I actually finished two....

 Hubby left the TV off for most of the day yesterday - and I started and finished The Holy Wild by Mark Buchanan.  Hubby did end up putting on his headset and watched the baseball game towards the end.  After I finished that book, I moved to the couch (from the chair) and finished up God Chasers by Tommy Tenney.  I got more out of the God Chasers book then I did The Holy Wild. I mean, they both are great books, but because I read another book that Mark Buchanan had written and gotten so much out of it, I wasn't quite that impressed with The Holy Wild.  But then, someone else may get a lot out of it; I just didn't.  But I was able to close out two books on Goodreads which took me up to 31 out of 50, I think it was.  Somehow I'm two books ahead of 'schedule'?  Or something like that.  I hope I keep reading, I enjoy it a lot, but sometimes it just isn't possible.

I fixed dinner last night and of course hubby wanted to watch movies.  So we did. Two of them. But I had control of the remote so chose.  Both we had seen before.  Hubby had already slept through most of the afternoon ballgame, and I couldn't believe he fell asleep during the 2nd movie - of which he said was boring.  Ok - it's a chick flick; of course there are some that he finds boring.  I liked it.  I really couldn't believe that with all the time he slept in the afternoon - he slept all night long!  I don't know why I just couldn't stay asleep.  One of Forrest Frank's songs kept running through my mind - and this morning I can't even remember which one it was!  I don't know his songs well, but I like the catchy tunes.  I know I have dozed a couple times in here this morning, and that's ok.  It's Sunday and we don't go to church until noon.

I have several things I need/want to do today.  I didn't make it to Sam's Club because I chose to read instead.  But today, I probably should go over, plus I need to make scones for Tuesday. I may be able to make them tomorrow, but I'm afraid that if I push it off to tomorrow, something will happen and they won't get made.  I also want to run down to my granddaughter's and see her babies.  Somewhere in all that I need to feed hubby.  

Have you noticed how expensive it is going out to eat anymore?  Then add in a tip - and then I don't want to go out to eat. Not that I want to hoard any money, but I'll do fast food anytime (and even that adds up) and get by.... but hubby likes his 'meals'.  I think he is just 'old school'.  Right?  Wants sit-down meals instead of fast food.

This may be short today.... I'm sitting here and can't think of anything to write about.   I got a couple books in from Thriftbooks yesterday that I haven't read yet.  I may start one of them in the next day or two.  Once Sue's retirement party is over, perhaps. Right now I need to make sure I have done my part - I'm supplying all the plates, napkins, silverware, and cups..... I did buy about 50 from Amazon a couple weeks ago..... but I don't think I like them, which is why I want to go to Sam's Club and choose some. Then return these if they aren't needed.  Sue is pretty popular so am not sure how many people will arrive within that two hour timeframe we are having her 'party'.  I would not be surprised if there were 100 or more.  But still, I'm concerned more we may run out of food, for we don't have a count. I'm not organizing it; I'm just helping with it.  So does that mean 'it's not my problem'?

Hebrews 11:1 (NKJV):  Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

I sorta like how this is described:  For the unbeliever, "Seeing is believing."  For the believer, "Believing is seeing."   Faithful men and women show their faith in bold acts of trust in the Lord. Only by faith can we please God.  Faith helps us to understand the universe in a way that science cannot, giving particular insight into God as it's Creator and Designer.  There are so many men and women who made it into the 'Hall of Faith'.  Even Abel.  You remember him, right?  Cain was the older brother and he grabbed some of his garden to give to the Lord.  Abel, though, he brought the firstborn of the sheep and the fat portions.  Which do you remember that God loved?  Ah, yes, He loved Abel's gift because it was the first fruit of his flock.  But Cain, he just grabbed some crops and basically said, "here, God".  God rejected Cain's offering.... and you know the story.... in jealousy, Cain killed Abel one day.... and then Cain was sent away.

What are we bringing to God?  Will He accept our offering?  That's one reason why I (try) get up early in the mornings to spend time with God.  I want to give Him the first fruit of my day.   That's why I fast at the first of each year.  I want to give God the first fruit of my year.  To Him belongs everything I have.  Surely I can part with some of it.  And yes, I give him the first fruit of my paycheck too.  It all belongs to Him anyway.  He can take it away, or He can bless me with more.  I work for Him, not for the company.  (Yet, He hasn't told me to retire yet! Maybe He has a use for me yet.).  All we have belongs to Him.  I am just a steward of what I have.  Even my children are on loan from Him. 

So are you a 'seeing is believing' type of person - or 'believing is seeing'?  I have faith that God can do whatever He chooses to do, in His timeframe. Sometimes it is something I've prayed for. Sometimes it is something I haven't.  But I know that God is over all sickness, all health, all monies, all provisions.  Sometimes we don't have, don't get what we want, because we don't ask Him.

Do we know what we want?  Are we asking God for it - providing it is in His will?  Something to think about.

And, with that, I'm off here and in the shower.  Have an amazing Sunday.  Do something kind for someone.  Praise God.  Give Him all the glory that is due Him.  Be grateful.  

Blessings!

The long awaited day.....

 I took today off.  Why?  Because I have a doctor's appointment, as does hubby.  His is for his yearly physical, mine is to review my levothyroxine dosage.  More on me later.  But yes, hubby is getting his yearly physical and will be declared 'healthy', as he always is.  I just wish his mind was.  Truth be told, we both have been taking something for the past few months that is to help with the mind; I don't feel it has helped me.... but maybe I'm looking at it wrong and it has. But I know it hasn't helped hubby in the way I wanted it to help him.  But what does he declare?  "Oh I can really tell a difference!  I am thinking much more clearly!"  But isn't that what most people say when they know people are noticing behavior that is not normal?  Sigh.  But his BP is always good - like 107/70. Well, why not? He has no worries. (I say that sarcastically)

My appointment is to check my thyroid med.  Been on it probably 40 years and the dosage has barely gone up. Except my previous doctor had raised it.  Dr. Mark thinks it is too high and had me adjust my pills, i.e., breaking one in half and taking a 1/2 dosage 2 days a week.  Last check it had lowered and he felt I could go back to a .88 dosage.  Only this time, I checked SQL first and I am back in the red again on the results.  It could be blamed on other things, I suppose, and I will have to confess some un-prescribed stuff I've been doing to him, but don't know what effect that would have on my thyroid.  Regardless, since I have my physical with him in September, he may have me continue what I'm doing (1/2 pill two days and a whole one the remaining 5 days) and retest in before I come back in September. Oh well, dreading my visit because of one thing... but he is my doctor and needs to know all I'm doing, right?  And MY BP seems to be going up and I don't want to take BP meds!  I like just having three prescriptions - levothyroxine, simvastatin, and Fosamax. I hate the Fosamax but think I have yet another year on it. Not sure what he will take me to next.  I googled once and my cost (with only medicare and no other insurance (like, as if I was retired) for Prolia is like $600 twice a year.  Uh no.  I think my brother went to Reclast after Fosamax for 5 years... and it's an infusion.  Don't know what that cost would be. Darn bones anyway.  I have learned the Fosamax just works on the outside of the bone.  In the meantime, the inside of the bone could get weaker.  So whatever I take next is to build up the inside of the bone.  Why can't they just create a drug that will do both?  I hate taking drugs!!

On another note.... I picked up the two combo boxes yesterday and OH MY!  I don't know what I was expecting, but certainly NOT two cases of sweet peppers, 8 bags in a case.  These sweet peppers range from 8-10 inches long, I think!  What in the world am I going to do with all these sweet peppers?  Plus they put in avocados, tomatoes, yellow bell peppers, red bell peppers, mini cucumbers, and I got two cases of English cucumbers (the ones with the plastic wrapped around them)...  I called my granddaughter and she came up and took a couple bags of the sweet peppers and a few other things.  I contacted my DIL.  I had to laugh, somewhat.  We text, cause she is working.  I had taken several veggies up to her the night before.  I sorta advised I had all these things and after a few thoughts tossed back and forth.... she texts that 'R likes all those things'.  So I asked 'Do you have room?"  Her response?  "We will make room!"  LOL  So I loaded up 4 bags of the very large sweet peppers and several other items and took up to her. Grateful she was taking them off my hands.  I still have about 8 bags or more but will gradually get them passed out to the neighbors.  Maybe I will take a couple down to the girls in Dr. Mark's office.  Great to munch on - and healthy too, right?  I used up several of the sweet peppers last night and added onions and kielbasa to it and they were good!  We have some left over and will have either for a snack after we get home or I'll throw something else with it and we can have for dinner.  Hubby thought we could have the leftovers for lunch today, but with being in the doctor's office from 10-12 today (my appt at 10, his at 11), I told him we'll probably stop for lunch on the way home!  He don't care... as long as he gets to eat.

Needless to say, I won't be getting any combo boxes for awhile.  I accidentally bought two this time and should have called and changed to one, but did not.  Even with one box, sometimes I still need to share what I get. 

Good news - sorta.  I may FINALLY get my oven and stove back on July 6th!  Hubby called and confirmed yesterday that the appliance company will be here between 8-12.  I won't know how to act to have both my oven and stove back!  I've really gotten used to using my electric skillets and air fryer more than anything.  I still need to find the instructions for my grill... daggone, I still haven't used it.  And I should!  It's one of those 'I will put the instructions here so I know where they are at' and now I don't remember where I put them!  Every place I've looked that I thought I would have put them - they aren't there!  But it will be in a simple place when I find them, right?

Today is July 1st. Again, this year feels like it is flying by.  Half the year is gone, and my blogs have been reduced to daily ramblings.  I did have great plans for this blog when I started it in 2011. Huh.  Just remembered my son set it up for me after I 'retired' from working for a year.  I did have great plans for it. Didn't post on it every day like I do now, which is probably why I ramble so much.  Why could I possibly share every day that would be interesting?  For the most part, my rambling is not, I'm sure, but it does keep family who read in here updated on most of what is going on in my life. Some things just can't be shared, of course, but I have opened myself up more and more as I write.  My heart has been laid bare in some cases.  And it helps me to share that, at times, for without a 'face' to judge me, I can work through some things just by getting my pain out before me.  Writing does that.

