I remember why I work....

 and it's not just for the money.  It's for me to keep my sanity.  One may dream of being free of the stress of work, but taking one (or more) days off occasionally will remind you completely of why you do work.  And I'm glad I have a job.  In having one day (thus far) of no work; I think back to when I took that year off and wonder why I did not learn my lesson then.  Ah, yes, we got out and walked 10+ miles - we had a goal. We had something to do.  But, going back to yesterday.  It started out good.

Hubby went to his bible study.  I finished up in here and decided to put my hoodies and the dishtowels that were growing on top of the washing INTO the washer and get them washed. Novel thought, right?  Then I washed the tablecloth and runner that was on the table, gearing up for the Christmas dinners.  I put the dishes away in the dishwasher. I cleaned off the countertops things that we had left on them. I swept and mopped the kitchen floor. I put the table/chairs away I had set up for Thursday games.  I sat down and took a ten minute nap.  Then hubby came home.  Sigh. The dryer was going.  He comments.

"Now what am I going to do?"  I just looked at him and told him what I had washed; I had not done the laundry (which he considers his job).   We left to go feed the cats at the daughter's and come back home. I need to run the dryer again for my hoodies are still damp.  He grabs the towels from the bathrooms and a few of his things and throws in the washer.  In a little bit I hear him start up the dryer, thinking he turned it on for my hoodies.  No, and yes.  He put the towels and the things he had just washed ON TOP of my hoodies and dried them all together.  When I hear the dryer shut off I go to get my hoodies and find all these towels and things in with them.  I asked him why didn't he take my hoodies and the dishtowels OUT of the dryer before he put his load of laundry in there, rather than throwing them on top of my things and drying all together..... deer in headlight look.  I just walked away.

Annoyed I was.  I sewed a bit. I took a 30 minute nap. He listened to things on his phone and read a little. I was B-O-R-E-D.  I told him I was going to Home Depot.  What for? What was I going to get?  I decided not to go.  "Would you go if I wasn't going with you?" By that time I couldn't even remember what I was thinking about looking at!  I should have gone - they had poinsettias 2/$2.50 yesterday!! But, by then I was really annoyed because 1) all the questions as to why and 2) he was sticking to me much closer than I wanted.  It was too early in the season to bake cookies for I don't like to freeze those, but give fresh.  I got up from the couch about 4:30 and heated up leftovers for dinner.  He did say thanks for heating it up.  erase erase.

And that is why I work.  Most boring day ever.  Except when I could do things freely about the house. And I enjoyed being able to clean and mop and put things away!  I did not put the tree up on the porch like I wanted. It's still in the box.  The joy I had in thinking about it has disappeared. Maybe I'll make it to home depot today and purchase a small fir tree to use. I still want a 'wishing tree', although I'd be standing there all the time making wishes. sigh.

I got distracted this morning before getting in the blog.  I paid a couple bills online and then checked Macy's to see if I had a balance.. I didn't then, but do now.  I checked Kohls to see if I had a balance.  I didn't then but I do now.  I decided I need to wait about checking any more.  haha.  I need to get the grandchildren at least one gift!  This has been a tough year for thinking of things. Sleep pants and maybe shirts will be it. I don't know. Maybe I will just make them all a batch of cookies and give them in tins. Yeah - that sounds like a good idea - they are all pretty much on their own, and we know the boys aren't baking - so why not?  I think that is a great idea. Now I need to think of what to bake - closer to Christmas, of course, and what to put them in to keep.  I need to buy tins. :-)  

Philippians 1:27-30 (NKJV):  Only let your conduct be worthy of the gospel of Christ, so that whether I come see you or am absent, I may hear of your affairs, that you stand fast in one spirit, with one mind striving together for the faith of the gospel, and not in any way terrified by your adversaries, which is to them a proof of perdition, but to you of salvation, and that from God. For to you it has been granted on behalf of Christ, not only to believe in Him, but also to suffer for His sake, having the same conflict which you saw in me and now hear is in me.

No matter what we go through, our conduct, our attitude, is to be like Jesus.  Some days it is extremely hard, as you know.  Many times my mind is screaming words I will never speak because I know it would be cruel and demeaning, whether it is the truth or not.  It does make one pause, does it not, and wonder why it is so easy for some people to say 'what is on their mind' (remember, out of the heart the mouth speaks!!) and not check themselves to see if it is kind, encouraging, true, noble, trustworthy.  When some people say what is on their mind, it is a crushing blow to those on the other end listening to what is being said.  Doesn't matter if it is a child, a sibling, or a parent or a friend.  Treat each one with how you would want to be treated.  Love each one as you want to be loved - even the unlovable.  We don't know what each one is going through.   

I don't say things in here to put people down; at least that is not my intent.  I don't put words that will hurt someone - not intentionally anyway.  Sometimes I am writing things that are on my mind; sometimes they may hurt and I need to 'get them out'.  Some times it may just be I need a release of feelings and emotions because the pain is so great I don't want it to overflow into real life. Does that make sense?   I use this space freely, and it shares more of me than my having a conversation with someone.  And even in here, at times I hold back, for I never want someone to feel unloved and unwanted in my life. 

Ah... this is the third time I have heard hubby pace by this door.  I suppose, since it is almost 9AM, that I need to get off here and fix him breakfast (or he is waiting for me to come out to offer to take me to breakfast.  What should I do? Save money and cook breakfast?  Or let him take me out - and go by home depot and get my 'whisper tree' and poinsettias?  Decisions, decisions.  Either way, I do need to get up and change out of my warm jammies and put real clothes on. 

Changing how this day will evolve is up to me.  I do have messages I need to get started on. I need to call my little sister today and catch up, I need to buy more wrapping paper, I .... can find things to do and not sit and be bored all day today again.  Other than the football game, hubby left the TV off yesterday - amazing.  $10 says it will be on today!  And we will probably watch movies tonight - at least I'm choosing Christmas movies off Up Faith and Family and he doesn't complain.

In the meantime- hope you have an amazing day.

Blessings!

Taking time to scan...

 Yeah, I've taken time this morning so took some time to scan stores that I sometimes purchase from. Curious to see what they are pushing this Black Friday.  Saw nothing that interest me personally, or for anyone else. In fact, I have no clue what anyone else would want - except my oldest son.  He is actually the easiest one to buy for - "mom, I want snacks. Beef Jerky. etc." and that makes at least one gift easy.  The others, not so much.  I have to guess at sizes and guess at likes and dislikes, wants and no wants.  It is really rather tiring. Twenty years ago shopping was much more fun; the little ones wanted anything that would bring them joy - and there was plenty of toys to do that! But now, they are grown and on their own pretty much, and they have all they want.  It does make it quite difficult.  It takes a lot of the joy of Christmas away for me, although I still love having everyone come over for a meal.

Speaking of a meal, yesterday's Thanksgiving meal was a win, I feel.  It all came together perfectly and we had so much food to eat - and so much food left over.  Well, maybe not enough turkey left over - which really surprised me, for that was a big bird!).  DIL took what she could off the bone so she could make my son turkey enchiladas.  I obviously made way much of mashed potatoes, and even I kept some, sending some home with the son and a grandson as well.  I want to look up the mashed potato candy that my mother in law used to make - it is so rich and so good.  I could experiment on my own, but why ruin good mashed potatoes, right?  I remember she colored them pink and green and white and one could not eat more than a couple for they were so sweet.  I wonder if it is powdered sugar mixed in with the mashed potatoes.  Stay tuned if I can find the recipe over the next few days.

Another thing we can do with left over mashed potatoes - and my mother used to do this - add an egg to the mashed potatoes (although you don't have to) and mix well.  Then form patties of the mashed potatoes and fry in oil.  Mama always called them potato pancakes.  To me it was more like fried mashed potatoes. LOL Regardless, frying them (like frying leftover cornbread) gives them a whole new taste and are so good.  Why am I still talking about food?  LOL  We did not eat dinner last night after eating such a big meal at lunchtime - although hubby did eat potato chips and me pretzels about 7PM.  We ended up watching a couple movies last night before heading to bed.

And here I could sleep in a bit this morning.... and I'm wide awake at 3:30AM.  Sigh.  Yes, I came in here and tried to go back to sleep, but could not. Hubby woke up when I got up, but dozed until after 5PM when he finally got up.  Not sure what he was doing; he didn't bring me my coffee until about 5:30AM!  What's up with that?  And then he commented on 'why did you get up at 3:30AM?'  Should I have responded I wanted to run a marathon?  Why does ANYone get up at 3:30AM except they are wide awake?

As I was listening to ads on the news last night of all the 'black Friday sales' that are going on today, they were reminding everyone that we somehow have 'lost' 5 days before Christmas because Thanksgiving came late this year.  In reality, is that true?  Thanksgiving is ALWAYS the 4th Thursday in November.  Christmas is ALWAYS the 25th of December.  Same number of days... ok - so people are saying Thanksgiving was a week late due to the falling of the 4th Thursday - but it is really the same number of days.  Since when do we let media tell us how we should shop?  I have been shopping for Christmas gifts for months and have the majority under the trees (I hope).  I still have orders coming in so I'm going to quit online shopping for awhile and see what I've ordered.  Thank goodness I've been writing things down as I've wrapped (unfortunately not as I shopped and ordered).  I will have a few last minute things to purchase from Sam's Club but that's no biggie.  I love the scan and go - so I can go in the store, pick up what I want, scan it, and walk out the door - no standing in line.  The only 'problem' would be is if they are out of what I want to purchase. And if they are, no biggie on that either.

