I have a 7AM training appointment this morning, plus I need to stop and get gas either on the way there (preferably) or on the way back, so this will be short this morning. As if my many words can't fill this page up. I did not want to get up this morning. But I also could not go back to sleep. I sat up and read for a little bit last night after hubby went to bed, and even going to bed later, I woke a few times during the night and finally just got up.
We had our first group session at church last night on the book of Revelation. It was a good session, but I will admit it is hard to hear everyone across the table because there are 12-14 tables in the room and about 8 at each table, and we are all talking at the same time. Still, it was a good discussion. Hubby only got mad at me once for 'interrupting' him when he was sharing a story (and leaving out details that I was supplying) so I clammed up basically for the rest of the evening. I am sure our leaders noticed it for they kept looking at me and calling on me for answers most of the time we were there. I just can't help it when we are asked a question and I want to share 'just enough' and hubby wants to be important enough to share more than I think he should. Not putting hubby down. I get it. He has fought for his thoughts and opinions to be valued for years - and yes, I and the kids have shut him out of things for years - for our own reasons not to be mentioned here. Was it right to shut him out? No. But it was our defense system, I think. Anyway, he will publicly call me out on it when I interrupt him - so I just shut up. I've told you before how he claims I monopolize conversations. And I do, I admit it. Especially when it is a topic I know something about. Ok - enough about that.
We got 'homework' to review before next Wednesday and I am hoping to start on it perhaps tonight. I don't think we have anything going on.
I did a 'thang' yesterday. I need a calendar to put both my and hubby's schedules on it. Not that I really care what his is, but it is more that since I have to go to his doctor appointments - and yes, that is plural, and have to take off work, I need to know how to work around my work and his appointments. I went online - Amazon, of course - and ended up ordering one of the electronic calendars you can hang on the wall. My daughter has a much more expensive one, but I got a small one that hubby and I can get our appointments on that I know what I have to do. I still have my 'personal' calendar - but don't really need it except when I need to carry it with me. I don't do the phone calendars; I never look at them. Never got in the habit of putting my life in my phone. I'm more of a 'paper person'. And still am. Hubby will probably still write it on his desk calendar - and that's ok too. But we will combine then on the new electronic calendar. I think it will arrive today - just a 15" one - and my daughter said she would come over and help us set it up and connect it to our phones. The best part? I had enough points from ordering on Amazon all year - that I got it for 'free'. Last year I used the points for Christmas gifts. This year I used it on the calendar. Win-win - it didn't really cost me anything.
Deuteronomy 13:4 (NIV): It is the Lord your God you must follow, and Him you must revere. Keep His commands and obey Him; serve Him and hold fast to Him.
With everything I have written over the years, surely you have seen how much I need God. It really isn't 'hard' to follow Him; it's the 'want to' follow Him that trips so many of us up. Or maybe it isn't the 'want' but what we want to do is sometimes greater than what we know He wants us to do. But when we follow Him and trust Him and take Him at His Word, we believe Him, we believe His Word and choose to do it - our lives are so much better.
It doesn't matter if sickness overcomes us. Who do you trust? It doesn't matter if we lose everything. Who do we lean in to? It doesn't matter if we are alone or with others - who are we choosing to follow? These are just a few questions that sometimes we need to ask ourselves to get ourselves back on track. It is so easy to turn to the left instead of the right in our mental discussions of right and wrong, isn't it? When we are hurting and under stress - some of us turn to God and beseech Him to help us. Sometimes He does; sometimes He doesn't. It isn't that He doesn't love us when He doesn't help us, but it is more that we need to suffer the consequences so that we will run after Him. Does that make sense?
I've seen people healed who were sure that they would follow Jesus for the rest of their lives.... and yet, I've seen the world take them over. I get it. Sometimes I've let the 'world' rule us as well. And it isn't only me. And I'm not going to sit and point fingers so will hush on that one.
Besides, I need to get off here and start getting dressed and brush my teeth so that I can get down the road to the gym. Hope it lightens up some! Of course it is only 5:45AM so I guess there is a reason. Other than I hear we are to get rain the rest of this week - maybe - and it was pretty cloudy with gray clouds last night.
In the meantime - seek Jesus. Ask Him for His help. Seek His hand for whatever your need is. Sometimes we just need to rest in Him, so be still, and know that He is God.
Blessings!
Today will be day 3 for doing 50 squats a day. I'm not in any challenge, it's just something I want to keep up - plus it helps keep my legs strong when I'm not working out. I don't see much change in my body even with working out - because doing it only twice a week and only that one body part once a week - helps - but not enough to see changes. I'm hoping that with doing the squats I can keep my legs strong and tighten them up. (my butt too, but that is an entirely different subject!)
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