Buried yet breathing

 It was a crazy busy day yesterday with scheduling meetings, creating contracts, and sending emails - and that was with just my people.  Mainly the one who keeps me the most busy.  Yeah, he's back from a few days off.  No, I didn't get everything done before I stopped at 4PM.  I have a life, and although work does take the majority of it, nothing was pressing enough that I needed to work later.  I was tired at 4PM, though, but went on to fix chicken and green beans for dinner.  

Hubby actually left the TV off last night and didn't even ask if I wanted to watch a movie!  Grateful. I needed the quiet to just be quiet.  Does that make sense?  I did crochet a couple rows on the baby blanket I am working on. I tried to read, and I think I did read a chapter, but just couldn't focus on it so quit. It was a nice quiet evening, and I think I needed that.  I didn't have training last night and I didn't go to the gym either.  I need to stay focused on keeping my body strong and healthy.

I had a really weird dream last night and I keep pushing it out of my mind as it makes no sense to me and was really weird.  At one point, I was being carried on a flat round surface (I was sitting on it) by a pastor friend that I know.  I didn't want to be on it and kept trying to get off... but he carried me to a destination, and I was allowed to get off.  I have no idea where I was taken nor why, and I woke up from this deep sleep I was in.  It was such a weird dream that I prayed that God would remove it from my mind. And He has, but that one part still lingers... and I am going to believe that God brought to the mind of this pastor/friend that I needed prayer, and he was interceding for me (carrying me) to our Father.  Sometimes being prayed for, or prayed over, is very humbling and I usually end up in tears when it has happened in the past.  It was just a strange dream.

During the day yesterday, because hubby was gone to the eye doctor, I took a short break here and there from work.  I put my sewing machine away.  It has sat there for three years and hasn't been used... some day when I have time, I really want to sew.  My quilts I would rather sew by hand and have three already laid out to put together.  I need to lay aside my crochet and work on these quilts for I hope to make them Christmas gifts. And it is a very slow process when I stitch them all by hand.  But it is the personal touch that I want to give. I pray over the quilts as I sew them, to cover those it is for in prayer as well.  I've given each of my children king-size quilts that I have hand-sewed together.  They aren't perfect by any means, but I did it in love. I hope they mean as much to them as they did to me to make them.  

Some time ago I found the same pattern of a quilt I had given to my oldest son and his wife a few years ago and I bought a small amount.  My thought is to make the same pattern quilt for our great-granddaughter.  I do have big dreams of completing it by Christmas..... but if I start on the one I want to do first, it may be another Christmas.  Just thinking aloud here.   I have big dreams of completing all these projects..... and continue to work my best... sigh.

Anyway - after I put the sewing machine away, I moved the table to the exercise room and put a computer monitor on it that I have.  Thought maybe I could bring up my exercise videos and could work on them... in my spare time, of course.  Sigh.  Like I said, I have big dreams..... Why couldn't I just normally be slender and beautiful - but it is such hard work!  I love food, that's my problem, I think. 

Tonight is a grandson's last band concert so I plan to head over that way after work, and yes, I remember that it starts at 6PM instead of 7PM.  This grandson had prom recently and the photos I saw I could hardly recognize him - he was actually smiling!  Big!  Of course he was with his girlfriend, why wouldn't he be smiling. LOL  He sure is a cutie!  Yes, I said that.  He's my grandson and he's a cutie!

Ephesians 4:29-30 (NKJV):  Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary for edification, that it will impart grace to the hearers. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, for whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.  Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.

That one is sometimes a hard one to follow, isn't it?  Yeah, even I stumble on that one, as you well know.  Even though I may not say things, I may have thought them, which is about the same. I may not need to go to someone and say 'please forgive me for....' because I didn't speak the words to them, but I do need (and have) to go to my heavenly Father and ask His forgiveness for allowing the thoughts to linger in my mind instead of casting them out.  We all know how we as people can be caught up in the worldly emotions; some more than others. Some people are so desperate for affirmation that they will pull up things from the past so that they can get people to 'like' them.  They don't realize that people will like them for who they are..... if they would just be themselves and quit having every sickness that comes around or know of someone who does.  

Life isn't always about us, but who we are portrays who Christ is in us.  Let that thought sink in. I spend a lot of time praying for forgiveness because I always feel I have failed in so many ways.  I can blame my life (sometimes) on my past, never being shown a good example so I didn't know .... but Jesus, He has shown me the right way, and has shown me that it is the way to walk.  I shudder to think what my life would be like if He had not taken all my mistakes and failures and STILL drew me close to Him and walks with me in this journey of life.

And He does that for you as well.  Even though you may feel you have slipped away and He doesn't care, that is a lie from the devil.  Jesus loves you even more than a mother could, a grandmother could. I am sure my grandmother prayed for me, and that is what brought me to Him.  So I pray for my children and grandchildren - and even my great-grandchildren, and those that are not yet born - that they will be filled with the knowledge of the Lord and will come to love Him even more than I do. That they will walk in His ways, and not their own. How I wish I could help them to see this world is not their home, it is not their final place, that Jesus has prepared mansions for them in heaven and is walking with them and waiting for them, to turn to Him for guidance and direction. Glory to His name!

Though at times I fail, when I run back to my Master and seek His face and not my own, He gathers me in to His arms and forgives, loves, and helps me get on the right path once again.  And He will do that for you as well.  Just ask Him.  Don't think you are too busy to take the time.  You had time to read this. Sit back and close your eyes, and turn your thoughts to the One who knows all.  He loves you beyond measure. 

Blessings!

Coverage week starting....

 I am facing this week with a lot of apprehension.  Today I start covering for my friend who is out for back surgery.  It actually got moved from Wednesday to next Saturday morning, but she opted to go ahead and take this week off as she is in so much pain.  I haven't gotten around to read what 'again scoliosis is, but add in they found she had fractured a vertebrae, I am sure she is n a lot of pain.  She says she will be jumping online about once a week to check on things.  I'm hoping I won't have to do much for her 8 doctors.  My people keep me busy enough.  And I have a bit of a headache this morning to start with. Oh well.  

Church message was good yesterday; Pastor Mike spoke (our worship pastor) and he shared about being in the Presence of God and just worshipping.  So many times we run to God with our problems or requests, but don't spend time worshipping.  Just sit at His feet and worship.  As you know, I love to do that, but just never have the time to do what I want to do.  I still can't figure out how when I was going to college, teaching classes at church and taking classes, how in the world did I find time to spend an entire day just worshiping and praying and praising God.  I'm lucky to get a few hours in here most weekends!  Have I lost time in that 24 hour time span?  I still can't figure out how I did it.     

But I really wish I could capture that time again.  Has the hurt and pain I've experienced from others' words and actions dulled my 'want to'?  Perhaps.  I was thinking yesterday during church, as the message was being spoken, how unworthy I feel to seek the One who knows all and yet, still loves me.  My mind always goes back to 2013 when my little sister lashed in to me and said things that robbed my breath. Cut to the quick, even though I have forgiven her (and received other words from her since!) she has never acknowledged what she did to me was wrong.  But I know what it did to me.  I have been fighting to get back what she took from me ever since.  It's hard to explain.  I love my little sister and there isn't anything I wouldn't do for her.  But that is what I thought about during the message. And I realize I need to quit thinking about it; I need to quit giving her words control over me.  And it's going to stop.  I just need to figure out how I can spend quality time with Jesus.  He will guide me where He wants me.

Many times things happen that devastate us, like what I briefly touched on (again) above.  But it is what we do with that devastation that makes the difference.  I've survived from it.  Broken-hearted, to be sure, but my Bible says that Jesus is near to the broken-hearted, so I know that He is near me.  Have I allowed my pain, my busyness, and other things, to get between my time of worship and intercession?  I wonder.  I find myself for some time now, writing in here every day, instead of whenever I had something to share. But what if I missed?  What if I went a week without writing and then only wrote occasionally.  I could gain back 45-60 minutes every morning if I stopped. Is it really that important?

Ah... but I write because it allows me to share my life.  It was a saying in the Jennifer Lopez and Richard Gere movie "Shall we dance" that I often think about.  Susan Sarandon was married to Richard Gere in the movie and she hired the private investigator... blah blah (don't want to give the movie away if you haven' seen it)... and she said these words in the movie.....

"We need a witness to our lives. There's a billion people on the planet...I mean, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you are promising to care about everything. The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things.... all of it, all of the time, every day.  You're saying 'Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go un-witnessed, because I will be your witness."

Yes, that little blurb got my attention.  And yes, she's talking about marriage and the witness you are to each other.  But this blog shares my life and shows that 'I lived' and you are my witness. 

But an ever greater witness to our lives is Jesus Christ.  He is the author and perfector of our faith. He is our Restorer of broken dreams, our Hope when all feels lost.  He is our Healer, our Strength when we are weak, He keeps us going day after day, because He loves us so much.  He is the only One in whom to lean.  He is the only One who matters.

Why not have some time with Jesus this morning, and lavish your love upon Him?  

Blessings!

A busy day; a nice evening

 I told hubby yesterday I really wanted to be productive and start cleaning out drawers and eventually getting my closet.  BUT, first, I wanted to bake a couple batches of my cranberry pumpkin nut bread.  I like having it on hand so that I can give it away.  Unfortunately, after I took the last out of the oven, it cooled, and I got all the dishes done (4 hours later), I went in and sat on the couch and told hubby I needed a short nap.  (I baked 3 big loaves, 2 small loaves,  12 as 'donuts' using my donut pan, and 6 large muffins and a dozen small muffins.)  'We' ended up sleeping 45-60 minutes (I would wake up ever ten minutes and look over at hubby still asleep and figured I could sleep more - and did).