 Everything is overpriced anymore anyway.  Do you agree? I'm thinking for the grandchildren - because they are so hard to buy for - I may fix up a 'goodie box' of things I like to make.  Or maybe just make up a tin of cookies for them as a second gift.  The first one is always a piece of clothing.  What else can I get them? And I have to guess on sizes for they don't tell me anything.  I've ordered what I thought they could wear.  My children have gotten harder to buy for over the years too.  Like me, there is nothing they need.  Potted poinsettia plants work for me; I still want to plant some up next to the house and hope they survive the summer heat.  I plan to go to Home Depot - not today of all days - but maybe Sunday, and pick up some poinsettias - I want to put in my pots on the stands in the courtyard.  They are empty and bare right now.  I had other ideas before, but they fell by the wayside.  

I still have my 'wish tree' I want to put together and my intent was to do it this morning while hubby is at his Bible study.  I don't need his comments and flack.  But the excitement I felt about doing it has kind of ebbed.  I want joy and happiness and fun and all that to fill the holidays.  Today I feel like I'm struggling to come up for air, and I don't know why. Must be my controlling attitude, you think?  Do I feel 'out of control' and that is putting on the heaviness in my heart?  Have I lost my Joy?  Why do I always feel that the silly, fun things I want to do will be shot down and ridiculed by others?  I want to see grandchildren laughing and the great-grands giggling as they come to our house.  I want joy to fill every room.  What is going on with me - this range of emotions this morning?  I long so much for what we had when the grandchildren were little and coming over for cookie baking and watching Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer or Frosty the Snowman; Miracle on 34th Street; It's a Wonderful Life; White Christmas.... and so many other Christmas movies I love.  I should put one on this morning while hubby is gone, maybe that will help me out of my downward emotion.  What is going on? 

Psalm 136:1,26 (NKJV)  Oh, give thanks to the Lord, for He is good!  His mercy endures forever!

And because of His mercy enduring forever, I am forever grateful.  His mercy is for me, and for you. I seek His mercy every day, for only He is good and only He can rescue me.  Some of you may know that feeling.  He finds that 'lost one' and brings them home.  Granted, my life has not been what I wish it would have; based on choices I made.  And that's what happens to many of us. We get focused on what was (sigh, my comments above), and push past what is, longing for the past.  The times have changed - times of when we had to dress up to go to church (using that as an example); to where the youth wear whatever they feel like wearing.  I'm in that 'boomer' area, I think, being born in 1949.  I still like to dress up to go to church on Sunday mornings - dresses and heels.  I feel most comfortable dressing that way on Sunday mornings.  But, I can go to church on Saturday and dress in jeans and tennis shoes and feel perfectly fine about it.  And it doesn't matter to Jesus.  All He desires is that we come to Him.  He wants us right where we are, and He will give us the mercies we need as we seek Him.

So many times people become 'saved'; meaning they accept Jesus into their lives - but they don't allow Him to be Lord.  Does that make sense?  As adults we have failed, even as Christian adults, because we have given our children a HEAD knowledge of God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit.  But we haven't given them a HEART knowledge of Him.  They don't know Him as Lord.  There is a big difference.  I had a head knowledge of God growing up - that was it - so it was easy to do my own thing in my early 20's and 30's.  Then I found myself in another generation; one before mine, and loving life hasn't been quite as much fun.  The dreams I had of love and laughter and good times in my waning years have nearly faded away; they only remain in my heart.  Ah... there are the emotions again.  What is going on with me today.  I think I need to just give this writing up and get dressed, and see what I can bake today. Baking and doing things to give to others always brings me joy.  I may work on that tree; but something is holding me back and I don't know what.  Does someone need a 4 ft Christmas tree this year?  I would give this one to them.  Is that why I'm holding back.

Ok - I'm going to make myself some hot chocolate with marshmallows and get dressed.  Hope that you don't overspend today (black Friday) and enjoy the weekend.

Blessings!

Take time to be thankful

 We all tend to get so busy with 'life' that we forget to be thankful for what we have.  Do you agree with that statement?  Think about it.  When was the last time you thanked God for providing for you?  When was the last time you thanked your spouse for being there for you when you needed them?  When was the last time.... well,  you can fill in the blank.  Today is about being thankful - it's Thanksgiving!  And soon the 'giving Sunday; the giving Tuesday' or whatever day it's going to be - will happen.  People may depend on those days... but I doubt if any of us are 'thankful' for them. LOL Why did that come to mind?  I had a couple for 'Giving Sunday' in my email this morning!  And no, I don't necessarily 'give' on those days.  (Don't tell me what to do!!).  If I want to donate to a charity, I will do it regardless of what day it is.  I suppose for some people it just needs to be a reminder.  I have gotten selective over the years to whom I donate to.  Sure, we wish we had money galore that we could donate to any and everyone needy - but unfortunately, that is not the case.  We donate where we can, and what we can to whom we choose.  And we are thankful that we are able to give to others in need.  God has been good to us.

My mind seems to be all over the place this morning already.  I got up at 4AM because I wanted to spend time in here without rushing, and I still need to leave 'early' so that I can get my large roasting pan out of the cabinet in the garage (should have done it last night - and didn't) and get it ready for the turkey - and get the turkey ready to be put into it.  Then it's just waiting on that one!  Once it is on, the rest is a 'piece of cake' to pull together.  My son will be here between 9:30-10AM he said to start on his dessert.  I didn't buy any other dessert - we can enjoy his!  I made the deviled eggs yesterday so they just need to be put together and on a dish, which can be done later.  I will peel potatoes once the turkey is on and get it ready to go on the stove.  I probably should write down a list of what we are having; it seems I always forget something until we are eating - or afterwards!  Looking forward to having this family over and being a part of their lives.

Hubby said something to me last night that I will admit - it hurt.  It truly caught me off guard.  I didn't argue with him, I just shut up.  Yes, there were comebacks I wanted to throw back at him in my defense, but I did not.  But his comment stung.  As I share this, I am working through his comment; not to put him down, but I need to get it 'out there' to open my eyes to see what is true or not.  After working out we went to Kneaders nearby; hubby insisted on driving last night to the gym (usually he has me drive) so I told him he had to choose.  Good choice, although they didn't have my fudge brownies.  We both got a salad and went to sit down.  I don't even remember what was said by hubby, but it was something that hit me wrong, and I looked out the window and said "I don't want to be here; let's go home."  He retorted that we had placed the order and we were staying  - and here's the part that stung - "You are too controlling and someone told me recently that you are controlling, and I am not going to tell you who it was!"  I was so caught off guard by that comment that I shut down.  Devastated that someone would say that about me; that he would say that about me.

So I have pondered since that time, am I controlling?  I've asked God to reveal to me the areas in which I do that.  I know that in some areas I may seem 'controlling' because someone must make a decision and go with it - and that is usually me in some areas.  In my mind I want to scream at him that if I am controlling, I would have told him to get off his lazy butt and get a job 17 years ago when he refused to work because he was 70.  So here I am at 75 and he refuses to allow me to even entertain retirement!  I want to remind him that if I was controlling that I would demand the checkbook back from him - the one I threw at him when he refused to work and told him to figure out how to pay the bills (and that is when I got my own checking account cause I couldn't trust him to pay my bills on time).  But I'm the one who is controlling?   Ok - I'm stopping on this subject... but it still stings and hurts what he said. He asked later last night if we could call a 'truce' - I'm not sure what that was to be a truce about; I just wasn't talking.  If he asked a question, I responded.  But I was depleted of any emotion.  I went to bed at 7:30PM as I felt exhausted.  But he had to turn the bed down for me first.  (now who is controlling?)  I know that at some point when he begins to give me his 'opinions' of how things should be, I will let loose with a 'now who is trying to be controlling' and start an argument about it.  Sigh.  My life in a nutshell.  (erase erase)  I'm trusting God, and allowing God, to have control over my tongue and attitude.  I certainly can't do it by myself!  

I went through a box of decorations yesterday afternoon and laid some on the kitchen table.  I was asked "why are these on the table?"  To which I responded "Because I haven't put them somewhere else yet."  Of course I am the smart alec.  Does it really matter? we were going out, not eating at the table.  Yeah, I need to move those this morning as well.  Did get the majority of the boxes taken to the garage.  Yeah, the decorating and all is my job unless he wants to interfere (remember the putting up of the Christmas tree?) and 'help'.  I recently told him he better hope I don't die first for he won't have a clue what to do about anything. 

My daughter and family made it to New Mexico yesterday in good time.  Grateful and thankful they arrived safely.  Still am glad we opted not to make the trip (could that be what I'm controlling about? That I felt we shouldn't go sit in a car for 10 hours one way so that hubby won't be restricted due to the shunt in his leg? Is it MY controlling attitude that said no?)  I still think it was a wise decision to stay home - and because we are, I get to spend the day with my oldest son and his family, which we haven't done in a long time.  I think I'm a winner.

Colossians 3:15 (NKJV):  And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which you also were called in one body, and be thankful.

Take some time this morning and think about what you are thankful for.  You awoke this morning, right?  Be thankful.  You got a cup of coffee or water to drink.  Be thankful.  You have family or friends to see today.  Be thankful.  Your car starts.  Be thankful.  There will be plenty of food to eat - and leftovers!  Be thankful.  There are so many things that we can be thankful for.  But the most important to be thankful for is that God loves us so much that He gave His one and only Son to be our sacrifice, that Jesus would take all the sins in our lives and nail them to the cross.  And even better, they remember them no more.  No matter if we ask forgiveness, and they come back to our minds, God has forgiven and remembers them no more - as far as the east is from the west.  

Thankful to the One who rescued me from my pits of despair and continuously draws me to Him.  I will be forever grateful and thankful to God, my Father, to Jesus, my Brother, and to the Holy Spirit, my Comforter.

Peace to you; may your blessings overflow today.

Sleeping in late....

 I didn't awake until about 5:30AM this morning - an hour and a half later than usual.  And, I woke up with a really bad headache; didn't I hear there was a big storm going to hit 8 states in different ways?  I think hubby was talking about it yesterday.  The headache was bad enough that although I didn't take anything for it, I did ask God to heal my head, and praise Him, the pain is ebbing away.  

