Running a bit behind....

 My morning in here has been interrupted a few times and yet here I am, just running a bit behind schedule.  Needed to bandage up hubby's knees before he headed off to his bible study this morning. They look like they are starting to heal pretty good and he is doing fine.  

Back to work today and already have a few meetings I need to schedule because I didn't get them completed before I signed off yesterday.  4PM I was just ready to get off the computer - and I did.  I should have finished up the meetings, but 'it is what it is' - right?

We had a nice 'happening' yesterday.  One of our grandsons with his partner and son came over for a visit.  I think they stayed at least an hour with us.  It was nice to meet our great-grandson and hold him.  We were asked for 'no kisses' for him - and that was ok.  New parents are always over-protective.  LOL I'm sure I was too.  It was fun to see them, and I think the visit went well.  Got some ideas for Christmas gifts too, although he will only be about 7 months old, I think.  I let them choose some blankets I had made since at the baby shower I didn't know what sex the baby was.  I have gotten lazy with making quilts; I'm behind, in other words.  I need to work on a quilt for this little one at least, although there are two others I'd like to complete as well.  But the other two aren't for family so it doesn't matter to me as much.

I have Needles of Hope in the morning and I'm hoping to get some things done afterwards.  But, I also need to finish up the message I am to give next month.  I think it is November 9th that is my first Sunday at the RV park for this season.  Only one in November, but have 3 in December; 2 at one, and 1 at the other.  I need to get focused and get them done.  

When did my life get so full that I don't have time for things?  Twenty years ago I was teaching classes, driving to work, working all day, driving home, baking and making things - and still had time to get things completed.  Have I slowed down so much or what is my problem?  I'm struggling with this lack of time to do things.  I think a lot of it is hubby wants me to watch movies with him. And, yes, I usually crochet while we watch the movies - but that isn't getting other things done - and crochet has been new the past few years.  I haven't done it as much - I didn't think - but just remembered I have been crocheting for baby gifts lately - so that has taken my time.  I'm nearly done with the ones I have for Morgan - her baby shower is next month.

I need to make a couple batches of peach muffins today - hubby is about out and I can put the rest in the freezer.  I want to start on the breads as well and get them in the freezer.  So much I want to do. I need to figure out my time and not try to do it all at once but work in the schedule.  I used to be real good at time management - but over time - ironically - I have gotten so bad at managing my time.  I have a diamond art project I want to work on, and I know that I will not get it completed.  I have everything laid out to start on it - but it takes total attention and time.  For this one, it takes probably about 40 hours to complete.  I have finished one, and have it framed.  I want to complete this one before Christmas - but will see.

My fasting and going through the book has been put on hold for now.  I've been too distracted to focus on it and make the choices I need to.  I've got to pull it together.  Now that doctor appointments are slowing down and other distractions won't be as bad, perhaps I can think about when and what I want to do.  There was a time when 'time' wasn't an issue - I am struggling now that it is an issue.  Have to look ahead and see what is going on.   Will talk more about that another time.

Started reading a new book last night by Dr. Hal Sacks.  It's called Unshakeable.  I got through two chapters last night but kept falling asleep - and it was only 7:30PM!  It was interesting and I want to get back to reading it - but I was exhausted for some reason. I was in bed by 8PM and I slept until nearly 5AM this morning.  I hope I can get some energy today.

I know this is short - but I need to get going on my work day.  

Got the text from my daughter and SIL that they are enroute now to New Mexico.  I will be taking care of their cats and the plants this next week. The current plan is for them to come back on Friday.  I think we are doing thanksgiving there this year o they 'have' to come back! LOL

The youngest son and his wife are back home from their travels.  Traveling is good, but I do miss my family being 'here' when they are out of town.

And with that - I'm going to jump off - got to get busy.

Have an amazing day.  Do something good for someone.

Blessings!

A day I wasn't expecting....

 I didn't get anything done yesterday I had planned to do - other than getting to stay in here a little bit longer.  My entire day got turned upside down - and I'm not complaining, just stating facts.

GOOD NEWS - We headed to go see Dr. Mark at noon (appt @ 1PM) and got there a little early.  Dr Mark comes in and says "I don't know what happened, but all the test results are back to normal."  I looked at him and go "DUH, we prayed over him and God healed him!"  Truly - all his numbers are right where they should be - and Dr. Mark said he didn't need to see him again until after the first of the year.  My next appointment is February 9, so there was an opening after mine and we put hubby there so that we only have to make one trip to the doctor.  Guess I will need to plan on taking that day off work. Praise God for healing his body.

After we left the doctor's office and walked to the car, I was in the car first and waiting for hubby to get in it. He didn't, and I kept looking around to see where he was.  I had parked next to a curbed rock divider (separating the parking area in sections).  Finally I saw movement - and jumped out of the car.  Hubby had fallen in the rocks and had hit against the car on the other side of the rocks.  But, he fell knees first on the rocks.  A lady in that car felt it being hit and jumped up and she and I helped him up.  His knees were a bloody mess, literally.  I turned him right around and we walked back in to Dr. Mark's office.  This is why I love Dr. Mark.  He didn't have a patient after hubby so it was perfect timing.  He got hubby up on their 'thing' (can't think what it is called) in the room, had him lay back, and for over an hour, Dr. Mark patiently worked on both knees, pulling out rocks, gently washing, cleansing the areas, putting antibiotics on, and bandaging both knees.  He cut away the peeled skin flaps.  When we finally left, it was probably around 3PM-3:30PM.  We had to stop at Walgreens so that he could get a Tdap shot as it had been several years.  I picked up bandages and tape so that I could fix it again. Dr. Mark had told hubby to get in the shower and let the water hit the knees before taking the bandages off so that they didn't stick, wash out good with soap to get the rest of the little pieces of gravel he could not get out, and then I was to bandage back up.  

Being the knees and the movement causes the bandages to slide down the leg, created problems, but we finally got him home, showered, and re-bandaged.  He didn't go to church last night, but I did.  He managed to get through the night, but when he came in this morning, both bandages had slid off the knee cap.  I told him to cut them off and let the air hit.  He will take a shower and wash them again, and I'll add antibiotics (I have a cream that Dr. Mark said was ok to use) - and suggested he let the air dry it as much as possible.  He isn't going anywhere today so should be ok.  I love, too, that Dr. Mark told him that if he has any problems, to come back to the office and he will look at the knees.

So that was our day yesterday.  I was with hubby from noon until I was able to leave for our group at church.  I got absolutely nothing done that I had planned - including baking cookies for group. I bought a package of Oreos to take.  He is doing fine this morning, I think. He groaned at times during the night, which woke me up, but I think he slept fairly well with the pain.

The youngest made it home yesterday from his travels and first stop (I think) was to see his new granddaughter.  He already has a name for her.  We chatted a bit last night via text. 

My daughter and SIL leave tomorrow morning early to head to New Mexico for a week to visit family there.  Get one back and another leaves.  

Speaking of family - I think I mentioned before a grandson had contacted me last week and wanted to come visit and bring his baby over to meet his great-grandparents.  He touched base again last night and they will be coming over around 11AM today, I think. I told him I had a dr appointment at 10:30 but would be home by 10:45, so he said they would be over after that. I'm thinking 11AM-ish.  We haven't met this little one yet so I'm excited.  I have some baby blankets and will pull some out to see if they want any for him.  When they had the baby shower, I didn't know what sex the baby was so don't think I brought any blankets I had made.  If they don't want any, that's fine, but I will offer.

And today I am back to work in about 20 minutes.  I cleared out some messages from my phone last night. Today I'll skim the deleted ones to make sure I didn't hit one that I need to do something with. My finger swiping sometimes gets carried away.  I have things to get done, but nothing crazy, I don't think. I saw I have a few meetings I need to get scheduled first thing. 

This year is flying by, for sure.  I knew it was coming, but when I saw the email from Lori about Needles of Hope being this Saturday, I was surprised it was time already.  Where is all the time going!  Saturday is November 1st!  Have we packed out days so full that they days no longer stand alone but run together?

I slept a little later this morning as hubby kept me awake most of the night with his groaning and tossing and turning. I was afraid I might hit one of the knees so stayed totally at the edge of the bed, giving hubby full rein of the rest of the room.  And he took it. And we have a king size bed!  Not getting much reading done this morning.  I hope I'm back on track mentally tomorrow and can dive back into my usual routine.

But, for now, I need to jump off here, fire up the work computer, and get dressed.  I guess this is somewhat informative, and yet, full of ramblings once again.  Maybe, just maybe, I'll have something better to share tomorrow.  Until then,

Blessings!

A day off work....

I decided to take a day off work.  Hubby has his doctor's appointment, for which I must go with him. It will be good to have all the lab reports from both LabCorp and Sonora Quest in one location and let Dr. Mark tell us what the end result is. We are believing that all things are back to normal.  Don't understand the whys of what happened, or hows of it getting 'fixed', but we will at least have some information when we return home.  Right now I'm more confused on the time.... I wrote 12PM on one calendar, and 1PM on all the other calendars. So which one is correct. Hubby questioned me yesterday and I told him 1PM.  I saw the 12PM on the handwritten calendar this morning so I asked him, and he said 1PM.  I hope to get him to call the doctor's office to confirm - don't want to be late.  He can go to the kidney doctor to have blood drawn all by himself.  Thank goodness.  This 24x7 is making me crazy.

Since I am taking today off work, I am on my second cup of coffee.  I am hoping that I can sort out and wrap some of the Christmas gifts I have stacked here on the floor.  With my family continuously growing, I have lots to buy for, but at least I've gotten an early start - and I am buying less this year.  Whether it is believed or not. LOL

I was going to cancel 'girls night out' last night as I had a training at 5PM, but when hubby kept asking/pushing on whether or not I was going - I decided to just go.  My daughter and I had a nice dinner together and then I came home - got here about 10 minutes before hubby did. A few minutes reprieve, if you will.  I rarely get on facebook anymore - but for some reason I got to watching reels and scanning - until hubby, who had also been on his phone ever since he came home (and often spends the evening doing it), berated me with "well, if you aren't going to talk with me I'm going to bed!"  Rolling my eyes at him, I commented back - if we are both on our phones, we don't normally 'talk'!  (I had asked about his study and our friend when he first got home.) He stormed off; I noticed the time and decided to just go to bed as well.  So I did and was nearly asleep before he finally made it to bed.  Geez.  