Decided it was too late to start on drawers.  Hubby had gone in to his closet and started cleaning it out (see, I told you before, whatever I start, he has to do it too).  He pulled out about 2 dozen (no, I don't think I am exaggerating) pairs of slacks/jeans that he tried on and said he couldn't wear anymore.   I'm not as likely to let go of as much for myself.  I read recently that some nursing homes have people who have no one visiting them, and they may only have two-three changes of clothes.  So I thought I'd check around and see where these can be used the most effectively.  I thought about donating to the Salvation Army, but my friend Melonie was telling me about a thrift store that hospice gets support from.  I may need that at some time so that's a thought.  Goodwill, as I've mentioned before, is a for-profit company.  We donate a lot to Savers which goes to Big Brothers and Big Sisters.  Anyway, He has so many pants to donate that I need to find a place to take them soon.

After my nap I fixed dinner and after that, decided to head over to visit Ms. Diane.  I took leftover soup and some deviled eggs and some of the big muffins for her.  We sat and watched HSN where Chef Curtis Stone was showing off his large electric skillet.  It's 14" across, and he showed how he could put 4 ribeye steaks in it to cook and when they were done (very quicky, I might add), just took a paper towel and wiped it out.  My pans I have are like that.  I will wash them after I use and put away.  Hubby hates to do pans and will not listen to how easy they are to clean - and will leave them 'soaking' overnight which irritates me.  So I wash all the pots and pans I use as I finish with them and put away.   But, back to this skillet... yeah, I bought myself one.  I actually did try to cancel it this morning for I honestly do not NEED it, but I loved that it was so useful for different things.  In my thinking, I could make an entire dinner in one skillet by cooking two different items in the same skilled.  I also bought the steamer attachment for we do like steamed vegetables and I could do a bunch in it.  I was told that if I really wanted to return it, I could use the return label inside the box and they even marked my account not to be charged the shipping charges.  Now to decide if I want to return it or keep it.  I do love to cook... but I need more people to cook for!

Anyway, after I came home from Ms. Diane's, I mentioned to hubby how nice it was outside so we went outside and sat for probably another hour or more.  It was comfortable out and it was just pleasant to sit outside in the fresh air.  When we came in, hubby asked about watching a movie (no), so he turned the TV on to the ballgame.  So I decided to watch a movie on my kindle fire - started watching The Lake House - love that movie.  He can't understand it so doesn't like it.  I got about halfway through it.  Yes, I'm worth the $3.49 rental to watch it.  So I crochet'd and watched part of the movie. Will probably watch the rest of it today sometime.  Although I do need to go over and see Ms. Vicky; it's been a couple weeks. Take her some muffins too.  I have the rest of the bread in the freezer.

Philippians 2:5-8 (NKJV):  Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross.

I memorized Philippians 2:5-11 many, many years ago.  I could probably stumble through most of it now, but I memorized it also in the NIV version.  I found it interesting that the newer 'revised' NIV versions have changed the wording somewhat.  Yes, I used the NKJV version above, and it reminded me how words change how it can be perceived.  I think I like the version I memorized it in much better. 

But regardless how it is said, the verses tell us that we should remember how Jesus, who is part of the Trinity (God the Father, Jesus the Son, and the Holy Spirit) humbled himself in appearance to be a man, to come to earth to live as we live, to live a sinless life, and then gave up His very life, to be scourged and beaten, to die on the cross, and taking all our sins, and having them placed upon Him and being nailed to the cross.  I cannot get over that Jesus loves me so much, that He would die for me. And He died for you as well.

It takes more than just being 'good' and 'doing good' to go to heaven.  I cannot say that enough.  It takes more than just going to church, or teaching classes.  It takes surrendering one's will to the Lordship of Jesus, and asking Him to take over your life, to guide and direct your path.  It's the simple prayer.... "Jesus, I'm sorry for my sins, please forgive me.  I ask that you take over my life and help me to live for You.  Help me to choose the right path to walk and seek You to guide me in all my life.  Thank You for forgiving me and help me to live the rest of my life, for You. Amen."  Then follow it up with attending a church and being baptized in water - following Jesus' example.  The going under the water symbolizes your past being buried, and rising out of the water symbolizes being raised to life again.  It's something I have never regretted doing.  I can not even imagine - nor do I want to - not following Jesus.

We will be going to church this morning - it's really odd how we both felt we should stay home last week and just spend additional time with Jesus, but I'm glad we did.  Today I'm ready to go to church. How about you?  If you can't physically go, there is always online church and plenty to choose from. Of course my favorite is FreeChapel.org.  Dr David Jeremiah is also a great preacher and one that you can relate to.  Then there is always Pastor Steve at Shartel Church.  He will always be my favorite pastor.  Why not choose one and listen to a message today; it may answer many questions you may have. 

Starting your day with Jesus is the best way to get the day going.

Blessings!

Honestly, I was somewhat disappointed....

 My daughter and I went to The Habit Burger Grill for 'dinner' last night before heading over to the conference.  I really thought that she would want to go to a restaurant.  So she had a chicken club and I had a juicy burger.  And fries. Gotta have the fries.  I shared, but I ate the most.  On to the conference we went, got registered, and went inside to 'shop' at a boutique.  Disappointed there was only one this time.  And it was crowded.  Have I ever mentioned I really don't like crowds?  And women shopping in those crowds?  I glanced through the t-shirts, but didn't buy any.  I walked around and saw a few things, but nothing I needed nor wanted.  Then I saw it.  I had to get it.

First off, I will confess I probably have way too many of these as it is.  But this is different than what I have. Honestly, it is.  And it was cheaper than at the stores, in most cases.  What did I get?  A metal drink container.  With a little handle.  Why did I get it?  Cause I liked the words on the side of the container and I can take it to the gym with me, or on walks.  Cause it has a handle.  Oh - the words?

Lift Heavy.  Pray Hard.   (black letters on a white background)

Yeah - the 'Lift Heavy'. Pray Hard' words caught my eye and with a handle, yeah, I bought it.  And I will use it.  For awhile anyway. :-)  

The conference was 'ok'.... meaning that worship went way too long (an hour and fifteen minutes!) and it was hard to connect cause there was a tall person in front of me and she kept blocking the words on the screen.  Yes, I generally close my eyes while singing, but I didn't know these songs so needed the words. We probably should have sat closer than we did.  Then we sat through three (I think) speakers.... and it was different this time... these were more of sharing about their missions... one being Project Rescue, which is rescuing women and girls from brothels in other countries.  Then something they hadn't done before; they took an offering to support that.  The other 'missions' was something about 'kick out fear'.  More songs.  Someone was off on the right doing a large painting of a lion's head - very talented, and we were able to catch glimpses of that happening.  By the time they got to the third (and I think last) speaker, it was 9:15PM... I was tired from working all day, it was past my bedtime... and I whispered to my daughter that if she wanted to leave, I was ready. So we did.  I'm sure the last one was probably the best speaker, but (we) I didn't feel encouraged or motivated by anything I had heard as we have in the past.  I also told my daughter that I will go to one more, and if it is like this one, I probably wouldn't attend others.  Rash statement?  Perhaps.  In the past three-four I have attended, I have felt encouraged and motivated to make changes in my life.  This one did nothing of that. And that's all I have to say about it.

I didn't get up this morning until about 5:45AM.  Hubby got up a few minutes later and brought my coffee.  He was surprised I came out at 7AM and started fixing a second cup of coffee and grabbing a snack cracker.  He asked if I was finished (no).  I told him I have nothing planned and I was going to stay in my room longer.  Got my coffee, got my snack, and came back in here and shut the door.  I won't stay real long, but I do enjoy my solitude.

I ordered a Bible for my friend who I am covering for as she has surgery.  We got to talking about the Jeremiah Study Bible and how much I enjoy mine.  She has been watching some of his sermons and really likes him.  (I need to listen to more preaching than I do - it certainly couldn't hurt me, right?)  Our 30 minute meeting went over an hour as we talked about Jesus and Bibles and all.  Anyway, I showed her my NKJV Jeremiah Study Bible (we were on video) and how much I love it.  Wish I had bought these for my kids instead of the Jentezen Bible, as it doesn't have study notes as these do.  She shared she really likes the NIV so since her birthday is next month and I'm always trying to think of something to send her, I decided to just order it.  Got the thumb index too - but had to get black.  And that's ok.  Black is classy. She was going to order one while she was off, she said, but I jumped on Christian Book Distributors and ordered it for her birthday.  I'm not sharing here to get any pats on the back.  If I hear someone wants / needs a Bible, I will certainly put one in their hands.  One of these days I may order myself the Jeremiah NIV but I don't really need it. They are on sale now, which prompted me to get for her.  I learned about Jesus through the NIV as it was easy to read.  But I love my NKJV because of the flow of the words.  Maybe I'll get one to read through next year.  I didn't buy myself a new Bible this year.  Not that I need a new one. LOL

Do you remember the story of Zacchaeus in the Bible?  He was a short tax collector and climbed up the sycamore tree so that he could see Jesus coming down the road.  (Remember the song?  Zacchaeus was a wee little man, a wee little man was he!  He climbed up in a sycamore tree for the Lord he wanted to see! And as the Savior passed that way, He looked up in the tree - and He said, "Zacchaeus, you come down! For I'm going to house today! For I'm going to your house today!)  (sorry, had to sing the song) Anyway, in the bible it says...

Luke 19:10 (NKJV):  for the Son of Man has come to seek and to save that which was lost.

What does that mean?  Jesus has come to find and to save those who do not follow Him; those who have turned away from Him; those who do not know Him.  

I am so grateful that He came looking for me many years ago.  40+ years ago I would have never dreamed I would still be so in love with Jesus still!  He rescued me from hell - and it is a real place, in spite of what some of you may believe.  I honestly have a great fear of hell.  I think I have shared before that my sister and I often say we hope Jesus returns 'on a good day' for us.... days we are not frustrated or angry with our husbands.  I tell you what, and this is the truth.  If I had not accepted Jesus as Lord of my life and chose to follow Him, I would not be who I am today, nor would I be where I am today.  I was a mess back then.

