It was a nice thought...but....

 Hubby surprised me yesterday when he came back from getting an ultrasound done at the doctor's office.  He stopped at Bosa donuts and bought each of us an apple fritter.  A very LARGE apple fritter.  I ate about 1/3 of it and the rest had to go in the refrigerator.  Way too sweet for me.  Hubby also put some of his back.  Now to clarify - apple fritters are his favorite; not mine.  But they are good.  This morning, bless his heart, he heated up my left-over apple fritter and brought to me with my coffee.  And here I was sitting thinking of asking him to bring me a few crackers.  Well, I ate perhaps another third of the fritter, and not tell hubby, the but the rest is going in the trash.  Way too sweet and way too much for me.  If he asks, I will tell him, but if not, he will never know.  He's been wanting to go to Bosa donuts for awhile and I've kept saying no.  So he went without me.  Oh, and he brought us both a large coffee from there yesterday as well.  That was thoughtful. :-)

I made BBQ pork for sandwiches last night.  Just saying.  I have a container in the fridge for my son if he can get out here today or tomorrow; if not, I will throw into a plastic bag and put in the freezer and he can pick up over Thanksgiving when they come over.  I'd even heat up and put on a bun for him. LOL  Just throwing it out there.  We do live pretty far out anymore.  

And I'm not happy about that, either. But hubby refuses to leave.  Oh - he was just voted in AGAIN as President of the HOA.  He totally ignores me when I tell him not to do it.  I'm sure he does keep things in line, administrative was always his strong suit. And he loves being in control.  It gives him value and purpose I guess.  I do not like the HOA and we fight about it all the time.  And they just raised the fee ANOTHER $30 a month - which is a total of $90 a month since we moved in here!!  It aggravates me - and I want to move - but he refuses.  I want my own yard, I want my own place.  I'll take care of the yard.  If I have too I will hire a landscaper.  Lord knows the landscaper they have here in our subdivision is worthless.  Our yards look like crap and so do the trees.  Ok - off my soapbox.

It was another early wake-up for me this morning.  I started waking up about 2:15AM - and then my watch buzzed.  I thought it was odd, but ignored it.  Then I decided that perhaps I needed to check to see if there was a message.  Oh there was.  My battery was down to 10%.  In the middle of the night!  Seriously? It rarely gives me that message as I put it on the charger when I come in here.   I struggled to go back to sleep and could not, so got up about 3:30AM and did some reading before getting in to my daily devotionals and readings.  I may need a nap later today.  I'm thinking of plugging my watch in at night and not wear it - perhaps I can sleep through the night then?  But I like wearing it in case one of my kids should call (it buzzes when I get a call) in the middle of the night - I keep my phone in here at night to not hear any pings that may go off.  May need to try it though.  Haven't figured out why I keep waking up.  Even with staying up later, I am still waking up in the middle of the night. Ok - enough of that.

I was able to get some gifts wrapped yesterday in between scheduling meetings.  I have boxes that need to go to the garage.  I still have a lot to wrap, and even hubby commented that all the gifts here by the bed are blocking my path to my kneeling bench.  And he is right.  Hopefully I can get more gifts wrapped today.  My male boss goes on PTO at noon until December 1st!  I will have a lot more 'free' time, I am thinking.  As I wrap the gifts I write down what it is and who for - trying to figure out what I still need to get.  I'm through shopping until I get that done.  I think two of the great granddaughters are done.  At least one great-grandson is completed.  They are the lucky ones this year. 

My daughter's husband flew to New Mexico yesterday and when she came over last night, she was sharing how much more she will be able to get unpacked at her house while he is gone. And was quite happy about it.  After she left, hubby asked me, "Why is she so excited about her husband being gone?"  I just looked at him and said, "The same reason I get excited when you go to meet someone for a meal or to a study."  He looked at me and goes "well you don't have to throw it back in my face!"  I explained that I wasn't - I'm 'excited' when he leaves because then I know I won't have anyone interrupting me, I won't have anyone telling me what to do, and even though I am working, I can get up and move about without someone asking me about not working or what am I doing.  I don't think he gets it - he is so dependent upon me being here for him.  He can't stand it when I'm away and he isn't with me.  He is literally lost.  And he has brought that upon himself. Trust me, I fight for any independence I can get!  He would literally be out of sorts if I ever had to go back into the office on a daily basis to work. He wouldn't know what to do with himself.

Ugh. My tummy isn't liking that sweet apple fritter this morning.  May need to get some toast pretty soon.