I woke up at 12:15, 2:15, 4AM; and finally arose at 5-ish.  Of course hubby got up right after me so that he could bring me my coffee.  

I really do miss the days when I would arise at 4AM and do my quiet time for an hour; at 5AM start getting dressed for work, and 6AM get out the door to head to work.  The hour I had alone in my car with God and just thinking - was precious time.  It's hard to explain.  I never wanted to work from home.  I still don't want to work from home, but it has great advantages, especially with doctor appointments or needing to run to the grocery.  I miss the social interaction.  I don't care much for being in a prison and glued to the computer all day. I'll leave that there.  Some days is worse than others.  I am NOT at his beck and call, although he thinks I am. His friends have either moved away, had a stroke, or has Alzheimer, and there is no other man that he meets for a meal or coffee.  I miss those mornings when he was gone 3-4 hours to chat with his friends.  He's only gone Tuesday nights and Friday mornings now.  It makes for very long weeks, if you know what I mean.

Am I complaining? Probably.  I keep encouraging him to ask other men who are retired to meet with him, but he hasn't.  Yet.  Since we are making friends at our church, perhaps he will now.  Even with working, I love having breathing room.

I have decided to do a 40 day fast.  I'm using the book The Call to Die by David Nasser.  I'm struggling to determine what to fast from.  In the introduction, he says it doesn't have to be food (which my immediate thought was BBCD - no bread, beef, chocolate, or desserts) but then again, Thanksgiving is within that forty days, and I need to bake cookies, like today to take tonight.  I could give up sodas, but I rarely drink them. Coffee?  I would, but hubby would not be happy if he couldn't bring my coffee every morning. I'm still struggling to find a specific 'thing', but I'm leaning towards just changing up what I do each morning in here.  I read in a couple books, pray, read my Bible (but not always if I run out of time), and write in here.  Do I give this up for 40 days?   I'm thinking of cutting back my extra reading (instead choose to read it at night) and specifically spend time reading my Bible, reading the daily in the book, praying, and of course writing in here.  Yeah, I could share what I'm learning, right?  I'm actually starting it tomorrow, I think.  I want to determine what to fast from before I commit to the 40 days.  I miss the days when my life was more simple. I've made it more complicated, I think.

My youngest son should be making it home from all his travels some time today.  It will be good to have him home again.  He can take care of his daughter and the 'name situation'.  When I asked her on Sunday what she was going to do.... it was "I don't know" which means she probably won't do anything.  I get so frustrated with her and her indecision and reluctance to do anything.  And I'll leave that there.

Matthew 16:24 (NIV):  "Then Jesus said to His disciples, 'If anyone would come after Me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow Me.'"

We are so self-centered that denying ourselves anything is hard.  Perhaps that is why I am struggling on what to fast from.  Is it that I don't want to make it difficult for myself?  Is it that I am afraid of failing?  I can remember times when I've fasted and succeeded.  What is my problem?  Other than I usually get 'push back' from 'someone' about fasting.  I'm going to starve or waste away, if I give up food, right?  Sigh. I keep asking God what does He want me to fast from.  I need to shut down this computer and sit and listen for His response. I want to do it all!  Fasting used to be like second nature for me. At least once a week I was fasting.  Then, life put it on pause.  Getting back to it is difficult.  

I need to sit myself down and talk to God and listen to what He has to say to me.  I can't live this life in my own way, as much as I try to.  If I am following after Jesus, then I must lay down the things I hold on to (emotions, attitudes, etc.) that keep me from emptying myself, and just do it.  

What about you? What is holding you back from denying yourself and taking up the cross of Jesus.  Does it even cross your mind?  I have struggled with this for some time, and still struggle with it.  The human side fights with the spiritual side, right?  I WANT to do it, but allow my life circumstances overrule what I feel I should do.  I've got to take a firm stand. I'm hoping that going through this book will help me refocus and get back on track.  Following Jesus is a full time job, not a one time stand.  Maybe tomorrow I will remember and will write what I have (finally) chosen to fast from.  It doesn't have to be food.  I just need to make that call.  

How about fasting with me?  I have lots of things to pray for, I have relatives with medical issues I want to see miraculously healed.  God can do all things, what am I willing to give up to ask for it?  Ouch.  This can hurt, can't it!  It will be worth it.  No matter if God answers the request the way I want Him to, or He resolves it in His way..... His way is always better.  

Increase my faith, Lord.  Keep my eyes on You and not on the issues surrounding me.  Your Word says You work all things for my good.  I am believing You for Your Word.  Hear my prayers, O Lord, change ME, and bring hope and healing to those who need the touch of Your hand, the glance from Your eyes. Help us to still believe in miracles.

Blessings!

What is it about 2:15AM time frame?

 Once again I was awakened around 2:15AM and could not go back to sleep.  We went to bed around 8:45PM, which is not unusual.  Is it that my body is now deciding 5-6 hours of sleep is all it needs?  This isn't the first time, and I'm sure I've written about it before.  Personally, I'd rather sleep to 4AM as usual... but, after lying in bed another 30 minutes, I got my body up and brought it in here.  Thought about trying to go back to sleep, but decided to spend it praying for awhile before I get started on my morning readings.  

One of my readings this morning was being 'all in'.  What does that mean?  Am I (or are you) all in - to the death, if necessary - to follow Jesus?  It was interesting that I read about being 'all in' in two different books today, by two different authors.  So yes, it has given me pause.  I know I have mentioned many times that Jesus is my All in All - and He is.  Or should I just be honest enough to say, "I want Him to be my All in All", for you know as well as I do, that I fail many times to do the right things. Not from lack of 'want to', but because I'm human and I choose the wrong thing at times.

I read one story of two young girls who lived in a country that hated Christians.  But they were Christians, and they have driven out of their country to another, to attend a conference by Christian leaders.  After the conference they ran into one of the leaders at a cafe and they shared that the authorities in their country were tracking them down.  They were asked, "Why don't you defect?"  Their response?  "Who would tell our people about Jesus if we did?"  If captured, they would be imprisoned, or killed.  It didn't matter. They wanted to tell the people about Jesus.

Wow. They were willing to put their lives on the line for Jesus.  And many of us are afraid - because of the 'authorities' here in our own 'free' country to even mention His name!  The name of Jesus .... are you afraid to say it in public?  Are you hesitant to pray in public because you are afraid people are watching you and don't want them talking about you, ridiculing you? 

I called out a pastor one time.  Several years ago my daughter went to McDonald's on a Sunday morning to grab breakfast, and she saw this pastor get his order inside McDonald's, sit down and start eating.  He didn't pray.  After she told me about it, I confronted him and told him that it doesn't matter if it was 'just' a McMuffin - he is being watched and when he didn't pause to pray, even over his egg sandwich, it was noticed.  Are we not thankful for even a small morsel of food?

Hubby and I always pray before our meal, whether in a restaurant or fast food place, or at home.  We are thankful that God provides for us.  One time at an Arby's restaurant, of all places, we prayed and started to eat and an older gentleman came up to us and said that he watched us and when we prayed, he realized how easy it is NOT to pray in a public place (because he hadn't).  Fast food is still food, right?  

My friends and co-workers whom I meet for lunch on occasion, they know I will interrupt conversations once our food is delivered and will pray before I will 'allow' them to eat. They never ridicule me.  I have done it enough they don't even start to eat; they wait for me to pray.  It only takes a moment to say, "Lord, thank you for this food. Bless it to our bodies. Bless the hands that prepared it for us. In Jesus' name, Amen."  Does it feel awkward sometimes?  Yes. Depending on whom we are with, hubby and I will sometimes look at each other and just nod, meaning, 'say it to yourself'.  Some people just dive in and don't wait, especially at a long table where you don't know everyone and they don't know you.

Changing the subject, last night we had a nice evening at the daughter's.  We took pictures of those relatives that had passed away and we shared who they were and a story about them. I hadn't thought much about how many of those close to me had passed away already.  My mama and dad, my oldest brother, my older sister, my youngest brother and his three children. (I still choke up when I share about the children.)  I took photos and told our 5 year old granddaughter who they were to her. Oh yeah, I had also found a photo of my dad with his parents - her great-great-great grandparents.  I will scan those photos over to my granddaughter later as she wants to create a generation page to help her daughter know 'from where she came'.  Sounds like they are getting into genealogies.  I'm always happy to share photos and any stories I can remember, which, unfortunately, aren't many.

Genealogy is important.  In fact, Matthew 1:1 starts off with:

Matthew 1:1:  The book of the genealogy of Jesus Christ, the Son of David, the Son of Abraham:

And, of course, Jesus is the Son of God, but to show He was the Son of David, Matthew started his book this way.  Genealogy was important back then.  Remember that the men were called 'son of their father's name' -  for example, Simon, Bar-Jonah.  Bar is 'son of' and Jonah was his father.

Matthew 16:17 (NKJV):  Jesus answered and said to him, "Blessed are you, Simon Bar-Jonah, for flesh and blood has not revealed this to you, but My Father who is in heaven."

Your father's name identified who you were.  Genealogy is important. It tells you not only from whom you came, but who you are and why perhaps, you are the way you are.  Curses of the past are sometimes carried down the line.  I don't know who put alcoholic curses within my family, but it has come down through my siblings into some of our families.  I have prayed many times for that curse to be broken.  And I will continue to pray, that the curse will be broken in this generation.  There are other 'quirks' I've noticed but at the moment, my mind can't think of them.

