighed. She was going to tell something to cheer me up and I wasn´t in a receptive mood for such wisdoms.
- No.
- Well, I don´t remember the exact words but one day there was this woman who was almost bald...
- Right, you mean I should cut my hair off now? Thanks a lot…
- No, silly! Maria laughed, - But one morning she looked in the mirror and noticed she only had three hairs. She smiled and said "Great! I think I shall braid my hair today". And she did. And she had a great day.
Maria handed me a ribbon from her own long hair (which of course as a result fell beautifully down her back).
- The next day she looked in the mirror and noticed she had only two hairs left. "Great!" she said, "I think I´ll part my hair down the middle today!" And she did and had a great day.
I did what I could to make my ponytail look decent, using an old comb I had in my drawer for emergencies.
- The next morning she looked in the mirror and noticed she had only one hair left. "Great!" she said, "I think I´ll wear my hair in a pony tail today" And she did and had a great day. And the morning after that she noticed she had no hair left at all. "Great!" she said, "I don´t have to fix my hair today!"
I opened my mouth to say something witty, but didn´t have time to do so before Maria handed me a leaflet.
- Actually I came here to ask if you would buy a ticket to this concert.
I looked at the leaflet. A fund-raising concert for the local children´s hospital cancer ward. A bald child looked me straight in the eye from it, smiling with dark circles under his eyes.
I felt the weight of my hair - now in a tight ponytail.
- I´d love to come, I said reaching for my purse.
I heard Maria´s words in my mind. "You can choose your attitude."
And suddenly my hair was just perfect.
________________________________________
We are often less than happy about our bodies. The hair, the nails, the nose, the weight... Always something to complain about.
It becomes a habit very quickly and soon the only thing we notice in the mirror is what annoys us.
But even in this you can choose your attitude.
How about you really had a look at yourself in the mirror and choose one thing you like about yourself. Be it the color of your eyes, your healthy skin or hair. And compliment yourself (in front of that mirror) about it.
It feels ackward at first, especially if you are used to mostly finding fault about your physique. But if you find that one thing you like, you win. Talk about it to yourself as long as it takes to reach a positive feeling.
And the next time you begin to blame your body for not being what you want, turn your thoughts again to that one good thing you found and praise it again in your mind until you reach that good feeling place again. Your mind can only focus on one thought at a time.
You literally choose your attitude about your body.
And why would you do this exercise? Simply because this way you don´t waste your time in negative thoughts. What would be more useless than that? If you have a healthy body, you should realize how lucky you are. It is one of the greatest blessings you can have in your life.
Most of us think that everyone else is looking at our bodies and finding faults with it. But you know what? Mostly that is not true - they are too busy finding fault in their own bodies to pay much attention to yours...
So go ahead, decide to choose your attitude about your body and start thinking what would be that one thing you like about it.
-------------------
Blessings!
Choose Your Attitude
or The Really Bad Bad Hair Day
- Choose your attitude? What do you mean?
I had a bad hair day. A Very Bad bad hair day.
I had gone to bathroom after waking up and almost screamed at the sight of the monster who seemed to live in the bathroom mirror. It had been there for years, looking mostly ghastly, but we got along. I wholeheartedly agreed that it was a blessing of nature my sight had gone worse during the years because I usually had a chance to slip into shower and only after that put on my glasses and look into the realm of the monster in the mirror. With my hair wet it usually looked ok and ready to be tamed.
Not so this morning. This morning the monster looked like it had suffered from severe electric shock. Einstein would have envied that hair. And of course this was the morning I had slept too long and had no time to shower.
I did all I could. I combed the hair. No effect. So I decided a pony tail was the answer. I used a lot of hair spray to glue my hair into a tight helmet. Nothing could escape a tight pony tail.
Or so I thought. Because when I ran to my car and drove to work I realized my whole pony tail had escaped. The rubber band I had used in haste had fallen somewhere. The hair was stiff from the hair spray and as it was a bit windy outside, the wind ruffled my hair into interesting spikes. I saw myself reflected in the glass doors of the office and the only thing that I could compare my head to was Sputnik. Or some other satellite - lots of spikes shooting out of my head like antennas.
And so I arrived at work looking worse than ever, hoping I would not meet anyone with a heart condition on my way to my desk.
- Yikes! What happened to you? Maria shouted (and of course this got everyone´s attention - I saw heads rising, amused smiles - thanks a lot, Maria!).
- I hate my hair, I said to her, - I really really hate my hair. The ultimate bad hair day in progress.
Maria tried not to smile, but wasn´t very successful. I heard someone laughing quietly nearby.
- You know - it´s all about the attitude they say. You can choose your attitude even about this, Maria said.
- Choose your attitude? What do you mean? With this? Choose your attitude indeed...
Good heavens that girl was a real Pollyanna...
- You at least have thick hair! You should be happy about it, Maria said.
I did not even answer that but tried to find anything I could use to tie my hair to a pony tail again. Maria didn´t seem to take the hint but just stood by my table.
- Ever heard of the story of this one woman…
I sighed. She was going to tell something to cheer me up and I wasn´t in a receptive mood for such wisdoms.
- No.
- Well, I don´t remember the exact words but one day there was this woman who was almost bald...
- Right, you mean I should cut my hair off now? Thanks a lot…
- No, silly! Maria laughed, - But one morning she looked in the mirror and noticed she only had three hairs. She smiled and said "Great! I think I shall braid my hair today". And she did. And she had a great day.
Maria handed me a ribbon from her own long hair (which of course as a result fell beautifully down her back).
- The next day she looked in the mirror and noticed she had only two hairs left. "Great!" she said, "I think I´ll part my hair down the middle today!" And she did and had a great day.
