Do I really have to work today?

 I've got some 'little things' that I want to do... heaven forbid that I should do them in the evenings!  I mean, I know what I want to do... but it is always during the day I want to do them!  Come evening, the thought totally slips my mind!  Perhaps I need to start writing things on a board or something and put it where I can see it.  And then walk away from it. Sigh.  What are some of the things I want to do?  

Well, there is my diamond art projects. I do enjoy them a lot, and have a few yet to work on.  They definitely are time-consuming and take up my table so I have to plan carefully on those.  I want to get back into making cheater quilts for Christmas gifts for friends... and that takes time. I 'should' just bring out my sewing machine. It still takes time, but a lot less if I use the machine. In all honesty, I haven't sewn by machine for so many years, I need to take a refresher course on how to sew.  And I love to sew!  I love to be creative and make things (and give away, of course!).  I want to do a lot of baking. A lot of cooking. I want to exercise more. I want to write letters to friends. I want to declutter. A lot of 'declutter'! Sigh. And so much more 'I want to'!  (and then there is learn more crochet and knitting skills)

I really can't blame work taking up my time. I keep thinking of how much time I have gained with working from home. Seriously.  One hour in the morning, two hours home - that is three hours!!  But I think part of the difference is that I go to bed at 8:30 (ish) now - which eliminates that three hours I gained by working from home.  Still get up about the usual time.  I just get so sleepy in the evenings that my body starts shutting down at 8:30p.  Maybe I need to keep active; it may take 3 weeks to get back in sync, but that is what it takes to change a habit.  I used to stay up to 11-12p and get up at 4a.  The first hour was my quiet time, the second hour was getting dressed. I was out the door by 6a.  I need to think this through.  I know one thing, I can't just sit and read in the evenings for I do get very sleepy.  I need something to keep my mind active.... I'm going to think on this.  I'm not getting anything done I really want to do. It frustrates me and makes me unhappy.  I feel like I am losing myself.  And I have no one to blame but myself.  Hubby goes to bed early, so I follow just to keep peace. Now I am feeling lazy.  I need to stop this. I want to take a class or study.  I need to figure out how to do this so I can get the most out of it.  It will be a change, but I need to make it. I need to do it for me. I need to do it to feel like I'm still living and not just work all day and watch TV/read and then go to bed. There is more to life and I'm tired of missing it!  I loved not driving to work in the mornings cause I get up at the same time and have 2-3 hours (depending if I get up at 4 or 5) to spend with God each morning. I won't give that up. That sets up my day. But my evenings, I need to redo. I need to realign.  I need to find myself.

I guess I just don't want to get in a routine where I'm not living life, but just going through it.  Does that make sense?  I have gone at this many times over the years, I think. It all sounds familiar. But I have to do something different.  I guess I think of it as well as getting 'old' - and you know how I fight against that.  Not about age wise; I'm proud that (uh oh - that word again!) God has allowed me to live this long.  Maybe I should just say that I'm 'excited' that God has allowed me to live this long!  But I don't want to get in a rut where I can't do anything. Does that make sense?  Ok, enough about me.

Went to the oncologist yesterday morning with hubby and talked with the assistant. She is a lot more understanding and thorough than the doctor is.  In fact, we saw him twice in the hallway and both times he adverted his eyes. What's up with that?  Anyway, the appointment was for hubby to share what side effects he was having with the 4 pills a day (I've got to look it up, it starts with an 'x') the doctor prescribed for him last month.  He never picked up the prescription because he didn't want to take the pills. I think I mentioned yesterday that Dr. Mark had asked him, "Do you want quality of life or quantity of life?"  The side effects, known, for these 4 pills a day is dizziness, weakness, high blood pressure, sweats, and who knows how else it could affect hubby.  We discussed it all with the assistant and she was so good at letting hubby talk (funny, every time he would say he didn't want to take them, he'd look at me for confirmation) with his reasons and thoughts about it. His PSA did go up about 600th of a point, the assistant said.  I forget the actual numbers, but in the past six months, it has been going up each month but never a point yet.  So, she agreed with him and said that they will do another meeting in 3 months and see where his PSA is at that time.  If it has gone up slowly as it has been, they can wait longer. But if it does a big jump, it may require another discussion about the pills.  The Lupron shots give him cold sweats but he's gotten used to those.  Personally, I think they have sucked the life out of him.  To get him to do anything is a battle, even things he enjoys doing.

He fights me on things. For example, after work I cooked dinner (as usual).  He is supposed to do the dishes, although I do all the pans (cause he will leave them to soak even when they don't need it) and sometimes also the glass dishes/bowls that I use.  All he ends up with are the plates, glasses and silverware used.  Anyway, the dishwasher was full, I had already noticed that.  I wouldn't have said anything if he hadn't.  After dinner I went into the front room and grabbed a book.  He does his thing in the kitchen and comes in and says "I'll run the dishwasher in the morning".  I just asked, "Why don't you run it tonight?" Then he starts in about how it will heat up the kitchen, etc. So then I come back with 'Let it heat up the kitchen tonight; why let it heat up the kitchen in the morning when we are in and out of it?" He started arguing with me about when to run the dishwasher and why do I always have to contradict him.... I just looked at him and told him it makes no sense to put it off because we won't be in the kitchen later that night, but in the morning we will be in and out.  He stormed - literally! - out of the front room, stomping his feet and went and turned on the dishwasher.  He was so angry at me!  He got over it of course.  But it is these little things that set him off at me.  Is it still about 'control'?  Who knows.  I probably would have gone in and turned it on if he hadn't said anything.  Maybe it is because his 'job' is also putting the dishes away when they are done, and if they are clean last night, then he will be 'required' to put them away this morning?  If he has a gym appointment this morning, I may just go in and do it, as I often do. It takes five minutes, but for him you would think it takes an hour. Sigh. Ok - enough.

Work wasn't too bad yesterday.  (sorry, had to get on the work computer!)   Only I got 'assigned to arrange airline travel and hotel and conference, etc.... and I don't like doing those!  I did think of retirement.....  But, it is something I have to do.  Only I couldn't cause I wasn't a delegate and there were other issues.... so I am dealing with that this morning.... sigh.  Hopefully I can get it done fairly quickly. Have a few other things to do too. I guess they want me to earn my pay!  Speaking of work.... Sue has only 3 more days.... technically 4, but she plans to go to the office on Friday and turn in her work computer and whatever else she has from the company. Not much, I'm sure.  Anyway, she is officially retiring on Monday - but like she said, what are they going to do?  So she's turning her computer in on Friday afternoon.  That actually works out for me. I've been playing with taking the day off as I am having lunch with my son, but.... I can just ask for time off without using my PTO time and work the morning. See how I'm figuring this out?  Sue is turning in her computer, Kristine, the interim, is still on vacation.... I can check messages when I get back.  Perfect, right?  I just need to run it by Sue sometime before Friday. :-) And hopefully I don't have a lot of work to get done.

Have I done a lot of complaining about work and hubby this morning?  Seems like I should just delete this entire thing and start over. But then, this is my life..... shouldn't I be able to share my 'life' with you?

Psalm 119:165 (ESV):  Great peace have those who love your law; nothing can make them stumble.

Ok - now 'great peace' and 'loving God's law' does not mean there won't be struggles.  I love God's law and do my best to follow it. I often have peace in my life.  But some days.... well, perhaps I am wrong. I don't really count it a 'stumble', but it depends on what I do with what I love about God's law. I guess, right?  Then of course there is....

Philippians 2:14 (ESV):  Do all things without grumbling or disputing.

And if you don't get it that way.... read how it is said in The Message!

Philippians 2:14 (MSG):  Do everything readily and cheerfully - no bickering, no second-guessing allowed! 

So what are we going to choose today?  Have peace; don't bicker; do what you are supposed to do cheerfully - and even go one step further!  Be kind. Show people who you are in Christ by the way you speak, the way you act, the way you have peace. Do not live two lives.  People see both sides.

And with that - I'm off here!  Have an amazing day - and be kind to others. You don't know what they are going through.

Blessings!

It was a quiet day

 Yeah, with Sue gone to Aruba for a week, I think I only had one meeting to schedule yesterday - and that was from Kynda, another leader I support.  She gave me the list of who all needed to be in it, and said ASAP; definitely this week. Oh great. With our president in it, I thought it would be very difficult to pull about - especially since she really wanted 50 minutes, and not the usual 30.  Amazingly, I found 8-8:50a this morning for this meeting - and everyone was open!  There must have been a meeting there and it got cancelled.  Thank you, Jesus!  He knew I needed a large gap - and He provided!  Other than that, I went through a few folders and deleted some items that I no longer needed to hang on to.  I should have been more productive, but wasn't.  I did have my 10:30a with Morgan and we worked on the back.  Feeling it a bit this morning too.  Today will be HIIT, and she said she will start with one of the first ones I did, which is a 'light' HIIT and then we can work up.  I just don't know that I could get 3 sets of 12 flips for that big tire like I was doing.  I know I've told you it was 175 pounds... and yes, I'm proud that I could flip it!  For me, at 76 years old, it is a big accomplishment!

I heard of two more retirements happening this year earlier this week. I'll share more about those another time.  I am 'close' (sorta) to both. One I have supported in the past, and the other, well, I help as I am needed.  Anyway, that makes Sue, Angie, Therese, and a couple others whose names I can't remember.  And now Shanee at the end of the year, and one other, that I have been asked not to share just yet. I don't think anyone from the office reads this, but will wait a bit on that announcement for I also have a comment about it.  And about waiting on God.  A whole 'nother topic!