My little sister and I agreed only cookbooks for Christmas this year.  I requested a crockpot cookbook - not that I need it, but it was one she could buy for me.  She wanted one for soup and sandwiches.  I ended up getting her one soup and two sandwich cookbooks. I wasn't sure if these were 'real' sandwiches or the ones that no one will really go to the trouble to make.    But I also bought her a couple other books, which I will include to save on postage, but won't wrap. :-)  That's how I get around only the cookbooks for Christmas. LOL I also need to stick in some breads - her husband loves my cranberry pumpkin nut bread (he can taste it even when he is on chemo) and she doesn't like cranberries so I make one with just nuts for her.  We agreed to put our packages in the mail to each other on December 2nd.  Yes, it is early, and yes, we will go ahead and open them.  It's ok.  We don't want them 'lost' in all the shipping that will happen later on in the month.  By that weekend I hope to get my brothers' packages in the mail.  I always send them each a loaf of my bread, and if I have found something else for them, send it as well.  This year it may just be bread for I haven't done any unique shopping this year.  Both brothers have way more money than I do.  

I asked my little brother as I was checking in on him yesterday 'what are you going to send me for Christmas this year?'  He goes "I don't know."  I told him he was off the hook; he never sends anything and never has.  And that's ok.  I was rummaging through my mind trying to find something to talk about.  Christmas is on my mind.  He had already gone through his medical history and upcoming appointments.  He was wanting to get rid of me so that he could go to the VFW.  Some things just don't change.  Thankfully the spot in his lung has not grown, so they are now going to pursue his knee replacements - only he went ahead and got the cortisone shots in his knees they were so painful - and now has to wait 3 months for surgery.  After another CT scan for his lung.  I tell him I'm praying for him, but I don't think it phases him.

I love you Lord, for Your mercies never fail me. All my days, I've been held in Your hands. From the moment that I wake up, until I lay my head, Oh, I will sing of the goodness of God.

All my life You have been faithful. And all my life you have been so, so good. With every breath that I am able, Oh, I will sing of the goodness of God.

I love Your voice.  You have led me through the fire.  In the darkest night, You are close like no other. I've known you as a Father.  I 've known you as a Friend.  And I have lived in the goodness of God.

And all my life You have been faithful.  All my life you have been so, so good.  With every breath that I am able, Oh, I will sing of the goodness of God.    (lyrics to part of the Goodness of God)

Do you ever stop and think about how good God has been, and is, to you?  I can look back over my life and even in the darkest times, I can see His hand has been upon me.  He guided me in times that I could have been totally lost in the world.  He stayed me by His hand.  Yes, He did let me falter for a couple years, but even then, He protected me.  I learned in those years that having Jesus in my heart and being obedient to Him was more important than me wallowing in what the world has to offer.  It has nothing, compared to all the blessings and goodness of our God.  He is so faithful; He is so much closer than our best friend.  He supplies all that we need, physically, mentally, and spiritually.  You want to know why I love Jesus so much?  Because He saved me from myself.  I was a mess, and He took this poor, wayward, worth nothing young woman, and picked me up and set my feet on His solid ground.  I will never stop praising Him.

Blessings!

I thought it might be a dud....

 but God.  He took the message that I wasn't quite sure how it would come out - and spoke to people through it.  More people then ever, I think, commented on it as they went out the door, saying that it spoke to them.  I even had one text me afterwards that she felt I was speaking right at her!  And it could only be God.  I was just the deliverer of the message; it was God speaking to His people.  Thank you, Lord.

He also was with us as we went to Mesa.  We made good time getting down to Mesa and stopped for lunch at a Mexican restaurant called Nando's near the assisted living place.  Oh.my.goodness.  We both got the lunch plate... I got the 'Pollo Rico' which is like the El Pollo Asada (whatever it is called) at Garcia's or Top Shelf.  The LUNCH plate was as big as the DINNER plate at other places.  I still had two chicken burros (?) covered in a jalapeno cream cheese sauce and rice and beans... and no, I couldn't eat it all!  Guess what is for lunch today!  Hubby had a steak carne asada and could not eat it all.  I am sure he is thinking he gets it all for lunch today... but I may fool him and eat my own chicken and leave him what he had for leftovers.  It was so good and we were impressed with the place.  It wasn't bad price wise for the lunch plate - $12 for me; hubby, because he wanted steak carne asada, was about $15.50.  More than enough food, our waiter was awesome, and we enjoyed the lunch.

We made it to the assisted living place and went to the dining room where the service was to be held.  Since my boss' dad was the first tenant at the assisted living, he knew everyone, was the 'welcome ambassador', and was so friendly to everyone.... the dining room was full of not only residents, but employees who wanted to honor him.  The service went well; God worked through the words I had to share; and the AL provided sandwiches and fruit, veggies, nuts, sodas, water and tea for everyone as their way to honor him.  We finally left about 3:30PM and headed back home.  It was a little over an hour's drive.  I had told my boss I was doing it because I loved her dad.  I had met him a few times over the years.  I wanted to honor him.  My boss gave me a card when I got there and I put it away until on the way home I opened it to read it.  She wrote a very nice thank you... and had put money in it... which I didn't expect.  I understand why... and it is appreciated... but the thank you note was enough.