I did what I could to make my ponytail look decent, using an old comb I had in my drawer for emergencies.
- The next morning she looked in the mirror and noticed she had only one hair left. "Great!" she said, "I think I´ll wear my hair in a pony tail today" And she did and had a great day. And the morning after that she noticed she had no hair left at all. "Great!" she said, "I don´t have to fix my hair today!"
I opened my mouth to say something witty, but didn´t have time to do so before Maria handed me a leaflet.
- Actually I came here to ask if you would buy a ticket to this concert.
I looked at the leaflet. A fund-raising concert for the local children´s hospital cancer ward. A bald child looked me straight in the eye from it, smiling with dark circles under his eyes.
I felt the weight of my hair - now in a tight ponytail.
- I´d love to come, I said reaching for my purse.
I heard Maria´s words in my mind. "You can choose your attitude."
And suddenly my hair was just perfect.
________________________________________
We are often less than happy about our bodies. The hair, the nails, the nose, the weight... Always something to complain about.
It becomes a habit very quickly and soon the only thing we notice in the mirror is what annoys us.
But even in this you can choose your attitude.
How about you really had a look at yourself in the mirror and choose one thing you like about yourself. Be it the color of your eyes, your healthy skin or hair. And compliment yourself (in front of that mirror) about it.
It feels ackward at first, especially if you are used to mostly finding fault about your physique. But if you find that one thing you like, you win. Talk about it to yourself as long as it takes to reach a positive feeling.
And the next time you begin to blame your body for not being what you want, turn your thoughts again to that one good thing you found and praise it again in your mind until you reach that good feeling place again. Your mind can only focus on one thought at a time.
You literally choose your attitude about your body.
And why would you do this exercise? Simply because this way you don´t waste your time in negative thoughts. What would be more useless than that? If you have a healthy body, you should realize how lucky you are. It is one of the greatest blessings you can have in your life.
Most of us think that everyone else is looking at our bodies and finding faults with it. But you know what? Mostly that is not true - they are too busy finding fault in their own bodies to pay much attention to yours...
So go ahead, decide to choose your attitude about your body and start thinking what would be that one thing you like about it.
-------------------
Blessings!
Wednesday, June 18, 2014
Relationships.... you gotta work at them.
Been reading a book by John Maxwell, Winning with People.
It's an interesting and informative book, and today I read part of the chapter he titled 'The Gardening Principle'. In it he talks about six things that one needs to do in order to cultivate a relationship - rather it be a spouse, your family, siblings, people around you. As a rule, you want healthy relationships around you. But healthy relationships take work. They also take:
Commitment. The 'C' word. John Maxwell says that every long-lasting relationship suffers strains and setbacks. And no two people agree on everything. Even the best friendships can expect to face conflict. The question is, What are you going to do when trouble comes? How committed are you? Are you more dedicated to maintaining the relationship or to avoiding conflict? Your answer just might determine whether your relationship is lifelong or merely temporary.
Communication. The BIG 'C" word. Relationships begin with communication. Sometimes a spark easily ignites a friendship. It deepens with more communication. It is sustained with intentional communication. Author Sydney J. Harris belives that "it is impossible to learn anything important about anyone until we get him or her to disagree with us; it is only in contradiction that character is disclosed."
Friendship. Critic Samuel Johnson remarked, “If a man does not make new acquaintances as he advances through life, he will soon find himself left alone; a man, sir, should keep his friendship in a constant repair.” That goes for old friendships as well as new ones. I think we sometimes take for granted the people closest to us, and as a result, we neglect to try being good friends to them first.
Memories. Shared memories are a wonderful source of connection and bonding for people. When you see or talk to someone you haven't seen in many years, what helps you to reconnect almost instantly? It's the memories of your shared experiences.
Growth. When you begin any friendship, it is filled with promise. But you have to find ways to keep it fresh and strong so that it continues to have potential and not just good memories. One way to do that is to grow together.
Spoiling each other. You can't go wrong spoiling anyone - except perhaps your children. And even that is hard not to do. Try to extend small kindnesses to your friends all the time. Spoil your spouse. And don't forget the grandchildren! :-)
Let your friends and family members know how much you care as often as you can. Don't end up living with regrets when they are gone and you haven't told them.
So there you have it. Relationships. Some are really hard to maintain, and others are so easy. Sometimes you need to step away for awhile and see what made that relationship valuable to you - and is the relationship what you want it to be. Sometimes our perceptions are totally incorrect; things we thought and imagined, and believed, is just our emotions and imaginations going wild. Every relationship takes work - whether close or casual. Some relationships are just meant to be casual, and that is ok. Even siblings are not always close, although you want them to be. Each is different, as you are different.
My children and my grandchildren are always playing the "favorite" card. Little do they realize they are ALL my favorite. They all have a piece of my heart.
Do you need to do a little gardening?
Blessings!
It's an interesting and informative book, and today I read part of the chapter he titled 'The Gardening Principle'. In it he talks about six things that one needs to do in order to cultivate a relationship - rather it be a spouse, your family, siblings, people around you. As a rule, you want healthy relationships around you. But healthy relationships take work. They also take:
Commitment. The 'C' word. John Maxwell says that every long-lasting relationship suffers strains and setbacks. And no two people agree on everything. Even the best friendships can expect to face conflict. The question is, What are you going to do when trouble comes? How committed are you? Are you more dedicated to maintaining the relationship or to avoiding conflict? Your answer just might determine whether your relationship is lifelong or merely temporary.
Communication. The BIG 'C" word. Relationships begin with communication. Sometimes a spark easily ignites a friendship. It deepens with more communication. It is sustained with intentional communication. Author Sydney J. Harris belives that "it is impossible to learn anything important about anyone until we get him or her to disagree with us; it is only in contradiction that character is disclosed."