I hear the landscapers (if that is what you want to call them!) outside this morning. One mowing the 'non-grass' (meaning there isn't much to mow), and the other blowing dirt around. Since they cut back our trees earlier this year - and they all have grown back beautifully, I will admit, we haven't had the leaves as in the past.  But this one guy's job is to come into each courtyard and blow whatever is in the courtyard - 'out' - but not really. Just blows into the bushes, I think.  If I ever get the gumption, I will get MY blower out and get the leaves out of the rocks that he blows whatever in to.  I really want to redo the courtyard... but that can wait until my retirement - if that ever happens before I die.

But then, speaking of retirement, again.... I was sitting here thinking about it during my prayers this morning.  My life really would not change much if I retired now.  I'd lose a lot of money by retiring.  My play money.  My helping out money. My giving money.  Yes, I could go out and sit under the umbrella and have a second cup of coffee in the early morning hours.  Yes, I could do whatever I wanted to during the day.  But I know that I would soon get restless and bored. 40+ years of sitting behind a desk and in front of a computer will be hard to break.  Hubby won't 'let' me DO anything that he can't do.... so there is that.  He is doing better, but still.....

Last night, without asking, he left the TV off.  I worked on my diamond art (about 1/4 to go on it) for a little bit, then sat down and finished a book.  Goodreads shows I'm two books ahead towards my goal of 50.  Since we usually go to bed around 8:30-9p, I don't have much time to get much of anything done. Of course if I was retired, I could go to bed later, cause I could get up later.   I just feel so lazy with not being involved in things as I was 10 years or more ago. I'd be up burning the midnight oil, and still up at 5a to do my quiet time and head to work. 

I really do miss going into the office.  I miss the social interactions I had with everyone.  Now I get 'let's have lunch sometime' - and I'm willing to, but they live in the east valley and for us to even meet halfway, it would again take 3 hours out of my day, counting travel time.  When we were in the office, or even from where I used to live, it wouldn't have been so much time. But now, I really can't justify (except with Sue) being out of the 'office' for three - four hours.  And once Sue is retired, well, we will have to switch to Saturdays for our get togethers.  Work is changing.  I hear rumors of 'buy outs' and yet, I schedule meetings with outside vendors to bring them in and upgrade things. I don't know what is going on. I'm 'high enough' on the ladders to hear rumors, but not high enough to get facts. And I'm nosey.  What is going on that everyone is retiring? Or leaving?  

Lately my prayers have been that when it is time for me to retire from this company, that God would make it plain to me "it's time".  But I have to have something to fill my time; not sit at home, regardless of what needs to be done here.  I still would like to move to a stand alone house where we don't have to pay the HOA $405/month (which is the highest in this area and they explain it is because there are only 22 units in this section - so shouldn't it be the lowest?) to pay our water bill (which they manage, by the way, on timers, except inside the house), and mow the non-grass. Trim the trees. UGH. I want my own place for which I am responsible for!  

Psalms 18:1-3:  I love you, LORD; you ae my strength. The LORD is my rock, my fortress, and my savior; my God is my rock, in whom I find protection. He is my shield, the power that saves me, and my place of safety.

When was the last time that you spent time just adoring God?  Everything we have is a gift from Him. Sure, you may have paid for it, or earned it, but still, it is from God.  When was the last time you thanked Him for what you have - your family, your job, your cars, your home, your finances... all that you have is from Him.  As Job said, "The Lord gives, and the Lord takes away.  Blessed be the name of the LORD.". 

Why not take a moment now and just pause.  Think of all you have, and thank God for His provision.

And.... I gotta get to work!  Good thing I don't have to drive!  Have an AMAZING day!

Blessings

Where is my mind?

 Yeah, Yeah, I'm late typing in here this morning.  But, I think I will start typing in my work computer as 1) it doesn't interfere with my quiet time (where I keep an eye on the clock and at a certain time I need to 'stop' and write in here), 2) It's much easier to type in here and keep an eye on things.  So that's my excuse and in spite of the fact I kept falling asleep this morning (and losing time!) I am at least writing!

Our quail nest has grown to 4 eggs now.  I've ordered a camera (I hope the right one!) to install to where we can watch when the eggs hatch!  The camera will be here on Friday.  I keep watching for the mama, but have only caught her on the nest one time.  Yesterday I checked and there was only 3 eggs, but after I went to the gym, I checked again - and there were 4!  I'm on 'Quail Watch'!  LOL

I got excused from jury duty.  After all my stress and worry about it over the weekend, I went online yesterday and did the questionnaire - and at the end if asked if I wanted to be excused and there was a drop down for the 'excuses'.  One of them was 75 and older.  First time I've ever been excited to be over 75!  I clicked that button and immediately got a 'you are excused and do not need to appear' message.  So happy it was that easy - and now I don't have to worry about it anymore.  I was also able to make that notice 'permanent'.  I don't think my age is going to go backwards.  

Hubby is going to be busy today - 9am gym; 10am eye doctor; 2pm echo.  Then tonight he has the bible study at church at 7pm.  I get time for me!  Whoo hoo!  LOL  It's the little moments that count, right?  

Ironically, yesterday I was thinking more and more about retirement. The whole ordeal with the timecard on the guy who took maternity leave - I never got a response from anyone until about 2:30pm which was past the deadline for the timecards and I couldn't change anything. Plus they didn't give me any instructions on how to fix it.  He's getting a regular paycheck as if he worked.  Although I didn't approve his timecard either.  UGH.  It started during that time as I was so frustrated that I couldn't get the information I needed - and I found out that all the emails had been going to Brett - and he hadn't bothered to forward them.  Sigh.  Communication with me is not one of his skills.  Oh once in awhile he will call me and update me on his accomplishments and dreams - but update me on what I need to be doing? not his specialty, and it annoys me.  So yeah, I am thinking retirement again.  Still looking at November 20th.  And then, I'm thinking that in January I will start looking for a part-time or even full-time job here in my area to where I could even go in to the office part time and work and be with other people - but take off if I need to (think hubby's appointments, days off, etc.).  As long as we have enough money to live off of comfortably, we don't need to have a huge income.  Right?  But then I think about the 'cush' job that I currently have where I work at home, can usually take off for hubby's appointments, can take time off.... is it just the work I don't care for?  Doesn't mean it will be any different any other place, does it.  Sigh. Oh what to do!  

I need to dig out my hummingbird feeders.  I had mentioned to my brother that I didn't have any flowers to draw them this year - so he ordered me a pot (smart aleck had to say 'without eggs') and some flower seeds.  It's the little things he does for me that I love so much!  He always surprises me with things - not always - but occasionally.  It's fun to get a surprise gift from him.  

Which reminds me.  He told me it was 75 in Indiana on Sunday.  Yesterday he sent me a video - it was minus 3 wind chill and snowing - sent me a video of the snow coming down and staying on the ground!  Good ole' Indiana weather. If you don't like it, just wait a little bit; it will change!

And - I'm drawing a blank as to what to write this morning - need to get re-focused on work stuff.  Still have one set of board minutes to create. Oh joy.  At least no more meetings until the end of April.   So - with that - I'm off here!

Be kind to someone today - you don't know what trials they are going through!

Blessings!

I can't believe I slept all night!

 I am usually awake 2-4 hours after going to sleep - but last night, I believe I slept all night!  And a deep sleep at that!  When I awoke this morning, I got up and hit the bathroom as usual.  I didn't look at the clock (actually, I couldn't get my eyes open enough to read it.  When I got back in bed, I looked again and it was 4:23AM.  Time to get up - but I just climbed back into bed!  I didn't want to get up!  But then, I must have awakened hubby when I got up as he started the sighing and moving very slowly, turning this way and that, and finally, it is just wiser for me to get up at that point for there is no way he is going to sleep.  He won't get up until he has to go to the bathroom, but will lay there and sigh, (and he says) afraid of waking me up.  It's just easier to just get up and snuggle down in here.  Which I would have liked to do this morning, but he got up right after I did and would bring my coffee in.  I did have a few minutes though that I could leave the light off and just sink into my chair and continue to 'wake up'.

Church was really good yesterday and I did something.  Yesterday, as I was reading my Bible and praying, I felt like God was telling me that it was time for me to 'step up' at church and get involved more, do more, etc.  I have the Messenger X app on my phone and up popped "it is time for you to level up'.  So when I saw Pastor John, I told him that I felt God was telling me it is time to step up and I had a great message on Gratitude if he wanted a break in speaking.  Not sure how much of my comment he heard, but I said it, and it has been said. I won't mention it any more.  Will see where that goes from here.  I love to preach and share about Jesus. And I felt good yesterday when I shared with him.  Of course I've never preached three services before so that would be a big change for me.  But, I don't know that he would ever let me preach, either.  Not worrying about it.  When we met for lunch several months ago, they told us to let them know when we were ready to get involved because they had places to put us.  I've been quiet, until yesterday.  I put it out there and now I've done my part.  The only Sunday in the new future I'm 'open' is next Sunday, as December is right around the corner and I have 3 Sundays taken with preaching at the RV parks.  Which tells me I need to get busy on the messages, right?

