It was something we hadn't expected....

 I went with hubby yesterday to the oncologist office. Before he came in, hubby kept going over with me what he needed to say to get the PET scan.  But the tables got turned on us.  The oncologist looked at his last blood tests from last week, and said "all your numbers are back in the normal range. You don't need a PET scan."  Wait, what?  He tried to show us on the screen, but numbers are small and it wasn't on the numbers I really wanted to see.  He asked what hubby had been doing - nothing but drinking 50 ounces of water a day.  The oncologist said he didn't know what changed the numbers, but it could be his organs were dehydrated and causing the numbers to be off the charts.  But I/we looked at him and said, "No, it is the answer to prayers."  Of course the response we got from that doctor was something like "well, yeah, maybe".  He was the nicest he has been since I have met him.  I think this was the third time.  As we left, they were supposed to give us a copy of the labs - but the girl got confused I think, and just gave hubby the lab request for his next appointment in January.  That wasn't what we were to get - or in addition to. I got frustrated at hubby; he didn't say anything about it.  Later in the day I asked to see the tests, for I wanted to compare numbers with the last two reports I have.  He said it was on his desk - so I went to get it - and realized (as he had) that the lab report wasn't there.  I was dumbfounded.  I asked him why didn't he get in his car and go back to get them?  He was taking the oncologist's word that 'everything was fine' when he only takes care of the prostate! What about the liver and kidneys?  I want to see those numbers! Hubby finally said that he will go over there this morning and ask for them to be printed as he gets something else done and then goes to visit a friend.  Men.  I would have been all over that and gotten right back in the car and gotten them!

Morgan wasn't 'nice' to me last night and really worked my legs - even though I told her I was sore from the walk I did the day before - and had gotten over 13k miles.  She made me push through - including lunges in the last 3 minutes of her time with me. I kept telling her we could 'talk' that last three minutes, but she made me do lunges.  Oh well, I did them.  And my legs are telling me I did as well this morning.  I have core on Wednesday so I need to do 'something' today to keep the body limber.

Talked to my youngest last night; they were staying on an Army base in Brooklyn and then will be taking a cab into New York City Madison Square this morning. They will look at things all around there, and take a cab back to the base. Because of the excess walking they will be doing today, they are staying an extra night in Brooklyn before starting out tomorrow morning and heading to... I forget, one of them is Washington DC, Virginia.... and I forget where else he wants to go through tomorrow.  Sure will be glad when he is back home; I don't mind him being going and enjoying it all, but I don't like any of my children that far away from me that if something happened I couldn't get to them. 

Psalm 40:8 (NKJV):  I delight to do Your will, O my God, and Your law is within my heart.

Can you honestly say that?  I think I can.  I do love to do the things that I know God wants me to do.  I know the things I should do. But, alas, many times I choose to do things MY way, instead of letting Him lead me.  My guess is that you do that as well.  We think we know so much better, that many times we do not even pause to ask God, "What is Your will in this matter?"  When things come upon us, and we don't know what to do, do we second-guess ourselves instead of pausing and asking God to direct us and lead us where He wants us to go?  To get the advice He wants us to get?  To make a second or even third phone call to get the result that is needed/wanted?  There is one thing that I have read recently that has stuck with me.  I know it to be true.

God will never take you to a place that He will not lead you through it.

With hubby's diagnoses these past couple of months and the uncertainty of what is going on within his body - it was just BOOM! your kidneys and liver numbers are off the chart!  That can scare anyone because we had no knowledge of why or how.  So what did that do to us?  Did we sink into depression and worry?  Well, there was 'concern', don't get me wrong.  But we did the only thing we knew to do.  We prayed and asked God to intervene.  Would He?  We didn't know, but we trusted Him enough to ask Him to get us through this.  And He has.  Could we not have been told the full truth? Possibly.  Different doctors look at different things.  Hubby has an appointment on 10/29 with Dr. Mark and he will tell us exactly what the numbers are and what is going on.  But all in all, we were able to give a testimony to the oncologist of God's greatness and answers to prayer.  And we can also give it to Dr. Mark should he tell us the same thing, seeing all the numbers.

Sometimes God leads us through trials so that He can get our attention.  Sometimes people tend to blame God for whatever happens to them or their loved ones.  If things don't go the way you want them to - do you just deal with the issue - or do you blame God because things didn't go the way you wanted them to?