Speaking of healing... it hasn't yet.  My bug bites.  Did I mention yesterday they were 'still there' and occasionally I would get pin pricks?  Well, I don't usually go around looking at the inside of my leg, but yesterday I did - and one of the bumps looked like it had a pimple white head on it.  And there was about 1/2 inch or so redness around it.  After a restless night last night and weird alien thoughts, I wasn't happy about seeing it.  I did take a photo of what it looked like and I called my doctor's office.  Unfortunately, she nor any of the doctors in her group have any availability until week after next.  People are getting in for their year end physicals and other things.  I finally told the sweet person who was trying to help me (she even offered to send my doctor a message that I needed to see her and see if she could fit me in) that I would keep an eye on the spot and if it continued to grow, I would go to the ER.  My dermatologist had told me to not go to Urgent Care (for something like this) for there is nothing they could do as they don't know how to deal with skin issues. So I do see my dermatologist on Tuesday morning and if I get a chance (which I doubt), I will ask him about this.  If the redness continues to grow, I will go to the ER.  And yes, I was googling yesterday to see what bug buries itself in skin and lays eggs - for seriously, that is what it has felt like these past six weeks!!  Like I'm a human incubator!!   I haven't checked this morning.  Nor have I told hubby.  Could you imagine his (over) reaction?  He is so afraid something will happen to me.

I am guessing that today will be a fairly quiet day as it is the day before Thanksgiving.  With my male boss working yesterday, I had plenty of work to do.  But, I also had the opportunity to get the dressing started for my daughter to take on their trip today.  As much as we both love our grandson in New Mexico, we are glad not to be making this long trip cooped up in a car for over 9 hours.  I am sure they will make stops, but wanting to get there will stretch out those stops at times and pee breaks won't be that frequent, unless critical - and then you have to find a place to stop.  Naw... I'd rather go when we have plenty of time to get there with maybe an overnight stay in the middle somewhere.  Just saying.   They were to be on the road about an hour and a half ago.  Ah - checking Life 360 they are still south of Flagstaff about 45 minutes.  At least they are on the road.  Lord, please grant travel mercies.

Hmmm between my headache and all my thinking... my BP is up a bit this morning.  It's 132/81.  I'll wait a few minutes and see if it will come down.  I love this tracker I have on my phone.  My BP cup is from Hello Heart and through their app on my phone, whenever I take my BP, it will track it on the app.  I don't do it every day, but it helps me identify when my stress level is up.  I'll take it again in a minute or two and see where it goes. Instructions also say that if you empty your bladder, take a few deep breaths and keep your feet flat on the floor, you will get a more accurate reading.  I'll come back to this.  Well, that didn't work.  It went up to 132/83.  Ok, a few more deep breaths.  Maybe it's these bug bites and my concern there.  It's little things that can raise the BP up, right?  

I'm still excited my son and some of his family is coming over for Thanksgiving tomorrow - and even more excited that I get to cook for them.  Of course I'm praying the food will all be good!!  He and I will touch base sometime today and get a time set up.  I did buy an Uzzle game for the 'younger ones' to play while dinner is being prepared.  Today I need to clear out the back room where the bags of Christmas decorations are still setting out.  Thinking I will set up the card table in there so that they can play games.  I'm afraid they will be bored, but that's what happens when you go to an 'older adult's house' - right?  At least the food will be good!!

This will be short today - results of my getting up late. Had to cut back on my reading as well this morning.  7AM comes too early when I oversleep and it's a workday.  But then, after today, I'm off until next Wednesday!  And things going just about each day, I'm afraid.  But that's ok too.  I need a break from work.  Will really only be working one day next week.  Monday I'm off because why go back for one day then take off the 2nd day (my biopsy which is nothing), and then work a day, then drive down for a lunch (losing 4 hours total), then another day off to enjoy the Christmas house with my boss.  It's going to be a good week. :-)  At least for me.

Ah - this is more like it!  Since I've sat here, with feet on floor, taking deep breaths and when taking my BP holding my arm.... my BP is down to 120/77 - and my pulse is 59.  My trainer can't believe my resting heart rate is so low.  She does manage to get it up as high as 130, depending on the exercise I'm doing.  

And - with all this nothingness, I need to get off and fire up the work computer as I have two minutes to get online.     See what happens when I sleep late?  

Have an awesome day - 

Blessings!

Issues with work stuff...

 I did not get much done for work yesterday, although my intent was to do so.  Microsoft had (or still has) problems and even though they did two 'quick fixes', whatever is wrong didn't get fixed.  I tried to schedule appointments and end some series and start new ones - and it started doubling the meetings and wouldn't end the series.  So I quit doing that project.  With my male boss out yesterday, and only receiving one meeting from my favorite boss, I just didn't do much else.  I could have done the minutes from the board meeting, I'm thinking, but I can't remember why I put it off.  I think I started to, then got involved in a conversation with my sister, who had called me.  I got the distinct feeling that if I have anything to do with her feud with her 'former' friend (daughter of her best friend), it would end our 'friendship'.  No I haven't reached out to this person, but she sent me a text yesterday with a photo and said she had made these things for my sister, and now all the leftover supplies are missing.  That's all she said.  I know she has accused (per my super sensitive sister) my sister of taking things from her house and other things to where my sister has blocked her.  I'm not involved in that nor do I plan to be.  Some things don't add up, but I'll leave that there.  Anyway - after getting that photo and the text.... I just typed 'I'm sorry'.  What else could I say?  What the ex-friend did not realize is that she had chosen a text that had my little sister attached to it.  Do we say 'oops'?   I never noticed; but because she was blocked on my sister's phone, and I wasn't (yet), the post came up on her phone that I posted 'I'm sorry'.  My sister txt'd me, and I didn't read it so she called me and demanded to know what I was telling this person I was sorry about.  And then got to hear some of the issues again.  I'm not involved in that. And I told her that I am sorry this person is missing things - regardless of who she is accusing.   

Hubby survived his first training session with my trainer and has another one at 7:30AM this morning. Morgan said he started in on that he couldn't do squats, etc. and she told him she has a master's degree in whatever it is she needs to do this, and she had notes from his trainer, plus I had told her of his issues, so he settled down.  She did legs.  Tee hee.  She made him push the sled.  But she also complimented him that at 87 he has a lot of strength (and he does) and he is stronger that many men his age.  That boosted his ego some, as it does mine when she tells me 'for my age' I am pretty strong.  

I suppose I need to physically check what I have on hand to make everything for Thursday.  My oldest son has supplied everything they are contributing - which is nearly everything.  I need to double check to make sure I have what I need for my part.  I need to make dressing today for my daughter to take home tonight so that it can go on their trip in the morning to New Mexico, and I plan to cut up everything (my contribution) but they need to put together and add the turkey broth to it.  As I do that, I can see what else I need to have, at least for that and the gravy.  My son said he was doing a run to the store this morning so if I needed anything, he would get it for me.  Grateful.  

It's hard to believe this is the end of November (this week).  I have Thursday and Friday off, then I'm taking Monday and Tuesday off next week, working Wednesday, have a company Christmas luncheon on Thursday (for which I need to take a couple gifts and cookies for the potluck) so that day is a non-work type day, and then I'm off on Friday to go to the Christmas Idea House with my favorite boss. It's an annual thing (about six years now!) and she considers it part of my Christmas gift as she buys the tickets for us to have brunch (about $60 each!) and then we shop.  Sunday starts December - time is still flying by! and Monday I'm having lunch with my 'oldest best' friend Melonie, and will take her some bread and jam for Christmas, plus a gift I have for her.  Tuesday I have an early appointment with the dermatologist to do a biopsy on the back of my neck.  It's so little I hope he can find it.  A busy week, but most will be play.  Then the mad rush to get everything done as time that has flown by all year will continue to fly by.   I still have so many gifts to purchase!  Most of the adults don't have anything yet - I know they don't care, but I do.  

I didn't sleep well last night.  Talk about imagining weird things.  Remember the bug bites I got back in October?  The redness went away, the itching stopped, the pain stopped.  I don't normally look at the inside of my leg but I felt something there a few days ago so looked at it - and discovered the 'bite bumps' are still there.  They have never faded into the skin.  Is that odd?  I think so.  Anyway, over the past week, there have been a couple times that I have felt a 'pin prick' in that are.  I shrug it off.  But it woke me (again) during the night last night with that 'pin prick' that I felt when I got bit.  This morning it is burning somewhat.  But anyway, during the dark night, because I refused to open my eyes and turn on a light to check, weird thoughts came to my mind.  Did the bug that bit me numerous times bury eggs in my skin and the eggs are 'hatching' their way out?  I told you it was weird!!  All these stupid, crazy thoughts ran through my head and kept me awake last night - and I still refused to get up and look! I will check it out this morning as it is still feeling weird in that area.  Could be I'm overthinking it, you think?  I have been thinking that I may go to my medical doctor and have her check it.  That was thought last week because I have been awakened with sharp left him pain and pain radiating down my thigh - and one night in to the calf muscles.  That left hip pain and the pain radiating down my thigh was what started the night I got bit and woke me up, besides the bites I mean.  Is there a connection?  I don't know.  But with the bites not going away and the hip/thigh pain continuing on occasion, it does make me wonder if I need to have a medical doctor take a look.  Urgent care doctor said scorpion bites and didn't do anything but give me a 10 day prescription.  The dermatologist looked at it; took photos; and gave me a 7 day prescription to take along with the first one, giving me instructions if infection spread to go to ER.  The follow-up visit he gave me another 5 day prescription and a cream to help with itching.  But what happens now?  It's six weeks later and some things are still happening. Is it time to go to my PCP and break my once a year visit?  Could be.  I may stall a bit yet.  All of this is weird, right?