It's Monday again and both bosses are working today.  My big bosses that is.  I have 3-4 others that I support as well, but they aren't the 'big bosses'.  I know I have several messages to look at, and meetings to finish that I requested information on last Friday, but I will take it one day at a time.  This is a busy time here at home with family - and this is a three day week (hallelujah!) - and I can only do so much each day, right?  Plus tonight I have training at 5PM and we are meeting friends for dinner at 5:30PM. Yeah, I'll be late, but I told hubby to go there and talk with them until I can get there, which will be about 15 minutes later. 'It is what it is', right?  

The turkey has been in the refrigerator since last Friday and I'm glad. I checked it out yesterday and it was still pretty frozen on the outside, so know it is on the inside as well.  I moved it to the kitchen refrigerator as it isn't quite as cold as the one in the laundry room.  It should be completed thawed out by Thursday morning.  I'd like to get a smaller turkey after Thursday and keep in freezer for another time.  I have a big grocery list to order online, which I will probably do tomorrow to make sure I have everything I need.  No time to go to grocery today.

Yesterday was somewhat productive and I was tired afterwards, although it didn't seem like I did much.  But, I've lost a tree.  The one that I put on the table outside on the porch.  I think it may be in a box in the far corner of the garage, that I have 50K things in front of it.  So no, I'm not going to clean it out to find it. I'll check around on what's on sale - I only need a 2-3 ft one with out lights - how hard can that be to find. Then I need to get Lil' Debbie treats to put in a bowl.  Although I pretty much limit my shopping deliveries to Tuesday now, and I am about done with shopping, I like to have some snacks there should anyone want.  The tree?  It's my 'wishing tree' - touch a branch and make a wish.  

I remember last Christmas when we had one of our great-granddaughters still, and as she left, she touched the tree branch and at 4 years old, broke my heart when I leaned in to hear her wish "Jesus, will you please give me a family that I can stay with forever."  I may not be remembering the exact words, but you get the jest of it.  She wanted a family.  And it breaks my heart that we have not been able to see her at all since she was taken away unjustly.  Sometimes the courts are not for the children.  People get a burr up their behinds and they want to defy those who want the children and care for them.  And they have the power to do so. But I'm praying that Jesus will intervene and give our family back our great-grandchildren.  

I did get the big tree up, and the tree by the front door yesterday.  So the three trees in the house have been put up.  I didn't cook yesterday other than heating chili up for lunch. Hubby and I both snacked for dinner.  We watched Christmas movies after he watched the football games and some NCIS.  I crochet'd of course. That's what I do while watching movies.  I need to get to Michael's for more yarn - not that I need yarn, but I do need some specific colors that I don't have for Christmas project.

Acts 4:13 (NKJV):  Now when they saw the boldness of Peter and John, and perceived that they were uneducated and  untrained men, they marveled.  And they realized that they had been with Jesus.

I love this verse because it gives me confidence - not in myself, but in God to use me for His glory.  I, too, am 'uneducated' and 'untrained' in many areas.  I've had some training as far as putting messages together, preaching, etc., but I could never 'lead' a church like many can.   I may not preach at theologically as some pastors, but I am willing to share what God has put on my heart and speak in truth. I want to be an empty vessel that God will fill up as He needs me to step up, that I will be used for His glory alone.  I want to be seen as 'a woman wo has been with Jesus'.  That is my heart's desire, more than anything else.  That my life reflects Jesus alone.  People who truly know me may roll their eyes for they know my many mistakes and attitudes about things.... but I hope they also know that my heart always wants to reflect Jesus, whether I 'let it' or not.  

So I pray for boldness to speak God's Word wherever I go.  LOL Ironically, that's a lot of times that hubby gets upset with me because I tend to monopolize the conversation.  Get me talking about Jesus and what He has done in and through those around me - and even in me - and I can't stop talking about His faithfulness and goodness.  It brings me great joy to share about Jesus.  How can I be still and let someone else speak?  LOL  Oh well.  If God wants me to be silent, He will shut my mouth.  In the meantime....

And with that - I need to get off here and get ready for work.  Hopefully it won't be too busy and I can get some more gifts wrapped today.  My goal is by the end of the week I can have all these packages wrapped and under the trees.  Tomorrow will bring a lot more packages so I need to get these out of the way so I can throw the new stuff upon the bed.  And yes, I wrap them all.  Only have a few packages to mail this year and I would like to get those out in a couple weeks.  Maybe next weekend if I have them all done - but I also need to do more baking before I do.  I send my siblings my homemade goodies because although one sister-in-law may bake, I know the other two siblings don't do that - so I want to get things together to send to them.  My lil' sister and I agreed to just one cookbook for Christmas this year.  She wants me to wait a couple weeks until she gets her SS check so she can order my cookbook - I told her I wanted one on casseroles.  She had told me desserts but has now changed her mind so I told her to let me know in a week or so what she wants.  Amazon can ship for me.  But I will still mail a package with my bread and jam as her hubby can only taste my bread (so I've been told) when he has his chemo - which is now 3x a week since his cancer has come back.  He may get two small loaves. :-)

It's a short week and I hope that you get the things completed you want to.  My list just keeps growing! Enjoy your day - this year has gone by so fast - we need to enjoy each moment.

Blessings!

A new day has dawned....

 Fortunately - or unfortunately - it is also another work day.  Yesterday was not bad at all.  My favorite boss was on PTO again.  My male boss only sent me one email.  All day long.  He still hasn't answered my email about me taking on both boards.  I get frustrated at him the most because he may - or may not - read my email - but he doesn't answer the critical questions I ask him.  He skims my emails and then may - or may not - respond.  On this last one - he has not responded. And that not only frustrates me, but irritates me.  He did call me last week to update me on some things; told me to keep it confidential, but he wants to take on more work at another level.  I cautioned him - not that I didn't think he could do the work as I'm sure he can, but his workload (which I get the majority of the meetings) is horrible and I reminded him that he needed to keep a work/life balance and needs to put the needs of his family first, not climbing the ladder.  Yes, I can be blunt at times.  He agreed with me, and as expected, did say he does put his family first because when he goes on PTO he unplugs.  Yet, I may get one or two emails that week he is off, so he doesn't totally unplug.  He knows I know it too.  Anyway - on to another topic.

I had training last night and then stopped at Fry's to pick up a small cake for Ms. Vicky for her birthday. I had thought I'd pick up Fry's fried chicken for dinner.... but as I looked at the chicken, it didn't seem fresh so I asked the man at the counter "how long ago was this chicken cooked?"  It was a young man (teen) and he looked around and then lowered his voice to say "honestly, it's been a couple hours."  I thanked him and passed on the fried chicken.  The baked chicken looked like it had a baked shell on, which was another reason it caused me to question the timeline.   So hubby and I had TV dinners last night, then I called Ms. Vicky and she wanted me to come over and visit.  I only stayed about 30 minutes but at least I got her cake to her so she knew I hadn't forgotten (although I did text her that morning).  I do need to check on Ms. Diane - two of her children's cars were there yesterday morning - and it is unusual for a weekday morning check-in.  I need to get over there, but life gets in the way. That and my laziness.

We didn't get the rain here that was predicted for about 4AM this morning.  Or if it did, it has already dried up.  Just saw a coyote walking down the street.  Saw on Next Door that someone in another neighborhood let their two small dogs out - and both were killed by a coyote.  You know there are coyotes out here. Why would you let your dogs out (very small dogs) out without supervision?    We have several people in this area who walk their little tiny dogs.  Keep on a leash and keep close if you want to keep them, right?

I had a question for Morgan, my trainer, last night.  "Why is it that in the mornings I can get up and put on shorts and a top and think all my workouts have finally paid off and I'm looking fairly decent, and my fat seems to have gone down..... and by mid-morning I'm thinking I need to put on longer pants and a baggy t-shirt because all my fat has decided to take a deep breath and hold it?  She understood exactly what I was saying and said she felt the same way most days!  Except she is pregnant right now so not sure how that applies. LOL  She killed my legs last night with squats and lunges.    

Uh oh - a man walking a small dog just started down the road where I saw the coyote pass.  I'm waiting for them to come back.  Ah - there he is.  He's coming back this way.  Good move.

Matthew 16:15-16 (NKJV):  He said to them, "But who do you say that I am?"  Simon Peter answered and said, "You are the Christ, the Son of the Living God."

Have you ever thought how you would answer that question?  If someone asked you "Who is Jesus?" - what would you respond?  Do you know who He is?  Do you know Him?

I'm sitting here pondering my own question and wonder how I would respond if asked. I think I would say that Jesus is the Son of God, which is the correct answer.  But, there is one word I don't think we often think about - Living.  Peter answered Jesus' question with "You are the Christ, the Son of the Living God."  Do we know Jesus as the Son of the Living God?

Do we mentally think that God is dead and no longer living?  Far from it!  God, our Heavenly Father, is very much alive and living.  He is all around us in all that we see.  God is in the very air we breathe, for He created it.  Jesus is the Christ, the Son of the Living God, whom we are told to go through to get to our Father.

