Uh oh I forgot!

 I honestly thought I had typed in here this morning!   I just now realized that I haven't!  I've been busy doing other things, I guess.  In fact, I stopped about 9AM and went and fixed breakfast - fried potatoes with eggs, jalapenos, onions mixed together and poured over the potatoes (a favorite) and then made a batch of brownies to take over to the neighbor's.  Which neighbor?  Well, it was for Ms. Diane's boys who are over working on her house again this morning.  They have been there nearly 6 days a week for hours working on it.  I took the brownies over this morning and told them that I was bribing them; I wanted to see what they were doing to it.  Actually, all they are doing is painting it. No tearing down walls or anything like that.  Just painting everything white.  I really do need to go see Ms. Diane today sometime - definitely by tomorrow.

I visited Ms. Vickie the other day and yesterday she was thanking me for the food I had taken over. In fact, I do need to go over again tonight.  We had dinner at Olive Garden last night and I bought a couple of the $6 meals you can take home.  I will take over one of them - spaghetti - so she can have it for dinner.  I have leftovers from my dinner that I will eat for lunch today.  We are meeting friends for dinner tonight at Top Shelf so won't need it tonight.  I don't like hanging on to food for more than a couple days.  I also ordered Ms. Vickie a page magnifier as she has difficulty with her eyes and she does want to read.  I took her a book yesterday but she said she can't read it. It's some disease of the eye that blocks out specific areas. She had to quit driving because of it.  But, I thought a page magnifier might help her to be able to read. She gets lonely and it will help her have something to do besides watching the TV. Which would drive me insane, as you know.

Finished typing up my message this morning and now need to print it off and review it again.  I told you I was a procrastinator!  But it is typed out and I just need to go through and make any corrections or changes.  I need to be sure to take my bible tomorrow too; we have communion this Sunday. Yeah - we are at the RV park.

The message is on John 6:1-13.  You've heard it before. Where the young lad presented all he had - 5 barley loaves and two fish - to Jesus to feed a crowd of more than 5K people.  Back then they only counted men - so you can imagine it could have been 10K or more with women and children!  Anyway - the basics of the message is that if we give God all we have - our talents, our time, our finances, whatever we have - He will take it and enlarge it and bless you in return.  So the question I will be throwing out to everyone is "will you give Jesus all that you have?"  Interesting question, do you think?

And with that, I need to jump off here and continue on - can't believe it is 12:30 and I just remembered!  I really thought I had typed in here.  I read my son's blog and usually I do this one next - but guess I got sidetracked.

But I need to get busy.  Maybe heat up my spaghetti leftover from last night and have it for lunch. Hubby can eat the fettuccini meal that I bought.  He always eats more than I do anyway!  But I might sneak a bite of it. :-)

Hope you have an amazing day - catch you later.  Tomorrow is early church so will see if I get in here to type .... who knows anymore!

Blessings~!

Listen, then act

Well, I started this off originally talking about Friday finally getting here - when we all know it takes the same amount of time to get here every week.  What I am actually saying, is that I don't have anything to talk about today.  At least not yet.  Haven't paused long enough to wonder, I am reckoning.  Hubby has left for his bible study and I have quiet for a little bit more time before I have to hit the ground 'running' (yeah, right) to get on the work computer and ready for work.  

The day will be broken up a bit in that I need to leave about 8:30AM and head over to get my blood drawn for my February 9th doctor's appointment.  I'm trusting all the tests will go well.  After all, I haven't eaten any chocolate or cookies or brownies (although I was really tempted to eat a brownie last night!) since January 3rd.  So, no protein shake or anything this morning before I go as I like to fast before I get my blood drawn, if possible.  And since I made it for 9:15AM - surely I can hold off.

I had my 'ARC Review' yesterday morning with Sue, my favorite boss.  She once again gave me an 'exceeds expectations' overall.  She has a way with words, because she has to justify why she says I exceed.  Of course I first have to complete a 'self-evaluation' of what all I did in 2025 (who keeps track?) so I just listed the three boards that I now support, how I help other EAs and AAs to get information, how I collaborate with others about how to complete tasks, etc.  Things I did to learn more about - i.e., still working on the powerpoint but I am learning how to create the slides and all that stuff.  She took my words and made them much more powerful.  All this to say that in April, I think it is, I will get a bit of a raise.  I have got to be hitting the top of my pay range soon, if I haven't already.  I've always had the mindset that whatever they pay me is a gift.  I accepted this job going on 9 years now, and only once was I refused a raise - and that was at a former job, probably 20 years or so ago.  Yes, that's right.  It wasn't that I wasn't doing my job or that I didn't exceed what I was doing.  The reason that director said she couldn't give me a raise?  I had been with the company for over 10 years and had gotten good raises.  The reason she gave me was that my salary (without a college degree) was in the range of the nurses and heaven forbid I should get paid as much as they do when they have degrees!  I just shrugged it off - God has always taken care of us.  And He did then too.  He has more than blessed me over the years with salary increases - which is why it is scary for hubby to say 'you can retire'.  And I get that.  But there is nothing we need and I believe that God will always take care of us.  And He has.

After my ARC review I had a prep for one of the board meetings.  Got that done and worked on the agenda afterwards to get it aligned.  Something else I learned in powerpoint yesterday and I'm pretty proud that I learned it. :-)  Anyway, finished that - and then at 12:30pm we had a board meeting from another group.  Had to take minutes at that one.  Need to get those typed up today and a new slide deck added for the next board meeting in April.  Since it's a ways out, not an urgent thing, for sure.  Have another board meeting next Thursday, which was the prep yesterday.  Then one more this quarter.  Those will require new slides and I'm not sure how to create those - but guess I can learn! 

Still, this afternoon should be fairly quiet and I will be able to get different things completed.  Need to finish up on the message for Sunday for the RV park.  Haven't gotten too far on it. Yeah, I'm a procrastinator - but I get it done!

Finally got over to visit Ms. Vicki last night for an hour.  She kept telling me over and over how much she appreciated my coming to visit as she gets so lonely.  I don't mind visiting; sometimes I take my crocheting with me.  But last night we just chatted for I knew I wasn't going to stay long.  She asked if we could go to lunch sometime.... and I said yes.  I don't mind she uses a walker.  I'm sure she wants to get out of her house occasionally.  And some day I will take her to lunch; probably on a Saturday when I don't have to rush around.

Still need to go see Ms. Diane in the group home.  I've been lazy and not wanting to go, but I should, bless her heart.  I know she gets lonely; she gets lonely when she lived across the street.  Her house ought to be about ready to put on the market.  Her boys (one is in construction; has his own business, I think she said) have been over there at least 5 days a week for the last month, painting and doing other things.  Looks like they may have replaced cabinets.  I'm not sure what all they've done and I'm very tempted to go over and ask to see.  That will give us 3 duplexes in just our one block that are up for sale.  The reason for two of them?  They don't like the HOA.  Well, neither do I!  I want to move too!!  Our yards in front are nothing but dirt.  UGH.  So glad hubby resigned last year and got out of it.  He 'disobeyed' me when we moved here and got into it.  I told him NO and he did it anyway.  Isn't that being disobedient?  LOL

What have you had a feeling about lately that you need to do - and it really isn't that you don't want to do it - but you don't want to do it? (yeah, that does make sense)  Sometimes what keeps us from doing what we feel we should do - other than just not wanting to - is that we are afraid that we might embarrass someone - or even ourselves.  I read a story in a book this morning about a young woman sitting in the airport and an elderly man was sitting near the gate in a wheel chair with long hair that was matted and dirty.  God told her to go brush his hair.  She didn't want to. And after having that discussion with God, she finally got up and asked to brush his hair.  He let her, and as she brushed his hair, he told her that he had been sick for a long time and had been away from his wife and he was now flying home to see her, and he had prayed that God would bring someone to help him not look so 'ugly' when he got to see his bride.  

And then I think about a conversation I had the other night with one of our bible group.  She said that at church on Sunday, she kept feeling that God was telling her to touch the shoulder of the lady in the row in front of her, and to pray for her.  But she held back (she said she had to actually sit on her hands, the urge was so great!) because she wasn't sure if the woman would be offended or embarrassed.  I gently told her that if God was urging her to pray for this woman, there would be no offense.  That woman probably needed a prayer to reassure her that God heard her prayers and saw her, and she would be encouraged.  Never let embarrassment or awkwardness get in the way of praying for someone - especially when God has placed them in your sight and is urging you to lay your hand upon their shoulder and pray!  It's like at One Nutrition the other day - I needed that young woman's prayer to calm me down after a stressful day.  She was brave enough to ask if she could pray for me.  

I can remember only one time when I asked to pray for someone and she refused me.  I remember how surprised I was of the refusal.  It was a boss, her name is Cheryl.  She was going through some 'stuff' and had shared it with me - and I asked her if I could pray with her - and she told me 'no'.  So - as I left her office and went back to my desk, I prayed for her anyway.  It was surprising to me.

We don't need fancy words to pray for someone.  We just need our hearts to be obedient to God and to pray.  The Holy Spirit will lead you with the words to say.  Many times I feel my words are awkward and jumbled and mixed up - only to hear someone say to me "that was exactly what I needed to hear'.  I've learned it doesn't take great words, it just takes a willing heart to surrender to the Holy Spirit and let Him lead.  Even YOU can pray.

I'm not sure what journey God has me on right now.  I can't even explain the emotions and feelings I have been going through the past several months - you may have figured it out if you have read here often.  I'm not perfect by any means.  I fail myself, and I fail God.  But He still loves me and welcomes me when I run back to Him.  I want to get closer to God, and sometimes I just don't know how to do that.  It isn't just reading my Bible, which I do nearly every day.  It isn't just by reading books about Him.  It's by living life and depending upon Him that I learn how to get close to Him.  I keep my eyes open to see where He is working, and then go to join Him there.

And you can too.  Be watchful.  When you feel the emotional 'high' to comfort someone, to say a kind word - do it.  If you feel a word of prayer is needed, do it.  And when you are obedient, you will feel His presence in a way you never thought possible.  Tell your child you love them, and watch their response.  If you haven't told them in a long time, they may be surprised.  But don't just tell them, show them by words of kindness, of encouragement.  And parents too, need encouragement.  Life is hard.  Everyone needs a prayer, a kind hand, a word of encouragement to get through this life. Who can you encourage this day?  Something to process, think about, and do.  