I tell you what!  I fear God more than I fear men.  God can do anything He wants to me and in me.  If He chooses to lead me through the valley of the shadow of death - so be it.  I know He will walk with me all the way, because He loves me.  As Paul says in the Bible, Philippians 1:21, For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain.

For us here on earth, we are to honor, praise, glorify, and fear God. And yes, obey Him.  It's all part of it. It's even better when we surrender our lives to Him.  Let Jesus 'in', and kick the devil out of your life. The devil brings pain and death.  God brings joy and life.  Which would you choose.  To live for Him brings joy; to die to be with Him brings everlasting joy.  We always think we have time to make that last minute decision to turn to Jesus and ask for His forgiveness and grace. But it doesn't always happen that way.  I would rather choose Jesus now, and live for Him as best as I know how - than my final moment come and I be cast into hell because I didn't have time to seek Jesus.  Hell is a horrible place, eternal torment.  I choose Jesus, and heaven, cause I want Joy, not pain.  What's your choice?

Blessings!

Our new neighbors....

 Yesterday afternoon we had noticed their garage door was open.  I knew that earlier in the week our neighbor had told me she was there alone, staining their cabinets, so i figured that was what was happening.  We went to the gym and came back; still, the door was open, and no cars anywhere around.  As we started to leave for church, still open, I had hubby go knock on the door in to the house from the garage to see if someone was there.  No answer.  He went to the front door and rang the doorbell.  No answer.  I got out of the car and went inside, calling out their names.  No one was there.  We debated on what to do - and decided to go on to church and see if it was still open when we got back.  A neighbor called me as we were leaving church and reported our 'roof mate' had their garage open and she didn't see anyone there.  As we arrived back home, the garage door was still up.  We went over, using our phones as flashlights, and thought we would find the indoor garage door button.  Well, I think they took it out cause the wall it was on is totally gone and we couldn't find it anywhere.  Decided to at least lock the back door and go out the front... only the front was key locked and I had given them my key so we couldn't get out.  Back to the back door, we went out and locked it, thinking we would have to leave the garage door open - with all the supplies in it.  As we were standing at the end of the garage I noticed a box on the side; they had put in a garage door opener that has a code to open it.  I certainly didn't know the code... but I hit 'enter', and it started closing the door!  We came home and hubby found their email address so sent them an email what we had done.  I sent them an email over my phone and asked that they give us their telephone numbers and gave them ours.  Will see how it comes out today when the workers start to arrive - or they do - sure hope they read the email and read that the back door is locked.

I didn't get much 'work' done yesterday - well, I did in a way.  I mentioned two of my bosses were on vacation as of yesterday.... well, my wonderful male boss left me about six emails before he signed off to schedule 3 all day meetings in person at corporate and shoot!  I forgot to check on conference rooms!  I will need to do that today! - and several other meetings.  And, I had lunch with my friend, which was a nice distraction.  But I didn't get much of anything else done.  Was glad when 4PM came and I jumped off the computer to head to the gym.  And Morgan worked me hard last night - my shoulders feel it this morning!  She even had me doing modified pushups!  

There is a 6AM our time board meeting that right now I don't have to take minutes for - so I'm debating about even calling in to it.  I have 15 minutes to decide.  I'm thinking I won't this time.  I just don't want to.  It's the new one in Colorado and I was told someone was already lined up to take minutes and the agenda is already sent and I have nothing to do.  I think it best if I just stay far away from it - right?  Yeah, I think that is what I will do.  For as long as I can, anyway.

In my book this morning I was reading about a section of a movie that I have not seen, nor plan to. You may have seen it; The Shawshank Redemption.  This chapter talks about one of the prisoners by the name of Brooks Hatlen.  He was a loveable prisoner who had been in jail for 50 years - institutionalized, they say - and worked in the library.  His time for review came up and he didn't want to leave - so he held a knife to an inmate's throat, hoping that would allow him to stay.  It didn't, and he was released.  He got a small job and stayed in a halfway house.  But he missed being in prison; things were too different now.  So he climbed upon a table and put a noose around his neck and kicked the table out - and hung himself.  