As I wrote out my prayer this morning in my journal, it was another brutal, honest, and heart-bearing one. I am sure most of my pain is self-inflicted - guilt perhaps?  But I also have learned that people carry hurt at times that no one sees, because sharing it with others is too painful. And we are protective of those who hurt us, most times.  We want people to know our pain, but not always the cause of it. And the pain can come from different sources.  Sometimes the pain is so real it takes the breath away.  But we push on through it.  Other times it is just words spoken and received in anger, in frustration, that drives us to withdrawal and emptiness.  Oh that my prayers could be answered the way I ask!  But then again, I do not see the big picture; I do not see how my prayers affect others. But I want my own way. But I also know that 'my own way' is not always the best way, and I must be patient and allow God to do what only He can do.  I surrender to that.  As painful as it is, giving up my desires and wants, I submit to His authority, His vision.  All I can say is "Lord, please help me to be who You created me to be.  Help me to fall deeper in love with You, and totally and completely surrender to Your will for me."

I think I mentioned a few days ago that hubby and I had the conversation about using a cane. He finally agreed that 'maybe' he should use one.  Monday I ordered him a cane from Amazon that had the 'feet' on the bottom so that it wouldn't fall.  We all know he wouldn't know what to do with one at the table and if it fell, he couldn't pick it up.  When it came yesterday, among his comments about me getting more packages (I can't help it if Amazon haul delivers sporadically; I haven't ordered anything else), I handed him the package with the cane in it. "What is this?" he asked.  And when he opened it, he actually got angry.  He didn't want it. I told him 'Fine!  When you fall I will walk away and just leave you there to get up on your own!'  OH MY GOODNESS!  That started a barrage of "You wouldn't leave me laying on asphalt and getting burned!! You cannot leave me on the floor!"  Needless to say, the evening wasn't perfect after that. Of course I wouldn't leave him on the floor, but I told him that if he is too proud to use a cane (because he feels that makes him 'old'), why should anyone help him if he falls.  

Hmmm. Makes me think with that comment of not using a cane because it makes him feel old, I have chosen NOT to attend some functions at church for the 55 and older women because I don't want to feel 'old'!  Truth! Some women, once they turn a certain age, quit living, if you know what I mean.  They quit work, so they quit being active, they become like grandmothers of old.  And then their body starts to slow down, deteriorate.  I don't want to be like that!  I want to live and move and breathe!!  And it gets harder every day because of the prison I live in.  So I pay to have someone train me to get my muscles strong as I age.  I've been writing down my exercises each time so that when I 'retire' - if that ever happens, I can continue these exercises and know what to do. Grateful that Morgan doesn't always use the equipment, but uses the dumbbells and the wraps to do exercises with.  I can do the majority of these from home.

And wow - I have written a bunch of stuff today - a lot of nonsense - haven't I! So - with that, I need to get off here, and get ready to head to the doctor's office.  I forgot to put my out of office on the work computer yesterday so need to do that first.  Working tomorrow, then off Friday for the July 4th holiday.  Too bad every day isn't a holiday, right?

Don't be critical or hard on others, for you don't know what really is going on behind their behavior, behind their words.  Sometimes life is so very hard, but we get through it - with God's help.  Be kind.

Have an amazing day!

Blessings!

She drives me crazy....

 and you probably know whom I am referring to.  Yep. My little sister.  She started again yesterday morning about the training .... and I told her - again - that her son had sent her money, if training is what she wanted to spend it on - go for it.  I finally lost my patience with her going back and forth and excuses (she always has excuses)... and told her "Girl, get over yourself!"  She responded "Well, that is a bit harsh." So I told her plainly what she was doing.  What she had said she wanted in the beginning of all this - just enough training, 2-3 times on the equipment, so that she would know what to do.  I get that. I would want that too.  But because (I'm just guessing here) I have continued my training for nearly two years now that she wants to do MORE than just a couple.  I don't care what she does. If she can get her son to pay for it - or find the money herself - go for it.  Sometimes she just drives me crazy!

Probably like the crazy I drive my kids sometimes when I can't make up MY mind, right?  No, I don't think I'm that bad.  Really.  (am I?)

I did not sleep well last night and I do not know why.  I was awake two hours after I went to sleep and from then on it was doze and wake up, doze and wake up.  I finally got up around 3:45am and tried to sleep in here, but could not. The problem with coming out of the bed is that if hubby wakes up and realizes I'm not there, he will come in here or go throughout the house trying to find me.  So then I hear his feet shuffling on the tile floor and it wakes me, then he has to ask 'why are you up' and want a response and well, surprisingly, with all my talking there, he didn't get up until nearly 5AM.  Surprisingly too, because he slept in his chair a few times yesterday - and still seems to have slept all night.

Our dinner with friends last night got moved to tonight.  I'm thinking of moving it to next week as I have training at 4:30 and they want to meet up at 5:45... it would be pushing it for me to get home, pick up hubby, and throw on jeans (instead of my workout shorts).  I'll check on them today to confirm - it was her husband with his back this time - it was her back last week.  Praise God I don't have back issues.

But then, my hip bone started hurting during the night again, with the pin prick inside my leg.  Same thing every time, only no shooting pain down the leg this time.  I know it is hard to explain to the doctor, and they don't 'see' it because there is nothing to 'see' on the outside.  It's inside the leg that is causing me problems.  The pain is gone now - it comes and goes - which is also weird. Maybe I'm just weird? Don't answer that!

Went to visit Ms. Vicky last night.  I know she gets lonely.  But now she is starting to ask to include her when we go out to eat, or go somewhere.  It's not that I mind taking her, but hubby (and I'm not blaming him) does not have patience ... although he is just as slow as she is... she uses a walker to get around.  I lose my patience with him sometimes.... and I think he does it intentionally - walks slower - at times, just to make me stop and wait for him.  Not that I walk fast with him, but I start walking, thinking he is with me, and then stop and turn around and he's 15 feet behind me!  So I wait for him to catch up. It's not that I'm walking off from him (I don't think) - I just start walking, expecting him being behind me.  Anyway, this is about the third time Ms. Vicky has asked me to take her with us when we go somewhere.  I don't commit.  But I will find a time that I can get away for a quick lunch and ask if she wants to go with me.  Don't get me wrong - we are friends, as well as neighbors, but I have enough problems with hubby, if you know what I mean.  I need my 'free' time... and yet, I don't want to hurt anyone.... once in awhile won't hurt me to take her with me somewhere.  I just don't want her dependent upon me like she is on another one of her friends.  Does that make sense?  This friend takes her everywhere every time she calls.  I don't have that capability.  Her friend is single.  I'm not. Does any of this rambling make sense?  I know - if this was one of my children or grandchildren, I'd be finding time, right?  That's different. They still have their own lives.  I guess it's because hubby is so dependent upon me (if I want to go out, he wants to go with me), that I don't want someone else to be.  Am I nuts?

I got an email from one of my friends at work who I covered for last week.  It was interesting that she shared that while on her trip she had to deal with forgiving someone in her women's group.  She mentioned that she had been carrying unforgiveness for awhile and the Lord really dealt with her about it while she was resting on the beach.  She worked through it and was finally able to forgive this woman for some things she had said.  I found it interesting that she wrote about withholding forgiveness, when just the other day I wrote about the consequences of unforgiveness.  See, it isn't just in my family, it's in everyone's life.  Someone is always offending someone - and the seed is planted.  How we want it to grow is how often we water it.

Update on my quail family.... Mama and a couple babies were walking under my window yesterday morning.  Papa was walking on the outskirts of the courtyard.  The babies, there were 2-3 of them, were like a week or so old.  I checked on the remaining eggs in the pot and I think there are 4 left out of 12 that were laid.  This is the one nest in the aloe vera plant.  (all the eggs in the other pot hatched at the same time)  These little babies can jump as high as their parents!  I watched these little babies jump up to the ledge and then on up to the roof - following their mama!!   I hope all the eggs eventually hatch and find their mama.  I keep checking all the pots now, to see if we have any more nests!  I really do need to clean up the courtyard.  It's really cluttered.  Maybe this Saturday I can get out for a couple hours and get it straightened up.  

So many things I want to do - but I can't do them while hubby is home.  He always wants to help - but never takes the initiative to do it himself.  For three weeks he has told me he wants to take down the filter (it is the old metal filters) from the air conditioner and take it out and hose it down (get the lint off or whatever it is).  I will remind him this weekend so we can get it done and he can quit asking me if I will help him (he won't get on the stepstool if I'm not here to make sure he won't fall) get it down.  Maybe I need to make a list - help him with the air filter, then I can go out in the courtyard and get rid of some things and straighten it up.  Maybe I'll even go and buy some plants.... sigh... such a waste of money cause the sun burns them up. But they do look pretty for awhile.

Or I could continue to 'be my mother' and plant artificial flowers. I do have artificial flowers in the big pot outside the gate. I don't care, it looks pretty, but tulips probably should be removed now, ya think? I need to find another artificial flower to put there. LOL

Well, I have nothing for you this morning. My heart is heavy, my eyes are sleepy, and I'm tired. Groaning over a workday doesn't help either, does it!  I have time before work (since I was up early) so I will take a leisurely shower and then get ready for work.  Oh lucky me - and I am - I do have a job.  I wish they'd offer me early retirement.  Like with a 'settlement' to retire with, right?  I got a year's pay when I 'retired' from my first company.  I would do that.  

And so - I will leave you with this today....

May the Lord bless you and keep you, make His face shine upon you, and be gracious to you.  May He turn His face towards you, and give you peace.  Amen.

Blessings!