Friendship. Critic Samuel Johnson remarked, “If a man does not make new acquaintances as he advances through life, he will soon find himself left alone; a man, sir, should keep his friendship in a constant repair.” That goes for old friendships as well as new ones. I think we sometimes take for granted the people closest to us, and as a result, we neglect to try being good friends to them first.
Memories. Shared memories are a wonderful source of connection and bonding for people. When you see or talk to someone you haven't seen in many years, what helps you to reconnect almost instantly? It's the memories of your shared experiences.
Growth. When you begin any friendship, it is filled with promise. But you have to find ways to keep it fresh and strong so that it continues to have potential and not just good memories. One way to do that is to grow together.
Spoiling each other. You can't go wrong spoiling anyone - except perhaps your children. And even that is hard not to do. Try to extend small kindnesses to your friends all the time. Spoil your spouse. And don't forget the grandchildren! :-)
Let your friends and family members know how much you care as often as you can. Don't end up living with regrets when they are gone and you haven't told them.
So there you have it. Relationships. Some are really hard to maintain, and others are so easy. Sometimes you need to step away for awhile and see what made that relationship valuable to you - and is the relationship what you want it to be. Sometimes our perceptions are totally incorrect; things we thought and imagined, and believed, is just our emotions and imaginations going wild. Every relationship takes work - whether close or casual. Some relationships are just meant to be casual, and that is ok. Even siblings are not always close, although you want them to be. Each is different, as you are different.
My children and my grandchildren are always playing the "favorite" card. Little do they realize they are ALL my favorite. They all have a piece of my heart.
Do you need to do a little gardening?
Blessings!
Monday, June 16, 2014
Hadn't thought of it this way before.....
A message I heard this weekend took the scripture from Matthew 6:9-13 and focused on only two words. The first two words. But Pastor Todd Clark also made a statement which made me stop and think a bit. He said...
"The way you view your dad on earth affects how you view your Father in heaven." Huh.
As I have shared before, my father died when I was young - I turned 8 years old later that year. I don't remember much about my dad, except that he was sick a lot. My step-father was abusive - not only to me, but also to my other sisters. My view of my real father who died, and my step father who abused me, are totally different.
Matthew 6:9-13
"Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us today our daily bread. Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one."
Pastor Clark shared that we have five different types of fathers:
1. Absent (whether by death, divorce, job, hobbies, or was rarely around)
2. Abusive (physical, emotional, mental)
3. Passive (didn't do anything,didn't care about anything)
4. Performance (performance based - how good were you in anything you did)
5. Empowering (encourages, praises you, prays with you, believes in you)
Children view you and how you view God.
God is not a bigger version of your earthly father.
God is not a better version of your earthly father.
God is the perfect version of your earthly father!
ONLY our God is perfect.
God is not the REFLECTION of your earthly dad. He is the PERFECTION of our earthly dad. ~~ Andy Stanley
There are four types of Answered Prayers:
1. If the request is wrontg - God says "NO". He can do that. He is God.
2. If the timing is wrong - God says "SLOW". It feels worse than 'no'. This is like when you are looking for a job, or the timing is not right for something and God has something better than what you think you should have. Don't get impatient and take the first thing that comes along - only to find your day consumed by the job or it isn't what you wanted.
3. If you are wrong - God says "GROW". These are times you need to admit and confess to God. Unconfessed sins hinders God's answer to us.
4. If the reqeust is right, the timeing is right, and you are right - God says "GO". God loves to answer us and give us what we want when we ask Him.
What were your thoughts about Father's Day this year? All of us have a father, whether they were in our lives or not. And we all have a Heavenly Father who loves us beyond measure, who cares for us, and cares about us.
Hope your day was a good one - and today will be even better.
Blessings!
"The way you view your dad on earth affects how you view your Father in heaven." Huh.
As I have shared before, my father died when I was young - I turned 8 years old later that year. I don't remember much about my dad, except that he was sick a lot. My step-father was abusive - not only to me, but also to my other sisters. My view of my real father who died, and my step father who abused me, are totally different.
Matthew 6:9-13
"Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us today our daily bread. Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one."
Pastor Clark shared that we have five different types of fathers:
1. Absent (whether by death, divorce, job, hobbies, or was rarely around)
2. Abusive (physical, emotional, mental)
3. Passive (didn't do anything,didn't care about anything)
4. Performance (performance based - how good were you in anything you did)
5. Empowering (encourages, praises you, prays with you, believes in you)
Children view you and how you view God.
God is not a bigger version of your earthly father.
God is not a better version of your earthly father.
God is the perfect version of your earthly father!
ONLY our God is perfect.
God is not the REFLECTION of your earthly dad. He is the PERFECTION of our earthly dad. ~~ Andy Stanley
There are four types of Answered Prayers:
1. If the request is wrontg - God says "NO". He can do that. He is God.
2. If the timing is wrong - God says "SLOW". It feels worse than 'no'. This is like when you are looking for a job, or the timing is not right for something and God has something better than what you think you should have. Don't get impatient and take the first thing that comes along - only to find your day consumed by the job or it isn't what you wanted.
3. If you are wrong - God says "GROW". These are times you need to admit and confess to God. Unconfessed sins hinders God's answer to us.
4. If the reqeust is right, the timeing is right, and you are right - God says "GO". God loves to answer us and give us what we want when we ask Him.
What were your thoughts about Father's Day this year? All of us have a father, whether they were in our lives or not. And we all have a Heavenly Father who loves us beyond measure, who cares for us, and cares about us.
Hope your day was a good one - and today will be even better.
Blessings!