And Jesus picked me up, brushed off the filth, and cleaned me by His blood.  Eternally, He set my feet on solid ground and I know that I am His.  He has me right where He wants me, in spite of all my grumbling about circumstances in my life.  In spite of my attitudes.  Jesus knows me better than I know myself.  He knows all about me.  He knows that He is the only reason I am still here.  And I love that about Him.  I don't have to explain things to Him as to why I did such and so - He knows what happened.  He knew it was going to happen before it did.  And He knows that He will always be with me as I cry out to Him and seek His face.

Honestly, there is nothing like it.  When was the last time you had a conversation with Jesus?  Even though He knows everything about me, about my circumstances, about things that trouble me, He still wants me to share it all with Him.  

And He wants you to share with Him as well.  Would you just take a moment and share with the One who seeks you, and is ready to save you from whatever you are sinking in?  Rejoice in the Lord always, Paul says. 

So we rejoice in the One who sets us free.

Blessings!

I need energy!

 I think the past few weeks with work have been so stressful they have worn me out!  This morning all I have wanted to do is sleep!  Grateful this is Friday!  We went to bed at our usual 8:30PM last night and I slept well, I think, but this morning I just can't keep the eyes open.  I know I have gone back to sleep a few times - it is what it is.  Some days are just like that, as you know.

Tonight is the women's conference at our 'main' church and my daughter is going with me.  We had originally planned on going on to a hotel for the night, just to relax afterwards and just have a night totally to ourselves.  But, knowing that she and her hubby were heading to New Mexico Saturday morning as soon as she returned, I offered to cancel the hotel so that they could get an early start.  And I'm ok with that.  We'll have dinner together tonight, go to the conference, and then we'll sleep in our own beds.  I'm thinking hubby is happy he won't be left alone tonight, although he could have watched all the shows he wanted without me here.  He just doesn't like being alone.  And being with someone all the time, I love being alone sometimes!  LOL

Hubby kind of 'pushed' on me yesterday morning and came to the doorway to say, "why don't you go to the gym with me after work tonight and we both can ride the bikes (or I can walk the treadmill)."  I knew better than say "no", or even "maybe".  So I just said "ok".  He walked away happy.  And I would have gone, but I was so tired last night that I came out of the room, sat on the couch and told him to give me time for a short nap.  So he comments back "You are too tired to go so we won't go."   And we didn't.  He watched the news and then asked if I wanted to watch a movie (no), or did I want him to just turn the TV off (yes).  I crochet'd some, listened to audible, and he played with his phone for the evening.  He plans to go ride the bike at the gym after his bible study this morning.  He just doesn't always get that although I sit at the desk all day, it is still stressful and exhausts me some days.  I know I'm getting older and I know I need to shake this heaviness for I will be working until I die, I think.  It's probably more depression because ... well, I'm not going to go there.  But, I am healthy, I think, and I am going to drop this weight (if I can just quit eating things I shouldn't - or eat less of them!) and continue to work out and get this body strong and healthy.  I just need space to breathe some, I think.  Is this another stage of life?  And I'm rambling.

Philemon 1:4 (NKJV):  I thank my God, making mention of you always in my prayers.

When you pray, who do you pray for?  Are your prayers more of "God, take care of this situation" or "Lord, I don't know how to pay this bill, will You provide the money"? (I've prayed that many times before!)  What do you pray for?  Who do you pray for?  Does your spouse know that you whisper prayers for them?  Not that they will do your bidding, but that they will be able to handle whatever comes during the day, that if they aren't well, that His hand will be upon them and give them the strength and the healing that they need?  Are your (our) prayers all about us and what we want?  Are we so self-centered that it's all about us?

When I pray, I not only pray for hubby, for long life and health (and for me to deal with issues), but I pray for his safety (and for those who surround him).  I pray for each of my children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren by name.  If I know of any issues, I pray for those. If I don't know what's going on in their lives, I just pray over them that they will have a good day and will feel the tug of God upon their hearts to turn to Him for any needs.  I pray for joy, for happiness, for peace.  I pray for each of my siblings and their spouses, and if I know of any issues, I pray for those.  Yeah, I can't do every one every day, for obviously my time in here in the mornings isn't that long, but on the weekends I can add a bunch of others because I have the time to spend just sitting before the Lord and asking for His intervention.  And I pray whenever God brings one to mind.  Even something that triggers a thought about someone, I know that is the Holy Spirit asking me to pray, for there is always something that I'm not aware of.

I just remembered one of my boys asking me (years ago), did I pray for them... and I said yes... and he mentioned something he had been involved in (I don't remember all the particulars) but he knew it had to be prayers over him that got him out of it.  Now mind you, I don't always get what I pray for, regardless of what my daughter says!  She has always said I have a 'direct prayer line' to God - but I don't.  He doesn't always give me all that I ask for.  Many times, I have been disappointed in unanswered prayers.  But the point is, I'm not in charge.  He is.  And when I bring my petitions and requests to Him, He knows what each one needs.  He knows more than I what is going on in each person's life.  

My 'job' is to pray and present my petitions and requests to the only One who can answer them.  

That's it.  I am to pray.  Whether God answers my requests the way I want Him to, depends on if I am praying according to His will.  Am I free of sin in my life that He will hear my prayers.  If I have done something and haven't confessed it, I know that God will not listen to my prayers.  They hit the ceiling. But when I confess my sin(s) and ask for His forgiveness, I know that He listens to every word I say.

There are people who pray and pray and pray (or say they do) and they don't see any changes; they don't feel they are getting answers.  All they need to do is look at their lives and see why they aren't getting answers.  I'm not being judgmental; I just shared above that sometimes God doesn't hear my prayers if I'm holding back on a confession.  

And, it doesn't matter if I am right in a situation, sometimes I need to talk with God about it and ask if I could have handled it differently; did I sin in the words I used; and I need to confess any anger or frustration that I felt.  And most of all, I need to put it in His hands and ask Him to bless and take care of whatever it is.  Sometimes that is all we need to do.

Give it to God and let Him handle it.  You have heard the saying "Give it to God and let it go".  When you know you can't fix something, it is truly much easier to give it to Him and let Him take care of it. Trust me, I have to do this all the time! 

As you know, I'm not perfect, I make mistakes, I do stupid things, and I say things that I shouldn't at times. Do I regret it? Sure I do. Do I have to confess it to Jesus (and sometimes go to the person I said it to and ask forgiveness for saying it) and ask His forgiveness?  Sure I do.

And that is something I have never regretted.  Confessing to Jesus is a cleansing of the soul.  When you confess and ask forgiveness, you receive such peace that you wonder what took so long (other than your pride holding you back) to talk to Jesus about it.  He's not going to run to someone and tell them your secrets. He already knows them.

Why not take a few minutes this morning and just have a general conversation with Jesus?  Did you know that Jesus is always sitting next to you, waiting for you to acknowledge Him?  He is your best friend. He keeps all your secrets.  He is always waiting for you to open up and talk to Him about your problems.  He already knows them, and when you talk about them, sometimes you will get the answer you are looking for.

Talk to Jesus about your health.  He may give you insight on how to make it better.  Talk to Jesus about your spouse.  Talk to Jesus about your children, your grandchildren, your great-grandchildren.  Talk to Him about your finances, your job; all the things that trouble you.  Quit dealing with it on your own; He knows about it already, why not ask Jesus what to do about it?

And with that, I'm going to take a few more minutes and just sit in His presence and be still.

Psalm 46:10  Be still, and know that I am God.

Blessings!

They loved my thought...

 I was surprised how quickly I got a response back after I sent the email yesterday morning that I was declining to speak 'motherly advice' to other mothers, and instead speak to grandparents.  The comment I got back was "Love it!  And you are still speaking in to a child - a grandchild!'  So I guess that means I get to share my thoughts and my granddaughter's letter.  I got it out of my treasure box yesterday and re-read it again.  I am so proud of this young woman.  She is such a good mom (she did have a good example to follow!) and I can still remember when I was told how she gave her life to Jesus.  She will always have that special place in my heart.  As I re-read her note to me, I still had tears form in my eyes.  Her words touch my heart.  So now I have two weeks to prepare!  At least there isn't much I need to do; share how I took the grandchildren to church and the letter.  

We love our trainer.  I know I've told you that many times.  We've had dinner with him a few times and love just spending time with him.  He's like one of our grandsons that we'd like to spoil!  Last night, as we were ending up my training session, he got a text that his next client was wanting to move his appointment to this morning.  That meant I was the last one yesterday.  We both discussed how we had thawed chicken at home. Finally I asked if he wanted to go out to eat with us - which he readily accepted.  He says I remind him of his grandmother, so I guess thinking of him as my grandson is appropriate. LOL  I called hubby when I was finished and we all met up at Coco's for a meal. It was a fun time.  Coco's is not the fastest service, for sure.  They only had one waiter.  Two cooks.  And I think one of the cooks was also the one who cleared tables.  When we arrived there were six other people in the restaurant eating.  Then there was just us.  By the time we left, two others came in.  That's how busy they were.  If you are in no hurry for your food and want to talk, this is the place to go!  LOL  And, being Wednesday, we got free pie. :-) We all left full.  But we had great conversation and enjoyed our time with him.  I chatted with his mother after I got home.  She's nice too. She lives in Wyoming, where he is from.  It's going to be tough when our trainer moves to Chicago in two weeks.  

He's already assigned me and hubby to other trainers.  Hubby has a male trainer, I have a female.  I have talked with Morgan, my trainer, numerous times and we have a good relationship.  She had actually asked Trayden (our trainer) if she could have me. :-)  Hubby went with Jason.  I joke with Trayden that Morgan probably won't let me whine like I do with him.  He laughs. She's going to make me hurt, I'm sure.  Morgan and I will need to talk to determine a time for me to workout as she already has someone when I have been going.  We will probably discuss what my goals are.  Trayden said he has already passed all my papers over to her, including my former goals.  Lose weight; gain strength; get toned.  That's basically it.  I don't need bulging muscles.  I just want to wear my pre-Covid clothes comfortably.  