I saw a joke on a reel last night that I found funny - but true.  Two people are talking and one says "I'm Christian."  The other says "I'm Catholic."  And the Christian said, well, I thought we were the same - and the conversation goes on that we as Christians can go to Jesus direct and tell Him all our problems, all our joys, all our concerns.  Catholics are taught to go to their priest, and he will intercede for them - or they can choose a saint for whatever their issue is and pray to that saint - starting with their guardian angel.  The reel was comical, but true.  They even have Mary, the mother of Jesus, to whom they can pray.  Michael, the Archangel to fight their battles.  We Christians can just go to Jesus and ask Him to fight them.  I think I like being a Christian much better.  Being a Christian gives you better access to Jesus, don't you think?  Plus the fact He is always with us, wherever we are.  Jesus never leaves us alone, even when we feel alone.  He is there with us, just waiting for us to call out to Him.

And that's what I love about Jesus.  No matter what I'm going through; no matter the struggle I feel that is smothering me, I know that I know - that Jesus is near, and that He sees me, and He knows me, and He loves me no matter what.  And He loves you too.  He loves you even when you sin.  Jesus can't look at your sin, but He waits for you to turn to Him.  His forgiveness is so great!  So freeing! So loving! So kind.

Uh oh - it's already 7AM so I need to jump off here and get on the work computer!  Lucky you, for I had started on another topic already - oh well, for another day!

Make today count.  Do something special for someone.  Reach out and touch someone (you know what I mean!) and make a difference in their life.  Encourage someone.  Build someone up.  Love someone.  Let them know they matter.  

Blessings!

I think I've messed up my sleep schedule

 With being off work, and staying up later, somehow my body is managing to sleep an hour or so longer, which makes up for the later hour of going to bed. But, with that, it is messing me up.  I either sleep well all night, or I'm awake most of the night. Last night was an awake night.  Tossing and turning, thinking of things I need to pay, things I need to do. Silly things at that. I threw off the covers a couple times because I was so sweaty.  I still blame all this on the bug bites.  And I still get pin pricks in that area.  I may be nuts, but I have found 2 more bumps like the bug bites - one on my neck, and one on my belly. Do I have a bug in my bed?  It's been a couple days now but maybe they will go away soon.  October 12th was the night I got bit.... don't you think that they would have been gone by now?

I made cookies last night and as I was using my new very sharp knife to cut nuts - the tip touched my little finger and put about a 1/2 inch gash in it - not deep so no worries there, but it took me awhile to stop the bleeding. Never told hubby, you know how he could be.  That knife is sharp!  But I am loving it for cutting up things - just need to learn to keep my fingers out of the way. It could easily cut off a finger with one swipe.

Hubby will be leaving soon for his training.  I don't go until tomorrow morning.  I think we will only have one half-hour session this week due to the holiday and our trainer taking some time off.  But, when I added the date and time to my phone calendar, it came up for 60 minutes so I'm not sure how long - but I think it will be 30 minutes, unless others of her clients cancelled and she has the time. I'm sure hubby will ask her about it this morning; you know how he loves to be in my business.

A granddaughter and great-granddaughter will be coming over this morning to bake cookies. I hope I have everything she will need for whatever she wants to bake.  It will be fun baking with them; although I don't bake, just sit around and talk.  I still have a couple batches of cookies to make for the 'cookie plates', and I will get it done soon.  

My daughter called yesterday after she realized that with us doing Christmas with them on Saturday, and they did Christmas with their children yesterday - we won't be gathering on Christmas Eve or Christmas - so she is planning a Christmas lunch and invited us to come over.  That is really switching things up as we usually don't leave the house on Christmas day.  So we will go there for lunch and that will be a nice treat. I had no plans to fix a big meal for us - we would probably be finishing up the lunchmeat from last Saturday! In fact, we may get that again today.  Still have some soup as well. 

Yesterday was totally off.  We got partially dressed for church, then watched Jentezen Franklin @ Free Chapel.  It was very good.  About 10:15 (cause he went way over), we started getting ready - and I was ready to go by 10:30, which was time to leave.  Hubby still wasn't dressed; he was in a frazzled state... and I realized even more that although the gym is making him stronger, his mind is not.  He finally got dressed (all he had done previously was shave) and was still 'running around' trying to get ready. It's at least a 12-15 minute drive to church.  It starts at 10:45AM.  At 10:35 he was dressed, but didn't have his shoes and socks on.  At 10:40AM I tell him that we will be about 10 minutes late.  He kept apologizing that he had not gotten ready more before watching the service.  He finally looks up and asks if he can take me to breakfast.  So instead of getting there 10-15 minutes late, we went to breakfast.  It was 11AM when we got there.   He was frustrated with himself because I had been ready to go on time (I had done my hair and makeup before the service; all I had to do was get dressed) and he wasn't. So we went to breakfast instead.  I talked with my daughter, my sister, and my little brother. And I baked one batch of cookies.  Hubby watched TV alone until I finished the cookies, and we watched some NCIS repeats.  That was our Sunday - so productive, right?  Well, at least I got cookies made and touched base with my siblings.

I did get on the work computer and got caught up on emails and meetings to schedule, approved all the timecards, and shut it down.  I'll keep track as the week goes by if I get a lot of things to do.  Being off work from last Friday until January 2nd is a long time for me.  I know I will be bored before too long - although I still have things I like to do - at least Christmas is done. No shopping, no more gifts coming in, all my wrapping is done.  Yeah, need to clear off this bed now.   Should bake something for the neighbors (after all, she brought me cookies)... my 'I don't want to' keeps overruling 'I should' in taking things to the neighbors.

I do need to start focusing on the message for Sunday too.  I have a very rough draft, and I need to go through it and make it work.  I have it here on my left to start on.... what is my scripture for the message?

John 13:34 (NKJV):  A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, you, that you also love one another.

One can read that scripture and think it means we should love only our children or our spouses, and yet, it doesn't really say that.  We can't love some people and not love others.  Sometimes the 'love' is only 'like', but we also need to be respectful and treat them with love. I'm messing this all up, I'm sure.  I'm tired this morning - already!  Ok - let's try this again.  Let's step outside of family.  We have some very close friends that we enjoy being with and we say that we 'love' them.  But what about those that are alone; those that don't have as much as we do.... do we love them as Jesus does?  Ok - I'm putting myself on a guilt trip here - I say I love Ms. Diane and Ms. Vicky, but for the past three months I feel like I have withdrawn and become a hermit... I've enclosed myself.... and I'm not sure why.  By not visiting (I have talked on the phone, but not often at all), am I still showing them love?  I visited at least every week or two weeks, I think... and now for three months - nothing. I've got to shake off this withdrawal from life; this load of depression I seem to be carrying around, and come alive again.  Will see how today goes; maybe I will visit at least one tonight.  See, even I have issues I have to deal with.

We are called to love others as Jesus loves us.  We all know that Jesus loves us - are we loving others the same way?  Or are we always pointing fingers of things done that we don't approve of?  Ouch.  I think we all have something to learn from that scripture.

Let's start today - let's love even the unlovely.  After all, sometimes we are unlovely and we would never accept someone not loving and caring for us.  Who can you show love to today that you haven't for awhile?  Maybe today is a good day to start.  I'm in - are you?

Blessings!

Addendum:  This is how 'messed up' I am this morning. Hubby brought my coffee in a little after 6AM.  I just saw my cup with the lid still on it (to keep it hot) and thought I should make another cup of coffee so that I could get started on the message. I pick up the cup  - here it is 8AM - and find it is still full.  I forgot to even drink the first cup!  Is this the sign of how my day may be going?  Lord, HELP!!

I thought it might be a dud....

 but God.  He took the message that I wasn't quite sure how it would come out - and spoke to people through it.  More people then ever, I think, commented on it as they went out the door, saying that it spoke to them.  I even had one text me afterwards that she felt I was speaking right at her!  And it could only be God.  I was just the deliverer of the message; it was God speaking to His people.  Thank you, Lord.

He also was with us as we went to Mesa.  We made good time getting down to Mesa and stopped for lunch at a Mexican restaurant called Nando's near the assisted living place.  Oh.my.goodness.  We both got the lunch plate... I got the 'Pollo Rico' which is like the El Pollo Asada (whatever it is called) at Garcia's or Top Shelf.  The LUNCH plate was as big as the DINNER plate at other places.  I still had two chicken burros (?) covered in a jalapeno cream cheese sauce and rice and beans... and no, I couldn't eat it all!  Guess what is for lunch today!  Hubby had a steak carne asada and could not eat it all.  I am sure he is thinking he gets it all for lunch today... but I may fool him and eat my own chicken and leave him what he had for leftovers.  It was so good and we were impressed with the place.  It wasn't bad price wise for the lunch plate - $12 for me; hubby, because he wanted steak carne asada, was about $15.50.  More than enough food, our waiter was awesome, and we enjoyed the lunch.

We made it to the assisted living place and went to the dining room where the service was to be held.  Since my boss' dad was the first tenant at the assisted living, he knew everyone, was the 'welcome ambassador', and was so friendly to everyone.... the dining room was full of not only residents, but employees who wanted to honor him.  The service went well; God worked through the words I had to share; and the AL provided sandwiches and fruit, veggies, nuts, sodas, water and tea for everyone as their way to honor him.  We finally left about 3:30PM and headed back home.  It was a little over an hour's drive.  I had told my boss I was doing it because I loved her dad.  I had met him a few times over the years.  I wanted to honor him.  My boss gave me a card when I got there and I put it away until on the way home I opened it to read it.  She wrote a very nice thank you... and had put money in it... which I didn't expect.  I understand why... and it is appreciated... but the thank you note was enough.

