Decorations are up, tree is decorated and all is good....

Well, most all. sigh. Not going there.

Two of the grandchildren came over yesterday and we got the decorations up, tree up and decorated, and then they baked. One made cake pops and the other made delicious oatmeal cookies. OM goodness!! They were so good. Not the normal crunchy oatmeal raisin cookies, but soft, chewy oatmeal cookies. Oatmeal makes them healthy, right? Lots of fiber? Regardless, they all (but about 4) went home with him, and the cake pops (but 1 for grandpa) went home with our granddaughter. We also watched 'My Big Fat Greek Wedding' - one sibling wanted the other to watch it. After that they made their way home with their goodies.

We had a great time with just being together. At least I think so. They still want to make Christmas mice - but we aren't sure when we can get together again. Will see. I need to see who can come over next Saturday - having the grandchildren over are more important than me going out and fighting the crowds shopping. I may be doing a Suicide Prevention walk with a grandson - he asked if I would walk with him - but he hasn't sent me the information yet. I love to do the walks that are going on - The Color Run is in January, but I can't afford for two of us to do it - and since I can't go alone, I don't register. No, I'm not asking for pity - I'm just stating a fact. $25 is a lot of money when you don't have much - and $50 is even more. Yes, if there is something I want to get I will pay that - but for something that is just for me having fun, naw, I'm reluctant to fork out that kind of dough.

My house looks nice even though it seems a lot of decorations are missing. I finally 'cleaned house' on Christmas decorations a couple years ago and got rid of a lot. Gave away to the children and then donated to Big Brothers/Big Sisters. See, I really do want to 'de-clutter'. LOL Some things are just hard to let go of.

Don't really know of much to write today. Have a heavy heart for one of my boys.... his life choices are his alone and he has to "suffer" through the consequences of his choices. I just wish he would mature and realize some choices only makes things worse. He doesn't realize the things he says when he is like that. Last night he ended up in the hospital ER with 'chest pains'..... not sure what the official diagnosis is for that... since they gave him a steroid for his lungs - sounds like congestion in the chest and not heart...thank God. How I wish he would take responsibility and get his life on the right track. But there I go with my own opinions....

Today is another beautiful day and our doors are open to let the cool, fresh air in. Marley wants out, but we are waiting for the pool guy to come clean the pool so don't let her out until he leaves. Unless she whines too much then we let her out for a few minutes.

I've already baked a batch of the cranberry pumpkin nut bread this morning and it is cooling. Smells so good I could cut right into one - but I need to save them all for Christmas gifts. I'm out of nuts or I would get another batch out yet today. Don't really want to go to the store and fight crowds. Maybe I will get hubby to stop at Walmart on the way home from church. I need to pick up more binding anyway. My breakfast with girlfriends fell through for this morning as my boss text'd me last night she was sick. So we moved it out for a couple weeks.

I got to sleep in! Of course I awoke at 4AM, but then dozed off and on - finally arising a little after 715, I think.

I'm running out of things to say. Hope that you spend some time meditating on what is important in your life - and make it happen. Change if you need to; look at things a different way. Determine to make things better. Just do something. And when you fail on your own, turn to God, and allow Him to take control of your life and your decisions. THEN you will be able to turn and do good.

Blessings!

and it is now the day after.....

Thanksgiving, that is. What a great day it was yesterday! We had so much food - and I brought home so many leftovers! It seems everyone preferred ham over the turkey - and the 20 pound turkey I cooked yesterday morning - well, I would say 95% of what I took - I could have brought home - sent a lot home with my daughter. And still have a lot. Three containers went in to the freezer last night. All the deviled eggs were taken - and most of the dressing. I kept a couple pieces for hubby - and some for my middle child who went elsewhere for the holiday. Lots of giblet gravy was left over - have a nice container to send home with my boy, and we still have some!