Good morning, world!

 Yeah- that is about the best my energy is this morning!  I had a 7:30AM training with Morgan - we did core - and she had me sweating!  And I only glisten - not sweat!  Even my hair got wet!  She laughed!  I kept asking her if she needed to go pee - so that I could quit.  She made me finish all three sets except the last exercise - and I had dragged out the time so much talking that she only had time to run to the bathroom before her next client.  And you know what - that one minute I didn't have to do that last exercise was well worth stopping for!  I'm hobbling around like an old woman!  My left hip has still been hurting - even with rubbing Voltaren on it - ever since I got bit by those bugs, I've had days of pain in that left hip - and no one will listen to me.  They can't see anything, therefore, what can they do?  At least I get a bone density this year in September so we may be able to see something - although it more than likely will see the bone weakened.  Just call me hop-a-log.  (remember Hop-a-long Cassidy? LOL)

Came home after working out, got back on the work computer.  Hubby headed off for his 9AM training with Morgan and I made a cup of coffee and grabbed 1/2 of a cherry turnover.  Yes, I weakened last night at the grocery store. I bought myself Cherry turnovers (ate half of one last night, put two in the freezer, ate the other half this morning, and have one left for tomorrow) and Apple Fritters for hubby. I think he has forgotten about them - but once I remind him they are in the other refrigerator, he will start eating them. Yes, I like them too, but they have way too much sugar for me.  Well, to eat a big one anyway. :-)

The youngest son is planning on doing a ceremonial swearing in with his youngest son at the VFW at 10:30AM on Saturday.  We plan to attend. He only has the hall for 30 minutes.  His son has decided he needed a break and is driving up north to visit his mom and brother for a days.  He kept telling my son he may have to work on Saturday, and he kept being told "then schedule for 12PM for work" - but give him 10:30-11AM.  I sure hope he does for my son will be so disappointed if he doesn't. My son plans to wear his dress blues.

Afterwards they plan to take the grandchildren (my greats) to the Wildlife Zoo and we were invited to go along. I told him I couldn't as I had a hair appointment - but hubby said he'd still go if he didn't have to drive.  My son said he could fit him in the car.  Ok- that works.  Then, later last night the son calls - having a bit too much beer, I'm sure - and started talking about whether or not I was going cause he wanted to go to the base to get tickets; they are less expensive there.  After us going back and forth a bit, I finally told him I'd go and cancel my hair appointment, to get tickets for both of us.  I really wanted to hang with the great-grandchildren anyway - but had already scheduled my highlighting.  Well, I called Joe this morning and I'm going to take a couple hours off work tomorrow and he is going to work me in to get my hair done before vacation.  I'm going to start getting it highlighted and head back to my grayish hair.... I can't afford to keep the brown, and if I ever retire, doing my hair will be one thing that will come far between trims. If I can't afford the brown while I'm working, then I know I can't afford it when I'm not - right?  So - long story short - I'm getting my hair done tomorrow - and will go to the wildlife zoo with family after the swearing in on Saturday.

Looking at the bulletin board in front of me - I see a few of the quotes I have added over the years.  "Make the Sacrifice.  Take the Risk.  Draw the Circle" (Mark Batterson from The Circle Maker).   "God can't take you to your future if you can't let go of your past".  (Jentezen Franklin).   "Define your Dream.  Claim your Promise. Spell  your Miracle."  (Mark Batterson)   "Most of us don't get what we want because we don't know what we want". (Mark Batterson).

Those are just a few of the notes I have on my wall.  Some scriptures, some work notes. My preaching schedule for next year. I frequently glance up there and read the quotes. They are there to encourage me to not give up.  What I wish for, dream for (retirement, in this case) may not be in MY timeframe, but God will pull it together for me when it is time. I just have to be patient, whether I want to be or not. Look how long it took me to get hubby to even 'agree' (albeit reluctantly) that if I wanted to retire, I could.  Because of his delay, his lack of enthusiasm for my happiness... it has messed up our relationship - but that's on him.  I think he knows I won't be like him, sitting at home day after day.  I will find something to volunteer for - even if it is cleaning the bathrooms at church!  He has never been one for manual labor - ever - so his retirement years of TV, his phone, and his recliner is perfect for him.  Granted, give me a good book and I'm happy, but I still need to get out and do things.  You know that many things that we do together - is because I am doing them and he doesn't want me to have fun without him. LOL  Not putting down, stating facts.  Like going to the zoo.  He doesn't like to walk - so this will be interesting. I will carry the cane, even if he refuses to use it. I'm sure after awhile he will be willing to!  He usually does a lot of sitting and wanting to leave early. At least that happened a few years ago at the Phoenix Zoo.  He does ruin a lot of my fun... just saying.

And this isn't a bashing so I'm going on to another subject.  Just give me a minute to think of one.  Hmmm.  Mama quail is still sitting on her nest. I swear she is huge now - or looks that way when she spreads her body over all the eggs.  I did manage to drop some water on a few of the fringes of the plant while she was away. 

I did manage to get (I think someone is baking brownies - they sure do smell good!  I don't have an oven so it isn't me!!)  - wow, got distracted by the smell. Now what was I going to share that I managed?  Oh yeah - I did manage to get about 4 of the trainings out of the way yesterday for work. Just got notice they have added another.  Have about 16 to do yet, I think.  Sigh.  Gotta do it.  I will definitely NOT miss having to do those!  

And with that - it's time for hubby to be home so I'm getting off here and getting back on my work stuff. Oh- he just sent a text he was heading to Walgreens.  Sue just sent me a meeting to schedule.  Then back to working on the trainings.

Have an amazing day!  Be kind to someone today.

Blessings!

A new day... what's next?

 Thursday.  I don't think there is anything big going on today. I do have a chiropractor appointment this morning - and I hope I don't forget it. I shouldn't; I put notes everywhere this time.  I have forgotten twice int he past few months. I forget to put it on my work computer - and then I get so involved with work, I forget to look at my personal calendar... and next thing I know I get a phone call.  I finally told him (again, I think), that if I am late, to call me; I'm one mile away.  But he waits until my time is nearly over.  He said he would, but it doesn't matter. We just reschedule and I don't think he charges me for a missed visit. I don't care.  If I find he does - I will just stop going.  It's not like he is super busy and my visits with him are barely ten minutes.  But I do feel better for going.

I don't have my second session at the gym until 8AM tomorrow morning.  I've been trying to do some exercises here at home and if I can keep it up, it will help with my workouts at the gym.  There are a few exercises I would like to 'master' that I don't like.  One is called the Bulgarian Split Lunges - or something like that.  I can't keep my balance at all.  Going to work on that one.  Another is the sliders - where you put your feet on them, start in a plant position, then pull your feet up and to the side and back.  I cannot get my butt up that far off the ground!  So I paid the $6.99 for a pair of pink sliders to practice with here at home. Morgan will laugh at me.  

I don't think I have anything pressing this morning for work.  I had an 8AM meeting yesterday for a prep on a board meeting - only to find no slide deck had been prepared.  I hadn't done that before - but I did my best, trying to pull it together along with an agenda. I think I did pretty good. Now it's up to everyone else to insert their slides to complete it.  Meeting is March 4th.

We got a little bit of rain yesterday. About 1PM-ish, I think, I decided to take a short walk. The rain had stopped and I just needed to get out of the house.  I told hubby I was going for a quick walk.  "Where are you walking to? How long do you plan to walk? How far will you walk?" and all these questions.  It was cold out!  I went a different direction than what I told hubby - just because I wanted to!  I didn't go far though - it was sprinkling, and I didn't want to be caught in a downpour.  And I didn't. Wasn't gone but about 15 minutes.  When I got back, it was "How far did you go? Which way did you go?  I know I will slow you down, but I will walk with you next time (sigh) and I'll use my walking stick."  Heaven forbid I should have a moment to myself when he is sitting at home doing nothing. A little sarcasm there, right?

I John 1:11-12 (NIV)  Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; But if we love one another, God lives in us and His love is made complete in us.

Sometimes it is just hard to love others, isn't it?!  Especially when they have said or done something that has hurt us or hurt someone we love.  Slights can cause problems, as well as words spoken. And even things done unintentionally can cause hurts that interfere with love.

Today is my step-sister's funeral.  I think I have just realized some things.  Her twin is the one who accused our side of the family of taking more of an inheritance than what we were to get - not true at all; we all got the same amount.  The twin is the one who hired an attorney to contest Mother's will.  My older brother, co-executor of the will, and I, fought against the charges and won.  The twin tried to blame it (sent me a sympathy card at Christmas time with a note that said she wasn't at fault. I didn't respond) on my older brother.  We never corresponded before Mother's death, and not afterwards.  The twins did not attend our sister's funeral three years ago.  The step-brother and his wife did.  They keep in contact with all of us.  The twins did not.  Now my little sister, maintained contact with all of them - which is fine, I don't care.  So that explains, in my mind, why she is listed as a 'sister' (not step) and none of the rest of our side of the family is listed.  It will be noticed by many, for many will see the obit and know there is something going on. At this point, I don't care.  I did send each of 'that side' of siblings a sympathy card with a note.   But it explains in my mind why that happened. Not that we hadn't seen each other in years, but that I had stood up to the twin and said you are not going to take what little there is and divide it among your side only. Which was her plan. Oh well. I'm over it.

Do I still love them?  Of course I do. They are still family, whether they claim our side of the family or not.  Am I holding grudges of what they did to our family?  No, I'm not. In fact, I hadn't thought of it in years.  If I see them, I will be gracious and kind and loving. Could I point fingers at their faults? Yeah. Will I?  No.  God will deal with them in His time and in His way. And if I am in the wrong, God will deal with me in His time, and in His way. So I am letting it go. Done. Finished.

