We had dinner with friends last night - and yes, I ate carbs. I wasn't too bad; I mean, I could have done a lot worse. We went to Olive Garden. Yeah, pasta. Hubby and I both got soup and salad. But of course my soup had pasta in it. And beans. Both of which are laden with carbs. Oh well. AND I did eat one bread stick. I resisted when we had dinner with my son and his family recently, but I gave in and ate one this time. My scales show it too. Up a pound. Sigh. Ever reach the point where you just say "I give up"?
I got 'crowned' yesterday. Yeah, it was my dentist appointment to have the temporary removed and a 'real' crown put on. I love this dentist. I met him probably 20 years ago when he was a consultant with MCP. When I found him here in our area, and we needed a dentist, I went to him. His staff are terrific. But I love how he tells me everything he is doing as he is doing it. When giving me the shot to numb my mouth, he tells me what areas will be numbed, and to breathe deeply in through the nose and out the nose. It helps me to focus as he tells me to do it. He even tells me when they are going to spray with the water or use air. I love this guy! I've had so much 'PTSD' with dentists that he does all he can to keep me calm. And he does.
Hubby left a bit ago for his bible study. I'm enjoying being able to type without him coming in and me trying to 'hide' the blog. He often asks if I still write in it, and I tell him the truth, that I do. And time goes on. A blog was set up for him shortly after I got mine set up, but he said he never knew what to write so has never written in it - that I know of. I don't know if I could even find it now. I'm sure you'd rather I didn't put so much ramblings and personal thoughts in here, but this has become, not what my original intent for it was, but my 'diary' of sorts, my life. This is whom I am. Scary, isn't it? That I would own what I write.
I sat in my chair this morning and felt almost - well, I don't know what I feel or felt. I am getting stacks of books by my chair that I want to read. A couple are devotionals that I am trying to put off until May 1st. I finished a couple books this month (dang - got to remember to record in Goodreads!!) that I was reading bits of in the mornings. Found a couple others that I want to read. I don't have enough time in here to do all the reading I want to do. I have been managing to read my Bible some in here, as well as several chapters at night before going to bed. When I don't forget at night, that is. Sometimes I'm so tired I don't remember. But I did remember last night and was reading and my eyes kept closing so was in bed by 8:30PM as usual.
I slept good until 1:38AM. What was going on at that time? I have no idea. For some reason I felt intensely afraid and started praying and quoting scripture and saying 'Fear is a liar' and 'Faith over fear' and calling out the name of Jesus in my mind. I prayed over my boys, my daughter. I prayed over hubby and myself. I don't know why I was awake in the mind, but it would not let me go back to sleep until after 3AM - and of course then my Apple watch tells me my battery is down to 10% and wakes me up. I doze a bit, but was awake when hubby got up at 4:10AM and I followed. No sense staying in bed - I was still awake. I wanted to go back to sleep in here, but did not. Hubby brought my coffee and I started my reading and here I am on here. With time running away from me, of course. I may have to get a nap in sometime today.
Maybe I need to work on staying up later, and when I wake up, whenever it is, get up. I'm so used to getting up at 4AM - but then again, sometimes it is 5AM.... maybe that is what I need to do. I struggle some because I have so many things I want to get done - and only having a couple hours in the evening to complete them because we go to bed so early, my projects are piling up. I can remember staying up to 11-12AM and still getting up at 5AM. Perhaps I just need 5 hours of sleep, since that seems to be my average. My body sometimes just shuts down in the evenings, but I think part of it is boredom and deep, deep ..... well, let's just leave that alone. I need to figure out what works for me. I struggle with incomplete projects and things not getting done. It creates such a heaviness on me. I work from home! I shouldn't have unfinished projects for I gain 3 hours a day by not driving to and from work!
Got a couple more books in yesterday from Thriftbooks. If I see a book I want, I go there first for I can usually get it for $5 - $7 versus the $15-$18 on Amazon. But hubby has started fussing at me about buying so many books. What he doesn't realize as well is that I frequently will buy a couple extra of a book that I like and I give them as gifts to those I think will enjoy them. Yes, cheap gift, used book, but the message is the same. Old books may be yellowed some around the edges, but the words still speak truth.
I'm really looking forward to hubby and my getaway in another week or so. We will get a lot of reading done, as I've mentioned before. In fact, I started one this morning that I need to put off and read while there; it isn't a devotional. I don't plan to take a lot with me as we will only be there one full day. I'm hoping things will go well. I still need to figure out some sort of schedule and check in with the granddaughter. So looking forward to seeing her and her little family. If it was up to me, I'd be down there a lot more! But I respect their time and space too, as I do my children. I never have just 'dropped in' unexpectedly on them. At some point, I hope they can feel free to do that with me. Long story, not going there.
Just brought up my work computer and skimmed emails. Sigh. I need to order new computer equipment and screens for a new hire who will be remote in Utah. NOT my favorite thing to do because my male boss doesn't give me a lot of information. But, that will be my first task this morning as he starts the 28th and we need to get the computer sent to him by IT. Parts of my job I'm not excited about and sometimes causes me stress.
The water contractors are back out front this morning - looks like some of the new pipes are leaking that they installed yesterday. Oops. One yard got flooded. Which means the water bill will go up, even though the homeowner had nothing to do with it. Always something.
Interesting, one of the things that came to my mind as I tossed and turned last night dealing with whatever was giving me a sense of 'fear'.... you know how I love/enjoy being alone at times... not always, as I've mentioned before... but at times. If I lived alone, would I live in fear? Interesting thought. I used to not be afraid of anything, but hubby's fear of everything has caused me to be fearful of some things. Never thought I'd be fearful of living alone. That's where a dog will come in handy, right? And maybe a kitten or two that I've never been able to have. LOL
My big brother will turn 80 this year and was telling me last night that the doctor told him he is healthy and strong and mentally alert as a 60 year old. My brother does keep very active, working on his house, planting a garden (which he is planting soon; they have been growing the plants in the back of the house), working on the cars, mowing the yard. Of course he has been retired for years and his wife retired a couple years ago. Why is it that I'm the only one in my family working??? What's wrong with this picture? LOL
It should be a fairly quiet work day - I finished all my trainings yesterday (yay me!!), one boss is playing golf today in a company tournament (my male boss) for the children's hospital and the others aren't that busy. Maybe I can work on the quilt and watch my emails. After I get the computer ordered, of course, that has to be my priority this morning.
And yes, I've already fixed myself a second cup of coffee. I've got nothing coming to mind, and it's after 7AM so I need to shut this down and focus on the work computer. Lucky me. But then, I couldn't buy books if I wasn't working, right?
Did I ever share that my dream growing up was to have a personal library with one room wall to wall books? I won't have that for awhile, but I'm working on it. LOL I still want to put in author alphabetical order. Maybe some time I can talk hubby in to helping me. Last time I was told I couldn't touch 'his office'! Yet - 99% of these books I have purchased that are sitting on all the bookcases in 'his office'. Ok - enough of that and I erased my sarcastic comments.
AND, I do need to get off here. Hope you have an amazing day and do something you enjoy.
Blessings!