Two of the grandchildren are on their way over to help me decorate for Christmas this year. It is sometimes a battle with hubby to get my Christmas items out to put up - even the tree. Last year it was the middle of December before he would get the tree and things down. This year I made the decision if he wouldn't get in the spirit of Christmas and get it down - I'd get the grandchildren over to help. So they are on their way now and we'll get the tree and decorations up today. I've already wrapped the gifts I've gotten thus far. Busy working on the handmade ones. Had to stop last night for my hands were starting to hurt. I think I have a touch of arthritis in the fingers and they hurt after awhile.

Went rummaging in a cabinet today and found some more Christmas boxes. I've decided that I am going to use up all the boxes this year - I am going to get some of things I hold on to (for whatever reason - of which I have no idea).

A friend stopped by this morning and brought biscuits and gravy, and a big container of ham and beans. He's so good to us. He didn't bring bread this time - I'm surprised - he always does - and 99% of the time I give it away to the neighbors or take to work. I can't have it around - I eat it! And I've already started my baking as well.

I love this time of year! I love the excuse for baking and doing things. Every year I say I'm going to start earlier - but I don't. Many more will be getting homemade gifts this year. I laugh when one grandchild has already told me he wants 50 oatmeal raisin cookies that are soft in the middle for Christmas. Know what? He's going to get them. All 50 of them. Oh - and some of my cranberry pumpkin nut bread. He wants it as well. His sister said that to me last year - she wanted my cheeseball and her very own bread. And that is what she got! She was happy and it was so fun to see her eyes light up when she opened the package. It was fun doing it.

Looking forward to having the grandchildren over on the weekends to make Christmas mice and cookies. I love having them over to bake and this year it is no different. What a joy they are to me. Everyone of them. I wish I could have an 'open door' policy and they could come whenever they want. But, well, maybe I can make that a Christmas wish....

Grandchildren are here - time to decorate! Hope you have a wonderful day!

Blessings!

Twas the Day before Thanksgiving.....

and here I am at work. Yes, I need to work today - but I'm sure that my boss will let me go home early if I want to! Christmas and New Years is even better - we work only 1/2 day on Christmas Eve - and then we are off Thursday AND Friday; and I think the same with New Years. Actually, we are off Thursday and Friday for Thanksgiving. I love my job. I really do, but I enjoy having the extra days to get things done.

Although I do not plan to join the thousands who will join the throngs of people shopping on Thanksgiving and especially the day after. Unless I go late afternoon. Since things are so tight financially, I probably won't be going out at all. Less than a month now until Christmas and I'm already trying to come up with things I can make for gifts. I've been able to get a few things completed, but still have so many to go. But, I'm not going to worry about it. Christmas shouldn't be about the gift - but about family. That's what I keep telling myself. Don't want to get a second job to have extras - so will make do with what we have.

And for that I am truly thankful. I do have a good job, a great boss. I enjoy what I do (most days). I am usually always busy here at work and yet, if I don't want to do it (unless I have a deadline), I can choose when I get it completed.

Looking at my calendar last night I realized I have created a really, really long weekend for me. I'm off Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, - and then I took Monday and Tuesday off. Why? Because I need to use my days before the end of the year or lose them. I have three other days scheduled later in the month. But, I am sure I will spend the day baking and getting gifts put together. I did manage to get some wrapping done last weekend of what I have already gotten. That helps for I create a list of who I am "finished" with and can concentrate of those I still need to do something for. Problem with that is, I still find things I want to get for who I already have something for. I love to give things and I love to surprise people.

So for today it is getting things done here at work to be gone for a few days. Tonight I'll bake the cornbread for the dressing and cut up the celery and onions, etc so that it will be ready to put together in the morning after the turkey has baked a bit.

Tomorrow morning is our 3rd Annual Family and Friends Turkey Trot Walk. I only expect about six of us to walk the 3-5 miles, but it will be fun. I set the time for 7AM but this morning I was thinking of changing it to 8AM. But then, I can get up early, get the turkey on, and do the walk - be back home by 9AM and get started on the rest of the dinner. We're meeting at the youngest son's this year and I'm taking the turkey, dressing, giblet gravy, deviled eggs...... maybe a green salad and I'm thinking about making my cranberry apple cobbler. Will see. I imagine I had best make enough dressing and gravy to save for my oldest son..... he seems to like it fairly well. I am going to assume he wants some. I think last year he asked for it. That always makes me feel good when the children - and grandchildren - ask for a specific dish I make. I hope that when I'm no longer able to join them, that someone will make that special dish and remember.