Unless the RV park I spoke at yesterday calls me to speak again (They are extending services through Easter), I am done for the season at this park.  I have one more time at the RV park up north, and that is one I will be working on for the next couple weeks.  Then I will be done for the season.  I think November 12 is the start for the next season for me.  Yep, this RV park already has me scheduled once a month for the next season.

Philippians 4:19 (NIV):  "And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of His glory in Christ Jesus."

That scripture has popped in to my mind this morning.  I think back over the past when hubby and I struggled financially for years, and yet, God always provided what we needed.  We screwed things up a lot of times by going after the things we WANTED, but He always met us for what we needed. And He continues to provide what we need to this day.  I am so grateful that He loves us and watches over us.

And He loves you and watches over you as well.  So many people take things for granted.  They may always have lots of food to eat; they may always have money to do whatever they want to with... but do they realize what a blessing that is?  I can remember when going to Burger King after church on Sundays was a treat for us!  We have become a greedy group of people, always wanting things and not seeking diligently after the heart of God.

People do not realize how much God wants to bless them.  All He asks is that you accept Him as Lord of your life, and give Him the honor due Him.  To love Him; to worship Him as Lord.  We tend to put so many other things before Him.... and that is our failure in life.  We may - or may not  - have success in the things we do without Him... but when you dedicate your life and your family to Him,  He will walk the journey of life with you and it will be so much more successful.  You will never be in need, for He says He will meet all your needs.  But our God is a jealous God... He must be first in your life.  We are not to put anything in front of Him.

Anything means anything.  Not money. Not desires. Not projects. Not jobs. Not people. Not anything.  We are not to love anything more than Him.

Sound impossible?  If you love God first, then He will give you the desires of your heart for your enjoyment.  But sometimes also, what you think are your desires may not be what God wants for you and to give you.  He sees the big picture of our desires and if it will be good for us or not.  He doesn't want to harm us or cause us problems; He wants to bless us.  But He must be first.

It really isn't hard to let God be first in our lives.  How I wish I had known way back when what I know now!  If I had put God first... if I had been taught about God when I was a child and knew His ways, oh how my life would have been so different!  But God still watched over me and took me to where I would run back to Him and seek Him only and put Him first.  If all I have is taken away, I still will have Jesus.  No one can take Him away from me.

Back to work today - timecard Monday - but since they took one department away from me - timecards are so easy as they are all salaried employees.  I can approve without them approving their cards as I can see if they put in for PTO or not.  So much easier.  

We are planning a trip to Tucson next Saturday.  I'm still paying a lot for a hotel room, but I want to go see my granddaughter and her family.  I don't want to go all year and not see them until Christmas.  I've got to make the effort to see my grandchildren more.  I know they are busy - as I am - but I need to reach out.  Christmas to Christmas with them being near us is far too long. That is my goal this year - to see them more often.  We'll be heading down mid-day to Tucson, visit our granddaughter, check in at the hotel, go back and visit and have dinner with them.  Overnight at the hotel and in the morning we plan to just stay in and read our Bibles and have a 'retreat' time.  After we check out, will stop by and see them as we head back out of town.  I don't want to be an inconvenience to them; but do want to see them and appreciate them taking time out of their busy schedules to see us.

I hope to be able to contact our former neighbor today.  Hubby has made no effort to return his call. When hubby was in the bathroom the other night I grabbed his phone and verified that I had the right number.  I hope to make contact with John today and see if all is ok.  I really want to see him face-to-face so that I can get information from him and make sure we will know if something happens to him. I know John cares about us and would help us if we ever needed him.  But he and hubby just didn't hit it off... he would try to offer help (wisdom) to hubby - and it was resented... oh well - another story another day.

Need to get my thoughts together for another day.  A new employee has been hired and I need to order equipment for him.  Another part of this job that I don't care for.  So many forms to get a new employee taken care of.  Why can't they just have one form and you put all the information on that one form?  It would be so much easier.  Last time I was told I ordered (and they shipped) a double order of monitors.  I can see how that happened - but daggone it - if I didn't have so many forms to fill out to order equipment and things, it wouldn't have happened! UGH.

Hope that your day is a ...

Blessing!

It's a fun thing....

 One of my granddaughters gave me a ball of yarn for Christmas.  In a cute little bag.  Yes, I said a ball and not a skein.  The yarn was rolled up in to a ball.  I was confused at first when I opened the little cloth bag it was in. She said to read the note inside.  I found the note and I don't remember now what it said, but it said something about the yarn holding some surprises in it.   At 'girls night out' last night I found out what it is.  My daughter hadn't waited on us doing them together, but had already found a few of her surprises.   I found two in mine before I came home.  What?  Her bag for the yarn was the Avengers.  She received two iron men, groot, and the incredible hulk (she got all the way through her yarn ball) knitting needle point covers.  My bag is of Santa and avocado reindeer ... and I unwound the ball (as I crochet'd) to where I found two snowmen knitting needle covers.  Really cool.  Can't wait to keep going and see what else I find.  What a great idea.  Yes, it really is for 'knitters', but I'm crocheting... and I do have two knitting projects going so can put them on those needles.  

I surprised another granddaughter yesterday with a delivery from Amazon.  While she was here baking cookies (along with my great-granddaughter) we were talking about cooking (as she is also an awesome cook!) and I showed her my oil sprayers.  I casually asked if she had, and she did not, so I ordered her one like mine.  It arrived yesterday.  She and her hubby were pleased with the gift.  Some times I do something right.  It was fun to send something she could use and liked.

This will be very short this morning....and I'm going to blame it on the Musinex DM that I took last night.  I have been falling asleep frequently.  Didn't get to write in my journal... didn't get some reading done I wanted to do... and here I am... with about15 minutes to go before work time.   I'm at the tail end of this cold that I've had since the first of December.  I take Musinex DM and Robitussin DM with Honey and (one in morning, one at night) and I think I'm finally almost over it.  When they start wearing off, I start the coughing.  Oh well.  Surely it has run its course by now.

First day at work was pretty busy until about 2PM and then I didn't have that much to do.  My favorite boss was at the hospital with her dad part of the day; he is 94 and fell at the assisted living and broke his hip.  She'll update me today.  My other boss had worked some on Monday so that filled most of my day of with things to do.  He was in meetings most of yesterday so we didn't have much interaction.  Not even a 'happy new year' from him.  It must be a 'man thing'.  

Our fast starts on Sunday, January 8th, and will continue until January 30th.  Friends want us to have dinner with them so when they heard we were going to go on the fast, well, we have dinner out Thursday night with one couple, and Friday night with another.  Fasting doesn't mean we aren't going to eat at all.... we will just restrict ourselves on what we want to give up for God.  It's something we WANT to do.  Hubby has pretty much decided at this point that he will do whatever I decide to do so that we 'can do it together'.  I am going with the Daniel Fast.... I'm just working through how strict I am going to be.  I'll be making that decision soon.  21 days isn't very long for a lifetime of God's favor.  He has proven that over the years when we have fasted - wonder how many years we have done this now... but anyway, He always takes care of us and provides what we need.  It is our offering of the firstfruit of the year back to Him.  And we are happy to do it.

There is a release, a restoration, and a reward of fasting.  Why do we do it?  God said humble yourself before Me and I will exalt you. You cannot humble yourself in fasting and God not exalt you. There are places you're supposed to go to that in the flesh you are not able to make happen on your own.  It's going to take God. Humble yourself before the mighty hand of God, and in due season He will exalt you.

If I don't forget, I'll continue that topic tomorrow - It's good stuff - I promise! But, I have 4 minutes to get on the computer.  At least I can stay in my jammies if I want.  Actually, I can probably ....

Well, I got on my work computer to find some stuff that needed my immediate attention - and here it is an hour later.... 

Need to give work stuff my attention - so, until tomorrow... have a 

Blessed day!

It was late in the afternoon....

 when I got the email from one of the senior directors with information about a new hire who will be starting the day after labor day.  In Pennsylvania.  What that means is that I need to complete several forms to get equipment ordered - laptop, monitors, keyboards, headsets, etc. - and have IT get them shipped.  Then..... our cable went out and there was nothing I could do.  My last hour before going on 'vacation'.  I could have passed it all over to another admin and asked them to do it because our cable went out (saw to Cox trucks down the street...what did they do?).  But, I didn't feel that was fair.  And even though I don't know what I'm doing as I haven't had to order equipment like this before, I decided I would go back online sometime today and try to input the information and get as far as I can (assuming the cable is back on - the TV was on last night so it should be).  If I get stuck, I will have to pass it on to someone else, but I didn't want to push it off - because I really do not want to do it.  Yep.  There I said it.  I really do not want to order the equipment and jump through all the hoops IT makes us do (because of security) and get it done.  But, it is part of my job and I need to do it. 

But.  It will get done later this afternoon.  This morning I will be having breakfast with my youngest son, and then I asked him to take me to the AFB to look at Apple Watches.  I'm still flip-flopping on whether or not to get one, don't need it, but I like the information that it shares.  I've talked extensively with my brother and a couple others who have them and they all comment they are glad to have the information.  I get a lot of information from my Versa 2, but it is mainly used for steps.  We have a program at work called Virgin Pulse that tracks my steps in challenges (same as Fitbit) but with co-workers moreso than family.  I would have to manually input my steps from the watch since it doesn't connect with Fitbit nor Virgin Pulse.  One thing for sure, it would make me more conscious of my steps if I had to input the total every day.  I will look at the watch today and make a decision while I'm there.  I received over half the money for my birthday so it's a gift of sorts.  I will probably get it.... but I have questions before I do.