I think back to my grandparents, how different they were.  My dad's parents were involved in the church (my dad helped build the first church of God in Tennessee at which he was the pastor).  Big families back then.  My dad had 5 brothers and 3 sisters, I think.  They lived in the city and were 'city folk'.  My grandparents were very poor in money, but rich in love and in love for Jesus.

My mother's family were farmers and store owners.  Mama had 6 sisters and 1 brother.  The sisters (all but one) married and worked farms (but 1, and they had a small store in Pikeville).  Granny lived until 1968 and I loved her dearly, but do not remember her talking much.  My grandfather passed away before I was born.  They had a large farm that one of the daughters and her husband lived there with Granny and took care of her.  Sadly, the farm is gone now, as Aunt Margaret and Uncle George's two boys did not want it and have both passed away, without children. I believe an Amish family bought the farm at the auction.  My grandfather built the house Granny lived in when they got married.  The Amish people now use it as a chicken coop.  Unless they tore it down; I don't remember and haven't been back there in over 40 years.  Special memories there with Granny, though.

Maybe someday, if I ever retire, and remember, I should write down some of those memories of visiting Granny (I have the most memories with her) each year on vacation. Ah, my thoughts are seeing Granny sitting in her rocking chair, reading her Bible.  

And with that, I'm going to jump off here and get started on my day.  Wishing you time to think back over special memories of years gone by.  Some memories are hard to get through, but the good ones last forever.  Treasure them, for they have made you who you are.

Blessings!

A busy, lazy day it was

 Yes, we went to church yesterday and then hubby said 'he'd take me out for brunch'.  I really did not want to go, but we went to Cracker Barrel. First time we have been there since the big todo with changes. This one didn't seem to be changed, but it did have a new menu and a couple 'name changes' that I noticed. Unless I just hadn't seen them before.  We both had breakfast and it was fairly good. Like, how bad can you mess up eggs and pancakes, right?  Hubby complained the ham was half the size of before. I don't know; he is the one who always orders lots of food.  We did order the $6 takeout meal of meatloaf and mac & cheese so I didn't have to cook last night.  It was awful.  I don't know what they did to the meatloaf, but I felt queasy after eating it.  Hubby even said his tasted different than before. They used to have good meatloaf; we won't get it again, and we probably won't go back for a long while. We were both disappointed. And it was so crowded.  But I think I will go back and just do the shop - didn't take time to go through the store and it had a lot of fun things in it.

After we got home I drove down to the granddaughters' with the diaper bag and her brother had just arrived as well.  I got to hold and even bottle feed the little one for a little bit. She is so tiny and I am a bit fearful for her, but I have to let that go. It was good to visit a bit before I had to head out.  

Went to visit Ms. Diane after that and stayed about an hour with her.  She's so sad she is in the group home and still 'alone'.  Not sure how many people are in this group home, but each one has a medical issue and are in their own world.  From there I came home and then txt'd Ms. Vicky and she said 'come on over'. So I made the across the yard walk to her place and we visited for about an hour before I came back home.  Hubby & I ate the horrible meat loaf we got from Cracker Barrel and then watched Christmas movies the rest of the evening. I finished up the baby blanket for Morgan's baby shower next month while watching the movies.  That means I did get something done yesterday - visited the two women so I'm good for at least a week or two - and also finished the baby blanket; hubby had me in the same room with him for several hours watching TV.... lol  No baking though.

We've been invited over to the daughter's for dinner tonight after I get done with my training.  Our granddaughter is teaching her daughter about some of the Mexican 'holidays' and the one coming up is 'the day of the dead' or something like that. I forget the Mexican name for it. Anyway, she explained that it is bringing a photo of one of who has passed away, and sharing stories about them.  And I get that part; it is sharing part of the heritage and remembering those who are no longer with us.  I usually just shy away from those things because they do those designs on their bodies, etc.  You know what I'm talking about. No dissing them; I'm not Mexican so it has no meaning for me.  So I will be going through photos today and pulling out a couple.  The ones that have come to my mind are my mama and dad, my older brother, and my baby brother. Now to think of what stories to tell. :-) What to share, I don't know yet.  I remember things frequently about them... but can I today? Will see!

For the Lord is good, and His mercy endureth forever.

No, I didn't look up to see where this is located, but as I sat here and thought about what verse to put in here today, that one popped into my mind.  Our Lord is a good Lord and He is faithful and just, and His mercy does endure forever.  You can cling to that.

We need to step back and look to see where we have placed our lives.  On the carnal side of the world, or on the Lord's side.  Do we let the world lead us, or do we let the Lord lead us?  Oh wretched one we are for many of us allow our emotions, our attitudes, our judgements - and the world - direct our path! We are so wrong to do that!

Picture a line drawn in the sand.  On the left side is the world, the judgements we make about others, the words we speak (and think), our attitudes, the worldly things we hang on to, and hell  ...... and the right side has Jesus, heaven, and much peace of heart, soul, and mind.  Will we cross over that line into the one of joy and peace and heaven? Or will we stay where hell is our future, in torment and wastefulness of life.  Doing good deeds does not get us across the line.  It is total, absolute, surrender to the One who loves us more than we love ourselves.

His mercy does endure forever.  Will you ask for it? Will you seek Him? Will you cross that line?

Blessings!

Church day!

 Mixed emotions this morning - part of me wants to stay home (snuggled here in my warm blanket this cool morning) and the other part wants to go worship Jesus at church.  Yes, I can worship Jesus at home too (maybe that is part of my problem) but the need for community and being with others is necessary to fulfill.  Am I just being lazy?  I probably am.  We stayed up late watching Christmas movies again and then I didn't sleep well, and I'm not sure why.  Finally got the body up around 5AM, I think, just because I was tossing and turning. Why won't the mind realize it is the weekend and getting up at 4AM isn't a requirement?

I did have a good breakfast with Melonie yesterday and she and I went to a thrift shop afterwards. She had told me about this one, but I had never been there.  Oh my goodness.  It was such fun to walk through it. It was a busy place, and there were lots of very nice things, laid out where you could see them and not having to dig through things.  Unlike Goodwill, which is FOR profit, and unlike Savers, which supports Big Brothers/Big Sisters, this place supports Hospice of the Valley.  In fact, I was surprised, when I was going to pay for my purchase, I asked how much and she told me the total that was on the item. I asked about tax. She said they were totally NON-PROFIT, therefore NO TAX was collected, and all the money was sent to Hospice of the Valley.  Guess what, I will start clearing things out and they will get my items to sell.  Every thing is laid out very nicely and it is actually better than going to a store!  I was quite impressed with it and will go back when I have more time. 

Didn't do much after I got back home as I was waiting on an Amazon delivery to take to the granddaughter. I guess she is back at her apartment. That makes me very sad, but I cannot interfere.  The item finally arrived, but as it was getting dark, I told her I would bring to her today; I don't know that area that well and don't think I want to be in it after dark.  So, will get to see the granddaughter and her newest little one today, if only for a few minutes.

Then, I do need to go visit Ms. Diane.  Her three children were at the house yesterday emptying it out.  She is very sad that they are going through everything, and refused to take her home long enough to take one or two personal things to keep with her.  Nothing in her little room at the group home is 'hers'. She sits all day in a recliner and watches TV or just sits there.   She did say yesterday they got her up and helped her walk a bit with her walker.

I also need to go visit Ms. Vicky, as it has been a couple weeks. I always feel guilty when I go too long to visit these women.  They are alone and most times I'm the only one who stops in for an hour or so. Ms. Vicky does have a roommate, which is very interesting, in that she stays in her room nearly all the time and doesn't come out and chat or watch a TV program with Ms. Vicky.  They don't even eat together.  The roommate will heat up something and take back to her room to eat.   If I'm there, she always stops and says hello, but other than that, I never see her.

So it looks like my day is going to be pretty full with visiting everyone.  No baking this weekend, I guess. Not that I need to.  I just enjoy baking.  Got me some bread baking 'equipment' and still want to learn (or re-learn) how to bake bread.  Need to see what else I need.  It would be something I'd need to start in the morning as I would have to let it 'rise' throughout the day. But the smell of fresh bread, right out of the oven, is so wonderful.

Matthew 6:33 (NKJV):  But seek first the kingdom of God, and all these things will be added unto you.

So many people worry about having enough money (and yet spend foolishly when they have it), worry about clothes (yet, their closet if full), about other things (and yet, they probably have these things)... it's just worried foolishness.  When we first seek God with all of our hearts, He will always provide what we NEED.  It may not mean we get all that we WANT, but He will provide what we NEED.  I truly believe that.  Like Paul has said in the scriptures, I know what it is like to be in want, and in need, and yet, I also know what it is like to have plenty.  My words.  

We've been in both places.  There have been times in the past 60 years I did not know where the next meal was coming from. There have been times when we had all the food we needed, and more.  Times when I would stitch clothes to last a little longer, and times when I could just go to the store and buy something.  God has always provided for us, and He always will, as long as we seek Hm first.

So how are you doing with that?  Are you seeking Him first?  I don't mean getting up early and spending time in the Word, which is always good, but do you pause when you first get up and say 'Thank you, Lord, for this day'?  Ok, I don't do that.  I crawl in here, climb into my recliner, cover up with blankets and grab my reading for the day.  But the key is, put God first in your life, and He will always provide all that you need.

And... now I need to get off here and head for the shower.  Got to smell pretty for church.  Have a good day!

Blessings!

It was a good surprise...

 when I came in here this morning and sat down, I did as I often do - I picked up my phone to see if any important/critical messages that I should know about had come through.  There was one special one.  A grandson was asking if they could come over some time over the next few weeks so that we can meet our great-grandson.  I suggested he tell us their schedule as I don't know his work schedule or what they have to do with the baby. It would be easier for me to step away from work if during the day (providing hubby doesn't have doctor appointments).  I think he is still working nights, so I'll let him determine the date and timeframe.  Would love to meet this little one.  

