I am facing this week with a lot of apprehension. Today I start covering for my friend who is out for back surgery. It actually got moved from Wednesday to next Saturday morning, but she opted to go ahead and take this week off as she is in so much pain. I haven't gotten around to read what 'again scoliosis is, but add in they found she had fractured a vertebrae, I am sure she is n a lot of pain. She says she will be jumping online about once a week to check on things. I'm hoping I won't have to do much for her 8 doctors. My people keep me busy enough. And I have a bit of a headache this morning to start with. Oh well.
Church message was good yesterday; Pastor Mike spoke (our worship pastor) and he shared about being in the Presence of God and just worshipping. So many times we run to God with our problems or requests, but don't spend time worshipping. Just sit at His feet and worship. As you know, I love to do that, but just never have the time to do what I want to do. I still can't figure out how when I was going to college, teaching classes at church and taking classes, how in the world did I find time to spend an entire day just worshiping and praying and praising God. I'm lucky to get a few hours in here most weekends! Have I lost time in that 24 hour time span? I still can't figure out how I did it.
But I really wish I could capture that time again. Has the hurt and pain I've experienced from others' words and actions dulled my 'want to'? Perhaps. I was thinking yesterday during church, as the message was being spoken, how unworthy I feel to seek the One who knows all and yet, still loves me. My mind always goes back to 2013 when my little sister lashed in to me and said things that robbed my breath. Cut to the quick, even though I have forgiven her (and received other words from her since!) she has never acknowledged what she did to me was wrong. But I know what it did to me. I have been fighting to get back what she took from me ever since. It's hard to explain. I love my little sister and there isn't anything I wouldn't do for her. But that is what I thought about during the message. And I realize I need to quit thinking about it; I need to quit giving her words control over me. And it's going to stop. I just need to figure out how I can spend quality time with Jesus. He will guide me where He wants me.
Many times things happen that devastate us, like what I briefly touched on (again) above. But it is what we do with that devastation that makes the difference. I've survived from it. Broken-hearted, to be sure, but my Bible says that Jesus is near to the broken-hearted, so I know that He is near me. Have I allowed my pain, my busyness, and other things, to get between my time of worship and intercession? I wonder. I find myself for some time now, writing in here every day, instead of whenever I had something to share. But what if I missed? What if I went a week without writing and then only wrote occasionally. I could gain back 45-60 minutes every morning if I stopped. Is it really that important?
Ah... but I write because it allows me to share my life. It was a saying in the Jennifer Lopez and Richard Gere movie "Shall we dance" that I often think about. Susan Sarandon was married to Richard Gere in the movie and she hired the private investigator... blah blah (don't want to give the movie away if you haven' seen it)... and she said these words in the movie.....
"We need a witness to our lives. There's a billion people on the planet...I mean, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you are promising to care about everything. The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things.... all of it, all of the time, every day. You're saying 'Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go un-witnessed, because I will be your witness."
Yes, that little blurb got my attention. And yes, she's talking about marriage and the witness you are to each other. But this blog shares my life and shows that 'I lived' and you are my witness.
But an ever greater witness to our lives is Jesus Christ. He is the author and perfector of our faith. He is our Restorer of broken dreams, our Hope when all feels lost. He is our Healer, our Strength when we are weak, He keeps us going day after day, because He loves us so much. He is the only One in whom to lean. He is the only One who matters.
Why not have some time with Jesus this morning, and lavish your love upon Him?
Blessings!