And isn't that what so many of us do - not the hanging part - but we miss the days of when we were 'in prison' so much that we look for ways to get back there.  We choose our own prisons.  We have prisons of insecurity where we constantly worry about what others think of us.  We have prisons of anger in which we hold in and spurt out on occasions often never understanding what even brings that anger to the surface.  Until we learn what the anger is that we are holding inside and speak it out we will constantly be going back to the anger prison.  We must learn to speak our anger so that we can get that door open to the prison of anger we have put ourselves in.  There is also the prison of work, in which people bury themselves in so that they can feel secure, valued.  Some people will work until they die because it is their life.  (but, some of us keep working because we HAVE to, not because of any security we need!).  Some keep others in prisons of their own choosing.

But we need to break free of those prisons we have placed ourselves in.  We need to step back and look at what prison we chose to live our days in - and determine how we can open the door of the cell and get out to live life.

'A prison cell holds us when the issue that created the imprisonment has a hold over us. Somewhere along the road of our lives, we were presented with a lie, and we chose to believe it, giving it power. This belief may have been conscious, subconscious, or unconscious, but that lie deep inside us creates slavery. All lies do, even small ones. Only by replacing the lie with the truth as deep inside as we are able, and putting our emotional and intellectual weight down on it, will we be set free.' (fresh-brewed life by Nicole Johnson).

The One I chose to break me out of prison was Jesus.  In Him I can live, and move, and breathe.  In Him I have complete freedom, for He has set me free from all things.  And He can do that for you too, if you will choose Him over the world.  You will find that the world has nothing good for you; only Jesus is able and willing to give you all that you need.  He is Life, and Breath to those who seek Him.  He will provide all that you need to break out of your prison.  All you have to do is ask Him.  Will you?

Blessings!

Doing the Friday 'dance'...

 This week has been so busy with the upcoming trip that my male boss is taking next week that by the end of the day, I'm exhausted just from struggling to get the answers I need to complete the tasks I have to do. Does that make sense?  It has truly been a stressful week; Monday and Tuesday moreso than yesterday, and I'm hoping today will be even less.  I actually could sit back and 'breathe' yesterday afternoon.  Today I will pull it all together on his itinerary and plan to get it sent over to him at least by Monday morning. I refuse to work the weekend on it.  I do need to create a check list and make sure I have everything in place.  Finding a conference room this late in the 'game', I was starting to stress out.  But I do have one contact in Colorado that has been extremely helpful.  She not only gave me the hospitals that have conference rooms we can use, but also diagrams of where they are.  Soooo grateful for her!  I keep telling this male boss he needs to hire her.  But the problem with the conference rooms stem from the finding out next week is 'hospital week' and some of the larger, nicer conference rooms are already reserved so that the hospitals can have employee gatherings.  Since the world is starting to celebrate Everyone and Everything.... maybe we just need to party every day, you think?  This week has been 'Nurse's week'.  The week before had 'Administrative Professional' (aka Secretary) day.  Come to think about it, why do we only get one day and hospitals and nurses get a whole week?  Is that fair?

My favorite boss actually sent me a GIF yesterday of someone dancing cause it was almost Friday.  Yeah, I was dancing with it!  So today is Friday and I am so ready for this week to be over.  I have things in my mind I want to get completed this weekend, but will see how it all goes.  I know I don't have specific plans laid out, but want to get some things accomplished.   I bought some new bucket planters.... perhaps I will start with those.  I ordered from Woot - and was surprised to find three of them delivered yesterday is small, short boxes.  I didn't even want to deal with it last night so haven't opened them yet, but I'm guessing I may have to put them together.  Seriously?  But I guess for $21 they want me to do the work.  I'll open one this morning when I get a chance and see what it is.  I think I'll get more rock for this one area in the courtyard and set these on top of it.  The ground is so hard and hubby is a pain to get to water on a regular basis.  He tends to get upset when I just sneak out and do it myself.  I'd rather do it myself, for then I know they are watered correctly. That's why my plants - even the drought ones, often die.  He just 'forgets' to water them, in spite of my telling him to wait no longer than a few days.  A whole nother story there!

One thing I have noticed the past few days of taking these new 'drops' that I started..... I seem to be sleeping deeper and wanting to sleep longer.  I wake up and force myself to get up, knowing I want to come in here for my alone time.  (yes, it is THAT important to me to have this each morning) But this morning, I once again snuggled down into my chair and wanted to go back to sleep.... but heard hubby get up so knew I shouldn't.  Plus I have my 'routine'.  And I go to sleep right away the past couple of nights. I think I have been taking the drops now about 7=8 days.  We did go to bed at 9:30PM instead of 8:30PM last night.... but still....