So many times I feel deserted by many of the grandchildren - and I'm not blaming them; they have their own lives, working or have families.  I just really miss the times I could go pick up all the grandchildren and take them to church with me - that was the greatest joy for me to do every Wednesday, and it is still my greatest memory of hanging with my grandchildren.  I hope they remember that as well.  The smaller ones, maybe not as much.

I remember one time on our way home from Wednesday church that a grandson asked me something about my mama, who had recently passed away.  I must have said something about missing her, I don't remember.  But he made this comment: "But your mom is in heaven and you will get to see her again." It was then I realized that his mama taking him to church on Sundays and me taking him on Wednesdays - had been a good thing.  He got it.  I'm sure his other grandma had a play in that as well.

Memories.  They come and go, and sometimes they get a little fuzzy.  Things I forget, sometimes will come to mind when something is said or done and it's like a lightbulb goes off in the brain, and you pause and watch that scene play out again in your mind.  I love so much the memories I have of hanging out with the grandchildren.  I always said they kept me young, and I still believe that is a true statement. 

We stayed up late last night and got up a bit later this morning - me about 5:45AM and hubby about 6:30AM I think it was.  No biggie. All I have to day is leaving around 10:30 to pick up Melonie for lunch and whatever else we decide to do for a little bit.  I may come home and bake, which I need to do.  But I also need to defrost the freezer and figure out what is in there.  I still see lots of frozen strawberries! LOL 

Which reminds me - I picked up a 'mystery box' from the place I pick up combo boxes.  Definitely a 'mystery'!  I had three large 'things' that I had no clue what they were.  I text'd my granddaughter because she is the one who experiments a lot with different vegetables.  Immediately she came back with the name - Fennel.  Say what?  I looked it up. Yep, that is what it is.  I saw how to cut it and it said to slice thin and put in salads, that it may taste like licorice.  I had three so I offered her two of them. I will try the one.  Maybe. Got a case of on the vine tomatoes too which I am already dividing out.  And a bag of apples.  I may try to cook something with those - or run up to the DIL for the son who likes apples, but these are little ones so don't know if he would be interested.

We watched a couple Christmas movies last night - yes, I'm getting in to the Christmas spirit already!  I will wait until at least the 2nd week of November to put up our trees inside the house.  The outside I may wait until Thanksgiving.  I can start wrapping what I have so that I can figure out what I do have. My stash here by the bed is taking up most of this side of the room. Need to sort that all out.

Do you realize that complaining is a sin?  Yes, I know it is, and yes, I know I do it frequently.  Yes, I know I write it in here as well, many of my complaints.  I don't like that about myself. And yes, I do confess my complaining and ask forgiveness for it.  Sometimes it seems like a 'second nature' to complain, doesn't it?  We may argue the point and say that it isn't a complaint, it is stating a fact, and that may be true. But if we have to explain it.... I will leave that there.

Philippians 2:14 (NKJV):  Do all things without complaining or disputing. 

I know I have touched on this before. Probably because I do a lot of it.  If not verbally, I am complaining in my mind.  God hears that complaining as well. Sigh.  How do we get past that - complaining all the time?  Life is hard, right? We can agree with that.  Things happen that hurt us, that cause us anger and frustration - and we aren't to complain about that?  No. We are to give those emotions to God and ask Him to deal with them. And that isn't easy.  Trust me. I know I complain a lot - out loud and in my heart and mind.  And I always have to ask forgiveness for complaining so much. And much is about nothing.

What would my life be like if I didn't complain all the time?  It would probably be a lot better.  We all have our own opinions and attitudes about things and people.  I'm no different than you.  If YOU don't like something, I probably don't either.  I want to change. If I have a complaint (which you know I will since I do it so frequently), I need to stop verbalizing it in my mind and in my spoken word, and instead ask God to help me see the person or the situation in a different light.  

Most of all, I choose to be obedient to God and His Word.... I choose to forgive those who have hurt me.  I choose to do good rather than revenge.  I choose to be obedient to God in ALL circumstances (even the trying one I'm in now!).

Doesn't mean I will be successful .... my mouth often speaks before the mind wakes up. But we have a forgiving God (when we ask Him) and He will not only forgive, but will give us the strength and ability to step out of that situation and allow Him to work through it.  Sometimes He allows these trying (very!) situations to reveal who people really are, to show us what we need to do, and what we need to change in us.  Lord, HELP, cause I want to go share a 'few words' with this person!  

So grateful for God's grace.  He helps me deal with my inward pain of rejection and although it isn't specifically a rejection of me, but of others.  I'm just receiving the rejection as well.   Doesn't make the hurt any easier, but when I give it to Jesus, He brings healing and hope to my heart.  All things are in His time.

Yes, once again my words are all over the spectrum of discussion and confusion - but anymore, it seems that is who I am.  Praying I will completely surrender - even my will - that I can walk in grace with others.

Blessings!

I guess I need to just 'get over it'....

 and sometimes it hurts so bad that it is just hard to do.  But, I'm better this morning. Not going into details.  The granddaughter and great-granddaughter are with their aunt, and that is ok.  Hubby took me on a 'date night' (seriously? We go out to dinner frequently, but he is calling this one a 'date night') and he made me choose, so I chose Denny's.  I did put make-up on, but I just didn't want to 'dress up' when I really didn't want to go.  I had already created an order at Fry's to pick up so we ate first and then picked it up.  Since the granddaughter had gone to her aunt's, we headed over there once we dropped groceries off here at the house.  Hubby got to hold the little one.

I feel like I'm 'all over the place' this morning.  Need to decompress I guess.  2nd load of laundry in washer (doing it cause hubby is gone to bible study - he will yell at me when he gets back for 'doing his job'), trying to get some things done on the work computer - trying to write in here - I need to just step back and breathe.

I'm even on a second cup of coffee this morning....  lots of things on my mind; lots of prayers been going up.  I'm struggling with my own emotions that I must keep hidden.  I need to run away. Hubby is more clingy than ever - if that was even possible.  Lord, HELP!

Tomorrow I'm meeting an 'old' friend - Melonie - whom I met back in 1968 when both our husbands were in the service (hers in Korea, mine in VietNam) and I was pregnant with my first one.  We've kept in touch off and on over the years and to find we are about 6 miles apart about 8 years ago is unbelievable.  We don't get together much, but the other day was her birthday so I am taking her to lunch on Saturday.  I don't have a gift for her - yet - and have no idea what to get - may just buy lunch and let it be it.  Maybe I'll take her some things I've already baked and in the freezer. Probably won't meet up again until around Christmas. That's the way it is.  She is a widow now, and her sister is here in town so they get together frequently.  Wish we could get together more, but there really isn't any reason to, other than our friendship.

Sunday will be church. But other running over to see my granddaughter and baby tomorrow with some baby stuff I picked up, I don't think anything else is on the agenda for the weekend. Maybe I can hibernate in a book and lose myself.  

I sometimes ask myself what is God trying to teach me through this journey I'm on - and why can't I learn it.... sometimes the pain is so great it becomes unbearable.  Not physical pain, of course, but the pain one carries from life.

Need to get off here and focus upon work. Maybe tomorrow I will be in a better frame of life... my mind is gone so it's not that... or is it. Ha.

Have a good day. Keep trusting Jesus (He is all I have too!) and knowing that He is in control of every part of our lives.  Lean into Him and believe that He can do all things - even those we don't expect.  He's all I have so I have to trust Him, believe in Him, love Him.  

Blessings!

i love these cool mornings...but....

 when I get cold, I want to hunker (snuggle) down and go back to sleep.  Fortunately, and unfortunately - that is what happened this morning.  I woke up at 3:30AM - mind would not shut off.  I finally got up and came in here.  I curled up in my chair with warm housecoat on, blanket over me, pillow at my head.  I got started on my reading and finished it.  I snuggled down deeper in the chair and blanket - and I did doze off. I don't know how long I slept, but trust me, it was needed  We went to bed about 10:30PM last night and I was tired!  So here is now 6:30AM and I'm trying to get my head wrapped around here - what shall I write about?

Work wasn't bad yesterday; had a few meetings to schedule, but nothing 'bad'.  Figured out what I was going to do with the powerpoint for the board meeting. Stopped and fixed myself a bowl of soup for lunch and (sigh) sat down at the table with hubby to eat it.  Managed to get through the rest of the afternoon with work and then off to the gym for my training - core last night.  Back home it was about time to head to church for our group bible study on Revelation.  They are asking if we wanted to continue - in a couple weeks they will ask us to move from church to a home for the bible studies.  We said 'yes', we'd like to continue. Our 'leaders' were out last night so will see what their plans are when we meet again next week. 

Our granddaughter ended up staying an extra day at the hospital but surely will be discharged today.  Where she is going, I have no idea.  I have offered for her to come here so she can rest.  My daughter has offered for her to go there and she can rest.  We both think she is going to go home because her ex-boyfriend is pushing on her to get away from us and to the apartment where he can be in control - and his mother as well, I'm sure. He is on my 'not nice' list.  You don't go to the hospital and badger a woman after she gives birth! It still makes me angry, but I have to step back; she won't listen to me, and I can't let it get to me.  Regardless, the daughter and son-in-law went to this granddaughter's apartment yesterday and cleaned it up - emptied the cat litter box, etc., did the dishes, picked up things, mopped the floor, etc. We are pretty sure she will go there.  I was joking last night on how could I use the 'guilt trip' to get her to come here....  I'm kidding!  I can't make anyone do anything.  I just want my granddaughter and great-granddaughter taken care of and her be able to rest and be taken care of.... and who does it best but grandma?  Plus, I don't want her left 'alone' with the ex and his mother... sigh... I got to get over it.

On to a different topic!  But I did get the bed cleaned off in here - yes, all the boxes are on the floor next to the bed on this side - but hey - they are off the bed!  Which also means that if I need to take a nap, I can lay down on the bed and really take a nap, right?  I really do need a second cup of coffee this morning.

