I went with hubby yesterday to the oncologist office. Before he came in, hubby kept going over with me what he needed to say to get the PET scan. But the tables got turned on us. The oncologist looked at his last blood tests from last week, and said "all your numbers are back in the normal range. You don't need a PET scan." Wait, what? He tried to show us on the screen, but numbers are small and it wasn't on the numbers I really wanted to see. He asked what hubby had been doing - nothing but drinking 50 ounces of water a day. The oncologist said he didn't know what changed the numbers, but it could be his organs were dehydrated and causing the numbers to be off the charts. But I/we looked at him and said, "No, it is the answer to prayers." Of course the response we got from that doctor was something like "well, yeah, maybe". He was the nicest he has been since I have met him. I think this was the third time. As we left, they were supposed to give us a copy of the labs - but the girl got confused I think, and just gave hubby the lab request for his next appointment in January. That wasn't what we were to get - or in addition to. I got frustrated at hubby; he didn't say anything about it. Later in the day I asked to see the tests, for I wanted to compare numbers with the last two reports I have. He said it was on his desk - so I went to get it - and realized (as he had) that the lab report wasn't there. I was dumbfounded. I asked him why didn't he get in his car and go back to get them? He was taking the oncologist's word that 'everything was fine' when he only takes care of the prostate! What about the liver and kidneys? I want to see those numbers! Hubby finally said that he will go over there this morning and ask for them to be printed as he gets something else done and then goes to visit a friend. Men. I would have been all over that and gotten right back in the car and gotten them!
Morgan wasn't 'nice' to me last night and really worked my legs - even though I told her I was sore from the walk I did the day before - and had gotten over 13k miles. She made me push through - including lunges in the last 3 minutes of her time with me. I kept telling her we could 'talk' that last three minutes, but she made me do lunges. Oh well, I did them. And my legs are telling me I did as well this morning. I have core on Wednesday so I need to do 'something' today to keep the body limber.
Talked to my youngest last night; they were staying on an Army base in Brooklyn and then will be taking a cab into New York City Madison Square this morning. They will look at things all around there, and take a cab back to the base. Because of the excess walking they will be doing today, they are staying an extra night in Brooklyn before starting out tomorrow morning and heading to... I forget, one of them is Washington DC, Virginia.... and I forget where else he wants to go through tomorrow. Sure will be glad when he is back home; I don't mind him being going and enjoying it all, but I don't like any of my children that far away from me that if something happened I couldn't get to them.
Psalm 40:8 (NKJV): I delight to do Your will, O my God, and Your law is within my heart.
Can you honestly say that? I think I can. I do love to do the things that I know God wants me to do. I know the things I should do. But, alas, many times I choose to do things MY way, instead of letting Him lead me. My guess is that you do that as well. We think we know so much better, that many times we do not even pause to ask God, "What is Your will in this matter?" When things come upon us, and we don't know what to do, do we second-guess ourselves instead of pausing and asking God to direct us and lead us where He wants us to go? To get the advice He wants us to get? To make a second or even third phone call to get the result that is needed/wanted? There is one thing that I have read recently that has stuck with me. I know it to be true.
God will never take you to a place that He will not lead you through it.
With hubby's diagnoses these past couple of months and the uncertainty of what is going on within his body - it was just BOOM! your kidneys and liver numbers are off the chart! That can scare anyone because we had no knowledge of why or how. So what did that do to us? Did we sink into depression and worry? Well, there was 'concern', don't get me wrong. But we did the only thing we knew to do. We prayed and asked God to intervene. Would He? We didn't know, but we trusted Him enough to ask Him to get us through this. And He has. Could we not have been told the full truth? Possibly. Different doctors look at different things. Hubby has an appointment on 10/29 with Dr. Mark and he will tell us exactly what the numbers are and what is going on. But all in all, we were able to give a testimony to the oncologist of God's greatness and answers to prayer. And we can also give it to Dr. Mark should he tell us the same thing, seeing all the numbers.
Sometimes God leads us through trials so that He can get our attention. Sometimes people tend to blame God for whatever happens to them or their loved ones. If things don't go the way you want them to - do you just deal with the issue - or do you blame God because things didn't go the way you wanted them to?
I tell you what! I fear God more than I fear men. God can do anything He wants to me and in me. If He chooses to lead me through the valley of the shadow of death - so be it. I know He will walk with me all the way, because He loves me. As Paul says in the Bible, Philippians 1:21, For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain.
For us here on earth, we are to honor, praise, glorify, and fear God. And yes, obey Him. It's all part of it. It's even better when we surrender our lives to Him. Let Jesus 'in', and kick the devil out of your life. The devil brings pain and death. God brings joy and life. Which would you choose. To live for Him brings joy; to die to be with Him brings everlasting joy. We always think we have time to make that last minute decision to turn to Jesus and ask for His forgiveness and grace. But it doesn't always happen that way. I would rather choose Jesus now, and live for Him as best as I know how - than my final moment come and I be cast into hell because I didn't have time to seek Jesus. Hell is a horrible place, eternal torment. I choose Jesus, and heaven, cause I want Joy, not pain. What's your choice?
Blessings!
No comments:
Post a Comment