I finished the one quilt I was making, and got started on another last night.  I tried to calculate that if I work on it steadily for the next week, I should get this one finished, and then there are two small ones for the new great-grandbabies... but since neither will come until next year, I am not beating myself up to get them finished as well before Christmas.  I'd like to get one of them done, but it isn't critical. What I wanted to get done is finished.  I goofed on it and make the trim on it wrong, but when I discovered it, I just couldn't take it out and do it over.  I never have made anything perfectly perfect... I try to, don't get me wrong.  But, alas, the mistakes are my trademarks, I think.  Sigh.

I Thessalonians 5:18 (NKJV):  in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

In everything give thanks.  Do you ever think to give thanks for the difficult times in your life?  Probably not.  It's difficult to be grateful for things that cause grief or problems.  But we need to take our eyes off the circumstances, off the inconveniences, off the problems, and thank God for bringing them, for through them we can change things; perhaps the way we think or do things; and see His big picture in all of this.  It's difficult, I will admit, to thank God when I'm upset with hubby over something he did - or didn't do.  But, truly, is it really something that I want to hold a grudge against?  Even when things said or done to me are true, I still learn from what others think and feel.  Does that make sense?  Life is hard, and none of us are perfect, by any means.  No, not even you - nor me.  We all allow our 'feelings' to overtake our senses at times.  That's why many of us get into trouble with the words we say or the actions we take.  In everything give thanks.  God allows things to happen because He wants our attention on Him, not on our surroundings, our feelings, or on other people.  We may love our families, our spouses, grandchildren - and great grandchildren.  Well, not may, we do, but if we put them before God, they have become an idol.  We should never worship anyone or anything other than God.  Not our children; our grandchildren; or even generations after.  No one and nothing comes before God.  Not our feelings, not our emotions.  God must be first in all things; not just when we think about Him.  

Maybe this season of thankfulness we should sit back and think about what we have put before God and relinquish that 'worship' and give it back to Him.  Everything else is 'second place'.  Jesus is always first.  Remember the Joy saying?

Jesus First.  Others second.  Yourself last.  J.O.Y.

Thank Jesus first. He is the author and perfector of our faith.  

Blessings!

A productive but non-busy day

 was what yesterday was.  Hubby didn't want to physically go to church so we watched Free Chapel together.  Then we both took a nap, although he fell asleep during the service as well.  Once we woke, we had to get ready for the independent living facility I was speaking at.  It went well, I think.  The message was on gratitude, and two people came up to me afterwards to say 'thank you' for the message.  I miss being around people who are friendly - and these people are - they are hungry for people to come see them. I'm not on the scheduling for speaking so occasionally isn't bad.  I'm going to be busy with the RV parks for the next few months - in fact, I simply must start soon as I have three nearly right in a row this next month. I need to at least get rough drafts of the message, a title, and a scripture.  I'm not so concerned with going 'physically' somewhere right now as we are physically in these RV park services.

I really meant to go visit Ms. Vicky yesterday but decided to do a 'quick' run over to Sam's Club.  Can anyone do a 'quick' trip to Sam's Club?  I spent more than I ever have on one trip, I think. And I really did not get that much.  I still need to do a small order for Fry's and schedule a pick up - if I go there personally, I know I will spend more.  But then... is that so bad?  Hubby made a 'smart-aleck' comment about all the groceries I have bought lately.... he's getting his dates confused; it's been more than a couple days since I picked up groceries at Fry's and then it wasn't that much.  Ok, it had been less than a week, but I needed sugar and flour and some other things.  I think what made the biggest hit on the total was the Premier Protein drinks I bought yesterday.  They are $25 a case - but we do drink a lot of them.  I usually get vanilla for myself; chocolate for hubby - but the mint chocolate is in stock so got two cases of those.  I like a different flavor ever once in awhile.  And I needed more sugar.  With making the jam and pickles, I quickly went through 10 pound I got the other day.  I need to write out an extra list of things I 'need' for my Christmas baking and just go pick it up.  I did buy one package of meat.  No sodas, but I do get hubby his V8 juice in a can that he drinks one of every morning.  That's why he is so healthy, right?  I think it is two services of 5 fruits and vegetables - or something like that - every morning.  Maybe I should drink some to get me going! LOL    And I never made it over to see Ms. Vicky.  It just feels like time gets away from me.

I'm smiling this morning ... hubby has MY trainer today and tomorrow (and next week) as his trainer is taking a couple weeks off.  Morgan is about as excited to work with him.  Of course he has driven her crazy the past few weeks with 'I can't do this or that, I need to do this or that' and she just looks at him and smiles.  I'll hear about it tonight when I go for my own training.  He got the 7:30AM today and tomorrow, I'm at 5PM today and Wednesday.  We really do need to work out more than just two days a week, but at least we build strength when we do go.  I can't wait to hear his comments when he comes back from his first session with her.  'Can't' doesn't appear in her vocabulary; she will make you rephrase your words from "I can't do this' to "it's difficult, but I will try'.  LOL  My can't comes out way too often.  She decided a couple weeks ago that every time I said 'can't', I had to bring in a goodie treat the next time.  Well, I didn't do that as she would be so spoiled before Christmas she wouldn't need any treats.  I'm making her wait.

Speaking of Christmas treats, I got the sweetest text from Dr. K's wife last night.  She said she has personally eaten nearly the entire loaf of bread that I had given to them for Christmas.  She made me smile.  That's why I love to bake and give food away; so that people can enjoy it.  

I did remember Saturday evening to put the turkey in the refrigerator.  It should be completely thawed out by Thursday morning for baking.  Glad I have a roasting pan to bake it in versus the oven as we need the oven for other things.  Since I love to cook, I can't wait until Thursday morning when I can start getting things pulled together!  I almost bought a pumpkin pie yesterday for a grandson, cause I think I remember correctly that pumpkin pie is his favorite; but I didn't.  My son is making his famous dessert and I can't wait! 

Colossians 3:17 (NKJV)  And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.

Since this week is Thanksgiving week, how about if we pause throughout the days and just thank God for all that He has given us?  Pause and thank others for the things they do to make life more simple. Tell your spouse you are thankful for them (sometimes they are the one who needs to hear it the most!). 

And in all things, thank God for keeping you alive, for providing for your family, for loving you so much that He sent His one and only Son, to die on the cross for you.  Yes, we are getting ready to celebrate His birth next month, but we should never cease giving thanks to God for what came after that.  It's because of Jesus we have Christmas and Easter.  God the Father brought salvation to us through Christ, and His death has given us hope for a future with our Heavenly Father and our Lord. Hallelujah!  No one else loves you that much - right where you are.

Blessings!

Fun time, great conversation

 I had a wonderful time yesterday morning visiting with my friends for breakfast.  Yes, I had my usual steel cut oatmeal at Wildflower.  And it was good, as usual.  But I really enjoyed hanging out with my friends.  Dr. K mentioned that he will be 80 next February and he is still working.  Our friend, the CFO, has already retired a few years ago and she works part-time for the company she was last at.  She also takes care of rescue dogs - usually the older ones (13+ years old) that need a home and medical care. It all comes out of her pocket; she doesn't have pet insurance for them.  She currently has six dogs.  And, my favorite boss did state that her 'initial retirement date' to start with will be August 1, 2026.   Asked when I would retire.... well, there wasn't much I could say.  I do have so many pros and cons.  My comment was basically 'what would I do if I retired that I don't do now?'  Sigh.  I think my 'retirement' is non-existent, at least for now.  (erase!)

Wow.  Where did all that come from?  Yeah, I decided to erase my comments.  They didn't need to be said. Especially since it wasn't about 'me', but about someone else.  And that's that.

It's Sunday.  Hubby and I talked (again) yesterday about finding a place to go to church.  He was really down last night and mentioned about feeling so without value, that he wasn't doing anything.  I listened, which is what I should do.  I also shared that I feel he brought this on himself; he never developed any hobbies, and I encouraged him again to find something that he could enjoy doing.  I commented that I feel he thought his Bible studies and breakfasts/lunches with his friends were all he needed - and he's finding that he needs more than that.  So we discussed church again.  He would like to go back to our 'old' church, the one we went to for over 30 years, and I'm ok with that, (all the men in his Friday morning Bible study still go there; he is the only one who doesn't) but it is quite a distance away from here. I asked about how far taking the freeway - and it's only about 20 minutes, which is about what it took us to drive to our last church using streets.  I don't care where we go; I just want to be able to feel a part of it and hear a good message.  Sometimes life is hard and we just need someone to walk it with us.

Today I speak at the independent facility at 2PM.  I think I mentioned after the 'fellowship dinner' at our friend's house a few weeks ago that he said he didn't want to be a part of it.  His comment surprised me; but I think it was because this group of 'chaplains' knew each other, and we didn't know them.  I get it. He didn't feel a part of the group.  We're only included because I have spoken there.  And hubby doesn't want me to do it on a regular basis.  Today is because I had mentioned to our friend that I had a 'thankful' message that I was speaking at one of the RV parks a couple weeks ago. Perfect for the Sunday before Thanksgiving, right?  And I'll do it one more time on December 8th at the other RV park.  Then I have three messages almost in a row at the other RV park so I need to get on those this afternoon.  It does take time to pull these together and to make them relevant.  It is in times like these I frequently call out "Lord, help!!"

I reckon I need to go see Ms. Vicky after we get back.  I mentioned that we had talked a week or so ago - just haven't yet made it back over to see her or Ms. Diane.  And I should. There is no reason I shouldn't. I've just been lazy.  It's too easy to sit on the couch and crochet and be in my own little world.  LOL just heard a door slam and a gate squeak.  Me, thinking I was having a package delivery this early in the morning, jump up and look out my window.  Only our neighbor taking their little dog out for his morning business.  I do have packages on the way that I've ordered recently.  I think I am going to just stop ordering online and take my list and do some 'lunch hour' shopping so that I know exactly where I am with it.  I thought I had purchased a lot more for adults.  Ooops.  It is way too easy to buy for the little ones.  But I'm done with the two up north and their gifts are ready to go.  My sister's is completed and in the box.  We had agreed on shipping out December 2nd so will wait another week before shipping it out.  Need to find a little something for her hubby and grandson who lives with her at the moment.  Maybe I'll put in some cookies for him.  Her hubby loves my bread. My sister gets the cookbooks.