And I really do need to do the pick up, look at it, if it isn't being used, get rid of it thing.  All I do is look at it and lay it back down, usually in another place so that at another time, I can pick it up, think about getting rid of it, and lay it back down again.  No wonder things are so cluttered around here! And with Christmas coming, I am getting boxes and things scattered everywhere too.  Got to sort this stuff out and see where I am.  Grandchildren and great grandchildren will get only one or two gifts.  But my children... sorry, I'm going to do what I want to do. And I'll leave it at that.  BUT, I am also going to be wise.  

Just happened to think.... I need to start writing down books I want and list them at some point, and then those that know I love to read can choose from them to get me for Christmas.  Right?  AND they can usually go to Thriftbooks.com and get them used, good condition, for between $4-$8.   Sometimes more, depending on what the book is and how 'new' it is.  In fact, I buy a lot of my books from Thriftbooks.  I don't like them marked in and it has only happened twice in the years I have been buying from them. I notify them how bad it is written in and they refund my money.   New is always good, as well, but I'm all for more books, less money. LOL

The landscapers are here - they cut our hedges this morning.  They are 'stupid'.  Ok, I probably shouldn't say that.  But, they cut our neighbor's (who is attached to our house) hedges down to the top of the fence line.  They cut ours about 6 inches ABOVE the fence line - and the hedges are side by side.  Well, it looks like it goes from 6" down to about 3" above, while our neighbor's is pretty straight across.  

Galatians 6:6 (NKJV):  Let him who is taught the word share in all good things with him who teaches.

I think some people take that scripture the wrong way.  In reality, in my opinion, all it means is that those of us who are taught the Word of God, should share our food, our finances, our 'things' with those (ministers/teachers) who take the time to study and prepare and teach the Word.  I can remember hearing from one minister that when he was (literally) handed a church to lead, the church did not want to pay him a salary. They said he should just preach the word without pay.  He pursued it, and actually demanded a salary.  Now, they gave in, but what has always bothered me, is that his salary 'demand' was for $51,000/year!  For a beginning minister (in my opinion), that is pretty steep.  Especially since the church was less than 50 members.  We attended the church for awhile and he made us 'associate pastors' and we plugged in to help lead, etc.  He even let us preach a couple times.  But I guess you could say I screwed all that up - I did lead communion a few times, and this one time when I prayed, I didn't specifically say 'In Jesus' Name'.... and he actually called me out on it after church. His SIL was not a Christian and he wanted him to hear 'In Jesus' Name' about everything.  I was puzzled about it, even called Pastor Steve, my mentor, and talked with him about it.  It really was no biggie, in my opinion (or his).  I often say 'in Your holy name' or 'in the name of Your Son, Jesus', etc.  I don't think about what I'm going to say, I just say it.  Well, as my 'punishment', he would no longer allow me to preach nor lead communion.  Then he started commenting on my facial expressions, and criticizing me.  I finally told hubby 'enough!' I was not going back - so we resigned. I don't think he has spoken to us since.  And, as a matter of fact, the church ended up dissolving as all the money was gone and attendance had dropped to less than 20 people, I think, and most were the pastor's relatives. 

Ok - I guess you didn't need to read all that, but as I typed out the scripture, that is what came to mind.  Yes, church attenders should tithe to God, and out of that comes the church's expenses and the pastor's salary.  But I don't believe a pastor should demand a high salary so that he could live according to his normal lifestyle.  Yes, I get 'paid' when I speak at these RV parks, but I don't do it for the money.  I do it because I love Jesus and I love to share Him with others.  I would do it for nothing, if I was asked to. For me, it's not about the money.  But, then, I am still working and have a salary, so speaking about Jesus doesn't cost me anything but time.  And it is something I love to do.

Uh oh - I'm out of time and I got to get off here.  See, I got to rambling again!  Hope you have an amazing day!

Blessings!

But is the report correct?

 Hubby went by the oncologist's office yesterday to pick up a copy of his labs from Sonora Quest.  The report showed his AST and ALT were back in the normal range.  He also stopped by Dr. Mark's office to get blood drawn for his visit next week - and this blood work goes to Lab Corp.  The last two reports from Lab Corp showed his AST and ALT way out of range.  It will be interesting to see what this lab report will show.  I have to say that we have prayed about his liver and kidneys, and I have to believe that God has healed him of whatever inflammation he had.  It's one of those Wait! What? moments.  Until we meet with Dr. Mark and hear from him that all the inflammation is gone, I'm still in a confused mode.  We go from 'normal' to 'what is going on?' to 'normal' again and it's huh?  Praising God, regardless.  He is good.

Yesterday was a different kind of day for me.  While hubby was gone to get his lab work done, a couple other errands he came up with, had lunch by himself, visited a friend..... lots happened.  My oldest son txt'd and asked if he could stop by... of course he can!  It was good to sit and talk with him and listen to what is going on in his life. A treasured time for this mama.  Shortly after he left, I get notification that a granddaughter was in labor and at the hospital.  I normally do not run to the hospitals during these times as the spouse or parents are there. We usually go up later to see the baby.  But this time, my youngest son is out of state and I kind of wanted to go.  I talk my boss about it and she told me to stop working and just go!  I debated, but since I had nothing pressing going on, that is exactly what I did!  I took off work and drove to the hospital.

Interesting... lol... as I was walking to the main entrance of the hospital, someone kept honking.  I turned part way around to see why, but didn't see anything unusual, so went on in.  By the time I got to the 2nd floor - labor and delivery - I turn around and my oldest son is there.  It was he honking the horn (he tells me about it) trying to get my attention.  He was smarter than me - he used the valet; I drove around for a bit until I found a spot over by outpatient.  Anyway - got to be with my granddaughter as she delivered this tiny, beautiful little baby girl.  I have been with my daughter during her two deliveries, but his is the first time I got to cut the cord!  And I got to 'be' there, instead of just sitting off to the side out of the way. Treasured memory. And I love that she used part of my name, and my mama's name as one of the middle names.  Another middle name honors my daughter, and I am glad this granddaughter did that, for her aunt does a lot for her.  It is quite an honor, and I don't take it lightly.  I stayed until a little after 4PM and then headed home, and good thing; hubby called on my way home, wondering when I'd be back home.  Of course he had bible study last night but I stayed home and crochet'd and watched Christmas chick flicks. 

I have my training at 5Pm tonight and then we have our group at church tonight - so other than work, that is all that is on my agenda, I think.  I had told my granddaughter she could come stay with us after she gets out if she wants, until she feels stronger.  I'm not sure what she is going to do, whether our place or my daughter's place - but do not want her to be alone right now.  Especially in her apartment. She needs someone with her while she regains her strength.

Luckily, even with me taking off yesterday afternoon, I only had one meeting to schedule when I got back home and on the computer.  And it was an impossible one.  Before end of week. With key leadership people. For 50 minutes.  Uh, not going to happen.  Two of the key leadership - 1 on PTO as of today; the other on PTO tomorrow and Friday.  I made the meeting for Friday - and suggested she send those two an email for their thoughts on the meeting topic.  Looking at my messages this morning (I had 19 since I got off at 5PM last night!), looks like one accepted tentative, and the other has forwarded to two of her staff and asked them to attend.  Looks like it may work out after all.  

I kept hearing thunder this morning, and I keep wanting to curl back under my blanket and take a nap - which I have done several times since getting up at 4:30AM.  I just don't want to do anything today. I'm sleepy, I'm tired.  Yet, I thought I slept well last night.  I think it is my anger still boiling within my mind, although there is nothing I can do about it.  Anyway....

Today is a new day and I have work to do.  The sky is gray - not black - so wonder if rain will even come to us today.  But, I do need to get off here, since it is after 7AM, and sit my bottom down in front of my work computer - so as crazy as this post is today - I need to hush and get off.

Hope you do something amazing today and realize it is all by God's hand that He has given this day to you.  Never take today for granted, you may not have tomorrow.

Blessings!

It was something we hadn't expected....

 I went with hubby yesterday to the oncologist office. Before he came in, hubby kept going over with me what he needed to say to get the PET scan.  But the tables got turned on us.  The oncologist looked at his last blood tests from last week, and said "all your numbers are back in the normal range. You don't need a PET scan."  Wait, what?  He tried to show us on the screen, but numbers are small and it wasn't on the numbers I really wanted to see.  He asked what hubby had been doing - nothing but drinking 50 ounces of water a day.  The oncologist said he didn't know what changed the numbers, but it could be his organs were dehydrated and causing the numbers to be off the charts.  But I/we looked at him and said, "No, it is the answer to prayers."  Of course the response we got from that doctor was something like "well, yeah, maybe".  He was the nicest he has been since I have met him.  I think this was the third time.  As we left, they were supposed to give us a copy of the labs - but the girl got confused I think, and just gave hubby the lab request for his next appointment in January.  That wasn't what we were to get - or in addition to. I got frustrated at hubby; he didn't say anything about it.  Later in the day I asked to see the tests, for I wanted to compare numbers with the last two reports I have.  He said it was on his desk - so I went to get it - and realized (as he had) that the lab report wasn't there.  I was dumbfounded.  I asked him why didn't he get in his car and go back to get them?  He was taking the oncologist's word that 'everything was fine' when he only takes care of the prostate! What about the liver and kidneys?  I want to see those numbers! Hubby finally said that he will go over there this morning and ask for them to be printed as he gets something else done and then goes to visit a friend.  Men.  I would have been all over that and gotten right back in the car and gotten them!

Morgan wasn't 'nice' to me last night and really worked my legs - even though I told her I was sore from the walk I did the day before - and had gotten over 13k miles.  She made me push through - including lunges in the last 3 minutes of her time with me. I kept telling her we could 'talk' that last three minutes, but she made me do lunges.  Oh well, I did them.  And my legs are telling me I did as well this morning.  I have core on Wednesday so I need to do 'something' today to keep the body limber.