Early afternoon I am to call my neighbor's daughter and she wants to take me to see her mother so that I know where this place is and where her mother's 'apartment' is located.  I can't 'enjoy' the thought of going on vacation until I get all these 'priorities' completed.  Need to go to the grocery yet and pick up things to take with us too. Yes, we can buy some things there, but can get some things cheaper here - like a case of water, hubby's V-8, etc.  Not a lot of shopping - and they are not priority.

I was reading in Haggai in this morning.  I love it when something pops lout that although I've read it before, it is still an 'aha!' moment when I read it  Setting the scene, King Darius had allowed the Jews who had been taken to Babylon, to return to Jerusalem.  So the people had returned, and started to rebuild the temple mount, planning to rebuild the temple.  But, the people who lived there from other areas said and did things that discouraged them.  So what did the Jews do?  They started focusing on their own homes, their own things. They went up in to the forests and brought back wood to cover their roofs and panel their walls.  They made their homes elaborate, but left the house of the Lord unfinished.

That did not set well with the Lord.  Whenever God's people focus more on their own net worth than His work, they experience consequences.  They experience failure.  No matter how hard self-interested people work, they never get enough, and end up with nothing to show for it and can never get ahead.

They are also frustrated.  Nothing satisfies them or gets accomplished with they hoped for.  It is futile.  No matter what they earn, if God isn't the center of their lives, they find their values change ... as their values change (from God to themselves).  God will withhold His blessings if He is not center of our lives.

Haggai 1:6 (NKJV):  "You have sown much, and bring in little; You eat, but do not have enough; You drink, but you are not filled with drink; You clothe yourselves, but no one is warm; And he who earns wages, Earns wages to put into a bag with holes."

That is a sobering thought, isn't it?  Haggai was telling the people God's message to them  and to us - if you don't put Me first, this is what happens.  The warning is that 'what happens in the heart affects every aspect of life.' The price of the Israelite's selfishness was their loss of God's blessings.  And the price of our selfishness and self-centeredness is the loss of God's blessings.  

Who has the priority in your life?  When you put God first, you will find He blesses you and your family in so many ways.  Some are so minor that we don't even think about them.  It's like tithing to the Lord.  When we give God the first fruits of our earnings, He will bless us.  I've shared about that before and how God has taken what little I could give, but it was all I had, and He turned it around and blessed it.  God must come first in our lives; Jesus is the Center. 

Malachi 3:10 (NKJV):  "Bring all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be food in My house, And try Me now in this," Says the Lord of hosts, "If I will not open for you the windows of heaven and pour out for you such blessing that there will not be room enough to receive it."

In what do you place your priorities?  When you put God first, His blessings are always forthcoming in ways you cannot imagine.  Trust Him.  Make God your priority and see what He will do for you.

Blessings!

Holiday over - back to work!

 Yeah - it's that 'dreaded Monday' when I have to face the computer all day again.  I will get a break when I head over to the daughter's to feed their animals this morning.  Yes, I can do that.  They arrive back in town tonight so this will be the last morning I need to go over there.  I don't mind; it's a break in my routine.  I am back to work today and I did not even turn the computer on over the weekend.  I do see on my phone, cause I do get my work emails on it too, that I have about 21 messages.... hopefully they aren't for things for me to do.  I'll eliminate most of them quickly once I get online in about 20 minutes.

We had a good new years day.... was invited over to a granddaughter's to see their new house.  We had a nice visit and lunch and then came home.  We didn't do anything after that; the decorations remained.  BUT, I did get motivated yesterday and got everything taken down and all but the few things I forgot, are put away in the garage.  I even cleaned out some of my dishes, and busted up Amazon boxes of which I had a great collection of.  Recycle won't pick up for another week and a half yet, but they are ready to go.  It felt good to be busy doing something and I felt even better because I had moved my body and done something.  I have gotten so lazy since I've been working from home.  

But that is going to change this year.  My mind is constantly going on how I am going to move things around and get rid of things and make that back room my exercise room.  I almost laughed out loud the other day.  I was sharing with someone about my thoughts on making the back room my exercise room, and I overheard hubby telling someone about OUR exercise room.  We both need to use it - and we both need to go to the gym.  Maybe I can get him to go tonight after I get off work.  He always has to decide WHEN we can go, and if I want to go and he doesn't, he grumbles.  So I don't go either.  But I have gained fat, not just weight, and I need to get healthy again.

The fast is going well, I think.  Day one went well, anyway.  I refrained from snacking - afterall, I was busy taking down the tree, putting things away.  I fixed breakfast (late) and dinner and they were in line with our decision.  Hubby frequently asks what he can have, and I tell him that is between him and God.  I am not putting him on a fast; that is his choice.  He has to decide what to give up and what to eat.  He has to choose what God would want him to do.  It isn't my decision for him (good thing, I'd be much more strict, I'm afraid).  He causes me great weariness because he always wants to do what I do, or keep his focus on what I want to focus on (pretty much).  I want to say to him ' Be Yourself'!  If God hasn't called you to fast - then don't!  But if He has, He will show you what He wants you to give up.  And once you say you will give it up - stick to it.  I actually wrote down my decision and his - the other day on what we were giving up for 21 days - AND what is the purpose of the fast.  By that, I mean, why are we fasting?  What is the focus of our prayers?

I am just going to put out here what I am fasting for - the main purpose.  That doesn't mean that I am not praying for other things to happen (healing of Tom's body, etc.), but it means that this is important to me and I want to pray for it.  My main purpose is that we find a church in which we can plug in and become a part of.  Yes, we have said we want to attend a certain church here in the northwest valley, and they do have small groups here in our community that we had hoped to become a part of.  But, we did sign up for one a couple months ago after we made that decision.... I emailed the leader and even the pastor overseeing that group.  No response.  You know how that annoys me.  I emailed a week later, still no response.  I finally went in to check out the group again and it was no longer listed.  It had seemed our best fit.  It's possible the group had disbanded and hadn't been removed from the list yet.  But I have a problem with no responses to my emails.   

And then hubby went into the hospital and the reality that if something happened to him, if I needed someone to walk with me through a serious journey, I had no church family to do so.  That troubled me.  The church is important to me and the people are there to walk with whomever needs it.  So I briefly shared with hubby my feelings on that - perhaps no response is God's way of telling us that is not where He wants us to go.  I don't know.  We still watch messages; except for various reasons, we haven't the past couple of weeks and that troubles me.  We haven't even watched Jentezen Franklin - although I did yesterday when I drove to my daughter's and back - and it was a great message!  I told hubby - and reminded him we could watch it on YouTube, but he chose instead to watch football.  Maybe I can get him to watch it tonight.

Anyway, I had planned for us to attend this other church yesterday that some friends go to that they say is 'on fire for Jesus'.... but hubby started coughing and sounding congested Saturday evening.  He coughed a few times during the night, and was coughing frequently Sunday morning.  I finally told him that we needed to not go; I heard that this new virus is  like a cold - and not knowing where he got it from, we needed to stay home in case it wasn't just a cold.  So I've had him taking Olive Leaf Extract pills and hopefully he will be over it soon - however, I have heard him coughing some this morning as well.  When I got up about 4:20AM to come into my room, he was already up and when he brought my coffee in, he commented that his shoulder kept him awake all night.

I don't understand why he goes to therapy for his shoulder when it is arthritis and there is nothing they can do about that.  I don't understand why they don't just give him a shot of cortisone to help with the pain so that he can sleep.  I get it the cortisone will wear off in a few months and it will require another shot, etc. and that eventually it won't help.  So then what?  He has complained about that shoulder for years and now it is a constant complaint.  He can barely move that shoulder without wincing and yelping even a small amount.  Maybe there isn't anything to help arthritis - but surely there is something that can help with the pain.  Every night it is a cold pack on his shoulder and every morning it is a heating pad.  What really helps and what is just pacifying him into thinking it is helping -when in reality it is not?   Sigh.  Sorry.  Sometimes I feel it is an excuse to not do things... and other times I know it really does hurt.  

I'm back to work today so guess I need to stop and get it turned on.  Just saw it is 6:45AM - I'm usually online much earlier.  Time to start the day.

Hope you had a great new years and are ready to attack this year with a positive outlook.  If your perspective is bad; change it.  It will make all the difference.

Blessings!

Getting things done.....