Thursday, June 12, 2014
Guess what day it is - Guess what day it is!!
No, it's not HUMP day - it's THURSDAY! And why am I excited about it being Thursday?
Because it is ICE CREAM DAY! Our 'Fun Committee' (of which I am a part of) designated today as Ice Cream Day and management is going to serve us ice cream this afternoon. And we will have all kinds of toppings and nuts to put on it. Whipped cream and cherries too.
But the part that is going to be the most fun, is the Ice Cream Contest. Oh yes, we have an Ice Cream Contest. Last year I declined to be a part of it for I wanted to see what was involved. When I saw one of our directors (who is on oxygen) remove her oxygen tube to participate, I knew that I was challenged to do it this year! She didn't win, but her face was in the ice cream enjoying it! Yes, it is without hands, and going at it full force with the mouth! I am participating this year and just wonder how far I can get before the 'ice cream brain freeze headache' sets in. All in all it will be a fun time - there are about 12 of us doing the contest. Life should be fun once in a while, don't you think?
It's like the Christian life. It's not always 'fun' - but it is always good. What I mean is, every one (usually) has a 'bad day' or a 'rough day' every now and then - whether you are a Christian or not. But the real deal is how do you react to it.
How do you react when things come against you? When you feel you are being mistreated. When life comes at you fast and hard and you just don't know what to do? How do you respond?
A non-Christian will usually 'attack' anyone close to them (or even a stranger for that matter) because all they can see is what they are going through. It's all about them.
But a Christian will run to God and put the matter before Him and wait upon His timing to resolve everything.
Sounds good, doesn't it? Do all Christians succeed in that? I have to probably say no. Some Christians may pray about it, and then attack. Recently I saw on the news about a pastor in California who has been arrested and charged with murder. I don't know the entire story, of course, but what I gathered was that he and his wife took a bunch of kids to Las Vegas (I don't know if they were passing through or what the deal was) and stopped at a restaurant. Supposedly some guy came up and tried to start a fight with the pastor. The pastor and his wife and the kids went into the restaurant - but then the pastor went back out and a fight started - and somehow the man fell, and I'm guessing hit his head. Six months later the man died and the pastor has now been charged with pre-meditated murder. Why did the pastor go back out? Why was there a fight? I have no idea. I'm just saying that even Christians can get caught up in things and unfortunately get involved in things they should run from.
The key thing is to run to God with any issues that come up and LEAVE IT WITH HIM. Don't carry that issue around with you so that you can use it against someone. Or take it out on someone. I know, sometimes that is hard to do. I can't tell you how many times I've given things to God, only to go over and over in my mind what the issue is about - especially if it is something done to me. I want to defend myself. I have to determine 'is it worth trying to defend myself?'. Usually it is best to not respond and just allow time to heal.
Because we have ONE who loves us unconditionally and is always available to us, it is a good day. It is always a good day. It is a fun day. It is a day to be lived.
There is a song that just popped into my mind that we used to sing a long time ago -
"Because He lives, I can face tomorrow,
Because He lives, all fear is gone.
Because I know WHO holds the future,
My life is worth the living, all because He lives."
So those times when you think your troubles have the best of you, remember there is ONE who holds your future, and because of that, you can Live.
"The Lord is with you even when things look like they are against you becauuse God is looking at where He is taking you, not where you are. Trust Him.
~~Tony Evans
Blessings!
Because it is ICE CREAM DAY! Our 'Fun Committee' (of which I am a part of) designated today as Ice Cream Day and management is going to serve us ice cream this afternoon. And we will have all kinds of toppings and nuts to put on it. Whipped cream and cherries too.
But the part that is going to be the most fun, is the Ice Cream Contest. Oh yes, we have an Ice Cream Contest. Last year I declined to be a part of it for I wanted to see what was involved. When I saw one of our directors (who is on oxygen) remove her oxygen tube to participate, I knew that I was challenged to do it this year! She didn't win, but her face was in the ice cream enjoying it! Yes, it is without hands, and going at it full force with the mouth! I am participating this year and just wonder how far I can get before the 'ice cream brain freeze headache' sets in. All in all it will be a fun time - there are about 12 of us doing the contest. Life should be fun once in a while, don't you think?
It's like the Christian life. It's not always 'fun' - but it is always good. What I mean is, every one (usually) has a 'bad day' or a 'rough day' every now and then - whether you are a Christian or not. But the real deal is how do you react to it.
How do you react when things come against you? When you feel you are being mistreated. When life comes at you fast and hard and you just don't know what to do? How do you respond?
A non-Christian will usually 'attack' anyone close to them (or even a stranger for that matter) because all they can see is what they are going through. It's all about them.
But a Christian will run to God and put the matter before Him and wait upon His timing to resolve everything.
Sounds good, doesn't it? Do all Christians succeed in that? I have to probably say no. Some Christians may pray about it, and then attack. Recently I saw on the news about a pastor in California who has been arrested and charged with murder. I don't know the entire story, of course, but what I gathered was that he and his wife took a bunch of kids to Las Vegas (I don't know if they were passing through or what the deal was) and stopped at a restaurant. Supposedly some guy came up and tried to start a fight with the pastor. The pastor and his wife and the kids went into the restaurant - but then the pastor went back out and a fight started - and somehow the man fell, and I'm guessing hit his head. Six months later the man died and the pastor has now been charged with pre-meditated murder. Why did the pastor go back out? Why was there a fight? I have no idea. I'm just saying that even Christians can get caught up in things and unfortunately get involved in things they should run from.