I Corinthians 10:31 (NKJV):  Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.

We oftentimes think of I Corinthians as the book that contains the 'chapter of love' - chapter 13.  And it is true.  But there is so much more that is in it!  Paul emphasizes in the above scripture that we may be saved by grace, but makes it clear that as Christians we are to live our lives in a way that glorifies and honors God.

That means it doesn't matter if we are eating or drinking - or whatever we do - are we doing it that brings glory to our Heavenly Father?  I am sure that sounds strange - what does our eating or drinking have to do with our walk with Jesus?  Well, back in these times, food was being offered to idols and some were arguing over whether or not that meat should be eaten by Christians.  It was all new to them and Paul was trying to tell them it doesn't matter.  But in this particular case, I think it was more they wouldn't eat at home, but then gorge themselves with the food and not leave for others.  And then they drank a lot of wine because the water wasn't the best (so I hear).  They would 'over drink'.  Adm Paul was saying, don't pig out on food, and don't overdrink!  Whatever you have, do it to glorify our Father in heaven.  Don't be a pig!  Ok, that's my version.  

In fact, all that we do is to bring glory to our Father in heaven.  Don't you agree?  Our words reflect who Jesus is to us.  Our behavior reflects who we believe Jesus is.  When we accept Him as Lord, and He is our All in All, should all we do - eat and drink - and say - bring glory and honor to His name?

Yeah, sometimes I fail in that department, for my emotions get ahead of my mind some times.  But I am learning to hold things in check and not respond in kind when I am being slandered.  Oh yes, I want to threaten a lawsuit for being slandered; I want to respond to hateful things said... but God tells me to shut my mouth; keep my fingers off that keyboard, and allow Him to deal with the situation.  He will repay those who slander and hurt His children.

Yesterday was an extremely busy day at work and it was also Administrative Professional Day.  I got a huge bouquet of flowers from two of my bosses, a $20 gift card for Amazon from another, not even an acknowledgement of the 4th one I support.  My male boss, after I thanked him for the flowers, texted me 'Happy administrative professionals day' and I came back with he needs to say it numerous times because he was giving me a lot of work yesterday!  And he did.  I think he said it about six times!  LOL It was a crazy day and I didn't get everything done so need to start on it first thing this morning.

I am somewhat fearful of the next 8 weeks as I will be covering all those doctors for my friend.  But I keep praying that God will help me not be busy with my people so that when they ask, I can help them quickly.  And with that, I need to get off here and get busy.  It's another day!

Have a wonderful day - and stay focused on Jesus.  He truly is the only way!

Blessings!

It's an honor, but.....

 I was asked to be part of a panel that would share things about being a mother that I would want passed on to future mothers.  I declined.  Why?  Because I don't feel I was as good of a mother as I should have been.  I didn't have an example to follow, so I didn't know how to be a mother, and learned along the way. The most important thing I learned, in my opinion, is to love Jesus and to surrender my life to Him.  I shudder to think what my life would be like if I had not chosen to follow Jesus.  So when asked, although I was humbled, I declined.

But, I did propose another idea.  As I was praying about last night (and it seemed to work in my mind all night!) I proposed that I speak to grandparents.  God reminded me of the times I took the grandchildren to church on Wednesday nights.  He reminded me of the precious letter I had received a few weeks ago from a granddaughter who gave me credit for her taking a step of faith in teaching a class at her church.  I decided that if these people would accept my proposal, I will share a part of that letter.  I have only shared it with a couple people because I didn't want anyone to think I was being prideful of anything but my granddaughter.  Stay tuned; I sent them the email this morning and will see if they will agree.  If not, then I will decline their invitation to speak.

I didn't meet up with my daughter last night for 'girls night out'.  I needed to do a run to Sam's Club and pick up a few things.  Sigh.  $300 later, as I unpacked, I realized I had bought only junk food.  I guess I have really missed it.... I bought crackers snacks, chips, lots of nuts.... only one package of meat.  Go figure.  I didn't even buy the drinks I normally get - but I did get the protein drinks that we like.  Oh well.  That will last us a couple months.  

Hubby got a phone call from his friend and they didn't meet last night either.  But I did get to go to Sam's Club alone.  When I got home, instead of me cooking the thawed out chicken... hubby wanted to go to Chipolte's.  But - when we got there, the line was to the door and he didn't want to stand in line.  So we went to McAllister's.  I didn't have to cook, which was nice, but daggone - since when did one full sandwich, a half sandwich and a half salad, and two drinks cost $35?? I made her read back the order to be sure she didn't add something on there!  Plus they want a tip!! Yeah, we won't be back there for awhile.  Restaurants are getting way too expensive anymore.  I'd rather cook at home or go to 'fast food'.  But even they are getting expensive!  Hubby doesn't look at prices; he gets what he wants.  I look at prices first, then I decide.  Always have. Always will.  I know what it costs to prepare that food.

Bought a bottle of sugar free hazelnut syrup for hubby to put in his coffee for something different.  Ugh. He put it in mine this morning and I will need to tell him to leave it out - or put in a lot less.  I just can't get in to these syrups too much - too sweet for me - even the sugar free ones.

Today will be another busy day and I am dreading Monday when my co-worker takes off for 8 weeks and leaves me with her 8 doctors to take care of.  I don't mind scheduling meetings or submitting expenses for them, I didn't know I'd also have to attend some of these meetings and take minutes!  UGH.  I need to review her list of instructions and contact her to go over the questions I know I will have.  I waited as I figured I'd forget before she left.  I'm still praying for a miraculous healing and that I won't have to cover for her as she won't need the surgery! But surgery is scheduled for May 1. I'm praying she won't need it. Back surgery. And she said they found her back was fractured as well. 

John 3:16  For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him, will not perish but have everlasting life.

Lord, I believe; please help my unbelief.

Sometimes that is where we are in life, don't you think?  We believe that Jesus is the Son of God, and yet, we don't really believe IN Him. Does that make sense?  I mean, afterall, if we truly believed that Jesus is the Son of the Living God, wouldn't we follow Him?  Wouldn't we want to be like Him?  Wouldn't we want to obey His precepts?  And yet, we say we believe.

And when we get to that ... we must also add, Lord, please help my unbelief - not in You, but IN You enough to choose to follow You.

Holy is His Name.  

Believe.  No doubt. No question. 

He is.  

Jesus.

Getting trainings completed

 Well, I was able to get 3-4 of the mandatory trainings done yesterday as my bosses pretty much were busy yesterday and didn't send me a lot of work.  I still have several to go - like I'm guessing about 18 of them but haven't counted. That would be too depressing.  I have this 'quiz block' that happens whenever I take a test, and even though some of this stuff I know, most of it I don't because my job doesn't require me to have anything to do with it.  So I have to make sure I read through everything.  And I cheat a little...  I screen print the reading so that if I can't figure out for sure the answer to the question, I can search for it.  It's not really cheating.... I just don't retain things like I used to. Especially with all the distractions I have throughout the day.  And they give us all the material.  I did find with two of the quizzes I didn't have to look at the notes, so I just deleted them when I was finished.  This stuff isn't part of my job, and it has nothing to do with me, so it is frustrating to have to take it - or lose my job.  The only consolation is that even the president has to take all these trainings as well.  As do all my bosses.  My one boss and I both work on them as we can because when the lists come out of who hasn't completed them, we don't want our names on them!  And, we don't want to have to take our personal time to complete them so try to complete them during the work day.  In years past, I know some who give up a weekend and just sit and take one test after another.  Nope. That's MY time and I'm not willing to give it up for trainings.  I try to knock out at least one a day - I have until June 30th, but the sooner I get them done, the better.

I think hubby had a decent birthday.  He got lots of birthday greetings, which brought him joy.  He had training yesterday morning and then went to breakfast with a friend who wanted to take him out for his birthday.  He 'asked permission' to take a nap in the middle of the afternoon (will you get mad if I take a nap? I think that is asking permission.) and slept almost 2 hours.  It was interesting he asked as this happens when he sits in his recliner in the afternoon.  Regardless, he asked.  As I got ready to go for my workout, I asked if he wanted to go out to eat after for his birthday or come home and I'll cook.  He said it didn't matter, so I pulled chicken out of the freezer and put in a bowl of water to thaw while we were at the gym.  But then, at the gym, I was teasing our trainer - should I go home and cook hubby a birthday dinner or go to Popeye's (which is right next to the gym).  He looked at me and said 'go home'.  I protested with 'but it's hubby's birthday!' and he laughed and said "go to Popeye's".  So I told hubby he had a choice - chicken and veggies at home or go to Popeye's - and that our trainer had said Popeye's was his choice.  LOL Hubby immediately goes "Popeye's!" so that's where we had his birthday dinner.  Got home, the thawed chicken went in the refrigerator for lunch today, and he ate a large piece of strawberry pie for dessert.  He wanted to watch a movie, but I didn't, so he watched FBI while I listened to an audible book.

I have read this book before, but just haven't pulled it off the shelf. I had downloaded it for free several months ago so wanted to listen to it.  The Bait of Satan by John Bevere.  I would encourage you to read it.  I think it was chapter 6 last night that gave me pause.  He talked about living without offense. He referred some to leaving churches because someone or something offended you... and I had to think back over the years and also where we are now.  I know God was wanting us to leave the one church, and I believe that He orchestrated things to happen that confirmed we were to leave.  But, in my heart, I know that I still felt offended by something the pastor did. I have no idea where that pastor is now, but he caused a lot of people to leave rapidly.  But I haven't felt 'home' at any church since.  Still struggling where we are, but realize I need to be praying not only where does God want us to go, and if where we are we are to stay, I need to be praying that we don't leave until God releases us from that church.  In all of John Bevere's books he makes me ponder and think about where I am, what I think, my reactions to things - and it's all biblical.  That's what I love about his books.  He doesn't pull punches.  Either you follow Jesus completely, or you are of this world.  You can't pick and choose when you want to follow Jesus or when you want to do your own thing.  I'll give you another example another time. I have the book I'm thinking of, but want to read it again as well.  But, bottom line, 'being good' isn't good enough to get you in to heaven. 