The appliance guy came out yesterday and disconnected my oven, taking the controller with him. He told me when he came in that he had turned the breaker off.  No big deal, right?  Only, when I started to cook dinner last night, my stove doesn't work either.  I am guessing that both the stove and oven are on the same breaker.  Ooops.  No biggie, though.  I used the microwave last night.  I have electric skillets, I have a toaster oven, I have an air fryer.  It will be interesting what I can come up with while we wait on the controller being returned - as he said he had to ship it out somewhere for repairs.  If it can't be repaired, then the warranty company will have to determine if they are going to remodel my kitchen to install a new oven.  I was told they don't make this size anymore - it is over 20 years old.  Well, we shall see.  Maybe we will go out to eat tonight - I still have a Chili's gift card left.  But I also still have food in the freezer I need to use up. Actually, I need to defrost the freezer and rearrange it so that I know what is in there.  And I still need to figure out how to use my grill!  But more rain is due today so I may not do that for a few days yet.  It's electric so don't want to plug it in while it is raining.

And I need to jump off and turn on the work computer.  I still have time to take a quick shower before work as well.  I need to determine some things that I want to do.... and I still need to pull my tax information together so that hubby can add to his - our appointment is the first part of March.  That would be a good idea, I reckon.  I have lots to go through. 

So with all my rambling today, I am going to hush.  Think about that scripture today; who is it that you feel you can't love?  Maybe you need to figure it out and love them, as you want to be loved by God. It's not easy, trust me!  You can love them, but you don't have to be involved in their lives - unless God tells you to. Sometimes that is difficult as well.  Always do what God tells you to do.  The consequences are too great not to.

Blessings!

It was a minor thing

but I did get started on my closet yesterday.  I say 'started', because I only skimmed through my clothes and pulled out my Christmas stuff to put out in the garage, and about a dozen shirts to take to my daughter to see if she wants any.  She took about but about 4, I think.  Told her to put those in the yard sale.  I debated on bringing back home and hanging up - but if I wasn't wearing them before and took them off the hangers to take to her, it's a safe bet that I wouldn't wear them anyway - right?  So I did clean out the closet very little, and got my shoes put together.  Sigh. I'm afraid that with my broken toes, by the time I can handle wearing my heels again, I won't be able to.  It may be safer that I don't wear heels at my age, but I do feel I look better wearing them.  It's just a me-thing.

Today is Sunday and yes, we are planning on going to church.  This will be the third message in the series of H3 Holy Habits.  First one was prayer, the second one was fasting, and I'm trying to think what the third holy habit could be - and I'm wondering if it is reading the Word.  Or maybe having a quiet time daily.  Yeah, that might be it.  Stay tuned.  I'll try to remember to share in the morning what it is.  

As of right now, hubby does not want to continue the fast past our 21 days and join in with the church.  I do want to continue, and I'm wanting to change up my fast some; just not sure what I would change.  I've done well with no coffee, no bread (but I do eat crackers and tortillas), no sweets (and it's hard, knowing I have frozen snickers in the freezer door), and no meat - which isn't a big deal with me.  I think hubby is missing his bacon on Friday mornings. LOL  Or his chicken or steaks.  I can cook it for him and not eat it - I have before, and may do again. He will fuss, but it is his decision, not mine.  I want to join in with our church when we complete our fast, which next Sunday it is 'over' and hubby can have whatever he wants.  I want to continue, so will either continue what I am doing, or change back to perhaps my BBCD - no beef, no bread, no chocolate, no desserts.  

Our next doctor appointment is February 9th so it will be interesting what our blood work shows with dropping meat and bread and sweets (especially) during this time.  Which reminds me, I need to schedule my blood work by the end of the month so that he will get it in time for my appointment.  Hubby will go down to Dr. Mark's office to get his labs drawn.  Dr. Mark sends to LabCorp; my insurance only pays for Sonora Quest as they have a contract with them.  Which is why I have to go to Sonora Quest to get my blood drawn. No biggie. There are several close by.

Not much on the agenda today.  Hubby will remind me a few times it is a day of rest - which relieves him of feeling guilty if I do something. LOL I do what I want to do.  But I also do rest and generally take a nap sometime during the day.  I got started on one of my Christmas diamond art projects yesterday - I want to get the Christmas ones done first and framed so that I can put them up next year. There is a method to my madness. 

Don't have much time to write this morning as I need to stop and get ready for church.  Making myself beautiful takes time, you know.  Will probably need to wear my flats this morning.  I don't think hurting myself wearing heels is the right thing to do. DUH.

Had my Overnight Oats this morning  -  so good.  Along with my tea.  

And now - I'm just going to tell you to have a great day - cause I do need to get up and get moving!  Maybe I will have something fun to share tomorrow morning.

Blessings!

It happens today...

 I am getting a tooth pulled this afternoon so no water, no coffee, no food, no nothing - for 8 hours prior to the surgery.  I COULD have had my coffee at 4AM this morning since my surgery isn't until 2:30PM, but I opted not to even have it.  I did have a sip of water a little bit ago.  But from this moment on, nada. nothing.  I'll deal with the caffeine headache.  Giving up my water for 8 hours is going to be the hardest part.  I wonder if it because of having something in the stomach - or that they don't want you to pee your pants while they do surgery.  Or have to say, "excuse me, I need to pee" just before they give you the 'needle'.  Weird thought to have this morning, isn't it?   So yeah, I have the molar removed this afternoon.

And I don't know what's wrong with me this morning.  I have read one chapter in a book , but I have slept the remainder of the time.  My room is chilly as usual, and I'm snuggled in my blanket and socks.  I just kept closing my eyes and going back to sleep.  Now I'm down to the wire to get this written and get in the shower before work in a very short time.  Not that I have much to say today.

Hubby had his bible study last night and I was home alone.  I did watch one Christmas movie, but then turned the TV to You Tube and found a fireplace.  I just wanted quiet and calm.  So I finished a baby blanket as I 'sat' by the fireplace last night. I did eventually turn on audible and listen to a book I had started some time ago.  Should only have a chapter or two left and I can mark it in Goodreads as 'read'.  It was very relaxing.  Hubby came home at his usual time and our grandson in New Mexico called and we got to chat with him and his little family for a little while on facetime.

I had really thought I'd start wrapping last night - get some of these gifts out of this room.  But, it looked too overwhelming.  Besides, an evening alone is sometimes nice and I didn't want to do anything.  Half of a bagel for dinner, some chocolate, an ice cream and I was good to go for dinner.  What?  That wasn't healthy?   It's what I wanted and since hubby wasn't home, I could eat what I wanted, right? LOL

Enjoyed my time with my favorite boss yesterday for breakfast.  Had to pickup my final prescription yesterday on the way home so now I'm all set with my 'drugs' for this appointment.  The last two times I haven't really needed the pain pills, but they are nice to have later when I get one of my 'headaches' that I can't shake with excedrin.  Even then, only 1/2 a tablet is enough to take care of it so they usually last me a year.  Grateful I don't have to deal with a lot of pain with a tooth pulling.  Hopefully, this one will be see the same as the two before.

I've 'started' my Christmas decorating.  I have a Santa Clause setting by the front door.  I'm hoping this weekend I can get at least one tree up.  Actually, nowadays, it shouldn't take long to get a tree up as they are all connected.  I can remember when we had to put each 'branch' in a slotted hole every year.  We even had the silver tree with the lights reflecting on it to change the colors when I lived at home. I also remember putting each branch in the pole to make it a tree! Now all I have to do is pull out of the box and put one layer upon the other.  And the lights are already on the tree!  No fancy ornaments; no fancy stuff.  Plain and simple.  I love the preparation as much as getting to enjoy it once it is completed.  The part I don't enjoy as much is the wrapping - but even then, it's not bad.  I 'git er done'.

My male boss comes back to work today - oh joy.  He really isn't the ogre I make him out to be, he just gives me a lot of work.  But I'm shutting down at 1:30PM today to get ready for the surgery (as if I need to do anything; I just didn't want to rush) so will tell him to I'll finish up his 'stuff' when I return to work tomorrow.  It's been nice with only an occasional email from him while he was 'off'.  He just can't stay off the computer!

I guess I need to learn about the new things in computer language.  Chatcpt or something like that? And Copilot.  I don't want to learn it!  But it sounded like fun as some of the executives played with it during the meeting the other day.  I don't even know how to 'get there' so will be checking You Tube to find out what it is.  I do need to get more 'learned' about the 'new way' on doing things, I guess.  I say I don't use it in my work, so why learn it - but then, who knows, some time I may want to use it and change things about.  I need to 'just do it' and quit resisting, I guess.

And I'm rambling; and I need to jump in the shower.  No makeup today, but I do want to wash my hair and smell decent.  No jewelry, no makeup, loose clothes with a short sleeve shirt.  Ok then, I think I can do that!  Afterwards, based on previous visits, I will come home and sleep some more. :-)  That's the best part - I have a reason, right?

Gotta go - maybe I'll be back on track tomorrow with something to share.

Blessings!

It could be a busy day....

 and I'm already 'running late'.  I got up in time, but wanted to sleep a bit more... and I imagine I did for at least another ten minutes or so.  Hubby didn't get up until 5:30 and when he brought my coffee in, he wanted to chat about something I had on the calendar for me today (what is it?) and so I had to pause in what I was doing to explain.  Then when he came in to leave for Bible study, he had to again interrupt me to tell me he was expecting a package of collagen to arrive today, but it probably won't arrive until this afternoon.  Sigh.  And I try not to get frustrated with him.  It's these little things that can surely wait until AFTER my quiet time is completed, and not in the middle of my bible reading or prayers.  One would think, anyway.

I was able to mark a few things off my list yesterday and that was a good thing.  Finished up a set of minutes and got the PowerPoint deck uploaded to the Teams site so that people could start putting their documents in it for the board meeting scheduled for October 2nd.  @ 6AM.  Come December it will be 7AM due to the time change in Colorado, but another month of 6AM.  I can't really complain, I did miss 4 hours of work the other day for my doctor appointment.  I do make it up eventually with working through lunch, but still....I'm grateful I am not hourly and have to record every minute in and out.