Talked to my youngest last night; they were staying on an Army base in Brooklyn and then will be taking a cab into New York City Madison Square this morning. They will look at things all around there, and take a cab back to the base. Because of the excess walking they will be doing today, they are staying an extra night in Brooklyn before starting out tomorrow morning and heading to... I forget, one of them is Washington DC, Virginia.... and I forget where else he wants to go through tomorrow.  Sure will be glad when he is back home; I don't mind him being going and enjoying it all, but I don't like any of my children that far away from me that if something happened I couldn't get to them. 

Psalm 40:8 (NKJV):  I delight to do Your will, O my God, and Your law is within my heart.

Can you honestly say that?  I think I can.  I do love to do the things that I know God wants me to do.  I know the things I should do. But, alas, many times I choose to do things MY way, instead of letting Him lead me.  My guess is that you do that as well.  We think we know so much better, that many times we do not even pause to ask God, "What is Your will in this matter?"  When things come upon us, and we don't know what to do, do we second-guess ourselves instead of pausing and asking God to direct us and lead us where He wants us to go?  To get the advice He wants us to get?  To make a second or even third phone call to get the result that is needed/wanted?  There is one thing that I have read recently that has stuck with me.  I know it to be true.

God will never take you to a place that He will not lead you through it.

With hubby's diagnoses these past couple of months and the uncertainty of what is going on within his body - it was just BOOM! your kidneys and liver numbers are off the chart!  That can scare anyone because we had no knowledge of why or how.  So what did that do to us?  Did we sink into depression and worry?  Well, there was 'concern', don't get me wrong.  But we did the only thing we knew to do.  We prayed and asked God to intervene.  Would He?  We didn't know, but we trusted Him enough to ask Him to get us through this.  And He has.  Could we not have been told the full truth? Possibly.  Different doctors look at different things.  Hubby has an appointment on 10/29 with Dr. Mark and he will tell us exactly what the numbers are and what is going on.  But all in all, we were able to give a testimony to the oncologist of God's greatness and answers to prayer.  And we can also give it to Dr. Mark should he tell us the same thing, seeing all the numbers.

Sometimes God leads us through trials so that He can get our attention.  Sometimes people tend to blame God for whatever happens to them or their loved ones.  If things don't go the way you want them to - do you just deal with the issue - or do you blame God because things didn't go the way you wanted them to?

I tell you what!  I fear God more than I fear men.  God can do anything He wants to me and in me.  If He chooses to lead me through the valley of the shadow of death - so be it.  I know He will walk with me all the way, because He loves me.  As Paul says in the Bible, Philippians 1:21, For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain.

For us here on earth, we are to honor, praise, glorify, and fear God. And yes, obey Him.  It's all part of it. It's even better when we surrender our lives to Him.  Let Jesus 'in', and kick the devil out of your life. The devil brings pain and death.  God brings joy and life.  Which would you choose.  To live for Him brings joy; to die to be with Him brings everlasting joy.  We always think we have time to make that last minute decision to turn to Jesus and ask for His forgiveness and grace. But it doesn't always happen that way.  I would rather choose Jesus now, and live for Him as best as I know how - than my final moment come and I be cast into hell because I didn't have time to seek Jesus.  Hell is a horrible place, eternal torment.  I choose Jesus, and heaven, cause I want Joy, not pain.  What's your choice?

Blessings!

My body has hurts....

 After church, after lunch, I decided I needed to get on my treadmill and get my 3.1 miles in for the Fit & Run that I had signed up for with the company.  It benefits MD Anderson Cancer Center.  I didn't want to drive downtown so did it at home. All I had to do was take a photo on my watch, showing that I had completed the walk/run.  Now I need to figure out how I submit it to prove I did do it.  I should get the t-shirt soon. :-)   I did walk the 3.1 miles on the treadmill.  Now I don't 'sweat'; I 'glisten', as a rule.  But it was so warm in that back part of the house, with the fan on, that my t-shirt was soaked.  Good, maybe I got some toxins out of my body, right?  This would be a good time to move the little fan I have to the back room so that I can walk the treadmill without sweating up a storm.  I didn't mind the 'walk' at all; I put the computer in front of me, found a movie on Amazon Prime, and watched it as I walked.  Made the time go by a lot quicker!

And, because I did walk the 3.1 (+) miles, my legs are telling me they walked much further than they have in a long time.  Should be interesting tonight as I am scheduled to do leg work.  I wonder if I can move about enough today to loosen them up. Or maybe I should ask to switch to core tonight and save my legs to Wednesday. Will see how the day goes.  I do need to start getting on the treadmill or the rebounder daily and keep the body moving.  I sit all day, and most of the time, all evening as well.  Need to keep moving to keep limber.

I kept telling myself I SHOULD go visit Ms. Diane; I SHOULD go visit Ms. Vicky - but I did neither.  A granddaughter was to come by to pick up something and I stayed at home, waiting on her. After a while, I figured she forgot, but I did not call her.  Eventually, she did text that she forgot, so we will try to connect sometime today.  Hubby finished watching the football game (which was lost in the last two minutes) and then watched a movie.  

Today I'm back to work and will need to take off this afternoon to go with hubby to his doctor's appointment.  This is the oncologist - we will actually be meeting with his assistant, who is much nicer and listens to you.  I haven't met her before, but hubby has.  So we will push through with the rest for the PET scan.  She will have to ask the doctor of course.  And I need to remember to make a copy of the blood work that Dr. Mark wants him to see that shows the liver and kidneys are affected.  If he refuses to order the PET scan, I'm not sure what the next step is.  I think Dr. Mark said we'd go to the kidney doctor and ask for a CT with contrast - and how we can work around the contrast part because it will affect the kidneys, which are already inflamed.  My fear?  The cancer from the prostate has spread to the liver and kidneys.  He's not 'feeling it' now, other than occasionally not feeling good, but not able to identify why. That is why we need the PET scan - to find out what is going on.  There is inflammation; but where is it coming from...

Wow - I just had a big fear! LOL  I don't know what I was thinking... but I hit the plus button on the tab at the top - and nearly lost this post. Not that it is a big deal, but I don't know if I could think that much again this morning. ;)  But - I did find it and it had saved as a draft, although I had not saved it (yet).  Lucky you, huh? You have something to read.

Psalm 51:12 (NKJV):  Restore to me the joy of Your salvation, and uphold me by Your generous Spirit.

Want to know why so many people are so unhappy?  They have sinned against God and refuse to confess it. The above scripture, the entire psalm 51, is David's lament to God when he confessed his sin of adultery with Bathsheba and murder of her husband to cover his sin.  When David confessed his sin with deep remorse, he asked God to restore to him the joy of His salvation.  There have been times when I have felt so burdened about something I shouldn't have done (or said) that I felt my joy had been sucked out of me.  I've mentioned it a few times I think over the years, how I feel the joy of life has been sucked out of me at times.  Usually it isn't for something I did, but my attitude towards what is going on.  Anyway - you want to have joy in your heart, in your life?  

Choose Jesus.  Confess your heart to Him, and ask Him to restore to you the joy of His salvation.  He will, you know.  You will find your heart feels so much lighter and there is peace within you.  "Try it, you'll like it!"

When times are tough, I have learned to sing the song 'The Joy of the Lord is my Strength'.  Do you remember that song?  If you grew up in a church like mine, you probably do.  You know, 'the Joy of the Lord is my strength! The joy of the Lord, is my strength!, The joy of the Lord is my strength! The joy of the Lord is my strength!'  That is a very hard song to learn - haha.  I can remember when I had a very difficult director who would literally scream at me and slam her hand on her desk at me - and I would just stand there and smile at her - which drove her crazy.  Then I would take a short walk, singing all the way 'The joy of the Lord is my strength'.  It works, try it. It does make life better.

And, yes, this is short today - but I am drawing a blank as to what to write today.  My youngest went to Maine yesterday; I think he said last night he was heading to Boston and New York City today.  

Hope you have a good day.  Do something good for yourself today.  Be kind to yourself. Talk well of yourself.  Find joy.

Blessings!

Fun with baking

 I did get busy in the kitchen yesterday.  First of all, I made the banana pudding.  I wish I had gone ahead and fixed it another way, but I didn't.  But I was able to give some away last night and I plan to take some over to Ms. Vicky sometime today as well.  I made this other dish I had seen - you take a can of Pillsbury cinnamon rolls and quarter each one and put in a bowl.  Then you add a can of cherry (or apple or blueberry) pie filling and mix it all together - and then bake it.  Once it cools, drizzle the icing over it - and you have your own pastry!  Good, but way too sweet for me. 

I also made hubby two batches of 'his' peach muffins.  I had some blueberries in the refrigerator so also made a batch of blueberry muffins.  And I screwed up the recipe on all three.  Why? What happened? Hubby got to me. Sigh. Let me explain.

Hubby had already 'annoyed' me with some off the wall stuff and he came into the kitchen.  I happened to think about the iron pills that Dr. Mark had told him to start taking about two weeks ago at the last visit. I asked hubby if he had purchased the iron pills.  He commented that he was also to drink orange juice with them. Ok... I went and grabbed my notebook in which I wrote the information down. Yes, one 325 mg ferrous suffate (pulling from memory here) with an orange (to keep him from getting constipated) (I know, TMI).  Anyway - back to my story... he said "No, because I was waiting for my (SS) check to hit the bank and it hit yesterday."  I just looked at him and said "That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard! Why would you wait two weeks from a doctor visit to get something he had told you to purchase at the drug store that is usually less than $5?"  His comment back?  "That is the second time you have called me stupid this morning!."  I lost it.