Make it today.

Blessings!

Running late....again!

 My body just can't decide WHEN it wants to wake up!  I did wake up at 2:20AM, I think it was, and one other time and I refused to look at the clock - and the next thing I knew - it was 5:33AM and hubby was getting up!  I jumped out of bed and headed in here to get some of my reading and journaling completed.  I am almost out of time this morning, but thought I'd do some rambling in here before moving on to the day.

Bible study went well last night.  I had lots of snacks (of course) and some was eaten, but I had to put a lot away.  No biggie. We will eat them.  The brownies though, I need to take over to Ms. Vicki and get rid of them.  But then, I think hubby is eating them too.  Me, not yet.  February 9th is when I get to eat my chocolate again. :-)  No regrets.   It was interesting last night when the subject of fasting came up.  Two people fasted two days - no food; just water - and that was it.   Another just decided to do a day a week and got some co-workers to do it with her.  That's great.  I want to get back to a day a week!  I can just never decide on WHAT day anymore, because we sometimes go out to eat with friends and it happens to fall on that day!  Maybe I just need to fast 6am to 6pm - for that is what the one day a week person is doing.  Or sundown to sunup - which is what others do. (in other words, no dinner or snacks at night, and I think do without breakfast?  UGH.  Fasting is not fun - but it is so beneficial to your walk with Jesus (when done with the right thoughts!) and beneficial to your body to give it a 'rest' and time to work through what you have already eaten.

As you know, I have fasted for years - and then I fall off the wagon.  I don't know why I stopped my fasting one day a week.  I need to re-evaluate myself and seek God to determine what He wants me to do.  I know that my heart's desire is to be His completely.  And I am willing to give up anything and everything to do that.  Life is hard, and I let distractions pull me away from my goals.  This is going to be something I will get back in to - I need to focus on my 'why' and surrender to it.  Sometimes prayer requests require not just prayer, but fasting to go with it.                                    

I had a very busy day at work yesterday.  It seemed like I had one meeting after another to schedule and with outside people and it was just crazy trying to pull everyone together.  Brett gave me the most, of course, but Sue and Kynda also threw in meetings for me to schedule.  I think I got them all done - but one - before I jumped off the work computer.  I needed to get to Sam's Club to pick up a veggie and a fruit tray.

As I walked into Sam's Club, no one was at customer service and in a conversation with my oldest son the other day, I mentioned that I would change hubby's name on my account and give his card to my son.  No biggie, right?  So I do a quick stop at customer service, tell them what I want to do.  I was thinking hubby had been listed as the primary, but the young lady looked after scanning my card, said that I was the primary.  Ok, I can change it (only the primary can).  So she deletes hubby's card and said for my son to just go in and ask for the card.  So I shoot off from there to get the trays.  I do scan and go - only, I had to re-register on my app.  Then it wanted my CVV of my credit card - and I don't carry that card.  So I thought I'd just go to the register and pay for it.  Well, they couldn't get my card to identify me - 'not found'.  So I had to go back to customer service.  Luckily the manager was now at the register and I explained my 'ordeal' with the young lady, the app not accepting me, the register not identifying me - and he took my card and swiped it.  I guess for all these years I've been carrying hubby's card - there isn't a photo on it; I just show the card at the door and use my scan and go - which is hooked to a bank account - and out the door I go.  The girl cancelled hubby's card and since that was the one I was using - I couldn't use it.

It took the manager less than 5 minutes to take care of me.  He made sure my son's name was added, and printed off a new card for me (and now that I'm a plus member, I have the blue card instead of the green one).  My son can just to go Sam's Club and ask for a card and they (should) will print it off since his name is on the account.  I hope it is that easy.  I usually don't go often, but maybe he will use it more.  He will find it is very easy to spend a lot of money there - things are in bulk and if you are only wanting 'one', you will need to go to the grocery to get that.  Otherwise you are buying two or more - and more cost.  Most days I walk out $200 a visit - and even more.  Which is why I don't go often.

After that ordeal, I decided to stop at One Nutrition and get a sugar free butterfinger shake.  I love those, and so does hubby.  So good, and tastes just like the butterfinger candy bar!  I only got one, thinking I could drink 1/2 and give hubby 1/2 and maybe 'we' won't gorge ourselves with the snacks.  You know what I'm talking about!  Anyway, the young lady there asked me how my day was going.  I off-handedly shared how crazy work had been, the ordeal at Sam's Club and the rushing around.  She asked me what I was doing in the evening.  I told her we were hosting a bible study at the house. She thought that was great!  She fixed my shake, and I realized Christian music was playing.  When she finished my shake and I had paid for it, she asked to pray for me - and I let her!  It was awesome!  She grabbed hold of my hands and prayed not a quick 'bless her' prayer - but spoke blessing and other things over me.  I felt myself just relax and wow - it was amazing.  

I love it when God places people in our lives, in our busyness, to give us pause and let our thoughts turn back to Him and not in the chaotic ways of the world.  Even though I was still rushing about to get home, to get ready in time (and I had plenty of time!) for people to arrive - God had me pause and be renewed in Him.  He reminded me He was in control of my time.  I had no need to stress or rush about; He was orchestrating my life, not me.  All time is His.  It was a freeing moment, for sure.

What would you do if someone stopped you and asked to pray for you?  My prayer is that you would say 'yes'.  So many people feel embarrassed or singled-out - but don't be that way!  Take that prayer, for it is exactly what you need for that moment in time - even though you think 'everything is fine'.  And it isn't just for you.  The person wanting to pray for you, is also receiving something from God for stepping out in faith to ask you to let them pray over you.  Let them. Don't take away their blessing because you are too embarrassed to let them pray over you.

Everyone needs prayer.  Even you.  Even me.

Blessings!

Why awake at 3:30AM?

 I have no clue... and I may never know.  Didn't feel any alarms, so perhaps my body was just telling me I had slept enough - although we hadn't gone to bed until about 9:30PM.  Usually we are in bed by 8:30PM as you know.....  yes, I've already started my rambling.  Surely I can come up with something to say soon, right?

My daughter came over here last night for our 'girls night out'.  Got her to watch one of 'my' chick flicks on Up Faith and Family.  No violence; no sex scenes, no indecency, no cuss words.  A great movie.  I think she enjoyed it - and I know I did.  She commented that this will be our last Tuesday night together for awhile.  Yeah.... I had thought of that, but wasn't going to bring it up.  Not going to do guilt trips.  I will miss our times together.  But at least we can still facetime or talk on the phone.  It isn't like it was when I moved away from my mama.  We only had mail and telephone.  I know she will be coming back for visits - we only made it back to see my mama a few times.  Having Tuesday nights alone won't be a 'bad' thing.... I can chill, crochet, work on my diamond art, bake, watch movies - anything while hubby is gone to his bible study.  Perhaps I will even find someone to do a bible study with each week and start it up on Tuesday nights.  That would be good for me.

I made a couple cheeseballs last night for our bible study group tonight - they are coming to our house. Yes, I will close the door to this room; things are piling up on the bed again.  I just need to stop and find a place to put things.  Maybe I will take a break from work today and do just that.  Speaking of work; yesterday wasn't that bad.  I was busy, to say the least, but it wasn't overbearing.  Didn't have time to chat with Sue, but she did send me a quick message and said she hoped I had a good time off.  I 'left her hanging' by letting her know that some future things were discussed while I was off.  LOL  We have an 8AM meeting tomorrow morning for our 'ARC Review' - which means we go over everything I've done in 2025.  She always gives me a great review - exceeds expectations - and I appreciate that.  I don't know what I did this time that could 'exceed expectations' - but she remembers things I don't.  She says she writes down things as she finds out about them.  Plus I get a lot of MVP notes and each one that is sent to me, she gets a copy of.  These come from people that I've helped or worked with.  I send some out at times as well.

Anyway - it's our turn to host the bible study group.  Got the cheeseballs and crackers.  I want to run over to Sam's Club and pick up a veggie tray for anyone who is fasting using the Daniel Fast.  Just a few snacks to munch on before or after.  I wish I dared ask hubby to go get - but he wouldn't have a clue what to do. Plus I love the scan and go at Sam's Club.  I scan the bar code when I put it in my cart - and when I'm ready to leave, just mark it 'check out' - and it goes against my card and I get to walk out the door without standing in line.  Love it - absolutely love it!  Wish it worked at Walmart as well, but alas, it does not.

I've been beating myself up about not exercising while Morgan is on maternity leave.  Not sure of the exact date she is coming back, but I'm thinking February 9.  I've got all kinds of excuses on why I didn't exercise - but lazy is a good one.  Hubby would be the second one. Right? LOL I just don't like exercising in front of him - although in all honesty, he doesn't watch me anymore.  I like being in my own little world when I'm here at home - and he likes to interrupt with questions or will decide he wants to work out as well.  I like my space.  Some of you will understand what I mean by that.  I need to just 'get over myself' - right?  I'm not hurting anyone but myself with not working out.  And Morgan will be hurting me a lot when we start back!  I figure I will continue my training until I can retire... then will let it go.  So in the meantime, I need to buckle down and work hard.  I need to keep my strength up for my age is starting to tell on me.

It was funny yesterday morning - I get a text from my daughter that they were on their way over.  I was thinking about the squeaking on the sofa I mentioned yesterday so thought she had read my blog.  They hadn't.  A piece of wood had fallen off the sofa when they brought it in the door last week and the SIL wanted to fix it and glue it back on.  But - while he was here - he also took care of the squeaking.  Grateful.  Hubby was already talking about getting a new sofa.  No - we are not going into debt for something that can be worked on.  The SIL sprayed WD-40 on the coils, and even a silicone spray, I think.  He got the squeaking to stop and that was what I wanted done.  And the wood piece fixed. I may need to learn how to do some things or start calling my boys when I need help.  Learning for myself wouldn't be a bad idea.