It's Friday and I'm hoping to complete some more tasks on my list for work.  Plus perhaps get a few things done in here - this room that is such a mess with the loaded bed.  Which reminds me.... sigh.  Hubby and I 'got into it' again last night about 'his room'.  "That's the only room that's mine!!"  For heaven's sakes!  All I want to do is take down all the books (which during the 'discussion' I reminded him that they are MY books because I bought them! and He says "they are OUR books!"  And So I threw back at him - "they aren't 'OURS' until I die!) - LOL - I want to take down all the books and put them in alphabetical order by author because we have several books that we have two and three of because we can't find one when we are looking for it - or don't remember having it - so buy another!    "It will take weeks and it will leave a mess in MY office!"  "It will take less than a week if we work together and work on it."  UGH.  And you think I am the possessive one!  I SHOULD go in and just take a shelf at a time and put that shelf in order, you think?  It WOULD help in finding a specific book.   (erase)

I'm already ordering Christmas gifts and working on trying to figure out where to put them.  Still have a few months to go, right?  I plan to put my trees - yes, it is plural - up in November.  In doing so, I can put gifts under the trees and out of this room.  I have no storage place in the house, and I have most of the cabinets full in the garage - cause it's too dang hot to pull my car out and work on them!  I have so much I can get rid of.  I just need to get to it and 'let it go'.  I bet you do too.  

I have a dull headache between the eyes this morning; sure hope it goes away soon.  I should eat something, but I have labs scheduled at 11:45AM so want to be fasting to have it done.  It's the first one for Dr. Mark (he did pull my old ones from the portal) and I want it to be prefect. LOL  I should be so lucky, right?  I go back on the 16th to get the results of all the tests.  Which reminds me, I need to do a run to the imaging place and get a chest x-ray (no appt necessary) and get my mammogram scheduled for this year.  He ordered both on the same sheet so I feel I need to go in, rather than just going online to schedule.  Maybe I can run over there this afternoon - will see how busy the afternoon is.

Tomorrow is my oldest son's 54th birthday.  I need to pull his package together and take up to my DIL at work this afternoon before she leaves.  I generally wait until 4PM as I think she is done with everything except the paperwork.  Always good to have a few minutes with her.  Ms. Diane has been moved to the new facility and I talked to her last night.  She is getting 3 hours of therapy a day now and says yesterday she walked 140 feet.  With the walker, of course.  She doesn't feel her kids will let her come back home - but I encourage her that if she can prove she can walk about, they will let her.  But I would not be surprised to see them sorting things out.  I plan to go see her tomorrow - probably after I get my hair cut and on my way home.  Still trying to maneuver my time.  Needles of Hope is in the morning so that's 9-12, then Joe at 1PM, stop and see Ms. Diane... I probably won't get home until 3PM and 4PM starts a grandson's birthday party.  It could be a busy day!  

And - I need to get to work - and since I started late - all you get to read is my ramblings.  Hope that you have an amazing day!

Blessings!

It was a long and busy day

yesterday.  It truly was.  I didn't get everything completed, and by the time 4PM rolled around, I didn't care it wasn't completed - and left the desk.  I was done for the day.  I started about 6:30AM yesterday and with a few pauses to grab something to eat, to snack on, by 4PM I was 'done'.  Still have it facing me this morning, but at least I can look at it with fresh eyes. Right?

Once again this week my scales show a .4 rise... got to quit the snacking, I think.  Not really following Virta anymore, but need to cut back on the carbs at least.  Last week I ate a lot of bread.  Yesterday was popcorn (yes, it is a carb), and I found brownies I had stashed in the freezer.  Yes, I ate a frozen one as I was figuring out dinner - and I fixed rice with black beans and meat balls.  True, that sounds kind of gross - and it is definitely full of carbs (rice and black beans and meatballs!) - but we ate it all and it was good.  Yes, black beans are protein, but I think I have mentioned before, I found out that 1/2 cup of beans is like 23 carbs!  When they want you to have only around 30 - you don't eat anymore that day.  Except for me. It seems I just continue eating.  Oh well.  Got to eat right - have my physical next Wednesday with Dr. Mark and I want to be 'perfect' - right?

Morgan killed my legs last night.  Let's see - what did we do.... oh yeah, how could I forget!  100 leg extensions (down) with 10 seconds pause when I go further.  My legs were shaking and I could barely walk when completed.  Then we went to the leg press.  3 sets of 10 - slowly.  From there we went to another leg machine and I had to do 50 of those.  I had about 5 minutes left and she gave me a choice - squats or lunges with weights.  There is no way I could do lunges; she knows I don't like them anyway.  I could barely walk my legs were shaking so much.  So I did squats.  I was hoping she would just have me do body weight squats.  But no, it was with the weights.  3 sets of 10.  I was glad when my 30 minutes was over.  This morning they aren't wobbly, but they are telling me my muscles were stretched.  My fault, I didn't do anything all week so now they have to 'get back into shape'.  I'm going to do another workout on my own today so will see how much I can do.

Hubby drove me crazy yesterday with constantly stopping in to talk to me.  Every time he made a call and talked to someone about something, he had to come tell me about the conversation. Or he would bring something in that he wanted me to read on his phone. He wanted me to fix lunch and sit and talk with him, but I told him I couldn't; had too much to do.  I'm sorry he gets lonely.... but I am working so that he can live comfortably.  And me too.  Today I imagine I will be kept pretty busy as well.  And that's ok.  

My favorite boss took today off to hang out with her daughter.  The children are somewhere and the men were going to do something - so they both have the day to themselves so they had plans to lunch and shop.  Every woman should have that opportunity to just get away with someone and lunch and shop and just enjoy 'freedom' from responsibilities.  Agree?

And it sounds from my son's blog that his wife did that on Saturday.  I love it.  I bet she found some great things at thrift stores.  I'm actually a bit jealous.  She really has a knack for finding nice things. Even though he was in meetings all day, I'm glad she was able to get out and have lunch with a friend and shop.

I have a large order coming from Amazon today.  Anymore, every time I get a package, hubby is right there, asking 'what did 'we' get?'  I got news for him - "we" didn't get anything.  It was all 'I'!  I shopped, I bought, and I pay for it.  It was all 'me'.  LOL  I've already started picking things for gifts.  I have a lot of people I like to give gifts to so I need to start early.  Last year I was able to quit shopping two weeks before Christmas because I was 'done'.  Yes, I miss a lot of good sales and spend more on things than I should because of buying early, but I don't have the stress of shopping nor standing in line. It's well worth it to me.  Right now I just need to find space to put these things and start labeling who they are for.   My oldest son is the easiest - he wants beef jerky.  Not sure what else to get him this year. I gave him numerous jars of pickles last year so probably not those.  I need to research for unique gifts. 

I Thessalonians 5:16-18 (NIV):  Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

I think we often wonder, when we go through things, "Is this really God's will for me?"  "What did I do to deserve this?"  I'm sure those questions go through our mind, especially when things are hard and we are struggling.  Many times, things that I go through, are the result of my own choices.  It's a lame example, but I'll use it.  I choose to go to the gym to work out.  I hurt.  But is it God's will that I hurt - or do I hurt from my own choice of going to work out?   Someone drinks too much and falls and breaks a leg.  Is that a choice they made - that they would break their leg?  Is it God's will for them to break a leg?  Probably not.  But the root cause of them breaking a leg is that they made a choice to drink way too much and lose control of common sense and walking.  

I think we all have done some pretty stupid things - I know I have.  And frequently the devil will remind me of stupid things I did 45 years ago.  I have to tell the devil where to go.  But the stupid things I did were not God's will for me, they were the results of choices I made.  But I can also see God's hand upon me, protecting me from many things during my life.  I often wonder now at the choices I made, the possibility of getting hurt, or hurting others - God kept me safe in spite of me.  He had plans for me.  He knew that if He could get my attention, I would run back to Him, and He was right.  It is a decision I have never regretted.  Am I who I think I should be?  Absolutely not.  But I am willing to take baby steps to get to where I need to be - safe in His arms.

At 76 I often think now about my life behind and the life I have before me.  Not much is left before me, for sure, and that is why I push to exercise and sometimes try to eat right.  At my age I can eat brownies and ice cream, right?  I want to live to 103, which I've shared before, and yet, I want to be with Jesus whenever He chooses for me.  I'm in His hands and that is where I want to be.

None of us know what the day will bring before it is over.  Every so often we will get a text of someone passing.  Or there is a prayer request because of sickness or something happening.  We don't know what this day will bring before it is over, nor what tomorrow brings.  We live in the 'now'.  I choose to surrender my 'now' to Jesus and let Him keep me.  Something to think about.

Blessings!

What will I forget?

 Today we will be heading out to Payson for our little vacation time.  Neither of us have even begun to pack yet.  I will get started once I finish this, I imagine.  Hubby will start on his soon as well.  He is much more excited about this trip than I am - and I am the one who is taking the week off work!  

Found out Saturday that Ms. Diane is in a rehab center - in fact, the one that my daughter-in-love works at.  I txt'd the DIL over the weekend, but no response, so don't know if she didn't get the email or just chose not to.  What could she say, anyway, right? I did go visit Ms. Diane on Saturday, and ran back up there again yesterday for about an hour.  Found a photo and a note about my DIL on the 'honor wall'.  Pretty cool.  Took a photo of it to keep. :-)  Ms. Diane should be there about 3 weeks from what she has told me, so will go back to see her when I'm back in town.  I probably should give her a call or two if I think of it while we are gone.  