I always think of my mother and grandmother when I make my cornbread dressing for it is my grandmother's recipe that my mother always made - as have I. I call it Tennessee Cornbread Dressing for lack of another name. The giblet gravy I get from a cookbook I've had for over 30 years. In fact, got it for a wedding gift.

I added a story this morning to the reports I sent out that really brings some thought. I want to share it with you..... hopefully you will gain something from it as well.

You Make a Difference

A teacher in New York decided to honor each of her seniors in High school by telling them the difference they each made using a process developed by Helice Bridges of Del Mar, California. She called each student to the front of the class, one at a time. First she told them how they made a difference to her and the class. Then she presented each of them with a blue ribbon imprinted with gold letters which read, “Who I Am Makes a Difference.”

Afterwards the teacher decided to do a class project to see what kind of impact recognition would have on a community. She gave each of the students three more ribbons and instructed them to go out and spread this Acknowledgment ceremony. Then they were to follow up on the results, see who honored whom and report back to the class in about a week.

One of the boys in the class went to a junior executive in a nearby company and honored him for helping him with his career planning. He gave him a blue ribbon and put it on his shirt. Then he gave him two extra ribbons, and said, “We’re doing a class project on recognition, and we’d like you to go out, find somebody to honor, give them a blue ribbon, then give them the extra blue ribbon so they can acknowledge a third person to keep this acknowledgment ceremony going. Then please report back to me and tell me what happened.”

Later that day the junior executive went in to see his boss, who had been noted, by the way, as being kind of a grouchy fellow. He sat his boss down and he told him that he deeply admired him for being a creative genius. The boss seemed very surprised. The junior executive asked him if he would accept the gift of the blue ribbon and would he give him permission to put it on him. His surprised boss said, “Well, sure.” The junior executive took the blue ribbon and placed it right on his boss’s jacket above his heart. As he gave him the last extra ribbon, he said, “Would you do me a favor? Would you take this extra ribbon and pass it on by honoring somebody else? The young boy who first gave me the ribbons is doing a project in school and we want to keep this recognition ceremony going and find out how it affects people”.

That night the boss came home to his 14-year-old son and sat him down. He said, “The most incredible thing happened to me today I was in my office and one of the junior executives came in and told me he admired me and gave me a blue ribbon for being a creative genius. Imagine it, he thinks I’m a creative genius. Then he put this blue ribbon that says ‘Who I Am Makes A Difference’ on my jacket above my heart.
He gave me an extra ribbon and asked me to find somebody else to honor. As I was driving home tonight, I started thinking about whom I would honor with this ribbon and I thought about you. I want to honor you. My days are really hectic and when I come home I don’t pay a lot of attention to you. Sometimes I scream at you for not getting good enough grades in school, or for your bedroom being a mess, but somehow tonight, I just wanted to sit here and, well, just let you know that you do make a difference to me. Besides your mother, you are the most important person in my life. You’re a great kid and I love you!”

The startled boy started to sob and sob, and he couldn’t stop crying. His whole body shook. He looked up at his father and said through his tears, “I was planning on committing suicide tomorrow, Dad, because I didn’t think you loved me. Now I don’t need to!”

Written by: Unknown Author

Have a blessed Thanksgiving.

Blessings!

When was the last time you listened, I mean REALLY listened....

By that I mean eye contact, mind focused on what is being said. For some of us, it probably has been awhile. To listen to anyone.

I've been reading information on "listening" the past week or so and today there was a story that really hit home. Not for the "situation" but more for the listening.

If you show people how much you care and ask questions in a nonthreatening way, you'll be amazed by how much they'll tell you.