The key thing is to run to God with any issues that come up and LEAVE IT WITH HIM. Don't carry that issue around with you so that you can use it against someone. Or take it out on someone. I know, sometimes that is hard to do. I can't tell you how many times I've given things to God, only to go over and over in my mind what the issue is about - especially if it is something done to me. I want to defend myself. I have to determine 'is it worth trying to defend myself?'. Usually it is best to not respond and just allow time to heal.
Because we have ONE who loves us unconditionally and is always available to us, it is a good day. It is always a good day. It is a fun day. It is a day to be lived.
There is a song that just popped into my mind that we used to sing a long time ago -
"Because He lives, I can face tomorrow,
Because He lives, all fear is gone.
Because I know WHO holds the future,
My life is worth the living, all because He lives."
So those times when you think your troubles have the best of you, remember there is ONE who holds your future, and because of that, you can Live.
"The Lord is with you even when things look like they are against you becauuse God is looking at where He is taking you, not where you are. Trust Him.
~~Tony Evans
Blessings!
Sunday, June 8, 2014
I heard some things that made sense....
now that I have your attention, I will elaborate.
I went to church with my daughter last night. The message itself was on Communion. Now don't shut your ears and roll your eyes. Communion is a good thing.
I liked how Pastor Todd reminded us that we are valuable. And how do we determine the value of something?
"The value of an item is determined by the price a person is willing to pay."
In other words, applying it to people, "The value of a person is determined by how much another person is willing to pay." We are extremely valuable. Why? Because God determined our value when He gave up His one and only Son, Jesus, to die on the cross for us.
Jesus let go of heaven so that He could grab hold of us. That thought alone is pretty awesome, don't you think?
Another point was to remember that we are forgiven. How many times do we have to forgive others - whether they ask for forgiveness or not - and let it go so that we don't become bitter and critical and full of ourselves? When we put our eyes on other people's past or their faults, we take our eyes off Jesus.
Pastor Perry Noble has said, "Forgiven people forgive people."
"Based on the Word of God, nothing you have done or are doing now, is too great for the cross to forgive." Those are pretty powerful words.
and lastly,
Remember Jesus is returning. We don't know when, but we know He is.
Someone asked "If God is a good God, would He allow someone to go to hell?
The answer is 'No'. God will not 'allow' someone to go to hell, but it is your choice to do so if you choose not to follow Him and accept Jesus as Lord of your life.
God loves you so much that He gave His one and only Son to die on the cross for you. Regardless of what you have done, or are doing, Jesus died for you. and for me. Because He lives, I can face tomorrow.
What do you choose?
The choice is yours.
Have a blessed Sunday!
Blessings!
I went to church with my daughter last night. The message itself was on Communion. Now don't shut your ears and roll your eyes. Communion is a good thing.
I liked how Pastor Todd reminded us that we are valuable. And how do we determine the value of something?
"The value of an item is determined by the price a person is willing to pay."
In other words, applying it to people, "The value of a person is determined by how much another person is willing to pay." We are extremely valuable. Why? Because God determined our value when He gave up His one and only Son, Jesus, to die on the cross for us.
Jesus let go of heaven so that He could grab hold of us. That thought alone is pretty awesome, don't you think?
Another point was to remember that we are forgiven. How many times do we have to forgive others - whether they ask for forgiveness or not - and let it go so that we don't become bitter and critical and full of ourselves? When we put our eyes on other people's past or their faults, we take our eyes off Jesus.
Pastor Perry Noble has said, "Forgiven people forgive people."
"Based on the Word of God, nothing you have done or are doing now, is too great for the cross to forgive." Those are pretty powerful words.
and lastly,
Remember Jesus is returning. We don't know when, but we know He is.
Someone asked "If God is a good God, would He allow someone to go to hell?
The answer is 'No'. God will not 'allow' someone to go to hell, but it is your choice to do so if you choose not to follow Him and accept Jesus as Lord of your life.
God loves you so much that He gave His one and only Son to die on the cross for you. Regardless of what you have done, or are doing, Jesus died for you. and for me. Because He lives, I can face tomorrow.
What do you choose?
The choice is yours.
Have a blessed Sunday!
Blessings!
Thursday, June 5, 2014
Thinking of God's goodness.....
Ok, I am going to revert back to a personal story, which I have probably shared before. It tells of God's faithfulness of goodness and love.
Yesterday was one of my beautiful granddaughters' birthday. Her 18th. I can't believe she is that age already! Anyway, this story is about her birth, 18 years ago. I guess I had forgotten it - afterall, one doesn't stop to think about everything all the time, correct? But this morning I was thinking of her and how much I love her. And her story came back to me. And again I thanked God and praised Him for her.
Eighteen years (and one day) ago, my very impatient to deliver daughter went to the hospital at midnight to begin the process to be induced to deliver. Wait for God to set the time? No, not her, she has to do it 'her way and in her time'. Well, it WAS time as it was the due date, I believe, but still......
Since hubby and I did not want to just sit at the hospital with nothing going on, we decided to stay at home and asked them to call us when it was getting close. We went to bed that evening thinking we might get a phone call during the night.
About 2-3AM (I can't remember the time now), I was awakened with the immediate thought that I needed to pray for my daughter and the new baby. Not hearing anything I just thought I needed to pray a covering over them. So that is what I did. I prayed for calmness, prayed for a good and safe delivery, that our new baby will be perfect and healthy and that the delivery would go well for our daughter and all would be well.
Little did I know how God was going to answer that prayer.
When we finally arose early the next morning, we found we had received a call but had not heard the phone. I can't remember now if we called our son-in-law to get the status or not, but we quickly dressed and headed to the hospital. Our new granddaughter hadn't arrived, but did appear a short time later and we were able to be there.
As I sat and held our beautiful little granddaughter shortly after she was born and daddy gave her up to me, I remembered my prayer for her during the night. I commented to my daughter of being awakened during the early morning hours and my prayer for her and my granddaughter.