Part of me is looking forward to getting away and seeing a different view.  Our room - because I chose the deluxe king (I think it is), it has a furnished patio - whatever that means.  It should be somewhat cooler there in the mornings and evenings so hope we will be able to sit outside and do some reading - if the mosquitos don't attack.  There is a fire north of there, so hopefully as well there won't be smoke in the area.  I'm not really dreading the drive itself, but am dreading the driving within the town.  People are stupid when driving most of the time (me included).  Usually we only go to the grocery store and finding a place to eat. But I hope to find a 'thrift store' or an 'antique shop' - not that I need anything at all, but I do love to look at the 'old' things.  Many bring back good memories of my mama or family members.  You never know what treasure you can find when you really look.  It's been awhile since I've gone 'thrifting' or 'antiquing'.

We went to church yesterday and the message was great.  Pastor John is speaking on the Unshakeable Promises of God.  Two great messages thus far - and he is doing a series so I'm guessing there will be at least two more.  Pastor Lindsay hasn't gotten back to me yet on us meeting up and I told her we'd be out this week so will touch base again when we get back. I know how txts and emails can be buried when you receive several in a day.

I have been eating like I'm on vacation - ice cream and cookies - and would you believe I've lost a pound? Figure that out! LOL  I haven't cooked but once (breakfast) all weekend.  We had TV dinners for lunch yesterday and hubby fixed himself a sandwich for dinner; (all by himself!) and I ate some cookies. Got to get focused on healthy eating and stop this junk food.  

I did go to Walmart yesterday and bought a small cooler (along with the Oreos) to put some things in to take with us.  We have cuties and a few things to put in it. Bought a case of water to take for I do like having my water available.  Also got me some popcorn to munch on (already popped) as a snack. Beef sticks/jerky for (me) Hubby.  Once there, we'll figure out what to do about food.  Supposedly the hotel is serving breakfast - but what is the question.  A hot meal or continental with bagels and donuts?  I reckon we will find out soon enough tomorrow morning.  Depending on what that is, we can snack during the day and then eat around 4PM and that will get us through the rest of the evening.  Hubby does want to go to the steak restaurant next to the hotel at least once.  I think there is a Denny's there as well and that will work for me. :-)

Philippians 1:21 (NKJV):  For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain.

As I was reading this morning I thought of several things that I could add to my ramblings.... but this is the one that comes back to me at the moment.  You can read it different ways - or rather, look at it in different ways.  But I read it as I (desire) live for Christ, if I should die (however that might happen), it would be a gain for me, for then I would be with Him.  As long as I'm here on earth, I will keep proclaiming Him as Lord.  But if I should die, then I could be with Him, and proclaim Him as Lord as well.  Win-win for me.    

Do you believe you will be with Jesus in Heaven for all eternity?  Will those you love be there?  It takes more than just saying the words. One has to believe that Jesus is the Son of God, that He came to earth to live and to die for our sins, and that on the third day He arose and ascended to His Father in Heaven after 40 days with His disciples.  Do you believe?  Do you live for Him?  Have you chosen Jesus?

Those are important thoughts/questions.  It can determine where you will be for all eternity.  I can't answer for you, for hubby, or for anyone else.  I can 'think' someone 'good' will be going to heaven, but unless they have given their lives to Jesus, no matter how 'good' they are, they won't make it.  I want to be better than just 'good'.  I want to be His.  Something to think about.

Guess I need to jump off here, remember to grab cords to phone, watch, and computer, and start my packing.  Will see if I have anything of value to share tomorrow morning - if I will have a chance to write.  If I don't... will catch up when I can.

Blessings!

6 days and counting

 Yes, I am counting.  Six more days until Jailbreak!  I am so ready to get away from work, hubby, and life as I live it daily - and run away up north to play.  I know, just different people, different scenery.  But, at last it is different.  I've been opening up not only the individual shutters in this room, but the entire thing to where I can see out the window (through the sun screen) without squinting through the shades.  sigh.  My new tea rose trees ae dying.  I did the plant app on them last night and it said they were getting too much sun.  And they do get a lot, I noticed the other day.  But I thought they would survive, but they are not.  I think I can take them back to Lowes and get them replaced since it has been less than two weeks.  May try to do that this weekend.  Looks like this other rose bush that I don't like has a lot of dead leaves on it too. It was here when we moved in and I never have liked it.  My SIL and I discussed cutting it back and see if it will grow anew, or just removing it.  Didn't make a decision; this may make the decision for us.  He is currently out of state so will have to make a decision when I get back from Jailbreak.  Can.Not.Wait.

The board meeting went well yesterday; I did have the 'other' admin do the slides and I just listened in. She forgot to take attendance; luckily I was able to do so since I wasn't doing the slides.  I did get permission from my male boss, who is the president of both boards, to change the content of the 'other' board that he gave me, and make it like this one.  I started working on it yesterday and will work on it some today. I don't think I have much to do today. Not that I remember, anyway.  

We had dinner with friends last night. Luckily. I txt'd her mid-morning to see if they wanted to do dinner - and we were able to.  We have stuff going on for the next couple of week so I knew it would be even later if we didn't.  They will head up Friday to Payson where they have a trailer. They go up EVERY weekend.  But, if you have a place that's yours, I guess you make the effort. They have been doing this for years. With Memorial Day being Monday and most people are off work (me included), it makes a nice long weekend.  Not sure what we are going to do just yet.  I'm content with getting in a baking mode. :-)  We did end up at Black Bear Diner and I got my usual - bacon cheeseburger salad.  It is huge and tastes just like a cheeseburger without the bread.  I love it.  Did bring about 1/3 of it home and will have it for lunch today.  

Speaking of baking - I did a recipe for an easy egg dish I saw on facebook yesterday.  I made it in my brownie tin - and they actually came out fairly good - but bland.  It's a great recipe for a quickie breakfast but I prefer my eggs ole'.  In fact, I mentioned to hubby I am going to make up a batch of eggs ole' and maybe freeze some.  Thinking about it, don't know if I have put in the freezer before.... don't want to ruin it.  I am in a baking mood, but, not for healthy stuff.  Brownies keep coming to mind as I have a box mix I really think I need to use.  But then I have to give it away cause I certainly can't eat it!  Well, not more than one piece of it, anyway.

Galatians 5:13 (NKJV): You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free.  But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love.

I finished a chapter in The Power of Persistence the other day on praying for your children.  It really convicted me to be really praying not only for my children, but for my grandchildren, and even my great grandchildren.  This world is a hard place to live in; our times are turbulent and difficult.  We all need to be praying for our children, that they will not be swayed by the world, but to be living in the Word of God and making wise choices.

Some people just do not realize that following Jesus is not that hard.  Seriously.  We look at the Bible as our list of 'don't' - but it really isn't.  It's full of 'do this' and you will be blessed.  I choose to be blessed than to live in the way of the world and be given a list of don't.  What about you?

God has allowed us to make our own choices.  Granted, we all make unwise choices at times.  I know I have. Some of my wild and stupid choices God has gotten me out of them.  Some He has chosen to let me live through and in them.  But in reality, are they really that bad?  I know, I gripe and whine and complain a lot about my life.... but in reality, I have a pretty good life.  Yes, I'm admitting it.  I live a good life.  I have a great job.  We have found a church we both like.  And we don't have to wait a year for our new pastors to meet with us over a meal - we're meeting next week for lunch!  When we asked them to meet with us over a meal - their first response was "Yes!  We want to get to know you!"  (yeah, I know, that could be the end of a great friendship, right?  Just kidding!)  When I saw Pastor Lindsay last week she came to me and gave me a hug - it wasn't me going to her!  That makes a difference!

Are you kidding me?  The landscaper with the weed eater just walked across our yard against the bushes and may turned the weed eater for 5 seconds and walked away.  These landscapers are lazy and only do a half-butt job.  Yeah, I have a beef against them. Our grass is horrible looking.  I think they ought to let us make our own decisions about our yard and let each one weed and seed and mow their own.  Less cost to the landscaper.  We have 3 in our neighborhood - this block alone - with their condos up for sale because of the HOA/landscaping issues.  LOL I found out last week that the catty corner neighbor had dirt dumped in his back yard (community property) and seeded and watered it on his own. No one saw what he was doing.  And I'm not telling. Of course hubby is not in the HOA now - in fact, he didn't even go to the community meeting yesterday.  I never go, using my job as a reason - it's usually in the afternoon during the week.  And, enough of that.

We do have freedom to do a lot of things - and with that, our choices are not always the right ones.  Perhaps we need to put a pause on our choices and rethink things before we buy something, before we do something, before we say something.  My usual problem is that the words pop into my brain and out my mouth on a slide before I know what is coming out.  You have that problem?  I need to shut the gate of the mouth and let the thought pause before speaking it - well, most times, anyway.

And with that - I'm shutting off my fingers and going to jump in the shower.  LOL  The landscapers are not even mowing the grass today - this person is walking around the yard with the weed eater and 'mowing down the weeds'.  Wait - what?  He has walked across the street and that is in another hOA>  Ah - here comes the edger guy - he's across the street.  We really need some professionals here.  AH - I got to get off here!  And quit watching out my window!

Have a great day!

Blessings!

What is it about 3AM?

 Once again, this morning I was awake at 3AM.   This time I had a song going through my mind - just a few words of it -  'O Rock O Rock of Ages, I'm thankful for your faithfulness, Your faithfulness'.  Over and over and over.  Finally, at 3:30AM I got up and came in here.  No, didn't go back to sleep - then - but I did try.  I turned the light on a little after 4AM and began writing in my journal.  After that I read my Bible and then started on a devotional.... and closed my eyes..... 30+ minutes later, I awake.  6:08AM.  Yeah, time to just put it away and get on here.  Been through the majority of my email deletes (one of these days I need to go through those I keep and don't read in the mornings), checked the bank account, paid my bills, read my son's blog, and here I am.  