Matthew 18:15 (NKJV):  Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother.

Of course the verse isn't just meaning your 'real' brother, but any person that has sinned against you.  We could probably also put it as: Moreover if your friend (or relative) sins against you, go and tell them their fault between you and them alone. If they hear you, you have gained a (better) friend.   I'm not going to go into family relationships - but what about 'friend relationships'?  Sometimes when a friend says or does something that has angered or hurt us, we withdraw from them without explanation. They, in turn, may feel hurt at the distance you have put between you.  But what if you go to them and just say, "Hey, when we were together talking, you said such and such (or did such and such), and it really bothered me.  I had to step back from you because I didn't like where it was going.  Can we talk about this?"  If the friend is truly your friend, they will listen to you and hear what you say.  In that, you have gained even a greater friend, one that will be closer than a brother.   I think we all have learned that when we bring family into it, many times they don't want to reason it out but will defend themselves.  Sometimes we just have to process and let it die down on its own.  

Trust me, I know this.  Reminds me of a chorus in a song - it just came to mind.... "all I can do is worship, all I can do is bow down....'  .  Not to that individual, of course, but to the One who can heal all things.  I know I have thrown myself in to prayer (and tears at times) when I have been 'put in my place' by a family member.  It isn't that I am not loved by them (well, by most of them I am loved.  I think), but we all have 'those things' that irritate us and cause us to withdraw and step away.  Many times the ones we are stepping away from have no clue what is going on. They don't know what they did. They don't know to change their behavior.  We all need to be more verbal, I guess.  I'm a guilty one there.  

Growing up I learned to keep my opinions (most times) to myself.  I learned the hard way not to share my thoughts about people's behaviors (yeah, I know I do it in here all the time, right? But it's my 'safe place'.) as the years have gone by.  And now that my children are 'grown up with families of their own' - they definitely do NOT want my opinion.  After all, I am the first to admit I made a mess of things. Not going to go there; it's in the past and I can't change anything.  And when it is brought to my attention of my failures, all I can say is "I'm sorry".  Being a parent is sometimes a learning process, especially when you didn't have an example to learn from.

Kind of like marriage.  And I think I will leave that comment alone.  

Life is too short to hold grudges and hatred towards anyone.  I noticed on social media that Dr. David Jeremiah is putting little videos of (I forget the titles) but something like 'It could happen now...' .  And as you watch this little video.... one was of a couple watching TV eating popcorn with an infant laying on blanket beside them.  Poof!  The baby disappeared (and the parents in the video didn't even notice).  Another one I saw last night was two videos of a restaurant where people were eating, sitting at a bar, and a waiter comes walking through carrying a large tray of food.  Poof  The waiter, several people at a table (but not all), and various people throughout the room disappeared.  What does this all mean?

I Corinthians 15:52 (NKJV):  ...in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet.  For the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed.

There will be no warning; no time to make that apology we meant to make but put off.  No time to hug one more time.  It will happen, and it will happen soon.  The trumpet will sound, and we shall all be changed.  I don't want to be left behind.  Do you?

It reminds me of a message our pastor did some time ago.  If the trumpet sounded, and you weren't taken, who would you call first to see if they were still here as well?  I don't want to be here, for the tough times we are in now as a nation will be much, much worse.  I want to be taken immediately when the trumpet sounds.  Being with Jesus is better than being left in the world.  Something to think about.  Do you need to re-evaluation where you are with Jesus?  Don't delay.  It could happen today.

Blessings!

Saturday rest

 I didn't sleep well last night.  I finally got up about 3:30AM and came in here and dozed a little before hubby got up.  He noticed I had the light off so I heard him come back down the hall and check a bit later and he saw my light was on - and brought me my coffee.  And, because he noticed I had been in here with the light off, asked if he was what kept me awake last night.  I wanted to say yes, but then he feels so bad that he did, so I just said I didn't sleep well.  He was part of the reason but not entirely the reason I didn't sleep well.  Not a big deal.  All of us have these restless nights when our minds just won't shut off.