..........In our careers, we have done a lot of speaking. Between the two of us (John Maxwell and Jim Dornan), we speak to several hundred thousand people every year. Jim’s wife, Nancy, does a lot of speaking – and believe us, she is a great talker! But she is also a wonderful listener, and sometimes when she speaks, she talks about communication and the importance of listening. Not long ago she gave a talk about listening that emphasized giving other people the benefit of doubt and trying to see things from their point of view.

In the audience that day was a man named Rodney. Though he was happily married and had a young son, he had been previously married and had two daughters with his first wife. And he was having problems with her. She was constantly calling him and asking for more money for herself and the two girls. They argued continually, and she was driving him so nuts that he had already hired an attorney and was preparing to sue her.

But when Rodney heard Nancy speak about listening that day, he realized how insensitive he had been to his ex-wife, Charlotte. A couple of days later he called her and asked if they could meet. She was suspicious of Rodney and even asked her attorney to call him to find out what he was up to. But eventually, Rodney convinced them that he just wanted to talk, and finally, Charlotte agreed to see him.

They met at a coffee shop, and Rodney said, “Charlotte, I want to listen to you. Tell me what your life is like. I do care about you and the kids.”

“I didn’t think you cared about the girls at all,” she said as she began to cry.

“I do,” he said. “I’m sorry. I’ve only been thinking of myself, and I haven’t been thinking of you. Please forgive me.”

“Why are you doing this?” she asked.

“Because I want to make things right,” he answered. “I’ve been angry for so long that I couldn’t see straight. Now, tell me how things are going for you and the girls.”

For a while, Charlotte could only sob. But then she started telling him about her struggles as a single parent and how she was doing her best to bring up the girls, but that it didn’t seem like enough. They talked for hours, and as they did, the beginning of a new foundation of mutual respect formed. In time, they believe they will be able to become friends again.

Rodney is probably not alone. Can you think of people you haven’t been listening to lately? And what are you going to do about it? It’s never too late to become a good listener. It can change your life – and the lives of the people in your life.
--------------------------------

How many times have we been in a car with someone and they were talking - and our thoughts were elsewhere? How many times have we gone to a restaurant with a family member and instead pulled out our "smartphone" rather than talk with them?

Make it a point this weekend - whether at home or out somewhere - whomever you are with - talk to them - and take time to listen to what is going on in their lives.

You will be glad you did.

Blessings!

Hump Day thoughts.

I enjoy "hump day". No real reason why other than it is the middle of the work week and once this day is over - it's all "down hill" to the weekend. But I don't want to wish my life away either. I like the Geico commercials with the camel - especially the one of it going through the office yelling "Mike, Mike, Mike.... what day is it?" I smile every time I see it. Of course there are numerous pictures on the internet as well. As I sent out my reports this morning I had to add the one of the two 'donkeys' talking to each other. One is saying "Hey, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike.... guess what day it is....guess what day it is...." and the other responds "Bruce, you are NOT a camel. You're an ass. We discussed this." Cracks me up every time.

But today IS "hump day" however you choose to think of it. Other than the past couple years when all the jokes became prominent, I guess I didn't really think too much about it other than it being the middle of the week and once past it I only had two days left of work. I kind of enjoy the rhedoric about it.

What about you? How do you view Wednesday? Do you just not think about it and view it as another day? Sadly, that is what most people do. It is just another day in their life.

One thing I've determined, each and every day needs to be celebrated in some way. I don't care if you just take two minutes out for yourself in that day, celebrate being alive. Celebrate family, those things that mean something to you. Celebrate YOU.

You may think you aren't much to celebrate - but you are. You were created in the image of God. Yeah, I know, you have heard 'that story' before. But you were. And so am I. I may not always behave in the way I should, or say things I shouldn't, but that doesn't mean I wasn't created in His image. I was created to bring God glory - and so were you. We both were created to worship God. How do we worship Him? By the way we live. Are we honest? Are we caring? Do we treat others as we want to be treated? Do we care about others as much as we care about ourselves? These are things we do to worship God.