Unless the RV park I spoke at yesterday calls me to speak again (They are extending services through Easter), I am done for the season at this park.  I have one more time at the RV park up north, and that is one I will be working on for the next couple weeks.  Then I will be done for the season.  I think November 12 is the start for the next season for me.  Yep, this RV park already has me scheduled once a month for the next season.

Philippians 4:19 (NIV):  "And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of His glory in Christ Jesus."

That scripture has popped in to my mind this morning.  I think back over the past when hubby and I struggled financially for years, and yet, God always provided what we needed.  We screwed things up a lot of times by going after the things we WANTED, but He always met us for what we needed. And He continues to provide what we need to this day.  I am so grateful that He loves us and watches over us.

And He loves you and watches over you as well.  So many people take things for granted.  They may always have lots of food to eat; they may always have money to do whatever they want to with... but do they realize what a blessing that is?  I can remember when going to Burger King after church on Sundays was a treat for us!  We have become a greedy group of people, always wanting things and not seeking diligently after the heart of God.

People do not realize how much God wants to bless them.  All He asks is that you accept Him as Lord of your life, and give Him the honor due Him.  To love Him; to worship Him as Lord.  We tend to put so many other things before Him.... and that is our failure in life.  We may - or may not  - have success in the things we do without Him... but when you dedicate your life and your family to Him,  He will walk the journey of life with you and it will be so much more successful.  You will never be in need, for He says He will meet all your needs.  But our God is a jealous God... He must be first in your life.  We are not to put anything in front of Him.

Anything means anything.  Not money. Not desires. Not projects. Not jobs. Not people. Not anything.  We are not to love anything more than Him.

Sound impossible?  If you love God first, then He will give you the desires of your heart for your enjoyment.  But sometimes also, what you think are your desires may not be what God wants for you and to give you.  He sees the big picture of our desires and if it will be good for us or not.  He doesn't want to harm us or cause us problems; He wants to bless us.  But He must be first.

It really isn't hard to let God be first in our lives.  How I wish I had known way back when what I know now!  If I had put God first... if I had been taught about God when I was a child and knew His ways, oh how my life would have been so different!  But God still watched over me and took me to where I would run back to Him and seek Him only and put Him first.  If all I have is taken away, I still will have Jesus.  No one can take Him away from me.

Back to work today - timecard Monday - but since they took one department away from me - timecards are so easy as they are all salaried employees.  I can approve without them approving their cards as I can see if they put in for PTO or not.  So much easier.  

We are planning a trip to Tucson next Saturday.  I'm still paying a lot for a hotel room, but I want to go see my granddaughter and her family.  I don't want to go all year and not see them until Christmas.  I've got to make the effort to see my grandchildren more.  I know they are busy - as I am - but I need to reach out.  Christmas to Christmas with them being near us is far too long. That is my goal this year - to see them more often.  We'll be heading down mid-day to Tucson, visit our granddaughter, check in at the hotel, go back and visit and have dinner with them.  Overnight at the hotel and in the morning we plan to just stay in and read our Bibles and have a 'retreat' time.  After we check out, will stop by and see them as we head back out of town.  I don't want to be an inconvenience to them; but do want to see them and appreciate them taking time out of their busy schedules to see us.

I hope to be able to contact our former neighbor today.  Hubby has made no effort to return his call. When hubby was in the bathroom the other night I grabbed his phone and verified that I had the right number.  I hope to make contact with John today and see if all is ok.  I really want to see him face-to-face so that I can get information from him and make sure we will know if something happens to him. I know John cares about us and would help us if we ever needed him.  But he and hubby just didn't hit it off... he would try to offer help (wisdom) to hubby - and it was resented... oh well - another story another day.

Need to get my thoughts together for another day.  A new employee has been hired and I need to order equipment for him.  Another part of this job that I don't care for.  So many forms to get a new employee taken care of.  Why can't they just have one form and you put all the information on that one form?  It would be so much easier.  Last time I was told I ordered (and they shipped) a double order of monitors.  I can see how that happened - but daggone it - if I didn't have so many forms to fill out to order equipment and things, it wouldn't have happened! UGH.

Hope that your day is a ...

Blessing!

God's Got This!

 I mentioned yesterday morning how I was already coughing and sneezing and how I was concerned about preaching at the RV Park - well - this is what happens when one asks God to help; to take over.  The entire time I was at the RV park, not a sniffle, not a sneeze, not a cough.  I was able to speak clearly without any problems.  Once I got back in the car afterwards - yep - it started again.  Grateful.  COVID is going around in the park again and I didn't want anyone to be afraid I was bringing it.  The service went well, I think. I get a couple weeks 'off' then we head up to a RV park up north a little ways.  Then I'm 'off' until New Years Day.