Romans 14:11 (NKJV):  For it is written: "As I live, says the Lord, every knee shall bow to Me, and every tongue confess to God."

Romans 14:11-12(TPT):  For it is written, "A surely as I am the Living God, I tell you: 'Every knee will bow before me and every tongue will confess the truth and glorify me!'  Therefore each one must answer for himself and give a personal account of his own life before God.

Everything we do - every action, every word - we will confess before God when we come to His throne. We often think we have plenty of time; we feel healthy, we think we are doing good, so nothing is going to happen for a long time, right?  How wrong that thinking is.  We never know when our time will come to an end.  It could happen in a car accident.  Some of you who have been in accidents that are serious, know how close it was that your life could have been taken.  Just walking across the street one can be injured.  There are many things that can cause what we would all 'a premature death'.  And those of us who are older, we know that anything can happen to us.  Yes, I've often thought about my life and if I would 'be ready' to kneel before God and be accepted into heaven.  I can't judge anyone else on their life, I am too busy confessing all my known and unknown sins that I will be in heaven!  As you know, I am not perfect, by any means.  

But I love Jesus and I strive to follow Him and follow His teachings from His Word.  Reminds me, at the last service I gave at the RV park, a man came through the line and said he wanted to ask me a question.  It was an interesting question, and I had to pause and then confess the truth.  His question?  "Are any of your children faithfully in church and serving the Lord?"

My heart broke.  I had to respond with the truth.  I did say that one or two go to church occasionally, or watch online, but no, none are fully following Jesus.  That is on me. I didn't give them the example to follow and that is my fault.  But then, I was not given the example either, although I was brought up in church every week.  Our home life was definitely not a Christian home.  We used to say that we didn't have to watch the fights (boxing) on TV; we had the 'Friday night fights at our house every week".  I wasn't raised in a Christian home.  I tried to raise my children in one, but I obviously did not succeed in that.  I know I did a lot of things wrong.  I hope they have learned from my mistakes and choose to rise above my mistakes and chooses Jesus about this world.

And that is what I often pray for them.  Choose Jesus.  Follow Him.  He is the only way to live in this world.  I keep thinking I need to go back to fasting once a week for them; I used to, but got away from it when we left our first church.  Today would be a good day to start.  If you need an incentive, National Day of Prayer is Thursday, May 2nd.

What are you doing for your children?  Are you praying for them?  Not only for their safety, but for their salvation?  Maybe today would be a good day to start for that. Think about it.

Blessings!

I was tired last night...

 Well, we didn't go to church.  As I was sitting here yesterday, finishing up writing in here, hubby opens the door and says, "I don't feel like going to church this morning."  Isn't that interesting?  So, I mentioned that I also had been feeling the same thing- so we didn't go.  We did watch the service; hubby watched on the computer, I listened more as I got busy in the kitchen and started making some soups and strawberry pie.  I didn't feel guilty for not going, should I have?  Hubby and I went out and sat outside and continued to read our Bible or book for awhile and I wrote in my journal.  It was cool, with a slight breeze, and it was just really nice sitting outside for awhile. Something I don't get to do very often.

Since I had cooked breakfast, hubby didn't want lunch, so after I finished making soups and strawberry pies, I came in the front room and sat down.  Hubby had the game on, but quickly asked "do you want to watch a movie?"  I said ok, so we wended up watch 3 movies yesterday, then he kicked it over to NCIS about 7PM-ish.  So nothing got done yesterday except my cooking and cleaning up the mess.  But it was a relaxing day - you know I enjoy cooking and baking so I was ok with all that, but when I sat down, I realized how tired I was.  Getting old is not fun.

Today is hubby's birthday and when he came in with my coffee, I gave him his gifts, and he reminded me I had already bought him new tennis shoes, and something else, I forget what it was.  Anyway, I gave him a pair of walking poles (he always has an excuse he can't take long walks because he needs something to balance himself (he easily loses his balance and falls if he walks a long distance, especially if he is carrying something).  And a new phone case that is a tan color.  His black/tan cover he is constantly losing.  Hopefully he can find his phone easier now.  He seemed happy with the gifts.  I even splurged and bought a card, which I don't normally do.

I probably will offer to take him out to dinner somewhere tonight because it is his birthday, although we do have soup in the refrigerator. I may bag it up today and throw in the freezer.  It needs some doctoring up.  It's a good soup, don't get me wrong, but I used ground turkey instead of ground beef, and it has no flavor.   I don't know if I want to give to the neighbors or not.  And my strawberry pies?  I made two, but they don't seem to be quite right.  I found a new recipe and tried it, but it said to crush a cup of the strawberries, which I did, and cook, which I did, and then it said to add sugar and cornstarch to thicken, which I did.  Then it said to 'sieve' (which means to strain out the pieces that weren't crushed)... which I didn't, thinking it would give the pies flavor.... and therefore, they are somewhat runny.  Good, but runny.  I say good, because I have hubby and I 1/8 piece of pie after we ate.... and I saw later that hubby went back and got another, larger, piece.  I can say that cause 1/2 the pie is gone.  I do need to give the other pie away; we will never eat it that fast.  And we still have 1/2 a pie.

I was reading Romans 12 today in The Passion Translation, and I wish I had the time to write the entire chapter in here.  I've read that chapter many times over the years, and it is the basis of the Christian walk, I believe.  But TPT made it so clear.  It talks about the transforming power of the gospel.  This scripture is but a taste of what is to come.

Romans 12:1 (TPT):  Beloved friends, what should be our proper response to God's marvelous mercies? To surrender yourselves to God to be his sacred, living sacrifices. And live in holiness, experiencing all that delights his heart. For this becomes your genuine expression of worship.

In this chapter Paul also talks about being inwardly transformed by the Holy Spirit through a total reformation of how we think.  He talks about pride. (yeah, I had to pause and pray about that one - am I prideful?  Yes, I unfortunately am, in some areas. We can call it being defensive, but in some cases, it is being prideful)  Paul also talks about the various gifts that God gives each of us.  

And Paul also talks about how our relationships are to be transformed.  Granted, he is talking about members and not family.  Still, some of the verses spoke to me.  And I think I have been doing that.

Romans 12:14 (TPT): Speak blessing, not cursing, over those who reject and persecute you.

And I know that I shared this one before.

Romans 12:19 (TPT): Beloved, don't be obsessed with taking revenge, but leave that to God's righteous justice. For the Scriptures say: "Vengeance is mine, and I will repay," says the Lord.

I didn't take the time to reread Romans 12 in the NKJV as I usually do.  But in The Passion Translation it makes me pause and think.  

I'm thinking I may be allergic to some of my yarn.  I really don't know, but every few months or so, my right arm will break out in a rash.  I try to get to the dermatologist before it goes away, and one time it was on the 'tail end' of the rash, but he took a biopsy to see what it was - but there wasn't enough to make a decision.  So what did he tell me to do?  Take an Alegra every day.  He said it wouldn't hurt me to do so.  And I did for awhile, but quit a few months ago.  And last night, I noticed the rash back on my arm and it has probably been 6 months since I have had it.  It' really strange; it doesn't itch. I is about 8" long and 3" wide and looks blotched on my arm.  That's the only place it appears, that I'm aware of.  And by tomorrow morning it will have faded away.  It lasts about 3 days and then fades back out.  But I was busy crocheting yesterday and watching movies... I made 2 baby blankets and got started on a third  so perhaps the yarn?  But then, it wasn't on this arm at all.  I'm right handed so the hook is in that hand.  I don't know, but that's the only thing I can think it could possibly be - and I remember thinking the same thing before.  I don't know.  Perhaps I should block out a day when  I just crochet all day and see what happens. Like I have all that time.  And, looking at the clock, my time is about gone in here this morning.  Sigh. Back to work.

Blessings!

He is all I need....

 It was a busy day yesterday, although I did manage to get some reading and perhaps a short nap in the middle of it.  We did meet our friends at Canaan in the Desert yesterday morning, walked through it, and then had brunch.  It was a fun time.  And I found out - and I'm not being mean - that one of the women whom I had not been around much - was a talker.  I think I noticed it when my other friend was very quiet.  I don't usually have a lot of talking going on when I'm eating, but I don't know if she stopped long enough to take a bite or just kept talking.  Anyway, after a while, I was getting tired of the constant talking.  Know anyone like that?  It was nice being with them, don't get me wrong.... it was the constant chattering when I would have enjoyed some quiet.  I whispered in my other friend's ear when I gave her a hug..."we need to meet for lunch sometime soon"... and she got the message.  Of course, they see this couple frequently, so they knew ... but I didn't.  Now I do.  Not that I will avoid this couple - I won't - but I am more aware my ears might fall off.  

It was a good time, though, and we enjoyed the outing with our friends.  And brunch.  We came home and just chilled.  Hubby turned on the TV to a game, so I came in here and planned to read.  And I did read some, but I may have dozed a bit too.  We then met our daughter and her family and had a good dinner at a Mexican restaurant, which was good.  Too many chips and salsa, of course.  I was disappointed with my pollo fundido, although I didn't say anything.  It wasn't hot, but cool, and dry.  My daughter did comment hers was dry as well.  The thought has occurred to me - I wonder if they make some of these in advance, and then add the sauce and cheese and throw in an oven to heat up as the cheese melts.  Things that make one go hummmm.  Oh, be sure to check your receipts when you have a large group (there were 7 of us) - some restaurants add gratuity to the receipt automatically.  My daughter was figuring out the tip - and then noticed it was already added!  This isn't the first time it has happened either.  I think it is six or more some add automatically, but if you miss it being on there and only look at the total, you end up giving $50+ tips!