God has blessed us with another day - each one of you reading this - God has brought air into your lungs and opened your eyes this morning. Every morning when hubby and I pray together, we always thank God for the night's rest (even if it is a rough night) and for awakening us that morning. As much as I dislike getting up early, I'm grateful that I can get up. I'm thankful for my job. I'm thankful for my health. And I tell God so every day, 'thank You'.

Another big meeting today so it will be a busy day - but it's 'hump day' and will go quickly. Tomorrow we are having our 'Thanksgiving lunch' here at work. I'm bringing deviled eggs. It's still a lot of work, but much easier to transport than some things. I'm trying not to offer to bring so much as I have in the past. I don't need to furnish everything just because I love to cook. I can let others supply the rest. So deviled eggs it is for me to bring.

Hope that you have a great 'Hump Day' and get a lot accomplished. Two days to go until the weekend! Keep Smiling. ;-)

Blessings!

It's All Over....

The big wedding was a week ago, the reception was last Saturday. I think that all went well and now these things we can put behind us. The wedding came on a beautiful day in Sedona (today it is really cold there so glad it was a week ago!!) and most everything worked out well. Few minor problems but nothing to ruin the day. The reception was fun - dancing, food and just being with family. It was good.

It was so fun when the first slow song after the bride and groom danced that two of the grandchildren came immediately over to grandpa and I and asked us to dance. First time ever dancing with them so it was a lot of fun. A lot of dances I didn't know - and the music was way too loud, but it was still fun. I asked for the music to be turned down - but I could almost swear they turned it up. I should have been insistent. Why is it that DJs always feel the music must be at top volume? I hate the music when it is like that, and nearly always ask for it to be turned down. I feel that if you can't talk while the music is playing - then it is too loud. Just my opinion.

Now the holidays are quickly approaching and I realize that today is November 17th and Christmas is what - 5 weeks away? Since I do all the shopping and preparations for everyone, right now I feel overwhelmed. Partly due to lack of finances to purchase much, and partly because I have other things going on as well. Work, for one thing.

Which - I am only working 1/2 day today - hubby has cataract surgery at 11AM-ish so am only working until 10AM. This afternoon I plan to go out and get some groceries, and maybe look to see if I can't get one or two gifts. I have picked up a couple things, but not much. Working on two gifts now as well. Need to focus on getting those finished. I remember one year several years ago that I worked until 1AM Christmas morning to finish one gift for a grandchild. But I got it done! Last year I gave a "homemade" quilt to a son and his wife, and had to ask for it back for I didn't get it finish. But, I eventually did and was able to return it.

So that is my weekend and my day. I need to start getting my thoughts together and not share so much personal stuff I guess.

I'm looking outside my window and see pink streaks in the blue sky as the sun is starting to arise. It is a cold morning for sure (I put sweats on!) but looks like it will be a beautiful one. Time to dig my sweaters out of drawers and closets.

Take some time to see the beauty of the day outside - and feel the warmth of the love of God inside.

Blessings!

Lost train of thought....

For those that know me, know that it can happen fairly frequently for me. I really did have a good thought on Monday..... but with interruptions that morning, I got side-tracked and did not complete my thought. I'm not going to go through all that again, I will just say that I finally understand the reasons and what fors of doing the "formal" wedding last week and the reception this weekend. And it's ok.

The wedding reception is tomorrow and although it won't be your typical reception, it will be nice. They have a DJ and plan to have the mother-son (groom) dance, and also the daughter (bride)-father dance. My son guarantees me that I will cry - but won't tell me what the song is - last I heard it was 'You will always be my Baby by Tim McGraw' - but I'm not sure. Since I don't have to do anything except bring ice tea for the reception, I am able to dress up for this occasion. I have borrowed a long black dress from my daughter - yes, it is a larger size than I wear, but I will make it work. I probably ought to try it on tonight again to see if I need to run out and find something else. I love this outfit and I hope I don't end up wishing I had followed my son-in-law's advice and get it altered to fit me. I figured it was my daughter's dress, I shouldn't make changes to it as I plan to give it back to her - after our Christmas party next month. I'll see if I can pin it here and there to get by.