 Christmas is quickly approaching and I'm finishing up with a few things that I want to cook/bake/get done.  I had a very light day yesterday so I checked the computer periodically and made 4 batches of salsa - finishing up all that I need to make for the grandchildren.  It sounds like I made a lot, but one batch is only about 1 quart and 1 pint.   I try to make each one a quart - whoever wants it.  At least I'm done with salsa right now - and even had a pint for hubby, for which made him very happy.  He was always asking 'did you make any for us?  did you save any for us?' - when in reality it was 'did you make any for me?'  LOL  

I also expanded my horizon and tried to make a mint cheesecake with a chocolate base out of my Junior's Cheesecake cookbook.  I will never, ever, ever, (I don't think) try to make this again.  Oh my goodness - what a lot of work - and I don't think it turned out.  The crust itself took over an hour to make (in between me checking the computer) cause it had to bake.  Then the real work started in making the cheesecake - oh my word.  Trust me, I will pay whatever it costs to buy a Junior's Cheesecake (New York) for it is well worth it.  It took a lot of work, and a lot of time, to make this cheesecake - and then had to put it in a 'water bath' and it was to bake for 85 minutes - seriously!  By the end of 25-30 minutes it was dark brown on top so I just took it out - I didn't want it to burn!  It's now in the freezer... not sure if I will attempt to bring it out or not.  I may for the first group over Christmas Eve night... if it's not good, then can get rid of it.  But I think it will be good.  I had a bit left over from the first batch and put in the 4" pan and it tastes ok.... but now I need to cover up the dark brown top.  Maybe if I could have given it all my attention, it would be better, but I don't have much confidence in it now.  Besides, I did order 18 of the Junrior's Cheesecake cupcakes and they are in the refrigerator for dessert.  As well as a chocolate creme pie, and a turtle pie.  I had planned to also make an apple cobbler in the crockpot, but will see.  There will be so much food for dinner, no one may want dessert.   I did find another recipe (not from the cookbook) for a blueberry cheesecake - which did not require baking - and made it as well.  It actually does taste pretty good!  In fact, hubby and I had some of it last night after dinner.  Will see how long that lasts!

I need to review my groceries to make sure I have everything I want to cook this weekend.  I'm in my 'seventh heaven' when I get to cook for everyone.  It's one of the joys I get.  I don't even mind the clean up cause I get to use my 'love gift' of creating dishes to give to others.  Thank goodness for dishwashers, though!  I did do online ordering at Fry's the other night and picked up everything I thought I needed.  I just need to confirm that I did get everything.  It would probably be a good idea to write out a menu - then I would know what I'm fixing.  I'm so excited to be able to cook for my children and grandchildren - and great-grandchildren!  

Everything (well, except for a couple little things) are wrapped and under the tree because I quit shopping for Christmas a week or so ago.  There are some packages that still come in occasionally - and I tell hubby these things have been either delayed or back-ordered.... I'm not going online and ordering Christmas gifts.  If I buy anything, it is for me, for now. :-)  And then it isn't much - usually a book or two.  LOL  I do love my books.  Trying to find a new Bible study to do on my own when I finish the one I'm doing.  I do have a confession.  After the first six verses, I quit memorizing.  I tried, I really did, but there were some issues going on and my heart just wouldn't let me retain it.  I do read the verses every day, and perhaps some of it will stick.  And then I tell myself that I need to memorize verses that will be meaningful to me for living life, not 'in her hand she holds the distaff and with her fingers holds the spindle' or something like that.   A Proverbs 31 woman I am probably not, but I did, and am, learning some things from the book.  Just finished day 73 today.  Right now it's talking about hospitality - something I enjoy doing; hubby not so much. 

I am working today and tomorrow, getting December 24th off.  But although my two big bosses are working, their meetings are light and I will rarely hear from them.  I do have a meeting with one to go over his calendar this morning for next week.  But other than that - I can get a lot of other things done, like I did yesterday.   Both are totally blocked tomorrow with no meetings so I will have pretty much all day to do whatever - but I do need to read about timecards and how to approve them.  I have to do it this Monday and the person I am taking it on from - she signed off and turned in her computer last Friday without even telling me 'bye' or showing me how to do it.  We had briefly gone over some things, but I'm still uncertain how to do it.  Then I found out another admin is leaving and yes - I am getting her people to approve timecards for too!  I've had to take on three more leaders in addition to the two chiefs I support... and then there are their direct reports.  Yeah, I'm busy.  And I don't mind busy, but not knowing how to do things often makes me wish I didn't have to - that I wasn't working.

But I am glad I am working.  We got notification the other day - the 'soft re-opening' that had been planned for leaders to start coming back in to the office has been halted due to this new strain of virus - indefinitely.  So if I'm at home, working in jeans and t-shirt, it's the life, right?  As long as I don't have to do board meetings it is!  I've gotten lazy since I haven't had to take minutes for awhile.  I don't know these people and without having them face to face, it's hard to do minutes of who said what.  It sure has been easier for us with not having gas expenses and clothing expenses.  Especially since I have gained some weight since I've been home.  Got to get refocused on eating better and less of it.  In other words, stay out of the cheesecake!  

January 2nd we will start our 21 day fast for the year.  I've been thinking about what I will give up - and I like the BBCD I usually do.  No beef, bread, chocolate, or dessert.  Sometimes it is hard, it really is!  Usually I will just eat chicken and fish with vegetables, which is good for me.  I sometimes leave out the pasta as I consider it a bread product, but it really isn't.  It does have flour in it though; just not bread flour.  Last time I did something different - which I can't remember what it was now - but I recall it was harder to stay focused on not doing it.  I have beef, bread, chocolate and dessert under the acronymn BBCD so it's easier to remember.  And trust me, it is hard to give up my bread!

The point isn't for us to just 'give up something we enjoy' for 21 days each year.  It is giving our attention to God during that time versus focusing on food.  Some people go without any food, or eat only one meal a day, during the 21 days.  Several churches have taken it up now.  I enjoy doing it 'with others' even though we aren't with them physically.  I have seen the blessings God has given us because we choose to give up some food that we enjoy as a tithe to Him part of the first month of the year.  I'll probably talk more about this on January 1.

God has been good, and He has been faithful to us.  I've noticed it more so this year, I think, than in years past.  Yeah, we still go through some things, but overall, when we release things to Him, He gets us through it.

Goals to think about for the new year?  Haven't gotten that far yet in my thinking.  Perhaps after Christmas I will ponder that.  My son made a comment a few years back about resolutions versus goals... I don't remember exactly what it was now, but it makes more sense.  So I choose goals versus resolutions.  What about you?

Need to jump off and sign on the computer - then get dressed for the day.  Oh what shall I wear?  Oh yeah - jeans and t-shirt will work!  And a sweatshirt or hoodie... I sometimes get chilly when I stay back in this room.  I may bake cookies today... not sure what I'll do.  I NEED to review timecards and how to do them... but that's Monday, right?  UGH.  I don't like this part of the job!  I've never had to do it before so why should I do it for other people?!  

Have an awesome day!  Are you on the nice or naughty list this year?

Blessings!

I hear the sound of thunder....

 and now the rain is pouring down!  We desperately needed a good rain out here; not so much a hard rain, but it would be nice if it would trickle down to a soft, steady rain and allow the rain to soak down into the earth.  The rain now will not soak down, but will create travel difficulties for many.  Especially out here.  And hubby left about 5 minutes ago for his Bible study with his friends.  In the rain. And he's driving.  So what do I do?  I pray for his safety, for the safety of his vehicle, and for the safety of those around him.  It's difficult for the best driver when the rain is coming down like this, let alone those of us who are a bit slower.  

I love the sound of the rain and thunder and wish that I did not have to work today, but stay here in my chair and wrapped up in my blanket and prayer shawl, listen to the sound.  I'd love to turn the light off and just sit in the darkness and listen to what God is doing this morning.  As long as the wind isn't blowing harshly to where I have to fear for damage to the house, I love to just lose myself in the sounds of the rain and thunder.  It is slowing down to a steady rain now, it sounds like.

I am glad I don't have to take Sheeba out for a couple hours yet - she definitely would NOT go out in this!  How do you feel about the rain?  Do you enjoy the thunder (I didn't say anything about lightening.... I only like to watch it from a distance) and rain?  How does it make you feel emotionally, mentally?  Do you ever feel like it is soothing?

We went to the wedding reception last night and it was so good to see our friends there.  When we arrived, several people came rushing to us and hugging us and telling us how much they missed us.  We truly felt loved and the thought came to me....'could we drive the 45 minutes one way to go one day a week?'  But I told myself we broke it off, we need to leave it at that.  I have always felt so loved, albeit somewhat frustrated at times.

I was able to chat with a couple people from our State Association and of course we were asked where we were attending church.  I just told them we were still seeking, but that we would probably end up with this specific one.  I want good Bible teaching; not foo foo preaching.  I want to know how to apply God's Word to my life today.  If my toes get stepped on; so be it.  I want to grow in Christ.   We had a great time speaking with many of the people that came.  The pastor came to me and gave me a big hug and just kept saying 'welcome home', 'welcome home'.  I'm not sure what it is, but he has a special respect for me; in fact, his entire family does.  I may not agree with how they do 'church', but their love and respect is real.

I also found out that another friend there - younger than me, of course.  I think she is like around 62. Anyway... she retired as of last Friday.  I was asked several times last night if I had retired yet.  Of course I had to answer no.  So the question would come, 'when do you plan to retire'?  I always answered 'I don't know'.  I was also asked what would I do if I was retired.  That made me pause for what would flash before my eyes was not much different than it is now.  Of course in my mind I would do volunteer work; I would get a part time job just to be kept busy.  But would I?  Would hubby LET me?  He likes the fact that I work full time - especially now that I'm working from home.  He won't like the reduction in the paycheck, although I calculated out the other day that if he reined in some of his activities we could certainly make it easily enough.  I would have to quit shopping too, though.  Am I ready to stop that?  And yet, I can say yes to that.  I would like to be free to do things during the week.  Extensive traveling would not be on our radar, unfortunately.  I can deal with that.  I'd love to not have to worry about minutes, doing reports, and other things that are required.  Over the past year I have forgotten how to do a lot of things and with two new bosses, I know things will change.  Every one does things differently.  