Hubby's birthday is actually tomorrow.  I need to find where I have hidden his birthday gifts.  I think I have him three things, but at the moment, I can only think of two, so I'm guessing that I will not find that third item.  

My tummy awakened me during the night and although it feels ok right now, I'm not sure if I will be going to church today.  I'm just not feeling 'good', does that make sense?  Could it be I ate too much yesterday?  I'm wanting to stay home... and yet, I feel guilty I want to stay home and not go.  Yes, I'm listening to Free Chapel, and I'm willing to watch our church on the computer or my phone.  I'm just feeling so tired and stomach queasy.  Will see how I feel in another hour - then I will make a decision.  I just feel like I need to go - and yet, I feel like I need to stay home.  Does that mean it is going to be a great service today and I'm going to miss it?  That has happened when I allowed myself to convince myself to stay home.  Will I miss a good service?  I need to make that decision.

Acts 17:24-26 (NKJV):  God, who made the world and everything in it, since He is Lord of heaven and earth, does not dwell in temples made of hands.  Nor is He worshipped with men's hands, as though He needed anything, since He gives to all life, breath, and all things.  And He has made from one blood every nation of men to dwell upon the earth, and has determined their preappointed times and the boundaries of their dwellings.

Paul made this point about the Greeks when he visited and shared about Jesus.  Remember the scripture where Paul saw all these idols and gods that were worshipped and there was one that had a sign 'The Unknown God' because they were afraid they might forget one and not know it.  So they had to create an 'unknown god' idol to worship.  And isn't that what we do at times?  We 'worship' an unknown god when we don't acknowledge the God who created us, God, who made everything in it.  Even the chairs we sit in were created by Him in that He gave knowledge to the one who made it.

When we go to the doctor, we get what God created because He gives them wisdom to care for our bodies.  God is all in all and He is all we need.  When you go to the doctor, do you just 'hope' for good results - or do you whisper a prayer on the way that God will not only give you good test results, but that the doctor will have wisdom on how to treat you and any symptoms you have?  I get so tired of doctors second guessing God and making their own assumptions on someone's health just based on a symptom that may be only one time or two.  Ever think about that?

I always remember talking with my youngest brother, Buddy, before he died.  He believed this and because I don't know and have never researched it, I believe what he did.  He said he had eaten 4-6 candy bars one morning and went to the refrigerator a couple times and drank milk (yeah we all have done this, you know you have) from the carton.  Mother saw him and called our oldest brother, Sammy, who was a diabetic.  Sammy came over and did a blood sugar test on Buddy and it was 400.  So they called the family doctor (who in my opinion now was not a good doctor) who put Buddy in the hospital and put him on an insulin drip right away.  Buddy was in the hospital I think for 4 days, getting 'regulated'.  According to Buddy's belief - whether true or not, he believed it - he feels the hospital messed up his body to where he became a diabetic and he had to take shots the rest of his life.  He became a non-compliant diabetic because he didn't believe he was a diabetic, and was often in the hospital in ketoacidosis.  Buddy ended up dying in his late 30's when a brain aneurysm burst in the back of his head.  So was he a diabetic before getting pumped with insulin?  No one will ever know. 

Why did I say the doctor wasn't a good doctor?  We loved this doctor and some of the family went to him after we left home.  He was to deliver my 2nd child, but was on vacation.  But he gave us whatever we asked for.  I mean, did I want diet pills?  Ok, he'd write a prescription.  Nowadays you have to have an act of God to get the doctor to give you one (no, I haven't asked).  Said you were feeling a little depressed?  Things not going well?  Well, he had a prescription for that too.  

(erase, erase) 

Ok - I need to hush for I'm all over the place on this.  I feel for those who have to take a lot of medication.  Hubby has a bag full of medications and vitamins - and yet, the doctor declared at his last physical that he was in the best shape as he has been in a long time and to 'keep doing what you have been doing'.  Well, I guess with 2 BP meds, blood thinners, thyroid, 2 cholesterol pills, and who knows what else.... one COULD be considered 'healthy'.  Ok I'll hush.

I heard a song that I think sums it all up.  Jesus is all we need.

"He is all I need, He is all I need, All, all, I need.   Jesus is all I need, He is all I need, Jesus is all I need."

And He is.

Blessings!

What goes around.....

 comes around.  We've all heard that, haven't we?  And sometimes we wait and wait, hoping to see something come around on someone who has offended us.  And we rarely see it.  And if something should happen to that person, would we feel guilty it was wished on them?  Would we feel remorse? Would we ask for forgiveness?  Ah, these thoughts have come at me this morning at someone who has offended me, offended my family, and curses us.  Yes, I have thought thoughts that I want that person punished.  In my own anger I want them hurt.  But I throw those thoughts out and ask God to remove them from my mind.

Why?  Because we are called to love others as we love ourselves.  If someone offends us, we are to forgive them.  Even if they think they have done nothing wrong (does that mean they are stupid?) and continue to berate and curse the people who have previously extended a hand or have helped them.  We all know people like that. Who, after a day or two of bellyaching how abused they are, will 'forget about it' and wallow in their own self and think life is back to normal.  Only it isn't for those they have wounded. Ah.... my thoughts are wandering already this morning so I am going to force it off the topic.  I choose not to have my own personal revenge but allow Jesus to advocate in all situations.  I want to call down curses on them, yes, but instead, I must call down blessings and allow God to punish in His way for the offense to His children.  In our way, we sometimes see results.... and isn't that what we want?  UGH!

Our great-granddaughter received her package from us yesterday and when I heard she had, I did a video call so that we could watch her open it.  Our granddaughter said the daughter was in a grumpy mood - and I think she was right.  She did open the box, but she didn't seem interested in anything but the ipad she was playing on.  Of course I wanted excited and happiness, but we didn't get it, but it was good to 'see' her and I got to talk to our granddaughter some and saw our grandson-in-law come in and wave to us.  I hope she had a good birthday.  7 years old.  Time is flying by!

Our trainer didn't come over last night - which was ok - I didn't cook dinner - we snacked - and we watched two movies.  And hubby stayed awake for both of them!  Amazing!  LOL

Today we have a somewhat busy day.  We're meeting friends from the RV park at Canaan in the Desert at 9:30AM, and then afterwards going to brunch.  Then we will probably come home and take a nap!  Or not.  This evening we will be heading to a Mexican restaurant with the daughter and some of her family to celebrate hubby's birthday, which is Monday.  Food, it's always about food, isn't it?  Food brings friends and families together.  LOL

Got to meet up with my daughter in love for a few moments yesterday and chat with her. Gave her some extra vegetables and fruit.  I had gotten two combo boxes and a bunch of strawberries too - hope to make strawberry pie - already thawed out the crusts so maybe I'll do that after we get back home today.  Hope she can use the vegetables.

Galatians 3:13-14 (NLT):  But Christ has rescued us from the curse pronounced by the law. When He was hung on the cross, He took upon Himself the curse of our wrongdoing. For it is written in the scriptures, "Cursed is everyone who is hung on a tree."  Through Christ Jesus, God has blessed the Gentiles with the same blessing He promised to Abraham, so that we as believers might receive the promised Holy Spirit through faith.

Any curses placed upon us are broken in the name of Jesus.  Do you believe that?  When we follow Him, He breaks every curse that the enemy has put upon us.  

Sometimes we don't understand why we go through dry spells in our lives.  Sometimes it is financial, sometimes it is employment, sometimes it is our spiritual walk, sometimes it is just life.  We feel dry, empty, without hope. We tell ourselves that 'it's just life' or 'it's just the way it is' and we keep moseying along in that same heaviness of the dry spell.  It can be caused by anything.  You have frequently read about some of my own personal dry spells.

But Jesus has declared us whole in Him!  Jesus has declared our lives are worthy because of His sacrifice on the cross.  He took all our sins and bore them for you and for me.  And the devil hates that. He will stir up strife within families, within friends, just to cause problems.  The devil doesn't want us to remember we are forgiven by the blood of Jesus Christ.  The devil wants us to be depressed, to feel the heaviness of life upon us.  The devil doesn't want us to sing songs of praise to break the spell of heaviness within our bodies or within our homes.  Oils and things like that doesn't break curses or heaviness, but Jesus does!  

We often hear certain people say they have put various oils in the air of their homes to break the evil that is there - and they are the ones bringing it in!  They ask people to anoint their doors and windows to keep evil out - but they open the windows to let it in.   Jesus has rescued us from the curses of the evil one - not by oils or prayers spoken against the evil one, but by His blood and His sacrifice for us.

Only Jesus can break the curse of the evil one.  Only Jesus can set you free from whatever is coming against you.  Put some praise music on and let it play in the background.  Hum an old hymn that may come to mind from your youth.  Ask God to intervene and open the floodgates of His blessings upon you and your home, upon your family.  When was the last time you prayed for your family? For your spouse? For your children? For yourself?

Yes, we are also to pray for ourselves.  Sometimes we need a bit of help too, don't you agree?  Many times I am on my face before God to help me understand why some things happen like they do.  I cry out about how I feel; why is this happening to my children, my grandchildren.  And I know He hears me - and even though I don't see or hear the responses/answers I want to see or hear immediately, I know that my prayers, though they may fall short, He hears them and because He loves me, He will answer them - IN HIS TIME.  I may never see the response I want to see from Him for a situation.  But He is definitely in control of it.

Why not take a moment after reading this to just sit back in your chair and ask Jesus (you don't even have to close your eyes!), to help you understand what you need to know, and to help you through whatever you may be going through.  Talk to Him; He is sitting in the chair next to you.  He's been there every day, waiting on you to just acknowledge His presence.  Jesus is your best friend. He will never let you down.  He been faithful to all generations, and He won't fail you now.  Just start off by saying... "Hi Jesus...."

Blessings!

How will I fit it all in today?