Did I mention yesterday hubby had to get a new battery for his car?  Yeah.  Thank goodness it is something that generally lasts 4-5 years.  He has 80K on the car and it's a 2015 so it's small, but there is still a possibility it could have been the original, right?  Maybe.  Anyway, I can see why, if it was.  $389 later, he has a new battery.  He was told his car has something on it that requires a 'special' battery or something like that. I wasn't with him, not that it would have made any difference.  Like I know anything about car batteries.  But he does have a lot of extra electronic stuff on his car (that no one uses) that we weren't aware of.  I think they told him about some.  He's feeling pretty special, I'm thinking.  And that is why I make sure I have a savings account with a little money in it.  

I think my SIL will be over today to begin putting some flowers in the ground.  I wish I wasn't working for I would have already had the rocks out of that area and he could just dig and plant.  I may just tell him to leave the rocks and we can work around them.  That's a lot of work for a place I don't want to stay at. HAH - Hubby and I had that discussion again yesterday. I told him again that if I neighbors get $400K for their place, this place is going up for sale.  He started to argue with me about costs, etc., and I just told him I want a stand alone house. We can hire a landscaper, if needed.  (we did before for 20 years so why change that?)  He argued about a high house payment - and I told him that it wouldn't be high if we take what we make off this house and put the entire amount down on a newer home - and we don't need a big fancy house.  A 3 bedroom would be nice, but not necessary. We've survived with this 2-bedroom - although this room - the 2nd bedroom - is my office as well as the guest room, and he uses the closet in here, and I have a chest of drawers in here.  Ok - my mind is just running loose this morning.

Work kept me busy yesterday and I didn't have time to just sit around.  Today is going to start off busy for I have several meetings I didn't get scheduled yesterday that I definitely need to get done today.  Plus I am covering for my friend Cecilia.  She had back surgery last fall and I covered for six weeks, remember?  Well, since the back surgery, which was successful (she has scoliosis), she has constant needles in her one knee from the nerves in her back. I'm not even going to pretend I understand.  Today they are going into her back and place a block on that nerve which will alleviate the constant pain in her knee.  She's off today and tomorrow., and I'm covering for her, but her people don't give me any problems.  And she covers for me when I'm off so it's a win-win.

I need to get my mind refocused on writing in here.  It seems like the past month or so I have gotten off track - again - and just ramble more than anything else.  I guess at times that is ok.  This is like a journal of my life or so - right?  Of course I cannot be brutally honest about things - but it does help to alleviate some of my anguish at times.  And it helps to know that I'm not alone.

Oh - I got some exciting news last night!  Well, it isn't for ME, but for someone I call a dear friend - my trainer, Morgan.  She showed me a photo.  An ultrasound.  Yep - she is 2 months pregnant with her 2nd child.  The baby is due December 27th.  I'm excited for her, and once we know the sex - which will be a couple months yet - I'll get started on a blanket for her.  May 26th is her first child's birthday and I would like to get a quilt done, but I'm not going to stress about it.  I may even put it off until Christmas.  Last Christmas I made her a blanket.  But I want to find a little birthday gift.  She will be 2 this year.

And..... now that I've rambled some more.... I need to get off here and on the work computer.  Do I need to apologize for my ramblings instead of giving you something to think about?

Enjoy your day - I pray that you will receive what you have asked for.

Blessings!

Home alone, at least for a few more minutes

Hubby has gone to the gym this morning and I finished up my quiet time and jumped on here.  Cleared out some emails, checked the bank, now sitting here watching a pigeon walk on the ledge between the condos.  Boring, right?  Hubby should be home in about ten minutes.

The only firm plans for today is meeting the granddaughter and family for ice cream at 4PM.  At least for me. I recall that hubby was fussing about having a 2PM HOA meeting and he was fretting he wouldn't be out in time to go - but I told him he is the President and he can end the meeting and leave.  He has been thinking about resigning, but against my better judgement, I suggested he wait until November when the elections are again and do not put his name in for election.  I've been against it and told him no from the time we moved in - and he ignored me and did it anyway.  He has been stressing a lot over things going on and the issues within the properties and no monies to pay for them.  You have one board member who wants to buy new mailboxes for everyone (20-22 households) so that they will all look the same. Then there is this one place that has underage people living in it - like teenagers to early 20's - and no responses to letters - they wonder what happen to the adult who bought the property.  Stress not my concern, but hubby is carrying it around.

And then he has been commenting the past couple days of lower back pain and last night abdomen pain.  He did go to the gym this morning.  I suggested he call his surgeon who placed the coils in his abdomen if it doesn't go away and see if he can take a look (another u/s? ct scan?) to see if something is wrong. Don't know whether he strained himself somehow or what.  I told him to remember that he has been doing a lot of sitting and doing nothing for the past few days; maybe he moved the wrong way.  He's now stressing about that.  He did have leg day with Morgan this morning and he went, and I told him to be sure and tell her what is going on.  

I got a nice e-card from my favorite boss yesterday for admin professional day.  She will buy my lunch (and probably bring a small gift, at least she usually does) when we meet up on May 8th.  I was surprised to get a physical card with a note AND a gift card from my male boss yesterday.  And another boss sent me a e-gift card from Amazon; the other one I support sent me an MVP card through the company.  It's all about the recognition, right?  I think I will go shopping this afternoon, though.  I have a giftcard. :-)

I still haven't gotten over the hurt of the tit for tat comment, but I've been praying that I can let it go.  It changes things.

Dallas Theological Seminary has been offering some free classes.  I have taken one a year or so ago, and really enjoyed it and learned from it.  This time I have gotten a personal invitation to sign up for a new class starting on Genesis.  Complete with lectures, papers, tests, etc.  I haven't gotten into it all yet, but I may check further into it.  Always wanting to learn. They are also offering a free class on John via Facebook.  I did the one on James.  My problem, other than I don't like tests (but I did pass the one on James 100%), the lectures are generally when I am working.  Which is logical.  I need to see if it is recorded and I can watch in the evening.  Just haven't done that yet.

I did get online for a short while yesterday and cleared about 150 messages.  Still have several to go through - and then some.  I'm thinking about getting on it for a short while this morning and clearing out more.  Two of my bosses (favorite and male) have both taken today and tomorrow off, so I just need to catch up on what they sent before they left.  No biggie.

And, I'm going to jump off here. I tried to think of a scripture to share, but nothing specific is coming to mind.  Other than studying - and I couldn't find it when I went through I Timothy and II Timothy.  Maybe tomorrow.

Have a blessed day

Blessings!

Going with a lack of sleep

 We had dinner with friends last night - and yes, I ate carbs.  I wasn't too bad; I mean, I could have done a lot worse.  We went to Olive Garden.  Yeah, pasta.  Hubby and I both got soup and salad.  But of course my soup had pasta in it. And beans. Both of which are laden with carbs.  Oh well.  AND I did eat one bread stick.  I resisted when we had dinner with my son and his family recently, but I gave in and ate one this time.  My scales show it too. Up a pound.  Sigh.  Ever reach the point where you just say "I give up"?

I got 'crowned' yesterday.  Yeah, it was my dentist appointment to have the temporary removed and a 'real' crown put on.  I love this dentist.  I met him probably 20 years ago when he was a consultant with MCP.  When I found him here in our area, and we needed a dentist, I went to him.  His staff are terrific.  But I love how he tells me everything he is doing as he is doing it.  When giving me the shot to numb my mouth, he tells me what areas will be numbed, and to breathe deeply in through the nose and out the nose. It helps me to focus as he tells me to do it.  He even tells me when they are going to spray with the water or use air.  I love this guy!  I've had so much 'PTSD' with dentists that he does all he can to keep me calm. And he does.

Hubby left a bit ago for his bible study.  I'm enjoying being able to type without him coming in and me trying to 'hide' the blog.  He often asks if I still write in it, and I tell him the truth, that I do.  And time goes on.  A blog was set up for him shortly after I got mine set up, but he said he never knew what to write so has never written in it - that I know of.  I don't know if I could even find it now.  I'm sure you'd rather I didn't put so much ramblings and personal thoughts in here, but this has become, not what my original intent for it was, but my 'diary' of sorts, my life.  This is whom I am.  Scary, isn't it?  That I would own what I write.

I sat in my chair this morning and felt almost  - well, I don't know what I feel or felt.  I am getting stacks of books by my chair that I want to read.  A couple are devotionals that I am trying to put off until May 1st.  I finished a couple books this month (dang - got to remember to record in Goodreads!!) that I was reading bits of in the mornings.  Found a couple others that I want to read.  I don't have enough time in here to do all the reading I want to do.  I have been managing to read my Bible some in here, as well as several chapters at night before going to bed.  When I don't forget at night, that is.  Sometimes I'm so tired I don't remember.  But I did remember last night and was reading and my eyes kept closing so was in bed by 8:30PM as usual.

I slept good until 1:38AM.  What was going on at that time?  I have no idea.  For some reason I felt intensely afraid and started praying and quoting scripture and saying 'Fear is a liar' and 'Faith over fear' and calling out the name of Jesus in my mind.  I prayed over my boys, my daughter.  I prayed over hubby and myself. I don't know why I was awake in the mind, but it would not let me go back to sleep until after 3AM - and of course then my Apple watch tells me my battery is down to 10% and wakes me up.  I doze a bit, but was awake when hubby got up at 4:10AM and I followed.  No sense staying in bed - I was still awake. I wanted to go back to sleep in here, but did not.  Hubby brought my coffee and I started my reading and here I am on here.  With time running away from me, of course.  I may have to get a nap in sometime today.

Maybe I need to work on staying up later, and when I wake up, whenever it is, get up.  I'm so used to getting up at 4AM - but then again, sometimes it is 5AM.... maybe that is what I need to do.  I struggle some because I have so many things I want to get done - and only having a couple hours in the evening to complete them because we go to bed so early, my projects are piling up.  I can remember staying up to 11-12AM and still getting up at 5AM.  Perhaps I just need 5 hours of sleep, since that seems to be my average.  My body sometimes just shuts down in the evenings, but I think part of it is boredom and deep, deep ..... well, let's just leave that alone.   I need to figure out what works for me.  I struggle with incomplete projects and things not getting done.  It creates such a heaviness on me.  I work from home!  I shouldn't have unfinished projects for I gain 3 hours a day by not driving to and from work!  

