Today is day 21 of our fast. We have occasionally slipped up, I will admit, to what I wanted us to fast, but we have avoided a lot of the things we normally would have eaten. Try going 3 weeks without bread. CHOCOLATE. (I still have the candy dish on the coffee table full of chocolate that I have not touched. I have an opened box of chocolate covered cherries just calling my name for the past 3 weeks... no hamburgers, no steaks, no sandwiches.. but it is all worth it. I can't wait to see how God answers the prayers we have prayed!
For some reason I have a slight headache this morning, although I am just finishing a cup of caffeine (coffee). Not sure what that is about, but hope it leaves soon. Perhaps it is because we didn't eat dinner last night? I'm having food withdrawal? Now that's a laugh, right? I plan to cook eggs for breakfast this morning so we'll be covered. Just no toast just yet.
My sister text'd me early this morning as I was reading my Bible and asked that I read her email. So I stopped to read it... her best friend is dying, they have called in hospice. Her friend was raised Baptist but turned to the Catholic faith later. NOW, after all these years, my sister is concerned that her friend isn't a Christian... and she's wanting to have a pastor go talk to her - because her friend's daughter is calling in a priest for her last rites. I was very blunt with my sister and told her she doesn't need to call a pastor to go see her friend, SHE can call her friend and talk with her about Jesus. Long story short, she says she doesn't feel she is 'worthy' to tell her friend about Jesus. I reminded her that NONE of us are worthy, but if God has laid it on her heart to make sure her friend goes to heaven, then she had best swallow her fears and do it! She didn't like that response. She wanted to just call and say the 23rd Psalm over her friend via telephone (as my sister went to Florida after visiting her friend a few weeks ago, knowing she was dying). I understand the fear of talking to someone about Jesus. I go through it every time - but if God lays it on my heart that I need to do it - I dare not NOT do it! I'm frustrated at my sister because she has this burden, but she wants to pass it off on someone else to do. And this is her very best friend!
But how many times do you - and I - pass things off to someone else because of fear, because we just don't want to do something? It's as simple as going to the grocery store, isn't it? We know we are out of food and need to go... but our 'don't want to, don't want to' and so try to get others to run to the store for us - or we put it off until we REALLY need to go to the store and then grumble because we didn't go three weeks earlier! Yeah, lame example, huh?
Something to think about, though, don't you think? We often procrastinate (yes, I'm a good one on procrastination) because we want someone else to do it for us. Then it comes down to the deadline of having to get something done.... when if we had done it timely, we wouldn't have the stress, the frustration, even the anger, at having to do something we didn't want to do. Telling someone about Jesus shouldn't be a problem, should it? Another example just came to mind, but at the risk of angering someone, I'll keep my mouth shut here. :-)
So glad it's Saturday; I slept in until about 5AM... I wake up earlier, but know I don't have to get up so I doze off and on. You ever do that? You see the clock and know what time it is but you just don't wanna get up. I often think I'd love to go some place and turn off all the alarms and just sleep until noon (like I tried to do years ago. MANY years ago) if I wanted to. To lay in bed for as long as I wanted. But then, I often start to think of the time I'm wasting... this is MY PERSONAL TIME... it's not work time I'm wasting, it is MY time - so why do I want to waste it? So I get up. :-)
Hubby left the TV off last night and I grabbed a book and started reading. I had bought 4 books off of Facebook recently because of a blurb about them. They came last week and I put them on my stack. I grabbed one last night - they aren't very big - and started reading The cabin on the train by Michael V Ivanov... and finished it before going to bed. (if someone wants to borrow it, let me know). I didn't know what to expect about this book, but it held my interest all the way through it. It's a book about pursuing dreams. Great encouragement and motivation to think about the dreams we have and what have we done with them. Fiction of course, but it is a story about three men and a cabin on the train. I truly enjoyed the book and have already grabbed another one of the books to read next. Not usually the type of books I read, but I did enjoy this one and it gave me thought.