 I have a lot going on today - besides work.  That's just interference in my day (work, that is).  About 10AM I plan to run down and pick up my combo box of vegetables.  Then I'm to meet my 'old' girlfriend for lunch at 11AM.  Then I want to get a casserole started in the crockpot for dinner. And I also got work to do. The plus side is that this is Friday and usually on Fridays I don't get hit too bad... but you watch, today I will get a lot to do.  I did get my boss's Colorado trip scheduled - airline, hotel, and car rental - yesterday so that's done.  Now I'm working on his itinerary and who he is to see, what is the driving distance from each location, etc.  I worked about two hours on it yesterday and sent to him - and he sent it right back with a couple questions, which I did not respond to last night.  Will go at it again this morning. No biggie; he doesn't go until the middle of next month, so I have time.

My youngest had picked up a food box yesterday - and I still don't understand why but none of my business - and brought me a bunch of tomatillos and tomatoes - cherry and roma.  I washed the tomatillos and quickly made up a batch of green salsa that I love.  Haven't really tried it yet.  I only had about 1.5 jalapeno so used it, and my cilantro - I had cut it way back last week and gave to a granddaughter to use - so I didn't have much of it left.  Will taste it some time today and see what I need to add to it.  If I make more, will have to pick up cilantro at the store - go figure!  

Yes, I have my own little 'garden' here in the house.  A few months back I had bought one of those hydroponic systems for someone and they couldn't use it - so I set it up and planted some cilantro, mint, basil and chives in it.  Oh my - it was totally overgrown quickly - especially the cilantro and basil.  Need to clear out some room, I cut it way back on it all and gave it away.  Go figure I'd need cilantro now.  I emptied one of the pods yesterday and put in onions.  I've given thought to getting another one; there is room where I have this one.  I could also plant some in the planter outside.  Which I may try to do this weekend.  I just don't need an overabundant supply of any of the herbs but I love growing them. And, according to the photos, I can also plant strawberries in there.  But, I am planning to get a box of strawberries today when I go pick up my combo box, so there's that.   I am enjoying my little garden.  I don't have to do anything to it but keep water in it and occasionally put in some 'food' in the water. The base is full of water - and roots.  Lots of roots. I will have to totally clean it out at some point.  Need to order more pods - I think I only have six extras.  It's my new toy and I enjoy it.

I had the strangest dream last night.  It was really weird.  First of all, I awoke and glanced at my watch and thought it said 4AM and I'm telling myself, no, sleep for a bit more.  I complete the in the middle of the night task and crawl back in to bed.  Looking at the clock by the bed, I see it was only a 12:20AM.  So yay, I can go back to sleep.  But then I go in to this really weird dream.  My sister is pushing me to go to a conference with her and I don't want to go.  We are both together at a church service and I see her up on stage talking with the pastor, but don't think anything of it.  I see a post card about the conference and I look at it - and this is where it gets weird.  Remember the situation at the men's conference I wrote about the other day? (I am still seeing posts on it!) THIS post card had NUDITY - just showed the top part of the body of women's boobs!  Just the side view and it was encouraging women to come to this life-changing conference.  What in the world?  Then my sister came back to where I was and said that the pastor was going to talk to me.  And then I woke up.  Talk about a weird dream!!  For one, she wouldn't go to such a conference, and neither would I - so all I can figure out is that it was caused by the sword-swallower at the men's conference had taken his shirt off.   See, I dream weird dreams without meanings too!   I have no idea what could come from that dream!  Could it have been that I overate at the dinner last night with our friends?  

Ephesians 6:11 (NKJV):  Put on the whole armor of God, that you may stand against the wiles of the devil. 

That devil is a sneaky one!  He will throw ideas in to your head that you would not have even thought of.  The devil will tempt you with saying words that you wish you could take back; attitudes you wish you didn't have, and actions you never in your right mind want to take.  Some days I fall for the 'wiles of the devil' because I don't stop and ask God about the long-term effects of what I'm doing.  Sometimes it affects just me, but many times, it affects a lot of other people.  Some are short-term, some are long-term.  

Pause for a moment and think of some things (you know you can!) that you wish you hadn't done, and if you were in your 'right mind' would not have done.  If you had paused and questioned it, would you have still done it?  There are many things that come to my mind that I wish I hadn't done, wish I could recall the words spoken that shouldn't have been, attitudes I've had that I knew better of but thought I was right.  Yeah, we all let down our guard at some times.  And that is why Paul tells us in Ephesians to put on the whole armor of God.  What is that armor?  Let's look further!

Ephesians 6:14-18 (NKJV):  Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one.  And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, and being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints....

So put on truth around your waist so that truth is told, a breastplate to protect your heart, sandals on your feet to protect the as you walk, and take hold of your shield of faith and believe that all that the enemy throws at you will be thrown off by the Word.  Put on your helmet that protects your mind in Him, and hold on to the sword of the Spirit - and be ready to fight for truth in all things.  We are called to daily put on the armor of God so that we can live rightly for Him.  And I confess, some days I forget to put it on - which is why I sometimes get dragged into some of these drama situations.  And I'll leave that right there.

Our trainer may be coming over tonight for dinner and to hang out with us.  It always depends if his girlfriend (who is a waitress at a restaurant) works or not.  I think a lot of it is he just wants company, but we love him and enjoy him hanging out with us.  If she works, he may be over, if not, he probably won't.  And that's ok.  I'm still going to put on a casserole. 

Today is a great-granddaughter's birthday and although I remembered earlier in the week, didn't get a gift sent.  Checked with my granddaughter last night and I see she responded.  Will either order something or plan a road trip a weekend soon.  Will see.  Cheaper to just send a gift. :-)

And with that - I'm getting off here - got a bit more reading to do; hubby just left for his Bible study and I am alone and don't need to tart work for about another 20 minutes or so.  Love these few minutes of just me and God.  I open up my windows and just talk with God, looking up to the sky.  

Hope your day is amazing - don't forget to put on your armor!

Blessings!

My taste buds must be off....

 I can actually taste my coffee this morning and there is nothing in the cup but coffee!  Same brand, but one of those hmmmm - wonder what is working this morning.  Now for it to keep me awake today.

Maybe I screwed up my taste buds last night for dinner.  I'm not a big fan of fish, but I do enjoy cod, like mahi mahi and salmon.  Canned tuna I used to eat a lot of but not so much anymore.  Love mackeral when I make it into mackeral patties (doesn't that sound good?).  Or salmon patties.  I can't think of other fish at the moment that I enjoy.  Last night I fixed trout.  I haven't fixed trout in over 40 years and obviously my taste buds have changed a lot since then.  Guess what.  I'll pass on it.  One of the dinners I get each week had trout, which I fixed last night.  It was a nice size piece; about 14" long, 3" wide....but I could only eat about 3/4 of it before I just quit and gave the rest to hubby.  Won't be ordering that one again.  If I don't like it, no one gets it.  It's just the way it is.  It jut didn't have taste to me.  It took me forever to eat fish again.

I can remember the first time I had mahi mahi.  We had just moved out here and hubby had taken me to ... the name escapes me now, because it is no longer there, but similar to Pappadeaux's.  The special was mahi mahi and I said no.... and because he heard my squeamishness at fish..... the waiter told me if I would try the mahi mahi, he would give me a free glass of champagne.  Well, duh.  I tried it and I liked it.  I have fixed it a few times here at home, grilling it, but not often.  I do fix salmon at least once a month I'd guess.  And you know where I find the best grilled salmon - and I've tried it numerous places.  

We've got a few busy days this weekend.  I had my training last night (chest/triceps) and then came home and cooked dinner.  Tonight after work we are meeting up with friends for dinner and catching up with them. Friday night our trainer is coming over to hang out with us.  Going to miss that kid - he moves to Chicago in about a month.  He's like a grandson to us and he actually enjoys hanging out with us.  Saturday morning we plan on going to Canaan in the Desert with the two couples from the RV park.  We firmed that up yesterday.  Then brunch with them.  Then Saturday evening the daughter and her family here will be taking hubby (and I) out to dinner for hubby's birthday, which is Monday.  Sunday is church in the morning and who knows what after that.

Yeah, hubby turns 87 on Monday.  He's in great shape, according to his doctor, and can live to 100 - but I also look at all the medications he takes to be 'healthy'.  So what really IS healthy?  Taking lots of medications to stay that way or just eating and exercising and living that way?  Tough thought.  His BP has always been low... and I am keeping my comments to myself, although they are threatening to come out.  But he also has to take BP pills because of the aneurysm near his heart, to keep it from clotting and moving.  He takes two cholesterol pills, although the doctor says his high cholesterol is hereditary.  And keeps it really low with the medication.  Actually there are only two things that concern me with hubby... well, only two that I will mention..... his balance - if he carries something very far, he loses his balance and falls; and his mind - he asks questions about things that I know he knows the answer to. Of course if I comment he knows that answer, he responds that 'he is just trying to get me to talk to him'.  Like I don't talk to him.  But that's what he tells his doctor.  His 'memory test' with the doctor is his doctor will come in and talk a few minutes with him; leave the room, come back a few minutes later and ask him what they talked about, and of course hubby knows this so I am going to 'assume' he keeps running the conversation over and over in his mind so that he can tell the doctor when he returns.  I 'assume' it because that is what I would do!  But he does ask a lot of questions on things that I know he knows the answer to.  Or knew the answer to at one time.  I get forgetful too, so am not pointing fingers! I've told my boss that when I start forgetting to schedule things, its time to tell me to think about retiring.  And I'm ok with that.  

Psalm 23:1-3 (NKJV):  The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me to lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still waters.  He restores my soul; He leads me in the paths of righteousness for His name's sake.

Psalm 23:1-3 (NLT):  The Lod is my Shepherd; I have all that I need.  He lets me rest in green meadows; He leads me beside peaceful streams. He renews my strength. He guides me along right paths, bringing honor to His name.