Hubby made reservations for us to go up north for a few days next month to celebrate our anniversary.  I had told him no before due to him getting a car and having that expense.  But I know the money is in the bank so I didn't protest when he brought it up.  We both desperately need to get away - me from work; him from the heat, he says.  I did suggest we take a couple days and do a mini retreat where we don't go anywhere but just stay in the room and read our Bibles/books and think about what we want to do in the future.  Although our future is reduced from what it was 30 years ago.  I do love my mini-retreats, but usually prefer doing them alone where I can concentrate and focus on God without interruptions.  And usually we go on the day of our anniversary or right after, but this time with out anniversary being on a Saturday, we'll go the Wednesday before.  I have a new boss starting on August 16th and I will need to meet him at the office on that date and hand off the laptop.  I hope he lives on this side of town for I can get his laptop to him before the 16th and maybe NOT have to go into the office.  I'll check with him closer to the date; right now I think he lives in Yuma.

The thunder is now in the far distance, and the rain sounds like it has stopped.  We were just a 'pass-by' I guess.  Hopefully it has cooled the temperatures down some, but even more importantly than that, cleared the air.  Sometimes, especially lately, it feels like we are breathing dirt out here.

Hubby is gone, the rain has stopped, and I hear the birds out making their noises.  Other than the sound of my fingers on the keyboard, it is silent here.  Ah, Sheeba just moved.  But the silence is there.  Thunder in the distance is soft.  I would love to just stay here and be silent before God.  Those are my favorite times, when I am quiet, the world around me is void of sound, and my thoughts are turned to God.

Psalm 46:10  "Be still, and know that I am God."

I hear Him in the thunder; I see Him in the rain.  And I sit, and I am still.  I can hear You now, Lord.  The busyness of my life is not my focus right now.  You are.  I am waiting for You, Lord. Come visit me today.

Blessings.

One week left of June.... and December's coming!

 Although it doesn't seem like it so much during the day, but this year feels like it is flying by.  It dawned on me the other day that we were nearly through June already.  Not that time is going by any faster than it has in the past, but perhaps I am just moving slower through it.  This working from home is great in that God has kept me off the 1.5 hour drive home - or more - as I've mentioned before.  I've actually GAINED time back in my life by being home at 4PM when I get off work.  And I have come to dread when they tell us to go back in to the office this fall.  That is the new timeframe anyway.  But then, too, I've learned some things since we were told that.

I learned my boss I report to changed my status to remote.  Which means I work from home permanently.  The office space that was to be 'mine' in the central corporate office has been 'released' and is no more.  As my former boss who recently retired told me last week, real estate is expensive, especially in office space.  They released three floors they were holding for all of us to move in to.  There are only a few offices that must be reserved when one has to go into the office, unless they are an executive, i.e., President, CMO, CFO, etc.  They have permanent offices.  Support staff, such as I am, if they have to come in to the office must reserve a cubicle for the time they are there.  And then there is the issue of 'wear a mask if not vaccinated and sit away from people' and 'wear a mask if vaccinated and you feel you need to, but you don't have to distance yourself'.  Also - only THREE people are allowed in an elevator.  Remember when we would cram 12-15 people into an elevator just to get to our floor - or to the bottom floor to go home?  So many restrictions and I just don't want to be involved in it.  I'm growing content to work from home, even though I feel enclosed in here some days.  If I get rid of some of the furniture in here it would help, I think.  I am constantly backing into the bed. 

We went out to lunch yesterday (I was totally bored.... nothing was going on) to a place called Carramba's. It's a Mexican fast food type place and we hadn't tried it before.  I love Mexican food so why not.  Well, I must remind myself never to order my favorite - pollo fundido - from any place but Garcia's.  I ordered it and well, I slit the burrito open (it was covered with some icky sauce) and ate the chicken inside of it.  I as truly disappointed.  Perhaps I should stick with a taco when I go to a place like that.  I will try again, but it is also one of those $$ places, so maybe not.  Since we were across the way from Sam's Club, decided to do a stop there.  I haven't belonged to Sam's Club for a long time as Costco is a step up.  Well, it's about a mile closer now than Costco is..... and I received a flyer in a valupak that gets mailed monthly.... pay $45 for 'membership' and get a $45 gift card free.  So, technically, for one year, I don't pay anything for membership.  We didn't shop as I was on my lunch hour but may go back this afternoon, once people have been in and out the rush of the morning, and go see what they have.  I want us to start eating more fruits and vegetables and unprocessed foods.  Which means I also need to hit the recipe books and select things to make each week.  The plus of that is that one recipe can sometimes last two meals - and the rest get put into the freezer for another time.  I haven't really cooked in a long time... and I need to do it.  The crockpot won't heat the house up so that helps.  I didn't even cook dinner last night since neither of us wanted anything with eating out for lunch.  

I'm needing to bake more bread and I want to bake cookies too.... but it is too hot to do so.  Trying not to heat up the house and shutting the shutters to keep the heat out.  That means we read; I crochet; we watch movies.  Cause we don't want to go anywhere either.  Maybe I'll take the time today to actually figure out meals.  Or not.  

Nothing is planned for today - unless I run to Sam's Club to check it out.  It's too hot in the garage - even with the door open - (89 degrees in the garage yesterday afternoon - and it's already 89 degrees outside) to get on the treadmill.  I must get back into my exercise routine.  Started back on lifting my weights recently.  Trying to build strength up back in my arms and back.  With sitting all day here at home, my muscles have really gotten lax.  I need the walking and using weights to keep my body strong.  My little sister found a book the other day called Strong Women Stay Young as they were cleaning out her mother-in-law's house that was sold.  My little sister has been diagnosed with Osteoporosis and this book says she can reverse it - IF she will start lifting weights and getting exercise.  And I believe it as well - not completely, perhaps, but possibly help strengthen her bones.  After all, she tends to fall frequently and hard.  Not long ago she compressed her T12 (I think) and broke a rib.  She has 'shrunk' to 5'1", I think she said, and she was always taller than I and I'm 5'3".  Rather, I was the last time I got a physical and they measured!  I know we shrink as we age, but I try stretching all the time in hopes that I don't shrink!  I'm already short!

One more week left in my Elijah study and my little sister and I have decided to do another study - it's really a 'personal' 90 day study but we can still discuss some things - from a book by Beth Moore '90 Days with Jesus'.  I've done it before and am looking forward to going through it again.  This study on Elijah has really been good and the past two weeks really gets personal to where I squirm sometimes because I don't want to 'own up' to the question.  Ever have those times when you are reading something and it asks you a question that you don't want to answer?  What do you do?

You either shut it off in your mind and say 'I'm not going there', or you tackle the question and 'just do it'.  Right?  Sometimes we need to be honest with ourselves and speak it out.  It doesn't mean it changes anything, but sometimes it helps us to see what we are holding in and how it looks and sounds.  I know that at times - because I tend to hold so much of my thoughts inside of me - that when I speak out how I feel about something, my mind and my heart will sometimes argue over what I said.  And sometimes I realize that I have blown something out of porportion and imagined a few other incidents that make it not real.  Ever done that?  Sometimes it helps to speak what is going on in your mind and in your heart.

I started over with Matthew in my Bible reading today.  I've been jumping around in my reading for awhile because I like reading about the prophets in the Old Testament.  But something in this last week's study has stirred my heart to where I want to start 'reading the red' (or in my current Bible, 'reading the blue') and hear the words of Jesus again.  You DID know His words are in a different color in most Bibles, yes?  I remember a grandson asked for a Bible several years ago and I bought him one by Charles Stanley.  A study Bible and I thought "ok, this is a respected pastor and it should have good stuff in it."  Even had the grandson's name imprinted on it (that was when we had Christian stores close by and we could go in and place the order).  Can you imagine my dismay when we got the Bible and I opened it and the words of Jesus were NOT highlighted?  I almost didn't want to give it as a gift; but did.  I've always been disappointed in that gift.  I wanted to go through it myself and highlight every word that Jesus said!  Every Bible I have has the words of Jesus highlighted.  This one didn't and I don't know why.  But it has always bothered me.

After reading that, did you stop to check what color, if any, that your Bible has for Jesus' words?  Don't have a Bible?  Let me know and I'll send you one!  I gave one to each of my children a year or so ago... and I still pray that at some point in their lives, they will feel a tug to pick it up and start reading.  If they read nothing else... I hope they read the Gospels - Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John..... and fall in love with Jesus, just as I have.  His words teach us so much.  Whenever I struggle, all I need to do is go to Jesus and He will show me what I need to know.  I still may struggle with the answer because in my human nature "I don't wanna"! but I know that His way is always the right way.   Read the stories that are about Jesus.  They will come to life in your thoughts.

I'm going to stop here.....why don't you pick up that Bible that has been collecting dust (hopefully you know where it is) and wipe it off, and start with Matthew for now.  Read the lineage of Jesus, and learn of Him.  You will never regret it,.  Jesus gave us the New Covenant by the shedding of His blood and going to the cross for us.  We no longer have to go to a priest to confess our sins.  Jesus is our Advocate before our Heavenly Father and He intercedes for us.  Talk to Jesus.  He's waiting for you, and ready to listen.

Blessings!