How much are you willing to give in relationships?

I read an article this morning about Seabiscuit, the great horse that took the world by storm back in the 1930's, I believe it was.

Hillenbrand describes the horse this way:

The colt’s body, built low to the ground, had all the properties of a cinder block…..His stubby legs were a study in unsound construction….Thanks to his unfortunate assembly, his walk was an odd, straddle-legged motion that was often mistaken for lameness….His gallop was so disorganized that he had a maddening tendency to whack himself in the front ankle with his own hind hoof…All of this raggedness was not helped by his racing schedule….Though only three years old, he had already run forty-three races, far more than most horses contest in their entire careers.

What looked to others like an incorrigible nag became one of the world's most famous racehorses. But it took three men that were very different to work together for it to happen. A millionaire, a frontiersman, and a prizefighter. These three men, though so very different, did not focus on their differences, but on what they had in common. Making Seabiscuit a champion.

They had to be willing to find the 1 percent they agreed on and give it 100 percent of their effort. John Maxwell puts it this way, "If two men on the same job agree all the time, then one is useless. If they disagree all the time, then both are useless." So the question you need to ask yourself is, "Can I find common ground, and will I give it 100 percent of my effort?"

Mr. Maxwell goes on to say...."Sometimes building relationships is an uphill battle, and connecting with another person can be particularly difficult. How do you connect with people when you seem to have nothing in common with them? Can you build relationship bridges in such circumstances? And, if so, can the relationships be healthy, long-lasting, and productive? These are legitimate questions. Let’s face it. When you see no common ground with another person, it’s going to be a challenge to connect. So how do you do it?

The answer can be found in the 101 Percent Principle. When connection is difficult, you must find the one thing the two of you can agree upon. You can do that with just about anybody. The problem is that many people naturally take the opposite approach; they look for differences. Why? Sometimes it’s due to natural competitiveness; people are often looking for an edge. Sometimes it’s to make themselves stand out, to find their own distinctiveness. Other times people focus on differences because they feel threatened by others.

Instead, to make a connection, people need to reach common ground. Most people have many things in common. But even the oddest couple can find something they agree on. Once they do, they need to give it 100 percent of their effort. The greater the differences, the more important it is to focus on what they agree on – and the greater the effort they need to give it. That’s not always easy, but the benefits can be remarkably rewarding."

I think of relationships within my own world. Right now some are healthy and some are not. Ok, I've had to erase three times what I've written so guess I need not say any more. I don't write to offend others, and my prayer is always that their (and mine) eyes will be opened to see themselves as others see them.

In thinking about Seabiscuit, he won because others were willing to move past their differences to help this horse succeed. In relationships, are we willing to move past our differences to help others succeed? Interesting thought, don't you think? Sometimes we hold disagreements, thoughts, opinions against others and use against them. Sometimes it is better to move past that. Ok - still erasing so can't put what I'm thinking.

So with that - this is kind of confusing today - but think about those in your life and how you can work together instead of finding fault in your differences. Build on the common ground.

Blessings!