I was at a conference all day yesterday so got absolutely nothing done for the office. I am so far behind now that I am exhausted thinking about how far behind I am! Luckily my boss is at a board meeting this morning so will be in late - and I hopefully, can get focus on some things I need to get done - as long as others leave me alone. My boss doesn't bother me, but I do things when she is here to make sure she has everything she needs for meetings. I forgot she was going to the meeting - went and got her coffee this morning - guess that I will have another cup here rather than waste it.

God has been blessing us with beautiful weather lately - cool in the mornings and all. I wish I had an area out back (and the time) that I could just go outside and sit and enjoy the cooler weather. Sure, I could probably go out on weekends, but ....

Need to gather what thoughts I have and focus on my work this morning - take some time and thank God for all that He has given you. We take so much for granted - waking up each morning, breathing, our health.... not counting our families. A dear friend woke one morning this week to find that her adult son had died in his sleep. Memorial service is Sunday. I'm sure she would have loved to have had one more day with him.

Don't take each day for granted..... you never know when someone you know, someone you are close to, someone you love and care for, will breathe their last. Let them know what they mean to you. You will be glad you did.

Blessings!

Realization of things sometimes come too late.....

Saturday was the "wedding" of my youngest son and his bride. Actually the " " means that the wedding actually took place in May, but it happened again last Saturday at a grandeur level. Not that it was over the top or anything. It was nice, although there were some awkward moments, and mishaps, and uncertainty as to what to do. The DJ was unable to play the wedding march, so it was comical when the two flower girls starting humming the wedding march as the bride walked across the grass.

Yes, the bride walked across grass. The wedding was held in Sedona at the Cresent Moon Red Rock Crossing Park. Or something like that. It was truly a beautiful day - slight breeze, sunshine, leaves turning colors. Beautiful. The ceremony was across the parking lot in the middle of a grassy patch before heading into hiking trails. Yeah, there were a lot of hikers (being a public park we could not keep them out) that will appear in some photos, although we tried to wait in-between people walking through.

We are set up and in place for the wedding. The groom, best man, and I are at the front. In comes the matron of honor, the two flower girls. Finally, the bride is with her father getting ready to walk down the ... well, what should be an aisle but was just grass. Everyone is standing (only the "old" parents got chairs) and waiting for the ceremony to begin. No music.... until the flower girls start humming. Finally, the bride and her father are almost in front of us. Only they stop two feet to my right.

The wedding site person (they had to hire her to get the park for the wedding) - gasp!! - right as we started the ceremony, she walks up and tries to move the bride and her father over to where she wanted them to be. The groom shakes his head at her, meaning her to leave it be. I finish the opening, then asked them to move over a few feet in front. We continued through the ceremony, the groom seemingly making fun by doing his vowels in a 'drawl', causing the bride to laugh. But soon, the ceremony was over and we began the process of the photographer taking photos.

I felt fat that day and probably looked it. But then, it's isn't about me. The bride and groom looked both beautiful and handsome. Lots of photos were taken, then the couple headed to a location they wanted more photos taken, and the rest of us headed to the ramada to wait for them.

The cake, champagne, and cider was there waiting. We waited only a short time before the new couple arrived. I loved the photo I got of the two flower girls, and the three boys standing at the end of the sidewalk as the couple walk down towards the ramada.

The cake was cut, the toasts were given. I was blown away by the toast given by my granddaughter, the groom's daughter. I must admit I can't remember how old she is - all the grandchildren are growing up so fast - but I think around 10 - and she has a birthday this week. Anyway - she gave a toast that choked me up. It was a "paragraph", not a sentence or two. I can't even remember it all, and I wish I could. It was a beautiful, heartfelt toast from a daughter to her parents. wow. Afterwards I was so surprised that everyone said AMEN.