Matthew 15:10-11 (NLT):  Then Jesus called to the crowd to come and hear.  "Listen", He said, "and try to understand.  It's not what goes into your mouth that defiles you, you are defiled by the words that come out of your mouth."

Those are pretty clear words, do you think?  It's isn't 'stuff' we put in our mouths that make us a 'bad person'.... it's the words that come out of our mouth.  The words that say what is in our hearts and in our minds.  Those ugly words we think when we don't care about someone.  The slander that comes out when we want to 'get even' with them.  You know what I'm talking about.  When we want to destroy people instead of building them up.

We are called to encourage people with our words; not tear them down.  Not to criticize or demean them. Many times I am sure we all think 'there is nothing good I can say about them' - and you may be right.  But find something good.  Think about good things.  Don't cloud your mind with bad thoughts and words, but bring light and life to those around you.  In others words - WATCH YOUR WORDS.  Right?

And with that - I'm off here - another busy day in the land of Oz.   Do something kind for someone today.  Bless them with your words.

Blessings!

It was a very good day

 I didn't have to work yesterday, but that didn't make it a 'very good day'.  I didn't have an agenda for yesterday, other than doing a couple errands.  That didn't make it a 'very good day'.  So what made it a 'very good day'? 

Getting to have lunch with my oldest son and catch up on life with him.  Although I knew there was a possibility that we could have lunch, it was not confirmed.  I was standing in line at Cox to return equipment for a former neighbor when my phone rang.  It was my oldest son.  I had to get him to call me back, and as he was finished with his medical appointment, it was a 'let's do lunch' time.  He met me first at Big 5 Sporting Goods where hubby wanted me to take a look at the 'curl bars' there as I had put it on my Christmas list (not that I needed one, but needed something to write down).  So we looked at those, I took photos and we went to Black Bear Diner to grab something to eat.  

I'm thinking it was a little over two hours later before we finally left and headed our different ways.  I so much enjoyed our lunch together and just listening to what he wanted to share.  I shared a few things and well, I thanked God this morning for the blessing of the time I got to spend with my boy.  A treasured time, for sure.

I headed over to Burlington near us - a fairly new store in this area.  I liked the one by where we used to live, although it often looked chaotic with things everywhere - but this one... uh, don't think I will find my way back there.  Very disappointed in it's layout and in what was there.  The other one had everything - but this one seemed to have mainly clothes, and I was not impressed by what I saw.  I love to look at trinkets and other things - and again, I was just disappointed.  TJ Max was a store or two down, but I didn't want to go there. Haven't been impressed with them before either.  So I just headed on home.  Took a nap. Then went to grocery and picked up fried chicken for dinner and a few other things.  

I have thoroughly enjoyed my days off work (Friday and Monday) and resting, reading, and relaxing and doing whatever I wanted to do.  I tried to imagine what it would be like if I was retired... well, it would be partly like this, but not exactly.  It would probably take a few months to really feel like I was 'retired', right?  Other than no money coming in.  I talked with my son about that; I felt he thought we could make it.  Financially tight?  Yes.  But it can be done.  I've come up with a couple ideas on planning for 'my part' of the financial end... but will see if I follow through.  For sure, I need to quit doing mindless spending.  Once I get past working on our taxes and pulling my information together for it, I can have a better picture of what I can do.  

For one thing - and you know I'll love this part - I will be cooking more rather than us going out to eat like we do.  And I'm ok with that, for the most part.  We don't need three course meals.  Even a sandwich and a salad is enough.  

I love that my oldest son took it upon himself to create a dish yesterday in their new crockpot.  I didn't realize they didn't have one before.  Never thought of it.  Guess they got one for Christmas.  And here I have 4-5 crockpots that I could have let them have one!  I just didn't know.  But - he got creative and I love it.  I love using my crockpots and let it cook all day and not worry about dinner.  I go to the 'crockpot chicken chili' frequently because it is so easy to cook and let it set.  Also keeping chili warm - oh yeah.  Now I'm getting hungry!

I'm back to work today and I checked emails last night (after I had deleted many on Sunday), and it was up to 165.  I skimmed through and deleted a lot that I didn't have to do anything with.  Got it down to 50, I think it was.  But still, Brett has sent several emails with instructions for me to do something.  Some apply to the board meeting we have scheduled on Thursday.  I'm hoping that he isn't telling me to change the date.  That will be next to impossible to get everyone at this late date.

I will say that I desperately needed these days off work.  I was still operating on 'burnout' from the holidays, I think, and needed to just relax and play.  

Our 'new' sofa we bought recently.... has started squeaking.  The springs, that is.  I'm thinking that because it set in a screened porch for several months, the air has affected it. Now that it is indoors and the temperature is different, last night when I sat down it squealed.  I may have to see about tearing it apart and spraying the coils.  Unfortunately, and embarrassingly, we have our group over tomorrow night and I don't think I will have time to do it before then.  Still want to vacuum it as well - my new upholstery vacuum came in the other day and I have it charged now.  It didn't squeak until last night - so my theory is that the temperature change, and the fact it is now getting used daily, has attributed to it. Hubby is already talking about getting rid of it and buying a new one.  I don't want to do that; we got this one a week ago. It didn't squeak int he beginning, but does now.  Will figure it out.

I've been taking two tablespoons of cold-pressed olive oil before going to bed at night.  And when I've slept, it has been deep.  I wonder if that is part of it.  I wonder if my energy level is part of it. (I heard it could be).  I need to go back and google 'what are the benefits of taking olive oil'.  I've heard men at the gym talking to each other about taking olive oil at night to help cholesterol, lower blood pressure (mine was at 114//70 this morning!!) and clear out the blood vessels.  Hubby isn't 'on board' yet - and I will admit, you can't taste it going down like I thought you could (I remember the castor oil day), and it doesn't leave an aftertaste for I take it and let it go down without it staying in my mouth.  Will see how I feel in a week or so - if I can tell the difference.

And - I need to get off here and stop my rambling for today.  

God is good. All the time, God is good.  He is faithful, and loving, and kind, and forgiving.  All I am I owe to Him.  My future is in His hands.  And so is yours.  Think about that.  He knows your coming in and going out - before you even decide to do something.  God already knows the outcome.  Is it one that will help - or hinder - you?  Hmmmm.

Blessings!

A quiet day; a good day

 I didn't do any work yesterday.  We went to church at noon.  Stopped by a granddaughter's to drop something off to her, then hubby wanted to take me out to eat for lunch.  Fine - it was going on 2PM and he was hungry.  We went to a restaurant that we liked.  Hubby got his liver and onions; I got a salad with chicken on it.  After that we came home and I curled up on the couch and tried to read.  Of course by this time, it is going on 3:30PM or so (noticing that going to church later does take a chunk out of the middle of the day!  Not a big deal though.  I called my little sister and we caught up from the last couple of weeks where they were in Florida visiting his family.  I came back to the couch and again tried to read - text'd back and forth with my big brother (they got 11-12" of snow! and it was still coming down!) and in the middle of that conversation - I fell asleep.  When I woke up, hubby said I slept for about 30 minutes - and it was a deep sleep too!  

Afterwards, we watched a couple of movies and went to bed.  Me, wide awake since I had fallen asleep around 6PM.  Too late for naps.  I was still awake at midnight - and tossed and turned until hubby got up to go down the hall about 4:20AM and I got up and came in here.  Couldn't go back to sleep so started my reading. Hubby got up shortly after and brought my coffee in.  And now that my reading and prayers are over, here I am.  You needed to know all that, right?  I may need a nap later in the day.

Yes, I took today off too.  No, I did not get the area around this chair cleaned yesterday and may get on it this morning.  I need to run by Cox to drop of equipment for a former neighbor.  She never got it turned in before they moved out of state.  So, yeah, I'm doing the 'former neighbor' thing to get it returned.  At least I'm not on a timetable.  I'm thinking about heading that way between 9-10am - if I get my butt moving.  It's already after 7AM... and here I sit, still in my jammies.  As usual, I might add.  But then, I'm usually on the work computer.  I'm loving imagining what it would be like if I wasn't working..... 

Hubby has already started asking me where I was going shopping at today - I still have two gift cards from Christmas and he thinks they are burning a hole in my pocket.  Little does he know that one of them is from last Valentine's day - I just don't go shopping except on Amazon - and that takes Amazon gift cards, right?  But that's ok.  I'm enjoying getting out and looking at things.  For me, if I have money (aka gift cards) to spend, I can't find anything I'm willing to buy with them.  If I'm broke, and don't have money - I find all kinds of things that I 'have to have'.  Is it that way with you as well?

Anyway, thought I might 'hit' Burlington and Home Goods today - that should take up the rest of my gift cards.  And then some, I'm sure.  He wants me to buy clothes with it - but I don't need any clothes.  I need to lose ten pounds or more so that I can fit into the ones I already have!  Right?  Morgan is going to really hurt me when I go back in another week or so for training..... I haven't been in the gym since she left on maternity leave.  I've tried to do a few things here - but, well, just haven't done more than one or two exercises.  It's going to be a hurting time, for sure.  

My son mentioned in his blog yesterday he might be available for lunch today.  I'm thinking that I may be 'out' when he contacts me - so it will be easy to meet up - figuring around 11AM  -  but will see when he contacts me.

Our Bible study group will be meeting here on Wednesday evening and I need to figure out what snacks I'm going to have.  I plan to make my regular pineapple cheese ball, but I also want to make a dill pickle cheeseball.  It's pretty good.  My oldest son loves dill pickles... but he doesn't like cheese, and I don't think he would like a dill pickle cheeseball - but if I'm wrong, he can let me know and I'll make him one. :-) Cause that is just what mama's do.  Right?

It's close to the end of January and we are starting to pull tax information together. Sure wish our president could get the 'no tax for seniors' sent through.  It sure would be helpful for us.  I threw a stack of tax stuff into a plastic container the other day and set it aside when I cleaned off my work desk.  Now I need to printout my credit card statements and my bank statements and start going through them and identifying what is available as a deduction.  This is (NOT) a favorite time of year - for anyone, I think.

James 4:10 (NLT):  Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will lift you up in honor.