This morning our great-granddaughter has a soccer game at 10:30AM so no need to be rushing about this morning.  Maybe I'll fix us egg sandwiches to tie us over until lunch.  Lunch will be a fun time today - meeting up with my oldest son.  We haven't been to this restaurant in several months.  We used to go frequently, but then they raised their prices on my favorite salmon meal and it irritated me.  They raised prices on other things as well, but I noticed it on my favorite meal.  Besides, for lunch, a salad and/or a sandwich is more than enough, since I rarely eat lunch during the week. Hubby is happy to be included.  The game should be over a little after 11AM as these little ones play for about 10 minutes and then they are 'tired' and don't want to play anymore.  LOL  The first game was nearly an hour long - now it is 25-30 minutes as that is about how long they can keep them coming on to the field to play. It's a hoot watching them.  And, since we will be wearing our 'team shirts', we can show my son what his daughter made for the team.  She did an awesome job on them.

I was so thrilled I got over 10,000 steps in yesterday!  I have not done that in a long time.  What did I do differently?  I would go jump on my trampoline (not high, just moving the feet, walking) a few times through out the day for about 5-10 minutes, plus I remember once while here at my desk I stood up and 'walked' at my desk for a few minutes.  I used to get 10,000 steps a day - I'd push myself to get them before I went to bed.  Do you remember me writing about those times?  Well, it's been months - and maybe even years since I have done that.  And, since we are in a 'contest' at work, and I created a team called the 'Jailbreak Walkers', I need to do my part.  Right now I am in last out of the 8 on my team.  Most are 10K steps ahead of me as they purposefully go walking every day.  My boss 'hikes' the hill behind her house every day at least once.  Me, I can't even walk around our block without hubby being afraid some one could kidnap me.  Yeah... it is what it is.  I gave away my treadmill last week and it opened up the back room.  I have my floor mat there now and I can get down and do some stretches and exercises.  And I have used it.  But I've used the trampoline more.  Got to drop some of this weight (so glad all the cookies are now gone - I 'saved' the last two for hubby) so I can move around more easily.  Which makes me think.... I wonder if my son will return his plate today, since I mentioned something about getting them back.... LOL

Starting tomorrow this is called 'Passion Week'.  What is Passion Week?  Tomorrow is 'Palm Sunday', when we believe that Jesus rode into Jerusalem on the back of a donkey colt.  According to scripture in the Old Testament, that is how our Messiah will arrive.  It is in Zechariah and also in the Gospels (see Matthew 21 for one of them)

Zechariah 9:9 (NKJV):  Rejoice greatly, O daughter of Zion! Shout, O daughter of Jerusalem! Behold, your King is coming to you; He is just and having salvation, lowly and riding on a donkey. A colt, the foal of a donkey.

Things that were prophesied about the Messiah in the Old Testament came true in the New Testament.  Isaiah prophesied about the birth of Jesus.  Zechariah prophesied how He would come in to Jerusalem.  Did you know that even King David spoke of the Messiah in the Psalms - and Jesus quoted from Psalm 22.

Psalm 22:1 (NKJV):  My God, My God! Why have you forsaken me? Why are You so far from helping me? And from the words of my groaning?

Mark 15:34 (NKJV):  And at the ninth hour Jesus cried out with a loud voice, saying, "Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?" Which is translated, "My God, My God, why have You forsaken me?"

God, Jesus' Father, our Heavenly Father, turned His back on His beloved Son, Jesus, because Jesus had taken all the sins we have committed, all the sins we will commit in the future, and bore our sins upon the cross.  He was weighted down with sorrow, with our sins, and God could not look upon Him because of our sins.  

But Jesus.  He cried out to His Father because He felt so alone on that cross.  So cold. So beaten. So much in pain. So human.  And He died. For my sins, and for yours.  

But the good news is that Jesus may have died, but He rose again three days later!  He came back to life to show us that we too, can come back to life when He is in us, and we abide in Him.  When we seek His face and ask forgiveness of our sins, He restores us and offers us eternal life with Him.  Our body may die and decay, but our souls will be with Him forever.  

I much prefer to walk on golden streets in heaven than burn in the pits of hell forever.  People laugh and make jokes about 'burning in hell', but it really is no joke.  Think about how much it hurts when you burn your hand cooking.  That's nothing compared to your entire body burning day and night forever because of pride and because one thinks they have plenty of time to accept Jesus as Lord.  Guess what! None of us know when our days will end.  I could get up out of this chair and fall dead.  And so could you.