Have you ever stopped to think about how desperately our country needs Jesus?  How it desperately needs a revival to turn people back to Him?  I am 'loving' this book I'm reading, and I've already determined that I will read it again when I finish it - and will mark it up with highlights the next time.  I rarely underline or mark up my books; it's always been that 'don't mess up the book, you have to turn it back in to the library' - only these are my books.  So usually what I do is underline in pencil what I want to deem important.  I haven't done that in this book.  So much good stuff in it though.  I bought a copy for my sister... but I think I will take it and give to hubby and tell him he needs to read it as well.  He has so many books he has 'started' but not finished.... and then complains he can't get through them.  Perhaps we can have a talk about that later.  If you are half way through a book and still can't 'get it', then either stop reading it or skim read the rest of it in case something clicks.  Why beat yourself up that you can't get back to that one book?  Right?  Just because it is a 'good book' recommended by someone doesn't mean it is for you to read.  But this one book I'm reading, IS good, and I feel that it will help hubby find himself, right where he is.

Just like Jesus is right where we are, and He is always waiting for us to include him in what we think, what we say, what we do.  What if revival started here in the USA?  What would happen if Jesus got ahold of this country and set it on fire for Him?  Have you ever wondered?  Can you sit back and think about what Jesus can do when we bow our hearts and our heads in prayer and seek Him first, to put Him first, to live for Him?

I really would like to find this one book I read many years ago.  I don't think I have given it away; I don't remember the title of it, other than knowing the book is about prayer.  I'm talking about it being an 'old' book 40 years ago when I first read it.  I want to read it again. I just haven't been able to find it.  That book really moved me on prayer.  What was the story that got me?  In World War I there was a mother who prayed for her son who was unsaved on a battleship.  This mother prayed for her son, for his salvation.  She probably was fasting too, I don't remember.  But I remember her intensely and purposely praying for her son, for his salvation.  And God answered and moved.  The Holy Spirit moved from this mama's prayers to the battleship and the entire ship felt the power of the Holy Spirit and surrendered their lives to Jesus Christ.  No, this wasn't fiction.  This was a true story.  I want to read about it again.  I just haven't found that book yet - but I will.  The power of prayer.

I pray for my children daily.  I pray for their families daily.  Are you praying for your children; your family? Do you believe that prayer can change your family?  Maybe things are going 'just fine'; perhaps all are working and healthy and all is well.  That's great.  But are you praying for them?  Are you praying for their salvation?  Are you praying that God will do a move in their life and make them all that they can be?  That is our responsibility as parents - and grandparents.  Are we praying for the future spouses of those who are unmarried?  Are we praying for the families that they are?  Are we loving our children enough that we want God to intervene in their lives and draw them to Him?

Oh that each of our children, our grandchildren, our extended families and beyond - would come to know Jesus like we do!  Oh that our prayers would start a fire within our families that all would reach out to others and show them who Jesus is!  Do you not realize that Jesus is the ANSWER for EVERYTHING?  

No, you don't get a message this morning.  But I'm starting to ramble as well so I'll hush.  Sit back and think about your own relationship with Jesus.  Do you need to 'step it up' so that others can see Jesus in you?  Sometimes it is hard to be 'like Jesus' - I get it!  I have people in my family who are hard to love.  But Jesus calls us to be like Him.  Our will should be His will.  Jesus should be the most important person in your life.  Is He?

Blessings!

It felt good

 What did?  Getting things done yesterday.  It was a fairly quiet day for work and although I did have work to do, I took advantage of the 'no stress' time and cleaned off the bed in here and got my Christmas quilt and shams put on the bed.  I baked three batches of cranberry pumpkin nut bread.  Hmm.  I guess that is all I did, other than work and meetings I did need to get scheduled, but it felt good to get things done. I think I am done with this bread making and I may be done with the pickles and jam as well.  May make some more pickles and use the right cucumbers this time, but I do have several jars with the mini cukes - may just have to pass those on to my son to eat.  Or hubby.  I keep thinking that actually the smaller sliced ones may work better with sandwiches - you could easily lay several down instead of in circles. Those of you who have eaten pickles on sandwiches may understand what I am trying to say. I ate several of the mini cukes yesterday but still have a couple bags - enough for a couple jars of pickles and I may do that before they spoil.

Need also to review my grocery list so that I have everything for next week.  My daughter and family plan to leave on Tuesday evening, I think, and if so, I need to have the dressing in bags, ready to put in one bowl, and ready to go when they are.  It's my contribution to their Thanksgiving dinner.  But I also need to make sure I have plenty for our meal. Which reminds me, I need to clear out a space in the refrigerator this weekend and get the turkey in there to thaw out.  

I'm meeting my friends this morning for breakfast and am looking forward to it.  I have their Christmas bags ready to go; my favorite boss opted to wait until the 19th when we meet up and give it all to her at one time. She said if I gave to her now she would eat it all before then.  Her children would be disappointed! LOL  She gets more than what I've giving today anyway.  The longer I wait, the more will get made and in the bag.

Pickles!  Just got a text from Macy's that another item I ordered yesterday has been cancelled as it is out of stock.  Oh well.  Will need to keep looking for some, I guess.  Actually, I need to take the list of those that I still need to buy for and just go physically to the store and pick it up! Then I know I have it.  I'm trying to get everything done by the middle of December so that I can relax and enjoy the holiday.  Does that make sense?  In sorting things yesterday, I realized I have several adults I have not purchased anything for.  Not that I'm buying a lot for anyone this year, but I do need to determine the 'what' for 'whom' and get it taken care of.  Talked to my youngest yesterday about two of his children; he said gift cards - and that might be what they end up with. Those won't be a lot either, but they will be able to get what they want then, I guess.  

Oh - speaking of gift cards - remember my mentioning I had trouble with one Vanilla gift card I received?  I have been 'fighting' with Vanilla gift card customer service for a few months now.  They aren't real smart, I'm guessing, and I pretty much told them so in my last email to them.  It's no one's 'fault' ... it's just a manufacturing error and I keep trying to tell them that, even sending photos to them.  They keep coming back with 'after review we need to see the receipt and where it was purchased from".  How in the world do I know that? I received several gift cards; I don't know who this was given from - nor do I even know how much it was for!  I'm guessing $25 but I have no clue.  The bar code on the back of the card is only half there.  That's why it kept declining.  So I have told Vanilla gift card customer service that it isn't anyone's fault and I can prove 1/2 the barcode is missing - why can't they just figure it out.  They come back with 'the gift card has never been activated.  So does that mean it was picked up but purchased, but the cashier missed activating it?  I imagine, because of the barcode, activation would have declined, wouldn't you? It did when I tried to do it online.  I told them in my last email to them that they were not as smart as I thought they were.  Half of a barcode would prevent a lot of things from happening, but you can be sure that someone paid for the card!  Word to the wise - check barcodes before giving gift cards!  Also, it is helpful to write on the card (if it isn't identified) how much the card is for.  $1-$500 leaves a wide range of guessing.  Oh - and tape on the activation receipt.  I always do that anyway, to prove I did pay for it.

Proverbs 23:7 (NASB):  As he thinks within himself, so he is.

What is it that you are thinking about?  If you are constantly allowing your mind to wander to negative things, it will be hard to have any hope for anything at all.  When your mind is lost and wandering about in negativity, you will find fault with everything.  Everything is meaningless, according to Ecclesiastics - right?  I realize that some of us - me included - will think negatively about some (people) and some things, but when we do that, our thoughts are centered on the darkness and not on the light.  Oftentimes my youngest will be bemoaning something about his life and the chaos he is in, and I usually try to come back with, "well, on the POSTIVE side of this......".  Sometimes I have to search for the positive, I admit.  Even in my own life I search for positivity rather than the negative.  Life is hard and it is so easy to focus on our health (or lack thereof), or circumstances not being to where we are 'happy'.  Are we ever really happy though?  

Sometimes we need to change our perspective on people, and on things and situations.  Am I right?  I often fall into negativity because of being around other people who are negative.  It's easy to see the ugly part of people and things rather than seeing the good.  Let me use a silly example.

Say, for example, I fixed hubby a delicious, healthy, fulfilling meal. (he would never do this) - And, all he did was nit-pick the meat wasn't cooked right, the potatoes were mushy, the butter was hard, he wanted tea not water, etc. etc.  I guarantee you that he may be fixing his next meal, or I would make him start taking us out to eat for every meal.

But what if he complimented every aspect of that meal?  The meat was tender and delicious, the veggies were exactly how he liked them; water was fine, thank you.  I would continue to fix him good, healthy meals.  Does that make sense?  Yes, it is a silly example, but I think you get the jest of it.

Look for the positive in all things.  Don't think in your mind about things not always going right - the way you think they should.  Sometimes they aren't right because something better will be the result.  It happens all the time and you know it.   You get delayed in traffic and you gripe and complain.... and then a few minutes later you hear a crash about where your car would have been if you had been on time.  

Change the things you think about - and make them positive.  Change your perspective and see the bigger picture.  Our thinking comes out in words at times; as my mama always said...."be careful of the words you speak, you don't know which ones you will have to eat."

Blessings!

I stand corrected

 Yep - I wrote in yesterday's 'newsworthy read' that Thanksgiving was a week from TOMORROW - but I should have written TODAY (yesterday) - and I did go back and change it.  I'm sure I was thinking today (meaning yesterday) but typed tomorrow.  I do that frequently - I will be thinking one word and another types out.  Not sure if it is me or spellcheck.  We all notice it on our phones, don't we - we say one word or start to type one word, and another pops in over it - usually nothing like what we meant to say.  And, of course, we notice it AFTER we send the message.  I don't know why I don't pause and read a message before I send it - I type it - or say it - and send....then I go back and read and go "Oh crap! That's not what I said!" or I find a word misspelled - and that annoys me.  So I go back and edit it.  Sometimes a time or two.