Have you ever wondered what that could possibly mean?  Think about it.  So many people are too proud to be sad, to mourn, over their sins.  They just shrug them off and move on, not being repentant, not being sad that they 'screwed up' once again.  But when we follow Jesus, He calls us to a whole new level of righteous living - and that begins with humility.  Being sorry for our sins.  Being humble enough to confess our sins and to turn - aka REPENT - away from them.  Sometimes we tend to repeat the sins, even though we repented and turned away from them for awhile.  Next thing we know, we have fallen sort of who we are trying to become once again.  I'm guilty of this, and I'm sure you are as well.  And once again, I have to confess my sin to Jesus and ask for His forgiveness - once again - and humble myself before Him and repent of my sin and determine how - with His help - that I can stay away from it and not sin again.  Sometimes it is easy - sometimes it is hard.  I think you realize that as well.  Be humble; confess your sins to Jesus and receive His forgiveness and help to change.

It feels so good not to really have an agenda for today.  Yes, I have a couple things I should/need to do... but it isn't pressing.  And hubby isn't pushing to go shopping with me (thank You, Jesus!) so he is letting my time be my time alone.  And I appreciate that.  I need this time alone to refresh myself and do things I enjoy doing - alone. Does that make sense?

And with that - I'm going to get off here and get dressed and figure out how I'm going to do my day.  Hope that you have an amazing day and rest in the promises of God.

Blessings!

I bet you thought I wasn't going to write today...

 Yes, it is later than usual - almost 9AM, in fact!  Because our church is growing so fast, and it is a small location, our pastors have asked for volunteers to attend the third service at 12PM as the first service (9AM) and the second service (10:30AM) are both in overflow - they are moving people out into the lobby!  So hubby and I discussed it last week and decided we will switch to the 12PM service - unless we have something going on - and then we can go to one of the earlier services.  We usually don't have anything in the afternoons on Sunday, so why not?  A nice relaxing morning at home.  And this, our first Sunday doing this - well, for one, we stayed up late last night and didn't wake up / get up until almost 6AM!  So my time in here has been extended  and I am enjoying it.  I'm on my second cup of coffee, drank my overnight oats so I've had my breakfast, and after my bible reading, my prayers, here I am.  And I'm loving not rushing to get up and get moving.

Yes, our 21 day fast is over as of midnight last night - BUT - I have decided to continue with my BBCD - no beef, no bread, no chocolate, and no desserts.  It's not as easy as it sounds.  February 9th is the last day of the corporate fast called by our pastors, to pray for our church to find a new location as we need a bigger 'home'.  Hubby has opted to stop all fasting as of midnight last night.  He has done very well with it, as far as I know.  The closest I have gotten to 'fail' is the other night at Denny's - the salad had croutons (I ate one) and bacon (I forgot to tell them leave it off) and I just mixed it up.  Still haven't eaten the rest of the salad; still in the refrigerator. May be something I split with hubby today.  So yes, I am back to drinking coffee today - although I may drink hot tea the rest of the day.  

Hubby and I had an interesting conversation yesterday morning as we ate breakfast.  We talked about my retirement.  He asked me 'why do you want to retire?'  To me, that is a stupid question, but let's move on from there.  I began to tell him what his refusal of letting me retire has done to our relationship.  How things he has done in the past has destroyed our relationship.  How I am nearly 77 years old and have been working since I was 15 1/2 and I'm tired.  Not saying that I wouldn't find a part time job if needed, but I still believe we can make it.  I will be the big loser - I would be relinquishing the majority of my SS check, when he now allows me to keep all of it - but I would be giving to him what my checks are going into the bank for the joint account.  I will have to cut back a lot of my spending, and what troubles me the most, I won't be able to tithe like I can now.  I won't be able to donate like I can now.  I gave him all my reasons and told him I already had a date in mind - but will wait to see if that is the time to actually retire.  (It is in the latter part of the year)  In the meantime, I suggested we start 'squirreling' away any extra monies so that we would have for emergencies.  I know we can do it; it's just convincing him that he won't be left 'hurting' without extra money.  In fact, I reminded him that if he got rid of his car - or it was paid off (about $1k left on the balance) he would have that money to save.

He listened to me - I think.  He interrupted a few times, and I reminded him that he said he wouldn't comment until I was finished.  He 'listened to me' - but I don't know how much he actually heard, if you know what I mean.  I really expected some comments back when I brought up him breaking his vows to me by refusing to work and taking care of us.  He has left me to be his sugar mama, as I have been since we were married.  And I resent it. And I told him so.  He has always wanted 'control' and it has destroyed us.  I'm not sure how much soaked in but at the very end he said....  "If you want to retire, and you think we can make it, you can retire."  Words I have wanted to hear for years (and am now scared to death that I will make the wrong decision!)  

But, time will tell, and I am praying and asking God to direct my path, to bless the decision as to when I am to retire.  It may not be this year; it may be any time.  I'm waiting on God to let me know 'when'.  In the meantime, I'm going to go through my bank statements and truly record where I am spending money and where I can cut back.  I've already cancelled two subscriptions that I had coming in. 

So - what would I do if I retired?  I would definitely work on cleaning out this house!  Little by little I am getting some things taken care of.  Friday, I cleaned out 3 cabinets about the washer and dryer.  Yesterday I cleaned off my work desk. YES I DID!  THAT took awhile and I have a trash can full of papers to throw away.  Yes, some I stuck in the drawers for 'another day to look at' - but I really got it cleaned off and you can see the top of it.  Pretty proud of myself!  But, today, I want to clean the area around this chair and clean out my bookcase.  I have books stacked everywhere around it.  One day at a time, and one thing at a time.  And it feels good when it is all done and cleaned up.  I'm actually 'excited' about getting it done!  But I also want to get involved with things at our church.  I want to have a bible study here in our home during the day when the seniors can get out of their homes easier.  Most don't like to drive at night (me included) and during the day it would be perfect.  

Philippians 4:8 (NLT):  And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.

Does God want to give me my heart's desire?  Absolutely.  But I want it in His timing, not mine.  I want to be available for whatever He has planned for my future, but it is in His timing.  What He has planned for me may not be 'now', but in the future.  I must not rush to 'get my own way' - but wait on Him.  Sometimes that is hard, and I guarantee you, it won't be easy.  But I go in His timing, and I know that in doing so, we will be ok.  He is our Provision, our Jehovah Jireh - The Lord will Provide.  I believe that.  I've lived with nothing before, and survived.  I can give it all up, that I may have more of Him, and serve Him with all I have.

Interesting news, do you think?  In time, I will quit thinking about it, but for now, I'm savoring the thought that I can have a future without work.  If someone wins the lottery (cause I don't play) and wants to buy me a new house and give it to us free and clear - I'll let them! That would definitely be a sign I could quit - right?  LOL

And with that - I'm getting off here and going to chill for a little bit before getting ready for church.  I'm loving this extra time.  Next Sunday back at the RV park at 9AM but for this Sunday - it's going to be a beautiful day.

Blessings!

It was a very good day

 Yesterday was a little cool (for me) but it was a beautiful day.  I got my daughter and SIL to the airport and found my way out of the endless circle around the airport.  Yes, I was watching my GPS and praying all the way!  Found my way home, and of course hubby was already gone to his bible study.  The house was quiet.  I loved it.  

I decided to clean out the cabinets about the washer/dryer.  I got rid of 'things' and moved 'things' around and it looks much nicer now.  Laid out a bunch of 'supplements' that hubby had bought and stuck a note on them to look at and throw away what he wasn't using.  I decided it was time for me to leave... I knew hubby would be home within the hour.  Oh- back up to earlier int he morning!

The bees!  They were everywhere again yesterday morning!  The side of the flower pot was covered.  I got a call about 8AM from the Bee company I had called and asked if they could come out then - I said yes.  They arrived about 20 minutes later.  Two men got in their bee suits and came in with what looked like a wet vac.  He proceed to suck the bees into it until he got all the were on the side.  There were several still flying around and he said they would come back to the pot and look for the queen bee, but not finding her, they would eventually leave.  If the bees come back within 60 days, they will remove at no cost.  Oh, yeah, that threw me off!  And it is my fault.  I did not ask the cost.  When they were finished, I asked how much - and he says 295.  I stared at him.  "You mean as in $295?" I asked.  Yes.  Wow.  I told him that was unexpected; but it was my fault for not asking.  And I paid it.  At least the bees are gone.  Calling them again?  No.  I don't care how nice they are.  They will get removed another way.  The bee company said they do take the bees to a bee farm (probably sell them!) up in Lake Pleasant and they let them go free there.  So what they do is just transplant them from a location they shouldn't be - to a place they can be.  

After that I did clean the 3 cabinets out - and then decided to get out the door.  I went to Ross and spent some time there.  Didn't buy much, but a few things.  Came home.  Decided to leave again and went to Hobby Lobby.  Found two pictures to hang on the wall to replace where the Santa pictures were last month.  Got a few other things and came back home.  By then I was really hungry as I hadn't eaten but one egg that morning.  Took hubby to Denny's.  Still fasting, it was very hard to find something to eat there.  But I decided I wanted nachos - but how?  Our 'hostess' came up with a solution.  No meat, lots of cheese, and added avocados.  Oh yeah - it was so good.  I also ordered a cobb salad for me and hubby got pancakes.  Focused on the nachos which hit the spot, I brought the salad home to be eaten sometime this weekend.  I tell you what - Denny's must have gotten larger bowls for the salad.  I have never gotten a salad so big!  It was huge!

Once home we watched a movie and then eventually headed to bed.  But you know what?  It felt so good not to be sitting in front of the computer; to be out by myself doing the 'stroll' through the stores. I had gift cards from Christmas and only ended up using one, so I still have two $50 gift cards to use (oh darn, right?) so told hubby I think I need to hit Burlington and see what they have.  Haven't been there in years.  And then there is Home Goods.  And Sams Club. and I'm sure I can think of a few more places to go to.  There isn't anything we NEED, or anything I NEED, but sometimes it just feels good to walk and think about how would I use that item.  I told hubby I was off on Monday, but didn't elaborate on it, so I don't know that it has soaked in.  He will be home so I'm hoping I can still get out of here alone. 