I did something I felt I needed to do.  Rather, I said something. Hubby complains (frequently to me) that he isn't asked to speak as often as I am.  He frequently makes 'comments' to different ones about his lack of being asked to speak more often.  (He has one speaking engagement at each location this year)  It's embarrassing sometimes for me, cause he will seek compliments as well.  "Well, so and so says it was good, why are they not asking me to speak more often?"  Last year, up north, they were taping the messages and posting on You Tube.  After he spoke, I sent it to him so that he could listen.  He speaks in a monotone voice; no expression, and well, one could easily fall asleep.  He agreed; it wasn't real good, in spite of any compliments he got.

Now I'm not sharing this to put him down ,,, I'm just sharing.  And, I may go back and delete it if I can come up with anything else to write about. But this is on my mind this morning.  A week ago I saw him talking to the 'leader' of the RV park.  Later he shared that he had asked her 'candidly' about how he could improve his speaking so that he would be asked more often.  It made me uncomfortable when he told me about it, but I didn't say anything to him.  Yesterday I went over and was talking to her and she asked if hubby could attend a toastmasters group.  I told her he had, several years ago.  Then she told me about the conversation last week.  This woman is a motivational speaker; she knows how to speak in public places.  She said she would bring his request back to the board and ask what they wanted to do (the church board actually decides who will speak when).  I looked at her and I just said, "Barb, may I just say to you, 'don't worry about it'?  It's OK.  He's 85 years old; he is getting slower in many ways.  We don't know what this next year will bring.  Please do not let it worry you."  She looked at me and said "Thank you.  We love Tom, but really I have to go by what the board decides."   The Board meets every Tuesday and discusses each sermon.  I told her that if I was not reaching the people with the messages I bring, then please, do not fear telling me I am not needed.  I am ok with it.   She shared she had to write a letter to one preacher last year who was starting to get dementia and he actually got angry they weren't going to use him any more.  We know the people in this RV park love us; we've been going there since about 2011.  We are fairly close friends with most and have gone out to meals with some of the couples.  

Don't think I'm crazy - but as I wrote the above, this song just came in to my mind.... here is a line of the lyrics..... from The Gambler.

"You got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em. Know when to walk away and know when to run."

I looked it up.  Written by Don Schlitz many years ago, this song became very popular when Kenny Rogers sang it.  Don Schlitz said that it was a comment his father had taught him - but it had to do with business.  You need to know when to keep someone, and when to let them go.  Interesting, don't you think?

As I read in my devotional this morning, something resonated; perhaps it will for you as well.  "All of us have impossible people in our lives. All we can do is circle them in prayer. It's the only way to keep our attitude in check. And prayer has the power to change the heart of Pharaoh. So every time I got angry, I converted it into a prayer.  I think it's the closest I've ever come to praying without ceasing because I was angry all the time."   Most of us have 'those people' in our lives who either irritate us or drive us crazy, right?  Some people came to mind as I read that - and it probably happened to you as well.  So what do you do with that?

Do you allow it to make you angry all over again?  Did you know that the more you shoot out a 'sentence prayer' to God to work in these people, to take care of them, to bless them, that you will find the thought of them don't irritate you near as much?  It doesn't mean you will become friends; but it keeps you from being in bondage of your hatred and anger at them.  As long as we hold on to our feelings of anger or hatred, we are held in bondage to the people we are angry at - and they don't even know it!  Some days I find myself sending up minute prayers frequently.  Yeah.... I DO have people who irritate me and even make me angry.  Imagine that!  Most often it is people who have hurt me in one way or another.... it is easy to pray for them, for it makes my heart not hurt so badly.  Prayer does that, ya know.  Even just a sentence prayer or two.

Wrapped a few more Christmas gifts last night.... I think I'm through with the two boys and their families.  Got my little sister's and in-laws wrapped and packed and they are ready to go out in the mail today.  Need to start on my daughter's and her families gifts now.  Little by little I'm getting these things done.  I do need to go get more wrapping paper.  Still using from what I bought two years ago... and I'm finally getting to the end of it, I think.   I'm slowly reclaiming the bed back here.  

I probably should get on the work computer early today... last time I checked, I had 101 messages.  Wish some people would not work weekends!  I have much to do - issues with scheduling the board retreat - and now I need to find another venue.  Must get that resolved today for sure.  UGH.  Things like this really make me want to retire NOW.  

Today is a new day - make the best of it!  Rejoice in it, for God has given you this day.  Do good today. Bless someone.  Be kind.

Blessings!