I guess I made hubby angry at me last night.  He went to bed pouting.  Annoyed at him, I let him. He was asleep when I went to bed about 20-30 minutes later.  It was really rude of him, and that's my story and I'm sticking to it!  The TV had been off all evening (because he had watched Chicago PD ALL AFTERNOON, not even wearing his headset.  I had my door nearly closed to avoid the sound.  

Now let me preface this a bit.  Some of you know cause I'm sure I have written in here about it before.  I do not watch scary movies; I do not watch movies that involve hurting people, cutting up people, etc.  I don't because I find myself thinking about them during the night and they disturb me.  It is my choice not to watch things like that.  Well, after a couple hours of silence while he looked through his phone and I worked on the quilt I am making, he turns the TV on - again to Chicago PD.  Now, there is nothing wrong with the show.  I've watched many episodes with him over the years.  But some of them I just can't watch.  Yesterday afternoon there were a couple.  Anyway, he turns on the TV to Chicago PD and it got to a scene where this powerful woman was going to cut up this man's feet with a sharp knife to make him tell her who hired him to kill her (obviously he missed).  Well, as he started screaming, I put down the sewing and came back in here, shut my door quietly, and decided I would do some online Christmas shopping. (In my wrapping I have discovered I have not even started on several family members!).  Not a big deal, right?  I never said a word to hubby, just got up and came in here.  I don't care that he watches those shows.  But he knows that I cannot as I end up having nightmares and the scenes repeat in my mind all night long. So I choose not to watch.

About 20 minutes later he comes looking for me.  Heaven forbid I'm not where he can keep an eye on me. Sigh.  He opened the door and asked me what I was doing.  I just said that I am Christmas shopping.  I think in that moment he realized the reason for my being in here.  He slams the door shut and I could hear him go to bed.  So I let him.  About 30 minutes later, I followed and he was sound asleep. This morning he is all chirper and 'happy', as if he didn't storm away after slamming the door.  Whatever.  Short term memory or just ignoring what he did was wrong.  Ok - enough of all that.

Yesterday I was able to get a lot of personal things done with my male boss on PTO.  Today starts a 3 week vacation for another person I support.  She's going to the Antartica and Machu Picchu.  My favorite boss was in back to back meetings.  I went with my daughter to help her get new glasses; we had lunch together.  Then I spent the afternoon cleaning off some of the bed and wrapping a few more gifts.  That's when I discovered for sure that I'm 'done' with the great grands - and need to focus on the adults. Oh well.  It's a small Christmas for everyone else; the great-grands are the ones who will benefit this year. :-)  Not that bad, but a few. haha  

Today will be a fairly quiet day as well.  Hopefully I can finish up things in here and get my Christmas quilt on the bed.  Have to get it cleaned off first.  Hubby will be leaving in about 10 minutes for his bible study and then to a funeral of one of the men who had passed away recently.  Which means I will have the morning to myself.  Hopefully, although I do have things to do for work, I can get a lot done this morning while he is gone.

I awoke with my left hip hurting and down into my calf this morning.  Not sure what that is about, but am making a note of it.  If it continues, will have to break my once a year visit to my PCP and see if I need tests.  The first time I had this hip pain was when I got bit by the bedbugs up north.  That is still my assumption as it is in only one spot - and would you believe that I still have the marks on my inner thigh where I was bit? They are just 'there' as part of the skin.  I find that interesting and wonder what it really was.  Anyway - that hip pain and thigh pain started that night.  Now it is down in to my calf. I haven't had any pain for several weeks so am not sure if it is the leg exercises that I did Wednesday night or something else.  Waiting it out is what I always do.  If it goes away, then I don't worry about it. My mother (and other relatives) was a hypochondriac, and I refuse to complain constantly (except in here) about headaches, leg pain, body aches, etc.  I once told my doctor that I will deal with an issue for two weeks (hence why I waited a week to go to urgent care or to the dermatologist with these bites) and if I am still having issues, will visit the doctor.  What concerns me with my leg is that one of the side effects of Fosamax is a thigh bone can unexpectedly break as one walks across the street.  Yeah, that's in the cons.  I've been on Fosamax for three years and they say I need to take it for five years before they will switch me off of it.  I think I would have rather taken my chances with brittle bones.  Maybe I should rub castor oil on my hip and leg?  

Tomorrow morning is when I need to gather a couple 'goodie bags' for my CFO and Dr friend.  I may take a jar of jam to my favorite boos.  We meet for breakfast in the morning.  And no, I don't invite hubby.  These are my friends from work.  The doctor sometimes brings his wife, but we all know her and are always glad to see her.  Looking forward to some 'me' time.  I should make perhaps cheesecake cookies today and take them some tomorrow with their jam and pickles and bread.  Some people love to get my homemade goodies.

I noticed yesterday morning several cars stopping in front of our duplex so I finally went out.  Our adjoining neighbor was having a 'garage sale' of sorts.  I told them 'Nosey is here to see what you are doing."  They laughed.  It wasn't long before hubby followed me over.  I looked through their things that they had on sale and bought a few things. A salad bowl set I really didn't need but thought it was pretty. A shower curtain for my bathroom; I've always disliked the one I have in there but too cheap to buy a new one. 3 tubs that they had emptied of their things..... my thought is when I finally go through the boxes in the garage cabinets, I can move what I'm keeping to these tubs and put in the cabinets.  There was one more thing, but I'm drawing a blank on what it was.  My math skills were not working and I think I shorted them $1.... will take it over when we see them.  We'll have them over for dinner in a couple weeks (once I get this room cleaned out) and can give to them then. Now what was that other item!  Maybe I'll go look and tell you tomorrow. Oh yeah - it was Tupperware!  One that I hadn't seen before and it appears to be two casserole dishes that can be used for the microwave.  She never used it and it looks new; think I will give to a niece for her apartment.  I'm sure she microwaves some food. 

I plan to get more cranberry pumpkin nut bread in the oven this morning.  Set the can of pumpkin out as a reminder.  I have several in the freezer, but thought I'd take fresh to my friends tomorrow.  And I'll make bigger loaves for them.  I wonder what else I can make for gifts this year.  Oh yeah, I want to make 'real' bread too and bought myself a bread cookbook so that I can.  Most of the recipes in the one book call for a 'starter' - not sure if I want to deal with that.  But found others that I could make in one day rather than waiting for a starter to grow.  That grow, feed, and discard stuff drives me crazy, as I've shared before.  

The house is silent. Hubby is on his way to Bible study.  I love these few minutes before I have to start work.  I could get up and get dressed, but why?  No one is going to see me. Not within the hour anyway. I can stay in my jammies for a couple more hours if I want.  YAY.  But I do need to get off here and quit rambling and bring up my work computer. It's on - but need to sign in.  

Colossians 3:15 (NKJV):  And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful.

Blessings!

I'm going to have to research more

 I heard from a friend earlier this month about the benefits of rubbing castor oil on the body. I may have written something about it; I didn't stop to go back and look before I started typing this morning.  I've put it on the bottom of my feet and I feel there is a noticeable difference.  Of course, lotion or oil on the bottom of feet make it smoother - I get that.  I had sort of set it aside other than using it for that.  Lazy is the only reason I have.  It takes a little time to make sure it is all rubbed into the skin so that I don't get oil on my clothes.  The castor oil to buy is organic and really, really thick.  You can dilute it with coconut oil and make it thinner, but I would think it would be more effective as is, although coconut oil is good for things as well.  I used to use it as a moisturizer and when I run out of the expensive stuff I was 'talked into' buying for my face, I will go back to it.  Anyway, I was talking with my trainer last night and she was telling me of some things that her doctor had told her.....and I remembered some of the things I read about castor oil.  I told her, and she knew about the health benefits; after she had her baby, she used castor oil on her tummy and it not only settled everything down, it removed any scars she had.  We talked about the area her doctor had discussed with her, and she was going to try to remember to put some on that area and see what the next tests show.  

I think I need to do more research on the positives about rubbing castor oil on your skin.  I've heard it helps with arthritis and even diseases of the kidney and liver.  I told my daughter about it, but I don't think she has remembered.  I had put the oil away in a cabinet when our house cleaners had come out - and forgotten about it.  I brought the castor oil back out last night and rubbed on my feet.  I may try to rub on my body when I go to get dressed for today.  Take the time to rub it in and if I do it daily, would love to see what tests show when I do blood tests in another month or so.  I read articles before where it helps with arthritic fingers and knees, believe it or not.  Tell you what; I'm willing to try it if I'm in pain.  What do I have to lose?  If I do it correctly and it doesn't work - I'll at least have smooth skin.  But if I use it correctly and it does work - hallelujah, right?  Need to do more research I think.  Surely there is a book out there somewhere on castor oil, right?

I finally got the first quilt pinned with the lace I plan to put on it.  I need to check it again tonight to make sure I have it where I want it, and then I can start sewing it down.  It will be nice to get at least one completed, but I do want to get at least one more made before Christmas.  But it's not critical; that baby isn't here until January, and I can always mail it - not that they are waiting on a quilt from Oma.

Since my male boss was going on PTO yesterday at noon, he didn't send me a lot of work.  I spent most of the afternoon wrapping Christmas gifts and have just about all of them wrapped and under the trees.  Realized I am 'done' with three of the smallest great-grandchildren.  It is so easy to buy for the little ones.  Most are just getting an outfit or two.  Maybe one toy of some sort. I wrote things down as I wrapped them, but I think I missed a couple things.  I have scanned the lists and occasionally will remember something I wrapped for a specific person.  Between trying to work and wrap and keep an eye on emails, I could easily get distracted.  