So here it is Saturday and we're home.  I look about this room and think, yeah, I need to work in here today.  I don't like crowds and those who work are at the stores on the weekend.  So I may as well stay home and clean this room, right?  I'm actually feeling pretty good this morning (of course I'm still in my room) so maybe I can get this room straightened up.  I hope I can.  I don't think hubby has anything planned for today.  But I also need to go to the grocery some time today.

I know I do need to work on a message for next Sunday at the RV park.  In fact, my lay leader called me last night for the title and scripture and I told her that she isn't to call me until Sunday!  LOL  One time they called me two weeks ahead.  I haven't made mu mind up until Sunday before!  They just want the title and scripture to put in the bulletin and I know they meet on Tuesday.  She can wait until Sunday or Monday to get it.  But I do need to figure out what I'm doing.

Our 21 day fast is over at midnight tonight.  Our church corporate fast started later and is not over until February 9th.  Hubby has decided that 3 weeks - 21 days - without meat, without bread, without sweets, is long enough.  He is not continuing the fast with the church.  Me, I have decided to continue to fast 'something' to be united with the church.  It can't hurt me, right?  And I'm not losing weight even though I gave up meat, breads, sweets, and coffee.  (Yes, I even gave up coffee!)  I'm drinking my tea.  And I have plenty of tea bags so have plenty to taste1  So what will I continue with giving up?  I think I will switch to my BBCD - no beef, no bread, no chocolate, no desserts.  Which means I can go back to my coffee if I want, and can fix chicken or fish for me, as I will for hubby.  The no bread is still a big deal for me, as is no chocolate.  I still have at least one bar of snickers in the freezer; I haven't touched the bag for the past 20 days so don't remember if there is just one or more in there.  But I know I have frozen snickers!  Hubby's bag of paydays has been driving him 'nuts' - lol  pun intended - he did get into them before the fast - but hasn't touched them since.  That's probably what he's really waiting for! HAH!  I have them out of sight in the drawer in the laundry room refrigerator. Guess where he will go once he chooses to end his fast?  Unless he continues to give up sweets.

Fasting isn't easy, never has been, never will be.  Why?  Because fasting is giving up something you enjoy for something far greater - closeness to Jesus.  I still haven't spent as much time as I would like with Jesus during this fast, and I need to re-evaluate how I need to change.  I need to purposely spend time with him besides the time I spend here in the mornings.  Jesus never said 'IF you fast"....  He said "WHEN you fast...".  We are called to fast.  And people fast for different reasons.  Some fast to lose weight.  Some fast to make themselves 'look good'.  But when your heart is in your fast and your eyes are on Jesus - that is a true fast and you will find your reward with Him.  That's the fast I want; that is the fast I try to do.  Trust me, I have NOT lost weight giving up meat and bread and chocolates and desserts and coffee and whatever else.  It's not just giving up things, it is keeping our eyes on Jesus.  Where has been your focus lately?

And with that - I'm off here.  Want to do some more reading before I have to go fix breakfast for hubby.  It's Saturday morning and I usually cook him breakfast.  No pancake today as he had them yesterday. But will probably fix my potato egg dish - he loves that.  And I do too.  Have an amazing day!

Blessings!

I took the day off...

 I have so much stuff going on that I am trying to get done and well, just have so much I want to get done and getting overwhelmed with the inability to do all of it when I want to.... so I took the day off work.  I told hubby.  I just said I needed to not stress at trying to get things done and do one thing at a time.  Little does he realize that much of what I want to do - I want to do without him looking over my shoulder and 'helping' - or rather, 'offering' to help.  Sigh.  Plus, my daughter asked if I would drive them to the airport this morning.... and I haven't been in the airport area for over ten years, I'd guess.  I'm directionally challenged so I don't like going places I am not familiar with.  But I said yes.  And I will have to keep this short so that I can get dressed and get out the door in about 30 minutes to head over to their house.  Glad they get to go see their granddaughter 'christened' in California.  

We had a surprise yesterday - I step outside to pick up a delivered box - and bees were everywhere!  I stood there, looking around, trying to see where they were coming from - and finally saw them on the side of a pot full of dirt next to the gate.  I called a bee keeper to come get them - but they got stuck in traffic and we moved it to 9AM this morning - if they are still there.  While I was talking to him - all the bees took off - but then came back and started landing on that pot again.  I wonder if they are there this morning.  Not going to be able to tell until I get back from the airport.  It's too dark out - which is why we had to move to this morning - it was starting to get dark and they were stuck in traffic. Can't see all the bees in the dark.

Hubby has his bible study this morning then going to visit our friend after.  I may still have a few hours alone if he does.  I may leave the house once I see that he is on his way back home just so I can have some 'me' time.  I hear Michaels is having a big yarn sale.  But I am staying away.  I have more yarn than I can use in a year - my daughter gave me her yarn stash as she was packing to move.  Yep, got plenty of yarn!

And, I need to stop, get dressed, brush my teeth (heck with makeup) and get out the door.  I may brush my hair too. :-)  

So - short it is - but maybe I will have something to share in the morning.  I haven't told hubby, yet - but I took Monday off too.  I really want to get started - and finish - some tasks I have been putting off forever.

Enjoy your day - praying through mine!

Blessings!

Pondering the what if...

 If you read my blog yesterday after I wrote my addendum, then you know what I am pondering.  If you didn't, you may want to go to the bottom of the post and read it.  God works in mysterious ways, for sure.  Yesterday I kept going through the calendar and tried to see where I could 'set' a date.  I've actually got three dates in mind.... February 27th - which is what I put on my calendar some time ago and happened to run across it.  November 6th (or November 20th) - the end of a pay period, just before the holidays, and I won't be stressing and rushing to get all my baking, etc. completed, but can relax and enjoy the holidays.  Or even January 1 (although it's a holiday) - may need to make it the following Monday, January 4th so that I can get paid for it.  But then, does that one day matter?  So many dates; so many thoughts.  I can't tell you the heaviness that lifted from me when hubby came and said 'let's talk about it".  We have never gotten this far before.  

If your spouse came to you and wanted to talk about retirement - how would you deal with it?  Hubby hasn't responded well, as you know.  And it has caused me a lot of pain and grief.  And many tears.  He always made me feel that I was his sugar momma - as I have been for years - and I couldn't retire cause he wanted to have his 'freedom' to do whatever (he still could, just rein in spending).  A lot of things would need to change.  I've given that a lot of thought as well, and am writing down things that we would need to stop, cancel, or revise.

My shopping would be reined in, for sure.  I love to give, and if I hear there is a need, I want to help.  That's who I am.  But I would have to change that somewhat, as God leads me.  Stop and pray about it before I just give, you know?  The gym and training we would have to stop.  It's not like we wouldn't be able to work out at all - we have to pay $500 a year for the rec center that we never go to.  The disadvantage of living in an 55+ community - that and the stupid HOA.  And I won't go there.   I have a few things that I will need to cancel - like my overnight oats, my LMNT, and there was one other thing, but I don't remember now, but they came to mind yesterday when I was thinking about it.  I'm willing to do that. In fact, I may do it anyway and start 'squirreling away' any extra monies.  So many thoughts run through my head, and I need to write them down for when hubby and I talk about them.

What I am happy about, is not so much he 'may' say ok to the retirement, but he is willing to talk about it instead of just spouting off and walking away.  He has hurt me so deeply because he refused to go back to work when I asked him to nearly 20 years ago - and yet, he demands I keep working.  It's made me angry, and angry people are hurting people, right.  Ok - that brings you update to date thus far.  Stay tuned for the weekend update.

Obviously my thoughts have been centered on the above yesterday after he came in and made that request.  Yesterday was also my daughter's 57th birthday. When did she get so old?  We went over to her house last night to celebrate with her.  The SIL made it home from New Mexico by 6PM and was there to celebrate as well.  The granddaughter had picked up Mexican food from Valle Luna and that was dinner.  They do have great food - and give you a lot!  I couldn't eat all mine, as some of the others couldn't either.  We didn't stay long, but came home and relaxed a bit before my exhaustion hit and I said I was going to bed.

Sleep was interesting (again) last night.  I woke up at 1:15AM and was covered in sweat.  Threw back the covers to cool the body off.  I'm thinking we need to remove one of the quilts off the bed (there are two).  May see about that today.  Hubby said he also woke during the night sweating.  He said instead of setting the the temperature for the evening at 73 and cooling, he had left it on heat.  Could that be why we both woke up sweating?  I would rather wake up chilly and grab a blanket to throw over me.  AND go back to sleep.  Couldn't go back to sleep deep, but know I slept some - until I heard a dog bark and I could swear it was in our front room!  This is the second time it has happened between 2-3 in the morning!  Yes, I want to get a dog - and yesterday I actually went online to the shelter and looked at some.  Hubby is still saying 'no' to that as well, and I get it.  If we want to go somewhere we would need to have someone watch it.  But I want to get one for various reasons.  

One, I love dogs.  I've never had a cat - ever - but I love my daughter's cats and one, Chloe, will come and love on me.  Lily - well, she will let you start petting her, then she will swat at you!  She doesn't have much to do with anyone, let alone me. I got fed up with her swatting at me a couple weeks ago and hissed back at her!  She pretty much stays away from me now - and I her!  LOL  Anyway - I saw one I really liked, but pictures don't do them justice and I want to go physically look.  My reasons for wanting one?  If someone is in our courtyard or on the back porch we will have an 'alert' that something is going on.  If something happens to hubby, I will have a dog already established here and wouldn't have to start from the beginning in training.  Same for hubby, should something happen to me. Or should I say 'when'.  We all know at some point one of us will pass away.  Yes, I'm being 'morbid' again, as one grandson says.  Eventually I will wear hubby down.  We don't need a big dog like Sheeba - I miss her so much! - but I would like a medium dog like Marley, our black Labrador.  She was really 'my' dog.... and stayed close to me most of the time.  Easy to train too, much more than Sheeba was!