What are my dreams? What were the dreams that I gave up on? After reading the book, I sat quietly and thought about them. I have always had a dream about writing a book.... but what have I done about that dream except put it off. I do have a title and a first paragraph in a folder. But that's it. WHEN am I going to make time to add to it? It doesn't matter if anyone buys it or not... my dream is to write a book. Shouldn't I work on that dream?
Dreams I have given up on are probably many that have been forgotten. Does that mean they weren't a dream? Naw, they just mean that they were for that moment in time - whether I worked towards them or not.
So what are the dreams you have? Or have had? Did you ever share those dreams with others? Did they encourage you to pursue them? Did you pursue them - or like me, did you put them off with a thought that 'in the future when I have more time' I can take care of that dream?
I know my one son has encouraged me to follow my dreams... but I don't know if the others even know about that dream of writing. He knows, because he reads my blog... he knows more than he probably should because of what I write on here. It's so much easier to write what I think or feel in here - whether any one reads it or not - I can ramble all I want - right? I read my friend's blog that I shared on here recently, and am intimidated about how precise she writes and how her words flow together. Me, I write like I decorate - throw it on the wall and if it sticks, it stays. If it falls, I find something else. LOL
O how I would love to have space and time to do the things I desire and love to do. I have so many thoughts within this little brain of mine... but I also want to spend it with my family and love on them. They are more important to me than anything - other than my relationship with Jesus. See how I can easily come up with excuses? Jesus first, family second (i.e., loving on my children and grandchildren), and my dreams last. Someday I will possibly get it in balance.
I'm lazy. I admit it. I can't get even one mile of walking in most days. I know I should. But I don't. I want to, but I don't. Same with FINDING time to write, right? I know I should, I know I can, but I don't. I want a book to read, yarn to knit or crochet with, a corner of peace and quiet... yeah, the simple things in life.
Daniel 9:19 (NKJV): "O Lord, hear! O Lord, forgive! O Lord, listen and act! Do not delay for Your own sake, my God, for Your city and Your people are called by Your name."
How many times do we choose to delay and not follow Jesus? How many times does He whisper to us that He's waiting for us to come to Him, He's waiting.... and we delay and find other things to do instead. We have all the excuses, don't we? We like our currently lifestyles. We don't think we are really doing anything 'bad' - so why do we need to follow Jesus? We do for others, we take care of things, isn't that good enough? I believe there is a God, I believe there is Jesus His Son, I believe Jesus died on the cross for all my sins and rose again on the third day. Why do I need to do something about it? I know it and I believe all that. I just choose to do what I want to do.
Is that where you are at? Then my prayers are for you. Yes, Jesus went to the cross, brutally beaten and whipped (HAH! my entire screen just disappeared! Guess why that happened! The devil doesn't want you to read this!) and yet, He went willingly to the cross to die for you - and for me.
Can you even imagine your earthly father doing that? I can't. As much as I love my earthly father, I don't know that he would be beaten and go to the cross for me. But Jesus did it for you and me. He died, that we may live. He took it all - all our sins - and killed them right there on the cross! Oh how much He loves you and me to do that for us!
Jesus died, and rose again, so that we can live. Why not take a moment and ask Jesus to be Lord of your life? It doesn't mean you have to start a check list of things you need to give up. Jesus will show you what He would ask you to do. No one should 'tell' you what you have to do. Jesus will put it on your heart - and you will find that the more you seek Him, the more you fall in love with Him, the more you want to be like Him.
Some sons want to be like their father. Some girls want to be like their mother. But our model should be Jesus. He lived a perfect life, free of sin. Yet, He took ours and let it be nailed to the cross.
Choose to follow Jesus. You will never regret it. Your life may not be perfect; in fact, it could get quite rocky when you make this decision. But it is a decision we all should make - because living for Jesus makes life worth living.
Blessings!