Made lunch arrangements the first part of December with a dear 'old' friend.  Met her with I was pregnant with my first child. Her husband was in Korea; mine was in Viet Nam.  We have remained friends all these years.  I have bought her a few things for Christmas and hope that she will enjoy them. Anyway - was able to get that scheduled and on the calendar for one of the days I am off work.  That way we don't have to keep an eye on the clock and can talk as long as we want to.  

If you stop to think about it - Thanksgiving is NEXT WEEK!!  One week from TODAY!!  This entire year has gone so fast and now the holidays are quickly approaching.  Once Thanksgiving hits and goes past - Christmas will be sitting in our laps!  And this is why I have already started buying and wrapping and have my trees up.  I buy for so many I would never get all done before Christmas!  I don't have one scheduled, but I think I may have to take a 'shopping day' off work so that I can finish up.  There are a few gifts that I need to go out and purchase.  

I also want to make a run over to Home Depot or Lowes this weekend.  I think I'll buy real poinsettia plants to put in my pots outside for now.  After Christmas I can plant them in the courtyard.  They will grow after Christmas - at the end of January you cut them back, but the morning sun will cause them to grow into a big bush, and come December again, the flowers will come out and turn red.  The first house we had out here had an area that caught only the morning sun - and it was perfect.  I loved having real poinsettia plants growing next to the house.  Tried it here, but it didn't work so well. Hubby and I don't agree on the watering timing.  I want to do the watering, and if they die, it's my fault.  But he won't relinquish 'control' of the watering (except when I sneak out when he's gone and tell him I've watered when he gets back - and then hear about it being his job!).  Sometimes I just let the plants die.  And every year I complain that I spent about $200 on plants, and he lets them die - but of course it is never his fault.  I did buy small artificial trees that I was going to set on the posts outside in lieu of the pots, but I think I will fix them on the ledge behind my sink and use as decorations inside the house.  Will have to think that through.  End of that story.

The Bible is a mirror that shows us our desperate need for God.  Jesus said, "He who does not love Me does not keep My words; and the word which you hear is not Mine, but the Father's who sent me" (John 14:24).  In this world of postmodern, relativistic thinking, we need a clear word. We're investing tons of our time, money, and energy into being current and trendy, but the problem of man is as old as the Garden of Eden. The answer is where it's always been - in the pages of God's Word.

The above paragraph sums up where this world is, don't you think?  It is from the book I am currently reading titled "The Power of Surrender - Breaking through to Revival' by Michael Catt.  I've had it for a few years and hadn't read it.  When I finally picked it up to read, I am wishing I had more time to read in it.  For now, I've just been reading it in the mornings.  Michael Catt doesn't pull any punches.  I only have this book by him, and after Christmas, may look to buy a few more.  I noticed he has several other books out.  He is the pastor of the Sherwood Church where the Kendrick Brothers (who have created a few movies now) have attended.  I think Sherwood also provides some finances for the movies; definitely some people, I think.  Anyway - this book really makes me pause and think about where I am.

Which reminds me; I had a strange dream last night.  I was transporting two older teenage boys to church.  We arrive and they are having a meal, so we ate together.  Then we got up for church; the boys taking off to get to class, and I'm walking through the tables when a woman I do not know steps in front of me, touches my forehead, and begins praying over me.  I don't 'hear' what she is praying (or don't remember, just remember the scene), and I feel electric shocks (just things flowing gently) going through my body.  I tell myself to stop trying to fight it, and I fall down to the floor. (slain in the Spirit?) I remember getting up off the floor and walking to the classroom where the two boys are being disruptive by humming loudly.  I sit in front of them and turn to tell them to be quiet.... and they do.... and then I wake up.  I wrote it out in my journal as we should do when we have a dream, but I have no clue what it could mean.  All I had for dinner last night was a salad so surely it wasn't from that!  Interesting, huh?  Any ideas?

And, if you haven't gone to see 'The Best Christmas Pageant Ever' - you simply must go see it!  It is a great Christmas movie and I love it.  May try to go see it again.

I will probably mention this again tomorrow, but I am looking forward to Saturday morning when I can meet up with my favorite boss, my favorite doctor, and my favorite CFO for breakfast. Oh yeah, I remember I have already mentioned it. Oh well.  Today is Thursday and I will need to make decisions on what I am going to give to my friends for Christmas.  For the past 3-4 years Dr. Krauss has given me a flower.  I planted them this past year and they grew to about 4 ft before faltering in the hot son. They are still growing too, although only about a foot tall now.  It's one of those plants that are encased in wax and the flower doesn't need to be watered.  I don't know how it does that - it goes months without water; something inside the wax I guess.  They always get my bread but will also give them jam and will see if I have a decent jar of pickles to give them as well.  

Speaking of pickles, they look ugly now!  The ones I cut in half, I mean.  I still think - and will try it later today - that if I dump the liquid and then put the (cut in half) pickles on a plate, we can just eat them.  Maybe Thanksgiving would be a good time to open up those jars.  They are 3/4 liquid and the cucumbers have shrunk and are in the upper 1/3 of the jar - and shriveled.  Maybe I'll run to the store today and pick up two-three REAL cucumbers and make a few jars for these.  My boss wont' get her gifts until the 19th of December as we will meet and exchange gifts before the male boss' department party.  She gets a bit of everything I make - and then uses them for Christmas. She says her kids always ask if I made something - and when she says 'yes' - they dive in to it.  I've known her for over 30 years so I guess her kids know me well, huh.  Well, I did do all three of their weddings, and her father's memorial service so there is that as well.  Yeah, we're friends.  Real friends.

Got to go - hope that you have an amazing day!

Blessings!

It was a nice thought...but....

 Hubby surprised me yesterday when he came back from getting an ultrasound done at the doctor's office.  He stopped at Bosa donuts and bought each of us an apple fritter.  A very LARGE apple fritter.  I ate about 1/3 of it and the rest had to go in the refrigerator.  Way too sweet for me.  Hubby also put some of his back.  Now to clarify - apple fritters are his favorite; not mine.  But they are good.  This morning, bless his heart, he heated up my left-over apple fritter and brought to me with my coffee.  And here I was sitting thinking of asking him to bring me a few crackers.  Well, I ate perhaps another third of the fritter, and not tell hubby, the but the rest is going in the trash.  Way too sweet and way too much for me.  If he asks, I will tell him, but if not, he will never know.  He's been wanting to go to Bosa donuts for awhile and I've kept saying no.  So he went without me.  Oh, and he brought us both a large coffee from there yesterday as well.  That was thoughtful. :-)

I made BBQ pork for sandwiches last night.  Just saying.  I have a container in the fridge for my son if he can get out here today or tomorrow; if not, I will throw into a plastic bag and put in the freezer and he can pick up over Thanksgiving when they come over.  I'd even heat up and put on a bun for him. LOL  Just throwing it out there.  We do live pretty far out anymore.  

And I'm not happy about that, either. But hubby refuses to leave.  Oh - he was just voted in AGAIN as President of the HOA.  He totally ignores me when I tell him not to do it.  I'm sure he does keep things in line, administrative was always his strong suit. And he loves being in control.  It gives him value and purpose I guess.  I do not like the HOA and we fight about it all the time.  And they just raised the fee ANOTHER $30 a month - which is a total of $90 a month since we moved in here!!  It aggravates me - and I want to move - but he refuses.  I want my own yard, I want my own place.  I'll take care of the yard.  If I have too I will hire a landscaper.  Lord knows the landscaper they have here in our subdivision is worthless.  Our yards look like crap and so do the trees.  Ok - off my soapbox.

It was another early wake-up for me this morning.  I started waking up about 2:15AM - and then my watch buzzed.  I thought it was odd, but ignored it.  Then I decided that perhaps I needed to check to see if there was a message.  Oh there was.  My battery was down to 10%.  In the middle of the night!  Seriously? It rarely gives me that message as I put it on the charger when I come in here.   I struggled to go back to sleep and could not, so got up about 3:30AM and did some reading before getting in to my daily devotionals and readings.  I may need a nap later today.  I'm thinking of plugging my watch in at night and not wear it - perhaps I can sleep through the night then?  But I like wearing it in case one of my kids should call (it buzzes when I get a call) in the middle of the night - I keep my phone in here at night to not hear any pings that may go off.  May need to try it though.  Haven't figured out why I keep waking up.  Even with staying up later, I am still waking up in the middle of the night. Ok - enough of that.

I was able to get some gifts wrapped yesterday in between scheduling meetings.  I have boxes that need to go to the garage.  I still have a lot to wrap, and even hubby commented that all the gifts here by the bed are blocking my path to my kneeling bench.  And he is right.  Hopefully I can get more gifts wrapped today.  My male boss goes on PTO at noon until December 1st!  I will have a lot more 'free' time, I am thinking.  As I wrap the gifts I write down what it is and who for - trying to figure out what I still need to get.  I'm through shopping until I get that done.  I think two of the great granddaughters are done.  At least one great-grandson is completed.  They are the lucky ones this year. 

My daughter's husband flew to New Mexico yesterday and when she came over last night, she was sharing how much more she will be able to get unpacked at her house while he is gone. And was quite happy about it.  After she left, hubby asked me, "Why is she so excited about her husband being gone?"  I just looked at him and said, "The same reason I get excited when you go to meet someone for a meal or to a study."  He looked at me and goes "well you don't have to throw it back in my face!"  I explained that I wasn't - I'm 'excited' when he leaves because then I know I won't have anyone interrupting me, I won't have anyone telling me what to do, and even though I am working, I can get up and move about without someone asking me about not working or what am I doing.  I don't think he gets it - he is so dependent upon me being here for him.  He can't stand it when I'm away and he isn't with me.  He is literally lost.  And he has brought that upon himself. Trust me, I fight for any independence I can get!  He would literally be out of sorts if I ever had to go back into the office on a daily basis to work. He wouldn't know what to do with himself.