Got a couple more books in yesterday from Thriftbooks.  If I see a book I want, I go there first for I can usually get it for $5 - $7 versus the $15-$18 on Amazon.  But hubby has started fussing at me about buying so many books.  What he doesn't realize as well is that I frequently will buy a couple extra of a book that I like and I give them as gifts to those I think will enjoy them.  Yes, cheap gift, used book, but the message is the same.  Old books may be yellowed some around the edges, but the words still speak truth.  

I'm really looking forward to hubby and my getaway in another week or so.  We will get a lot of reading done, as I've mentioned before.  In fact, I started one this morning that I need to put off and read while there; it isn't a devotional.  I don't plan to take a lot with me as we will only be there one full day.  I'm hoping things will go well.  I still need to figure out some sort of schedule and check in with the granddaughter.  So looking forward to seeing her and her little family.  If it was up to me, I'd be down there a lot more!  But I respect their time and space too, as I do my children.  I never have just 'dropped in' unexpectedly on them.  At some point, I hope they can feel free to do that with me. Long story, not going there.

Just brought up my work computer and skimmed emails.  Sigh. I need to order new computer equipment and screens for a new hire who will be remote in Utah.  NOT my favorite thing to do because my male boss doesn't give me a lot of information.  But, that will be my first task this morning as he starts the 28th and we need to get the computer sent to him by IT.  Parts of my job I'm not excited about and sometimes causes me stress.

The water contractors are back out front this morning - looks like some of the new pipes are leaking that they installed yesterday.  Oops.  One yard got flooded.  Which means the water bill will go up, even though the homeowner had nothing to do with it.  Always something.

Interesting, one of the things that came to my mind as I tossed and turned last night dealing with whatever was giving me a sense of 'fear'.... you know how I love/enjoy being alone at times... not always, as I've mentioned before... but at times.  If I lived alone, would I live in fear?  Interesting thought.  I used to not be afraid of anything, but hubby's fear of everything has caused me to be fearful of some things.  Never thought I'd be fearful of living alone.  That's where a dog will come in handy, right?  And maybe a kitten or two that I've never been able to have. LOL 

My big brother will turn 80 this year and was telling me last night that the doctor told him he is healthy and strong and mentally alert as a 60 year old.  My brother does keep very active, working on his house, planting a garden (which he is planting soon; they have been growing the plants in the back of the house), working on the cars, mowing the yard.  Of course he has been retired for years and his wife retired a couple years ago.  Why is it that I'm the only one in my family working??? What's wrong with this picture?  LOL

It should be a fairly quiet work day - I finished all my trainings yesterday (yay me!!), one boss is playing golf today in a company tournament (my male boss) for the children's hospital and the others aren't that busy.  Maybe I can work on the quilt and watch my emails.  After I get the computer ordered, of course, that has to be my priority this morning.

And yes, I've already fixed myself a second cup of coffee.  I've got nothing coming to mind, and it's after 7AM so I need to shut this down and focus on the work computer.  Lucky me. But then, I couldn't buy books if I wasn't working, right?  

Did I ever share that my dream growing up was to have a personal library with one room wall to wall books?  I won't have that for awhile, but I'm working on it.  LOL  I still want to put in author alphabetical order.  Maybe some time I can talk hubby in to helping me. Last time I was told I couldn't touch 'his office'!  Yet - 99% of these books I have purchased that are sitting on all the bookcases in 'his office'.  Ok - enough of that and I erased my sarcastic comments.

AND, I do need to get off here.  Hope you have an amazing day and do something you enjoy.

Blessings!

Alternating between cold and hot

 I think hubby forgot to turn the thermostat down last night as I woke up about 1:43AM and I was sweating!  I throw off the covers, but now I'm awake so my mind goes to the wildfires in California, and I begin praying for them along with whatever and whoever God brings to my mind.  I finally fall back to sleep until a little after 4AM and I go ahead and get up.  Hubby got up a few minutes later.  I like my room cold and I'm bundled under covers - I sleep so well then - but when I'm warm all over (and we don't have that many covers on the bed - just a sheet and a quilt - and I'm sweating, I can't sleep as well.  Well, I guess you could count my jammies as a cover, but they aren't flannel.  You needed to know all that, didn't you?

I'm on my second cup of coffee this morning already.  It's about time for Jentezen Franklin to come on with Free Chapel's first service and I will be turning it on shortly to watch.  We will watch the 2nd service together at 9AM on the TV.  I watch this one on my phone.  The devotional for day 8 of our fast is really good.  I'm going to try to post it here.  “Are You Seeking Him”,  Don't know if it will allow you to click in to it or not.  I can't get it to come up right now.  It's a good 6 minute message.

This is week two of our fast.  How is it going for me?  I can't speak for hubby, but for me... well, I think ok.  I did, as I think I have shared on here, stick to fruit and veggies for the first 5.5 days.  Why 5.5?  Because last night I fixed us chicken to go with the vegetables.  I felt I needed more protein and well, I added chicken to the meal; just one piece.  First meat I have eaten all week. I did cook breakfast yesterday and had eggs; forgot about that.  I made us veggie omelets.  Hubby gave me a compliment - he said that was the best veggie omelet he had eaten in a long time.  Could be for a couple reasons... 1) I cooked it.  2) It was full of onion, potatoes, broccoli, and I forget what else.  3) I didn't cook it in butter like most restaurants do so it was not greasy.  And it was full, and it was good.  Didn't fix meat; had yogurt with blueberries to go with the meal.  Very filling. Anyway - I am going to my BBCD as of today.  No beef; no bread; no chocolate; no desserts.  It is harder than you think when you are addicted to bread.  And I'm wanting to bake some bread now that I'm getting some sanity back from the holidays.  But will wait until after the fast, for I can assure you that I am going to eat it!  We really do not eat that much bread, but once in a while a sandwich or toast is good. And fresh-baked bread is the best!

Yesterday was a good day.  I didn't do all I wanted to but did some.  I took some things over to a granddaughter and got to visit with her for a few minutes before she headed off to work.  Hope to plan a 'grandma' day with her when she gets a Saturday off work.  This one is harder to make contact with.  After that visit I did end up at Sam's club.  Didn't do too bad there, really.  Bought more protein drinks that we like and a case of V-8 and a couple other things.  But I got out of the house for a couple hours, and that is a good thing. Still need to make a trip to Walmart probably to pick up seeds to put in my indoor garden.  Nothing is there right now and I like having fresh herbs to put in things.  

I got caught up on my Bible reading through the New Testament challenge last night and have already read what I need to for today.  Hubby left the TV off so that I could.  A cousin in Indiana touched base with me last night as well.  She had found some photos that she wanted to send me of my little brother, Buddy, who passed several years ago.  She is 'photo-cleaning' - which means she is cleaning out old photo albums that belonged to her grandmother, my Aunt Grace, who lived to 102 before she passed.  It would be interesting to see what photos she sends me, if any other than what she showed me.  I need to go through my albums and see if I have any of her mother, my cousin who passed not long ago, and my aunt, and send to her.  Sometimes my holding on to pictures will not mean anything to my children.  I need to give back to the families of those the photos are of.  Does that make sense?  I've wanted to do it for some time.  My children don't remember my aunts; the photos will mean nothing to them in the future.  Part of my 'letting go', right?

Psalm 106:15 (NKJV):  And He gave them their request; but sent leanness into their souls.

That verse, and the message with it, kind of spoke to me last night.  There are many things (at times) that I think I 'want'.  I find myself looking at things that I 'want'.  And then I tell myself "no".  Then I look again, and I say 'NO' to myself.  I don't NEED it.  WHY do I even want it? It will make no difference in my life.  I think this is probably not making sense to you.  But think about it this way.....

What is it that you think you 'need', but it is really a 'want'?  And if you NEED it, you will find a way to get it, I'm sure. But what do you do when it is just a want?  I have been getting all these advertisements from different stores with all their 'after Christmas' sales and I will think 'maybe I should go and check out what they have'.  But in reality, there is nothing I NEED, so what go buy something that I don't even know that I want?  Last week I went online to some stores and put things in the carts - and then changed the screen.  Later I went back and deleted it all. There is nothing I need and why buy something I'm going to put in the cabinet out in the garage?   Why should I ask God to give me my request for 'things' - when all I need is HIM?

Have you ever thought about that?   I know that God delights in giving me things that I ask for. I know He is overjoyed to provide for all that I need.  But one should be careful about what they ask for.  What are you going to do with what you are asking for?   Right now my request to God is to have a closer walk with Him.  He will grant that request - as long as I continue to seek Him and look to Him and pray to Him.  But I can't just tell Him that is the request I have - and then go off and do my own thing.

What are you doing about the requests you ask God for?  You ask for financial blessings; are you spending recklessly and not saving for those things that are needed?  You ask for healings, are you doing what you need to do in order to get well?  You can't get financially stable if you are spending all the time on things you don't need; you can't get healed if you don't take medication that will make you well. So often we ask and walk away.  What if - you take it to your knees?  What do I mean by that?

Take it to your knees.  Get on your knees in prayer and seek God for all things.  And in all things He will provide for you.  Don't let offenses keep you from seeking Him.  What God wants is a relationship with you.  Are you seeking a relationship with HIm?  Are you praying? Are you humbling yourself before Almighty God and allowing Him to provide all your needs?  It might be a novel thought - but what if you tried it?  What if you humbled yourself and ask Jesus to take over your life, and asked Him to direct your path?  You may be surprised what will happen.  Challenge?  Your call.

What are the greatest commandments?  Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your mind, with all your strength, and love your neighbor as yourself.  Devote yourself to prayer and see what God can do in and through you.

Blessings!