What would I do if I retired?  So many thoughts run through my mind.  I would like to start a bible study here at home - I would have time to actually study deeper on it!  I would like to volunteer at the church during the week.  I would like to volunteer at other places.  And, if I needed to, I'd like to get a part time job to where I could be around people.  My choice of hours, of course. LOL  But wouldn't it be fun to be able to do things that bring me enjoyment instead of sitting at the desk all day?  Doing things that I really do not enjoy doing?  If I was in the office around people, it would be totally different.  I love being around people and sharing life with them.  It would actually make my job a lot easier if I was near my bosses in person and I could ask questions and get things resolved much faster. I wouldn't have the frustration that I have now.  But then, there is that drive.... so a part time job here in 'my town' would be much easier to manage, and would give me spending money, right?  Even at my age, I am confident I could get a job - especially at entry level.  I can flip burgers if I have to!  

Matthew 7:7-8 (NLT):  Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for.  Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you.  For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.

There is truth in that scripture, you think?  How long have I been asking; seeking, knocking - hoping to hear an answer of 'yes' from hubby.  Not that I have it yet, but I'm working on it.  And I'm not saying it was in my own power or in his guilt that he asked to meet to talk about it.  It was all God.  I was also asking Him that WHEN I should retire, that He provide that answer (I'm still asking Him that question!), and I keep knocking on that door, that I can get a response, and finally, God opened the door that hubby would agree to at least discuss it.  I'm so grateful to God that He listens to me, He hears me, and He responds when the timing is where it should be.     

Keep asking God for what you desire; keep seeking His hand in all that you do; keep knocking on the door of heaven, that your requests will be heard.  One day, you will see God's hand upon your life.  Relationships restored, painful memories healed, finances restored, and a joy that is unending will cover you.  Trust in Jesus.  Surrender to His will.  Let go of all you hold on to.  Let Him lead you.  No matter what your circumstances are, when you relinquish control (of which you have none, by the way) and give it to Him, you will finally see a way through it all.  And the peace that passes all understanding, will envelop you.

Blessings!

The answer is still 'no'.... AND an Addendum!!

 It's a long, tiring, and painful story.... but bottom line, hubby will still not agree to my retiring.  I brought it up again yesterday.  He doesn't know (because I don't want him to know) that it will 'hurt' me more financially than it would him.  I have money coming from my check that he doesn't know about and that is why I can have a savings account, and why I can buy gifts and do any trips and all that fun stuff.  I would have to re-evaluate everything I do if I quit work.  But you know what?  There is nothing we NEED... he is just so insecure .... plus he saw how much I made last year when I gave him the W-2 I got from work.  And from Social Security.  When I talked to him about my retirement - his comment was "do you know that not many women make as much money as you do!"  Like that is an honor?  I can guarantee you I can think of my DILove who makes more money than I do!  And that's only one!  So I'm back to praying again that God will give me patience and wisdom.  There has to be a reason I need to keep working - perhaps it is just to keep my sanity and be somewhat 'sharper' than I would be under hubby's thumb.  He has to have me where he knows where I am.... and some of you know exactly what I'm talking about.  Everything with him is we have have to be in it 'together' - unless it is something he wants to do.  UGH - don't let me go there.  I'm hurt, and I'm angry - and I need to let it go.

And my favorite boss, Sue, is retiring July 31st, and I guarantee you, she makes a lot more money than I do!  But they were smart with their money.  And I will leave that there.  I get angry every time I think about something..... and I have to forgive and let it go - and forgive again, and again, and again.  Ironically, I understand my sister's pain completely that her hubby (and her shopping) used up all her quarter of a million dollars 401K within 5 years of her retirement and now they live from SS check to SS check.  I get it, and I understand her pain and anger.  But we still need to forgive and move on.  God will always provide what we need.  Some of you may be in that same boat. 

It's been a nice peaceful morning.  God and I have had a lot of conversation this morning, mainly my asking Him to bring peace to my heart.  There is so much I want to do, but am limited.  I don't like being 'told' I need to do this or that.... I want to getaway... but I can never be alone when I do. I need to move on to other subjects.  This one wears me down - and you as well since I seem to harp on it at times.

Wednesday. Hump Day.  Remember the commercial of the camel walking through the office?  "It's HUMP day!  I love that commercial and think it is hilarious.

I'm sure I looked at the calendar yesterday before I signed off, but I don't remember what is on today's calendar.  I screwed up yesterday.  Dr. E called me at 10AM... and as soon as I saw his name pop up on my phone, I knew I had done it again.  I had a 9:30 appointment.  He's my chiropractor. And I didn't have it on my work calendar and totally forgot.  I hadn't looked on our calendar in the kitchen.  UGH. I hate it when I do that.  We rescheduled for Thursday and I made sure it is on my work calendar, my personal calendar, and the calendar in the kitchen on the wall.  Surprised that hubby didn't remind me; he usually tracks everything I do.  Yes, I'm being sarcastic.

I was reading today about loving others - even those we don't like.  That's hard, you know?  As I read, someone came to mind that is very hard to love.  It's hard to even think anything good about this person. I've tried, I really have, to love and be kind.  I can be kind, but love them, that's the hard part.  Forgive them for things they have done?  That's even harder.  But Jesus says we must.  Why?

Because if we don't forgive this person - God won't forgive us.  And if God doesn't forgive us, we won't go to heaven.  No matter how good we are.  No matter how much we serve Him. No matter how kind and generous we are to other people.  We are called to forgive, just as we want Jesus to forgive us.  And that is hard.  Harder still is to love them.

How hard is it for others to love us?  I know people have difficulty with me, and with hubby.  But I like to think they still love me.  I don't know that they don't 'love' hubby, I think it is more they resent him. And I can understand that. I do too - most of the time, in fact, if I really want to be honest.  I love him, but I don't always like him.  And yet, we are called to do both.

I watched The War Room again last night.  I came home early from my daughter's for I wanted to be alone - hubby was at his bible study.  I always feel inspired to pray after I watch that movie.  I want to pray more.  I want to seek God more.  I so want to run away and just 'be' with Him.  Alone. 

And with that - it's 7AM already and I haven't even turned on the work computer yet - see what I mean? It always interrupts me!  It ruins my entire morning just because I need to stop reading, stop typing, stop whatever I am doing - and get on the work computer.  That's why I enjoy Saturday and Sunday mornings! I don't have to turn it on.

Anyway - got to get off here and get online.  Hope that you have a marvelous day - hope my ramblings - well not all of them - don't disturb you - but that some will bring you pause.

Blessings!

ADDENDUM:  I just went into the kitchen to get more tea, and hubby came in and asked what I had on the calendar for Saturday (nothing).  He wants us to sit down and go over everything - our finances, plans, etc. - and talk about RETIREMENT.  Hallelujah!  I couldn't get him THIS far before!  (now I'm scared!)  So I need to think through my pros - and cons of why I want to retire.  He said that after my comment back to him of him making me work so he can enjoy his 'comfortable lifestyle' really got to him and he has been praying about it all night and again this morning (he actually started crying!).  I'm not saying it will be easy making the change of a good income to that being gone, but I am willing in order to be able to live life.   After all, I will be 77 this year.  One of the changes would definitely be stop training.   Not sure we can afford that anymore.  But, we should know enough we can do it on our own.  Anyway - stay tuned - Saturday will be here before we know it. Got a lot of praying to do - is this what God wants me to do - push to be able to retire?  What will I do AFTER I retire.....

Did I really complain about sleeping yesterday morning?

 I went to bed at my usual time last night - and was awake at 1:38AM this morning.  After tossing and turning until around 3:30AM or so, I finally gave up and got up.  I'm sure I dozed some in between those two hours - but seriously, sleep felt like it eluded me.  I came in here, hoping to sleep in my chair, but alas, that was fruitless as well.  I may need to sneak in a nap later this afternoon.  I have no clue as to what is messing with my sleep.  The only caffeine I've been getting is from my tea in the mornings.

Taking a tablespoon of olive oil daily is something I'm not really interested in, but I have been intrigued with two couples we know.  Actually, three couples.  They are 'our' age range - either above or just below. No, wait, I am the youngest of all of them! LOL Anyway - the couple we played 'spades' with (that was fun!) last weekend was telling us about it.  A certain kind of olive oil - she sent me a photo and a note, but I haven't read it yet.  I guess two of the men (one has had cancer two-three times now) were a bit unstable walking and tired, and foggy (you know what I mean - just like I am every morning) - and some doctor (Dr. Gundy? LOL) told them to take two tablespoons of olive oil - cold pressed, I think it is - and it will change things.  Surprisingly, it has!  The one with the previous bouts of cancer is out taking long walks every day, feeling energetic (I think he is in his upper 80's) and moving about more than he has in years!  Should I/we try it?  The thought of pouring oil down my throat does not appeal to me.

But it does remind me of when I was pregnant with my first child.... I was past the due date.  Brother in law was coming home from college.  We all wanted the baby to arrive.  Mother in law talked me into taking castor oil in a glass of orange juice.  HAH!  The only thing it did was clean me out!  It took me YEARS before I could drink orange juice again without feeling the oil sliding down my throat.  YECK!

Work was really busy yesterday and one of the doctors who does a presentation during our board meetings gave me a task that I had no clue what she was talking about.  I finally asked for help - and I think I got a response after I signed off.  Will see this morning.  I don't support this doctor, but it is 'my' board meeting so she is making me create this slide for her.  My 'don't want to' keeps getting in the way of 'you have to'. Sigh. I wanna retire.  Or at least set a date to retire.

I've discovered the past two days that I am starting to feel my age.  What do I mean by that?  I haven't been working out since Morgan took maternity leave.  It will be hard to get back in sync when she returns in a couple weeks - plus she plans to put us each 3 x week as we had bought extra sessions before she took off.  My body has gotten lazy and even though I've done a few things here at home, I haven't pushed myself at all - and I'm flabby.  Sad, isn't it.  I felt so much better when I was working out; so much stronger and ready to do anything.  Now I feel tired all the time and lazy. I've got to find time to make myself do things.  I can only use my broken toe (I thought it was two toes that broke, but I got my summary this morning and the one toe is broken in two places.) as an excuse.  It is still swollen, painful and I have to be careful, but I can use weights and do low impact.  Just need to get my lazy butt moving.

James 1:2-3 (ESV):  Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.