He left to go to the drugstore (and purchased the wrong one) and got the pills and ORANGE JUICE.  I just kept my mouth shut. I'll go to the drug store today and pick up the right one. Or maybe I'll just order it from Amazon.  I was so upset (not angry, just frustrated) with him yesterday that I screwed up all three batches of muffins.  What did I do?  It wasn't intentional; I just couldn't get it together.  The first batch of peach muffins - it called for 2/3 cup of sugar; I put in 1/2 cup.  The second batch called for a tablespoon of lemon juice and I put in a teaspoon.  The batch of blueberry muffins - I poured in 1/2 cup of melted butter.  Butter isn't even in the recipe.  It said 4 tablespoons of butter to be melted and basted on top of the muffins after baking, and then sprinkle cinnamon and sugar on top of that.  I didn't say anything to hubby about my mistakes; he took one muffin and said it was delicious.  I messed up on all three recipes and he thinks they are good. 

By then I was exhausted. No, actually, it was before the muffins he had started stressing me out and I had to take a nap.  I made the muffins after that, and when he followed me into the kitchen and made the comments about the iron pills... that was when I 'lost it'.  See, I'm not perfect at all... By last night I was totally wiped out.  I don't think it is because I was busy in the kitchen, I think it is more because his words and behavior totally drains me through exasperation. 

Going to church this morning so will need to jump in the shower after finishing this, I think.  Need to wash my hair and get cleaned up.  It will be nice to be around other people. It is even nicer to get to spend time worshipping Jesus.  We had a worship service Friday night at church, but we didn't go. Had planned to, then hubby didn't want to go, but did tell me to go ahead.  I didn't, and stayed home. As I knew I would, I wish I had gone.  But I have already signed up for a ladies night at the church in November.  I've got to start getting out more with other women.  I have made myself so isolated because of various reasons.... partly I blame covid for we got so used to having to stay home.  But I am so isolated, if something happened, I would have very few women I could call to talk to.

Psalm 37:4 (NKJV):  Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart. 

That does not mean that every thing your heart desires God will give it to you if you ask Him for it.  But when we delight, find joy, and exalt the Lord, we will find the desires of our heart is pleasing Him. Yes, He will also give us desires such as healing someone or bringing reconciliation, or providing something you need.  But our greatest desire should be in worshipping Him, and in doing so, our delight is complete.  Make sense?  When we give ourselves to the Lord, He brings the right desires and the right joys to us because He is our Provider of good things.

Many times we don't have because we don't ask.  I know I'm guilty of that. Why don't I ask? Because I usually know that it isn't something He wants for me.  I may want reconciliation among family members.... and I some times pray about that.... but that isn't what I really should be praying about. I should be praying that their hearts will be turned to Jesus - and let Him do His work within them. It is more important for hearts to be turned to Jesus and following Him, then it is for me to get my prayers answered in the way and time I think it should happen.

I probably could give you other examples, but I don't want to think this morning. None of my siblings are really doing that well, and there has been a strain since 2013-2014 amongst some of them. And yes, I feel that strain with some, but I push through and still try to be a part of their lives - at least until the next time they think I don't do something the way they think I should. Control and pride are big issues for some. And I speak my mind to each one; but they feel justified in what they do. So be it. All I can do is call out their sin.

Which reminds me, Paul called out Peter (if you read your bible, you will remember the story) when he visited the Christians in Galatians.  Peter (and Barnabas) hung out with the Gentiles - until the Jewish leaders came to check on what the church was doing.  If you recall, the Jewish leaders were wanting Gentiles to be circumcised when they converted. That's another story.  But what happened was that when the Jewish leaders arrived, Peter quit sitting with the Gentiles and instead sat on the 'Jewish side'. Paul called him out as a hypocrite, sitting with Gentiles until the Jewish leaders came and then acting like he always sat separate.  And I am sure that stung Peter, for he was called out on his sin.  (How often do we pretend to be one thing until others show up and then change to 'be like them'?)

I Peter 1:14, 17: Don't slip back into your old ways of living to satisfy your own desires. You didn't know any better then ... And remember that the heavenly Father to whom you pray has no favorites. He will judge or reward you according to what you do. So you must live in reverent fear of Him during your time here as "temporary residents".  

I kind of think Peter remembered Paul admonishing him for what he had done, and he had lead other Jewish converts to do the same and follow him.  We are not to slip back to our old ways of doing things to please people.  We are to stand firm in what we believe  and live like Jesus.  We are new creatures in Him.  Our past is forgiven, (thank you, Jesus!!) and He remembers it no more.  Why would I want to even think about going back to my 'old ways'?  

I am not perfect by any means, as you are very well aware of.  I still do stupid things. I still say things I shouldn't. But in spite of all my 'stupidity', I keep my eyes on Jesus.  Grateful for His grace. Living in His forgiveness.  I am lost without Him.  And so are you.  What is keeping you from saying 'Yes' to Jesus?  Stubbornness?  Pride? Don't want to give up the 'old life'?  Think about how much joy you can have with a 'new' life!  Don't gauge the joy you can have on my life; trust me, each day sometimes is a battleground.  But keep your eyes on Jesus, for He is the only One who can save you. Cling to Him; trust Him, love Him, surrender to Him. He is for you.

Blessings!

Some times you have to say 'no'....

 I got a call yesterday from a co-worker that I am friends with and she invited me to join her and her women's group on December 6th at noon for a holiday luncheon, and to speak at her group.  I did that about a year ago, if you recall.  I immediately said 'yes' and even looked up hotels, thinking hubby and I can go down the day before, stay at a hotel for the weekend, like we did before.  And I did that before I paused to look at the calendar.  It had sounded like so much fun and I wanted to be a part of it.  Luckily, I had not made any reservations, but paused to check the calendar.  

OOPS.  I'm off work on that Friday because my boss and I are doing the Christmas Idea House that we have done for the past several years.  That is part of my Christmas gift from her. We meet at the 'old' office and she drives to wherever the Christmas Idea house is that year and we have brunch (catered) and then browse through nearly every room in the house, looking at things we can buy.  And yes, I tend to buy Christmas gifts while there.  And bags of cinnamon rolls. This year will probably be the same.  

I have Needles of Hope that Saturday, the 6th, and although they wouldn't care if I skip, that is the only time I see most of them and I try to take a small gift (bread) to each one.  And then, on Sunday, that is a speaking engagement at one of the RV parks (start in November).  So, yeah, I need to skip the women's luncheon an hour's drive away and attend MY women's knitting group and finish preparing for the message on Sunday.  I just sent a text to my friend and apologized for not checking the calendar first and that I would not be able to attend.  If Needles of Hope gets cancelled, perhaps I can change some plans.  If it wasn't an hour's drive away, I might still try to make it, but I think I will be putting too much on myself. And, I'm trying to take better care of my time and sharing it.

Glad today is Saturday and I do not have anything on today's calendar.  I am wanting to get some baking done today, and may just be able to do it. Hubby is out of his peach muffins and I have two peaches left so may make up two batches; that would get him through most of the a month.  I still need to make banana pudding and may get that done today as well and maybe I can talk hubby in letting me deliver it to different ones. 

You know I don't do 'cool' weather, and because hubby commented about this yesterday, I am expecting him to pop his head in soon for us to do it.  With the 70 degree or so temperature in the mornings, he is wanting to go sit in the front courtyard on our patio furniture with a cup of coffee and talk.  I would need a jacket and a blanket for me to sit out there at 70 degrees! I heard him open the front door a little bit ago so I know he is itching to get out there - and heaven forbid he should take the initiative and go sit out there by himself.  He needs me to remove the seat covers and open up the umbrella for him.  When I open the door to this room it will be to go and cook breakfast; not to go sit outside!

Got a call from my youngest this morning and he drove all night but they made it to New Hampshire early this morning. Couldn't get his hotel room until later, but his sister in law is already at the hotel (they are hanging with them a couple days) so she had them come up to their room where they could rest. Son is telling me he is thinking of going and laying on a couch in the lobby and go to sleep so that with his snoring - which sounds like a freight train running through an amplifier - they will quickly clean his room and let him have it.  I begged him not to! LOL

Psalm 27:14 (NKJV):  Wait on the Lord; be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart; wait, I say, on the Lord!

So many times I get ahead of myself and commit my time to things before I pause and ask God what does He want me to do.  A good example is what I shared at the beginning.  I didn't pause and ask God if I should commit to it.  If I had done that, I could have checked my calendar, prayed about it, waited on His response, and then made a decision.  Instead, I got ahead of myself, ahead of God, and decided I wanted to do it so 'yes!' I will do it.  Then I have had to eat humble pie and decline.  Yes, I could have put off telling her 'no' and waited to see if I could work things out to still do it.  And, I probably could still do it.  But as I paused and thought about what I need to do and should do - and the preparation I need to focus on in preparation for delivering a message on Sunday, I have to decline. I could have saved myself humble pie if I had just said "Let me get back to you on this"  When will I learn? I need to keep the focus that I do not manage my calendar, God does, and if He wants me to do something, He will clear my calendar and show me what to do.

Yes, God can do anything He wants to with my life.  I was reading in one of my books this morning how important it is to let God manage our lives and us not make quick decisions that generally screw us up.  We make our plans - but they are always prone to be changed when we don't allow Him to guide us in some of the decisions. Does that make sense?

Charles Stanley impressed on me in one message many years ago in which he talked about waiting on the Lord.  A young couple needed a car.  They started praying for it, but after a couple weeks, they went out and put themselves in debt by purchasing a car.  A week after that, a couple in the church offered to GIVE a car to anyone in the church who needed it ... Charles Stanley said that if they had continued in prayer, and waited on God to provide, they would have gotten the car free and clear.  Instead, they were 'stuck' with a car payment that they really couldn't afford.

How many times do we do that?  We 'need' that big house, or we 'need' that fancy car.... only to find it puts us in a situation that we really don't want to be in.  Why don't we realize that God will provide ALL that we need, and just what we need?  I don't need a big fancy car, my 2017 is perfect for me.  It may start to have things go wrong with it, but God will provide a way for me to get it taken care of. I don't have a car payment. I love that.  When we wait upon God and keep praying, sometimes we will find that we don't need what we think we do... because God will provide something better.  