Some of us have relatives that have passed and we know that they rejected Christ when they were alive.  It grieves the heart.  We still have a choice to accept Jesus as Lord.  You don't have to be perfect.  You don't have to have your life all together.  You will still make mistakes.  But Jesus says to you, "Follow me".  

Please do not delay any longer, but make this Passion Week YOUR Passion Week, the week you find Jesus and follow Him.  Jesus sees you, right where you are, and regardless of what you have done, He still says to you, "Follow me".

Blessings!

The Last Day...

 Today is day 21 of our fast.  We have occasionally slipped up, I will admit, to what I wanted us to fast, but we have avoided a lot of the things we normally would have eaten.  Try going 3 weeks without bread.  CHOCOLATE.  (I still have the candy dish on the coffee table full of chocolate that I have not touched.  I have an opened box of chocolate covered cherries just calling my name for the past 3 weeks...  no hamburgers, no steaks, no sandwiches..  but it is all worth it.    I can't wait to see how God answers the prayers we have prayed!

For some reason I have a slight headache this morning, although I am just finishing a cup of caffeine (coffee).  Not sure what that is about, but hope it leaves soon.  Perhaps it is because we didn't eat dinner last night?  I'm having food withdrawal?  Now that's a laugh, right?  I plan to cook eggs for breakfast this morning so we'll be covered.  Just no toast just yet.

My sister text'd me early this morning as I was reading my Bible and asked that I read her email.  So I stopped to read it... her best friend is dying, they have called in hospice.  Her friend was raised Baptist but turned to the Catholic faith later.  NOW, after all these years, my sister is concerned that her friend isn't a Christian... and she's wanting to have a pastor go talk to her - because her friend's daughter is calling in a priest for her last rites.  I was very blunt with my sister and told her she doesn't need to call a pastor to go see her friend, SHE can call her friend and talk with her about Jesus.  Long story short, she says she doesn't feel she is 'worthy' to tell her friend about Jesus.  I reminded her that NONE of us are worthy, but if God has laid it on her heart to make sure her friend goes to heaven, then she had best swallow her fears and do it! She didn't like that response.  She wanted to just call and say the 23rd Psalm over her friend via telephone (as my sister went to Florida after visiting her friend a few weeks ago, knowing she was dying).  I understand the fear of talking to someone about Jesus.  I go through it every time - but if God lays it on my heart that I need to do it - I dare not NOT do it!  I'm frustrated at my sister because she has this burden, but she wants to pass it off on someone else to do.   And this is her very best friend!  

But how many times do you - and I - pass things off to someone else because of fear, because we just don't want to do something?  It's as simple as going to the grocery store, isn't it?  We know we are out of food and need to go... but our 'don't want to, don't want to' and so try to get others to run to the store for us - or we put it off until we REALLY need to go to the store and then grumble because we didn't go three weeks earlier!  Yeah, lame example, huh?  

Something to think about, though, don't you think?  We often procrastinate (yes, I'm a good one on procrastination) because we want someone else to do it for us.  Then it comes down to the deadline of having to get something done.... when if we had done it timely, we wouldn't have the stress, the frustration, even the anger, at having to do something we didn't want to do.  Telling someone about Jesus shouldn't be a problem, should it?  Another example just came to mind, but at the risk of angering someone, I'll keep my mouth shut here. :-)

So glad it's Saturday; I slept in until about 5AM... I wake up earlier, but know I don't have to get up so I doze off and on.  You ever do that?  You see the clock and know what time it is but you just don't wanna get up. I often think I'd love to go some place and turn off all the alarms and just sleep until noon (like I tried to do years ago.  MANY years ago) if I wanted to. To lay in bed for as long as I wanted.  But then, I often start to think of the time I'm wasting... this is MY PERSONAL TIME... it's not work time I'm wasting, it is MY time - so why do I want to waste it?  So I get up. :-)  

Hubby left the TV off last night and I grabbed a book and started reading.  I had bought 4 books off of Facebook recently because of a blurb about them.  They came last week and I put them on my stack.  I grabbed one last night - they aren't very big - and started reading The cabin on the train by Michael V Ivanov... and finished it before going to bed. (if someone wants to borrow it, let me know).   I didn't know what to expect about this book, but it held my interest all the way through it.  It's a book about pursuing dreams.  Great encouragement and motivation to think about the dreams we have and what have we done with them.  Fiction of course, but it is a story about three men and a cabin on the train.  I truly enjoyed the book and have already grabbed another one of the books to read next.  Not usually the type of books I read, but I did enjoy this one and it gave me thought.