Be joyful when I'm going through things I don't want to go through?  Count it to be joyful when my heart is in angst over family illness and relationships?  Be happy and joyful when I struggle to be myself?  And yet, that is what James, the brother of Jesus, is telling us to do.  Be joyful.

But sometimes I LIKE being frustrated.  I LIKE being angry.  I LIKE being... well, whatever.  Ok, maybe LIKE isn't the right word.  I just don't 'like' people telling me I need to be happy and to 'get over it'.  But James says our trials should cause us to be joyful.  Why?  Because through those trials and problems we go through, whether it is our own personal sickness, another's illness, relationships, children..... no matter what it is, we can be joyful because Jesus lives within us and He will always walk with us through whatever trial we are going through.

I know He does.  Many, many times I have cried out to Jesus to help us in various things.  Things I would never share with anyone - at least until after the fact.  I know I've shared on here at times that years ago our finances were zero.  We had nothing and I was the only one working.  I felt so alone that I was forced to go through that - and it was all of my own making.  But I cried out to God about our situation and in going through my bible, I found another scripture in Philippians that morning that brought soothing joy to my heart, for I knew that God had heard my cries to Him for help; He had seen my tears.  Things didn't get better right away, but I knew I was heard.  And many times, I think that is just all we want.  We want to be heard.

I'm sure some of you are going through some very difficult times right now, or have been, or will be.  Life is hard.  Keeping our eyes on Jesus during these times is hard.  I know; I've been there.  My life has never been easy and some days it is harder than others.  And I'm sure yours is as well.  No matter what the issues is - finances, illness, relationships - they hurt everyone whether they are involved or not.  But I want you to remember this........

Philippians 4:6-7 (NLT):  Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything.  Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done.  Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything that we can understand.  His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

That is the verse that I found that morning when I was in so much anguish.  And you know what, the scripture was right!  I chose then not to worry about the problem, but thanked God that I could bring that problem to Him and leave it in His hands.  I thanked Him for what He was going to do to help me - one way or another.  His peace that your receive after giving whatever it is that is troubling you to Him, His peace will settle over you and you will feel so much better.  Trust me on this.  I have frequently experienced His peace when I let go of my worry, my fears, my whatever.  

Give it all to Jesus; He is the only One who can rescue you from yourself; and set your feet on His solid ground.  Give it some thought - you will be glad you did.

Blessings!

Running late again....

 I don't know what was wrong with me this morning, I just could not stay awake.  I read my bible, started my prayers, and out I went.  I woke up and tried to do something else.... and fell asleep again. I finally gave up as it was time to get ready for work.  We were in bed by 9PM at the latest; I took a nap yesterday - I don't know other than I was warm and cozy in my chair and sleepy.  So - figure I better get started and get something in here or you would think I died or something.

The weekend was quiet.  I am beating myself up this morning.  I forgot a sweet great granddaughter's first birthday yesterday!  Her mom sent me a photo last night and it still didn't register.  This morning she sent me four more photos (or it could have been last night; after we went to bed) - and then it hit me.  I ran to my calendar and sure enough!  It was her first birthday!  She should get her package this afternoon, but I totally forgot about it.  Bad Oma!  I've got to check my calendar every day - not just during the week!

This morning for work has been totally busy.  More busy than I want to be for a Monday morning.  Had a board meeting prep, and Brett has 'made' me take the reins on it, getting the agenda set up with the leaders who present.  It's tough when I'm not that familiar with PowerPoint (and it is my goal to learn more about it this year), but I manage to get my way through.  Well, most of it anyway.  I'm stuck on the * aka bullet point for the PowerPoint slide presentations - On this one, I just can't get the * to change into a bullet point and when I select bullet point and try to get it to insert; it ignores me.  UGH.  I still have a few days to work on it - so put it aside.  Yes, I procrastinate on things I don't want to do.

Did I tell you that last week I was looking ahead in 2026 and came across something I had put on my calendar for February 27th?  I had written 'Retirement date'.  I think I must have been dreaming when I put that on that date; what in the world could I have been thinking?  Working allows me to shop all I want to - and keeps me in my office all day.  Retirement makes me 24x7 around hubby.  Which is the better?  I'm not going to answer that one!  LOL  I'd also be baking and doing things and living life some... which I certainly can't do now, even with working!

Brett is driving me crazy this morning, ANOTHER email telling me to do something!  I know he has a week off in March... shall I start the countdown now?   I don't want this year to go by as fast as last year - Sue retires July 31st.  It is going to be hard ... but I will survive.  We meet for lunch this Friday.  Usually it is breakfast, but we are going to try Spinato's this time for lunch.  

I need to go visit Ms. Diane tonight.  Hubby is starting to nag at me to go visit.  He needs to mind his own business, right?  Yes, I know I need to go visit Ms. Diane.  He pushed for me to go yesterday, but I declined in hopes her children went to visit her.  I'll go to see her tonight....maybe.  It's not that far away, but I do have to get in my car and drive - about 12 minutes worth. And if she is sitting on the couch, because she cannot walk anymore (they never tried to help her walk; she's in a group home and it's easier for them to just pick her up and move her from her room to the couch to the table and back to the couch).  And the last time I visited, someone was on the couch with her and it's awkward to talk (not that we have anything to talk about) while someone is sitting there. 

My daughter's birthday is Wednesday.  When did she get so old?  I'm still young - right?  I have a gift for her that I held back from Christmas.  At least I don't have to go shopping now.   

Oh - that reminds me - our sofa shopping.  I told hubby no on the blue sofa and recliner we had looked at.  I just wasn't willing to pay that amount out.  So - I talked to him about a sofa our daughter was selling - and we went to look at it after church.  He liked it (he hasn't realized it doesn't recline, which is ok for me, I'll get an ottoman) so we bought it from my daughter.  When the SIL gets back in town, he will bring it over for us - and hopefully - if I can make arrangements with a grandson, he is taking the sofa we currently have.  Nothing wrong with it (and it reclines on both ends!) but I remembered he didn't have one so asked if he wanted it.  He does.  I'm hoping we can make it happen this week.  At least he is on the first floor!  I'm hoping I can help carry as hubby certainly can't.  Perhaps the SIL will bring one of his workers with him.

Lots of ramblings to catch you up this morning.  And I have meetings coming at me left and right.  Need to jump off and get busy.  Hey - at least I paused and wrote something!

Blessings!

 

It was a minor thing

but I did get started on my closet yesterday.  I say 'started', because I only skimmed through my clothes and pulled out my Christmas stuff to put out in the garage, and about a dozen shirts to take to my daughter to see if she wants any.  She took about but about 4, I think.  Told her to put those in the yard sale.  I debated on bringing back home and hanging up - but if I wasn't wearing them before and took them off the hangers to take to her, it's a safe bet that I wouldn't wear them anyway - right?  So I did clean out the closet very little, and got my shoes put together.  Sigh. I'm afraid that with my broken toes, by the time I can handle wearing my heels again, I won't be able to.  It may be safer that I don't wear heels at my age, but I do feel I look better wearing them.  It's just a me-thing.

Today is Sunday and yes, we are planning on going to church.  This will be the third message in the series of H3 Holy Habits.  First one was prayer, the second one was fasting, and I'm trying to think what the third holy habit could be - and I'm wondering if it is reading the Word.  Or maybe having a quiet time daily.  Yeah, that might be it.  Stay tuned.  I'll try to remember to share in the morning what it is.  

As of right now, hubby does not want to continue the fast past our 21 days and join in with the church.  I do want to continue, and I'm wanting to change up my fast some; just not sure what I would change.  I've done well with no coffee, no bread (but I do eat crackers and tortillas), no sweets (and it's hard, knowing I have frozen snickers in the freezer door), and no meat - which isn't a big deal with me.  I think hubby is missing his bacon on Friday mornings. LOL  Or his chicken or steaks.  I can cook it for him and not eat it - I have before, and may do again. He will fuss, but it is his decision, not mine.  I want to join in with our church when we complete our fast, which next Sunday it is 'over' and hubby can have whatever he wants.  I want to continue, so will either continue what I am doing, or change back to perhaps my BBCD - no beef, no bread, no chocolate, no desserts.  

Our next doctor appointment is February 9th so it will be interesting what our blood work shows with dropping meat and bread and sweets (especially) during this time.  Which reminds me, I need to schedule my blood work by the end of the month so that he will get it in time for my appointment.  Hubby will go down to Dr. Mark's office to get his labs drawn.  Dr. Mark sends to LabCorp; my insurance only pays for Sonora Quest as they have a contract with them.  Which is why I have to go to Sonora Quest to get my blood drawn. No biggie. There are several close by.

Not much on the agenda today.  Hubby will remind me a few times it is a day of rest - which relieves him of feeling guilty if I do something. LOL I do what I want to do.  But I also do rest and generally take a nap sometime during the day.  I got started on one of my Christmas diamond art projects yesterday - I want to get the Christmas ones done first and framed so that I can put them up next year. There is a method to my madness. 

Don't have much time to write this morning as I need to stop and get ready for church.  Making myself beautiful takes time, you know.  Will probably need to wear my flats this morning.  I don't think hurting myself wearing heels is the right thing to do. DUH.

Had my Overnight Oats this morning  -  so good.  Along with my tea.  

And now - I'm just going to tell you to have a great day - cause I do need to get up and get moving!  Maybe I will have something fun to share tomorrow morning.

Blessings!

I'm loving my Saturday morning

 Here it is 9AM and I am still in my jammies, and still in 'my room', not ready yet to venture out into the real world.  Although I'm sure hubby is chomping at the bits for me to come out and he will either offer to take me to breakfast, or he will be ready for me to cook breakfast.  Guess what. I'll cook breakfast  -  the usual potatoes with eggs, jalapenos, onions, peppers, that he likes.   Although he may stick his head in the door soon and see if I'm awake or have fallen back to sleep - which has happened, I must say.