Ugh. My tummy isn't liking that sweet apple fritter this morning.  May need to get some toast pretty soon.

My little sister and I agreed only cookbooks for Christmas this year.  I requested a crockpot cookbook - not that I need it, but it was one she could buy for me.  She wanted one for soup and sandwiches.  I ended up getting her one soup and two sandwich cookbooks. I wasn't sure if these were 'real' sandwiches or the ones that no one will really go to the trouble to make.    But I also bought her a couple other books, which I will include to save on postage, but won't wrap. :-)  That's how I get around only the cookbooks for Christmas. LOL I also need to stick in some breads - her husband loves my cranberry pumpkin nut bread (he can taste it even when he is on chemo) and she doesn't like cranberries so I make one with just nuts for her.  We agreed to put our packages in the mail to each other on December 2nd.  Yes, it is early, and yes, we will go ahead and open them.  It's ok.  We don't want them 'lost' in all the shipping that will happen later on in the month.  By that weekend I hope to get my brothers' packages in the mail.  I always send them each a loaf of my bread, and if I have found something else for them, send it as well.  This year it may just be bread for I haven't done any unique shopping this year.  Both brothers have way more money than I do.  

I asked my little brother as I was checking in on him yesterday 'what are you going to send me for Christmas this year?'  He goes "I don't know."  I told him he was off the hook; he never sends anything and never has.  And that's ok.  I was rummaging through my mind trying to find something to talk about.  Christmas is on my mind.  He had already gone through his medical history and upcoming appointments.  He was wanting to get rid of me so that he could go to the VFW.  Some things just don't change.  Thankfully the spot in his lung has not grown, so they are now going to pursue his knee replacements - only he went ahead and got the cortisone shots in his knees they were so painful - and now has to wait 3 months for surgery.  After another CT scan for his lung.  I tell him I'm praying for him, but I don't think it phases him.

I love you Lord, for Your mercies never fail me. All my days, I've been held in Your hands. From the moment that I wake up, until I lay my head, Oh, I will sing of the goodness of God.

All my life You have been faithful. And all my life you have been so, so good. With every breath that I am able, Oh, I will sing of the goodness of God.

I love Your voice.  You have led me through the fire.  In the darkest night, You are close like no other. I've known you as a Father.  I 've known you as a Friend.  And I have lived in the goodness of God.

And all my life You have been faithful.  All my life you have been so, so good.  With every breath that I am able, Oh, I will sing of the goodness of God.    (lyrics to part of the Goodness of God)

Do you ever stop and think about how good God has been, and is, to you?  I can look back over my life and even in the darkest times, I can see His hand has been upon me.  He guided me in times that I could have been totally lost in the world.  He stayed me by His hand.  Yes, He did let me falter for a couple years, but even then, He protected me.  I learned in those years that having Jesus in my heart and being obedient to Him was more important than me wallowing in what the world has to offer.  It has nothing, compared to all the blessings and goodness of our God.  He is so faithful; He is so much closer than our best friend.  He supplies all that we need, physically, mentally, and spiritually.  You want to know why I love Jesus so much?  Because He saved me from myself.  I was a mess, and He took this poor, wayward, worth nothing young woman, and picked me up and set my feet on His solid ground.  I will never stop praising Him.

Blessings!

For now, I'm done. I think.

 I've having to keep one eye on the clock this morning and it's not for work.  I have a training appointment at the gym at 7AM.  I gave my trainer permission to schedule me some at 7AM, although it messes up my workday.  Sorta.  I'm sure I mentioned this before; I have to quit at 6AM so that I can be ready to go out the door at 6:30AM and then get over there with a few minutes to spare.  It's colder out now so that makes it a big uncomfortable for me, but 'it is what it is'.  We are doing core today.  Which means I'm going to struggle through tightening up my belly.  Sigh.  I wish the tightening would remove he fat, but it doesn't.  But working on my core strength helps me stay balanced and not as likely to fall easily.  Just like my leg exercises, though they may hurt, help me to stand and walk without swaying or have a fear of falling.  Anyway - it's core day at the gym and I have about 45 minutes before I need to stop and get dressed and head over. I'll start work about 7:45AM when I get back and work through my lunch hour and still get off at 4PM.  Depending on what I'm doing at that time, I can also work a little later tonight. You needed to know all that, right?  

I had fun yesterday.  I took a few breaks from work and made several half pint jars of 'Christmas Jam' - which is cranberries and strawberries.  I even took a bag of strawberries out of the freezer and finished using up my small jars.  And they all sealed. I think I ended up with a total of about 14 half pints and 2 larger ones.   Then, I was in the mood to finish up the pickles.  And I did.  I 'pickled' from about 4PM to about 7PM.  I used up all the mini cukes I had still in packages.  I have some still in bags in the refrigerator that we can munch on, but finished up what I had out.  I think it was like about 9 pints and 1 quart.  Some with cucumbers and onions (bread n butter), and some with just pickles.  Will see how that works.  For me, it was a busy day and evening, but I enjoyed it so much.  But I think I am done canning for awhile.  I don't need to bake until the middle of next month.  Unless I get overtaken by the desire to get some more done!  For me, it was a fun day, doing things that I enjoy doing.  In between working, of course.

I did make a run over to JoAnn's to pick up lace for the baby quilts I am making. I did not know that people just don't buy lace anymore (I'm guessing), and now I realize why Walmart didn't have much to look at.  JoAnn's has all their lace in a 'clearance type' location, and it is nearly depleted.  I did a lot of talking with God while I was going through the lace, asking for His help to find what I needed. I finally found two rolls of lace (x3 for three quilts) that could possibly work for what I want on the quilts.  Quantity was scarce and I was praying that I could find two rolls (because they are only 4-5 yards in each roll and I needed six yards, of course) of the same design.  My next choice would have been Hobby Lobby.  I have to feel the lace, otherwise I would just go online and find a place and order it.  I wanted a soft lace, not something scratchy. Anyway, I picked up six rolls of lace and hopefully can make it all work.  I'll have lace left over so many need to find another project; or make smaller quilts.

Jam-making is done; pickles are done; and now I am ready to start back on the quilts.  I love making things and giving them away, have you noticed.  I sat down last night after I finished the pickles and was going to start on the quilt - and hubby turned the TV off.  Then I had a choice.  Read, which I also love to do, or start pinning on the lace to the first quilt.  Well, reading won.  I can always work with my hands while the TV is on, but I don't often have the time to read.  I'm getting way behind and I think I have 9 books to go on my goal for this year - but I am not going to worry nor stress about it.  It was a 'toss-out' number anyway.  I beat last year's goal on reading, so I still did good.  November and December are my busy creating months so all reading slows down anyway.

Psalm 1:1-2 (NKJV):  Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor stands in the path of sinners, nor sits in the seat of the scornful; but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and in His law he meditates day and night.

Psalm 1 is referred to as a 'wisdom psalm'.  It presents a contrast between the way of a righteous and the way of the wicked.  It focuses on character and the different destinies of the righteous and the wicked. It points to the truth even when the falsehoods of our culture begin to cloud our thinking.  It tells of walking with God, and turning away from Him.  It's an interesting introduction to a large book in the Bible, one which should be read slowly and meditatively.  Most of us know Psalm 23.  And there may be one or two others you memorized growing up.  Do you still remember them?

I'm reading a book by Mark Cahill titled Ten Questions from the King.  I haven't gotten but to Chapter 2 or 3, I think, but it is somewhat interesting.  He is a bold one, Mark Cahill is.  Much more bolder than I, I will admit.  He goes around and he easily asks people questions.  Questions like "Who do you say Jesus is?"  He commented the some of the responses are very vague.  Most people anymore have 'heard' about 'this Jesus', but they have no clue who He is.  They don't know that He came to earth, that He is the Son of the Living God, that He took on all our sins, was beaten, scourged, whipped, put on a cross to die, (things that WE deserve for our sins!); He took it all for you and me.  And not only did He go to the cross for you and I, He died there. He was buried in a tomb no one had used yet.  And on the third day, the stone was rolled away and He walked out.  Alive. Hallelujah!  And He did all that to take our sins to the cross and leave them there.  He ascended to the Father, our Glorious God, and lives there, waiting for the time for Him to come back and take us, who believe in Him, back with Him.  

So here is a question for you - "Who do you say Jesus is?"

Anyway - like I said, I haven't gotten very far, but Mark Cahill strikes up these conversations and questions with everyone he meets. And he says he gets interesting answers.  I'm not that bold, I admit.  There was a time, I believe, that I could have been.  I can remember standing up at church one Sunday evening at a church meeting, appalled that people were nit-picking over a $2 bank charge for someone's bounced check and how they just didn't see how we could meet the budget the church had set for the following year.  In my mind, nothing was too much for God, and instead of having the mind-set of God can do anything He wants with our money, increase it over the budget, or meet the budget - they wanted to reduce the budget to where they felt comfortable in meeting it.  I still remember that meeting. I couldn't believe they didn't have the faith to believe in what God could do.

I thought then, and I believe now, that God is more than able to do immeasurably more than we could ever hope or imagine.  I have been beaten up a few times and my faith isn't as strong as it used to be.  I could debate anyone at one time, but I've not been able - yet - to overcome the broken heart syndrome of being put down and demeaned over my walk with God.  I've mentioned it a few times before, I'm sure.  I believe; I always will believe in God.  It's the boldness I used to have in my faith that I've lost.  I pray frequently that I find it again.  People like for me to 'stay in my corner' and not make a stand.  So I keep reading my Bible and other books so that when I need to take a stand, I will without fear of name calling and demeaning words.  What is that saying?  'Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.'  Yeah, the words hurt.  Deeply.  They cut right in to the soul.

And with that - I'm off here - got to get ready for the gym.  Have an amazing day!

Blessings!