I can remember a time when my daughter had braces and money was extremely tight for us. The orthodontist payment was $210 each month, and I was already late with that month's payment. She had an appointment, but the orthodontist wouldn't see her without a payment. It was gut-wrenching for me, what could I do?  I did the only thing I knew to do.  I got on my knees and prayed for help.  I told God I didn't know how He could do it, but I needed $210 to pay the orthodontist so that my daughter could get her braces checked.  Guess what He did!

I am so serious.  The next day was payday and there was an issue with payroll.  Somehow the system neglected to take out taxes and insurance on my check.  The 'extra' was a little over $200 in my check that week, and I was able to pay the orthodontist.  Yes, they took it out a little each payday until they had it all, and that was ok.  I had only asked that I get enough to pay the orthodontist.  The funny thing about this?  Only a few people were affected with this on their paychecks.  And I was one of them.  Yeah, God provided because I asked Him to, and I waited upon Him. Hallelujah!

I don't want to come out of my room this morning, and yet, I know i need to.  Sigh.  It won't be long before hubby pokes his head in to see if I've fallen asleep.  I love this time alone to write, to read, to just pause the world for a moment and be still.

Psalm 46:10 "Be still and know that I am God."

Take some time to pause this morning and realize that He is God, and you are not.  You can not control the things going on in your mind or in your body. You cannot control the circumstances that are going on around you.  You can't control God.  But you can pause and seek Him, ask Him for what you need (yes, sometimes that means humbling yourself before Him), and thank Him for whatever answer He gives you.  Sometimes the answer is 'Yes'; sometimes it is 'No'; and sometimes it is 'continue to wait and ask'.  Yes, you can ask more than once.  Keep seeking Him for Him, not for the answers.  We don't always get our own way (I know that for a fact!) when we ask Him for something, but trust Him and believe that He will answer, and that your mind will receive what the answer is.

Show us Your glory, Lord!  Do it again, Lord! Answer the prayers of Your children when they call out to You.  You are Almighty, All Powerful, and Loving, and Kind. Holy is Your name. Thank You for answered prayers, Lord. Help us to walk in the way we should walk, that we will find You.

Blessings!

Running behind.... again...By

 What is it this week that I just can't get this done in a timely manner?  Maybe I DO need to start skipping it once in awhile..... 

I must tell you something that I found very amusing yesterday.  I was hungry at noon yesterday so I told hubby 'let's go to Arby's' for lunch.  It's food, of course he will go.  So we get there and we are inside placing our order.  Hubby gives his first, and then I selected one, with a small drink.  No fries, cause I will just eat hubby's.   The 'clerk' was probably in his late 20's I'm guessing.... he looked at me after we gave him the order and asked, "do you want the senior discount?"  Hubby immediately responds "We both do!" The young man (I'm laughing by this time) says to me, "I know he is a senior, but I'm not sure that you are old enough." (are you rolling your eyes here?)  Of course I'm right into the moment!  He continues, I can't give you the senior discount if you are only 54.  I'm loving the attention, for sure - and when he said he needed to see 'proof' of my age, I quickly pulled out my driver's license - and he studied it, then handed it back.  I told him 'thank you for making my day'!  I thought it was hilarious!  

I knew my daughter would get a kick out of it so I told her about it.  She came back with 'You go, girl!"  

I sent the same message to my sister and her response?  "See what a new haircut will do for you!!?!

I think I like my daughter's comment better! LOL  I knew the guy was pulling my leg, and I was enjoying the moment.  As older women, we grab on to any compliment we can.

It's Friday and hubby has two doctor things today.  One to go get his shot - and I don't need to go with him there.  The second is to his vascular surgeon.  He told me I didn't need to go with him, but I need to ask why he is having this appointment.  If it is just to check on his past surgeries (six month check up), then no, I don't think I need to go.  His medical issues aren't with the vascular part of his body, but the internal parts of liver and kidneys.  Will figure it out when he returns home after his shot.  I don't want to take off work more than I need to.

I'm still debating on taking the 29th off as he does have Dr. Mark - and I 'lose' about 3 hours of work when we go there.  It's on a Wednesday, which is sometimes busy.  My trainer is leaving on the 30th for a trip and asked if I could come during my lunch hour on the 29th - I told her no, but if I take the day off, could go earlier in the day.  She will let me know what works for her and then I'll decide on taking the day off. Maybe I just need to go ahead and put in for it since I keep thinking about it.  Still thinking about it.

Tonight hubby and I plan to go to a worship service at church.  We have met some people by going to the Revelation group study on Wednesday nights, and are starting to feel like we actually 'know' people there at church now.  Besides - all we would do if we didn't is sit and watch movies or read.  Worshipping God is a lot of more fun and being with 'real' people (versus ones in a movie or book) is more interesting.  I don't think we have anything specific planned for tomorrow (Saturday), so I will probably get started on baking.  I may make that banana pudding on Sunday... or Saturday. I don't know - but need to do it soon as the bananas are ripe. And, you may remember, I bought way more than I thought I did!  I thought I ordered 7 and I counted as I put in the refrigerator - I got 19.  Yeah, I certainly got more than I thought I did.  Hubby also told me he is out of his peach muffins.... I guess that means he wants me to make him more of them.

And - I need to get off here as it is after 7AM and I am jumping back and forth from my work computer to here.  Need to get dressed and focused on getting things done for work.  So with that - have a great day ..... until tomorrow...

Blessings!

What image do we project?

 Have you ever stopped to think about what image you project to others?  Think about this - we have three images:  a perceived image, a projected image, and an actual image.  What's the difference?

Our perceived image is how others see us.  Our projected image is the way we desire others to see us. Our actual image is who we really are.  While our actual image can be hidden from others, it it fully visible to God.  And, it is how we will be revealed before God at the judgement seat.

2 Corinthians 5:10 (NKJV):  For we all must appear before the judgement seat of Christ, that each one may receive the things done in the body, according to what he has done, whether good or bad.

In other words, how we have lived our life here on earth, is what we will be judged by in front of the judgement seat of God.  What is the difference from the above?  Think about this - Jesus was misunderstood, falsely accused, identified as a drunkard and glutton, a heretic, and even accused of satan using him.  He was rejected. His perceived image was unfavorable in the eyes of many.

Jesus' stepbrothers wanted Him to 'prove' Himself - and pressured Jesus to live out a projected image.  "you say you are the Son of God; show your miracles to the world and prove it!"  But yet, Jesus' actual image is quite different from what many perceived, for he is the visible image of the invisible God.  Jesus' perceived image isn't what endured beyond His death and resurrection.  What endured, is His actual image.

So sit back and think about who you are.  Who are you when around others?  When around your friends; around your family - are you the same person, and are you giving a perceived, projected, or an actual image?  Seriously, I want you to stop and think about this.  I did.

All of us want people to think good of us.  I'm one of those people.  I don't want people to know my bad days or my bad thoughts (well, obviously you do, if you read in here!).  But I don't want to be known by those.  I don't try to pretend I'm better than anyone else (I'm definitely not!) and I don't want others to look at me and think that I'm boastful or prideful (you know how pride and I fight all the time!) but I want them to see the REAL me.  Broken, bruised, yes - but one who has surrendered their life to the One who can save me.  It doesn't mean I don't fall at times; but when I seek Him, and ask forgiveness, I know that He will help me give up the things that try to take me down and will set my feet on His firm found dation of solid ground.  

We have seen what pride has done to some people; and sadly they don't realize that people reject them for their pride.  We all know people like that.  What can we do with those people?  We pray for them, that their eyes will be opened, and we forgive them for this projected image.

We have seen what people do when they want others to think highly of them - when in reality, we know they are not who they think they are (even in their minds).  

Why can't we be the person we are?  What causes us to be afraid of who we are and don't want others to see it?  The thing is, when judgement comes, God sees all.  Who are you, really?  Be that person! Don't hide behind who you think you are or want to be.  Don't be 'like' someone else, be yourself!

Ok - I had that on my mind because of my reading for today so wanted to get it out there before I forgot and moved on. So now that you have skimmed through all that.... 

We had our Revelation study last night at church and it went well.  Because we don't get home until about 8:45PM (past our bedtime!) we stay up another hour or so just to relax and get ourselves ready for bed.  And what happened this morning?  I woke up at 3:15AM, but was able to go back to sleep - after all, I had 45 minutes more, at least, right?  I woke up next at 5:20AM!  So I'm having to skip some of my reading this morning so that I can type in here and get on the work computer (which I already have up).  (So am I perceiving, projecting or actual?)  Trust me - this is me, running around like a chicken with its head cut off because I'm running behind my 'schedule'!

Today is work; still trying to learn aspects of PowerPoint. I know some basics, but I need to learn more. Watching YouTube videos to hopefully find the answers I need on how to fix a PowerPoint slide.  Yesterday wasn't that busy so was able to watch some (then got bored and turned it off).  Today I'm not sure what all I will have to do; I know I have 3 meetings I need to move as soon as I can.  Was waiting on responses of availability when I signed off last night.  My workout is at 5PM so no rushing around there. Then we are taking a grandson out for his birthday.  Nothing fancy; probably will just go to Mercer's not far from him.  Housecleaners are coming today so I need to do pick up off the couch and straighten a few things.  I think this time I will not have this room cleaned; my amazon boxes are stacking up (I have no place to store the items inside for now - Christmas gifts).  So - for at least two months he can skip this room, as we have done before.  The only thing it really needs is the carpet done but I have boxes all over it so may as well skip it.

And with all that - I need to get off here and head to the work computer.  Once I sign in and skim messages, I'll get dressed as the housecleaners will be here between 8-8:30AM I think.  They do a great job cleaning, for sure, since hubby won't clean and won't let me (except when he's gone and I can sweep and mop the kitchen floor!).  I'm usually embarrassed things are messy, but they don't get touched except once a month.

Today is my youngest son's birthday - 51 years old... doesn't seem possible.  Grateful God has answered my prayers and protected him all these years; he has done some really stupid things.  As we all have, but.... and I'll leave that there. Happy birthday, son, just in case you read here.

Blessings!