My daughter's eyes filled with tears of joy and wonderment. "Mom", she said, "what time was that?" I told her around what time it was (I remembered then). She then tells me what we didn't know before. It was around that time that there appeared to be some complications with our little baby - her heart rate dropped. The nurses had run in and pushed on my daughter's stomach, trying to get the heart rate up. They were considering a stat c-section.
Then things calmed down and the heart rate came up and stablized. The induction proceeded as it should, with our little one making her appearance after our arrival at the hospital.
Do I believe God intervened at that moment? I do with all my heart. He blessed me by allowing me to be a part of bringing life into the world by waking me to pray for her. He created our little princess in her mother's womb. He developed her. He delivered her and brought her into this world. He was gracious and let me pray life over her. God is good. Our princess was His before she was even born. And she is His now.
I am sure I got times wrong, and maybe even a little bit of the "story".... afterall, it was 18 years ago and I'm trying to go from memory, and my memory isn't that good anymore. But the story is the same. It never changes.
God loves us, He created us, and He gives us life. All praise, honor and glory is His alone.
Blessings!
Yesterday was one of my beautiful granddaughters' birthday. Her 18th. I can't believe she is that age already! Anyway, this story is about her birth, 18 years ago. I guess I had forgotten it - afterall, one doesn't stop to think about everything all the time, correct? But this morning I was thinking of her and how much I love her. And her story came back to me. And again I thanked God and praised Him for her.
Eighteen years (and one day) ago, my very impatient to deliver daughter went to the hospital at midnight to begin the process to be induced to deliver. Wait for God to set the time? No, not her, she has to do it 'her way and in her time'. Well, it WAS time as it was the due date, I believe, but still......
Since hubby and I did not want to just sit at the hospital with nothing going on, we decided to stay at home and asked them to call us when it was getting close. We went to bed that evening thinking we might get a phone call during the night.
About 2-3AM (I can't remember the time now), I was awakened with the immediate thought that I needed to pray for my daughter and the new baby. Not hearing anything I just thought I needed to pray a covering over them. So that is what I did. I prayed for calmness, prayed for a good and safe delivery, that our new baby will be perfect and healthy and that the delivery would go well for our daughter and all would be well.
Little did I know how God was going to answer that prayer.
When we finally arose early the next morning, we found we had received a call but had not heard the phone. I can't remember now if we called our son-in-law to get the status or not, but we quickly dressed and headed to the hospital. Our new granddaughter hadn't arrived, but did appear a short time later and we were able to be there.
As I sat and held our beautiful little granddaughter shortly after she was born and daddy gave her up to me, I remembered my prayer for her during the night. I commented to my daughter of being awakened during the early morning hours and my prayer for her and my granddaughter.
My daughter's eyes filled with tears of joy and wonderment. "Mom", she said, "what time was that?" I told her around what time it was (I remembered then). She then tells me what we didn't know before. It was around that time that there appeared to be some complications with our little baby - her heart rate dropped. The nurses had run in and pushed on my daughter's stomach, trying to get the heart rate up. They were considering a stat c-section.
Then things calmed down and the heart rate came up and stablized. The induction proceeded as it should, with our little one making her appearance after our arrival at the hospital.
Do I believe God intervened at that moment? I do with all my heart. He blessed me by allowing me to be a part of bringing life into the world by waking me to pray for her. He created our little princess in her mother's womb. He developed her. He delivered her and brought her into this world. He was gracious and let me pray life over her. God is good. Our princess was His before she was even born. And she is His now.
I am sure I got times wrong, and maybe even a little bit of the "story".... afterall, it was 18 years ago and I'm trying to go from memory, and my memory isn't that good anymore. But the story is the same. It never changes.
God loves us, He created us, and He gives us life. All praise, honor and glory is His alone.
Blessings!
Wednesday, June 4, 2014
Are You Approachable?
I read a book recently that had this section in it about approachability:
Years ago there was a piece called “The Art of Getting Along,” which stated,
Sooner or later, a man, if he is wise, discovers that life is a mixture of good days and bad, victory and defeat, give and take. He learns that it doesn’t pay to be a too-sensitive soul, that he should let some things go over his head like water off a duck’s back. He learns that he who loses his temper usually loses out, that all men have burnt toast for breakfast now and then, and that he shouldn’t take the other fellow’s grouch too seriously.
He learns that carrying a chip on his shoulder is the easiest way to get into trouble, that the quickest way to become unpopular is to carry tales of gossip about others, that buck-passing always turns out to be a boomerang, that it doesn’t matter so much who gets the credit so long as the job gets done.
He learns that most others are as ambitious as he is, that they have brains as good or better, that hard work, not cleverness, is the secret of success. He learns that no man ever gets to first base alone, and that it is only through cooperative effort that we move on to better things.
He realizes (in short) that the “art of getting along” depends about 98 percent on his own behavior toward others.
If you want to make yourself agreeable and approachable to others, then you need to put them at ease. The book then went on to share how to make yourself approachable.
But then, I guess the real question is - do you WANT to be approachable? I would think we all do, to some extent. True, there are some people we wish would stay away from us - but there are many others that we like to be around. It doesn't matter where you are, or what you are doing - we all have people in our lives that we have to look at how to approach them.
There are some that always walk around with a chip on their shoulder so you have to be careful what you say to them, and how you say it, or they will explode on you.
There are some that are huggers who just love everyone and gives everyone a hug - the 'chip on the shoulder' ones as well.
Then there are some that are standoffish, distancing themselves from everyone. I think they have the least amount of fun. I mean, what fun is it if you just show up and don't participate in anything? B-O-R-I-N-G.