I had a somewhat slow afternoon yesterday and was able to get some things straightened up in here.  I took the blue quilted bedspread and shams that were in here on this bed, and put on the bed in our bedroom. It fits fine, and hubby is happy.  Isn't that what counts?  I looked at buying yet another bedspread set, but decided not to.  So, needed something in here to cover the bed.  Looked on Amazon, thinking maybe a pink quilt... finally I went out to the garage and grabbed a big package I had stored out there - and in it was one of the bedspreads my mama had crochet'd for me.  They both are beige, and in the popcorn patter, and this one is in yarn.  The other is in thread and is smaller.  I put it on this bed, and you know what, it looks just fine.  I don't need to buy another one.  I did notice though in all of this moving quilts around and remaking beds, the quilts that are on the bed for comfort need to be washed.  Can't remember the last time they were washed because I don't do the laundry.  Will tell hubby 'next time' he washes the sheets, the quilts get washed as well.  So I'm past the issue of the bedspreads and don't have to worry about it - except I have the beautiful beige with pink flowers bedspread I had on our bed previously that hubby didn't like because it was a bit big even for our king-size bed.  Will see if any of the kids want it - first come first serve.  If not, it may go in the daughter's yard sale.  Unless I decide to pack it up and store for another change in reasoning. 

On my second cup of tea this morning - this one is 'peak energy' as I figure I need some energy to get me going today.  I don't want to just sit and read; I don't want to just sit and crochet - but I will sit and work on my diamond art projects - I received several for Christmas!  I want to start on the Christmas ones first so that I can hang them up next year.   I do love Christmas and love to decorate.

I've got some ideas too on how to clear out some stuff in this room, but will have to do it when hubby isn't home, and will have to clear out where I want things to go first.  It may take awhile.  Friday mornings are about the only time I have to do anything - and yet, I'm working.  In another month I will have my Tuesday nights back so could do it then as well.  In fact, that will work well.  I still want to take all our books and put them in alphabetical order by author.  Hubby keeps fighting me on it, and I'm not sure why.  But I am going to keep commenting about it.  We have several duplicates of books and I can sell those back to Thriftbooks or Amazon, depending on where i got them, or we can give those away.  I just keep buying books.  If hubby wants a specific book, he will actually have me get it for him - (of course) and won't even look to see where he can get it.  I ought to help him set up a thriftbooks account and put it with his checking account so that he can go in and find and buy his own books - right?

Son-in-law text'd this morning he is heading out to New Mexico with a load of their boxes in advance of their move there next month.  I have mixed emotions, as you know.  Hubby cries when he thinks about it.  Seriously.  We both will miss them, especially my daughter.  We've done a lot of things together and my Tuesday nights with 'my girl' will go by the wayside for awhile.  And that's ok - not grieving or complaining about it.  I have much I want to get done.  I have friends that are single (widow) and it would be good for me to have dinner with them and get them out of the house (my friend Melonie).  Can't believe I haven't seen her since before Christmas.  I think he is coming back on Tuesday or Wednesday.  They will be back down there by February 1st for a week, back here to finish up packing, and by the middle of February, will be gone.

Daughter is still home to finish up packing.  She is getting around pretty good even with her walker.  I will go over Tuesday night and see what else I can do to help her pack.  She plans to have a yard sale around January 31st to get rid of as much as she can.  Not sure what they will do with the rest.  Most of what she is getting rid of is only to save with taking it with them.  It breaks my heart for some of the furniture I would love - but I don't have room here in this place.  

Speaking of furniture, I did talk to hubby yesterday and although his concern is our furniture being mis-matched, I told him right now I am saying 'no' to buying a new sofa, etc.  I may still look, and if I find one that I really like, I will think about getting it.  I am trying to save some money in case we have to make any trips back to Indiana.  Some of my family members are not yet out of the woods with their health, and hubby's one brother and sister in law are not doing well either.  He is healthier than either of them, as I am more healthy than any of my siblings.  Must be because I moved to Arizona years ago and have sunshine all the time - right?

Had dinner with our friends from the RV park last night and had so much fun playing Spades afterwards here at the house.  We sure do love this couple and have so much fun hanging out with them.  They both are very active and although they are older than me, they are younger than hubby (not quite 80).  They are playing games, golfing, bowling, and all those things nearly every day.  Even in retirement I don't expect to be that active!  I just want to be a homebody and do what I want to do without someone telling me what to do!  Good luck with that, huh!

Ok - I need to get off here and go fix breakfast and keep motivated to get something good done today.  It's going to be beautiful out today - I can back out my car and work on the cabinets as well.  Wouldn't that be a treat. Some boxes I haven't opened since we moved in here.  So - with that thought, I need to start in my closet and clear out things that I haven't used in years, haven't worn in years, and just shut my mind to what I know I won't use.  I would love to give it away to someone who needs or wants things - but, alas, we all have too much 'stuff'.  I tell my friends, I'm not a hoarder, but I keep things in case someone needs it. LOL  Some I am going to take over to my daughter to put in her yard sale. I don't even care about the $ - I just need to let it go, and if she can get $ for it - at least someone does and not Goodwill.  Right?

May the Lord bless you and keep you, may He turn His face towards you, and give you peace.

Blessings!

Not sure if my answer is yes or no

 I wish I had thought of this a couple months earlier when Ms. Diane's children were selling her things in an estate sale.  Daggone it, sure wish I had thought of it.  But I did not.  Hubby and I went out to eat last night and decided to visit Bob's Discount Furniture and just see what they had.  We walked around and found a nice blue sofa and recliner that we both seemed to like.  Found out what the total cost would be and we left.  I didn't want to just buy it without thinking about it.  Came home and text'd a grandson who I heard did not have a sofa, and asked him if he would be interested in the one we have now.  Nothing is wrong with it, we are just thinking about a new one.  I haven't heard back yet - and that wasn't unexpected. It may be a few days before I hear back - if at all.  Afterall, he does need to talk with his spousal equivalent and also determine if they have room for one.  I've only been to his apartment once, and I am afraid they may not have room, but then, they may.

But back to the purchase that has not been completed, I'm starting to flip-flop.  For one thing, we don't NEED a new sofa and recliner.  Hubby just wants a matching set.  (Pride?) We will be having our bible study here on occasion and he's embarrassed our furniture is mis-matched compared to the two houses that were very nice and had matching furniture.  Not a reason to buy new furniture though, right?  I'm not embarrassed, but I do like matching things, if you know me well, you know that is true.  At this very moment in time, unless the grandson wants the sofa (and I would be happy to give it to him plus an end table or two), I am thinking I may change my mind about the 'new stuff'.  I don't know, I just am not 'excited' about getting new furniture. Does that even make sense?  We have never had really nice furniture; it has always been a bit of this and of that.  What I mean by that is it is always something cheap and simple.  And it works, for awhile.  The couch we have now is one that was left by a client at a house the son-in-law worked on to flip.  The one we had, that I paid a lot of money for, had already started the 'butt dip' but other than that, nothing was wrong with it.  This one is fine, scratchy at times, but it is fine.  I will make hubby mad, I'm sure, when I say not now.  But I think we can find something nicer and less expensive than this one is - even at a discount store!  I might look at consignment shops and see what they have.

Another reason I am hesitating is that I was awake most of the night praying about if we should purchase it or not, and I don't find the peace I want to find in getting it.  Between that prayer and praying for my son, anyway.  I was awake most of the night.

Moving on to another subject - the podiatrist.  I saw Dr. Lemon yesterday and they took an x-ray of my toes.  Yeah, I broke not just one, but two of my toes!  I explained I knew they couldn't 'do' anything for them, but with the redness and the burning pain, plus the movement of the muscle a few days after, I wanted it checked.  He showed me the x-ray of the two broken toes, agreed nothing could be done but wait it out.  The burning sensation was part of the healing.  Put ice on it to reduce any swelling and that would help with the burning, keep the foot elevated.  (Yeah, right, that isn't going to happen).  So I left there with not really any more information than I went in with.  I got home, taped my toes back together and went back to work.  I've stubbed/broken my toes many times over the years; but never had the tendon/muscle vibrate in my foot before nor have the burning sensation.  I guess I'm 'good'.  

Hubby has gone to his bible study this morning.  Yes, he drove.  Friday mornings are just not a good time for me to take off work and right now, I just don't want to deal with it. I just pray over the car and him and leave it alone.  He does let me drive most every other time we go out.

Even though I'm working (and covering for another admin), I'm hoping to get a few things done while hubby is out of house.  During the night I was rearranging this room, imagining myself going through my closet and cleaning it out (and that is still not a bad idea; it's hard to do with hubby home and I'm half-dressed, trying on things.  I don't want his opinion on what I should keep or not unless I ask for it. Right?  I remember telling you one time that I had asked him about getting rid of something I had given him years ago but he never used or wore it and he refused. When I asked 'why?' he said it was because I gave it to him.  What?  Seriously?  But then, I have things that my children or grandchildren have given me and I find it very hard to let go of.  So I'm just as guilty.  But, I need to move past that.  A t-shirt I got twenty years ago I do not need to keep just because it was given to me by someone I dearly love.  Right?  Now other things I would have to reconsider that statement.  I do love my gifts from my family. I still have a birthstone necklace that I probably have not worn in over 30 years that my oldest son gave me as a birthday gift.  It's a sentimental thing.  I see it, and I think of him.  I have paintings that I did with my daughter and granddaughter; I see those and I think of them and the fun we had doing them.  I look at t-shirts my granddaughter has made me for Christmas over the years and I love each one and will wear them occasionally.  Never getting rid of those.  I have t-shirts my youngest son brought back from Iraq and gave to me.  Yep. Still have those as well.  Have the t-shirt from 9-11-01.   They can dispose of them when they put this place in an 'estate sale'. LOL

Psalm 118:24 (ESV):  This is the day that the Lord has made; Let us rejoice and be glad in it.

Yeah, I'm rejoicing it is FRIDAY!  Ok - it's after 7AM and I need to get on work stuff.  Brett is out of town on a business trip and Sue isn't too busy today - I only have one meeting I need to attend at 1PM.  It might be a day I can get work things and home things done.  Home things first, though, while hubby is gone.  As much as I can, anyway.  I wish he wouldn't fight me so much on changing things around. Oh well. That's my life.

Have an amazing day!  Praise God for the many blessings He gives you - especially the one that you woke up this morning breathing!

Blessings!