Have you ever wondered how the different versions of the Bible say the scriptures?  I've just given you two - the NKJV and NLT - for the first three verses of the 23rd Psalm.  I think most of us have memorized it from the KJV or the NKJV.  But 'listen' to how The Passion Translation (TPT) says it:

Psalm 23:1-3 (TPT):  Yahweh is my best friend and my shepherd. I always have more than enough. He offers a resting place for me in his luxurious love. His tracks take me to an oasis of peace near the quiet brook of bliss. That's where he restores and revives my life. He opens before me the right path and leads me along in his footsteps of righteousness so that I can bring honor to his name.

We always go to the familiar, don't we?  I do enjoy reading TPT because - even though it is a lot more words - it breaks it down.  But let's take it a step further.  One of the classes I have taught had us take the 23rd Psalm and write it in our own words.  I don't know if I can do that now.... but let's try how that could be....

Psalm 23:1-3 (MY - My Version):  Jesus is my best friend and guide.  He always gives me all that I need and more.  As He loves me, His arms give me a secure place to rest.  He shows me the way wherein I should walk, places that bring peace and refreshment to my heart. He restores my life and encourages me to keep going. He shows me the way to go, to speak or not speak, and walks with me to help me in my journey, that I can honor His name.

Ok - perhaps I got a bit wordy - but you know from reading my logs, I AM WORDY.  But you get the jest, right?  So why don't you take a moment and think how you would personalize the first three versus of Psalm 23.  Give it some thought - and write down what it means to you.  I've heard others write 'Jesus is my gardener, and He takes care of me...'   Write it from your heart.  What does it mean to you?

So now I've given you some 'homework'. If you would, leave a comment about what you wrote. How did that affect you? Did it cause you to pause and think about how good our Shepherd is to us?  

Blessings!

There was more to the story....

 Ah, yesterday I mentioned about the men's conference that had the male pole dancer? Well, that wasn't entirely true.... he was a sword swallower, (although his professional life was a male stripper, which is where this started, I think) and that was all he was doing. He wasn't dancing on the pole, but whatever it was, was construed to be sinful.  The pastor who called it out to the senior pastor was called back to the stage and the two talked it out; and it was said it should have been handled differently.  It was talked out publicly because the situation happened publicly.  It was a bad choice to have a sword swallower with that background, but, the right thought was there.

Which is what we are to do when there is a disagreement with others.  If someone says something to us that offends us, and they do it privately, we are to go to them privately and discuss it, rebuke them or whatever it was.  If it is done publicly, it should be discussed or rebuked, or whatever, publicly.  But I'm pretty sure that doesn't mean Facebook.

Matthew 18:15-17 (NKJV):  Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained a brother. But if he does not hear you, take one or two more, that by the mouths of two or three witnesses every word may be established. And if he refuses to hear them, tell it to the church. But if he refuses to even hear the church, let him be to you like a heathen or a tax collector.

I heard of a pastor (he was my sister's pastor years ago) who had a youth leader in his church who had a girlfriend.  No problem there.  But then, the pastor heard that the two had moved in together.  Now we all know that living together without marriage is a sin, according to the Bible.  He called the two to his office and discussed it with them.  They refused to get their own places. Because they were active in the church as leaders and had let it be known they were living together, one Sunday morning he called them to the front of the church and talked with them about being a leader in the church and living together, and asked them again to separate or get married.  They both refused and walked out of the church.  I know that sounds harsh and unreal, but what the pastor did was biblical.  It's just no one is bold enough to call out people who are living in sin.  This pastor had to be true to God, the Bible, and what he believed.  Living with others without marriage is a sin.  Period.  He spoke to them privately first.  But, we can not have leaders in the church who disobey what God says in His Word.  

I could share more about the reasons why two people who are not married should not be having sex, but that is deeper than I want to go this morning.  But what I will say, is that when it is confessed, God is faithful and just, and He will forgive the sin.  Glory to God.

I had a meeting yesterday with the person I am going to be covering for 8 weeks.  Somehow in her new walk with God, and asking me questions over the past few years, she had declared me her spiritual mentor; her sister in Christ.  That is a whole nother level that I had not considered.  But, regardless, I try to answer her questions as best I can and give references how to confirm it.  She had 7 - yes, I had said 7 - pages of instructions for me to follow while she is out for the various meetings.  Dare I say I am terrified?  I don't do any of the things she does!  I don't upload this or that; I don't create this or that form - well, guess what?  This is going to be a learning time - and I really don't want to learn! This is where I hear that voice in my mind "you need to retire and not have to do this" - and yet, it is a minor thing, it is just my insecurities and the unknown that scares me.  As we brought the 1/2 hour meeting that lasted 90 minutes to a close, she asked me to pray for her.  As we had finished up, we talked about churches and classes, and other things related to Jesus and His faithfulness.  So I prayed for her and her upcoming surgery as we brought our meeting to a close.  I probably should have asked her to be praying for me while I do her job!

My joints were popping this morning when I got out of bed - with a bit of difficulty, thanks to my trainer.  And I go back tonight for more - but at least it is upper body tonight.  I have got to start doing more exercises here at home since I don't get back to the gym.  I need to do something.  I'm a lot stronger than I was a year ago, but body shape sure hasn't changed.  I love my food.  But I do have biceps now.  They are under the fat hanging on my arms.  Sigh.

Today is hump day and I know I still have a lot to do when I sign on the computer this morning. For one, I got the approval for my boss' travel to Colorado so need to get his airline, his hotel, and his car rental scheduled today.  I don't like doing those either, but at least it isn't frequent.  I don't think I have any meetings today, but I still have several trainings I need to work in the day.  I don't want to use MY time off work to complete them - and I need to get on them, even one a day.  

And with that, I think I'll sign off for today and jump in the shower.  It's going to be a good day.  I'm going to believe it.  And you should too.

Blessings!

Overwhelmed is a good word

 for what I have been feeling with work lately, and unfortunately, it isn't going to get much better any time soon! It seemed I got 'hit' with one thing after another yesterday to do.  I usually skim emails before I turn off the work computer, but I didn't even bother yesterday, for I knew there were still some things to do that I didn't get done.  And throw in travel for one of my bosses, which also means a hotel stay and a rental car.... and all that has to be approved BEFORE I can make the reservations... yeah, I was feeling pretty overwhelmed.  But, today is a new day and I'm going to face it with a fresh outlook.  I will review the old emails first to see what I didn't get done yesterday, and then start on todays.  I'm more concerned over what the next two months will be like as I will also be covering for my friend who is having back surgery - and when she asked and I said ok, I was thinking her one doctor she reports to.  But, she supports 7. Or is it 8.  And, she has roped me in to a couple meetings that require minutes, plus a couple other things.  She keeps giving me access to all these team folders which I don't want.  This is definitely going to be a 'Lord, HELP' couple of months!  See, I've already started whining!  

My trainer really worked me out last night - especially on the leg press!  I was already doing 180 pounds - and what does he decide to do?  He pushes back on it while I'm pushing out!  I asked him just what did he think he was doing?  He laughed and told me to keep pushing.  I can tell already my legs are going to be sore somewhat today.  But, I do need to get more exercise than I am getting.  Two 30 minute sessions a week just don't cut it to make changes - well, real changes, anyway.  It takes effort.  To change how this body performs I must put forth the effort to keep it strong and healthy. 

Just like our minds - if we don't put good stuff in it - we will soon falter and not understand things.  Now these words are just my opinion, so don't go quoting me and getting me in trouble.  I do not need anyone's help to do that, I can do that very well on my own.  BUT - I feel that if all one does is sit and watch TV shows, or play games on TV, they will lose the ability to socialize with others.  They won't have anything to talk about except the TV show.  Does that make sense?  

Now hubby and I both read books; granted he reads other books as well as Christian books.  We both enjoy reading, myself moreso than him, I think.  My daughter used to read, but no one reads as much as my oldest son does.  And I like to think that he got that from me.  My mama read a lot too - mainly Grace Livingston Hill books - and in that time frame, I read every single one of her books.  I enjoyed the clean romance of the stories.  In high school I read mysteries and a couple other fiction books that I recall.  I just love to read and that is how I will be spending my retirement years - reading. :-)  Like that will happen any time soon. So I read when I can.

Romans 13:8 (NKJV):  Owe no one anything except to love one another, for he who loves another has fulfilled the law.

One could read that scripture and think it means don't owe them any money, but if you read on in the scriptures following it means more than that.

Romans 13:9-10 (NKJV): For the commandments, "You shall not commit adultery", "You shalt not commit murder", "You shall not steal", "You shall not bear false witness", "You shall not covet", and if there is any other commandment,  are all summed up in this saying, namely, "You shall love your neighbor as yourself".  Love does no harm to a neighbor; therefore, love is the fulfillment of the law.

We are called to love others.  And, sometimes that love has to be from a distance.  And I think I will leave that right there.

I was shocked to read last night that a megachurch had a men's conference - and in that conference the lead pastor of that church had a male pole dancer.  He was called out by Pastor Mark Driscoll (the pastor was), and Dr Driscoll was told he was dismissed.  Who in their right mind would hire a pole dancer for a bunch of Christian men at a men's conference?  It has been interesting the comments that were left.  Some say the rebuke should have been done privately.  (To me, that makes no sense for then the men would never know it was wrong) Others say that Dr. Driscoll was right in calling out the pastor - and I agree with that.  As Christians we are to stand guard over what is right and when we see what is wrong and against the Word of God, we are called to speak up and not hide it under a rug.  Sometimes that can cause rifts, but it is always best to stand up for the Word of God and what it says.

And I will just put this here - when people do or say things that are against the Word of God, we are to call them out for their sin.  Yes, we may get their rebuke, but it is because they do not acknowledge their own sin and they know they are guilty and will take revenge on the one calling them out.   It is so easy to fall in to the ways of the world.

Romans 12:2 (NKJV):  And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.

Don't be like the world and talk like the world; you are not of this world.  Don't let the world drag you down into its clutches.  Our home is in Heaven; we are not of this world.  Something to think about.

Blessings!