We all have good days and bad days, days in which we succeed at all our tasks for that day - and days that we don't quite make the grade. What is important is what effort we put into that day.
Do we try to keep focused and keep going - or do we slack off and let things fall where they may? Some of us can't do that. I have one son who delivers parts to different locations throughout the valley. He also has to load his truck each morning before he leaves. If he just threw the parts onto the truck in any manner, if he just grabbed some things here and there and didn't keep things organized so he not only knew where they were, but that they were in one piece, his job would not last long. He has to make sure each part gets delivered timely to specific locations in good condition. He can't say, 'Oh, I forgot that one, will get it next time if I remember', or he wouldn't have a job for long. He is depended up on to complete the task assigned to him.
And although it may be hot and sticky out, he knows that he needs to maintain a good attitude when he delivers these parts. It's his job. And he has learned to do it well. It doesn't matter if he has had a bad morning, or having a bad day. He has to determine if he will let that control the rest of his day or will he rise about it.
We all have been around people with a 'chip on their shoulder' and usually start to back off from them because we don't want to set them off. Until we have had enough then we give them a chip off of our shoulder!
One thing I have discovered over the years - be careful, very careful, about giving someone a 'piece of your mind'. I've discovered I can't afford to lose any of my mind. It isn't easy to end a disagreement by not responding. But sometimes that is what you need to do.
So for today - think about how you get along with others. Do you go around with a chip on your shoulder? Do you blame others for your attitude? Do you complain and whine about how you are this way because you have always been this way? Then stop it. Determine that your behavior will be a positive influence - not only for others - but for yourself. You will find that when you think positive thoughts, it soon will be a natural decision to have a good, approachable behavior.
Have a great hump day!
Blessings!
Years ago there was a piece called “The Art of Getting Along,” which stated,
Sooner or later, a man, if he is wise, discovers that life is a mixture of good days and bad, victory and defeat, give and take. He learns that it doesn’t pay to be a too-sensitive soul, that he should let some things go over his head like water off a duck’s back. He learns that he who loses his temper usually loses out, that all men have burnt toast for breakfast now and then, and that he shouldn’t take the other fellow’s grouch too seriously.
He learns that carrying a chip on his shoulder is the easiest way to get into trouble, that the quickest way to become unpopular is to carry tales of gossip about others, that buck-passing always turns out to be a boomerang, that it doesn’t matter so much who gets the credit so long as the job gets done.
He learns that most others are as ambitious as he is, that they have brains as good or better, that hard work, not cleverness, is the secret of success. He learns that no man ever gets to first base alone, and that it is only through cooperative effort that we move on to better things.
He realizes (in short) that the “art of getting along” depends about 98 percent on his own behavior toward others.
If you want to make yourself agreeable and approachable to others, then you need to put them at ease. The book then went on to share how to make yourself approachable.
But then, I guess the real question is - do you WANT to be approachable? I would think we all do, to some extent. True, there are some people we wish would stay away from us - but there are many others that we like to be around. It doesn't matter where you are, or what you are doing - we all have people in our lives that we have to look at how to approach them.
There are some that always walk around with a chip on their shoulder so you have to be careful what you say to them, and how you say it, or they will explode on you.
There are some that are huggers who just love everyone and gives everyone a hug - the 'chip on the shoulder' ones as well.
Then there are some that are standoffish, distancing themselves from everyone. I think they have the least amount of fun. I mean, what fun is it if you just show up and don't participate in anything? B-O-R-I-N-G.
We all have good days and bad days, days in which we succeed at all our tasks for that day - and days that we don't quite make the grade. What is important is what effort we put into that day.
Do we try to keep focused and keep going - or do we slack off and let things fall where they may? Some of us can't do that. I have one son who delivers parts to different locations throughout the valley. He also has to load his truck each morning before he leaves. If he just threw the parts onto the truck in any manner, if he just grabbed some things here and there and didn't keep things organized so he not only knew where they were, but that they were in one piece, his job would not last long. He has to make sure each part gets delivered timely to specific locations in good condition. He can't say, 'Oh, I forgot that one, will get it next time if I remember', or he wouldn't have a job for long. He is depended up on to complete the task assigned to him.
And although it may be hot and sticky out, he knows that he needs to maintain a good attitude when he delivers these parts. It's his job. And he has learned to do it well. It doesn't matter if he has had a bad morning, or having a bad day. He has to determine if he will let that control the rest of his day or will he rise about it.
We all have been around people with a 'chip on their shoulder' and usually start to back off from them because we don't want to set them off. Until we have had enough then we give them a chip off of our shoulder!
One thing I have discovered over the years - be careful, very careful, about giving someone a 'piece of your mind'. I've discovered I can't afford to lose any of my mind. It isn't easy to end a disagreement by not responding. But sometimes that is what you need to do.
So for today - think about how you get along with others. Do you go around with a chip on your shoulder? Do you blame others for your attitude? Do you complain and whine about how you are this way because you have always been this way? Then stop it. Determine that your behavior will be a positive influence - not only for others - but for yourself. You will find that when you think positive thoughts, it soon will be a natural decision to have a good, approachable behavior.
Have a great hump day!
Blessings!
Monday, June 2, 2014
Attitude Living
Attitude living, like attitude flying, says "my attitude dictates my performance." That "canopy" represents a lot of ground to cover in one book. We'll need to examine:
What is an attitude, and why is it important?
What are the necessary ingredients for a high-performance attitude? What causes an attitude to become negative, disappointing? How can a wrong attitude that is working against us be turned around to work for us?
Hardly a day passes without the word "attitude" entering a conversation. It may be used as a complaint or a compliment. It could mean the difference between a promotion or a demotion. Sometimes we sense it, other times we see it. Yet, it is difficult to explain.