What are my dreams?  What were the dreams that I gave up on?  After reading the book, I sat quietly and thought about them.  I have always had a dream about writing a book.... but what have I done about that dream except put it off.  I do have a title and a first paragraph in a folder.  But that's it. WHEN am I going to make time to add to it?  It doesn't matter if anyone buys it or not... my dream is to write a book. Shouldn't I work on that dream?

Dreams I have given up on are probably many that have been forgotten.  Does that mean they weren't a dream? Naw, they just mean that they were for that moment in time - whether I worked towards them or not.  

So what are the dreams you have?  Or have had?  Did you ever share those dreams with others? Did they encourage you to pursue them?   Did you pursue them - or like me, did you put them off with a thought that 'in the future when I have more time' I can take care of that dream?

I know my one son has encouraged me to follow my dreams... but I don't know if the others even know about that dream of writing.  He knows, because he reads my blog... he knows more than he probably should because of what I write on here.  It's so much easier to write what I think or feel in here - whether any one reads it or not - I can ramble all I want - right?  I read my friend's blog that I shared on here recently, and am intimidated about how precise she writes and how her words flow together.  Me, I write like I decorate - throw it on the wall and if it sticks, it stays. If it falls, I find something else.  LOL 

O how I would love to have space and time to do the things I desire and love to do.  I have so many thoughts within this little brain of mine... but I also want to spend it with my family and love on them. They are more important to me than anything - other than my relationship with Jesus.   See how I can easily come up with excuses?  Jesus first, family second (i.e., loving on my children and grandchildren), and my dreams last.  Someday I will possibly get it in balance.

I'm lazy. I admit it.  I can't get even one mile of walking in most days.  I know I should. But I don't. I want to, but I don't.   Same with FINDING time to write, right?  I know I should, I know I can, but I don't.  I want a book to read, yarn to knit or crochet with, a corner of peace and quiet... yeah, the simple things in life.

Daniel 9:19 (NKJV):  "O Lord, hear! O Lord, forgive! O Lord, listen and act! Do not delay for Your own sake, my God, for Your city and Your people are called by Your name."

How many times do we choose to delay and not follow Jesus?  How many times does He whisper to us that He's waiting for us to come to Him, He's waiting.... and we delay and find other things to do instead.  We have all the excuses, don't we?  We like our currently lifestyles.  We don't think we are really doing anything 'bad' - so why do we need to follow Jesus?  We do for others, we take care of  things, isn't that good enough?  I believe there is a God, I believe there is Jesus His Son, I believe Jesus died on the cross for all my sins and rose again on the third day.  Why do I need to do something about it? I know it and I believe all that. I just choose to do what I want to do.

Is that where you are at?  Then my prayers are for you.  Yes, Jesus went to the cross, brutally beaten and whipped (HAH!  my entire screen just disappeared! Guess why that happened! The devil doesn't want you to read this!) and yet, He went willingly to the cross to die for you - and for me.

Can you even imagine your earthly father doing that?  I can't.  As much as I love my earthly father, I don't know that he would be beaten and go to the cross for me.  But Jesus did it for you and me.  He died, that we may live.  He took it all - all our sins - and killed them right there on the cross!  Oh how much He loves you and me to do that for us!

Jesus died, and rose again, so that we can live.  Why not take a moment and ask Jesus to be Lord of your life?  It doesn't mean you have to start a check list of things you need to give up.  Jesus will show you what He would ask you to do.  No one should 'tell' you what you have to do.  Jesus will put it on your heart - and you will find that the more you seek Him, the more you fall in love with Him, the more you want to be like Him.

Some sons want to be like their father.  Some girls want to be like their mother.  But our model should be Jesus.  He lived a perfect life, free of sin. Yet, He took ours and let it be nailed to the cross.

Choose to follow Jesus.  You will never regret it.  Your life may not be perfect; in fact, it could get quite rocky when you make this decision.  But it is a decision we all should make - because living for Jesus makes life worth living.

Blessings!