The DJ got the music playing and the bride danced with her son to 'You Are My Sunshine'. Then the groom danced with his daughter. I cried. Yep, I did. And I snapped many photos of this moment. The song was 'Daddy's little girl' by Tim McGraw, I think. I believe the groom sung the song to his daughter as they danced.

Overall, the wedding was beautiful.

Yesterday as I was thinking over how everything went, a realization came to me. The bride had been saying this was her 'dream' wedding.... yet none of us could understand since the 'original' wedding was in May. We kept thinking about the cost of all that was being spent - and how they really didn't have that kind of money to spend. We couldn't grasp what it was all about. Then it hit me.

The ceremony in May was for convenience of the insurance. It was nothing more to her than going to a JP to get married. This WAS her dream wedding - the fancy dress, the walk down the 'aisle', her father giving her away, the reception next week. She deserved it. She was entitled to it. And I feel bad that I didn't understand it. Perhaps if I had spent more time with her and really listened to her, I could have grasped what that meant. I wish I had been more involved in the wedding. I could have helped take stress off her. Yes, I did offer to help, but since I didn't know what her plans were, I had to leave it up to the bride and groom to tell me what I could do. I didn't hear anything so thought the bride's family was helping her. Little did I realize how little they did help. There was much I could have done to help relieve some of the stress.

But, it is all over now, and we are waiting for the reception on Saturday. My son tells me I will cry during the song he has chosen for us to dance to. Heck, I cry at everything so this won't be much different. Maybe. First time ever dancing with my son though.

It was a tiring but good, weekend. The wedding is over - and now back to work.

Blessings!

Listening - do we really do it?

I've been reading a lot lately about listening. Really listening. Interesting topic that I read on today. It was about listening when you have emotional baggage. It's more about how we let our own issues interfere with our listening.

I've been sitting here and wondering if - and how - I have let my own emotional pain affect how I listen to others. Do I? I hope not, but yet, I'm sure that I have. Just as I am sure you have. Sometimes our 'listening' is affected by our indifference to the situation. Or to the person.

Can you think of a time when someone was talking to you and all you could think at the time was "would you hurry up and spit it out so that I can leave this conversation?" I know I have, unfortunately. Sometimes we have even family members we would like to turn a deaf ear to, especially when it's all about them.

But when it is a topic we are interested in, or a person we enjoy listening to, we could sit for hours and talk and share and listen. The thought just occurred to me that many bartenders - and hairdressers are the people who we tend to share the most with. Since I don't go to bars, my poor hairdresser gets to listen to me whine, rejoice, complain, or just be funny. I usually tease him that he knows more about me than I know myself. But then, how much is he really listening to me? How many times is he so preoccupied with his own thoughts that he doesn't really hear me? Yes, that happens too. Since I've been going to him for about 15 years, we both know a lot about each other.

This is from a book I'm reading about carrying emotional weight when sharing with others.....
Nearly everyone has emotional filters that prevent him or her from hearing certain things that other people say. Your past experiences, both positive and negative, color the way you look at life and shape your expectations. And particularly strong experiences, such as traumas or incidents from childhood, can make you tend to react strongly whenever you perceive you are in a similar situation. As Mark Twain once said, “A cat who sits on a hot stove will never sit on a hot stove again. He’ll never sit on a cold stove either. From then on, that cat just won’t like stoves.”

If you’ve never worked through strong past emotional experiences, you may be filtering what others say through those experiences. If you’re preoccupied with certain topics, if a particular subject makes you defensive, or if you frequently project your point of view onto others, you may need to work through your issues before you can become an effective listener.

Sigmund Freud stated, “A man with a toothache cannot be in love,” meaning that the toothache doesn’t allow him to notice anything other than his pain. Similarly, anytime a person has an ax to grind, the words of others are drowned out by the sound of the grindstone.

So - I read that and I thought about how true it is. Especially about the 'man with a toothache cannot be in love' statement. When our pain is great, we aren't going to be truly listening.

And sometimes, we need to listen with the heart, versus with just our ears.

Hmmmmm..... I'm listening now with my ears and hear my boss just walk in so off I go! Hope you have a great day!

Blessings!