The attitude is an inward feeling expressed by behavior.
that is why an attitude can be seen without a word being said. Haven't we all noticed "the pout" of the sulker, or "the jutted jaw" of the determined? Of all the things we wear, our expression is the most important.
The Bible teaches us "....God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart (I Samuel 16:7). "The heart is more deceitful than all else and is desperately sick; who can understand it?" (Jeremiah 17:9). These statements express our inability to know for sure what emotions are going on inside someone else. Yet, while we refrain from judging others by their outward expressions, many times the outward actions becomes a "window to the soul." A person who gives "a look that kills," probably is not inwarding singing "Something Good is Going to Happen to You."
Since an attitude often is expressed by our body language and by the looks on our faces, it can be contagious. Have you noticed what happens to a group of people when one person, by his expression, reveals a negative attitude? Or have you noticed the lift you receive when a friend's facial expression shows love and acceptance?
David's music and presence encouraged a troubled King Saul. Scripture tells us "the Spirit of the Lord departed from Saul, and an evil spirit from the Lord terrorized him" (I Samuel 16:14). The king's men were told to find someone who could lift their ruler's spirit. They brought David into the palace and "Saul loved him greatly."
Sometimes the attitude can be masked outwardly, and others who see us are fooled. But usually the cover-ups will not last long. There is that constant struggle as the attitude tries to wiggle its way out.
The simplicity of "Trust and Obey," that great hymn of James H. Sammis, points to the importance of our obedient attitude to our spiritual growth.
"While we walk with the Lord in the light of His Word,
What a glory He sheds on our way!
While we do His good will, He abides with us still,
And with those who will trust and obey.
Trust and obey for there's no other way,
To be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey."
Not to say my mother was perfect by any means, as none of us are, but this was one of her favority hymns and I can still hear her singing it.
Whatever Jesus says to you, do it, even though....
1. You are not in the "right place".
2. You have a lot of problems.
3. You are not encouraged.
4. You have not walked with Him very long.
5. You have not seen Him work miracles in your life.
6. You don't understand the entire process.
A hardened attitude is a dreaded disease. It causes a closed mind and a dark future. When the attitude is positive and conducive to growth, the mind expands and the progress beings.
"Do you feel the world is treating you well? If your attitude toward the world is excellent, you will receive excellent results. If you feel so-so about the world, your response from that world will be average. Feel badly about your world, and you will seem to have only negative feedback from life." ~~ John Maxwell.
Couldn't think of anything to write about this morning so thought we all could use an attitude adjustment in some way. John Maxwell provides just that. Hope that you have a good, positive attitude today!
Blessings!
What is an attitude, and why is it important?
What are the necessary ingredients for a high-performance attitude? What causes an attitude to become negative, disappointing? How can a wrong attitude that is working against us be turned around to work for us?
Hardly a day passes without the word "attitude" entering a conversation. It may be used as a complaint or a compliment. It could mean the difference between a promotion or a demotion. Sometimes we sense it, other times we see it. Yet, it is difficult to explain.
The attitude is an inward feeling expressed by behavior.
that is why an attitude can be seen without a word being said. Haven't we all noticed "the pout" of the sulker, or "the jutted jaw" of the determined? Of all the things we wear, our expression is the most important.
The Bible teaches us "....God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart (I Samuel 16:7). "The heart is more deceitful than all else and is desperately sick; who can understand it?" (Jeremiah 17:9). These statements express our inability to know for sure what emotions are going on inside someone else. Yet, while we refrain from judging others by their outward expressions, many times the outward actions becomes a "window to the soul." A person who gives "a look that kills," probably is not inwarding singing "Something Good is Going to Happen to You."
Since an attitude often is expressed by our body language and by the looks on our faces, it can be contagious. Have you noticed what happens to a group of people when one person, by his expression, reveals a negative attitude? Or have you noticed the lift you receive when a friend's facial expression shows love and acceptance?
David's music and presence encouraged a troubled King Saul. Scripture tells us "the Spirit of the Lord departed from Saul, and an evil spirit from the Lord terrorized him" (I Samuel 16:14). The king's men were told to find someone who could lift their ruler's spirit. They brought David into the palace and "Saul loved him greatly."
Sometimes the attitude can be masked outwardly, and others who see us are fooled. But usually the cover-ups will not last long. There is that constant struggle as the attitude tries to wiggle its way out.
The simplicity of "Trust and Obey," that great hymn of James H. Sammis, points to the importance of our obedient attitude to our spiritual growth.
"While we walk with the Lord in the light of His Word,
What a glory He sheds on our way!
While we do His good will, He abides with us still,
And with those who will trust and obey.
Trust and obey for there's no other way,
To be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey."
Not to say my mother was perfect by any means, as none of us are, but this was one of her favority hymns and I can still hear her singing it.
Whatever Jesus says to you, do it, even though....
1. You are not in the "right place".
2. You have a lot of problems.
3. You are not encouraged.
4. You have not walked with Him very long.
5. You have not seen Him work miracles in your life.
6. You don't understand the entire process.
A hardened attitude is a dreaded disease. It causes a closed mind and a dark future. When the attitude is positive and conducive to growth, the mind expands and the progress beings.
"Do you feel the world is treating you well? If your attitude toward the world is excellent, you will receive excellent results. If you feel so-so about the world, your response from that world will be average. Feel badly about your world, and you will seem to have only negative feedback from life." ~~ John Maxwell.
Couldn't think of anything to write about this morning so thought we all could use an attitude adjustment in some way. John Maxwell provides just that. Hope that you have a good, positive attitude today!
Blessings!
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